A New Untold Story - What's in the Suitcase? - A New Untold Story: Ep. 328

Episode Date: January 26, 2023

KB does his first stand up set. Ads: Factor Go to https://barstool.link/FactorKB and use code KB60 to get 60% off your first boxYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, A New Untold Story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad-free on Amazon Music. A new untold story episode 328 uh last week we launched some t-shirts some uh look at that look at this for the podcast listeners it's uh uh me and kyle i guess holding microphones the their microphones everybody thinks their fleshlights are the the um the really nice flashlights fleshlight people think they're fleshlights or flashlights um but they're they're podcast microphones or mics um rude boy uh but yeah so it's uh anime style it says experience the power of rui hachimura in japanese the bottom it says it says in Japanese with Rude Boy and former accountant Mook.

And then the front, it says the number one podcast in ad retention. That's what it says? Yeah. Okay. Go buy one. I'm being honest. Yeah. Because I feel like we don't, you guys should just go buy one.

Yeah, go buy one. Maybe we'll get a promo code we have a promo code no little kb promo code in a perfect world huh yeah so this sucks because we have an ad this week and the one of the promo code is save it save it they don't know yet i think you kind of foreshadowed a little bit i could help it dude we just got the text whenever you make a movement you might have to move the mic you yeah so if you want to move just move the mic away but then you have to stay perfectly still it's a loud ass gimsuit instead you're you for good you forgo forgo for went for you for went a roast and instead you're doing this.

Yeah, I think it goes without saying. You know you look good in that, right? I don't know. I don't know. I do not know what I look like. Enough from you. Yeah, I don't know how this is perceived. I don't know anything about gimp suits, but I know that's a cheap one.

Oh, yeah. Amazon Prime. You can buy some freaky shit off Amazon. Mm-hmm. Have you ever bought, like, a fake pussy? A fake pussy? Somebody gave me... You bought one, then.

The fleshlight, and I was so grossed out by it. Wait, they gave you a new one? Yeah, a brand new one, obviously. i um they like bought it for me it was gross yeah the whole point you don't want to clean the car you don't want to clean somebody bought me like i bring it to cleveland in 2018 for the national tournament left it at my boy max house and i think they he admitted to using it when he was wrestlers are worse than basketball players at least basketball players fuck hot girls um wrestlers are worse rudy i know you've used a fleshlight no i don't i have not i somebody bought me one for my birthday it wasn't a fleshlight that was like the temporary maybe like three time use like uh but it was like shaped like an egg and you had to like stretch i never used it but yeah i just i think the i think we've said

this the more tech that a man uses to beat off is the is the worst yeah what happened to the pussy like this type of scene like what happened to just the pussy yeah what what what happened to people when they were just like nah that doesn't i need more than just the pussy yeah where do we go wrong i had a buddy one time that had a flashlight and he used to What happened to people when they were just like, nah, that doesn't I need more than just the pussy? Yeah. Where do we go wrong? I had a buddy one time that had a flashlight and he used to take his mattress and the bed frame and then put the flashlight to just add pressure to it. Just he would put it between it. So it was fixed position and then he would fuck it.

We had those dick sucking machines that came into the office before before joey got hired no but it was uh the room but like i put my finger in one it was just like and i was like that why right at what point are you fucking this device do what point do you feel shame right i don't know uh what's what's the episode number today? 3-2-8. 3-2-8. The area code doesn't exist. Wow. They skipped a few.

Randomly. Doesn't exist. That's odd. So I'm out of... We can't do anything. No. But we can. So what do you do when that happens?

Do you reverse? No, you don't do 8-2-3. You go back to the original. You go back to the first numerical area code. Oh, is that what we're going to do? Yeah, because there's a lot. There's a lot of numbers that don't have area codes. So the first area code numerically standalone is 206.

That's what? Yeah. That's like some that are on their anus shit. We what episode? Yeah, they started. So yeah, 206 is where they start. And that's Seattle, Washington. Wow.

What can be said? Yeah. Before you dive in, do you have a heat check for a mayor? Of course. I kind of want to hurt your feelings a little. I want to make you feel bad. OK, the first mayor you heat check. I forgot about him who failed the heat check.

I feel bad. Yeah, I do feel bad. But he did. He failed. He deleted his Merry Christmas Instagram post. Good. What? You know, dude.

He was just, he was like, God bless. Thank you. Sending love. He was the mayor of what? People were saying, you failed the heat check. He deleted his Merry Christmas Instagram post. I didn't know that. Yeah, dude.

I thought you'd feel bad. You're kind of evil. I, what, what was that even? What was the mayor? What city? I already forget. It wasn't feel bad. You're kind of evil. What was that even? What was the mayor? What city? I already forget. It wasn't Little Rock. Little Rock was the one that passed. What city was it?

Dayton, Ohio is a major city. I'm bullying the mayor of Dayton, Ohio. They have semi-pro teams. You forced him out of a Christmas post. That's awesome. How did the last one do? Oh, my God. His comments are insane.

He hasn't said a word. I wonder if he's gotten pussy from that. Yes. Yes. Yeah. So, I mean, if you fail the heat check, you fail the heat check. I'm going to start getting mayors cozying up to me. This is big.

All right. Seattle. I mean, what to say? It's kind of an apocalyptic nightmare. It's the most beautiful region in america probably yeah continental but what's going on there they're constantly giving devastating ice storms did you see that no where you just have they just like slide down the hill to the store there's the fires ice and fire encampment fires thousands a year uh the downtown is deteriorating all the tech firms are closing they're downsizing and it's filled with homeless people which is rapidly increasing yeah yeah homeless destination

is there anything um what else do I got? Starbucks. Coffee, rain, you got it. The construction on the roads, can't see the lanes. Okay. Especially when it rains. Which, yeah. Constantly under construction. Most major cities are. People screaming.

I'm going to be a contrarian to this one. You are? Yeah, Seattle. Nirvana. Duff McKagan. major cities are people screaming i'm gonna be a contrarian to this one you are yeah seattle okay um nirvana duff mckagan that's his name bassist for guns and roses what do i get fraser the 12th man the 12th man everyone's pissed in their car because they're gonna be late not to work in their car because they're going to be late not to work. To what? The lamest roast. Not to work. They're going to be late for their

Monday afternoon Roe v. Wade protest. They're going to be late for their Tuesday evening hike. You know, I5 has people screaming like a bingo hall. It's always under construction. What else do we got? Go to the storefronts downtown the

closed buildings filled with homeless people getting astronomically high on heroin yeah worried about the wrong space needle okay there we go all right now i'm getting into it all right all right seattle lights i don't know anything about them boring uh lame probably bring their dog to the bar yeah they bring their bring their dogs everywhere. Pike Place. It's Pike Place, not Pike's Place. But all of our dads would call it Pike's Place. It's Pike Place. All right.

To the to the main. What? My dad has never talked about. Dads love pluralizing things that aren't. No, my mom does it. Your mom. My mom's a pluralizer. OK.

Seattle 206, the mayor. He check. This is a good one. Bruce Harrell white no I couldn't believe it I couldn't believe it three for three how do you spell Bruce and that's Harrell HR

HR R E L L pull him up and he is a jumbo jacked juiced up Japanese African-American. What's his name? He's not as Rui. Yeah, he's a former superstar linebacker. He's got that Goku swag.

Big ass nuts. Big ass nuts. Dragon balls. He's dragon balls. Let's get into his politics. Controversies. Recently, he stated, I don't think anyone has the right to sleep in a public space and got a lot of backlash for that he thinks homeless people don't have the right to

be homeless he says they can't do it you can't sleep in public or private now i don't know i was all right with that yeah he apologized he's brolic he played football at Washington. All packed 10, 1979. Five interceptions. Wow. Pretty good. Pretty good. Go to his Instagram. What's his name?

It's at Mayor of Seattle. Yeah, he snagged that one. Damn. Good snag. Only how many followers? 1,641. 1,638. That's pretty bad. Yeah. Seattle? Putting followers? 1,641. 1,638. That's pretty bad.

Yeah. Seattle? Putting up walla walla numbers. And look at the first post. It's the quintessential generic holiday wish over top the clip art wallpaper. Happy Lunar New Year, Seattle. Whatever. And I'm going to ignore all the ones where he's in his suit for work because I don't think that doesn't matter.

So we're going to slither down to December 25th, Christmas. I know what you're looking at.ither down to December 25th, Christmas. I know what you're looking at. Yeah. It's him and his wife. You can tell. You can tell. Tell what?

She has that maternal Pixar ass. Nowhere in sight, but you can tell. Yeah, you can tell. And I'm going to have to look at the fit. What do we got here? but you can tell yeah you can tell i'm gonna have to look at the fit what do we got what do we got here he's got the ultra wrinkly extra creased like translucent cantaloupe colored button down and his honeydew is posted in the pink blouse they look like the co-employees of the month at the dunkin donuts in frammingham um not positive on the brand but i think that's the ralph the r the Ralph ultra flex.

I think it is. And it's so wrinkly. It is. It is. Look at that. It's so wrinkled. It's fresh out the box and it's still wrinkled. Benjamin button.

What? Nothing. I would deduct like 20 degrees from the heat check for that abomination of a shirt. But look at that arm. Look at that arm. Yeah. Look at the size of that. Big ass bicep. bicep his bicep looks like a traffic bear look um and it's getting squeezed to smithereens by that orange tropicana's revenge all right so i i it's it's a wash for the heat

it's it's it's a wash yeah it's a wash is Yeah, it's a wash there. It's a heat check wash. So we're going to have to go down. We're going to slide down to November 28th, where he appears to be rocking a fit that he actually picked out himself. November 28th. Oh, okay. He's on stage. He's commanding it.

He's doing the Apollo pose. And what has he got on? He's got on the warm. I think that's the warm honey Burberry puffer. Yeah. Attachable sleeves. That's $1,600. $1,600 on the puff.

And that goes harder than standardized testing. It's got a fat ass puff. Take you to boating school. Under the Burberry jacket. Under the Burberry jacket. If that wasn't enough. Yeah, Mrs. Crab. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Teach SpongeBob how to drive that puff. Alright, alright. Under the Burberry Jacket, it looks like, guys, it looks like more Burberry. And I think that's the wool blend vert striped turtle. You think? Yeah, yeah. Mixed berries on

the torso. No bib. He's got tricks for the kids. I like it. I like it it and we're ready to slide down to the denim not much to say here pretty simple but the jeans go wild the jeans go wild willy wonka and looks like he's got the polo suede on his feet marco uh drippy in seattle god damn that's redundant okay down to november 4th sorry no please please no he's rocking the baby gave back that's the sir mix a lot philanthropic long sleeve double stuff colorway gem mint with the og himself sir mix a lot yeah that's a power up down to november 3rd

it's simple he's piece of leaning on he looks seven foot five he has got the right angle he's in front of some tasteful street art okay guys he was dressing in november no turkey all gravy well we know it's hard it's hard to have all that bread when you're surrounded by herbs and the seattle government is whack but he's still standing out okay heat check mount saint helens oh oh shit god damn oh my god um so yeah let him know i need you i need a mayor to approach you and for like an unofficial endorsement for like a run a mayor that's running i want to get into the mayor game yeah yeah you i want you to be a king maker in local government this is gonna be big i don't even know who's up next but they shouldn't you should let whoever's up next with

the area codes and the episode numbers. I would let them know. Yeah. I would let them know. People listening, like, look up. What's our next episode? Three to nine. Three to nine.

Find that mayor and just comment on their Instagram up next. Yes. Up next. Oh, yeah. Let her get a warning. A little warning. No, I'm not. No, no.

To comment. Comment on their Instagram. Let this be a warning. Probably not. And I just i need a white guy because you can't you can't keep giving these guys outrageous heat check scores if they're you know it looks like the food reviewer who gives like you know somalian food at 9.8 dude yeah so yeah. So I need a white guy. 329 is New York State Public Service Commission. So that's not an area code, so I'm going to have to go to the next number

numerically, which would be 207 or whatever's next. Okay. Fingers crossed for a white mayor. All right. Yeah, they have an incredible Mount Rushmore of fame. Oh, they have to, yeah. Nothing to joke about.

They have goats in every category. They have Bill Gates. He's the money goat. Money goat. Right? Money goat. Money goat. Is he the goat of money?

I mean, this is spanning history. I don't know what the- No, not spanning history, because that would be like Mansa Musa, or what's his name? Okay. Yeah, probably. Ken Jennings, the goat. Trivia goat. Trivia.

Jimi Hendrix. Guitar goat. Yeah. okay uh yeah ken jennings the goat trivia goat trivia uh jimmy hendrix guitar goat yeah um and then nate robinson kenny short dunk yeah no they weren't they are the loudest all right seattle you're done i don't have much that's that's one region that i just don't know enough about yeah yeah um let's uh get into the ad one ad this this week we're crushing uh i'm pissed what the fuck what you gonna do it yeah i want to hear you do it uh today's episode is brought to you by factor this new year you've got goals and factor is here to help you achieve each and every one of them. Get Factor and not only skip the trip to the grocery store, but skip the chopping, prepping, and cleaning up too. Factor's fresh and ever-frozen meals are ready in just two minutes, so all you have to do is heat and enjoy. No matter your lifestyle, Factor has the meals to help you live it to the fullest with keto, calorie-smart, vegan plus veggie, and protein plus meals on the menu each week.

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slash kb60 kb60 can use code kb60 to get 60 off your first box what the fuck use code kb60 at factor75.com slash kb60 to get 60 off your first box who's in charge of this i need we need to call him do we know who's in charge of this i want to call him right now know who's in charge of this i want to call him right now k60 k what i have a code code of a code and if you're listening it's my 30th birthday oh my god yeah 30th birthday happy one day sober what do you want i was gonna get your shoes what's that shoe you don't know probably probably weed you want weed i'll buy weed like cool way. I don't know, Tyler. I don't know. Don't get me a gift, Tyler. Use my money.

Give other people recommendations because I don't know weed. Let's get KB right. Let's get you right. I don't think I smoke loud J's. What? I think I just go to the smoke shop and ask for a pre-roll. That's what I do. I don't think that's good J.

That is not good J? Yeah, I don't i do i don't think that's good jay that is not good jay yeah i don't know i don't know lowercase j that's lowercase j with the tittle yeah shit um well since we did that ad and we've had that meeting uh to do better with ads you know no cussing do it straight through Stop trying to play hero ball. Do some improv. Squeeze some jokes in. I was kind of a dick in the meeting. I was just like, we were doing ads right. We were good.

They were funny. The subreddit posted us doing an ad from a long time ago. Did you see it? No. My God. Oh, my God. Here's us doing an ad. Okay. This is from episode this is from episode

I usually poop naked but sometimes I do want to keep my clothes on if it's bare bottom clothing oh good point that's the one exception and I can't, I don't know if I've ever, did I ever mention, like, this is one of the products that I actually use and like. So far, fine. But wearing it is, it's fine.

Yeah. But there's something about it that just, it separates it from other fabrics. They do things differently. They're found out on the principle that comfortable made to last. They don't break. They don't shatter. They don't shatter. They're a piece the principle that comfortable men don't wear shirts. They don't shatter. They're five-star rated shorts.

I remember the first time I put it on. I put it on lackadaisically. In a way, it was clumsy. The way I put it on was so clumsy. And it did not shatter into a quality horse. It's not a menswear. You can get the point. It was just three, me, Owen, Kyle talking all at once. Yeah, I get it.

Yeah. I get it. Last week. That's a career field. Like going through the ads is making sure they're fine. They're not good, not great. Just adequate. Like just the bare minimum. And then we were just shitting in their faces we

were shitting in their fucking face i feel so bad and they were so being they're trying to be so nice about it and they're like ha ha those ad reads a lot of you gotta maybe switch it up maybe not yeah maybe not a thousand swear words dude that my dad i had my dad spoke with me with that same tone when i was like being pretty crass on twitter before this job when i was still had like a professional job and my name my handle was just nick terrain he was like ah you're still using the full name on there huh kb doesn't uh but you're still doing you know our last name's pretty uncommon not many of us you're still doing it though and uh i did yeah yeah did your old job

ever find your twitter um no yes yes so on the last day so first off i i put on an entirely different facade oh yeah oh yeah i am the i'm never heard boring unfunniest i didn't do anything there was nothing to me i i was just so lame and dull and now i look back at it i was i lived life via the internet so i was like this is my life i don't have to like showcase a personality for these people and but on the last day they were like yeah like we knew about your twitter oh kathy i want to say her full name kathy knew i was just like oh because it wasn't because i was embarrassed they found my twitter i was embarrassed that i was such a different person in real life i was so lame yeah so lame dude i didn't like cuss at work or i wasn't like talking about i wasn't yucking it up with the

fellas i was just very very proper they they probably thought I was just like a pretty boring guy. I am, but like they probably thought I did not have any other side of me. I sat in a meeting. Yours found yours a meet your boss did. It wasn't immediately. I was into the, I was, you know, I was on like my second contract at work probably. And we sat down in the meeting. They're like, before we get started, I just want to let everybody know we have a celebrity

in the meeting. And they were like let's pull up his twitter look at his most recent tweet no and i'm like oh and my most my tweet at the time was uh it was the same formula i do of just like my girl cheating on me but it was with a picture and it was there was a meeting that had like they're projecting the the computer screen they pulled it up and it was this involve a penis yeah it was like uh my girl in the bathtub sent me a snapchat of just like and i was like my girl needed some alone time so i bought her a hotel for the weekend it was her sending me a snapchat in the bathtub showing her legs but there was like a guy's shadow with like a giant fucking cock in the background, just like standing.

But you couldn't see the giant cock. You couldn't see the shadow on the projector screen. So like, why this one get so many likes? And I was just like, I think because like she's too hot for me. So they didn't understand why it went like viral. But I dodged a bullet because I probably I was working at Ohio State. But like for a program, it was an odd job. but I probably would have gotten in a little bit of trouble. But that was the one they found.

Last week, we roasted quadriplegics. Yeah. Yeah. We had some things to say. You do? We had some things to say. Yeah. This week, we promised as a penance we would roast

ourselves do you have i have stuff if you want i'm trying to think what's more embarrassing i did try you tried to roast yourself for a long time dude i said it not even biased couldn't do it was so hard i would i dude the whole time i was like i wish i'm mook i wish i was moving the whole time i was just like god damn i was looking at mook he was typing like that scene from bruce almighty just like i was going in today i was in a breakout room just sweating yeah dude um you printed front and back

and it's still got a stack. Yeah. But I have some some jokes at my own expense. I can go into here. Wasn't as hard as it wasn't. It wasn't hard, but the quadriplegic one was way easier. They can't walk. Rudy, you want to take your mask off?

I might in a minute.'s really it's too into character you forget quick all right so this is a roast of nick terrani nick why do you even try to be as funny as kyle he's got lines and jokes for days he's got genius bars and you just look like you work at the genius bar. Classic Nick only got jokes about Apple. iPod touch is a pickup line you use at the bar, you creepy fuck. Your apartment has no windows, poor ass. And I'll say it right now.

You ain't it. You I.T. Come reset my router, bitch. You think you're way smarter than you are. Bro, you're completely enamored with a children's cartoon. You barely graduated WVU. Ninety eight percent acceptance rate. You're all bent out of shape, knowing you could never get into Harvard, Yale, Brown, your Ivy sore.

You ran out of stories to tell years ago, hardly got nine tales. Now you just talk about plans for the podcast on the podcast. Metapod. You think you're some eccentric weirdo? You're oddish, I guess. Pretty formulaic when it comes to writing. You got one joke, not two, maybe. Not two's a Pokemon.

Oh, fuck. Okay, okay. Couldn't get laid if you fell into a horsey. Oh, no. You try to be quicker-witted than Kyle. You're slow, King, always repeating his punchline. If you're lucky, you'll say it at the same time, Jinx. KB, you were thinking hitch...

KB, what were you thinking hitching your wagon to this dude go goat nick pretends to be busy when in reality he sleeps until 10 30 every day when's the last time you've seen the sunrise you ain't no dawn fan work out for once you pronounce got like gut project much cut back on the beers my boy gulping and grubbing all weekend all right enough of that game freak nick your fucking body dude what is happening ironic squat is the amount of exercise you do your swastika tattoo is somehow the least offensive part of looking at your legs 34 waist and 4 inch ankles Boy Don't worry about getting

Don't worry about getting bitches Worry about getting britches The only time people are happy to see you with shorts Is when you're at the bar with Kyle Your torso can't be in the dictionary No definition Your arm Your arm tattoos look like a uniform shirt your torso can't be in the dictionary no definition your arm your arm tattoos look like a uniform shirt on the last day of school

your shittily tattooed arms look like book fair pencils you get mad and try to punch a wall but your arm goes right into the outlet it's the only time you'll be the plug bethany hamilton i'm getting like hyped up yeah get them if bethany hamilton's bull shark bit your arm off he'd look like razor ramon chewing on that toothpick that's all that's all like that it's insane shout out brawley dude big shout out probably thanks for making me do that that was humbling that was it seemed like like kind of like real to you dude i this is my second i enjoyed it this is my second edit my first one it was just like mean not a joke it wasn't any jokes i was just like just being horribly mean to myself okay i i can do this easily for me for myself. I can do this easily. For me? For myself.

Yeah, I can do it. Not now, but. Yeah. Yeah. Eventually. Yeah. There's a lot. Yeah.

I've been, I've been devolving, regressing. Dude. In what way? Socially. Yeah. Yeah. I've realized I had to like take a break. I was listening to music walking around

And my music is just like Drop tuned out of tune Guitar with like grown men Barking that's what I listen to now You do yeah And that's like that's that's like It's just like what I listen to And like I was I like I'll pull up

My most recent song I was listening to and it's going to be like A guy barking How do you even get to that I don't know dude Like I was like, I'll pull up my most recent song I was listening to and it's going to be like a guy barking. How do you even get to that? I don't know, dude. And then it's just like guys barking and the fucking album cover is a dog barking. That's the music fan equivalent of like doing this shit sexually. Like that. I just don't get it.

No, I get the sex thing because I get like fetishizing and whatever. But the listening to like people bark and it's awesome it's better you know what noise is like the genre of music i know is it like shoegaze it is exactly it's just noise like it's like things breaking i used uh in malfunction like like technology malfunctioning oh no i used to like shoegaze is like instruments but it's just like you look at your feet when you listen to it is what you're supposed to do you go to like live shows and look at your feet oh yeah there's this band in columbus called the bridesmaids and they were just two drummers and two bassists two drummers no so what yeah what is that what does that sound like you would you would go to

shows like that too yeah yeah i would always try to catch the bridesmaids when you see videos when i do it's people like uh awkwardly but aggressively trying to like brawl you know what i'm saying like yeah whatever it's called but they do it weirdly like unathletically so those are hardcore shows and a lot of hardcore people are straight edge. And so you can tell they're sober. You could tell they're sober and they're always they can get concerts. That's why they're always in weird concert venues, because if you're not having alcohol, you can have shows anywhere. Yeah, that's why they're in fucking Denny's.

I remember like random rural towns in Ohio would just have them at their house. It's always like houses. Yeah. Jewish American centers always throw them. OK. Very odd. houses yeah jewish american centers always throw them um okay very odd and it's just like you just need uh any sort of anywhere you'd have a bar mitzvah or quinceanera they like there's also hardcore shows bar mitzvah or what a quinceanera okay yeah we got to call the person who did promo

code kb who who is that do we know no idea no clue oh. Call Jay to get to that line. Yeah, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. We got to call. We'll figure it out. I'd rather be sponsored by. I don't know.

We need to code Nick ASAP. We were supposed to have weapon week last week. I lost my blade. Okay. So I feel like I. In the back of a homeless man. now i'm just the guy who brought a suitcase with a gun in it that's a big ass i didn't even notice the suitcase dude wait i love the brand of your suitcase yeah what brand's your suitcase fuck it's the lucas it's just the brand

is lucas lucas it's cartoonishly big it's so so big. It's the world's biggest suitcase. Yeah. I was like nervous taking it into work. Why? Because it has a gun. It has a gun. It looks, well, the gun thing was a fiasco. I got the airsoft gun. It was like $500, wasn't it? They sent me a bootleg one.

A bootleg airsoft gun? All the parts are not what they show on the manual. Now, you know I can't read a manual or follow a manual right this is true like this just gun doesn't work it doesn't have the compartments that that shows on the let me see the gun okay wait did you have to assemble it the fuck he's cracking open the lucas I wish we had another suitcase to compare this to because it is seeing that thing topple down the it is impossible to

those are fly so you had tactical gear camo tactical gear and a gun I haven't used this in a while just have cash do you still have raspberries in there what do you get raspberries on the gun four stray kratom miles from my creative day god when i was on the road just fucking addicted to kratom

are they up to your full bizarre looking look so bizarre looking. I got a Graham and the Lucas. I've got to get seven years. Yeah. The gun. What the fuck was that? Oh, shit. Holy shit, dude. That's pretty cool.

We've got to get the Punisher logo on that thing. There's nothing in there, right in there dude that is 100% a real working airsoft gun nope nope why i don't want to do this on the show but i kind of want to see if you can figure out the man the manual okay okay that's where you put the ammo where the top right there dude there's like a hole for airsoft pellets the top right there you have to put your money where your mouth is. Load that. Do you have a loader? What do you mean a loader?

Shouldn't you get a spring loader? Yeah, it should have came with a spring. What is that? Is that a very narrow silver rod? Yeah. I thought that was garbage. All right, look, I'm loading it. Pretty easily.

Well, it's battery powered, and i couldn't get to the batteries wait i'm loading it right now well we need the batteries i believe you can load it so you were you just couldn't figure out the manual all right how much was this yeah i put together um a lot and it's i guess it's whack in the airsoft community i don't know but um i have to figure out how to get the batteries and look i got i hate vague instructions like this read that so we got to get that we got to get that thing opened you got to get we got to get the to get the batteries in place okay and while you're doing that housekeeping

okay 81 days sober head is clear is it it's because of the methylene might be that but i've done a lot of changes i stopped drinking i was drinking five hour energies like every day okay stop replaced it with coffee i don't know if those those are bad for you, but they can't be that great. No way. If you look at the nutritional label, there's some items that are like 20,000% of your daily value. Don't know if that's good or bad, but I'm off that. I'm on crosswords. Oh, yeah.

Bagged to Saturday. Bagged to Saturday. Then I two boxed to Sunday, but then get this. I bungled a Monday. Ass backwards. Did you bungle this Monday? This Monday. I had to check. Upper right quadrant. But I got a Saturday. I was so pumped. What's a bungle? You messed up.

It's when you get several boxes wrong. Two boxes Sunday. Tyler is utterly terrified. He's like a CNN reporter. Yeah, dude, you're like a rap cameraman. Most dangerous job in America. You're like pointing it directly at us, swinging it around. I don't know if it's loaded and about to work or not.

I had a real gun to my head this weekend, and this is scaring me more. Oh, yeah, that was fucked up. Say what? I had a gun pointed at my head this weekend. I saw that picture. It was a girl. Yes. Yeah, what the fuck? You had a girl pointing an actual gun at your head. My saw that picture. It was a girl. Yes. Yeah, what the fuck?

You had a girl pointing an actual gun at your head. My southern queen. You sent the picture to us. Nick responded in a manner that suggested that you did something good. I didn't know if that's what you were saying. Or that I was being held hostage. You posted a picture with a girl pointing a gun at your head. But that was it.

Yeah, that was it. Where was this? Was it at her place? Yeah, we were hanging out post-show happened just my texas christian queen she had a revolver and i was like don't let's play with don't are you lying no we'll lie don't admit that don't admit what you went over nothing happened oh yeah i'm a humble king it's part of my brag. Is that humility at work? Is that humility at work? It's part of my rose. Okay. Okay.

Yeah. But yeah, she had a revolver and I was like, let's, let's play with that thing. Wait. So she put it right to your fucking temple. There was nothing in there, but yeah. I don't think you do that. Tyler's afraid of this. Dude, I can get this.

You can't though. Cause the tabs that it shows the tabs with the red arrow, it doesn't exist. It's not on that gun. But everything else adds up. It has to. You think you got a bootleg. The batteries go right in there, dude. Show me.

I'm going to. The tabs are on the inside. I think you just pull it. Push tabs. You can't do it. I think you just pull it. Push tabs. You can't do it. It's a display case gun. It doesn't, it does not work.

Yeah, it does. Yes, it, dude, I could see the wires. You know, you can't wear.

I could see them in that hole. See, this is, yeah, this is, you're not getting it. I am going to get it. Incredible.

Oh, wait. Keep talking. Keep talking. this is you're not getting it i am gonna get it incredible oh wait keep talking keep talking um what else still on the true crime kick but it's not affecting my life is my do you just don't you guys know i was gonna say you don't i was worrying about the impact and significance of my like put-ons because i forced my girlfriend to watch it with me everyone and i thought she was bored with it no she woke me up she said i just had a dream where i was getting stabbed to death she said it was the worst thing ever and like not even because it was uh even despite the fact that it was just a dream she's she lives in fear and i have a dual-sided

axe in my apartment too that uh she wants me to get rid of because all of the cases are people you know uh murdering their significant other yeah and the two-sided those are the people who murder yeah okay where are the tabs where are the tabs kb held that uh 50 pound tongues to make you feel oh no no words can't describe it words can't describe it's one of the few things where that's an accurate statement words can't describe it yeah it's like a full plate it's a 45 pound plate pretty much in that small area it changes the way that you interpret the physical like world we live in there are no tabs on this thing dude right and then and then whatever the thing is this is that's not what

it says it doesn't have any of the pieces on it doesn't have that roller at the bottom sounds like a job for a 3d printer wait yeah shit dude i'm still stuck on building that i bet you i can shoot this thing right now that sounded pretty legit cock it yeah dude you might have got got yeah getting got on a fake airsoft gun is

immensely belittling that is so embarrassing there's so many pieces all right cut what the fuck are you doing not like this what not like this. What? Cut. Not like this. What not like this? What?

You goofing. You goofing, boy. Yeah, you goofing. This is being a director. I mean, what are you going to do with this now? Are you going to return it? What are you doing out there? What the fuck are we doing?

What are we talking about? What are you doing right now? He's cosplaying as a director talking to an actor. Oh, yeah. I'm no actor. So you got banned from Twitch. did get banned yeah how does that work if you get banned again i think uh yeah how does that work i don't know i assume it's similar to like sports where if you accrue multiple bands then they get more severe and then inevitably you make it a permanent band but you showed titty

accidentally i showed titty uh porn star boobie. It's a nice boob. But yeah, I was watching a reality show, and it was on Spike TV in 2003. And there's a Touch the Hooker challenge was one of the challenges. That's not hard. Challenge? Yeah, no. Well, yeah, the show is entirely fake, except for one person thinks it's real. And there's all actors on it.

And it's incredibly funny. Oh, that's fucking insane. It's insane. Anyway, so someone edited it for YouTube and I watched that one. The next one, I couldn't find an edited version, threw it on and then I went pee and they did a recap of the Touch Sugar Challenge. Boo was out there. So I got a three day ban. Well, yeah, you deserve that, Ben. Yeah. No. So it was all good though you're back i'm back um we're streaming tonight we are streaming uh yesterday yesterday now yeah you're right so excited to get back in azeroth hell yeah we got to get back it's a get right game i would say because last time we were we were lost yeah chickens with our heads cut off mooks riding dragons to a different continent that was

the uh dude we tried to do a super cut of like the best stuff and it just there wasn't anything yeah so uh but i do another amazon review if you guys want to hear it yeah i would like that um kyle how much was that gun uh 230 i've been spending my money on um oh fuck uh i've been buying shit i bought did you guys have you guys gotten the instagram ad for the 7-eleven uh croc slides oh i bought that they were the sickest things i hate crocs i do too you got the 7-eleven crocs no way they were the coolest 70 bucks i'm wearing my house i didn't they didn't come in yet oh god damn it dude i've no way yeah you bought them instantly i was like this is the coolest thing ever and like no one's gonna expect this i bought the 7-eleven crocs oh that fucking sucks they're

so cool oh yeah these are pretty sick yes i have them there's god damn it dude that ruins you can't have two guys let alone on the same show have the same 7-eleven crocs oh that pisses me off feel oh fuck no way you actually bought them. Yes. Give me the receipt. God damn it. Motherfuck. I mean, someone's going to have to be the guy. You got to make a choice. I've been thinking... You can't have both.

Whoever comes with the best matching fit can have both crosses. This is insane. Whoever can piece together the best outfit. That's how you have to do it. When are you getting in? I want to see. can have both crops yeah this is insane whoever can piece together the best outfit god damn that's how you have to do it yeah next when when are you when you're getting in i want to see next week whoever pieces together the meanest fit can pull it off with the 7-eleven here's something that i won't be pairing i also uh josh richards wears this hat that's like the cincinnati reds but it's

the charizard stitched in and it's like the sea makes like the fire blast right off the bat you can't rock that so don't i hope you didn't buy the same one or a worse it's it's more uh so it's this company called like juice x boys and uh that was my first i ignored that at first um and they were like selling fast because they sell out really fast. Hats are like 75 bucks. I got an email that they had hats in stock. Sold out, sold out, sold out. I snatched one. I can't pull it off. I'm worried for which one it is.

No, I mean, I don't even see what the. Oh, no. It's too busy. It's too bright for you. Yeah, I know. I don't know what the fuck to do with this mook you want it rudy you want it i'm all set thank you that's good on that one 70 bucks it's cool in a sense you want it no i don't know what the fuck to do i can't wear this

it's a lot going on so yeah there's this the 7-eleven of crocs i've been buying german pokemon cards because uh i bet i'm i don't even know how much money I'm spending because I don't understand the currency. But I it says I just put it in my cart. I I bought there's a there's a seahorse one called Seaking. But in German, he's called Seamon. Bought that. Bought the case. And then I bought a lick a tongue in German. And Lickitung in

German is Schlerp. That's good. That's cool. That's an investment. Better than this? I feel like such a fucking idiot. Tyler, you want this? He's not going to rock that now. Rudy, you could at least have it.

Because it makes sense for you to own. Why? Come on. You look cool. Yeah, that's a rudy hat yeah you look cool i don't think i do yeah you do you should just run away from home and get into sex slavery you fucking bitch yeah yeah you little slut yeah i hate that's what the this the rick and morty guy said to the little girl. Oh my god dude yeah. Oh why are you such jailbait? Why can't you be 10 years older? Weirdo. I mean this is not a

defense like the fact he wasn't even doing well. No he wasn't even good with the 15 year old. He was like never mind his game was bad his jokes were bad but like he was getting like tiny responses and he was like never mind his game was bad his jokes were bad but like he was getting like tiny responses and he was

double texting he was double texting oh boy what did he say is it cool being a jailbait is it cool being a jailbait is that a noun or I don't know what a weirdo like Rick and Morty was the most popular

thing in the world at this time yeah you have to have biblically bad game yeah the. Like Rick and Morty was the most popular thing in the world at this time. Yeah. You have to have biblically bad game. Yeah. The creator of Rick and Morty and not impress a teenager. You look good. You do look good in that. Yeah.

Thanks. Does the FBI follow you around arresting all the men you sleep with? So he's like, he's already like taking on the insecure boyfriend role already. You're probably. And how old is he? All these other men are fucking you probably, huh? He's in his 40s. Maybe I will. I want to meet you in real life, JLB.

So I can't help you not be a homo. What? That's when he was Atlanta drunk. Okay, that makes sense. Okay, I'll give him a pass there. Wait, you understand Atlanta drunk? I think, yeah. Have you ever been Atlanta drunk. Okay, that makes sense. Okay, I'll give him a pass there. Wait, you understand Atlanta drunk? I think I, yeah. Have you ever been Atlanta drunk? Yes.

Yes. Where? When I got kicked out of Guacamoles. That's how they pronounced it. Guacamoles. Yeah. That's gotta be in Canada. I went to the back and stole from like a Pepsi from the, from the freezer. The fridge. That's Atlanta drunk. And I got kicked out of Water stole from like a pepsi from the um from the freezer that that is a fridge the fridge that's

atlanta drunk and i got kicked out of water street for taking like the bartender's apple you were in wait the bartender's apple that he had an apple on his like i went into the bar took the apple to do my arm tricks oh yeah yeah any apple you grab that's the first thing you do you're a party trick guy apple trick apple trick you You pop it off the pop it off the arm. Yeah. Sorry. At the airport. It's insane in the membrane.

Oh, what time is it there now? Oh, oh, so, so right here. So I'm so right. And me, so Chinese. What? That's what you went with. He was code switching via text she said 11 37 that's the time one was and he that was it he said oh oh so so so rate it's so rate and me so chinese

um oh my god and then she just responded i have school tomorrow. Oh no! This guy, yeah. And he's like, oh, school tomorrow? Oh no! And then she was like, FML. And he said, you should just run away from home and go into sex slavery, you fucking stupid bitch. Oh my god. Just kidding. That's bad.

Oh my god. Yeah, the Rick and Morty account tweeted that they cut Ties with him I don't even know if cut ties is enough Also Rick and Morty aren't real people Anyone who Yeah alright Let's look up his net worth

Cause he doesn't It's the saddest 4 million I bet you it's more than that it's gotta be more dude there's 22 million it's gotta be way more dude I go into the smoke shop and there's still like Rick and Morty bongs

oh it's everywhere H&M has Rick and Morty socks I get ads for those yeah it oh god that was H&M has Rick and Morty socks. I get ads for those. Yeah. Oh, God. That was. Of course, though, he's like that.

He made Rick and Morty. Yeah. Yeah. That's horrifying. I bombed at the stand last Friday. Took my parents there for my birthday. You bombed as a guest? Yeah, I bombed in the stand last Friday. Took my parents there for my birthday. You bombed as a guest? Yeah, I bombed in the audience again.

Again? There was no mistaking it. I felt like a pit in my stomach. Terrible. Because of how poorly I did. Walk us through it. Why? Dude, I don't think... Mook, would you notice somebody being a bad member of the audience?

I wouldn't notice KB tripping out. but you notice the people that aren't with it. There was a couple. Fuck. It was excruciating from both ends because the crowd, they were all tourists. They didn't have a sense of humor, but some of the guys weren't funny. That's a way to put it. They weren't even saying jokes necessarily what were they doing they were just they kept they were they were just they were reaming us out

every set and once the first guy went and sucked he just started blaming the crowd he was like you guys what are you guys all white what are you guys calling us like gay and autistic like you know like the forced edge but with no punch line. Yeah. Just like, he would be like, so I had a Tinder date. So I had a hinge date the other day or something like that. One of you guys fucking worst crowd ever. What did it fucking, what do you guys don't fuck?

You guys don't get pussy. Wait, that's a good ass set. Dude, that's, I might just steal that for what I do. He sat down and she was like, um, so what appetizers should we get?

And I was like, appetizers? Plural? On top of the meal? She was like, yeah, what appetizers should we get? And I was like, let me put it this way. What orifices am I fucking you on top of the pussy if you're going to get appetizers plural?

That's not what he said, it was a long time and he called us all retarded for not laughing and then you could tell he left and he could tell he told all of the other comics like hey these are this is the worst crowd ever and then they all went in like just wanting to fight us dude why was your delivery like that of a mob boss i gotta work on my i think that joke is good i went on a hinge date the other day yeah do it do it do it you as if you were the comic do i'm single what you got no no one shocked okay That's how it's going to be. That's how it's going to be. So we're on this hinge date. You know, my standards are whatever. Right?

I think she hired a freelance model for her pictures because that wasn't who it was. All right. Anyway, we sit down. She opens the menu and she's like, she says, here's what she says to me. This is dead serious. I'm thinking I'm looking at the, you know, I'm looking at the chicken tenders. I'm like, that sounds good. She looks at me and says, what appetizers should we get?

I said, appetizers? Plural? Let me ask you this. What orifices am I fucking you in after this? On top of the meal? No, on top of the pussy? See, it's not good. It's it's not it's an incredible bit it just needs to be delivered right you think so that's what that's what he said and then it was it was bad uh but did your parents laugh no no one was laughing

yeah not even a pity laugh people then people started like screaming. Then one guy got really upset, like mad. And one guy in the crowd got mad about sesame chicken. He did this to the gladiator. Yeah, like Caesar. Yeah. God, God. I'm surprised your dad didn't chirp. I warned them.

I was like, do not say a thing. Do not say a thing. How were your, but your parents overall? Some of them were good it's just like no one was laughing and then you feel like even if you thought something was funny you feel awkward you like you don't want to be the guy laughing out loud and then you're like i'm self-conscious about how i laugh so it was just it was bad yeah that's why it's key to have like someone up top that's gonna do well or having one yeah you could tell you need the yeah that's like one audience member that's like has an infectious laugh can carry the entire

room exactly yeah i couldn't i don't know how you guys deal with like nights like that yeah you want to kill yourself i guess i would i would get pissed at the crowd too i guess but yeah but doing that it's so lame just to be like you guys fucking suck like i do that when i'm bombing my dick off that's what i'm going to do on uh owen's show but it so lame just to be like, you guys fucking suck. Like, I do that when I'm bombing my dick off. That's what I'm going to do on Owen's show, but it's just going to be all my co-workers and friends. Fuck you guys. You wouldn't know comedy. Yeah, I'm going to.

Oh, boy. Mook's taking me to an open mic Monday. Monday night. Oh, really? I don't have any jokes yet, though. You'll be fine. You'll be great. Just talk. It's the open mic I'm taking you to is like

an aa meeting with booze type of situation like super laid back so a meeting small room yeah yeah okay we're gonna get you comfy all right i'm gonna try i'm just gonna have to be really fucked up for the for the real one oh yeah fair yeah yeah that's i just gotta think of some jokes how are you gonna deal with i always am curious how people deal with the mic stand uh i'm gonna throw it in the crowd okay good call yeah that's pretty cool that's a good move yeah i i went to a comedy show this weekend too actually and i saw uh i guess you could define it define it as a uh an audience member bricking and at one point one of the comedians

is like is anyone in here german and there was a whole table of germans right next to me and this german guy couldn't have been more excited he just shoots his hand up and they're all his friends are pointing they're like german guy here german guy here and he's like you know avida zing or whatever the fuck germans say and he's like he's like waving his hand because of the house lights the the comedian is literally like begging for a german because he probably had some punchline but the hit rate of getting a natural born german can't be high at a comedy show in new york it might be a little higher but you're right that's what i was like what an odd thing to like base a joke what's like the smallest populated country

that i could ask for um vatican city anybody from vatican city did act like you really discouraged like fuck well what there goes all right what did you have prepared yeah we're gonna have to freestyle you know nobody from vatican there's just like a cardinal in the audience oh fuck anyone from luxembourg in here no yeah and he just kept looking and the guy was just like really giving his arm up there and he was like looking right at him because the house lights he couldn't and then he had to be like okay and just turn the other way and the german dude just like fucking deflated that sucks but uh he probably wouldn't want it yeah can you are there people that are born in vatican city there's no way those guys can't fuck uh adult women there was a i saw i don't know if you guys saw the story but there was a monk who just died that lived in a monastery in italy and he was adopted and they like dropped him off there

and they don't allow women in this monastery so he went his whole life and the whole story in the newspaper was that this man went his entire life without seeing one i saw that that's how long did he live 70s didn't see a single woman or speak to a single woman his entire life. Bitchless. Vatican City, no hospitals. No hospitals. And they really do it. This is no joke. They don't look. There's

no internet. They don't look at anything. No. So like, do you think he's still like beat off? I don't know no I don't think the monks aren't

like when he's a teen the monks are the realest of the real but like when he's a teen growing up I don't think because he has no conception of even

what to be off to yeah I've been horny enough as a teen to like renounce God for a little bit yeah but you know what a hot woman

looks like he can't even you know what I mean like he sees a tree that has like a root that looks like tits he doesn't that doesn't he wouldn't even know yeah holy shit it's not just sexual like he doesn't do anything that would like you know boost one our dopamine like they don't they sit in the dark they pray all day they don't nothing so they're standard waste of a life they can't wait they're so he's probably he's probably about to die they're so hype yeah that would be yeah i wonder if anyone gets too excited for death and then they fuck up and live no they fuck up and they get like oh i got too excited now i'm

living longer and he's like the excitement was good dude i'm about to die like i'm about to finally experience pleasure euphoriaphoria all of these good things that i sacrificed myself from for 70 years and i'm about to die then he just gets hard as fuck so then he just fucking yeah and then he jacks off yeah straight to hell yeah so you think this guy seconds away from death will have the energy to jack off when i when i sin it's when i'm at my happiest that's when sins are the most tempting or your lowest sense i don't think you're ever feeling in the middle and you sin yeah i don't know well what's what's the last what's the last sin you've done is lying yeah i lie yeah yeah lies a lot um who do you lie to um you guys everyone it is yeah we gotta get that gun working it doesn't matter it doesn't have the tabs that's unbelievable yeah

it's bootleg sorry man oh man uh you guys got anything else i have my uh roast oh roast oh yeah want this is this gonna have like intermission or how long no it's like it's better be it's a trilogy one or two minutes that's the cockiest thing you've ever done yeah i've only made fun of myself for two minutes my hair yep that's it yeah whenever i go to my barber he asked me if i want to shave it off or if i want the megan rapinoe again no my hair is so red whenever i go down on girls they think the kool-aid man broke into their apartment just kidding i never go down on girls, they think the Kool-Aid man broke into their apartment. Just kidding.

I never go down on girls. When chicks see me coming, they start playing a zone defense. The friend zone. They started calling me buddy healed because that defense so good. I'm only hitting 30% of my threes. My skin is so white. When I walk into a dimly lit room, I start glowing in the dark and everyone calls me nightlight. I'm so white.

My worst enemy is the sun and privilege skin cancer will kill me but a cop definitely won't i played jv football in high school as a four foot eleven 125 pound freshman i never had a chance coaches for 411 that's pretty you couldn't help you you alerted that out i was about 80 pounds for 85. Yeah, go on. I was thick. Dude, you genuinely were just like fat. Yeah, he knows, dude. Yeah, that was like Tourette's girl. What the fuck? You could not help yourself with that.

You're bald. Hit me. Yeah, yeah. I wish you could replay that right now. That was better than anything I wrote so far. Coaches said I could have been good if I practiced more. It's a shame that I don't play now because my teeth are always running slants. They're practicing all the time.

November 9th, 2005. South Park released an episode called Gingers Have No Souls. The same day I started planning a school shooting. Ron Weasley without the magic. Carl Weasler without the brains. Transitioning Ed Sheeran. Prince Harry, try Princess Fiona Ian from Shameless

I'm shocked Tim Dillon didn't poach me even my mom celebrates kick a ginger day oh goodness gracious that was that was it let's go it was all right that was pretty good

good that's pretty good the fat line was the best one though but like he just meant it he just meant it for that for i have some fat that's the funniest thing i didn't go through puberty until like college what yeah dude i graduated i came into high school four foot eleven graduated high school like five four and then i shot up to like five nine9 ish maybe 5'10 that was probably can you grow like a mustache uh it's getting there yeah i see it it's common i just will it be red my beard's red it's like

half and half yeah yeah pubes are red for sure yeah yeah that's gotta be weird looking definitely yeah for sure i live with an indian man now and i'm like afraid to shave my pubes because i'm like i don't want him seeing a red hair it might bug him out do you live yeah oh my god yeah how's that going it's going well he's my boy he always says what's up beast to me every time i walk into the apartment oh he's he knows who you like he's hip to you? Yeah. He's found me. He's found you. Yeah. He's the boy, though. Do you have a big red bush? I don't think it's that...

I think it's less gross than a dark one. You think so? Yeah. Looking like ice spice. What is that? You don't know about ice spice? I know Danny Conrad fucked her a couple years ago before she was famous. Yeah, I did.

Yeah. In Chicago, the Chicago office, Danny Conrad fucked ice a couple years ago before she was famous. Yeah, in Chicago, the Chicago office, Danny Conrad fucked Ice Spice. She has red curly hair. This is Ice Spice. I didn't know that was red. Oh, yeah, it's completely red. I never noticed.

And I saw her get fucked in the ass. From behind. From behind? Yeah. Who? Did she have a sex tape? Yeah, I just looked up. I wanted to know who Ice Spice was.

I looked up on Reddit. I thought she was a rapper. She did get fucked. Yeah. On camera? Yes. Rumor that's Drake's kid's real mom. Really?

Yeah. I can't believe that. But she was underage at the time, so they had to say it was stripper. Little internet. That's the truth. Deep dive. Yeah. Looks a lot like adonis

holy shit what's happening take a little deep dive tonight uh maresh went to that drake show that was at the apollo that everybody's trying to get like oh yeah dude just fell out of the balcony during yeah what yeah he fell out of the like right on his fucking head is he okay over the how did that happen he was excited for 21 yeah yeah he fell out of the balcony yeah i'm trying to like when landed how on his head on his head yeah is there a video of the guy falling? There's a video of him? Someone else did? Yeah.

Two people did? No, one person fell. Oh, you said, is there a video of the guy falling? Yeah. Oh, because it implied there was a girl that fell as well? No, because you said Maresh fell. No, what? It wasn't Maresh.

Oh, somebody, some random guy. I thought you said he fell on his head't know what it wasn't maresh oh somebody some random guy funny i've been so funny i didn't know you could fall on your head from an elevated space tickets to my brown fall oh i do have a dickhead of the week. Oh, shit. Can I guess? I did minimal research. Okay. Can I guess? Yeah, you're not going to guess. Oh, you probably, yeah.

What? Relor? No. God damn it. I'll read you some of the discourse, the controversial discourse on Twitter about this Pokemon. Yeah, all right. Y'all gotta be careful when hating on blank.

Like, babe, your homophobia is showing. Is it just me or is most blank hate-coded homophobia? The Pokemon community really showing their homophobia and transphobia when they say they don't like blank because it's too gay. Yeah, it's the final evolution of Quaxley. It's a what's it called? It's Quack-Quaval. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, it is gay. And I don't look up the evolution. And that's not what I dislike about it. I took Quaxley in the newest game and he's this cool duck. He does have some hints that he may, what he may turn into his hands on his little wings on his hip. It's a nightmare, the design, the body, the proportions. And the fact that that's the standard design scrutiny is like people are evading coping with that by calling it out, calling you out for transphobia and homophobia. Yes, it's gay.

It has fingered toes, which is disgusting. Flared pants. And that's fine. I'm fine with that in the Pokemon community. I don't even I'm not even against that. But it's it's only move is to just dance horribly yeah it does like a spanish dance yeah and it has a big ass yeah that is a pixar mom ass and yeah that's it yeah it's it's it is uh i took that one and when i'm doing research when i play

pokemon for the first time i don't look at any of the evolutions or how to do it um i don't i just don't i think it's gay for the sense the sake of being gay but nothing else to it it's like it's it has an evolution chain centered around ducks but it's also part peacock i guess towards the end yeah but it was like a grease the middle evolution was like a greaser had a big old pompadour it was always fixing its hair oh it was a bummer for sure, but I don't like any of the final evolutions of the starters in the new game. I don't know who I'm talking to anymore.

I just found a, yeah, you are right, KB, the homophobia. Gay duck. What? Gay duck, gay duck. It just says gay duck, gay duck. Granted, there is some real homophobia about it, but it sucks. it sucks. It sucks.

I just don't... I don't need... I don't want Pokemon to be straight or gay. I'm fine with a gay Pokemon. I think there should be. I don't... That has nothing to it. It's just a big ass dancing.

It just dances and it dances poorly. No, it doesn't dance poorly. Yes, it does. What are you doing? Oh, boy.'t dance poorly. Yes, it does. What are you doing? Oh, boy. It does it way better than that. You look like Jack Sparrow right there. Yeah, you did.

Yeah, you did. Get there. Dude, you are firing on all cylinders as of late. The methylene works for you. Yeah, I begged a, two bucks to... I bagged a Saturday, two bucks to Sunday. Yeah, right. It is, something's working.

Yeah. I was digging... I'm bored and I just want a drink. Yeah, dude. I don't think you... Nah, I don't want to sway you one way or the other you could do what you want you could probably read that a little bit do you think you could just get to a level where you could drink and get a buzz

no no no that's not the type of alcoholism i i can like take days off but what i can't do is just get buzzed why i it's just that's what it is what happens you get buzzed and you just want to drink more and you want to get i want to maintain that buzz it's it's just it's like a this deep-seated fear of losing the good thing that i feel so you keep drinking and the drunker you get the the less guilty you feel about it yeah and this dumber you get. So you just keep doing it, even though you're already at this level of drunk that you can't feel any better than it,

but you keep drinking. I've only seen you a menace twice. That was the worst part, is I didn't really turn into a menace. I've seen you a menace twice. I thought because I kept my shit. Yeah, I've seen you be a menace once. What'd I do?

Central Park Nutcrackers. Was I wearing a backwards hat? Yeah. Okay. You were wearing a backwards... Why? I just wanted to know. I wanted to picture it.

Yeah, you were. It was in Central Park. Nutcrackers. I had to carry you out of Central Park. You didn't carry me. That wasn't even that drunk. It was a military carry. I remember.

You had an arm over the shoulder. I remember that. But that's the only time I think you were even nearing menace. Exactly. That was the worst part. Because I could keep my shit together, be completely normal, come across as so... But you had a menace phase. When?

Never when I was friends with you, but I'm sure you did. Yeah, that was just part of like growing up with and going to college with wrestlers like. Well, your window to drink in college is like that big. Yeah, I think wrestling is this like so bad for you on so many levels. Well, yeah, because like you miss how do you miss like what St. Patrick's Day, Halloween, like all the big all the fun ones. Mm hmm. I'll get back to it it don't if you don't want to i do because i it's like i'm not i'm not interacting with humans and i need to do that you you you've been fine okay you're overthinking yeah you've been doing you've been you've been you've been jolly yeah you have talkative yeah on here yeah i'm doing my job

yeah shit i guess that's it have you seen me jolly outside of this i'm not at all yeah i'm just avoiding uh you are jolly when we play world of warcraft you are jolly yeah do you like it like i liked the second time i didn't really like the last time we played it was yeah that was on mook it's on me no one yeah no it's bad sesh that's that's why the game you have to be obsessed with it in order to play it you can't just play it casually because you want to keep going okay all right that was a new untold story. See you next week. Warren the mayor.

Up next. I don't even, I don't know who's up next, but yeah, they'll figure it out. Yeah.