Absolute Motivation - some things have to end for better things to begin…one bad chapter doesn’t mean the story is over

Episode Date: August 4, 2025

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Let's say you're miserable and unhappy. Okay, here's a cure. Find what's valuable and let it go. And you're suffering terribly because of it. Well, what do you do? Maybe you let it go. It's a sacrifice. And the idea is that, well, that'll clear the future for you.

Well, very frequently when people are suffering terribly, not always. Because sometimes you just suffer stupidly, blindly, and without recourse. But sometimes the reason that you're suffering, is because you just won't let go of the thing that's biting you. That's not such a good idea. The funny thing too, often when people let something like that go, it goes away, sorts itself out, and then comes back. So they don't even end up losing it.

But unless they're willing to let it go to sacrifice it, they make no headway whatsoever. And so one of the rules is, if people are impeding your development, you sacrifice your relationship with you. At moments where I'm bone tired, bone tired. I have that clarity. And when you have the clarity and you know where you're trying to go, then it becomes clear about what you have to train at. What are the things you have to

train into yourself? But the only way to do that is to have a self-esteem that's built entirely around being the learner. Why? Because you get the shot to the head, the nugget of gold at your feet. It says you suck at this. That hurts, man. That's hard to own. It's hard to face. and there's a thousand voices in your mind telling you all the reasons why it's somebody else's fault and it's not your fault. But the reality is the moment you do that, you're giving away your power because you're not looking for a way to change. Remember, between where you are and where you want to go, it is a gap of skill set. Life is meant to be lived joyously.

It truly is, if you're doing and living a life that's not joyous and happy, something is wrong and you need to make a change, right? We're here on this planet for a finite amount of time, make it a good one. When my guru was dying, one of the last things he ever said was, what an amazing life, I would not have traded it for anything in the world. And I said to myself, what beautiful words to hear from a dying man. I would love to be able to say, in my last breath,

look back on my life and go, what an amazing life it was. And that was just, I couldn't do it again, even if I tried. That was just fantastic. In order to do that, we really need to know what we want. but we begin by understanding our mind and learning how to manage our energy and wisely invest our energy. So if you're starting a new chapter because you're excited and you're reinventing yourself, that's fabulous, still take time to complete the last chapter that you're in. So you step into the new chapter with all of the wisdom and the gratitude and the learning and the growth that you gained.

If you are starting a new chapter, as so many of us do, because we are right, running away from the old us, or running away from a bad relationship, closing the door on something that wasn't working. You better make sure you take the time to think through and journal about this last chapter, who you've been, the habits you no longer want to repeat,

the mistakes that you make, what you've learned, what you're running from, and more importantly, what changes you're going to make, and how this new chapter is going to support you in doing it, and in becoming the person that you're meant to be. Without that intentional moment of reflection and without that intentional moment where you're going to list out the behaviors

and thinking patterns and habits are changing, you're just going to take all that crap you're running from right into this new chapter. So what you have to start doing is realizing that the matter where you're at in life, no one's coming back to help me. So it starts with that person in that mirror. You have to realize you are on their own.

Now, and whatever else you believe in. I don't care what you believe in, but on earth, it's a very lonely journey. And it starts with the accountability. You're looking at and say, hey, all these things are coming back. I have to face myself. And you have to own all those things that people may have done to you. Now it's yours. You have to figure out ways to move forward because you're not coming back.

What determines your resources? We've said decision-shaped destiny, which is my focus here. If decisions shaped destiny, what determines it is three decisions. What are you going to focus on? Right now, you have to decide what you're going to focus on. In this second, consciously or unconsciously, the many you decide to focus on something, got to give it a meaning. And whatever that meaning is produces emotion.

Is this the end or the beginning? Or is this the role of the dice? And emotion then creates what we're going to do or the action. So think about your own life, the decisions that have shaped your destiny. And that sounds really heavy, but in the last five or ten years, 15 years, haven't there been some decisions you've made that have you made a difference? decision, your life would be completely different. But if you really want to become extraordinary,

you've got to separate your self-esteem from being wrong. You have to. Because otherwise, you're never going to see the opportunity to get better. And once that word yet is lingering out there, suddenly it becomes a question of time allocation. So you know you could get good at it, but it's going to take a lot of time and energy. So what are the skills you really want to get good at?

And that goes back to that clarity. What do I need to get good at? good at in order to accomplish the things that I want to accomplish. It does not need to be something that somebody else values. It needs to be the thing I have chosen to value that I have built into my life, this worship around getting good at that thing. And because I value myself for pursuing that, and I value myself for admitting when I'm wrong, and I value myself for staring nakedly at my inadequacies, every day I'm getting better.