Adeptus Ridiculous - ABHUMANS: YES, 40K CATGIRLS ARE IN THIS ONE | Warhammer 40k lore

Episode Date: March 16, 2022

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We're going to another episode of the Adeptus Ridiculous podcast. My name, as always is D.K. Diamante's. My host, my co-host, as always is Bricky. He has all of the crazy Warhammer knowledge that he's going to share with us in just a moment. But before he does, if you enjoy today's episode of the podcast, heading over to patreon.com slash adeptus ridiculous. And consider supporting us.

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favorite Warhammer 40K podcast. Bricky merch, book club, and how's that contest going? Oh man, two favorites. Not only are we their favorite forhammer people, but we are their favorite favorite. No one comes close.

We have two degrees of separation. Let's go. That is... It's early, man. It is early. Words and words, okay? You can go get merch at Orchidate.com. Check it out in the description.

Very cool stuff there. Would recommend high quality. Yeah. I mean, I wear it pretty often because why would you ever own a merch site if you can't wear your own stuff? It's fun. Same. And Book Club, we are reading Krieg by Steve Lyons, a recent edition.

It seems to be, I was actually kind of surprised. I thought it would be just about some Kriegsman stuff. No, it's about like how Krieg became Krieg. Yeah, it's the, uh, threw me off a little bit. Yep, I was, I was quite happy to see our boy, uh, in, in, in the book. I was quite happy to see him. And this is very interesting. So, uh, and also, last one or not least, the night contest is officially over. We'll be holding a live stream where we kind of go over all of the entrance. And we, and we'll be, uh, and we'll be, we will make a video on the top 10, showing them off, and of course paying out to the winners because that's part of it.

Yeah, hell yeah. Also, lots of really great entry. So, I guess thanks to everybody that gave us some sick night entries. You guys are pretty talented, actually. Surprising, eh? It's surprising. No, what is surprising about our fan base being talented? Oh, my God, 170 entries?

Wow. Holy shit. I didn't notice that many. I guess that's fair, because, like, It seemed like every day my Twitter was blowing up with a new really dope entry and people liking it and retweeting it. And there were so many good entries. I was pretty impressed every time I would see like, hey, it's a really cool night drawing on Twitter that Shia would retweet or something on the official of those ridiculous thing. And then I would realize, oh, that's for us.

Yeah, that's for us. What do you know? Yeah. It's very, it's very cool to see. Well done. Well done. So, DK, I got, well, okay, to all of our viewers right now, I've got a really sore throat, and I don't know why.

I don't have like a fever or nothing. I just have like a nasal drip, and it's very painful. Because, you know, when you wake up with one, in the morning, your throat is like, like razor blades. Yeah, yeah. So I'm a little, I'm a little, ow, but despite the fact that I'm a little, ow, I'm here, I'm here to film and to, record. It might be a shorter episode of normal

for my own sanity, but that's okay because we chose a simple topic. Okay, he's trudging through, guys. Give him a round of applause if you're watching. Give him a round of applause. I am doing the trudge. All right. Are you ready for your quote?

You're a little, this isn't going to be a hard one. I'll be shocked if you get this one, just so you know. So don't feel bad. Okay, okay. I am as ready as I'm going to be. I'm still riding the high of getting Tau right in the last episode. So chances are this is going to be a massive failure. So hit me, hit me with your best shot. Fire away. Oh damn it. I was gonna, I was gonna say it.

Little thieves. Thieves and vagabonds, a lot of them. They're petty-minded, larsenist, little subhuman scummed the last. Everyone overlooks it because they can shoot straight and can cook a decent meal. You can't trust them. Any of them. They'll steal your crono if you shake hands with them and is likely to pick your pockets as praise the emperor's name. Anonymous Imperial Guardsman. Oh, shit. This sounds like, if I had to guess, I'd say this sounds like some underhive scum that are just like sort of thieving, conniving, and they come out of their little underhive

just to, you know, steal from the rich and give to the poor type thing. I don't know what these people would be called, though. My best guess is just under hive rogues. All right, D.K., can you say this quote in like a dumb British ogre voice? It's not an orc voice, but a dumb... Well, a dumb British ogre voice is kind of an orc voice, but a little bit less orc. Okay. What one say, oh, dare, won't dare, he ain't.

So tough looking at me. Don't you worry none's it? I'll fix him. There you go. Do you have a guess on whom I have said that? It sounds ogren. I mean, there's no way that's ogren, is it? Oh, you're on, you're on the...

It's not... If that's Ogrin, then what could the first quote have been? Oh, I don't even know if you know these things exist. I might be saying you up for failure here. We're talking about ab humans. Ah, just ab humans in general. Yes, sorry. The first one were called ratlings.

They're like halfling variants of humans. Oh, yeah, I didn't know ratlings existed. I mean, I knew the, what's the vermin tide things? But that's fantasy. So it's like, I probably would have. Oh, yeah, those aren't ratlings. Those are scaven. Those are just rats.

Those are just rats. Just straight up jibing. giant rats, but yeah, I wasn't aware of ratlings. Damn it. So, so we're going over just some abhumans, a fun little thing of the various types of human evolutions that have gone through despite the fact that there are, well, there's a lot of them, but mainly due to the fact that the Imperium just lets 10,000 years of genetics do its work in a faraway backwater world. Okay. Oh, quick question. These rattlings say that,

Do they have any artillery by any chance? They have, like, guns at all? Is this a setup for a joke? I just want to know if they have rattling guns, because they're rattling. What a ratling gun instead of a gatling gun? It's a... Oh, that was a stretch.

N'uh. That's good shit. Come on. The rattling gun. Maybe it just shoots out other little rattlings, too, so it's a... Don't they literally have... the rattling gun does that exist? It does. Is that a thing? That's a thing?

It's a scatling gun. Yeah. I was like, that's a real thing, D.K. I thought I was just meming. That's a thing. The rattling gun is the latest and perhaps most powerful weaponry clan Scry has ever invented a large barrel, multi-barrel death-dealing machine that has the potential to

change the very face of warfare in favor of the scaven. Let's go. I am shocked you didn't know that actually. I didn't know that actually existed. Regardless, despite it all. We're doing ab humans. Ratlings are a thing. But most of the ab humans in the 40K universe are some variant of fantasy counterparts

and then also some horrible shit that maybe the Mechanicus and other people have gone around to. Or just problems with the world they're living in. For example, they all have their own, what would you call? What is Homo sapien? What's like, what would you call that classification? I know it's humans, but like, is like a scientific classification? Is like a no-like, what was that? I mean, Homo sapien, I think that's the scientific classification.

Is that the word I'm looking for? Yeah, I think that's the word you're looking for, yeah. They all have their own variance of that classification. And because of that, they all, you know, like it's instead of ogres, like in fantasy, we have Ogrim. Ratlings are a lot like halflings Where they're small, loud, hungry, and their assholes Okay So it's not necessarily that they're rats

It's literally just a very short man Got you, okay I was very hairy I thought they were rats No no, that's just the name for them Okay Well so like starting off for example right One of the most common of the abhuman variants

Is the homo and Navigo Which is the navigator And this is going to be the easiest to describe to you because luckily a Navigator is a main character in three fucking Nightlord's books. Mm-hmm. They generally exist entirely in Terra, and they have lots of houses in Terra, and these Navigator houses tend to really hate each other. Yes, they do. They tend to be assholes to one another, and they are in particular big assholes when it comes to politics, and infighting.

Navigating like an astardy ship is the greatest fucking pleasure you could possibly have. Right? Like doing it in the Navy is insane. Yeah. So they just want that all to themselves. So they're just trying to smush each other out

so they're the only ones the Imperium can call on to navigate their big ships and their astardy vessels. They want more power. They are houses, but they are political houses. They are just, it's like, it really is. just that kind of, that kind of group.

Because when you think about their role, you know, like the entire point, well, okay, well, you know about their genetic problem, which is the third eye, right? So they have a third eye that is on their forehead, generally, most of the time always closed. And the third eye lets them see into the warp without going totally bad shit insane.

It lets, you know, they close their normal eyes, they open their third eye, and they can navigate the warp. But, of course, that allows them to navigate any kind of ship and, well, you know, sail the sea of stars and souls. Yep. Don't look into that third eye, though, if you're like a human or something, because that's the worst way to die. That is, you're literally staring into the abyss itself, and the abyss reaches out and grabs you. Yeah, that's no fun.

That is no fun. That was a big part of the Nightlood's trilogy. But she was like, hey, I'm going to make you guys look into that eye. And it's like, oh, Talos, that's really fucked up, dude. That's, hmm. Oh, right, the third of the book. Yeah. Yeah.

Talos is like, hey, guys, I'm a villain. Did you know? And it's like, oh, yep, I remember. Did you guys forget that I'm the bad guy? Are we the bad guys? Yes. Yes, we are. Yes, you are.

But, of course, that allows them to sail the sea of souls, navigate the warp using their third eye. And the Navigator Gene is, in fact, hereditary and not the, oh, God, my voice. But no, obviously the Navigators themselves, it's a hereditary gene, so it's passed along their families and their houses specifically. And that's where all the politics comes from. It's the full-on level of having a strong navigator son whose gene is powerful and can go and make money for the family. And blah, blah, blah, blah. very hoity-toity stuff. Gotcha.

Which is, of course, if you go back to the book, she was a terran-born person, made a slave. It's quite the difference. A little bit. A little bit. But a slave on a, a slave on a wonderful

a star-y ship. So despite the heresy, it's an starry ship. Yeah, she's still piloting in a starty ship. Not very well, which they use many times. but she does still pilot it. So moving on from there,

you've got Beastmen, which I think, I think there's fantasy counterpart of Beast Men, pretty positive. I would assume it should be. I think normally they're in service of chaos. Or they tend... There's a lot of chaos beasts I can think of.

But normally they're kind of like goats, like a ram, you know. They're homo sapiens varieties. Orveritus, horned, hooved, and quite hairy. Oh, Sangor's. Yeah, yeah, the literal goat people. Sure, sure, yeah. They come in the Thousand Sun's, um, uh, start collecting box. And I think in the... Oh, are Zangor's Beesmen?

I mean, they're like goat people, aren't they? At present, quote, pure blood beastmen are no longer seen in Imperial service, since overt mutants now only serve in the forces of chaos. So I guess the beastmen that serve in, say, the guard or things like that are much lighter changed ones. Actually, I found a picture of one right here. Like, they're still beastmen, but they're not so overtly adjusted to the point where they can barely resemble human anymore. More like just a bipedal ram. They're more man than beast.

Yeah, they're definitely, the definitely ones that are the more man part. It's like they still can serve in the guard or are used as expendable assault troops because we're in Warhammer. That's what you do. With their expendable assault troops. So where did these beastmen come from? Like, did they just pop up? Are they just, like, genetically modified by, like, scientists? How exactly did, uh, how beastmen?

Uh, it is unknown. It was likely that they are a result of experiments in genetic engineering way back in the dark age of technology. Okay. G.W. just like, I don't fucking know. We just want beast men, all right? Fuck it. Yeah, you know, they want their, they want their, uh, their fantasy counterpart in 40K says they just do it you know they don't care it happened we don't know how or why but trust us they exist

it's a look at how cool these beast people are fair enough it's a weird one that i didn't hear about before called the afriel strain which is a very bizarre fucking thing here a f r iEL afriel all right um this is a weird one it is it was and just these words this sentence alone is like a horror story. Alphara Australian soldiers are genetically engineered warriors created during an experimental project conducted by the Adeptus Mechanicus. Oh no. And you're like, that's bad.

That's already bad. Adeptus Mechanicus Experiment? Uh-oh. They're horror shows. So the idea was it was an attempt to capitalize on the characteristics of the heroes of past

imperial people. by taking their genetic material in an attempt to recreate all the best traits that made them great. Oh, no. So they take old heroes and attempt to splice their genetics in order to make them amazing. To make them like a perfect soldier, obviously. Yep. It failed miserably. Shocking.

No way. Couldn't have seen that coming. So not only are they albino. They have pale alabaster sea. pale hair and colorless eyes, but for some reason, they have the worst luck ever seen among humans. Really? What contributes to that exactly? Is there like a... They don't really know? The thing is that like the luck, they're like the opposite of Domino from Deadpool, right? Yeah, yeah, where she's like super lucky and everything just goes her way, yeah.

Yeah, it's literally the opposite of that. To the point, point where even the Mechanicus themselves believed that their clone genetic makeup might like interfere with the warp some way and affect the laws of probability like they are they are under the ladder black cat broken mirror piano falling sons of bitches like nothing goes their way properly so how many of these afriels how many of them exist like they can't make them often because obviously they done fucked up in making them in the first place. So they can't just like, there's no way. They're like, oh yeah, let's make another batch of these unlucky fuckers and just send them out.

Like, did they stop making them and try again? Or how does that, what do they do with them? There's really not a whole lot of lore on these groups. It's just kind of like a little article, a little process. Oh, okay. And that's about it. probably some fan art here and there, you know, but

I would imagine after the first batch they're just like, you know what? We're not good at this, we should stop, and let's not go for another batch. Let's just stop, you know. Maybe we need to research this up a little bit. Try again in a couple thousand years. Shai posted some fan art of one that looks

really cool, but I somehow doubt an Afrio would be very good in the guard. No, I'd imagine they would accidentally step on their own landmines. Yeah, yeah, yeah, something bad words. I stabbed myself with my own bayonet. It's like, oh, geez, man.

There's one here called the Glaned War Veterans. Glant War Veterans. Okay. Never heard of them. They were created to fight the invading tyranids on the Forge World of Dantus III, which is a very polluted atmosphere. And so the tech priests genetically modified a ton of the Lostic 23rd Regiment of the Imperial Guard in order to have them fight in these conditions.

So they had many of their organs and drug secreting glands implanted in their body so they could survive the environment unprotected. And they increased their physical aggressiveness and combat capabilities to match. and interestingly enough, due to the insane losses and defense from the tyranins, only three of them survived in total. Oh, boy. Well, how many were there to start with? How many were made to handle the tyranins?

Probably a lot. You know, they always have big numbers in 40K. Jeez, and only three came out of it. Are those three up to anything now? Because, I mean, now that that siege is over, they were specifically modified for like that planet, that siege, those tyrannins. So are they of any use to anyone right now? Only three gland warriors are believed to have survived,

comma, who were taken by the Inquisition for study and debrief. Oh. Ooh. Pain on the field. Oh, God. Yeah. That's a bit of a... Yeah, they're not doing too well anymore, are they? They are not doing hot.

No. Oh, boy. That's... Oof. Well. Now, we've had a good time to talk about Ogrins. We've talked about Ogrins a bit in the past with our great boy, Nork, Dead Dog,

who remind us why he's so great? Oh, you want me to remind you why he's so great? Yeah. Oh, isn't he the one that he always listens to, like, his commander, no matter what, he's very loyal. Is he the one that his commander got eaten by a big tyrannid? And he, oh, get you, boy. and grabbed him out of there.

Yes, but do you remember why he was so smart? Because he just does as he's commanded. No, darn it, D.K. He can count a four. Oh, you're right. Oh, no. How could I forget the... This is the quote section all over again.

It's all over again. But the Ogrim are actually the homo... Is this actually what they are? Homo sapiens gigantis or gigantes. Little on the nose there, GW, but okay. Oh, oh. It gets worse. It's very funny.

But the Ogren, the gigantus, the Homo sapiens gigantes, they came from a pretty cold, barren planet, way out in the course of the galaxy that has very, very high gravity. So it's a frigid high gravity world. And that's kind of with many, I think it was a prison planet originally, very, very, very, uh, Terran Starcraft style. Um, because I'm pretty sure that's what that was too. And so to compensate for their insane bulk and change, they've also become really dumb. So despite the fact they're about like 10 feet tall, taller than space marines and are just fucking enormous.

they are incredibly stupid sometimes bordering on feral but once the Imperium arrived they showed them the imperial cult and the concept of the emperor so now they are like die hard loyal to the emperor because they're easily swayed Yeah that's a good good to sway to be fair As you can see that commissar is there and he's also known as Big Hatman and they will do whatever Big Hatman says

because he serves the Emperor and the Emperor is the best. They call Commissars Big Hat Man. I love it. I think they sometimes do call people big hats and stuff. You said their home planet is like really high gravity? Very, very high gravity and very frigid, very cold. Huh.

You would think on a high gravity planet they wouldn't be quite so big as they are. Because like that's why the squats are the way that they are, because their homes were like high gravity so it kind of shrunked them and because they just kept pushing down on them. It's weird that the ogre are so fucking massive. Yeah, I just don't think GW cares about how that works. Probably not. I just know, we need to have ogres.

We need ogres. Here's ogres, yeah. Also, here's a solid quote if you like to read it, because, you know, you're better than I am. So I asks myself, what would Colonel Stracker do? Easy eye says he probably yell at me for bloody standing about And not smashing things with me mates So that's what I did

They gave me this year shiny medal when I was true Specialist sniffed Bon Ed First Class speaking candidly about his promotion Bonehead first class Nice Oh yeah a bone ed So a bone ed is actually the leader of an over Ogrin group. They're called bone heads for being the leaders?

Well, biochemical ogren neural enhancement or bone. So it allows them to up, it helps them up their intellect a little bit more. Okay. And make them a bit smarter and a little bit easier to work with. Because like the bone eds are like Nork-Dedog. They're very, like they have somewhat human intelligence, but they're just dumb humans. A lot of ogrens are like Are like feral

Or not even just feral But they're just they're really dumb Yeah They can only really talk in like yeses and nos and grunts and stuff Like they're really fucking dumb I was gonna say they'd just be grunting like this big savage silverback or something It is yeah They also have this gun called a Ripper gun

The Ripper gun is their main weapon of choice Besides the club and the shield The club and the shield is for bull grin, which is a variant of the... I mean, they're still O'Grin, but they're just like... That's their specialties

being a bulgrin. But the Ripper Gum is a short-range, heavy, fully automatic shotgun. Ooh. Which, you know, makes it just really good for Ogrins because they're very dumb,

and you just run up to them and they just get really close to the enemy, they're just pressing a hold the trigger. You don't even have to aim that thing. Yeah, and it also can be fit with a Ripper's saw Which is a sawblade at the end of it Which they also like Yeah, why not? That's again

The perfect weapon for the ogrein Just rush in there Fuck shit up You don't need any skill You don't need any intelligence Just push the fucking button And yeah, perfect It's also meant to be very very

durable Very tough to cause too many issues too Because the ogrens are stupid And they tend to cause problems to them And they couldn't fix it anyway So Mm-hmm Sometimes, honestly, they'll just get rid of the Ripper gun and just give them a club

And just like go get it or they'll take like the turret off the top of a of a destroyed tank and be like go hit him with it And considering how like enormous these people are They generally do it pretty well they shrug off shit like crazy So like even if you shot them like they would just They're like tougher than orcs sometimes Damn, okay You know, orcs will have, like, their arm blown off, and those keep running at chicks.

They barely feel the pain. It's true. Like, Ogrens just, they do not care. They're bigger than orcs. Yeah, I guess I get, well, that's true. They're, like 10 feet tall, aren't they? Yeah, they, they're nuts. They even wear tank tracks as the chest armor.

Oh, is that what that is? Yeah. As if ogrens weren't tough enough already, then you outfit them in, like, tank armor. And it's like, damn. That is a terrible boy, yeah. So going on the exact opposite side of the Ogrim, we have the Rattling, which is the Homo sapiens Minimus. Oh my God, these fucking scientific classifications are really.

Oh, dude, I can't wait for the next one. They're so on the nose. GW couldn't think of anything else. They're Minimus. They're gigantus and minimus. Yep, they sure are. So ratlings are small, loud, hungry, and I think the word they use here is letcherous. They are little fuckers.

They are little hairy shitlords. Little hobbits. They're little halflings and their dickheads. So they mainly, they often serve as cooks for the guard. because they are constantly eating. They just, they never stop. They are constantly eating food. They fucking love.

They're, they're like Italians. They're just like third course, fourth course, fifth course. What do you mean you had enough? You haven't had enough? Fifth course. I think you're going to say they're like rats because rats never stop eating. And, you know, they're always looking for food.

They're always on the lookout for scraps that are left over. So I thought you were going to say they're like rats. Well, based on the fact that we've lost all of our Italian fans, thanks to our word bearer jokes. I think that it was a safe bet. Save bet. I mean, you're probably right. You're probably right.

Yeah, fair enough. They're often known to have kleptomaniac tendencies. Commissars will very often have to deal with petty theft or illegal gambling rings whenever there's ratlings attached to a platoon. Okay, okay. Damn, they, they, I get why they're called rattlings. They act like, you know, rats. True, but they're also very high-level marksmen.

To make up for all these shenanigans, they're actually top-tier snipers. And that's kind of their big main stick is the fact that they're really darn good at having fantastic aim. And they're often joked about or laughed at by the other soldiers due to their size. But more often than not, those same soldiers will have their life not ended horribly. thanks to a really good shot by a rattling. Or they'll have their stuff stolen by them. Or both. Or both.

Or both. I wouldn't have expected the rattlings to be really good snipers. I'm not sure why. I did not expect that. I expect them to be like, oh, yeah, they like to travel in packs and they kind of overwhelm enemies with the numbers or something. I don't know. But I was not expecting them to be snipers. I think it's kind of the idea that they have really fast reaction times

because they're so small that everything kind of move it's like when you're trying to hit a fly you know and the fly is just imagine the fly probably lives life at like half speed so it's just super easy getting around you yeah yeah I always I always assume the ratlings kind of have a slight variant of that did you hear that DK

Ricky has confirmed that little people move have faster minds than normal people. Well, I'm pretty short, so I'm good with that to know that we're superior to you tall folk. Oh, that's not what... All right, all right, whatever. That's not what I was getting at.

Whatever. Point being, these, you know, the half-ling kind of guys, they're much quicker, they're much faster. They move faster. They can shoot and move, shoot and move, and that's probably the reason why they're so good of pickpocketing you. Probably, okay. Because they take all your stuff. That makes sense.

Makes sense. Okay. So the next one we have is squats. Hey, let's go squats. Also known as the Homo sapiens Rotundus. Because they're circular. Because they're small and fat. Yeah, I got, I got, I got. Because they're small and fat.

GW. I'm not going to go too deep into the squats because we had our own episode in the squats way back when. Hey, hey, hey. Check that one out. It's the only episode I hosted. or I maimed but yeah

yeah yeah you you know hosted I guess is the well eh yeah yeah you whatever I had the reins on the episode we'll put it that way long story short they're dwarves

when you think of dwarves what do you think engineers you think long grudges you think combat like motorcycles and super tons of artillery tanky little bastards

that live in in tunnels and they fucking hate elves yep That is exactly what they are, too. To a T. Repub if you hate elves. Repub if hate elves. Well, they hate elves and orcs, right? They do hate orcs too.

Yeah, because both the elves and the orcs betrayed them. They were like, oh, let's have a treaty. And they're like, phtr. These are literally sci-fi technology 40K dwarves. They are exactly what you think they are. And I really don't need to go too deep into them because we have an episode on them. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. So, the next one, there is a necromundan house.

It's house Goliath. They own and operate many of the foundries of the hive, because the hive world is necrombunda. But because they care nothing, they care about nothing else besides physical strength, its workers are kind of breeded like cattle to be the most, like, strongest, toughest, unthinking people out there. So because of that They tend to be giant brutes Incredibly tough but short-lived and mentally not there Sometimes even bigger than a space marine

And that's kind of what they're used for Is that they breed just these enormous Just larger people To work in the coal mines or Areas like that? So are they kind of sort of like the ogrean But like an underworld version? There

They're in between an ogrean and a human. Oh, okay. So they're simultaneously bigger than humans and smaller than Ogrin. Yeah, so they're like fucking eight and a half feet tall or something. Yeah, I think like slightly taller than a regular Primaris Marine, perhaps. Yeah, they're beefy. They are. Their armor's kind of sick too, actually.

They're chunky ass, sons of bitches. They're big ass people. Yeah. Definitely. After that, you've got the night-siders. They are ab-humans who live out their lives in entire or complete darkness on worlds that are too far away from their primary stun. So think of this drama. Oh, yeah, yeah.

And they have generally developed larger eyes than normal humans, almost to the point of being bulbous. Oh, God. And others might have vestigial eyes that their other senses greatly enhanced to compensate for the near blindness. These are just like giant eyed Oh man These are probably some freaky looking fuckers, aren't they? This is anime in real life It's like I'm watching Anita Battle Angel

Put it in 40K Did you say Anita battle angel? Is it not Anita? It's Alita Oh Alita Sorry I didn't actually watch the movie You were only one letter off

You were close So I'll give you pass Yeah Yeah well well that one letter off Is the difference between having a cut and having a cum. Oh, boy. So night ciders, is that what they're called?

Night ciders. There's not much on them right now. Does they like drinking? They like drinking. Nightsiders. Nightsiders. Oh my goodness. I'm going to go puke.

Oh, God. Please don't. Oh, no, it's okay. It's because we're about to arrive to the cat boys. Oh, I thought you were going to be like, oh yeah my sore throat has turned into me vomiting I was like oh god this is horrible but okay just cat boys okay cool

no DK the only reason I'm going to be vomiting is because of this podcast eh that's fair I'm not even not even gonna fight it those are a lot of the major abhumans there's a couple other lesser known ones there is the troths

which are homo sapiens verdantis which is endemic to the world of verdant and they can't leave it why can't they leave it I don't know Oh What's the point of even Creating them if they can never leave

No one knows anything about them And who cares Like why would you even make I don't know I'm always assuming that whatever these are here It's like they're talking about like Hey well there's plenty of ab humans Comethawain the ogrein the ratling

There's even the trots They can't even leave their planet You know and then it's over that's it Yeah There's the long shanks Homo sapiens elongatus. Oh my god.

These humans are genetically adapted to habitat worlds with low gravity and are very tall elongated and emaciated. Oh, it's the race of long cats. You know what? Yeah, it's the race of long cats. Let's go.

All right. They find it nearly impossible to exist on worlds with high gravity because of how long they are. Ah, so they're pulling an expanse on us, huh? Is that a expanse thing? Well, yeah, if you're like from the belt, which is like, you know, Jupiter, they have like lower gravity. So if you go to Earth, the way they torture you is they just like put you in normal gravity and then it like crushes you.

And it's like it's like it's how they torture and get information out of you. And it's supposed to be illegal, but they still do it. That is weird. And also kind of fucked up. Very fucked up, yeah. Um, you have the Pelagers, Homo sapiens Oceanus, uh, which were either evolved or genetically altered during the dark age technology to live on ocean worlds. Of course. They possess gills and lungs as well as aquatic webbed hands and feet.

They are literally fish people. I view them a lot like the guy from Hellboy. Ah, I was going to say, uh, uh, Kurt was it Kurt Russell in Waterworld? No. But anyway, yeah, Waterworld dude that had the gills and his feet were webbed. Yeah, okay. Or I guess there's, what's the, what's the, what's the, Del Toro movie, Shape of Water? Never saw it. Fish fucking.

Oh. Fish vagina. Fish vagina. Oh, wait, actually, no, the fish guy was actually male. That's right, never mind. I'm thinking of the lighthouse. Is what you're saying? Fish pussy is what we're going with?

fussy. Let's move on to the next abhuman shall. D.K., have you seen the lighthouse? I have. That's the one with, um, it's black and white, and it has the guy from Twilight and, uh, the guy that's in everything. He's got the weird smile. What's his name? Wilm Defoe. Willem Defoe. Thank you. Yep. I haven't seen it, but I've seen clips of it and it looks kind of, looks kind of interesting. Yeah, if you want to see a young man and an old man jerk off for like the entire movie and have it be one of the most interesting films you've

seen in a while, that's it. I'm assuming you're metaphorically jerking off. I was like, I don't really. Oh no. Oh no, they are coming. Literally come is on screen. I am not shitting you. There is a moment when you see cum in the movie.

Ah. Huh. All right. It's a very good movie, but there is a lot of a lot of that. Just trust me. You really sell him on this movie, man. Distrust. Next of us Neander's, which is Homo sapiens hyanothis.

Okay. Which is a descendant of a baseline of human colonists on the planet of Hyanoth the 4th, which has been adapted to the ecological demands of their frigid and high gravity homeworld. Okay. Which include... Oh, shit. Hearsatism? Ooh.

And a much more robust. skeletal system as well. However, this also makes us so they can't leave. Who gives the fuck? All right, here's felonids. Homo sapiens, heres. Here's pseudis.

Here'sutus. Amogus. Boom. Felonids are endemic to the imperial world of Carlos McConnell. However, due to the particular biological requirements of the planet,

genetic modifications were made prior to doing so. And they are humans who have had their genes, gnomes spliced with the genetic sequences varied from various species of terran felines, and they possess many phyloid traits such as a light covering of fur over their body, extended canine teeth, and superhuman agility and grace. The misery in your voice.

Look at all the fan art, though, man. Like all the arch shy posted in the Discord. Why does the second one look like Shy? Does it? Even has the scarf and everything. It does. Wow. Shy was a cat girl all along.

Not actually a two foot tall Gremlin Chara, but actually a cat girl. Wow. I actually like the last one she posted a little bit. I like the commissars and the philinid auxila. And one of the guardsmen is pushing. over his coffee mug. One of them is bringing a dead crout, scratching at the flag.

That's kind of funny. I don't mind that one. That's got humor to it. That's pretty good. I like that one too. Yeah. I like how GW just, they just decided to make cat girls

and cat boys real. And we all need to pay the price for this pain now. I mean, I don't think it's so bad. I think it's all right. You are, you're, your mechanicist guy literally has cat ears,

your opinion means nothing to me. That's true. I am portrayed as the cat boy Mechanicus, aren't I? That's fair. I was kind of hoping they were going to be the ones that were called the N-Yon-Dors. Yeah, I was actually, when I was reading that one, well, it's N-E-A-N-D-O-R-S. It still sounds like it, right? I know.

I was thinking that, too. I mean, they've been so on the nose with everything else. You might as well just fucking lean into a G-W. You leaned into homo sapien longest, homo sapient gigantus, homo sapien, oceanus. You might as well do homo sapien meows for this shit. Like, jeez. Emosapian meowsus. Yeah.

Because they're a little sussy too, I imagine. They're very suss. All of these are a bit suss when you think about it. Particularly when you go a little bit farther out and you look at the, I mean, I mean, that's the thing, right? Is that, you know, you know, Gene Steeler Colts is very much a, like, oh, well, you know, it's the Gene Steeler Colts. It's like, how could people ever not realize that these weird three-armed people with purple faces are a problem, right? Yeah.

But when you think about the fact that the Gene Steeler Colts infiltrate for generations upon generations, and when you're on a backwater-ass world, it's just. Oh, it's like a rattling or an ogre. It's just one of the many ab humans. Yeah, it's an abhuman. No big deal. Because, yeah, most of the backwater planets aren't going to know tyrannids in general. They've never seen a tyrannid. They might have heard about it.

And they certainly sure of shit won't have seen a gene stealer cult. So, yeah. Not to mention the fact that most of these places are hive worlds and the pollution that these hive worlds create is staggering. That's true. Shai said you inhale toxic fumes from the factory 24-7s. You're just like, oh shit, I'm tripping again. God damn it. You're literally like balls to this. Throws remote.

Breaks remote again. Alarms. That's like the best part of that book is just, just like within a chapter, like less than like two pages, you just, you can just tell the pain of living in the Imperium as a normal person. The Imperium are, they're not the good guys. 16 hour days, the ringing has finally stopped. Only seven more years and I can get off this rock. So that's mainly my list of abhumans at the current moment. The thing is that because the nature of it and the nature of, well, you know, genetics and Darwinism, etc.,

you can really make an abhuman for anything. Oh, really? Well, you know, who knows what's going to happen in some far, a million, worlds. A million, you know? A million fucking worlds. Like there are so many opportunities and issues with, well, the way the planet acts, the genetics, the, uh, all this kind of stuff. Like, who knows what you could create? That's true. Who knows how you would adjust? Yeah, the door is open for literally any kind of abhuman since there are infinitesimal worlds out there that you could create some weird, wonky bullshit for. Or, you know, or, you know,

the Mechanicus could just experiment on something and just make some weird new shit. I was about to say the Mechanicus might as well just be doing it their own right because they're fucking insane. This just rolls up, I shall place penis on everything. Everything has penis.

This Ogren, two penis. Damn. And then next step, you know you got double dicked ass ogrens. Like, what are you going to do about that, D.K? Chaos stays no chance. Oh, that's a no chance. I'm staying as far away from that as possible. I don't want, I don't want None of that.

That's... It's too bad. I surrender. They've made it too... They've made it too long. They've replaced it with a neutron laser. Oh, God. Your atoms are ours now.

Wow. You all the necrons are just sitting in their fucking ships, like, just judging how painfully. The necrons must be so disgusting. No wonder the necrons are so disgusted. I get it now. I get it. Can you imagine the necrons? They're just like...

their dynasty, the strength of their empire, the re-conquist the galaxy, and the people who are sent to stop them are a bunch of fucking cat-girl guardsmen. Yeah. And then the Necron's have to stop and examine them. They're like, oh, who's a good kitty? Yeah.

Can you imagine you're like a Necron overlord and you're just like, you're alive for 60 million years, conquest the galaxy or something? And like five of these ogren that can't count to three run up to you and just like rip all your limbs off. Oh man. Imagine that being your end. So not not. I hate I hate this.

I hate this, I hate this, D.K. I hate they had to do. I hate they fucking did this. I can't fucking believe that that they've made cat boys fucking canon. They're trying to get more weeds, man. They've got the towel. They've got the cat boys. They've got the cat boys.

girls, they're just trying to grab all of the webs and get us in here. Because they know we've got disposable income to spend. But like, they actually made this cannon. Yeah, why not? I can think of many reasons why not. I mean, you've got cannon, well, space wolves aren't really, they're not wolf-wolves. Like, they're just the... Actually, wait, they did splice a little bit of...

Right? Wolf Dean. Oh, no. You got the wolf boys, so of course you got to... got to get the cat boys in there too. Like, come on. Come on. Come on.

Man. Ab humans, man. It wasn't the, it wasn't the, you know, the abs that we usually talk about, eh? I just...

It's not the abs humans. It's not the abs. Ab humans. I will leave this podcast if we ever make a cat boy poster. If we get a cat girl or a cat boy fucking poster,

I am gone. Go get Kirioth, find someone else. I am out. Shy make it happen. Shy, do that for the fucking next poster. Do it. No, no, shy. No, no.

We have to do DK's fucking Torch Star first because he's going to die if we don't. Oh, you're right. We do need to do Torch Star. Fuck yeah. Get those abs and that flaming bikini. Let's go. Hell yeah. Ah, you know just how to get me off the cat boy stuff, man.

Well done. Well, please. All right. Shai says, don't worry. The next poster is a hundred. 100% loyalist, 100% pure blood human and 100% gay. Damn. That sounds great to me.

That sounds like the holy trifecta posters. All right, cool. Hey, hey, we got fans that swing many ways. We got to make sure we cast the, despite the fact that Buba is the easiest use, we got to cast a wide net. Yeah, I mean, you know. Got to give the fans what they're looking for. Hell yeah. Abs is a gender neutral term.

Yeah, yeah. What's your sexual preference? Abbs. Okay, I actually feel like someone shot the back of my throat and it's from all the fucking dick I've been sucking DK. So, you know, I'm gonna I'm calling this episode.