Adeptus Ridiculous - ABYSSAL CRUSADE: The Conquest of The Eye Of Terror | Warhammer 40k Lore

Episode Date: June 12, 2024

https://www.patreon.com/AdeptusRidiculoushttps://www.adeptusridiculous.com/https://twitter.com/AdRidiculoushttps://orchideight.com/collections/adeptus-ridiculousThe Abyssal Crusade was an Imperial Crusade undertaken in 321.M37. The judgement of Saint Basillius found thirty Space Marine Chapters lacking faith. The guilty Chapters were given a choice between death or embarking upon a great crusade into the Eye of Terror. All would choose the latter.The Crusade met with disaster, and each of the Chapters that took part in it had their tale ended in great misfortune.The crusade's mysterious and disastrous fate was kept hidden from the greater Imperium, and the Administratum denied any link to it and the increase of Chaos Space Marine raids shortly afterwards. All that is known is that 800 years after the Crusade began, the remnants of some of the judged Chapters returned from the Warp with their purity and sanity intact. Infuriated and embittered by their ordeal, they cast their sights on the legacy of Saint Basillius, the long-deceased figure now worshiped as a god.Support the show

The Adeptus Ridiculous Podcast. My name is D.K. Diamante's. His name is Bricky. And, ooh, love that grim dark. But before we get into that, if you want to support the podcast, and head on over to the Patreon. Patreon.com slash Adeptus Ridiculous, where you can get access to the Discord, bloopers if they happen.

The $15 to get you access to all of our posters in crispy, digital, HD format. And, oh, I'm sorry. Bricky, did you know there was a new poster today? I did not, though it is June, so that would make sense. Yes, it would. Shai, show him the new poster that he's going to love. Why do you have to say it like that? Because you're going to love it.

Is that diner 50s diner Yvrain? Yes, it is. Yes, it is. That is diner waitress Yavrain. Well, legally distinct, Eldar, that maybe looks a little like Yvrain anyway. What? Did we make a joke like this before? Yeah, I think you made the joke that she was kind of just like, uh, between jobs, like a, like a waitress or whatever. Oh, I did make that joke. You're right. You were the one that made the joke. This is like the second post. Well, no, I think I made the Valley Girl Katie in reference joke. I, I just, I just throw things out there, man. Like, like, I just, I just throw to see what goes out in sticks, you know. Is this what it's like to be Mike Stelcloss?

Holy shit. Who? Shy gets the joke. Boy, hey, it's actually, okay, all right, it's actually pretty cool. I totally forgot I made that joke. Well, hey. Oh, damn. Well, there you go.

Your infamous joke has been made into a poster. That's fun. Yeah, it's fun. That's a fun concept. I did not think much of that originally. That's a fun one. Um, viewers, I, I, I, by the time I have this, I will be having this up and, uh, on the, on the stuff. So, uh, check it out at, uh, Orcinate.com link in the description. You want to buy the, uh, the fantastic, uh, diner legally distinct, not Yvrain, uh, diner, uh, dinar.

Eldar. Indeed. Indeed. Hell yeah. Let's go. El dinar. Is that what they would, that's a minus two. That's fair. That's fine. Yeah, yeah, my minus two. It sounded, it sounded, it sounded. It sounded way better in my head and then I said it out loud and it was like, nope, nope, nope, shouldn't have said it. Should it just stayed in the head? Yep. Yeah, don't look at the name tag. It's just coincidence. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Simple kind of stuff. Anywho, DK., how was your weekend?

I mean, it was a weekend. It was boring like any other one, but you know, those are the best kind because nothing happened. I just slept in, you know? Then like summer games fest happened? Oh, yeah, but it was, it was fine, but like, ech,

ech, ech. Shockingly, the Xbox showcase was way better. Yeah, I actually heard that Shy notoriously was really excited about the new Dragon Age game. Well,

which is, it's dope to see, you know, I'm glad that she's excited. It looks like, honestly, it kind of the trailer makes it almost look like it's a Dragon Age gotcha game to be honest with you. So I was like, hey, it could be good. Also, I'm stealing one of you for Mecca Break.

I don't care which one of you it is, but like it's a PVP MEC game and I'm really bad at PVP games. I need someone to hard carry me through it because it looks so good. So I'm just letting one of you know right now. One of you is getting stolen for Mecca Break and you should pull straws to see which one of you it is. I, you know, I actually was kind of curious about Mecca Break myself, so I think I might, I might join you on that one. Oh, let's go. It looks so good. It's after a game of the year, 2023, Armour Corps, you know, I just, you know, it's just time.

That's, that's, that's fair. That's fair. Give me your Gundam gateway. Mm. You know, you know what else? Speaking of gateways, um, today's topic. Uh-huh. Today's topic. Today's topic. Not a, okay, I was going to say, not a very, I was going to say not a very long one. But we know how that, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, save it, save it. We, we both have done it, you know, I've done it on Detective Ridiculous, a multitude of times. I get it, I get it. It is as it is.

However, this time, unironically, there is not a lot on this topic, but it's a funny, funny thing. This was a recommendation from shy. No, it is not orc-related. Wow. No, no, no, please. Please. I was going to say a shy recommendation that didn't involve orcs. Like, what she's dealt with too much snaggy, I think.

Maybe. I was going to say, was she held at gunpoint? Like, to not recommend. She likes other armies than aren't orcs. So we're doing an Alpha Legion episode? Like, what? All right. I mean, there's also demons, but like that was a pretty good guess.

I'm not going to lie. Yeah, right? Like, yeah. So, listen. So, a little boy talking about something, a little footnote in the, was it six edition codex? You're asking a wrong guy, pal. I'm asking myself.

I'm asking myself. Okay. You're just asking yourself out loud. All right. All right. Cool, cool, cool. It was an old codex. And it was a little thing called the Abyssal Crusade.

That sounds super familiar. We never have talked about it. Maybe I'm just thinking like abyssal. Maybe I've heard the word abyssal in so many like JRPs that's just like triggering a long forgotten memory. I think maybe we've just said the word abyssal a million times in Warhammer because it's a very hellish word, you know. That's abysmally, not abysmal.

That's abysmal, not abyssal. The Dragon A trailer was abysmal. not abyssal close shot you're close it's fine though in a sense it could have come from hell it could have but hey there was no game place so we don't even know it could be amazing even worse

oh yeah there's you have hope now don't do that anyway the abyssal crusade it's a cute little footnote back in I'd say the eighth maybe the seventh edition codex for the chaos space marines

maybe even the six I'm not quite sure one of those And it goes a little something like this. So back in the 37th millennia, so this would be 321.m. There was a guy story over. Oh, wow, great story. Hell yeah, great episode today, everyone. We'll see. What would you rate it out of 10?

Oh, this one, since it was just a guy in the 37th millennium, like 10 out of 10, dude. Oh, perfect, perfect. All right. So, yeah. This is good. So the guy's name, right? His name was Saint Basilius or St. Basilius the Elder. And this guy, top dog, big dick, huge political power.

He was old. He was known as ascendant. He commanded massive power because saints in the Imperium tend to, which are, you know, just very important figures more than anything. They command enormous amounts of power. Sure. So, good old St. Basilius, it was or had a group of space marines, not necessarily under his command, because no one really command space marines, so to speak. But it was a division known as the Puritus division. This was a couple hundred chapters of space marines, which is like chapters of thousands.

So it is quite a few. But specifically, their whole point was mutants. cultists, anything, immediate execution. I was going to say, like, I, I cringed a little bit once you said, like, oh, yeah, these space marines, they're purists. And I'm like, oh, boy, anytime you get an imperium, an imperial force that's called like the purists, the holy ones, or whatever, it's like, oh, boy, they just want to genocide anything that's not human, don't they? Mm-hmm. Oh, in fairness, that's most space marines, but, uh, yeah. This is a particular lack of enjoyment for even the slightest deviation.

As soon as you say Puritans, I'm like, oh, boy, they're awful. Yep, yep. So for the most part, you know, it doesn't really matter what your age was, what you were doing, the circumstance. If you were seen as a mutant or a cultist or anything of that nature, you were shot, which naturally led to a lot of probably false, false killings. I was about to ask, did you get a lot of witch hunt sort of things where some. someone just doesn't like someone else. And it's like, oh, yeah, they're occultists. I heard them worshiping chaos.

And it's like, no, you didn't. And they just kind of get a bolt to run to the head. 100%. Yeah. This was actually a weird situation where the ecclesiarchy worked with the Inquisition and the Adeptus Astardis in this region. And so it made it actually mandatory for the populace to inform others if they suspected chaos, which did lead to a lot of false allegations.

Yeah, I bet it did. That being said, of course, because this is Warhammer, we have to have that weird mixture of ends and means. So despite this being like the worst thing ever, the amount of insurrections basically became zero. Because you basically shot anyone that even breathed the word chaos. Yeah. And obviously nobody's going to be able to rise up. against the holy power of the space marines and the ecclesiarchy and all that. So like you literally can't have an insurrection, right?

No, it's basically impossible. Yeah. Until a warp storm came about. The warp storm Dionis. We know about warp storms. We talked about warp storms. It arrived and just caused massive warp rifts over a couple dozen systems all over. it just cracked reality in all kinds of ways.

Next thing you know, cultists four times the amount. Huge shenanigans all across the place. Chaos everywhere. Dogs and cats marrying each other. Max hysteria. Chaos. Chaos. How could you?

Dogs and cats marrying each other? What's next? Cats and mice being best friends? Tom and Jerry shaking hands? Ludicrous. Tom joining the Emperor's children? Like, God knows what happened. When I hear Tom and Jerry, all I think of is Tom and his crazy yell that

I think about the time when he like, as the kids say, he puts on that Riz and he goes to like the lady cats with like the big cowboy cigar. I like rolls his own cigar. The reference doesn't matter. The fact that you said as the kids say Tom put on the Riz, I just, I, oh, ah, ooh. You have more. more brain rot than I do. You think, well, yeah, I probably do actually.

I don't know. You're a, you're a, D.K., you're a mixture. You're older than me, and you love sports, but you're also a V-tuber, and I love anime. And you love anime. So, like, where are we at? You know what, D-K, I'll tell you one thing. You certainly are a unique individual, and I say that in a kind, kind phrase. There's nobody quite like you.

Yes, let's go. I'll take it. Somebody quite like shy either, but that's for better or worse. Yeah, that's, yeah, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Well, yeah, so Puritans and chaos and everything is going Louis-cablui. So, because of this, the Ecclesiarchy and St. Basilius the ascended demand, oh, also, sorry, I got to roll this back real quick. During these warp storms, a lot of them were on the Space Marine chapter. is home worlds. A lot of the major chapters that were underneath this Puritist division were here, and those home worlds had a lot of warp storms. And as we know, all gene seeds carry a certain risk and negative to them. So these issues, either psychological or even physical, started popping up a lot more in these space marine chapters. And that would be referred to as to some taint.

They would also refer to that as the area between the balls and the butt. Whole. Well, thank you for the anatomy lesson. Up until you just said that I did not realize that that sort of trail was called the taint. That's incredible, Bricky. You should be a biology teacher. Teach that anatomy. You ever see the Untitled Goose Games porn parody called the Untitled Gooch Games.

I'm sorry. What were those words you just said? Anyway, so, because of this issue with all of these chapters... The warp storm is right overhead of the podcast right now. What the dope just happened? California is undersea. Half of America is cheering. I'm looking out the window expecting to see tentacles rising up out of the pavement because... All right. So anyway, warp storm, you say? Storm. So, they had a couple of

of these Astardis, and St. Basilius demanded that these chapters, who's had the Warp Storm on their homeworld, get touched, be rendered onto his judgment. And this elder was so powerful in his political options that the High Lords of Terra agreed with this situation within a year. And a long series of tests, and as they say with big words, prognostications, eventually deemed many,

of the chapters to be unaffected by the general Warpstorm screwery, except for 30. 30 chapters were deemed heavily affected by the warp storm, and they would be known as the judged. Oh, one of them's the Lamentus, isn't it?

No. Wow! They missed a bullet! Let's go! That's the curse founding. Fair enough. So, with this, they determined what to do with these 30 chapters. And they ended up deciding, after large amounts of counsel and discussion, to go on a redemptive crusade, purify, taint in the fires of battle.

And so they went directly to the heart of the enemy. They believed that martyrdom was better than this long existence of suspicion and doubt. So they said, fuck it, we ball took their procession of strike cruisers and battle barges, strolled right past the Acadian Gate back when it existed, and flew, one by one directly into the eye of terror. Wow. To add, yeah, the famous image right there. You can see the space butthole. Whoa.

Yeah, wow, yeah, that is a space butthole, isn't it? And they just went dead center straight into the eye of terror, into a way to murder as many chaos, everything as they possibly could. Damn, how's just the first time I'm seeing this image? It's pretty famous one, actually, yeah. Also, like, okay, so initially you're like, oh, yeah, it's the space. butthole and then looking around, it's like, look at all the chaos shit that's coming out of the flames. Like, that's actually a really dope picture. Yeah, they do a good job at mixing the combination

of like flaming warp rift, but we got to remember that the warp rift is like alive because it's the warp. Yeah, and it's got teeth and eyes and that's, that's really dope, yeah. It's a fun one. So that basically ends, basically the story of the Abyssal Crusade. Oh, good episode, dude, good episode. Loved it. He kept it nice and sure. Well, for the most part, that's kind of where it ended up because for the most part, the real story of the abyssal crusade is what happened to the chapters that went through. Mm-hmm.

Okay. Yes, the quote, the story of the judge seemed to end with their entry in the eye of terror, after which none were heard from again for nearly 800 standard years. So they were getting busy in there. So the only major, or one of the judge chapters, I think they were the judge chapter, was the Vorpal Swords, which helped lead the other survivors 800 years afterwards in a major anger against St. Basilius,

who, guess what, was actually a chaos corrupted apostle and purposely did this to the chapters. Wow, what a shock that it was actually the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, that was the chaos tainted and was convincing everyone else. What a shocker. What a shocking development. Also, if we ever talked about the Vorpal Swords before?

Yeah, in passing at most, I imagine. Okay, because that might be another, like, JRP brain rot because Vorpal Sword is a very common thing, and it's an anime thing, and, yeah, anybody that's seen an anime called Kurokunabaske, there's a movie where they call themselves the Vorpal Swords, and, yeah. It's a, Vorpal Sores is a thing that's been used a lot, but what's more important is that they have this ugly green paint scheme.

Oh, God. What is that? It's green. Oh, I don't know why. When I think Vorpal Sores, I think red. And I think their color scheme would look a lot better if the green was just like a nice, dark, like red, like a maroon or something. Sure. Oof.

God, that's horrible. Anywho. Once they, I mean, at this point, St. Basilius was long dead because they're immortal. 800 years later. So what they did in, he was being revered to as a saint. So instead, they basically tore down every, they called them a false idol, tore down everything that was ever important to him, killed a lot of their followers and destroyed all the relics, took his remaining bones, put it on a ship, and threw it into the sun.

I am not kidding. They launched his bones into the sun. That's great. They needed them directly to the sun. Also, did you mention how they found out that he was chaos tainted? Since at this point, when they came out, he was dead, right? How did they find out that he was chaos tainted? I don't actually think that they found out.

I think that was, oh, wait, no, they tested for the taint of chaos. They did some. It's a throwaway line in like an old codex. Oh, okay. So they just did something, and they just, like, Okay. Yeah, it's just something. Okay.

But what's more important? And the reason why this is in this chaos codex is for the fun reason, which is let's make a whole bunch of brand new chaos space marine chapters. Because most to all of the people that went into that warp, Aia Terror, ended up corrupted into a chaos marine legion. That makes sense because they spent so much damn time in the warp. And yeah. Yeah. Okay. So there's a bunch of new chaos space marine chapters.

There's, in fact, roughly 30. Oh, that's a lot. What the... Well, 30 went into the eye of terror. I said 30 of them were judged. I guess that's true. But, like, so there are like 30 new chaos, space marine things you could actually run? Or is this just for the story's sake?

Oh, this is just for a story's sake. Oh, okay. You know how there's like 19,000 space marine chapters that are just like subchapters? Right. this is kind of like that but for chaos. Okay. Yeah, exactly. I thought when you said like, oh, yeah, and the codex, blah, blah, blah.

I was like, oh, damn, they made 30 new ones. And I was like, shish, chaos is eating good today. Like, this is the chaos edition of 40K. So, of the 30 chapters that were judged, they have a big list of these that went into the Eye of Terror, and all of them eventually were given some kind of excommunic design or designation. So, for example, the, the, the, um, the, the, Doom Legion, ironically a loyalist one, became the Vectors of Pox.

Can you guess? Who are they went with that one? I'm guessing that's a Nergel thing. That seems very nergely, very chaos rot, you know. Also, the Doom Legion. It probably wasn't hard to convince people like, yeah, of course they're a traded Legion. It was like, oh yeah, Doom Legion?

Oh, yeah, F those guys, send them into the warp. I mean, it is kind of funny because often you'll have some random loyalist chapter with some horrendously horrifying name that you would think would be chaos. But then, you know, but then you also have ones where they go from the Tempest Legion to The Revelation of Gore. Can you guess which one was chaos in that one? I'm guessing there's a core thing. The Revelation of Gore.

Damn. Sometimes you'll get like, you know, you'll get that stuff. All right. You know, there was like the Star Griffins turned into the sons of. of midnight. But sons of midnight could easily be a damn loyalist one. Yeah, yeah. Both very cool names. They went from cool name to cool name. They got a side grade. But certain chapters are named specifically in this part of the crusade. One of them, for example, was the Iron Drake's chapter. They were assailed by the death garb and landed in force on the pestilent

Nergel world of Anithrax, because I guess they didn't want to just call it Anthrax. Yeah. constantly smashing through a bunch of fungus forests that constantly coughed and sneezed out mucus on the space marines, which, ironically made, well, not ironically, but they were mostly immune to, thanks to the respirators and all that kind of stuff, but they were constantly assailed by the death garb that specifically aimed not to kill them, but to just slowly whittle them down. because eventually a crack in your armor led to the fungus reaching into your system and eventually having you bulging out of your armor

screaming and turning yourself into another one of those fungus trees that would eventually puke on your buddies. Ew, that's so gross. A forest that just blehs you. That's disgusting. And then if you hit by it, you turn into a tree yourself.

Yeah. And then not only do you have to navigate that, but then you got like the death guard that are like trying to snipe you with their plague nonsense. And good luck. Good luck. Good luck. There was also the Sentinel's chapter.

Oh yeah, the Nergal trees are pretty crazy. Oh, God, I hate the Nergal trees. They're so gross. You can actually run that in the game because it's a mini. Yeah, yeah. I think it's called the feculate Nairma. Nile Ma. Oh, what a great.

named the feculent my oh, it's so great. It's so perfect for Nergel though. That is so perfect for death guard stuff. Feculent narlma. That's what it's called. Oh man.

Big, big gross tree. Yeah, that is a... Also, Shai says also Bricky. I'm Bricky, yes. Is that you? Man, I thought you was talking about it. It can be. I mean, even the death. Ethgar ones have a, the miasmic malignifier.

Oh, yes, yes. They, um, well, so I, I, I didn't, I didn't forget that. I was getting there. Give them a chance. But, yes. Eventually, you know, after being hunted down for almost, I think a century. Whoa. They were there forever.

Uh, maybe not a century. Maybe, you know, it was either like one year or a hundred years. It was, it was long regardless. Although, to be fair. was more 40K like. For a space marine, a hundred years isn't really a forever deal. It's long, but for like a space marine that's like nigh immortal and I don't want to say ageless, but like that's, it's a long campaign, but it's not like for us forever.

For them, eh, right? So it was 100 years? No, I don't mean like the definition of a century, but they were stuck on the planet for 100 years. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. Okay, okay, I thought so. Um, yes. I mean, that was the whole point. The death guard's whole vibe was to just slowly bring them down and really just, you know, run them aground. Break their will. Yep. And so eventually they surrendered to the death guard to just stop this like endless agony. And they became the gray death, servants of Nurkle. Huh. Well, there was. I mean, a hundred years of dealing with that with no end in sight. Like, can you blame them? No, I really can. not. Yeah. So there's also the Sentinel's chapter. They found signs of

a chaos-based marine infestation and made planet fall on a certain planet known as oleensis. Do you remember what oliensis was? I do not. I won't be a matter of you if you forget this one because it's a very specific name, but, you know. Is it one of the people planets? Holy shit. He did it. Let's go!

It was a shot in the dark Because you were like, oh, it's a very specific thing I was like, surely, maybe it's a people planet. Yeah, this was the gigantic morbidly obese Lanesh man planet. Let's go, where you can never die And you just get revived and just

out of their nose. Or is that the planet where the nightmares Kill you, Eat You, and bring you back alive? Oh, yeah, that's probably the one I'm thinking of. Yeah. Well, regardless. Getting my people planet mixed up. The Sentinel's chapter made their way around

to murder. Because they realize, that's kind of funny. So when they land him, they realized it was a giant person because their topography mountain range map, noticed that the mountain range was just a human face. And they had these like, it's actually kind of crazy how they talk about this because they had these gigantic, you know, like hairs, right? But they're like the size of tree trunks soaring up into the sky. So it's, how could you know it was a hair? Right.

So basically they went out and just murdered all of the weird goat-faced people, Slaneshi folk on the on the planet. But eventually the noise marines came out of the pores of the guy and started attacking, which made Oliensis very upset and annoyed that people were attacking on his body. So his giant like lake-sized eyes opened up and he just took his hand the size of, as it says here, a tectonic plate and just shoveled them into his mouth. Wow.

All right. So just like everybody, even the noise Marines just, ah! I mean, the noise marines don't give a shit. That's true. That's true. I mean, and they're warp entities. So they're just like,

ah, our soul's just going to go back to the warp and we'll get reborn eventually anyway. So who gives a shit? So eventually, they were then regurgitated back into reality, completely, unrecognizable as the cannibalistic corpus brethren now Slaneshi worshipped heretics.

Oh, great. So they didn't turn because they were battered and broken or what did they, they turned because they literally got eaten and then puked out as chaos space marines. I mean, God knows what happened when they were eaten. Like, good gods. I don't really want to think about that either. I don't want to think about the digestion process of oliensis. Oh, Oh, hey, they look fucking cool, though. What the, what the hell? That looks dope. Yes, they were forced to survive inside all the insis as a cannibalism,

which is why they have the corpus brother in name. Oh. Wait, so he ate them and they were still alive in there, and they were just like, oh, how do we survive after getting eaten? And they were just like, well, only food source I can see is you, brother. I mean, they are space marines. That's true That's true

You think space marine You think space marine flesh is just like In immensely rough to eat Like it's just like not tender at all Oh yeah because it's all muscle So it's probably very protein rich And you probably could survive off like a space marine forearm For like you know

A while I would absolutely need some kind of Air Fryer for that shit Yeah yeah definitely I don't think they had portable air Well, they might have. So we had one that was also known as the Knights Excelsior. At least they're obvious about which one's a loyalist in that one.

Excelsior. They were making it to the planet of Temporia, which is imagine it. Like at the time, Vashdor didn't exist, but kind of imagine it like a Vashdor planet. It's a giant mixture of cog-like plateaus, manufactora, and spiraling staircases. Yeah, very mechanical. Roll and yeah. Okay. Very mechanical. And as they arrived, the Knights Excelsior saw a bunch of beasts like gargoyles that eventually

were in fact real things and jumped down on them and started spewing fire and bullets and things from their mouths. Okay. Which is pretty normal for the most part. Yeah, I was going to say, they probably weren't, I mean, they were probably surprised but they're like, oh, yeah, this tracks, you know, well, yeah, mm-hmm, yeah, sure. Ready the arms, brothers. Yep.

The weirdness of this place is that lava began to. have a sneeze. I didn't know lava could sneeze. God bless you, lava. God bless you. God bless you, Bricky. So lava would actually go upwards. It would rain up. Oh.

From the ground and defiance of, you know, physical reality. Yeah, yeah. Well, they are in the war. Which would then cause all kinds of shenanigans as the knights would find their way to hack theirself back to their ships. But the creator of these people, a warpsmith, decide, like, go ahead re-embark on your ships before he set

loose demons that ate electricity, turned off all their ships, grabbed all of them, and drove them right back into the soul forges back on the planet. Yikes. That's unfortunate. Yikes, indeed. So the

warpsmith just kind of let them believe they were going to get free and then just kind of like, ha ha, gotcha. No, you're coming with me. Pretty much. They got yeated into the soul forges of his fortress, and then about a year later, they reemerged as the magma hounds.

Oh, pretty cool name, actually. Okay. Yeah. Cool armor, too. Yeah. I mean, I like their logo actually the most. They've got a really, really neat shoulder pad logo. Oh, yeah, that is really cool.

It reminds me of like a Cerberus or something. There's only one head, though. I was going to say Cerberus would have to have three of them, but still. I don't know, the flaming hound thing. I'm always reminded of like a Cerberus head or something. Sure, a flaming dog kind of thing, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But man, what a dick.

What a dick? Dude, I love how petty chaos guys are. They're just like, screw you, man. Right? Like, what just, like, why even, like, it's, he could have done that at any point. Could have grabbed them, put them in the solvers, but he says, no, no, no, no, no. I'm going to give them hope first. I'm going to let them think that they're going to make it off of here.

And then just gotcha. Oh, what a prick. So lastly, I believe that we have in this excerpt in the Codex was the Brothers of the Anvil, which eventually ended up on a crone world and were eventually captured by a bunch of Drukari. And they, I won't lie. This is the only one that's a little bit like, goofy to me. Okay.

They were forced to fight in the Kamara arenas for a year and eventually slaughtered their way out of Kamara back into real space, but their brains were so broken that they eventually just murdered every single living thing they could possibly find and turned them their names into, oh crap, what was their names? Were they the deathmongers? Or were they the death shadows? Were they the blood lords? So this is just a case of, wow, Kamara arenas really pick them up.

They just really screwed them up and they just got, hey, like, and you said it was only like a year, right? It was only a year, yeah. I feel like that's too short of a time for a Space Marine's mind to get broken. Like, yeah, sure, it's Kamara. I get it. Kamara sucks for anything that's not, you know, a dark Eldar. Well, even for the Dracari, it kind of sucks. but like a year for a space marine

maybe if it was like if it was like the Death Guard one where it was like oh yeah they've been fighting in the arena for a hundred years against all manner of darkness and horrible things that the Dracari could you know wheeled up and oh yeah we're also getting tortured by the Drucari

which really sucks and we have to fight in the arena I could see that but one year I don't know one one year seems a little short. Oh, it's the death mongers. There we got, the death mongers. Okay. Um, yeah, one year's a little short. I mean, don't get me wrong. Jukari have all manner of horrible, like, a day in camaraderog is bad. Yeah. But I mean, we've seen, we've seen, you know, Marines survive some pretty disgusting stuff. Oh, yeah. I mean, Uriel Ventriss survives the demon kilbasa and comes out, I mean, he's affected, but, you know. He is certainly affected. He's affected, but it's affected, but it's,

not like he's turning to chaos and like, you know, turning to cannibalism and outright violence towards any living thing, right? So I don't know. Oh, it's all dependent. But that was the death mongers. They were one of the ones. Okay. From this point on, there was honestly just, you know, for the most part,

not a whole lot of other major ones discussed. There were a couple. But like, for example, I can click on, I don't know. I mean, there was the Doom Legion, right? And then they became the vectors of Pox. Mm-hmm. Wait. Oh, pour one out for our boys from the Blades Eternal,

chorus of Elteon, prophets of Mercury and fist of Ocus, who never surrendered to chaos and died to the man. Blades Eternal, such a cool name, too. I guess they weren't as eternal as they thought they were. B'bom. No, but, like, for example, if I look up the vectors of Pox, it just said,

hey, the Doom Legion went in, don't know what happened. They came back to Vectors of Pox and they were Nergel affected. Yeah, and they're just a chaos space marine chapter that's just floating around doing chaotic nergels shit. Yeah, the Justicar's came back as the fracture. The bronze gorgans came back as the crystal wyverns. What happened to them? God knows what, but these are just the ones that were specific.

Right, right. They don't really have any backstory. It's just like, yeah, they went in, they came out, they suck now. but most particularly gives you a whole bunch of fun interesting little space marine war bands to play or make stories about

Yeah, it'd be cool if they made conversion kits that allowed you to make them look like these war bands that came out as chaos Like especially like man I would, if they made a conversion kit for those White Cannibal dudes Bro, I would buy a bunch of them. That shit looks

so cool. The, I mean, you know, we're waiting, God, God hopes. We are waiting for an Emperor's Children Codex to come out at some point in 10th edition. And considering the fact that, you know, good old, what is it, good old, what the hell were their names? Corpus Brethren? Corpus Brethren? Are an Emperor's Children Base one?

You could always just paint them white, that kind of goldish bronze trim. True, but like I like the way their armor looks with like the horns coming out the side and everything. And it just looks really cool. It does look extremely cool. I mean, you know, you just, you sir, need to have the ingenuity to paint yourself some good stuff. I'm trying, all right? I'm painting my Thousand Sun's Army. It's a different color than what's on the box.

I'm doing the thing, all right? I'm doing the thing. You're doing the thing? Two boxes are rubric marines I have to paint. Two boxes I got. So I'm good for the foreseeable future. For the foreseeable, you say. Yeah, not long term, but you know, for the foreseeable future, I have rubies to paint.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Hey, why do you sound disbelieving? What, what, what? You know, say it, say it, say it to my face. I can't. I will give you a slight. a bit of appreciation. You have, in fact, painted some of your people as of recently. Yeah. I just got to stick to it. Yes. You got to stick to it. I went through this before. I went

through this before. But we're okay. I'm okay, Dad. I'm okay. It's okay. But for the most part, a lot of the other, like, these are one of those small, fun little throwaways that they have in codexes every so often. They did. They did have these fun throwaway stories in codexes. I guess they sometimes still do. Just the chaos space room when we did recently that I complained at Nazim about didn't have as many, like this dim. Yeah, it's a fun little...

Yeah, well, you know, they wanted the a million regular space marine chapters to have some kind of chaos counterparts and naturally this is the way to do it. Sure, sure. They should do more of them. And it's kind of funny. Yeah, well, it's also kind of funny because it feels like so often whenever there's like an insane chaos.

ridiculousness going on. It's always the cause of... It's always the cause of some random priesthood asshole. Like, was it the siege of racks that started off with that one guy who was tricked by one of the deacons or something? Yeah.

They all have... They seem to happen a lot. The ecclesiarchy gets tricked by chaos so that they can keep their power and keep their little whatever, and then whoops a daisy, I let chaos in, and oh boy, new chaos space marines, right? Yep. Yeah, I mean, Shai, if you got a couple other ones, I didn't find any other chapters that really tickled my fancy, though, unless you might have some kind of a fancier.

None of them tickled the old taint? No, no, they do not tickle the taint, as you say. Cannot imagine anyone doing that, but, you know, this is just, we got a, we got to, we got to bring it all back around, right? Since you gave us a biology lesson earlier, I would be remiss not to use it in the episode. Oh, how dare I ever, ever, uh, tickle your taint without repercussions, of course. Oh, no. Please, I don't make a tickles your taint poster. I beg of you. I don't think we can do that. Oh, you, oh, you were referring some of the ones above. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, we got these ones. Oh, I thought you meant more on the, on the judged. And I was like, there's not

any other judged ones. Gotcha, gotcha. Okay. Yes, so there's the company of misery. Degradation of gene stocks, which I know as the Desolate Brotherhood found themselves was a sign of impossibly dangerous and undesirable duties, including Death World Space Hulks and quarantine zones.

Ouch. Each son they believed they had one reprieve, they were sent on an even more hazardous mission plunging them into a spiral of dissolution and despair. After catastrophe on the acid swamps of misery, they took a new name, left their duties behind, forever becoming swarmed enemies of the Imperium.

And they literally just quite quit. Yeah, they pretty, they just rage quit because you keep sending us on these shit missions. And, oh, man, yeah, I guess it, you're probably not too thrilled and they're like, oh, yes, your next mission is on a planet called misery. And it's like, oh, fuck, this is going to be awful. Oh, no, I don't want to go to planet misery.

Like, come on. They genuinely just quit. Can't blame them. Oh, what's this? The cleaved. Call with all your soul, little one. Call and we shall answer. The pallid warriors known as the cleave first appeared during the interruption of magma cordelium.

The loyalist guardsmen of the Eridion 334th had pushed away into the rebellious planetary governor's palace after a sustained bombardment, but the psychers realized too late that the architecture of the governor's keep was actually a gigantic summoning circle. amongst the choking fumes, the insurrectionist conjured reinforcements, not demons, but Chaos Space Marines with strange oil-like blood, oozing from the joints in their armor. Ooh, Vash Tor Chaos Space Marines.

I mean, Vastor doesn't exist yet, but still, it sounds like if Vashdor had his own little Chaos Space Marine Legion, that's what they would be, like, just bleeding oil all over the place and just very, like, instead of shoulder guards, it's just these cogs that are spinning, around and clanking. Oh, that's great. Love it. What is this? The scourge. I think I've heard of the scourge before. Oh, shit, Shia and I had the same brain cell. The scourge once worked for

the Inquisition as the Seekers of Truth. Chapter Master Gallus Herodicus was an honorable man and wrangled whatever ordered to execute innocence. The injustice was draining the seeker's morale. And in the night, Herodicus prayed for a way to know when a man was lying. Unfortunately, Zinche was listening and granted his prayer. from the moment Herodicus and his men could hear every lie spoken by man. The chapter went rogue within days, though they could have saved the Imperium from heresy once and for all. The constant stream of falsehoods in their heads have made them horribly insane. Quote, the lies, the lies, the lies.

And the monkey paw curl, well, as it usually does with Zing, just like, sure, here you go. It's, yeah. And like I said, like, you can imagine. imagine if you could hear every lie being told, you would go insane. Even if you're not in the desolate wasteland of 40K, if you are just on earth right now, this second, if you could just have a stream of every lie going to your head, you would go bad shit crazy like that. No question. Even if you could know every single lie like people you're talking to, I even think that would make you crazy because People talk in like white lies all the time.

Yeah, even if you were, even if you could just hear the lies of like you said, someone you're talking to, you'd go crazy. You'd go mad. Is their motto really just the lies, the lies, the lies, the lies, the lies? Yeah, she posted it right there. It's actually their motto. Oh, yeah, it's on the little card. Yeah, sorry.

I was not looking under the card for the little motto. All right. Well, there's also, what was this, the blood disciples? The emperors will Known as a twisted hermit Knows the Red Prophet As he preached to worshippers of corn From a pillar of gushing blood

Soaring on their jump packs The Eighth Company carved their way To the Prophet and cut him down amidst the geyser All those touched by the blood Instantly became devoted to corn The Eighth Disciples as the Eighth Company is now called have led raids ever since So it's just like a like a trapped

When you kill the guy, you become Cornish Yeah It's funny It's funny I mean, like, the Red Corsairs are actually here on the list. Oh, are they? Yeah, because they're like kind of sub-faction. Yeah, yeah, they would be.

They didn't have as much going on there. I actually think, does Bile have his boys here? Shai said the Crimson Slaughter deserve an episode of their own. God, that's a great name. That's such a great core name. The Crimson Slaughter? Ooh. They're very neat.

You know, got to be honest. it's really cool seeing this old codex and seeing it say page 28 out of 113. Wild how that is, how that's the case, isn't it? Wow, yeah, that sounds pretty crazy. Incredible. Couldn't happen now, could it? Couldn't be me. Couldn't be now, couldn't be me.

Nope. Goodness gracious. Yikes. But hey, another $60, please. You know, another $60 for a codex, please. Right? Right? Right?

You know what you know what's particularly aggravating here? What's that? So you get to a page, right? And it says like demon princes, you know, usual kind of thing. There is an entire section of lore on the prince itself, what they are, what they're about, what the everything like that. And then it has its rules. So even when you're in the rules section of the game, you're getting massive chunks of lore. Oh, man.

It's, oh, God damn it, dude. I'm so shmad about this. It's beautiful looking. It's beautiful, beautiful, I say. It's beautiful. It's a beautiful thing. It's like if it was raining mariner on Monarch. Wait, what the hell is this?

What the hell is that? So wait, hold on. Hold the fucking, okay, this is, this is got to be a cool, an episode idea at some point. So, so, so, because they actually have, like, various lore bits for all this stuff. Here is one of their chaos relics called the murder sword. Oh,

so deadly are the wounds from this ancient blade that rumors persist that is actually the anathema, the very weapon used to lay Warmaster Horace low within the mist wreath swamps of Davin's moon. The sword is undoubtedly of eldred prominence for a simple sacrificial

ritual. It can be enchanted, the bane of a certain foe above all others. So you can just like nominate an enemy character to be the topic of the murder sword I love that it is just like naming scheme

no we're calling it the murder sword the end if you're the target of the murder sword I hope you are ready for your murder also I wonder whose skin and face that is that they have placed the murder sword upon I'm very curious myself too I would love to know

who in the world holy she That is an image and a half. That is crazy. Look at look at this. A whole psychic discipline for every single God. Couldn't fucking be me. Couldn't be you in 2024 looking at 10th edition stuff, right?

Could not be me. Could not be. Bricky continues to cry. Let it flows. Let the hate. Let the hate flow. with real things. Going back to the crusade,

got to give it to our friend Basilius, though. Sent 30,000 pure space marines into the eye of terror for the memes, tripled the amount of chaos space marine raids, and is a beloved imperial saint until 800 years later, where he finally was then removed. But ironic, but you get,

he was already dead. I mean, this whole episode is a massive chaos dub. Yeah, basically. I mean, all those space marines went in And they all, yeah, yeah. He did it, won, and died. Yeah. What a guy.

He did it all for the nookie. Shut up. I hate you. Die. What? He did it for that chaos nookie. Why do you have to say it like that? What do you mean?

Is that a limp biscuit? Was that a limp biscuit? Yes, of course. It was, surely. Come on. Can you go back to making anime references and not like bad dad rock? Oh, limp biscuit wasn't bad dad? rock it was just bad period there's that you don't need to put any amplifiers on that it's just

limp biscuit was just bad okay good oh a mother chain saw i'll skin your ass raw and in my day keeps going this way i just might break your fucking face tonight let's go love that song that's screw you man we're ending it there we're gonna we're gonna call it with your stupid ass lip biscuit It's a great song. Come on. I thought you said they sucked. Well, yeah, but it's so bad that it sort of transcends that, you know? It's just one of those days.

Hit me with another song. Do it now. You don't want to wake up. Everything is fucked. Everybody sucks. You don't really know why, but you kind of want to justify ripping someone's head off. No human contact. But if you interact, your life is on contract.

You're still going. Best bet is to stay away, motherfucker. It's just one of those days. All right, throw a guitar riff and then we end the episode. Let's go. Wean, blam. I meant shy. Oh, sorry. I thought you were talking to me. God damn it.