Adeptus Ridiculous - Astronaut, Engineer, Scuba Diver, Liar, Murderer | Detective Ridiculous

Episode Date: February 26, 2023

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Welcome everybody to another episode of Detective Ridiculous. I am a host, Bricky, and I have a co-host, D.K., we are equal in this world, and we're going to talk all about the only thing worse than Warhammer, real life. Before we get into that, do check out our Patreon. Patreon.com slash Adeptist Ridiculous, where you can get bloopers if they happen in the episodes, access to our Discord with a great community of degenerates. they're okay though. And also HD posters and other great benefits at the higher tiers.

And if you want to buy any merchandise, check out Orchid8.com. Really excited. I am talking with a bunch of people and we might get expansion very soon into new possibilities. We are testing out beanies. We are testing out hats. We are testing out very comfortable gray sweat. wet pants. Ooh.

I've been wearing the same pair. With how cold it's been, I could go for some adeptist, ridiculous sweatpants. I've been wearing the same gray sweatpants for like four days in a row, which sounds gross, but like I want to give them the Warhammer test, which is I need to give them the lazy sack of shit test. And the true degenerate test, yeah. And honestly, they're holding. It feels good. But until then, we still have great posters.

merch shirts, dice, mats, etc. tons of stuff to grab. Orchid8.com. Link in the description. There's also a Twitter account for the site now. Orchid 8 shop is the at. Do you want to give it a follow? Throw there on there, whatever there's new merchandise that's coming out.

There will be tweets and stuff and, you know, you can just keep yourself up to date, all the new stuff, and all that great stuff. So, anywho, I got to say, D.K., I don't really know what in the goddamn hell. It's like, I don't know what's happening Because we are on the lines of like Mothman We still have some of those Mothwoman posters available And then it was like

Then it was like ooh, the vanishing The lighthouse people Yeah, there was the lighthouse last time And we're, we're, I am glad that you have no idea What we're talking about today Because it's, oh, it's a doozy This is gonna be a wild right It might go a little long

the sort of notes slash script that I have is a little longer than it usually is so we might go a little long day. Sorry, shy, but oh boy, strap yourselves in. Because today on Detective Ridiculous, we're not doing cryptids, and there's no real mystery behind this case. It was actually quite, quite easily solved, but nonetheless, it is like a combination of just. utterly horrific and just utterly brain-meltingly stupid. But today we're going to be talking about the case surrounding Chandler-Halderson. And this case happened not too long ago. When it was at his height and still happening, it was only like 2020-2020, so kind of at the height of COVID.

But we'll get into like more specific dates and time later. And as usual, why don't we go ahead and learn ourselves a little bit about this Chandler-Halderson character? Wait, wait, before you get too into it, please. This isn't Chris Chan, is it? No. Oh, no, no. You said hi to COVID, and I'm like, when did we find out all that stuff? And then you're like, Chandler, Chan, I'm like, oh, no, no, no, D.K., no, God, Christ can hell you.

It, ooh, I don't know, Shial have to answer this. Is this worse? I think this is. Well, anyway, they're both quite bad. Anyway, Chandler Holderson was a promising 23-year-old that lived in Madison, Wisconsin. He was attending the Madison Area Technical College and was attempting to get his degree in renewable resources engineering. Bro, this picture of him. I don't know if he's a good guy or a bad guy,

but I don't know if this is like a murder or he is the murderer or whatever, but I've got to say, so far, this man's vibe. Please, please do me a favor and remember that picture. Oh, no. Do me a big favor and remember that picture. It's got the vibe of that one meme of that guy chopping wood, with a really skinny white guy and like dancing to himself. You know what I'm talking about, right?

I never saw that meme. I got a guy. I never saw that meme of the skinny guy child. Oh, God damn. I hope you know what I'm talking about. Anyway, continue. Okay, so Chandler Halterson lived at home with his mother and father. His father, Bart Halterson, was 50 years old, and his mother, Krista Haltersson, was 53 years old. And I was going to say, if you want a mental picture of Chandler, he was pretty much your run-of-the-mill white college kid. Perfectly average, nothing that stood out, just run of the mill. And Chandler had been attending MATC, because saying Madison Area Technical College is going to get tired real quick,

since around 2017-2018-ish. And things were going pretty all right, you know, he was living the college life, but he was having a really hard time getting his actual transcript and his diploma from the college. His parents were pretty understanding. I mean, Chandler was emailing and arguing with the staff at this school, and he was trying to figure out, like, what's going on? Why don't I have my credits? Why don't I have my diploma?

But there always seemed to be an issue with, like, his credits not registering. They told him it was a clerical error, and it seemed like every time he tried to make an appointment with someone to sort of, you know, help me figure out what's going on. They had to reschedule or they had to cancel the meeting. Chandler even had his father talk to his college counselor over the phone about all the craziness that was going on with these clerical errors and these setbacks and why he hadn't graduated yet. And as you can imagine, it's pretty frustrating, man. I'm just trying to graduate.

I'm just trying to move on with my life. But at the same time, Chandler also had a lot of other really cool stuff going on. in his life. He had a pretty solid internship. That would turn into a really nice paying job at a place called American Family Insurance. He was also the lead scuba diver for the Madison County Police Department. You know, like the guys that have to go diving in after a car that's gone into the water or they need excavating evidence or stuff like that. So does he like, I'm sorry, what did you say he was majoring in again? he was trying to get his degree in the Renewable Resources Engineering Program.

So, you know, like solar panels, EV cars, stuff like that. So he was trying to be an engineer then, but specifically for solar. Okay, so shy says solar panels. Yeah, solar panels specifically. And I think that's also what he was doing at his insurance job, too, as he was trying to figure out where to put solar panels and stuff like that, you know? Okay, all right, all right. So would you call him an environmentalist in that case?

Was there, do we know enough about him to say like he was an advocate or something? Was he just wanted to do engineering? He just wanted to do engineering. Okay, all right. Yeah, I wouldn't call him an environmentalist. No, no. But anyway, even in the job department, despite having these two really cool jobs, Chandler couldn't get paid either.

Can you believe that he suffered even more clerical errors? And payroll told him that they had accidentally marked him down as being on hourly pay when he was supposed to be getting a salary. And because of this mix-up, there was like a $10,000 difference in what he was supposed to be getting paid. So, man, we got to take some time and figure this out and, you know. So Chandler's basically waiting on the world to stop making mistakes so we could properly get his degree and properly get paid for all his hard work. Because of course, his parents want him to be able to make it on his own, get what's owed to him, you know, stop screwing our son. So while waiting for all of this to happen for his degree, his diploma, waiting to get some paychecks so he can make it on his own,

Chandler actually strikes it big and manages to get hired by Elon Musk's Space X company. Okay. Wow. Yeah, that's a big deal. Like, I guess he got tired of waiting for payroll to figure stuff out and was like, you know what? I'm going to shoot for the stars, literally, and work at Elon Musk's big space company in Florida. I, I, we are all very much not fans of Elon Musk around here.

Oh, but to be fair, this was in 2020, 2020, when people still had at least a little bit of respect for SpaceX. And, uh, well, that, that's true, Shai. He, he, he did really well in the interviews and he was pretty sure he was going to get hired and he was going to move out to Florida. You know, his whole family, so proud of him. His 21-year-old girlfriend named Catherine, they call her cat. Yeah.

I would also argue real quick with Shai that, yeah, I actually have a whole shitload of respect for SpaceX stuff. It's the guy that I don't like. Yeah, fair enough. But I do like the actual, there's actually a location really close to us in Cali, and it's really cool. Really cool place. Cool. But anyway, so he wasn't hired yet,

or he was just going to the process? He had a bunch of interviews and it was like very promising. And I think he thought he was basically just, I'm a slam dunk for this. Because he is fully intending to move to Florida. He's planning to pack up all his things, get his girlfriend,

cat, and move his ass to Florida. So if he didn't get hired, he was like right on. the cusp because he was gonna pick up and leave. So his girlfriend is just so excited. She's telling everyone about the big move and it's just man this is perfect. Everything is coming up a mill house as it were. I love that. Thank you. Thank you very much. You're welcome but man Chandler just can't catch a break. It turns out that

his brother Mitchell has a bit of a health scare and needs to be rushed to the hospital. Turns out he's diagnosed as being a type one diabetic. So obviously the family are all very concerned with Mitchell and they're giving him extra attention until he gets back on his feet and can move on with his life. But things get even worse for Chandler because about a week later, he stumbles and falls down the stairs,

hitting his head hard enough to knock himself completely out. Oh my God, what is this made rolling? I know, right? What are these ones? Unfortunately, no one was there to help him either. So I assume when he came to, when he was like, whoa, everything is wrong, I don't feel good, he calls 911, and they rush him to the hospital. When Chandler comes back from the hospital, he says he has a brain bleed.

The fall was hard enough to cause spinal damage and seriously weaken his legs. They said they were going to have to drill into his skin. skull. He's obviously got memory problems. He can't drive a car anymore. He's probably going to need a colostomy bag in the future. And because of how serious this all is, he can't even get on a plane and fly. Okay. I hate to be mean, not mean, but laugh at that. Because everything you said is fucking awful. Just so terrible. But his dad in the center with the incredible dad shirt. And I'm assuming a brother with the Taco Bell. I just, and then there he is sad with the brace. It's just, it's, it's like, it's just got so many, so much mean potential. All right,

I'm sorry. It does. I do, I do not blame you for thinking that picture has a lot of mean potential. All right. Continue. So if he can't fly or drive, then he can't get out to Florida for that big SpaceX job he was so excited about. So essentially the SpaceX job is now off the table because he can't, he can't relocate. He's got so many new health problems now that that great SpaceX job is just gone. Now, of course, his family super supportive of him, especially his mother, Krista, who is doing everything she can to comfort him and aid her sickly son, however she can. He can. And his girlfriend is trying to think up alternatives or how they could possibly get to Florida with all these new health problems. Krista's family is so, so supportive of Chandler as well, but it's just not looking great for old Chandler.

So Chandler's family is getting used to the idea of needing to basically care for Chandler 24-7, driving him where he needs to go, cooking his meals, helping him try to walk, or I'm assuming wheel him around. when his legs aren't working right, the whole nine yards. Things are finally starting to return to normal, and you'd think life was finally done throwing L's at Chandler. But things actually managed to get worse. So Chandler's parents decide that for the 4th of July weekend, they were going to go on kind of this spur-of-the-moment trip up to these cabins that they owned a few hours away,

because I guess there was like this big parade, and festival and fireworks, and they apparently left with a couple of friends who they had just met. Took a bunch of cash, cold hard cash, and a bunch of liquor, and they went in this newly acquainted friend's car, so their cars were left behind and everything.

I'm not sure why they needed the cold hard cash, the physical cash. I mean, maybe because it was a parade and festival. They took cash because, you know, it's just booze that take cash only or something like that. I don't know. I know.

I mean, well, I mean, this festival kind of thing, right? Like, you often easier to like, they have people selling food and stuff. Yeah, yeah, the booths and stuff, sure. Yeah. It's also worth noting that Chandler's parents owned this particular cabin, and it was actually built by his grandparents. Specifically, it was located in a place called Langlade County. Langley County, Wisconsin

on a lake. So it's like it's a real nice spot for a Fourth of July retreat. Anyway, so they leave Chandler at home to look after their dogs. I assume Chandler probably volunteered because he was having a hard time moving around so he probably wouldn't

have a lot of fun at the festival. His parents probably need a break from their jobs and taking care of your kid 24-7 has got to be exhausting so they just need a break. And Chandler's amazing girlfriend would be around to make sure that any health needs were taken care of. But cell service is a little spotty up at that cabin, so it's really hard to get in touch with

them, which was something that Chandler's brother Mitchell and a few of their close friends were really concerned with, because apparently Krista is this big time texter. She texts about everything. So not getting some kind of text message or call about this trip was really unusual to Mitchell. But eventually, on July 4th, Krista would send a text message to Chandler saying that they got to the cabin safely and they were enjoying the parade. And that was the last time anyone would hear from Chandler's parents. They never came back from the 4th of July weekend. Oh, lovely. His parents had disappeared, and Chandler had no idea where they were. Their phones were dead,

and none of the neighbors had seen anything. This guy rivals Isaac Clark for just getting the shit end of the deal. Okay, but you want to hear the really messed up part now? Oh, oh, excellent. Oh, we're 18 minutes in. Great. Continue. Yes. All that stuff I just told you? Yes. is a complete lie. Oh, you pulled the Alpha Legion thing on me, you son of a bitch. Now, hear me out. Let me guess.

This is the fabricated story that was told by someone. Hear me out. So all of this stuff isn't just some big lie that I made up on the spot for this episode. Yeah. Those were actually the lies that Chandler Halterson told his friends and family about his life. That was the life that Chandler wanted everyone

to believe he was living. Oh, his life. Yes, he was lying about all of these things. In reality, Chandler was a pathetic loser that didn't want to work for

anything and just wanted to play video games 24-7. All right, all right. You hit that pathetic loser a little hard and I'm not gonna and and then you say wanting to do nothing to play video games 24 seven so I'm not gonna lie I'm feeling a little I'm feeling the video games that make him a pathetic loser okay well the lying does obviously no shit video games again I me too I if I could

I play video games 24 seven more than likely but Chandler he was full on addicted but we'll get into that later. So, let's go over Chandler's life again, but this time let's sort through the lies and talk about what really happened to his parents. Okay, so I'd like to start with, did he actually attend the college? Well, that's actually the first thing I was going to get into. So good, good eye, good eye. So Chandler Halterson did attend Madison Area Technical College. Sort of. Because even when Chandler was going to class, he was never taking enough credits to even be considered a full-time student. When he was actually going, he was only taking enough courses to be considered a part-time student.

Between the spring of 2018 and like summer 2020, he would sign up for a few classes and then drop them. He would withdraw for them, or he would just outright fail them. I'm assuming he would fail them because he was too busy playing video games to be bothered with going to college. I'm sorry, I have to ask. Do we know which video games he was addicted to? Yeah, actually, I'll mention it later too, but it seems like the big one was escape from Tarkov. Oh, absolute degenerate. I knew it's nothing good comes out of Tarkov.

He's living rent free at his parents' house, to play video games all day. This was paradise for him. So he starts lying about his failed school life. Probably tells his parents, oh, look, I'm a full-time student, man. Class is just so rough. It's so difficult. I'm in this IT program. It's just come on, man. I don't have time to get a job and pay for stuff, you know? It's a believable lie. I mean, that's what I told. I told. I told. I was my parents when I was going to college. Granted, I actually went to college,

but it's a believable lie is the point we're trying to get across. I went to college too. Do you have a degree, D.K.? Yes, yes, I do. I don't. Ooh, that's okay. You still made it. You still made something, you know?

And Chandler needed a believable lie because after a while, his parents are like, dude, when are you going to graduate? Especially his father, Bart. Bart Haltersson was an accountant that specialized in working with small businesses, doing taxes, stuff like that. Now, you might remember me telling you that Chandler was going back and forth with

MATC over emails about where his transcript was, what sort of problems they were having with his transcript and stuff like that. Chandler even had emails that he showed him. mother and father with representatives from MATC. All of those emails? Completely faked. Tarkov. Chandler created fake email accounts of people and would email these fake accounts back and

forth and back and forth as if he was having an actual conversation with real people and then forward those emails to his parents to really try to sell the idea that this his college was screwing him over. Oh, wait, wait. So he made the emails or he had friends to the emails? He made the email accounts himself and was emailing himself back and forth to make it look like a real conversation and then forwarded it to his parents. Lease psychotic Tarkoff player.

Now, the email addresses were really, obviously, fake, because, None of them had a dot edu address at the end of them. Chandler was legit using fake Gmail and proton email accounts for this forgery. Right, but his parents, I'm assuming, are not the most tech savvy. Well, I mean, I'm sure there are, but my thought process is like, what parent wants to immediately be like, oh, why isn't it dotGDU? Why isn't it Gmail? Of course you're going to believe your son.

your son's like oh yeah this is with the counselor like they didn't have any reason not to believe him they didn't have any reason to be suspicious at this point in time right no yeah that yeah i guess nothing really to be yeah it's just like oh it's a gmail account everybody's got a gmail account these days maybe they were just doing it from their personal um one more small thing to keep in mind is that the fake people chanler created at the college uh he named them alissa brant Daniel Spieth and Aaron Hoover Also remember how I said Chandler Let his dad speak to his counselor over the phone

Oh, yes I kid you not Chandler bought a burner phone with prepaid minutes And called his own father Pretending to be a college counselor To further attempt to sell this lie Did he just like put on a fake voice? Was he just like, oh hello, it's me

counselor man. Your son is the greatest. Yeah, and they would find out later in Bart's Planner or in an email that he sent, I think, his wife. He was like, you know, that counselor sounds a lot like Chandler. It's weird. Oh, my God. So he didn't even do a good fake voice. Even his dad was like, you know, sounds kind of like Chandler. Well, he calls him Chas, but still.

So Chandler can't keep this charade going forever. So he decides he needs something new to make his parents kind of forget about all this college nonsense and the fact that he's not actually going. The next lie is that he got this amazing internship at American Family Insurance that turns into this just fantastic paying job. But the problem is jobs are supposed to be. to pay you money. And seeing how the job is fake, it's kind of hard to collect a paycheck from that. What's worse is that, as we already said,

Chandler's father is an accountant. So he's constantly like, why the hell aren't you getting paid? This is number one bullshit. How can they screw you like this? Oh, hence the line about the hourly thing. Oh, I'm piecing it together. He makes more.

phony email accounts pretends to have more phony conversation with HR about how there was a mistake with his pay, how they thought it was hourly, and then, oh, the direct deposit got messed up because, you know, when we finally deposited the money, there was so much money, the bank thought it was fraud. But he's still forwarding all these emails to his dad, and he's like, hey man, there's nothing I can do. Look at all these errors. look at all these mistakes.

They keep happening. What can I do? But the lies keep getting out of control. This American family insurance lie can only last so long before he needs to explain why he has no money, why he can't help out with the bills, why he can't pay rent or anything like that. So I guess Chandler decides,

Screw it! Let's go to town with the lie of massive proportions. And let's just tell everyone I got a job at SpaceX and just move my ass to Florida. which of course everyone super proud of him it's just wow SpaceX our boy now this is one massive lie that he has to get out of because obviously he doesn't have a job in Florida

I am he doesn't have a job in general that's true I'm almost positive he can't afford to move out there and he never survive on his own with his girlfriend out in Florida So he's got to come up with something co-wick, because I think he gave himself, which is, he gave himself like a week or something before he had to move to Florida or something. And I hate to call this a stroke of luck because it is such a shitty situation. But in Chandler's eyes, he gets so lucky when his brother has to be admitted to the hospital. according to Mitchell, he was just going in for some routine blood work, and they found out that he was testing positive for being type 1 diabetic.

He needs to get hospitalized, get all of his levels in check. You know, we talked about it. By the way, Chandler's brother Mitchell has his life all sorted out. He's engaged. He actually works in tech at a local Wisconsin company, bought his own house, and... Is his fiancé, the lady on the left? Probably.

I would assume so, yeah, and obviously that's Chandler's girlfriend on the right. Right. But yeah, he has his life properly sorted out. But anyway, when Mitchell is in the hospital, like we said before, he's kind of being doted on. Like, they mentioned that his mother was calling her close friends, just crying and so concerned for her poor boy, because she loves her kids. So while Chandler is using Mitchell being in the hospital for an excuse to delay moving out to Florida,

this is also probably where he gets an idea on how he can get out of that Florida lie, and how he can get out of that SpaceX lie. He saw the way his family was waiting on Mitchell, doting on him, and trying to make his life as easy as possible, you know? It's just like, man, I wish I had that. which is probably why about exactly a week later, Chandler has this great fall down the stairs that nobody actually saw. And remember, Chandler claimed to have all these crazy symptoms,

a brain bleed, hematoma, inability to use his legs, spinal nerve damage, I can't drive, I'm going to need a colostomy bag, I can't fly out to Florida. All of it. Didn't have doctor's notes? No. All of it was a big lie. He came back from the doctor and he had this fake neck brace on.

And he was just like, guys, guys, look at me. I guess I get, what's that, what's like the image of Peter Griffin with his knee? But Peter Griffin actually stubbed his knee. I mean, didn't he, did he not actually fall down? the stairs? Nobody saw it. A lot of people are wondering if he even bothered falling down the stairs. Oh, Shai said, doctor said mild concussion at worst. It was making you assume that he hit him since. He went to the doctor and he said, hey, Doc, this is what happened and I'm not feeling great. And they were like, well, at the worst, you probably got a mild concussion then.

Because he described what happened and the doctor was like, well, it sounds like a mild. concussion, but you're probably fine. You don't need a neck brace. You can just everything, yeah, you know, maybe we'll do some x-rays to make sure, but whatever. That shitter. Yep. Oh, no, dad, I can't go to Florida anymore. I guess I'm going to have to stay and recover in my room playing escape from Tarkov. Pretty much. This is his golden goose of a lie. He just needs to act a little forgetful, pretend he's got weak legs, move around kind of weakly and slowly and oh man

everything is so painful and he's home free, play video games all he wants and no one would think to question his injuries or his inability to work or pay for anything but there is one event that would happen

an event that would pull the card from the bottom of his house of lies and have it all come collapsing down on him see Bart was still wondering why Chandler hadn't graduated from MATC. We're coming up on the 4th of July week in 2021, by the way.

So what Bart decides to do is call MATC and pretend to be Chandler, thinking that if he did it, he could be more forceful and get some answers on what was going on with Chandler and figure out why he hadn't graduated yet. And Bart talks to basically this entry-level support guy working the customer. His name is Omar Job. And you can literally go listen to the, I think it's a 15-minute call they have on YouTube. At first, Bart sounds pretty annoyed and a little mean

because he's calling with the mindset that this college has been screwing his son for like a year or more by not giving him his transcript or his diploma. But as time goes on and Omar starts looking into their database, base, he finds that Chandler has an outstanding balance of over $2,000 that he owes to the school. So Bart's thinking, okay, well, if I pay that, I can get Chandler's transcript and diploma, right? But as they keep digging, Bart is finally told that Chandler isn't enrolled in any sort of

IT, solar, or renewable energy resource program. If you listen to the call, you can hear Bart get really confused and he goes much quieter and he kind of starts you can tell he's kind of piecing together what's going on even though he kind of doesn't want to believe it so then he asked if he can speak to an elissa brant daniel spith erin hoover those were the people that chanler was talking to so if he could just talk to them maybe he could sort this out he's then told that none of them work there there is no one by those names that works at the school. And the last words

you hear from just the most defeated sounding father ever, because it's probably dawned on him exactly what's going on. All he says is, okay, that'll be it then. Oh, I was hoping it would be something

angrier, like, God damn it, or something. Oh, no. Quick side note. Chandler is such a doofus. that he actually misspelled Alyssa Brandt's fake name in several of his own emails.

Oh my God. I think his fake email address for her name was like Elissa Brandt at gmail.com, like B-R-A-N-D-T. But there are several emails where he signs off as Alyssa Brand, B-R-A-N-D. As you'll discover, Chandler, not the sharpest tool in the shed. Anyway, so Bart texted Chandler on June 29th, I think at around 3.30, saying that he had spoken to Omar Job.

And in Bart's planner, he had planned a meeting with MATC staff for Chandler and himself on July 1st to sort of sort out this mess and probably make Chandler come clean, pay that outstanding fine, and figure out a way to make Chandler actually a time. attend class. Bart would also send Chandler a text that simply said, I'm ready whenever you are. I'm assuming in regards, I'm assuming in regards to the meeting at MATC that Bart probably

very angrily told Chandler about. Now, of course, no one but Chandler knows exactly what was said when his father confronted him after learning that his own son has been lying to him for years about going to college,

graduating, his jobs, and just everything. I have to assume things get pretty heated because this wasn't some, this isn't like a little white lie. This was his whole life. So Chandler would then send his girlfriend a series of texts on the morning of July 1st, between 7.30 and about 8 a.m. And he texts her stuff like hardly slept. Stuff hasn't been going really well for me,

waiting for the next thing to fuck me over. I just had this great future plan and it's falling apart. Wait, wait, I'm sorry. This great future plan? This great future plan? I thought the same thing. Does his girlfriend also not know a thing? His girlfriend is completely unaware.

She doesn't know it either? She doesn't know. So at this point, the only person that knows is Bart. Bart's the only one that's figured it out. It's just Chandler? Holy shit. Yeah, because Bart's the one that called MATC. Bart's the only one that knows.

Oh, my God. Then he sends a really weird text at around 1 p.m. that afternoon. After sending those first texts, his text is, I overheard that they, his parents, might go to the cabin with their friends. But I don't know. And it was more than likely that it was at this exact time at around 1 p.m. that Chandler decides he's going to kill his parents. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he used their phone to text so they got their safe.

Because about 45 minutes later, Chandler Halterson would shoot his father in the back several times with an SKS rifle. Oh, that's a very big bullet. Oh my God. It was never confirmed how he killed his mother Krista, but when she was, she came home a few hours later from work, Chandler would kill her to. Probably with the same gun, but forensics or whoever could never confirm the method used. And if you're wondering how that's possible, we'll talk about it a little later.

But consider this a bit of a late warning that the stuff coming up gets a little icky and a little gross. Wait, wait, please, I have to know. Does it have anything to do with the knife he has in that first Captain Morgan looking picture? picture? Um, I mean, it might actually. Oh, no. It might. I don't know for sure, but it might. So it should be noted that after killing his father, Chandler would text his mother saying, Dad's phone is dead. Text or call me. I have an extra hour of work. Pick up some soda on the way home. I'm assuming because he needed a little extra, extra time to, you know, clean up a little bit. And his poor mother, not knowing any of the wiser, just responds,

Kay, I can with a smiley face. So, obviously, Bart and Krista didn't go on some spur of the moment Fourth of July trip to their cabin and Langlade. It was another horrible lie that Chandler came up, to try and cover the fact that he had just killed his parents. This also puts Chandler on quite a time crunch because basically he has maybe a week before people start noticing his parents aren't showing up to work. They're not answering their phone. Let's go ask Chandler what happened.

And shortly after killing his parents, Chandler makes a note on his iPhone that's literally titled Weekend Chores. And it has stuff like H202 and Lemon, move your shit upstairs. Get a job. Now he decides to get a job and clean the floor. Chandler is also seen on July 1st going to several gas stations buying large bags of ice, presumably to put his parents' bodies on it. Right, but in his own mind could be utilized as a, oh, I'm getting the ice for the trip kind of thing or choice. Maybe, but like, I think at this point, he's just like, well, I don't have to lie anymore because you can see in these pictures he's not wearing his neck brace. He's not limping around. He's driving and all this stuff.

So the lies are kind of sort of out the window. And he's paying by card. True. Yep, he's paying by card. Yep. That's like, that's like 101. Okay. So when he gets home after buying these large bags of ice, he also buys a tarp from a hardware store.

Things are going to get pretty icky, like I already warned, because Chandler starts to dismember the corpses of his parents. He uses an axe, a sawblade, handsaw, bunch of tools in the shed, you already saw the scissors and shears that Shire that Shai posted in chat, and pretty much anything he could get his hands on to hack up a corpse. I warned you about that Tarkov. Which is just like that hacking up your parents' body is just like, I can't even imagine.

I feel like I'm getting a little jaded with the world lately, because I'm one. I'm like, yep, that's about what I expected. So now Chandler is just kind of sitting on the ice remains of his parents. And their blood is obviously everywhere. He tries his hardest to clean it up. But even when he kind of does clean it up, he still got to get rid of the bodies, or I guess the pieces of the body.

So this is going to be the first in a long list of, utterly stupid, but absolutely horrific things that Chandler does to try to get away with just this awful sadistic murder. His first thought is he's going to take the dismembered pieces of his parents and basically try to cremate them in the family's fireplace at home. Oh no, oh no, he's stupid. Very stupid. And according to a investigators, Chandler had quite literally taken a tape measurer to check and

make sure that the chunks of his parents remains were the right size to fit in the fireplace. Because you didn't follow my instructions, says Walter White. And as you can imagine, this does not go at

all the way Chandler was hoping it would. There are actual security cameras. in neighbors' houses that can see this crazy light in the living room go absolutely wild at all hours of the night. Reason being is that the fire is raging out of control because I hate saying this, but the human fat and flesh is rendering and burning the fire way hotter than that. any residential fireplace can handle. The paint on the sides of this fireplace

are literally blistering away because of how insanely hot this fire is burning. At some point, Chandler comes downstairs and notices the fire is just out of control and he has to put it out. One of the problems... Oh, go ahead. We basically have this situation.

Yes, that is. exactly it. That's exactly what it looked like. Because you, like, you can see the footage, uh, because all of this stuff. This is 2020, 2020,

one. Most of this video security camera stuff, you can find it on YouTube. Oh no. Oh, no. You can see the night cam footage of these lights going absolutely fucking wild.

Okay. I'm gonna wait till I have to the episode. Because I, my morbid curiosity is affecting me now. It's, I get it. And so again, at some point, Chandler comes down and he notices that this fire is out of control. But one of the problems is this is like one of those residential fireplaces, right?

So it's got that Pyrex glass door in front of it. And this door has been super, superheated. And I think anybody that's ever had like a Pyrex pan that's come out like super hot out of the oven, if you put water on it, it cracks and it explodes. So this little door actually shatters, and Chandler cuts his foot pretty badly on the glass while dealing with the fire. Eventually, he does put out this roaring fire, which one of the neighbors said smelled kind of weird and reminded him of a pig roast at a barbecue. I've heard from the morbid stuff that the burning of human flesh is like not the worst smell in the world. It's like burnt popcorn

Until you know what it is And then you're like Oh my God But I remember that Because I remember having to get something Burned off of my finger It was like a wart It was like a wart or something

And I remember I was like It was like someone burnt popcorn I thankfully I have never Had to smell it in any facet And I hope it stays that way For the rest of my life So

The fireplace cremation Very clear did not work. Now he has to figure out something else to do with the remaining body parts. The next morning, he is again seen clear as day at a hardware store buying some tarps. They've got the security footage and everything. Again, naturally, no neck brace. He's walking just fine, driving just fine, because out in the public like this, his stupid little lie doesn't mean shit. But he also knows that his girlfriend is coming

to spend the night, so he really needs to get things in order and make sure that the house is as clean as it can possibly be. He also asked his girlfriend to bring some hydrogen peroxide and a swiffer mop so that he

can clean up the glass, the broken glass, and the blood from his cut toe. He also tries to pretend that the reason the glass broke, is because he was playing fetch with his dog and the dog just got so crazy, ran into the glass and poof.

But wait, does his girlfriend still think that he's like neck-braced and immobile? Yes, his girlfriend still thinks that he is neck-braced, immobile and has all these issues. He still has to put up this act in front of her and her family and his friends. Damn it, I was hoping he would fuck up and she would arrive and he would be like, Oh, crap.

Ah, shit. Damn it. All right. So this is, also, this is currently July 2nd, 2021, if you were wondering. And apparently Chandler did a pretty good job because his girlfriend stays the night. And from all reports I've seen, she doesn't think anything is weird. I think the only thing she noticed is, hey, Chandler, you've got a new freezer. Hmm.

that went wait was there not blood on the ground was it was no apparently he cleaned it up well enough that was the fireplace not like like charred black oh yes the fireplace is charred black but all she knows is like oh there was just a fire in there whatever and he's cleaned up most of the blood and he says that the dog ran into the door so that's why it's broken so you know i i genuinely cannot tell if he's a or terrible liar. Because, like... Little from column A, little from column B, I feel like. Oh, like...

God, oh, my goodness gracious. Mm-hmm. So when his girlfriend leaves in the morning, Chandler gets right back to work. I think Chandler thought about taking the remains to the local dump, but since it was the Fourth of July weekend, the dump was closed.

So he couldn't just off his parents into the local landfill and have it get covered by trash. So instead, Chandler decides he's going to spread the remaining body parts of his own mother across the Wisconsin River. And after that, it just goes and hangs out with his girlfriend and some of his buddies. You know, he gets food and he's just chilling. Like everything's fine. I'm just living a totally normal life.

After all that horrific shit that he had just done, it's fine. And, you know, whatever. I'm just, you know, just having a good time with my girl. So now we've come up to the 4th of July, 2021. For the most part, he just kind of hangs out with his girlfriend. Her family has this really nice and actually really large farm property with a nice big pool. So it was like the ideal hangout spot on the 4th of July. He does ask his girlfriend's parents if he can come back the next day,

by himself to use their pool to rehab his weak-ass legs. Because he still, like we said, he still has to put up this act in front of his girlfriend, her family, and his friends. Now, if you remember from before, told you that Chandler got a text message from his mother on the 4th of July saying that they had made it to the cabin, cell service was bad, but man, we're really enjoying the parade. Chandler sent that text message to himself from his dead mother's phone. I'm curious.

Oh, curious, curious, though. This might come up later, but... Okay, okay, okay. If I'm jumping the gun, I apologize. I'll let you know. I'll let you know, don't work. Does the phone not have, like, a location setting? Oh, we will talk about that, actually.

Ah, okay, all right, yes, yes, continue. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. But, yeah, after texting himself from his... mother's his dead mother's phone. He spends the rest of the day celebrating the 4th of July, watching fireworks, everything's normal. Oh man, my life is great. On July 5th, there was a trash pickup at the Halterson's home. It's unclear if there was any evidence or if any body parts were in the trash that was picked up because trying to find something in a landfill like a week later is, I have to imagine impossible.

Chandler also goes back to his girlfriend's farm because he said he wanted to use the pool for the rehab. But his girlfriend's mom found his actions really weird because she noticed that the tarp over the pool was never taken off. And when she saw Chandler leave, he wasn't wet at all. She also noticed that he and his car were out in a weird spot kind of near the woods just beyond their farm. That's because Chandler wasn't using the pool at all. He was dragging a tarp that had his dead father's torso wrapped in it out to the woods just beyond their farm to hide the remains. Oh, and the SKS rifle he used to shoot his father in the back? He hid that in one of the storage barns on his girlfriend's farm.

On his girlfriend's farm? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And some of the bloody rags that he used to try and clean the evidence from the crime scene, threw those in a trash can in his girlfriend's barn too. Which came back to him because those bloody rags, he put them in a plastic target bag, the same bag that he specifically asked his girlfriend to bring him that had the hydrogen peroxide in it.

Oh my God, he's setting the girl up, or covering his tracks to do so. Also, yo, good on the mom for being one of the first people to really notice some bizarre shit. Well, the thing is The reason that bag had her name on Is because she did like one of those In-store pickups where like you order it online

Or call it in So the outside of the bag literally had her name Prented on it Like like Instacard or one of those things Yeah, exactly This son of a bitch was using the charity And good faith of his girlfriend's family To basically dump all the evidence he could

By the way, the girlfriend, Cat, her mother's name was Dulce and her mother's partner's name is Crescent, if you needed to know specifics, and they are all just the sweetest, nicest people in the entire world. And they, when they still believed in Chandler, they would do anything. Dolce took them all out to this big dinner to celebrate him getting the SpaceX job and paid for everything. They are just the nicest people in the world. Oh, I'm sorry. Shai just said, after he killed his dad, he went to a coffee shop and used his dad's free coffee card.

Oh my God. I didn't see that, but I believe it. Chandler's an idiot. He killed his dad, went to the coffee shop and was like, oh shit, dad's got to buy five, get one free. Punch me. I go ahead and use it. I guess in his mind he thought it was okay because he's like, oh, you know, like they're just missing. Like, you know, and that's my dad's.

That's why I got the card. No big deal. We've hit levels of brough that never before seen. Believe me. It actually gets kind of worse. Oh, my lord. All right. All right.

So, you're probably wondering why Chandler Hollerson even had an S-KS rifle to begin with. Like, where did he get the murder weapon that he's stashing in his girlfriend's barn? No. Wait, wait. I thought they just owned it. They lived on a farm. Like, they're the kind of rule. No, oh my Lord.

This is Chandler's S-KS rifle. Oh, my. Okay, all right. So, like we've already stated, he was a video game junkie, completely addicted, and really the main reason he went down this awful rabbit hole of lies to begin with. He has this one specific friend, his best friend that he loved to play games with. His name is Andrew Smith. He was an American that was stationed in Germany with the military.

He could play with Chandler because, you know, Chandler wakes up, plays video games. Oh, of course there's someone in Germany that I can play with. And like I already said, they adored playing Escape from Tarkov. And they were such good friends that when Andrew Smith came back to the States, he went to Wisconsin to visit his good buddy Chandler. And when he visited his good buddy Chandler, he brought him a gift. It was Chandler's favorite type of gun from the games they play. A Russian-made S-KS rifle with 400 rounds of ammunition.

Oh my God, 400? Yes. It's like this, it's like one of those ammo crates you see in games, like the metal one where the top opens up and it's just filled with ammo. So there are a couple weapons that I know certain, like, people who really like guns love to use on games. The ASVal is a really popular one. And I'm pretty sure the SKS was all.

also on the, because I think it fires 762, if I'm not mistaken. I have no idea. 400 rounds of 760s. They're quite large, bullets. So, in lieu of doing a bunch of tedious paperwork to prove that he gave the gun to Chandler as a gift, he decides to do something else. He took a picture of Chandler's Wisconsin ID right next to the serial number of the rifle for documentation that the gun was no longer his.

I don't, I don't think of work that way. I mean, it doesn't, but this is how Chandler got the SKS rifle, and when they find this this SKS rifle, they know it's Chandler's because guess what, there's the serial number right next to his ID. That's, okay. Yeah. So Chandler obviously can't keep this charade going forever. People are starting to ask questions about where his missing parents are.

His poor girlfriend, Kat, she is worried sick about Chandler's pain, literally worried sick. She is so emotionally distraught that she can't stay at work and she has to ask her boss for sickly because she just wants to make sure that Chandler's parents are found. This girlfriend needs to be protected, dude. She is such a baller. She absolutely. She sounds so nice. She actually urges Chandler to go to the police, file a missing persons report.

Do whatever you can to find them. And would you believe it? Chandler goes to the police and he files a missing person's report for his parents that went missing over the 4th of July weekend. I mean, Chandler even speaks to news crews that are reporting on his missing parents and feeding them this made-up story about not knowing where they are.

Also, I realize this episode is getting pretty long, so I'm gonna speed things up a little bit here, but Chandler left behind so much evidence to be used against him that he wasn't even close. to getting away with the murder of his parents. The level of stupidity involved is just mind-boggling, so really strap yourself in.

Oh, I'm strapped. While he tried really hard to clean up his home, forensics still found traces of so much blood in the Halterson home. It was basically splattered everywhere once you turned on a black light. Well, specifically, they had to use something called luminal. and the black light, because I'm not sure if blood shows up just from a regular all black light, but you spray this luminal and it's like, hey, this area was either covered in blood or it was covered in a crazy amount of bleach, one way or another, something funky happened here.

Chandler tried to use the cut on his foot and his excuse for that. He also claimed that his father had skin psoriasis, that he would just scratch bloody and just let gush all over the place. Just awful. Lovely. I'm assuming there has to be some kind of, oh, I don't know. Doctor's note about skin psoriasis? I don't know, but he didn't really have it.

He was just lying his pants off. No, his pants. And remember the fireplace fiasco? Chandler replaced all the ashes and put new logs in and stuff like that. But he quite literally looked. left a piece of his father's skull in the fireplace. This guy, he's, he's hidden, like, he's hitting, like, he's hitting all, all the marks for shit killer.

Yep, there was also, like, an ash trap that he, I guess, missed in the fireplace, and they found a ton of bone fragments that they identified as being from human hands, feet, and, of course, from human skulls. Oh, hey, remember the SKS rifle and all that amy, you? munition Chandler was given. As a gift to his brother Mitchell when he was in the hospital, Chandler gave his brother a bullet

with the words, get well soon. I think it was either written on it or it was etched on the bullet, but he gave it to him as a present. That sounds like the biggest threat I could ever hear. I know, right? That doesn't sound like a really nice get well soon present. Oh my God.

Anyway, Mitchell hands this bullet over to the police and they literally matched it with one of the bullet casings they actually found in the Halterson home. I don't remember if it was just hidden in the basement or if it was under a desk or something, but they found a bullet casing. They matched it, and they matched it with all of the ammunition rounds that they found, too. They also found his mother's ID card and her cell phone stuffed in a shoe, rolled in plastic,

I think also a towel and some tin foil in the Holderson garage where Chandler tried to hide it. I can't take this kid. I can't do it. The Tarkov was bad enough, but I can't. Oh yeah. Remember how Chandler texted himself from his mother's phone on July 4th to say that they had made it to the cabin and they were enjoying the parade? Mm-hmm. Yeah.

That parade happened on July 3rd, so he really screwed himself. Oh, he didn't even get the dates, right? He didn't even know what date the parade was. Oh, man. And once they had the phone, they could use the data to find that the phone had been used by a local cell tower and never left Wisconsin. It was the same cell tower that was pinged on Chandler's phone for receiving the text. This got video games will rot your brain. I'm going to go outside more.

I'm going to stop playing these video games. I can't take it. So stupid. It gets worse. They also discovered Chandler's Google search history. Oh my God. Please don't tell me. It's like how to hide bodies and stuff.

Please. Well, what he was looking, he was looking up, Wisconsin body found, dismembered body found, dismembered body found Wisconsin River and stuff like that. He was Googling to see if they had found his dead parents. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. They have all of this security camera footage of him buying ice, buying tarps. Again, no neck brace, walking, fine.

And guess what? When they found Bart Halterson's torso wrapped in the tarp in the woods, they had such a good picture of Chandler in the hardware store, and they had testimony from the clerk who sold him the tarp, they could literally match the exact tarp he bought with the one his father's torso was wrapped in. I will... And when he was scattering his mother's limbs

across the Wisconsin River, apparently him and his girlfriend used Snapchat a lot. And his girlfriend has one of those... I guess it's a locator thing so she can see exactly where he is. I don't know if it was because she was, like, worried about him being unfaithful or if he had been before,

Or I don't know if that's just something couples do because I'm just like, I'm maidenless. It's like, you can just like turn it on. And it's just like, where are your friends at? They're going around doing stuff. It's kind of just like knowing where your friends are. Yeah, I don't use Snapchat. Because like you have an iPhone location and stuff, you know. Yeah, I don't use Snapchat.

And I haven't had a girlfriend in over a decade. So I don't know what the kids are doing with Snapchat. But on one of the days after the murder, when he said he was going to be doing chores all day, his location was pinged at the Wisconsin River. And his girlfriend gave full cooperation of the police because she, she's so worried about Chandler's parents and she wants him to be found. She's like, oh yeah, take the data from my phone, use whatever you got to use, and they were like, well, hmm, why is Chandler over at the Wisconsin River? And when they investigated that area, they did actually find his mother's like dismembered legs and they found a foot, I think, on the riverbanks. actually, not just somewhere.

It turned out that he dumped them in one of his favorite hangout spots. It was near the Wisconsin River and kind of near a lake that he would take his friends to whenever they visit. Kind of like the cool kid's spot. Only my buds and I know about this spot. And do you see that picture I told you to remember? Yep. Do you see that really unique-looking tree, how it's kind of hollow and has kind of that V shape? Yeah.

About 10 feet away from that is where he stashed his mother's body. Oh, lovely. Just excellent. Yeah. Damn it. Yep. So I think one of the police actually saw this picture, or there's another picture of him hanging off the tree. And they were like, huh, there's a pretty unique looking tree.

I'm going to go search that area and bang, they found the body in his hangout spot that only him and his buds knew about. I no longer really care much about Chandler at this point. I'm actually entirely invested in the girlfriend. I want to know that she got help and she's okay. Because she's been like the absolute gigat Chad, this whole damn story. She dodged the Chandler-Halderson bullet. Oh my God. I hate how literally you could say that too.

Oh my God, you're right. I didn't intend it like that. I just saw that Chai posted it before and I was like, oh yeah, that sounds about right. Oh, that's so literal. Oh, anyway, so with all of this evidence, naturally they finally brought him in for questioning, and they let him talk for like an hour and a half. They ask him questions about his missing parents, where he thinks they might be, why there would be so much blood on the floor of his house and stuff like that.

All the while, he's still really playing up that he has this head injuries talking real slow, and sometimes he's like, oh man, where are we talking? talking about and he's still trying to salvage this absolute catastrophic screw-up of a life he's had and after like an hour and a half of listening to him and sort of indulging him and kind of playing good cop the investigators are like look dude we have 20 pages of notes for me talking up until this point we're going to start with a fresh piece of paper and you're going to tell us the truth we know where your parents are we know they're not with us we know you're not us the truth. I'm not BSing you. It's time to tell us your side of the story because this is

the only chance you're going to get. And Chandler just instantly freezes. He cannot lie his way out of this one and all he can do is spread out the word lawyer, lawyer. And they're like, you want a lawyer? It's lawyer. And then they cuff him and they take him away. You can legit watch like the whole hour and 47 minute interrogation on YouTube. Actually, you can watch Chandler Halterson's entire goddamn trial on YouTube from start to sentencing. But there's like, like I said, there's a tsunami of evidence against Chandler. And there's like nothing his defense team can do about it. Like they try some stupid stuff like, oh, well, you know, when you use the lumenol on the floor, right?

it only shows that it could have been bleach or it could have been blood. There's nothing to suggest that it was blood. And maybe this was all just a horrific accident. And then they're just like, yeah, what? Chandler Hollerson's dad accidentally shot himself in the back? Like, it's not an accident. And like, I'm not sure, shy, correct me if I'm wrong. Did they even call a single witness to try to plead Chandler's innocence?

I don't think they did. It was so cut and dried. There was no defending it. He had no chance. I remember watching one of the videos that Chai gave me for resources, and they were like, he would have saved himself so much trouble. Like, with how bad he was at this, he might as well have just put his dead parents' bodies out on the front lawn and let them take him, because it would have saved him the horrendous

nightmare of doing what he did. So obviously he gets life without possibility of parole. And yeah, like I said, all the witnesses could help Chandler. He made them up. They don't exist. But I'm going to go ahead and leave you with the last statement from the judge as he gave this piece of shit, Chandler Halterson, a life sentence without possibility of parole, only because apparently the death penalty. isn't legal in Wisconsin.

He said, I have to, for this sentence, ensure that the only time Mr. Halterson comes back into the community is to have the privilege of a burial that he denied his parents. That's a good, nice job. I hope that, I hope that judge, like, thought of that line for a while. That, the judge is, he was so, like, you could see how much that this case affected the judge. Like, he was, like, heartbroken. And apparently, Chandler's grandmother was pleading for parole.

I'm not entirely, like, poof, it's brutal. I think Kat's mom Dulce might have actually had a few calls in prison with Chandler because she's such a nice person that despite everything, she still prayed for him to get rehabilitation. Uh, yeah, she went with the, um, uh, he's unwell mentally version instead of accepting, like, he's just a fucking awful monster. I think she might just be such a good person that just despite it all, she just wants everyone to be better. I'm not entirely sure. I just know that she did keep in contact, um, with, with Chandler a little bit. Uh, and, and he was, he showed no emotions during the whole trial.

He's just stone-faced, stoic looking forward. No, no remorse, no nothing. And the crazy thing is Chandler led a privileged life. There were no signs of abuse. It didn't seem like his parents ever really, like, severely yelled at him or did anything awful to him. He just... But yeah, that is Chandler Halterson.

God damn. It's a... Like, you know what I imagine that when people think of like, the boomer generation thinks of people who do nothing but play video games all day? This is like their picture perfect person. Oh, yeah. This is probably their picture perfect person. Yeah.

Yeah. It's yikes. That's a giant yikes. It's huge yikes. And it's crazy because like at any point, if you just come forward and been like, yo, mom and dad, I've been lying about the college,

life I flunked out because, you know, I just, I couldn't handle it. Video games are getting the better of me. I'm sorry. Are they going to be upset? Sure, but they sound like the parents, it would just be like, okay, yeah, we're upset with you, but we're also going to help you figure it out. And worst case scenario, let's say his parents kick him out, like his girlfriend and his family and her family are so amazing that they probably would have taken him in. Like, he just skipped straight to psycho so quick. and so easily.

It's literally like, you can live your life as a lazy piece of shit. It's not, like, it's not particularly hard if you don't have any major aspirations. I mean, obviously, like, you know, you might not make much money and like that kind of stuff,

but depending on where you live, like in kind of a smaller area where rent isn't that bad and all that, like, you could just kind of do your video games and just kind of be that way for, a pretty good period of time. Yeah. Also, I'm going to read this from Shai,

just to get her take on it. Yeah, yeah, hit it. Basically, Chandler, in my opinion, did it because he was a shell of a man who had nothing and wanted nothing and was malignantly lazy. Ooh, I like that. Malignantly lazy.

Literally everything about him was made up and fake, and when his father dared to encroach on this, he realized that everyone would see him for what he was an empty, worthless worm and he could not accept that. You know?

You know, I think that's a fair take. I don't think, I think you're pretty spot on actually. I honestly think that might be a little overreaching. I think he's just a sociopath. I think it's like, okay, my,

the life I wanted is being threatened and now it'll never be threatened again. Oh, yeah, that, that, that that could very well be it too. I don't know, his, his dead eyes don't throw, don't throw me any kind of like, like, he just looks, like, he looks like a robot. He reminds me of those images of Zuckerberg

where he's got those big white eyes, and he looks like a fucking lizard. Wait till you hear him talk, because he, he sounds like a robot too. Oh, good God. He is just, he is just, ah, he is, he kind of, he makes me sick. Like, just thinking about him

and thinking about what he did, and just no remorse. I mean, it wouldn't matter if he showed any remorse. He's still an absolute dirt bag. But, like, Chandler Hallerson, like, he makes me kind of ill. Like, it's just so, like, uh, to be on, like, your hands and knees and just, like, hacking and sawing your parents' heads off and then just chucking them in a fireplace is like, like, I can't even comprehend it.

Yeah, he seems like, I mean, yeah, it really just seems like that's the, his mind just didn't work in a regular kind of process. It didn't seem like he had really like emotions that he could, you know, like he could really like work with. Yeah. There was another, the other thing the judge said was like, you know, I have a duty to protect the community and ever letting this guy out.

It's just like, that's an endangerment to everybody in the Wisconsin. or just everyone in general. Like he's just... I remember a long time ago. It was like a documentary or something. I don't really remember, but it was like a mom. And she had these like two kids and one of the older one. The older one was like total sociopath.

And was like, yeah, every time I don't do what the older kid wants, he goes and like beats his brother up. Oh, God. And like, and like he just does this every time until he gets what he wants. And he's getting older now and he's getting bigger. And I can't stop him. when he gets like like but like I can't have the state take him away like I'm stuck with him like what do I do in this situation it was really fascinating horrifying listen um that kind of that kind of thing

but he he sounds like the adult version of what that kid would have turned into yeah it's it's it's wild um but like shy said every he was everybody considered him a nice kid chill no red flags he'd never done anything like this before. No history of violence, no history of crimes. It was just like Shai said, I love the choice of words, malignantly lazy. Malignantly lazy. Which is lazy

in the sense and fashion of just so incredibly, like, to the detriment of other people. Well, that ain't that the truth. It was a detriment. to and oh man I didn't I didn't even but his poor brother

poor Mitchell oh Mitchell Mitchell was the good one Mitchell was the one who had a life yeah he had a life and everything was going great and now his parents have been taken away his brother who he thought was on the right track turns out to be a freaking

monster and it's like oh my his world is just and somehow like his brother managed to keep everything together during the trial, which I would, like, if I was his brother, I would be a mess. I don't know how I would even wake up in the morning. Yeah, honest to God. Yeah, his brother was engaged, about to get married, too.

Did that get called off? I have no idea. I have to imagine it was delayed significantly because, holy shit. Yeah. Yeah. But that's Chandler Halterson. What a, what a fucking freak. What a, why? What a freak

God damn What a what a What a burger I mean he Failed as hard as you could fail I'm trying to make a good point You can't even say he fell That life

He never had one That's very true He really just is He really just He is the poster boy Of The lazy gamer Yeah

He's taken taken to the most extreme level, too. Because, like, even a lazy gamer is like, oh, man, mom and dad hate me. I'm just... But he's like... It's crazy how lazy he was, and then every tedious step he would take to cover his tracks. Like, if he put the same amount of effort into his life, he would have been a millionaire. But, like, it's crazy.

He would... None of it makes sense. He wouldn't even have been a millionaire. The effort he put to hide his parents' bodies would not be better. That's true. He would not be a little. He is the poster boy of like the Fox News, like video games are ruining our kids kind of person. That's what he's going.

He's the post boy. Because he's not like the South Park guy. You know, the guy was no life. He's not the wow guy. Yeah. People joke that the murder was the most work. It is the most work he's done in his. life. It's the most he's ever tried. And it's the most he's ever tried in something.

Yeah. And he still failed. And he still miserably wasn't even close. Not even a little bit close. There was no chance. Zero percent chance of success. Complete failure. Anyway, Brickie, you want to take us home? Honestly, I want to go home. I am home. I know. I, oh man. I don't know what we're doing next time, but we'll see you next time, right? This is the only time I'm ever happy that we will, that we have a horrible, horrible prison system in America. That's true, because he's going to be rotting there forever. Let's go. Get wrecked. Next time around, let's do something lighter. Let's do Bigfoot.

Maybe we will do a cryptid. I'd be down for that? Cryptids are fun. Or something wacky. Like, I don't know if you can beat the fucking crocodile of Wall Street girl. But, like, something cool. Silver on my fingers and boots on my feet. Never be a, what was it? Never be a sheep.

No. No. Always be a goat, not a goddamn sheep. There you go. Always be a goat, not a goddamn sheep. You know the lyrics better than I do. And I did the episode. Shy and the episode.