Adeptus Ridiculous - BEASTMEN & CHAOS WARRIORS | Warhammer Fantasy Lore

Episode Date: July 6, 2025

https://www.patreon.com/AdeptusRidiculoushttps://www.adeptusridiculous.com/https://twitter.com/AdRidiculoushttps://shop.orchideight.com/collections/adeptus-ridiculousThe Beastmen, sometimes known as the Beastmen Brayherds, the Beastkin,[] the "Cloven Ones", the "Horned Ones", the "Beasts of Chaos" or even the "Children of Chaos", are a race of savage, mutant humanoids that bear various traits of bestial appearance, such as cloven hooves, muscular Human bodies, horned bestial heads and a primitive, malign intelligence.Chaos Warriors are a select group of evil Men who have chosen to forsake their former lives and give themselves wholly to the service of Chaos to become instruments of ultimate destruction. Many, but not all, come from the ranks of the tribes of the Northmen that inhabit the Chaos Wastes and Norsca in the northern regions of the Old World.Support the show

Welcome everyone to another episode of the Realm of Ridiculous, where we talk about Warhammer, but it's like old and stuff. But if you enjoy this podcast, you want to support us, check us out on patreon.com slash adeptis ridiculous, where you can get bloopers if they happen, posters, discord access, a bunch of really fun little videos that Shai is putting together about her opinions on mostly orc stuff, but also on other things. There's a lot of backlog of those videos currently right now. if you're interested in hearing an angry person ramble about angry things,

except for the orcs in which they are, in fact, less angry and much happier, as is the way of life. Check it out, patreon.com slash that is ridiculous. Also, check out our merchandise over at Orcinate.com link in the description. We have a absolute boatload of items, including physical versions of those posters, hoodies, shirts, dice, desk mats, objective markers, and more. And lastly, we did kind of like, totally stopped the book club for a bit because I was gone for a while.

And then Lucius, the faultless blade, was only on Kindle and not on Audible and the physical version. So we're bringing the book club back. There's a lot of obvious, you know, shenanigans there. My apologies. Sorry for taking a while. But we are bringing the book club back. And it will be on the book, Flesh and Steel. Very often you've heard the excerpt of the servitor factories before. And that comes from that one. specifically, some Warhammer crime novels set on the same planet as the Bloodline's book, Varengensua. So check out Flesh and Steel.

I promise we will have that book club episode this month in July. Apologies for the wait. It is entirely my fault. D.K., how are you? Well, I'm great. I love the, it's like 40K, but old and stuff. I, you know. That's a solid intro, man.

Solid intro. Thank you. I feel like I need to just really make sure the audience knows what they're getting into, you know? Truly, truly. But I have two quotes for you today. And I figure if you get either one of them, we'll count it as a win. So you ready? You know, I think maybe, I don't think I'm the problem, D.K.

Because, like, I try to, you're so generous about the quotes. And I try to be generous. And then, and then Shai is like, he got a wrong. kill him with hammers. And I'm like, oh, damn. When I get it wrong, Shai is just like, yes, throw him into the meat grinder and serve him to the masses.

If I, if I tossed you into a meat grinder and the only thing that came out was your eyeball, you're probably dead. Anyway. Yeah, probably, probably dead. It's all right. Shai gets the reference,

even if you don't. I sure don't. I sure don't. That's fine. That sounds awful. I don't. I don't want to be near any meat grinder, like me being in it. Well, what, uh, quote you got for me?

Uh, first one is, uh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Chaos strong. Gore strong. Humans, elves, dwarves, weak, weak, weak, week, week. We win, we fight. We kill. One day, we win. One day soon.

You, if lucky, we eat you. Make you part of us. Make you better than you. stronger than any of you, stronger than all of you. Once this arm was weak like you, I eat many of your kind, now strong, strong, strong. Oh, fascinating.

Okay, so they clearly have, they're clearly pulling a Charlie Kelly. They got a bit of a, a bit of an illiteracy issue there. Okay, oh, that's weird. The way you spoke made it sound like, yeah, I was going to say, the way you spoke made it sound like Skaven,

but I don't think it is Skaven, because you have this kind of, you have this thing going on with the conversation where you're clearly getting more powerful by what you eat, so there's some kind of like strength absorption of some kind. And I don't know what faction that is. It's not to say.

Well, there's a second quote, too, if you ever feel like this is a too, vague a quote? There's a second one if you like. See, I don't think it's vague at all. I think I just don't know what it is. So, yeah, hit me with a second quote. Uh, second quote is, um, is there one single greater threat to civilization than these savages, physically powerful, armed and armored with both steel and sorcery filled with evil intent? Are they even human? All the evidence is that they are not. Are they even human? me as, okay, that makes them assume to be some kind of human-based trait. Oh, God. I'm trying

to think of what things we haven't done yet. Also, that second quote is a different faction, by the way. Oh, it's a different faction. Different faction. Yep. Well, oh, I know that, but I'm assuming they're referring to the first faction that was speaking. That's kind of the assumption I'm making. I got to be honest, I don't know. Um, okay, if I show him the image, will he guess. I don't know, shy, but like, maybe Hibby... I think he might. Oh, yeah. Oh. I think you're going to get it with that image, right?

Like, Beastman? Beastmen? That is the first quote, is indeed for Beastmen. Beast, um, okay. Yep. And actually today is a little bit of a different episode, because we're covering two factions, because they both have kind of like

not a ton. So do you want to take a stab at what the other faction we're doing is? Um, like a, like a bird fact, like Zangor's of sorts. I mean, those are, those are more of a 40K thing, but like, okay. Oh, okay. Oh, so, oh, so we're covering the faction that spoke secondly. Mm-hmm. Oh, are they even humans?

I honestly, I got no idea. I know we haven't done Cathay yet, but I imagine Cathay would have its full episode. So I don't know. We are doing beast men and chaos warriors. Chaos Warriors. Chaos Wars. We touched on them a little bit in the Norska episode, but since the Beastmen don't have a ton, it's like, you know what? Let's go ahead and like round them out, talk about them a little more.

And we'll kind of go into that. Okay. So, yeah, today is Beastman and Chaos Wars. And I think, I think Shai said Beastman and Chaos Warriors are either our last fantasy factions. we need to talk about or it's it's getting real close so we're we are chugging away um oh right cathay is still around but their codex isn't out yet so we're kind of waiting on that oh gotcha okay oh right because they have the new minis and everything that awesome new minnies okay interesting i've seen chaos warrior minis all the time i think i think i maybe just assume they were somewhat

part of Norseka. But like, just because they have a lot of like similar traits, like the big fur and the helmets and stuff like that. But, okay, so interesting. So beastmen and, oh, because it's kind of funny. Because remember in Lion's Son of the Forest? They had that fallen and there's like the beastman also there fighting and stuff. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, they did, didn't they? So I guess I kind of like a little bit of like a hand in hand thing. Interesting. Okay, all right, cool, cool. Let's roll it. Let's do it. 40K has beastmen. Well, I guess those would just be mutants, right? They have beasts.

There's mutants, yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right. So starting out with the beastmen, back in the days of the olden ones, when they were sort of terraforming the planet, there were no beastmen.

The old races were being seated. You got dwarves. You got elves. You got fledgling humans. And you got those big, polar gates that the old ones used to just do their crazy little travel. But when the great catastrophe happens, as we know, the gates go couple. And everything goes crazy, warp energy start going mad.

And you've got warpstone, just shooting all over the place. If you remember, that's how a morselaib becomes a thing, that big, crazy, green, warpstone moon with a face. Right. the one that the Skaven like or blow up. Yeah, they like trying to blow it up and just blow chunks of it of, yep. And a lot of these warpstone chunks

would end up just smashing into a lot of the forests. And these forests are inhabited by sort of very early nomadic humans. And these warpstones just

being overflowing chunks of chaos magical energies began to not only mutate the forest, but it also starts to mutate all of the inhabitants in the forest, all of the animals. And it starts to merge the animals and the humans inside the forest into these sort of twisted amalgamations of beast and man. Okay, so a bunch of warpstone basically gives everyone a bunch of, like literally mutations. Yeah. And so the thing about the raining of the warpstones and that catastrophe is it's something that just keeps happening. It's like a steady, like rainfall weather event.

And each impact of these warpstones causes souls to be sucked into the warp and replaced by souls that are just fowler and fowler demon-like entities. And the impacts of the warpstone not only did that, but they also, basically, these warpstones are embedding chaos directly into the soil deeper and deeper than anybody could see or imagine. And so this causes the taint of chaos to spread way beyond what you can just see or even like the impact zone. Trees and plants that seem to be just perfectly normal. just a normal plant, normal tree,

were actually corrupted deep in their roots, just spreading this unseen chaos energy wider and wider as it hits the roots of other trees in the forest. And so these forests just become right with just chaos energy, just overflowing with it. What's this place called again, this like chaos forest of sorts? Honestly, this is basically,

just every forest in old world fantasy this is like yeah it's like chaos wastes but it's like most of the forests are getting hit with these warp stone

rain sleet storms okay so they're just getting pelted by like meteoric stones of the warp in a way that sucks and so so much chaos energy so much so

that the forests are like it almost like beckons people to enter like when you go by the forest you get like this weird tingling and it's like oh it's like something's calling out to me to go into the forest and this actually resulted in

it's kind of creepy but it results in the primitive humans of the region entering the forest alongside corrupted creatures and per the codex this is a quote that that possum gave me.

Per the codex, this is what happened. The primitives of the region and the beasts were somehow mated. Their terrible offspring born and mated again. Generation after generation coming into being, indiscriminately reproducing and eventually dying in an uncontrolled rapid procession. Thus was the race of the beastmen born into the world. So they just

They were just banging A lot Yeah Yeah Just a lot of Yeah A lot of Damn, okay

Yeah Remember kids Don't have sex With radioactive forests Yeah Don't have sex with the deer In the radioactive forest Otherwise

Beastmen Yeah sorry Don't have sex With the deer in the forest Also don't have sex In the forest Or at the forest or with the forest.

Agreed. Yep, don't do it. You know, kids, just don't even have sex. It's gay and stupid. And it's not for real alpha males. Yeah, just lock the fuck in and don't have sex, kids. Come on. Lock the fuck in. Yeah.

And honestly, this is more or less what your standard beastman is going to look like, sort of this unholy union between man and beast. generally it's going to be the beast that the early nomadic humans were sort of trained to like herd and keep so things like cows goats bores a lot of cloven animals since the beastmen are also known as the cloven ones so a lot of the art you're going to see the chy post of beast when beast men will more or less be the head and cloven hooves of a beast with sort of the body. body of a man. Cloven. And so now, yeah, cloven. How would you describe cloven? I've heard that word before, but I don't know exactly how I would describe that phrase.

I always saw it. I always thought of it like, because like whenever you look at the hove of like a horse or a cow or something, it kind of almost, to me, looks almost like a clover. So it kind of looks like a clove and hove. it's like a hobb that's kind of shaped at the bottom like a clover. I don't know. Okay, you made it that way. Okay.

Oh, apparently glovin means split divided. Split slash divided. Okay, interesting. Because I honestly was a little bit shocked that you would call them clove and I kind of saw them a little bit more like Star and East. Get out. Get out. Minus two.

Everyone in chat, everyone minus two this man into oblivion. Minus two, this man. Yeah. And now it's time to go into a few of the different types of beastmen. And the best way to understand beastmen comes in the form of the horns that they have, because it is really the horns that make the beast man. And the larger and sort of more organized these horns are, the more respected the beast man is.

If your horns are small, misshapen, or you just straight up don't have horns, That beast man will be viewed in a much lesser light. You will have significantly less respect, and we will talk about that in a little bit. The most common type of beastmen are referred to as gores. This is a super broad grouping of beastmen. To be more specific, you've got sort of these bovigores, which naturally are beastmen with either like bull or ox-like heads, sort of bovine.

They are naturally referred to as bullheaded in nature. And your most common breed of gore is your Capragore, which is a, it's a beastman with like a goat or a sheep-like head, which I'm assuming the name comes from like Capricorn, Capragoor, sheephead, that type thing. Sure, I guess it's kind of got like the demonic goat's head type thing, the forward-facing nose and stuff like that as opposed to like whatever a beast would be more referred

to I guess like more of like a different kind of animal yeah okay and gores gores that don't really look like any specific beast and they're just kind of like ambiguous those are known as

ungoors and they tend to be a bit more of a wild card and they're generally seen as like sort of the the low rung on the latter. Sort of the low man on total. And the Unghors are the most humanoid of beastmen

and look, they kind of look like weird beast goblins. Possum says Beast goblins, I think they kind of look like you know, what are they? Saders. To me, they kind of look like that, except with less horns. So if you ever seen like the lion,

the witch in the wardrobe, they kind of look like that weird Sater guy in the beginning to me. Yeah, yeah. A sater I think is a pretty good descriptor overall. Yeah, yeah. The un-gore, their leaders are known as half-horns. They lack the thick hides

that their gore counterparts have, so they tend to always carry a shield for protection. And they actually do kind of fight more like how a human would, and typically they're kind of like your ambush units. And if things go south

and it turns into like a real fight, they take a book from those night lords and they're just like, we gotta get out of here. We will not last in a fair fight. We will not last in a scrap. It is over. Okay. So they're a little cowardly,

but like not in the, like they get why. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah. Also, wow, in that picture, I guess it does look more like a little goblin. Yeah,

a little beastly goblin. Yeah, that's not really a sater at all, is it? No, no, a little weird, little weird, gribly goblin boy. Yeah, you were right, possum. That's a beast goblin for sure. Yeah.

Regarding gores, if a gore, like a bovagore or a capro gore, only has the head and legs of an animal without any other mutation, those are referred to as true gores. And they're viewed with just a lot more respect because they are more intelligent and they're a lot braver. than most of your other just sort of standard gores. And these beastmen naturally are absolute savages. They're known to be cannibalistic, and they are more than willing to eat the flesh of their own

with no hesitation at all. Like even if the meat is infested, old, or ripe with maggots, because it's just been decaying too long, they will still just as you can imagine one of their all-time favorite meals is indeed the flesh of humans.

Fuck yeah, I love eating people. I love cannibalism. Yeah. Gnom, numb, numb, numb, hell yeah. It's like the finest gourmet meal to them and they will 100% fight to the death

in order to secure a piece of fine human meat for eating. And when they can't get flesh, be it beast man or just a gourmet slab of human ribs, they do and will tend to go on sort of like a Timonin Pumba diet where they just start eating lots of big, nasty bugs. Slimy yet satisfying. Slim, slimy yet satisfying.

Yeah, yeah. And aside. Hukuna matata motherfucker. It means no worries. Aside from being their favorite meal, there's little a beastman hates more than a human.

Because back in the days following the great catastrophe, the beastmen were just like they were the pinnacle. They were the rulers of the forest. None could stand up to them. They ruled the forest for thousands of years and they would prey upon humans like wolves would prey upon the sheep.

They could have their fill of human meat basically whenever, wherever. Until our boy, Sigmar Heldenhammer showed up and began to sort of unite the humans. He had his war have Gal Maraz and he was bringing all these nomadic human tribes together forming the Empire of Man and with Sigma Heldenhammer as the leader

they broke the power of the beastmen beat him down sent them scattering broken and defeated back into their forests I'm gonna repeat this again because I just gotta say I like Sigmar a lot

I really like this dude he's such a baller imagine having an emperor that can walk imagine having an emperor that leads from the front. True. Too often, it's like, oh yeah, the king's in the back on his throne, proclaiming victory, didn't do a damn thing. Sigmar held an hammer is at the front with Gal Mraz going hard. Yeah, he is out there with a fur cape, insane drip, and a big

hammer just swinging. And like, what a, me visualizing the man in the mirror I want to be, and it's just a picture of Sigmar. I mean, that's, if you're, if you're gonna be like someone, that's the guy, for sure. Also, I kind of forgot his name was Heldon Hammer. That's, I'm sorry, that's stupid as hell.

He held an hammer, you know? There's a reason he's not called Beta Mar. So true, Shai, so true. So true. So true. All right. And this time, is remembered by the beastman as the war of the hammer.

And for the rest of their days, for the rest of the beastman's existence, they would remember this time. And they would also remember a time before Sigmar held in Hammer when they were the uncontested rulers of the forest, when they held dominion over man and they could do as they please. they see humans and Sigma as the root cause of all their suffering. This time period is described as being remembered

both as sort of a fading dream and a legend. The rituals of the beastmen are full of references to the time before the war with the idea that one day that time will come again. One day the beastman will reign supreme again and the humans will go back to being just fodder for us to eat. And beastmen have no means to record the passage of time,

but they know a couple of things by just sheer instinct. Nobody's got to teach him this. They know that humanity is new, held in hammer is bad, and that the humans in their ivory towers now looking down on them, were once terrified of them. And one day, they'll be terrified. verified of them again. Except for the part when Sigma

completely like bodied them. Yeah. Okay. But hell did Hammer bad. Yes, of course. So the beastmen, I'm getting the general vibe that the beastmen are like very, maybe not the smartest of people, but they're very like spiteful and angry at the humans. And they just like want to kill them all.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. That is exactly what they are. They just, man, we had it so good. everything was great and then held and hammering the humans go and doing it and fight for their freedom and beat us and that's so dumb one day we're going to get them back and things are going to go back to the way they deserve to be right are they like absolutely 100% just totally coping and and because it seems to me that beastmen are like just fodder

just straight up fodder yeah it it's it feels like a lot of cope okay definitely feels like they are copseed, mauled. I mean, they were, to me, we're going to get you one day. They were fucking deer

in like Chernobyl. Yeah. Like, I just want to make it, I was going to make sure because in, in like Warhammer 40K, you know, boss baby and everything,

they are literally just thoughter. They're cultists. They basically are nothing. And so making sure that I'm like, okay, if that's the aim thing we're going for, then that makes sense. But they,

they do seem to be just like, angry, dumb, spiteful people who hurt themselves, but also are like, damn, those humans. That is, that is very, yep, that is, that is the gist of it. And interestingly, the Empire of Man sort of view them in a superstitious myth kind of way. Sort of like a, ooh, guys, do you know what lurks in the deepest, darkest parts of the forest? Beastmen! type of scary stories to scare the kitties into not wandering into the forest alone

and while there are parts of the Empire of Man that do view them superstitiously like this for sure all men in the Empire know that the Beastmen hate absolutely everything about them there's no two ways about it and naturally the Beast Men's hatred for humanity grows as humanity advances, right? Because the refinement of humanity

exists as sort of the polar opposite of what the beastmen believe is like the natural way to exist. Because for the beastmen, it was like, oh yeah, everything is just forest. Everything is just, as we've said, Chernobyl forests, and that's how you live, you live with nature, you live in the forest.

And now these humans are putting like these big ugly statues and ivory towers and castles everywhere and there's industry and what is this this is literally a light on nature it infuriates the beastmen but the beastmen are also like okay this this is temporary because our rituals and our prayers say that there will one day come a time where they are prey again we will tear down their statues we will tear down down their walls and we will return to nature once more. All right. I mean,

that's like a fine concept, I guess, but. Yeah. Again, it's like you said, it's, it's a lot of just them coping real hard about just,

I can't believe they beat us and they don't want us to just eat them on mass. Right. I mean, are there, are there Beastman fans? Like, are we, are we going to get like a bunch of shit from Beastman fans who are,

like I love beastmen. They're my favorite faction. Or like, is that a thing? Do people, do people like that? Because I mean, like, even in Boss Baby, the, there's, there are people who are like, I'm running nothing but chaos cultists, which are obviously just like pure fodder. But I, I don't know. You know, I would, I'm sure there probably are, but I don't think it's a big sect of people.

Because honestly, there's not even a whole lot of and stuff. about the Beastmen. So I don't think anybody's going to really be like, oh my God, I can't. And I feel like even if you are a fan of the Beastmen, you're probably just like, yeah, that is how it is. They kind of, they are indeed coping

really hard. And they want things to go back to the way they were. So I don't think so, but I guess never say never, right? All right. So Shai says people love them the same way people have tieredids, mindless vile fodder. And if that's the case, hell yeah, because they sound like

shitlords, so cool. And the thing about humanity, though, is they deeply underestimate just how cunning, tactful, and just how much brutish strength the beastmen

have, because obviously the humans are very arrogant, they're like, why do we have the fear about the beast? Yeah, they hate us, but we took them out. No big deal. So, if a random soldier actually encounters a cloven one, they'll be like, oh, this is that thing they told me about in that story,

that thing that we just bodied all those years ago. I got this. And then it gets absolutely torn to ribbons, gored and eaten, and just absolutely mall. Got a little, got a little infantry man's primer type thing there.

A little like, ah, it's the funny goat people, and then the goat person like rips them in half. Yep, just slams a horn right through their stomach and just gores them into oblivion. You're,

you're, you're, and, And would you believe it? That's basically the gist of the Beast Man's lore and, like, backstory. Essentially, human nomads got chaos warped into Man Beast hybrids, were living it up, rich style in their forest, Sigmar showed up, kicked their shit in,

and then they got mad about it. We still have more stuff to talk about, though, so don't worry. Like, we're not completely done with the Beastman, but, like, that is about... how their history goes. Does Pazin have Beast Woman thing in there? I read about Beast Woman, and it was like, beast women are like really rare,

and they're kind of just used for reading, question mark. Don't, all right, well, don't love that, but like... Yeah, it's like, just like, you know, there's no scavin women, right? There's just Skaven birthing chambers. Right, right. I mean, so,

you know, what did my, my mind immediately went to that stupid, like clip of the, the baby that's just like, I need milk, I need to be held, I need to be comforted.

There is one, oh my God. No, please, after you. There's only one beast woman canon depiction made by GW

and it's from Blood Bowl and it made people feel some sort of way. Beast woman cheerleader. The hair on the middrift is making me want to throw up. Well, yeah. I mean, if that's the only thing making you want to throw up, you're doing pretty well.

Try for this part, can you input that meme that's like, oh, we censoring armpits now? Have you seen that one, D.K.? I have. Yeah, yeah. And someone's like, yeah, we are. And then isn't the response to something like, yeah, well, I hate it.

Unsensured or something? Yeah, it's like, oh, we censoring armpits now. And the person's like, yeah, there are some weirdos out there that like really get into armpits. And he's like, yeah, me, uncensored them. Yeah. What a giga chat. What a great, what a great person. But yes, anyway, all that aside.

Okay. So, yeah, Beastmen are big vile fodder. Okay. So that's like not an insubstantial opinion to have in this situation. No. No. and actually interesting note about how they're born since Shai just posted a picture of a beastman baby. You know, you got sort of the very obvious two beast people laying down in the grass and getting their funk on.

But then you can have two perfectly normal human parents that can give birth to a child who is just obviously a little mutated and kind of beastial. and apparently that's just something that can just straight up happen sometimes without reason. Sometimes it's because, you know, the parents might have just a little residual chaos exposure that nobody noticed, you know, because there's just so much chaos energy flowing around. It's probably easier. It's like, oh, I thought that was a birthmark. Oh, nope, that was the taint of chaos, actually, or something. Sometimes it can just happen, right? Sorry, I say, oh, that's a birth mark.

Sorry, no, it's the taint of chaos. Wow, that birthmark on your back looks kind of like a claw. Oh, that's not a birth mark. It's the tank of chaos. There's chemicals in the water making the kids goats. Goats. And when this happens, when two seemingly normal human parents give birth to a child. Oh, yes.

Sorry, seemingly. Seemingly to normal parents. The parents are supposed to. literally by law, immediately give up the child to a priest or a witch hunter so that they can, you know, deal with the child before it can become a big, nasty beastman that causes them big problem. Interestingly, though, as I was reading stuff up on this, apparently a lot of parents are just unable and unwilling to just give up their child to like a priest or a witch hunter. I'm shocked.

So instead, what they do instead isn't much better, they just leave their mutated child alone in a forest. That's substantially funnier. Because they kind of just hope that it, you know, that God takes care of the problem because they're just like, you know what? now that I've left the baby here this is your problem God if that thing dies it's your fault if it survives good for you my hands

are clean of this which I feel like it's super weird that they're just like oh no not the priest euthanizing our baby but they'll still leave it in the forest and be like ah you know maybe a wild animal leave it here chilling whatever

this is God's problem now I find that kind of hysterical problem is tell that to the judge I left it there it's God it's God's problem you can't judge what but the problem is basically

I mean I think it's genuinely like 100% of the time anytime a sort of beastman mutated baby is left in one of these forests it will naturally at some point just start bawling its eyes out crying and screaming.

And this beast baby's cries and screams are like a massive signal flare to any beast man in the area. They will come and find the child and be like, oh, hey, beast baby.

I'm going to raise it as my own. And then the child grows into a beastman anyway. The beastman get the baby. They grow stronger. And congratulations. You missed the point. Oh. There is one other kind of gnarly way that you can make Beastmen. Does it involve sex?

No, actually. Well, I mean, I guess at some point, someone has to be born. So, like, technically sex is always involved, right? I mean, I don't know. That's the scariest part for me. The sex part. The sex part. It's okay, buddy.

The sex won't hurt you. You're an adult. Oh, thank God. But apparently sometimes a fully grown adult can just become a beast man. These are known as turn skins. And they have probably one of the most miserable existences you can have. Because from what I could tell, they kind of just gain beast-like traits. Like maybe they get like kind of small horns or something.

But they aren't fully beastmen. They make, maybe they just get horns or maybe they just grow like maybe a limb that's sort of bestial. And so the humans that they have lived with their whole life obviously want nothing to do with them because, oh my God, you're a mutated beast. I don't care if I've known you forever. Get the fuck out of our city. And so they're ostracized by humanity.

But if they're like, okay, well, if humanity calls me a beastman, I'm going to go to the forest and maybe I can squeak out a life as a beastman. Not a whole lot better because the beastmen always think of the turnskins as well basically fucking useless. Essentially the only use you have to the beastman as a

turnskin is as a slave. Or food. Maybe. I don't, I actually haven't heard or I didn't read anything about beastmen eating turnskins. They might think that they taste nasty because they're not beast, they're not human, They use them a lot for

cannon fodder. They'll let you be sort of a basic bitch infantry troop that they just kind of like throw at the enemy. Like you're basically just a slave at that point. That sucks. I guess that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah, there's, you don't want to

be a tern skin. You are literally accepted nowhere and no one loves you. It's just, it's not good. It's not good. And as you can imagine, when it comes to sort of the leadership role in Beastman society, it's pretty much your standard law of the jungle. The strongest will always reign supreme. Those that are physically gifted and show greater

signs of being blessed by the dark gods. You know, if you have like bigger curling horns or you're naturally bigger and stronger, that's going to be your typical chieftains. And from what I've read, if you're like an ungoor where you have like smaller horns the smaller beastmen in general you're underdeveloped even if somehow you did

end up being stronger than every other beastmen they still would not let you rule over them because like you don't have horns you're underdeveloped you got underdeveloped horns you ain't going to tell me what to do that's bitch shit and if you're a chieftain you have

to be ready at all time to defend your sort of crown, your status as beastman leader. Because again, beastmen are just base savages. If they hear or smell a battle in the distance, they're getting riled up and they want to fight. So if a beastman is jealous of you and they want to be leader

because they don't think you're a good leader, they will start fighting you forth. They will try to kill you. They will absolutely go and throw hands with you. So classic, who's the strongest type? is rival the fittest type deal. Yep, yep, yep, yep. And the chieftains also make these big grand totems

using the pelts of all the challengers that they've killed so that everybody that steps to them is like, oh, God, that totem has like 300 pelts on it. Nope, I'm not messing with this guy. Not even a little bit. The heads on spikes, uh, classic, like fear type. thing, gotcha. Classic,

classic night lord behavior, right? And when it comes to the gores, in sort of the pop-down sense, you have what are known as the Beastagores at the top. The Beastagores are those that sort of lead these Beastmen herds, and they're sort of like your most brutal warriors. Next to them, you have the Wargores, which leads sort of the singular tribes.

are also known at Bain Beasts and Bain gores. And I could not get the image of my head, the image of like a Bainblade that's all covered in fur and horns out of my head. I read Bain Beasts. I mean, the Bain Gore is 1,000% the name of a Bainblade variant, like covered in plows and tractor spikes because that just sounds like that's what it would be. Yeah, it does. Now somebody has to make that

and send it to somebody on Twitter or Discord. Someone needs to make the Bainblade, Bain Beast, Bain gore. The Bain gore. The Bain gore. Also, super important leadership-wise, they have these sort of spiritual

leaders. They're called the Bray Shaman. And these are beasts that have the ability to spirit walk into the realms of chaos and actually speak to the ruinous powers directly. And they are then able to sort of directly convene with the chieftain of a tribe and be like, here's what I say. Here's what the divine powers one. Here's what the ruinous powers need from you.

And one thing to note with the Bray Shaman are that they have heterochromatic eyes. They have heterochromiumia. So one eye is a different color than the other. And it's believed that each color represents presents which chaos god favors them. And so they will adorn themselves in the robes to match the color of their eyes. Oh, so, well, if they have two colors, does that mean that they would like, wouldn't it be strange if one person like red and one person that blue? Because then it would be like zing some corn and they hate each other? Um, we'll talk about this later, but the beastmen worship chaos as like chaos undivided.

So they don't really specifically only worship once. So they absolutely would be like, oh yeah, love corn. Yep, sure love Zinch too. They may hate each other, but I love them all, right? Sure. All right. Yeah, yeah, all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

As we said also, the beastmen, very nomadic. They very rarely stay in the same spot for very long, unless they're on, like, big war campaign or entrenched in a long battle. Each sort of beastman tribe is called a war, war herd that we just said is led by sort of like a nice lord chief and you would think that like with how nomadic they are and how

we've kind of talked about them getting shrek and stuff you would think that they don't have like the biggest presence but they are part of chaos and the presence of chaos on the old world is just it's it's so much more significant than I think a lot of people give it credit for so much so that even though it's

you know all of the beastmen aren't usually unified and it feels as though they're sort of at the whims of the empire and it feels like the empire could maybe like screw them over there is a description of what the world looks like

per the beastman codex that gives us a much broader scope of just how much forest and land the beastman actually occupy. And the quote is, if the old world could be glimpsed from above, it would appear much as an ocean of forest dotted with specks of flickering light. The cities of men are little islands rising out of this untamed sea, their nation nothing more than scattered archipelagos.

Surrounding each city, town, and village is an impenetrable mass of ancient and gnarled forest. Within which uncounted horrors lurk. So much of the Empire of Man is swayed in forest and so many beastmen dwell in that realm that it could be considered a nation within a nation. The Empire must garrison every single village, town, and city, and patrol every road and river. For otherwise, the war herds of the force will strike where and when they please, plunging their blade directly into the heart of the empire. So realistically, if the Beastmen wanted and the Empire of Man weren't careful, beastmen could absolutely turn the tide and throw things back to the way they were.

Huh. And I was kind of like taken aback by that quote because I was like, man, everything I've read on the wiki and stuff makes it seem like the beastmen have just been dwindled down to like, like we said, nothing more than fodder. You know, like, yeah, you don't want to meet a beastman, but like, are they

really a threat? And after this quote, it was like, yep, kind of kind of, yep, yep, a little orky. Like, yeah, yeah, they keep messing each other up, but if they all kind of ganged up together, then it would be quite the problem. Yep, yep.

And generally the beastmen kind of, again, very beastial in the sense that they love to follow the smell of blood, fresh meat, the sound of combat in their dense forest, and wherever they go, they kind of just strip it clean of anything that can be eaten and any resources that they gather. And oftentimes, they'll make these campsites built around something called herdstones. These are these sacred stones that they leave, where they can give offerings to the ruinous powers, whether it's food, armor, weapons, maybe they killed something that was really impressive and they're just like, oh, I offer this to you, the ruinous powers.

And it's always the herdstones where the beastman shaman that we talked about will also ritualistically sacrifice any captives that they may have to the ruinous powers, as you do in Warhammer got to have your ritualistic sacrifice. This is also at the Herdstone. This is one of the few spots where fighting does not break out. The Herdstone is a place of worship and it is a place of feast. You do not fight people there. You do not break out into civil war and kill Beastmen or whatever at a Hurdstone.

I love how you say you don't break out into, like not into a brawl, not into like a squabble, into civil war at the Hurdstone. I mean, it's beastmen, right? Like we said, they, they will also absolutely screw each other over and kill themselves just as much as the Empire of Man, right? They will do that. That's true. But yeah, if you as an outsider, or if a beastman was stupid enough to start shit at a herdstone, basically any beastman in the near vicinity will stop everything that they're doing, come together,

and make you regret your decision to start shit at the Hurdstone. And when it comes to... So like we said, Hurdstone is sort of where they have their rituals, this is where they worship, and they have an interesting relationship with chaos.

Because due to their sort of breeding and their instincts and how much they worship chaos, they have this sort of Possum writes, they have a very disarming empathy towards chaos as a whole. So they will ally themselves with a chaos force at the drop of a hat. Even if it involves a race that they just absolutely hate, if their affinity is towards chaos, the beast is like, oh yeah, obviously you're a fight,

we'll fight side by side with you. Even if it's to save a human, if that human is like a line with chaos like oh of course we'll save the human oh love that human oh he's got chaos oh of course we love him no way we'll eat him the dark gods will love us for this and regarding the view that the ruinous powers have on them it's again it's it's a weird relationship because beastmen who do like horrible things just chaosy things in the name of the ruinous powers you can earn gifts from chaos for doing them, but, well, it's weird to describe, but so most of the time when you get a gift from chaos, it comes in the form of like a physical mutation to make you more deadly. Like, you'll get, your horns will grow, you might spurt longer talons that secrete poison, you might get fangs that just get like really big and have poison on them and stuff.

And you would think that these gifts would be given to whoever caused the most chaos, whatever. You would think that like, oh, yeah, that beastman over there did all this chaos stuff. He gets the gift. Actually, what happens is the person that gets the chaos gift is the chieftain. Because generally speaking, chaos will be like, oh, yeah, man, those beastmen really did me a solid. You know, they really, they took out all of those non-believers, gave me a bunch of souls, but it was because of the chieftain, the chieftain was directing them. And it is because of the chieftain that all of those horrific things were committed.

So, of course, those little beastmen that did it, they don't get the prize. The chieftain always gets the prize. I like the, I really like the slownash-nash-looking beastman with the veysmen. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. You look. And we'll talk about like the different, actually we're about to talk about the sort of different gifts that you can get from chaos. But another thing to note regarding the beastmen in sort of their worship of chaos is that, as we said before, vast majority of beastmen will worship chaos as sort of just undivided.

again, this is sort of reflected in the Bray Shaman's different colored eyes. It implies that you could have two different gods talking to you. And the beastmen were sort of follow suit. It's like, oh, we'll talk to all the gods. We'll try and get, you know, all the gods to favor us. And like, of course, sure, they're a beastman that will only follow one of them. And if you do only follow one of them, here are these sort of, you know, special attributes that you get from each one. so a beastman that loves corn that makes you a corn gore and the corn gores tend to have an almost metallic look to their fur their eyes tend to be white with bright red pupils and the corn gores have the head of a hound covered in sharp horns with giant fang these horns will also often warp into the shape of corn's skull run which i

I don't know how I'm just realizing that, but that's kind of dope. I mean, the skull ruin is basically like a, it's a skull. You know, it looks like a skull, so I get it. I guess that's true. Yeah. And are you a beastman that is really into Slanesh? Then you are a slon gore. Their skin is pastel-like in color, and their eyes are huge, green, and saucer-like.

They wear exceptionally luxurious capes and fur and are covered in looted jewelry. They tend to shape down their own horns and dye their own skin and tend to have the face of a goat. And are you sick with Nergel, then you are a testigore of Nergel. And they are exactly what you think they are. They are a gross, sopping mess. They tend to have a single horn, and they are blessed with the tears of Nurgel, which causes them to constantly drip substances from their eyes, ears, mouth, and nose. I mean, that's what I expected, but also, ew.

Yeah. Finally, we've got the Zangorrs of Zinch, allegedly. these beasts tend to be a fantastic array of colors and are often adorned with tiger stripes or leopards the more mutated and messed up they look the more they're viewed as being favored by zich regardless of the affiliation the devoted beastman will also mark themselves with the ruin of the deity that they worship

and make it apparent in all of their clothing, armor, and more And also, the beastmen can follow what are known as beast path. So like we said, beastmen are essentially just, they're wild animals. And when they go plodding through the forest, they don't exactly do it with a light touch. They trample, they charge, and they run everything down. And this wanton destruction, usually it leaves a path. It leaves a path deep in the forest. And it actually, these paths of destruction are essentially, they become roads that the beastmen can follow and go from point to point.

And since they're always on the move, they set up their encampments are very basic. Essentially, their encampments are just big old bonfires that they sort of surround with like animal skins that they can sleep at. Harpies also tend to follow beastmen packs because they act as more or less vultures. because you got this big herd of animals. They're going to leave scraps behind. And hey, that's what we're going to do. We're going to do. The scraps.

And the beastmen, oh, go ahead. These people just, I mean, they're savages. Like, they're chaos-tainted savages. They're chaos-tainted beast people. Yeah. Yeah. They act like animals. Yeah.

Okay. I mean, I'm just like, I'm just saying like, hmm, these people seem like they're going to do weird savagery things. And then they do. And I'm like, yep, that sounds right. Yep. Yep. And the beastmen will more or less try to hunt anything that is in their forest,

or what's known as their blood grains. Whether it's man, green skin, elves, whatever. If you're in their area, they look at you as prey to hunt and kill. Naturally, they do find themselves at odds with the wood elves kind of near the forest of Athel Lauren. I know I mispronounce that chat, but that pronunciation is never going to get out of my head. And so they do tend to sort of fight with the wood elves a lot. And if you kill a wood elf as a beastman, you get the title of Bay Killer, which is pretty much the only thing you get from it.

Because actually the beastmen don't like eating wood elves. They find them kind of bad tasting, stringy, and there's just not enough meat on their bones for a good meal anyway. Another plus two to the, how are you supposed to get a decent grip, Krogan in Mass Effect 2's Citadel. Just the general, just like, mm, ew, stringy elf meat, bleh, we're not going to eat them anymore.

But they are fun to kill. But they are fun to kill. It's fun to kill, blah, not to eat. Yeah, you don't fight where you eat, you know? Well, they do, but like, not them. Yeah. There's also an interesting little tidbit about how beastmen prepare for like really

big important battles. So when they need to plan a big offensive campaign, a bunch of different war herds will convene at a herdstone. And usually when you got a bunch of war herds in the same room and they're trying to like plan as beastmen do, essentially everybody's just button heads. You got beast lords that are just arguing with each other, I'm the strongest. No, I'm the strongest. I'm the strongest, I'm the smartest, I'm the biggest. Ra, rah, rah, rabble, rabble, rab. And to finally decide who will lead this big campaign, this combined war herd of all

these warheads, which is called a bray herd, essentially every chieftain, every participating chieftain gathers in a makeshift arena near the herdstone, and they are surrounded by beastmen spectators who can get involved if they want. and the Beast Lord's hands are all tied behind their back

and they all fight to the death. The only weapon you're allowed to use are your horns. You have to gore your opponent to death. You have to horn them to death which makes the name of this fight very appropriate. It is the gore fight.

I'm shocked. I'm shocked, D.K. Shocked. He's shocked. Shocked. But hey, they're also called. Gores, they are gores that are fighting, and they gore. It's twofold. Well, fine. And naturally, the last Beast Lord standing is the one who will lead the Brayhurt

into battle. And this is a good point to mention about sort of the death of a Beastman chieftain. So if a chieftain is slain in battle, all of his followers will mark his passing with a raucous feast around the herdstone. And if that beast chieftain was very well known, well renowned, then, you know, several war herds will come to that feast, and it sort of becomes this great, almost bray herd feast. And possum writes, now you might be wondering, what are they eating at this feast?

Ricky, what could they possibly be eating at this feast? They're eating people. Well, actually, at the feast, the chieftain's corpse is eaten by his followers. That's so much cooler. Right? It actually is a lot cooler. And the choice body parts are eaten by his oldest and most favored retainers. The new chieftain that replaces him consumes his predecessor's heart, gulping it down in one bite to the roars and wide. chanting of the other beastmen.

The Ungores, on the other hand, the low beasts on the totem pole, will be lucky. They will be lucky if they get to chew on a finger. Damn. That shit kind of goes hard. And as you can guess,

when these massive Braheards go into war, it's not strategy and cunning, quite literally, it's been described to me as just a pack of wild animals hunting their prey, circling their prey, they smell fear, they stalk them, and they go from bloody kill to bloody kill. Beast men disregard the usage of anything besides close combat weaponry because it is as close to their base hunting instincts as possible. They are literally attacking the enemy like pack predators, and they're rushing in to do so gives them just the most primal satisfaction you can imagine.

And another sort of quick note about war herds, even though war herds are mostly comprised of beastmen, they can actually contain other creatures that are affiliated with chaos. so they can have like dragons and ogres too. It's not just a beastman. Also, there is a note about the greatest beast lord to have ever lived by the name of gore thor. Over 1,000. Oh, yeah, go ahead. Like Gore Thor, like Thor, like Thor the Gore. Like Gore Thor, okay, just just making sure.

Sometimes with these 40K, oh, not 40. With these war hammer names, you got to make sure. It's like, is it as tongue and cheek as I think? That's literally my thoughts was like, is it actually what I think it is? Is it just like, like, you know, Sigma Helden Hammer? Right, did I hear that? You say, you say, Heldon hammer? He's like, yeah, and you like, do you hold the hammer?

It's like, you bet your ass, he did. God damn right, he did. Its name was Galmaraz. He held that hammer. If only his hammer was named like, like, like the balk stick. That's more of an orc thing though. Helden bongstick. I like that.

That's an even better name. But Gorthor over 1,000 years ago, he led his hoard on just one of the most successful campaigns against the empire ever. And he hit it so hard, it was almost beyond recovery. Prior to Gorthor, there had been many beast lorbs who were able to unite

tribes into like big invasions, but Gorthor was the greatest because he had what many other beasts lords lacked. Vision and the will to see that vision into the minds of his fathers. Gorthor believed that he was selected as the emissary of the dark gods, despite not having any real powers, he was haunted by nightmarish visions of the future, and this sort of emboldened him in battle. Such was his fervor in battle that he was sometimes cloaked by coronas of dark energy, which protected him or struck out at his foes, a sure sign to other beastmen that the gods truly favored him. Gorthor cut a path to the middle mountains and amassed the largest horde of beasts ever seen, turning the cliff sides into a literal sea of hatred. Millions,

Millions of the cursed men were killed and two entire provinces were brought to their knees. Centuries after his death, the Middle Mountains are still home to some of the most brutal tribes of beastmen. And his ruin can still be seen carved into herd stones across the region. Is that his mini? That is sick as hell. And that being his mini is so funny. this little goofy ass Santa sled I mean it still looks dope as hell though

like his throne is pretty righteous that is very very cool I agree well and so that's sort of where we end on the Beast Men part but to sort of round out the episode we are going to talk a little bit about the chaos warriors sort of put a nice little bow on our sort of

big factions of Warhammer fantasy at least until the Cathay Codex comes out. And Possum gave me a fun little quote to start out about them. They may worship the god of blood or the father of plagues. They may enact their patrons, petty rivalries, and battle amongst themselves for supremacy. But when they march to war, united by the will of the mightiest of their kind,

they fight and they kill as well. one. Nice. All right. Also, that Chaos Warrior is so dripped out of his mind. Oh, yeah.

The Chaos Warrior artwork goes so hard. It is one of the coolest aesthetic things in just all of Warhammer. Honestly, I think it's cooler than just regular base space marines or 40K. I think it's like, oh, I love their aesthetic so much. And also, I thought I saw somewhere that

when, just because it's kind of topical, that when Beastmen were trying to pick a chieftain for their big, like, Brayherds, I could have sworn I read somewhere that like Chaos Warriors were actually allowed to participate in it because, like, they're so chaos tainted that Beesomen be like, of course, of course we'll follow you. Of course, you want to be our leader? Sure.

And the clarification that Possum gave me was, so this is a little strange, and they will clarify it since the wording is a bit weird. A chieftain of a war herd is usually referred to as a champion of chaos, or just a champion for short. And from time to time, war herds will come together to consult with a bray shaman regarding further action. This combination is called

Breihard, of course, and the specific line they found was Any champion can call for a bray herd by lighting a bonfire at the base of a herdstone, which leads to champions coming together and participating in a gore fight to determine who will lead the brayherd, we said. But they think the word champion in that sentence is carrying a lot of weight, and Possum says their gut tells them

that it's strictly referring to Beastmen, which makes sense that a beastman would lead the beastman. But considering earlier we went over how beastmen have just this unwavering dedication and empathy towards chaos and anything corrupted by chaos, there's little doubt in Possum's mind that a bray herd would absolutely love to follow the lead of just the most yoked-up chaos champion. So also the big follow kind of thing, the strongest, the usual kind of deal.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And depending on the armor, like the one shy posted, look at those horns on his helmet, right? Like, you're a beast, but it's like, damn, you got some big horns on your helmet. And you are like, chaos chosen? And you're, yes, my liege. Of course, my liege. Whatever you say, my liege, right? Whatever you say, my liege.

Those are big horns. Yeah, yeah. And like I said, there isn't a whole lot on the chaos warriors that we didn't sort of touch upon in like the Norseka episode. But again, we can still hit on them, give them a little rundowns, flesh them out a little bit. Because the ranks of the chaos warriors include sort of a rather consistent adjpodge of individuals. They tend to be refugees from other lands, disgraced nobles, lost hunters, that sort of thing. to become a chaos warrior the individual must first make a dedicated pilgrimage

to the shrine of a chaos god naturally they will offer their soul to fight for that god and that is when they will be bestowed with their chaos armor and more often than not the chaos warriors will fight for chaos undivided or they'll just fight for whichever one that they'll just fight for whichever one that fancy at the time. Possum writes, so long as chaos wins, we're all Gucci is sort of the vibe the chaos warriors have. Gotcha. So it doesn't much matter so long as it's chaos. As long as that

chaos warriors fighting for chaos, hey, it's a win-win situation. Yep. God damn, their armor looks good. So good. The chaos warrior chaos armor is just so goddamn peak. I love it so much. Every image of it is a good one. Oh, that art goes so hard as well. Oh, yeah, it does. Damn, that dude's horse. And is that like a zombie dragon in the back left? Oh, yeah, that does look like, well, I don't know if it's a zombie dragon, but it's a cool dragon.

There's so much cool stuff going on here. Oh, yeah, fantasy's got some absolutely bang her artwork. Yep. But they are given the infamous chaos armor, that dope chaos armor. that dope chaos armor that is specifically crafted for them by the master smith chaos dwarfs. And as you can imagine, the chaos armor is just some of the most incredible armor that you can have. There's really not a whole lot that can get through. Basically, every conventional attack will just do nothing.

If this plate armor wasn't strong enough already, you can actually, you can actually. toughen it up even more by inscribing runes and litanies of hate upon it. And there's actually some other really cool facts that I didn't know about the chaos armor. So like we said, it's super strong. The protection provided by it is only rivaled by the Gromril armor of the dwarves, which I think

Gromril is the strongest substance. I think it's sort of your mithril adjacent material in fantasy But arrows Areos are easily deflected Howlbirds are shattered when they try to clash with the armor Even like a big old warhammer Can only just make kind of like

Oh look you made a dent in my armor what the hell That's about all it's going to do The material When it's forged looks almost as it's As if it's like alive and like kind of like pulsing a little bit and when this chaos armor is put on, it is rarely, if ever, taken off. I was about to say, it kind of looks like

it's like grafted to you. It definitely looks at the kind of thing that is just imagine the smell. Don't be ridiculous, D.K., I think of the smell. You haven't thought of the smell, you bitch. I haven't thought of the smell. How dare I?

And actually, we will talk about chaos armor grafted to skin, if you will, in a moment. But one of the interesting facts I didn't actually know about the chaos armor was apparently if you find a set of chaos armor for some reason maybe you're

just hiding out in a chaos dwarf forgery. Maybe they had just made some chaos off. And you just happened to find it when they just left the room. Unless you are touched by the will of chaos, it is so

goddamn heavy. It is literally too heavy to be worn or carried naturally. Unless you are touched by the will of chaos, this armor more or less is just a giant, unusable boulder. That's funny as heck. Can chaos be, um, on, can it be, can it be, can your, can your, armor? Can your powers, so you fail the gun? thods, can they be, um, can it be taken from you? I have to believe that if you fail the ruinous powers, I don't know if they take the power from you or just make you suffer unimaginably and then kill you. Okay.

I don't know if they bother with like the whole, yeah, I'm just going to take your power away, take your armor and then just let somebody else kill you. Um, because I can one, I can one thousand percent see a situation where like, oh, you failed chaos, so now you're like, that armor is worthless, you're now trapped in it. Ooh, that's a cool idea. But on the topic of being sort of trapped by it, there are plenty of stories where the Chaos Warrior is like,

oh my God, this Chaos Warrior is just the greatest ever. Look at everything they were able to do, and, you know, they can take off their armor, do whatever they want, have it fixed, buy new people, pieces of it. Like, it's rare that they take it off, but there are stories where they do do it. And there are also some stories where, you know, a chaos warrior will be wearing their arms just sort of, you know, as normal. And if they do a good enough job, the patron deity will be like, wow, I'm about to give you what I think is just one of the most amazing gifts ever.

and this gift is turning the armor into a second skin that literally cannot be removed. Other warriors will look upon this as being like, Wow, he's been blessed. The chaos gods loved him so much that they have crafted him into his armor. He and his armor are one, wow, that's so cool. but the chaos warrior that is bound to the armor resents it deeply. They hate it. They hate what they've become and they just go absolutely berserk.

They go insane. They want so badly for someone to kill them in battle. They want to be broken free from to them. It's a curse. It's 100% a curse. But they're such good warriors. this is sort of like your slayer vibes where they're just

the reason they got the armor grafted them is because they're such a good warrior and so they rush into battle berserk insane madden and they're just like but they're just too fucking strong and they just have to suffer through it

they are also referred to as grim and silent figures just chaos warriors in general they move in silence, but when they hit the battlefield, all hell breaks loose. Hell yeah. Do they have like, I mean, they have the crazy like perma armor. Shai mentioned there's not like an entire hatred of the perma armor. Some characters think it's super sick, but they're also like heavily chaos pilled.

So obviously that's kind of got its own issues. I'm kind of curious. So I mean, obviously they have their power of their patron D. and stuff. So do they have weird magic stuff and like Nergel stuff depending on their armor? Or are they just like brutal metal

battering rams of death? We will go into like what each of the sort of specific ruinous powers give them, yes. We will definitely talk about that. Also I didn't realize that the insanity and hate of

perma armor wasn't universal. I didn't anything on that? Well, specifically about the permahate. I thought that was pretty universal, but I guess it's kind of cool that some of them are just like, oh no, this is the shit, dude.

I love this. This makes me crazy, and I love being crazy. So, yeah. It's also worth noting that while Chaos Warriors are pretty popular in the tribes of the North, you don't have to, like, exclusively be from Norska or something

to become a chaos warrior. Obviously, if you are sort of touched by the ruinous powers, you're going to be, the pull of chaos is going to bring you to the north naturally, because that's where you are closest to, like, the chaos gods and the chaos portals

and stuff like that. So people from all over, will, that are touched by chaos, will just sort of converge to the north and be like, I want the power. My pilgrimage has brought me here, give me the so. Naturally, being in the North kind of helps train the warriors just to be better in battle in general because frozen North, but also that's just where chaos shit usually is. It's the fucking chaos waste.

Also, I like this. What is this guy? Eagle Stierbjorn has perma armor and he's cool with it, but he's not the sanest guy around. Look at this photo. The dude is like dual wielding flaming axes has like 47 skulls on him and is covered in cornate spikes. Like, you know what? I, I get it. But honestly, like he is living his best life. Oh, too true,

too true. Life is, you know, he's best life, for sure, for sure. Um, but I think one of the things

that sounds maybe the scariest about chaos, whereas like, obviously chaos warriors are, they're crazy, absolutely yoked up insane warriors. But like, they just don't stop.

They don't need to eat, they don't need to drink, they don't need to sleep. Your actions that feed your patron god are what provides you nourishment. The gods remove any will and need to exist normally. You are literally only fed by your blessings to chaos. There are many examples of chaos warriors that have trudged for weeks through the thickest blizzard or the densest jungle without slowing pace. Because when you become a chaos warrior, you just, you get rid of your remaining humanity. You completely serve the ruinous powers.

You are an instrument of war and death. And if you see a chaos warrior defeated on the battlefield, there is a good chance that surrounding that chaos warrior corpse are, just, he's just surrounded by innumerable soldiers that are dead and have been killed by him because it is just, it's so hard to kill these things. It's so goddamn hard to kill these things. So in this sense, do they kind of like, it's definitely a very boss baby thing. But my first thought is like how Drew Kari kind of get better about the suffering of others and that kind of nourishes them. Do they like literally just a corn person commits murder and that is their food, that is

their sleep. It definitely seems like that. What you feed to your God is what sustains you. It does feel very sort of Drukari-esque where, you know, doing your chaos god's thing,

which we're about to talk about what each chaos god will sort of grant their chaos warriors. That is kind of how you sustain yourself, yeah. Interesting. Okay. So Corn, of course, is the most common one that Chaos Warriors align with. and corn's impact on warriors as a whole tends to be stronger than the others.

You don't even have to be a Northman to fall to corn. Most of the time, these chaos warriors sworn to corn remove any sense of defense with a shield, and they go into battle dual-wielding weapons with just the most reckless abandon. Zinghi and Chaos Warriors have the benefit of having armor that can react and change around them while fighting, making them very unpredictable. The Chaos Warriors of Zinche tend to prefer being further away battle-wise,

so they use stuff like spears, pole arms, and sort of mid-long-range weapons. The Chaos Warriors of Slanesh, wear armor that looks like it has weak spots and openings, bare skin will be visible around any sort of vulnerable parts of the war body like their neck and legs as a means to obviously tempt other fighters to hit them

and this of course is a ruse to seduce other warriors into temptation as you guessed at Slaneshi chaos wears love pull a divo and whip it good and use hell scourges I kind of love that about Slanesh warrior they're just like, oh yeah, hey, there's a, there's a little spot right here. There's a little, maybe you want to try and get that spot.

And it's like, they just know you're going to go for it and they just punish you for it. Love it. That is very slanishy. Oh, yeah, definitely. Also, shy put here, Sigvald's Baroque plate armor remains forever untarnished by age or the tiniest fleck of dirt. and warm perfumed air surrounds him even during the fiercest blizzard. The ground itself reshapes itself to let the favorite sun pass, and his feet float an inch above the mortal world's surface

so that his boots are never touched by the mud or gore of the battlefield, a benefit those fighting amongst him also enjoy. At the sight of Sigval's undeniable magnificence, the enemy must confront their own obvious inadequacies, and despairs. Yep. And if you look at his armor, you can see those little spots

like on his thighs that are just kind of peeking out. Like, hey. Also, yeah, I was about to say, if you turn his mini around, this is the ass, the ass dude. This is the ass dude. This is the ass dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Also, wait, didn't he, like, die by being sat on or, like, drowning in shit or something? If I'm not mistaken, the story I always heard from fantasy was that he was teamed up, I think it was with a named troll or ogre. I think it was a troll. And they were just so sick and tired and fed up

of how into his looks he was that they essentially just took him by the leg and did like the Hulk to Loki thing and just smashed his ass to death. And then they were like, oh, how you look, huh? And proceeded to piss on his corpse. Did he deserve it?

Oh, absolutely. Look at this guy. Okay. I'm just want to make sure because, like, he looks like he deserves it, but I can't tell. He absolutely deserves it. Yeah. He is a Slanesh chaos champion. That's, okay, very true. Very, my bad. My bad. That's a great point. Apparently, he's back in Age of Sigmar, so, you know, we still rocking the assless chaps and armor. Is every character that like dies but they wanted But was like a fan favorite

Just got brought back in Sigma Is that just what happens That's a little It's a little annoying But okay Yeah They like money Money

Money you say Of course we'll bring back Your favorite characters Okay Of course The Nergel Chaos Warriors have armored That is rusted

And falling apart Naturally This again is meant to attempt enemy combatants into attacking them, but striking on the worn medal will cause their foe to be... Oh, God. Possum writes, but striking on the worn medal will cause their foe to be slimed like the Nick Choice Awards. And just imagine someone getting slimed with like... like...

Oh, I don't like that. I don't like that at all. That is a mental image I did not need this morning. Anyway, as with all things, Nergel, these warriors... pervious pain and tend to be more emboldened as they get wounded battle-wise they tend to have a rusty they have rusty two-handed weapons like great axes so that they can cleave at their enemies left and right and spread infection across the

battlefield classic nerdl stuff yeah they all kind of have that classic vibe like if you know what the chaos god is like you you more or less know what their chaos warriors are going to be like. Yeah, I mean, if I see like the crazed chaos god of something or another, like I can generally make an assumption that the Nurgle one is going to look the way that nergly does. So yeah. Also, one other thing to note is that apparently there is a step up from the chaos warriors called the chosen. Some chaos warriors bear the favor of the dark gods, the ruinous powers more than others. Uh, these,

warriors possess supernatural abilities with their already yoked up physique. Their numbers are secret. It is believed that those who are chosen are ones that have never tasted even the thought of defeat. It's never even

crossed their mind. It's never a concept that they've even given the slightest thought of. And they've killed the champion of a rival god in single combat. A chosen at first glance looks like a chaos. Wastewarer, but upon closer inspection, they tend to be a little taller.

He looks a little taller. He looks a little broader. And their helmets tend to have horns from it. And the armor itself has... He wish he was a little bit taller. He wishes he was a baller. Thank you. Thank you.

Continue. Which is for a rabbit in a hat. He would call her. Yes, sir. But the armor itself is twisted and taken the form of something a little more ornate. and despite their stature and their ranking, they do not act as commanders. Their command is to their patron deity and them alone. They lead by example and fight on their own,

hoping that their actions will result in others being turned to their god. And I have a quote about them that says, I have been chosen for greatness by the dark gods themselves. You, petty mortals, have been chosen only for death. That's sick as fuck. Egluxus, the executioner. Yeah, that's a good line.

That goes pretty hard. I've been chosen for greatness, and you, you've been chosen for death. Death. Blom, blah, blah, blah. And that is essentially sort of the wrap-up on the chaos warriors and the beastmen. So, congratulations.

We've covered. more or less all the factions until Kethe comes out. So I imagine we'll start seeing a lot more character-specific episodes. I'm sure there's going to be a Gottrick and Felix thing

coming up soon. You know, and God knows, there's so many names Skaven characters that we didn't get to in that big Skaven episode that I'm really looking for. Lots of really cool Skaven generals and stuff. So we've kind of

Not the basic factions all cleaved out and run down. So how do you feel, Ricky, about our... Bit of a journey through fantasy. Well, I mean, for this episode, it was a bit of whiplash because it started off with the Beastman, who I could care less about. And then it went to... It went straight to the Chaos Warriors,

who are, like, absolute ballers. So they're sick as hell, man. No, I don't know. I mean, like, it was a, it was a genuinely pretty good time. I had a blast. Thank you for taken through the fantasy. There's definitely ones I like more than others, 100%. Oh, yeah.

I will say a couple. So there are some obvious ones. Cetra and Nagash are still probably my favorites. The Tomb Kings are just, I mean, I love Necron's, you know? Like, it's just. Such is the power of Nagash. You're so right, King. It's just, it's necrons.

And I love, I love necrons with a burning passion, right? Mm-hmm. And so that's just, that's just sick as hell. And I absolutely adore that. There's also a little bit of the, what was it? A couple, a couple surprises. I, the vampire courts were pretty hilarious. I can't believe, I hate Manfred with such a burning passion.

Popular opinion, a very based opinion. Yep, nobody like, nobody really likes him. What a, what a tool bag. Yeah, I mean, it was kind of humorous because I didn't like expect to at all think anything good of, um, to think anything good of, of Manfred or anything like that or know who he was. But just halfway through the episode, he's being like, yeah, this Manfred dude sucks was very funny to me. He really, yeah, he sucks. He's, he's, oh, nobody likes him. Yep, yep. He is, I think a lot of people like to compare.

His hatred is up there with like, arabis levels of hatred and fantasy. I think people really hate, man. He is a shitter. But past that, I will say I really like to the ogres. Yeah, the ogres were shockingly fun with just how, like, weirdly based,

like, oh yeah, I'm going to eat things and being tricked into things. Well, I don't know if they were tricked, but like, the fact that the great mom might not actually be a deity at all is just hilarious to me and they're just too stupid to realize it. I almost wonder if they're like, I mean, the ogrech is definitely not smart, but I don't, like, is there a situation where it's not that they're stupid?

It's just that they just don't care. I mean, yeah, I guess it could be. Sure. Why not? Yeah. Because like, oh, that's right. You missed the chaos dwarf episode, didn't you? That was Carrie on.

Oh, I did not do the chaos dwarf episode. That's true. But I can imagine what they are. Lots of like Iron Warrior style stuff, slavery industry, et cetera. I will say, I just. They love their slaves. The fact that like the ogres are just like football hooligans. Like they're all the come on England score some goals guys is just so funny to me, man.

they are they are the come on ingarland score some goals guys like they truly are the oh like i don't know i i i probably if i were to get because well fantasy is coming out with minis right now right and if i were to get anything i would get the cathay ones because the cathay ones look sick as hell um but if i were to play like sigmar i might play like ogres okay ogres or or tomb kings yeah i honestly i think i would i think i would play scaven like Man. Skaven are sick.

It's just so sinister. They're so Saturday morning cartoon, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil. I will backstab my mother if it gets me what I want evil. It's just, I'd love the silly little Skaven. They are really, really funny. I do like them for those reasons. But, yeah, I don't, I mean, there's a lot of good fantasy stuff. I think the main thing for me is that I just enjoy, I enjoy like a certain type of

archetype. And so they kind of go across both worlds, 40K and fantasy. And so naturally, Tomb Kings are really fun as a concept. The ogres are really fun. Even like, even humanity. Even the empire is pretty cool. But I honestly don't know if I like the empire. I think I just like, I think I just like Carl Franz. Another very based opinion. Another very, very based fantasy opinion to like Carl Franz. Truly, one of the best. best emperors they've had since probably, probably since Sigma or I guess Magnus the Pius was also a good

emperor. There seemed to be way more bad emperor. Well, it's just, just the, you land on a really good one. Just the idea of rolling around with Carl Franz and like Balthazar guilt. Also, Balthazar, welcome to a stalling,

a gentleman. Also, just the idea that he like pays with gold and that isn't actually gold. It's a, he's just like, he's such a shitter. I love it. Alchemically, alchemically turning stone into gold and then just being, you know, paying with it and then a couple days later, what the fuck is this? Yeah.

I would agree with you, Sean. I don't think there are any lame factions. I don't think any factions I actively dislike. There are just ones I clearly like more than others. Yeah. I don't actually have any factions I dislike in 40K either. But I think it's because we've spent so much time learning about all of them. they all have something you might enjoy.

Like, don't get me wrong, I always hate elves as a joke, but like, they're not that bad. And every time we do an elf episode, it's just like, oh, yeah, hey, these are a lot cooler than we thought. Amazing. Yeah, I feel like if anything, the elves in fantasy are maybe not my favorite, because they do feel a little bit basic, a little more basic than the classics. But I don't know. I'm excited to learn about Cathay. I want to learn about this dragon lady. I want to learn about this lantern and these sentinels.

I want to wear this stuff. I think what I'm most excited about for Cathay, I forget what their magic people are called, but we briefly talked about it in the ogre episode. Because the Grand Cathay, I don't know if it was the emperor or his court of mage-type people were the ones that caused that massive meteor

to just drop down on the ogres and make the Great Ma. And it's like, I'm sorry. They did what? And I remember in the script, Possom was like, yeah, they can do way more than that. And I was like, I'm sorry.

That was like a Final Fantasy 7 meteor. They dropped on the ogres, and that's not even the full extent of what they can do. I do be pretty funny. So, yeah, I'm pretty excited for Cathay, too, yeah. All right, all right. We got some options.

We got some, we got some ideas. Mm-hmm. and big shout out to Possum for this episode because the Beastmen and Chaos Warriors like on the Wiki there's a total of like four pages So Possum really really helped

bolster this episode up all There's not a ton on the Beastman and Chaos Warriors on like just the Wiki it's a little it's a little barren so I'm definitely happy to have Possum for this episode for sure all right all right

well good once again possum doing the usual hell yeah and uh all right also um I guess for the next episode we're uh

gonna check out kathay when it comes out until the codex comes out but until then there's the possibility of I'm gonna find out this got trick and Felix stuff I'm gonna find out why everyone likes these folks so much

yes you will I get there's no way we can do fantasy stuff and not cover them. Hell yeah. All right. Sick. Thanks everyone for watching. Appreciate it very much. Enjoy your time. Have a great rest of your day. And don't hurt yourselves.