Adeptus Ridiculous - BRETONNIA: FOR THE LADY! | Warhammer Fantasy Lore

Episode Date: February 16, 2025

https://www.patreon.com/AdeptusRidiculoushttps://www.adeptusridiculous.com/https://twitter.com/AdRidiculoushttps://orchideight.com/collections/adeptus-ridiculousBretonnia, formally the Kingdom of Bretonnia, also known more prosaically as the "Land of Chivalry," is a highly martial Human feudal kingdom of the Old World that lies between the lands of the Grey Mountains and the Great Ocean. Bretonnia is second only in size to that of the Empire among the realms of Men in the Old World, and is both the Empire's chief rival and closest ally, having a culture and society that revolves around the ideals of nobility, a strict social hierarchy based on aristocratic birthright, and the upholding of a strictly enforced code of chivalry.Support the show

talk about that other Warhammer thing, but it's like old and stuff. Before we get started with that, if you'd enjoy this podcast and you would like to support us, head on over to patreon.com slash adeptus ridiculous, where you get access to all of our good benefits like the Discord, bloopers, if they happen, the posters with a brand new one that just was released. Whoa, 40 megaton bomb upon yee, funny, dying emoji sound effect. I don't have that on my soundboard, unfortunately. It's fine. Patreon.com

Think fast chuckle nuts Think fast chuckle nuts Patreon.com slash adeptness ridiculous and if you would like something a bit more physical a bit more tangible head on down to the description

to Orchid 8 in which we sell a ton of merch We're talking shirts, hoodies, dice, desk mats objective markers all of the good stuff check it out down at Patreon

Nope well check that out too but Orkinate.com Yippee! Yippee! That would be poster's great That would be a blooper if I didn't if I didn't recover it, but we recovered it. Smooth.

Way to rob Patreon of content. Absolutely. So, DK, old. You? It's like old and stuff. Yes, I too am old. And before we get the episode going, I think our researcher deserves like a huge shout-out. Because they gave a lot of help to this one when they didn't have to.

and so, you know, I feel like, you know, a little shout out, you know, because it was appreciated. But we are doing fantasy today and Bricky, are you ready for your quote? You know, I've just realized that maybe I gave you too much difficulty when quotes and stuff. because like now I'm getting it and now I'm like oh dear you know I feel like you have a pretty good track record with quotes though

So Berkey you ready ready ready for your quote Yeah yeah I'll just do the quote Just toss it Okay so your quote today is In the west of the old world Lies a fabled land of honor and virtue Where noble knights of the realm Keep their domain safe

As their peasants tilled the fields where knights errant strive to win their spurs in battle and where questing knights venture in search of the most holy artifact, the grail. For it is said that to sup from the most holy chalice a knight will become more than just a hero, he will become a saint. Oh.

Okay, so my first thought, my first thought was something Britonia-related, because nights and stuff. Sure. But then you said sip from the chalice. And that's, see, I'm not just saying this because shy earlier in all caps said it's vampires. But like now I'm starting to wonder if it is the vampires because I'm starting to wonder if your quote is an intentional deflection as a way to be like, hey, yeah, they think they're this way. But in reality, they're like awful nobles and they're sipping with the chalice of blood.

to become like a saint. Ooh. So you think this might be like a vampire court situation where they think they're questing for immortality. And they are questing for immortality, but it is like turned on them. It's, they get one eight and it's like,

yes, your immortality is vampire pirates. I was thinking more so like, uh, you know how like Nemesor Zandric thinks he's doing cool things, but in reality it's totally different. I was thinking more along those lines. I will final answer the vampires because I think I think there's going to be there's a little bit of chicanery afoot and you're trying to flip it around.

I'm so sorry you played yourself. It's Bretonia. It is Bretonia. You unfortunately you play. You should have just gone with your gut. You had it. No. You had it.

I thought. I don't know. It seemed too obvious. Sometimes the obvious ones are the hardest because it's like, oh, no way. They're throwing, no. Literally every test ever taken where it's like, okay, here is the super obvious answer, two very obvious not answers, and none of the above. And you're like, wow. Is it none of the above?

Because like. Or when you get the test and you got a, it's like the ABC one and you're like, oh, the last two were A. The third one can't also be A. Mm-hmm. But A makes the most sense. B sounds kind of right. No way they would triple A on me. There's no.

Yeah. That's the problem with the testing system is that they use tricks like that that are unrelated to the answer. Yeah. I was always so bad at test taking. I was a horrible test taker. Anyway, on today's episode of Realm of Ridiculous, like we just said, we are going to be delving into Bratonia,

which right off the bat, you are going to notice. some very heavy similarities to like old England, France, specifically, a lot of Arthurian legends. This is so Arthur-coded. It's crazy. It's not really subtle just to get that out of the way, nice and early. And like with our last episode, I'm just going to be trying to paint sort of a general picture of Britonia rather than trying to talk about every single character, every single conflict. We're kind of just doing a nice, juicy, overview on kind of what it was like in Britonia, how it was founded, stuff like that. So, let's go ahead, dig our heels in with the founding of Britonia.

Is Britonia a major faction? Oh, Brutonia is a big faction. Brutonia is sort of like the pseudo rival to the empire. They're on the empire's border. Sometimes they get along. Sometimes they're in bloody conflict. Um, if you remember it was, um, when we did the empire episode, which I'm sure I'll bring this up again, this episode. Uh, it was a very famous Bretonian knight, the green knight that, uh, saved Carl Franz and sort of escorted him to the king of Britonia.

And, uh, it was the king of Briton. I was like, you got to run for emperor. We need strong empire. And that's why, uh, Carl Franz eventually became the boy. Right. And Carl Franz is, uh, a baller, as they say. say. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Right, Carl Fons. Yep, he was, he is the guy. Right, Carl Fons is... An emperor who could walk. Right. Carl Fonz is the dude, right? Yes, he is that guy.

He's the guy. Because sometimes I get the names mixed up, but if I recall correctly, he is him. Oh, yes, Carl Franz is him. He is the only thing keeping humanity from getting overrun by all of the nonsense going on in the fantasy world. I can't get over the file. So I'm looking at the map and I see the Empire and then I see Bologna and then I see Estalia and it's and like a stim.

A stim just hits me. Welcome. Welcome to a stallia, gentlemen. Like just just seeing that word, it's like a sleeper agent where I do a tweak and I just like, and I just see Balthazar gelt with the sunglasses on. Okay. True. Okay.

So, okay, yeah, Betonia is about like, a little smaller than Empire. size. But like, it's pretty big. It's pretty big. It's pretty big. But to make a long story short, so we kind of covered how the empire was formed with humans coming over the world's edge mountain, banding together, expelling the green skins, settling their tribes in the area. Britonians are more or less the same. They're kind of over to the west near the gray mountains and bordering the gray ocean. Atha Lauren is also in their little area, which

that's where the wood elves reside. If you don't remember them, they're the leftovers after the high elves dipped it back to Ulthwan after that funky crazy war of the beard. Oh, right. Yes. The war of the beard.

The war of the beard. Of course. You shaitan elf's beard. Of course. Of course. Yeah. And the reason the Britonians are going for this area is because the land here is super easily farmable, really easy to cultivate, really easy to get your tribes going, although this is like the dark age of Britonian. And the problem is these lands, while they are very fertile, it's because there are a lot of

valleys of gigantic mountain ranges, the gray mountains, southern mountains, and, um, Unfortunately, because of that, there are no really good, like, natural defenses. So, orcs and goblins and greenskins can very easily kind of just drop in on you and just make your life a living hell. And the other problem is that this is really early on in Bretonius history. So they're not unified. They're not together. So when the greenskins aren't making an absolute mess of everything, the Brutoni tribes are attacking each other because they're like, oh, I'm better than you. I'm going to attack you.

I'm going to take over everything. Hooray for me, hooray for me. So it actually kind of is a pretty dark age of Britonia. If they're not getting attacked by orcs, they're getting attacked by their own people. I mean, it's a very pretty looking landscape outside of the gibbet I see on the left, but. It's true. That is a great picture. Oh, God rays coming down from the clouds and then...

Just looks like Eldon Ring. Yeah. Yep. Also, the, um, is it... You haven't played Uncharted 4, have you? I haven't played any of the uncharted games. There's a little... There's a little sequence where him and Nathan Drake and his, and Elaine of his wife

were like arguing about how to pronounce it. It's like, is it gibbet or gibbet? And they were just like, it was like a 10-minute conversation. It always makes me laugh. But, gibbet. Yeah. Besides the gibbet, it looks pretty. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was going to say, I was going to make a stupid Final Fantasy 14 reference,

but this is not the time or the place to do it. So while they're kind of doing their thing over in sort of the West, the empire is forming, Sigmar's getting everything cooking, and he's like, you know what? I want to unite, like, all of humanity. So you know what? Let me extend a hand to Britonia. right or brittoni just brittoni tribes at this point he's like you know what join my army but brittoni the brittoni tribes right now are just like nope nope i'm not joining you we're not joining you we have our own problems we're dealing with our own stuff and you know we don't like much the idea of a foreign ruler taking us over so you know what you can take your silly little empire and stuff it and also because they refuse to join

him. They're just warring tribes right now. They're fighting each other. They're fighting orcs. Um, so unfortunately, uh, Brutoni end up as tribes just battling in this valley for like another thousand years. And had they accepted Sigmar's offer, they probably would have advanced a lot quicker, a lot sooner, and probably not shed so much of their countryman's blood. but it seems like they kind of like hurting each other yeah at this point in time they kind of do like hurting each other

they kind of do like fighting each other they kind of yeah they do they do but during this time the Brutoni tribes they are all about their knights and their warriors if you're in one of these

Brutoni tribe villages and you're a knight or a warrior or whatever you are basically head and shoulders above everybody else. The whole village, their entire purpose, is to make sure that you are well fed. You have the best horse to ride. You have the best equipment for battle.

You got everything you need. You are the great and noble defender. You are the cream. The best of everything. And every non-warier job was to provide for you. So, okay, they are, they're a pure, War, war-focused group, it seems like. I mean, basically, they make sure that the warriors are well-equipped.

They do everything for the warriors. And in return, while that might sound cushy, when it comes time to defend the village, when it comes time to fight, you're expected to defend the damn village. Didn't matter how many enemies that were at the gate. Doesn't matter how crazy strong they looked. It didn't matter if it seemed like death was an inevitability. you went out and you fought your hardest for the people who have been providing for you. Okay, interesting.

Uh, but they keep killing each other. Yes, they do. These dukedoms. So at this point, they are, uh, 16 different,

like little sections of Britonia. They're dukedoms. Each one is ruled by a duke. And yeah, they are kind of separate entities now that are just kind of like killing each other fighting each other, fighting the orcs. And yeah, there's, there's, there's, there's not a whole lot of a nice, nice playtime together. Wait, what makes the Duke so dumb?

Okay. So we're just, we're just moving on. We are just moving on. We're not acknowledging that. We're not talking about that. We're just moving right along. But wouldn't you know it? The Knights of Britonia would have a chance to prove their medal.

There is this massive, wah, that comes stormy. into their lands from the massive oracle mountains, which if you're looking in a map of fantasy, it's sitting kind of in the southern-ish end of Britonia, kind of on the border of the Aethel Lauren Forest. Also, before getting to this part, you know how I mentioned this is very England, France, Arthurian legend-coded? There are going to be so many French-coded names that I am going to mispronounce. I am so sorry for anybody that knows how to pronounce them. I was going to say that This seems mostly French kind of based. Yeah.

But there's this place. It's called C-U-I-L-E-U-X. Coulio? And when called upon, the noble knights of this land strode into battle against this massive orc-wa. And they did everything they could do. They were fighting valiantly. We have to defend our home.

We are honorable knights. And they died to the last. man fighting as hard and as honorably as they possibly could. Well, that sucks. That's not very coolio of them. That is very, there is

not collier of them. And a note that our researcher added was in the future, spoiler alert, Bertonia does eventually get unified. And they make songs about this

thing happening, this sort of like slaughter. And in the songs, this huge wah is recontextualized as a smart, unified force that conspire to conquer and enslave the Bretonians and prevent their unification, which these songs end up more or less being retroactive propaganda by the Britonians in their attempts to romanticize Cullio, getting absolutely body. by orcs. Right.

And right, because the orcs could care less about enslaving people. Well, I guess they do it a little bit, but... Yeah, but it probably

sounds more honorable that like, oh, of course the greenskins didn't clobber us. Oh, it was this, it was this crazy, smart, unified force that did it, you know?

It wasn't, it wasn't just some blathering green skin buffoons. No, honorable Britonian knights stopped by green skins. Nay, Nay, nay, right?

Was that, I'm assuming the Bretonian pride is a huge part of this whole thing and will often be maybe the reason why war is fought? Yeah, Britonian, the honor of a Bretonian knight is a big deal. Hmm. But their sacrifice would not be in vain. So the Knights of Cuyo were just obliterated, died to the. the last man. They fought valiantly. And even though they're all dead, they made sure

that the orcs they got, they felt the sting to. The Greenskin army had been severely weakened to the point where there are these two dukedoms called Quinnells and Breon. They're kind of to the west.

Those two armies could ride in and they just dismantled what was left of the Greenskins. and they just totally drove them out from the ruined mass that was Kuyo. And wouldn't you know it, now that all the green skins are gone and Kuyo doesn't have any people in it, well, gosh, golly, someone needs to rule over all this new land, Bricky. Oh. So, of course, with the blood of the green skins and the Kuyo still wet on the ground, the army. of both Quinnell's and Breone

would face off against each other for who should get to have these new lands. How long was this war? Actually, this is one of the few occasions where after everything that happened, after all the bloodshed, after all the war, the two ruling dukes were like, you know what, bleeding our people dry,

probably not a great idea. And you know what? Our soldiers really are just not. not feeling another sort of like civil war deal. They really don't want to fight each other. So you know what? We're just going to have an honor duel. The two dukes just have an honor duel.

And whoever wins the duel gets to rule over the now vacant remains of Kudyo. Oh, okay. I mean, that's just not what I honestly expected from them to be perfectly honest. I know. I was kind of shocked too. I was like, wow, they just have a normal honor duel. They care about their soldiers. then, wow, yeah, I expect them to go on a full-on four-year war over it.

I mean, care about their soldiers might be a little. Yeah, it's a stretch. It might be a little bit of a stretch. Yeah, it might be a little bit of a stretch. The soldiers are probably just like, no, we're not fighting. Figure something else out. And they were like, oh, well, all right. Yeah, that sounds more like it.

Yeah. But to make a long story short, the Duke of Quinnells would be victorious. And now if you look at the southern map of Bretonia, it says Quinells in big letters. So they got to expand. They got all this land. Lovely. All right. I mean, yeah, that's true.

That's probably the largest chunk I see there currently. Yeah. Because they absorb their lands and the Kulio lands. Outside of Carcassoni? Yep. Carcasson. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's good enough.

Yeah. That's a big plot of land. They are right on Atha Lauren's doorstep. That's close enough. I figured it out. Yep. But as time went on, Brutonia would find itself embroiled in battle on almost every front you could be. So they now have a new green skin horde attacking them with orcs and goblins.

There are Norseker raiders that are just laying waste to their coast. They have beastmen running amok everywhere. Oh, and by the way, some of Cetra's undead legions just happened to mosey their way over. to Brutonia by boat on the western coast too. So lovely, they are getting attacked on all fronts. Cetra's so funny. He's just such a funny. He's just such a funny.

I don't know. Like, I got to be honest, out of all the episodes we've done, I think the, they're Tomb Kings, right? Mm-hmm. They might be my favorite because they're just so like, I don't know they remind. I mean, they're obviously like, like, Necron coded or like Necrons are Tomb King coded or which are coded to Egyptian undead, et cetera, et cetera, you know, everything. There's no new ideas.

But just they're just such like, I don't know, just such assholes. Like, we killed each other. And now I'm really mad. And now, like, I'm just going to walk my ass into Bertone and beat the crap out of you for reasons. I hope. Oh, no. Shy.

I'm not reading all those. I'm not. Hey, listen. I do it on the Patreon. If you want to hear me say all the names, it did Patreon.com. slash adeptus. Ridiculous. The Cetra, what I assume.

Yeah, all of Cetra's titles, yep. Yeah. Yep. And as you can imagine, getting attacked on literally all fronts, dukedoms are now just like completely separated from one another. Any alliances they might have had, they can't really handle right now because they're just, there is just bullshit spewing from every corner of the globe.

everybody's in a defensive position, everybody's struggling. And so at this point, they're like, oh, man, if only there was a way we could all, like, unify. If only, if only there was, like, someone that could help. But, God, we're all just struggling so hard to fight off this crazy front. And it's looking, it's looking like gloom and doom for Bertone. It's looking like all hope is lost because, like, 15 different dukedums, they're not unified. they're getting kind of slaughtered a little bit

and it takes one man trying to do the impossible. To ride out, he wants to unite all of people of Britonia. He wants to take back their lands and drive out all these hordes of invaders. His name was Duke Guy Le Breton. Hopefully I said that, right?

G-I-L-L-E-S. How would you pronounce that? Isn't Guy like a cheese? I think you're thinking of Bree. You're right, but Guy is also a food item. It could be. I'm going to call him Guy. Oh, chicken, ghee?

Oh, dear, I don't know what it is. Never mind, Mr. Guy. Guy Le Breton, the Duke of a place called Bastogne. And he would try to amass as big of an army as he could. I think he gets like two of his good. friends are also dukes, so they kind of like amass as much of an army as they possibly can. And Guy Le Breton symbol is a red dragon. You can see it on that picture shy just posted of him. And this dragon's name was Smirgus. And he kills this dragon before he becomes a duke.

He drags the head of this red dragon back to Castle Bastogne where it hangs over the gates named Guy Gate. He literally has a dragon head over his gate. It's that kind of thing. It's that kind of thing. Okay. But even with Gie's sort of army, the best army he could amass,

they really couldn't hope to win. They're getting pushed back. They're getting kind of decimated. And it looks like Gie's hopes of uniting Britonia would end with but a whimper. Uh, as it would happen, however, uh, while he is at the mercy of another wah, uh, in Guy and Brutonius' darkest hour, he would wade into a nearby lake because he's like, oh man, I don't know how much more of this I can do. I got at least get a drink. And you know what? While I'm at the lake, let me make like one final prayer for victory. You know, let me just have this one peaceful respite, make a prayer and, you know, we'll see where it goes from there. Lo and behold, an ethereal lady would appear before him. Yes, a literal lady of the lake appeared before Guy and the Bretonian army.

Oh, okay. And, oh, wow, we're really, we're really doing that old Europe thing here. This makes sense. Yep, it's not subtle. Nope, nope, not subtle. All right, cool, cool. Sounds good. Yep.

And upon seeing this. heavenly lady, Ghee requested his banner, be blessed, bless my banner. And when Gie dipped his banner into the waters, he would, because at this point, his banner is tattered,

it's torn, it's covered in dirt, it's grimy, but when he removes it from the waters, the banner is not only perfectly dry, it's fully restored. Not only is it fully restored, but it now has emblazed,

upon it, the image of the Lady of the Lake, as an awesome avenging goddess for their new banner. Do we have pictures of the banner? I'm sure we must. I would love to see a picture of said banner with the Lady of Said Lake. The Lady of the Lake. But after seeing this, all of the Bretonian soldiers are like, whoa! Whoa! And they start, like, dipping their armor.

in there. They start dipping their weapons in there. They're like, hey, hey, horsey, go drink from the lake. Get blessed by the lady. Gis got like a bunch of new gear. He got a new banner. His banner was restored. You know, as our researcher said,

it was very much a, all have what he's having. Yep. Mm-hmm. And specifically to the Dukes and to Gey, the lady allowed them to drink from a golden chalice she was carrying,

a holy grail, if you will, Bricky. And these three would be given the strength needed, not only to survive the day, but to hopefully unite all of Britonia as the first three grail nights. Ah, so this is where the grail comes from. Mm-hmm. Wait, did it just come, I mean, was, was, was key tripping?

Like, like, did anyone have, have any confirmation that he saw this ethereal lady from the lake? Oh yeah. The whole army saw it and his, the three dukes that he had amassed with him, or I think he has two dukes and himself, they all

drink from the Holy Grail that she is carrying. They all see her. Okay, okay. He's not just tripping balls. He's not like the Messiah. He's the only one that can see it. I thought he saw, because the image here, I only see Ghee, so I wasn't sure. Oh, sure, if it was just the one type thing. Okay.

Okay, cool. I wasn't sure he was just like, whoa. And then he ran back. It's like, guys, guys. Guess what I saw at the lake? You don't get it. It's crazy. Yeah, okay, gotcha, gotcha.

And we have a cool quote here. Rays of the sun lit the waters of the lake and the vapors began to fade. The lady of the lake melted back into the water and disappeared. The other dukes turned and looked at Guy bearing the banner of the Lady of the Lake. One step forward and said, You bear her banner. You must lead us this day. And immediately knelt, presenting his sword to Guy in the manner of a knight-errant to a true knight. Then the other dukes and knights did likewise,

acknowledging Guy as their leader for this battle. Okay, okay. So we're full on. The ethereal lady, the chalice, the vision. He is now the chosen one, et cetera. Mm-hmm. Okay. It is not subtle. Nope. Nope. That's fine, though.

That's fine. I see what they're getting at, and that's all that matters. Mm-hmm. And so the knights would mount their trusty warhorses as the green-skinned horde surrounded them. But with renewed vigor from the Lady of the Lake and with their grail knights, the armies of Britonia carved through the greenskin horde. like what used to be a Wad that was probably going to kill them and annihilate them and eat their bones, the Brutonian Knights, the Grail Knights specifically, it seemed almost effortless the way that they just cleaved through this Wa.

Our editor was like, oh yeah, it seems like they had God mode on. Their lack of wavering was horrifying to the enemies. It was just a complete 180 and they just obliterated the orcs. Were they just like them or were, like, I'm trying to, like, were they act, they, they weren't souped up in any way. They were just like morally way, way better. To be fair, the grail knights were literally souped up. Right.

The grail, okay, the grail nights were, were drinking, drinking the bathwater of the lady and like going, becoming like hardcore. I got that part. But, um, Drake her bathwater. Oh, no. The lady with the lady with no shoes. It's on our side.

I would also imagine that the regular army probably got a little buffed up because they were also dipping their weapons, their armor and letting the horses drink from like the lake that was sacred. So I have to believe that the whole army got absolutely boosted up. And, and obviously having the grail night super important, but like surely the rest of of them got kind of a nice little renewed vigor from the lay, maybe not to the

Grail Knight status, but enough to just like absolutely hammer through the orcs. Sure, sure. I believe it. It makes sense, even though it's shenanigans. Yeah, well, it is Warhammer after all. And to keep the video, at least relatively

short, for me anyway, what happens next essentially is that Guy Le Breton takes the Britonian army with his Grail Knights and they embark upon numerous great battles

in order to unify Britonia. They're going from dukedom to dukedom, aiding everyone they can and driving out all of these crazy hordes of Cetra's undead legions, greenskin, Norseca, all that. In the Britonia history book, these battles are referred to as the 12 great battles that took place over two years.

To quote from one of the books to help kind of sum this up, each of these battles is subject of more epic poems than a scholar could read in a human lifetime. But also during this time, Guy was known as Le Breton, which acknowledged his uncrowned authority throughout Britonia. Okay. So is Guy him? Guy right now is him. He is absolutely him. He essentially through 12 great battles has unified Britonia. He is driven out most of the forces and as they go actually from dukedum to dukedom, they would find anyone that seemed worthy, anyone that seemed like, oh man, you are really

fighting the cause, you're really helping us out. If they were found deserving of the lady of the lake, she would allow them to drink from the chalice too and you would get another grail knight. And so they would just continuously bolster their forces. They would unify the army. They'd get more grail knights and just really kind of amp up the unification of Bretonia. So like grail knights are like they're like their main champions. Oh, yeah. From what I've seen grail knights are more or less your super soldiers.

Okay, that makes sense, yeah. Okay. Yep, you drink from the grail, you're blessed with super strength, a longer life, you get some degree of regeneration, your wounds will start to close on their own, and you're just so much tougher. And I think I was reading on the wiki that more or less, unless you're like at the level of a chaos champion, you have no chance against a grail night.

So do we know anything about the lady? Not a ton. Well, okay, we do, but it's end time spoilers. Okay. So I don't know if we should, because we do know who the lady of the lake is and why she is doing what she is doing. But that's for the end times episode. Okay, okay. Because, okay, because like this, she, she just came out of no way.

and is blessing everyone with a huge amount of power. And for seemingly no, I am, I am suspicious. Hey, you, listen, it's Warhammer. You are right to be suspicious of literally everything that happens. No one has ever done anything out of their own kindness in this world. There's something up with it. And that is one of the player. I love that I look over at chat and shy's just like, unfortunately, yes.

in end times. Please don't, don't. Don't spoil. Yeah, well, I'll have to figure it out one day. Well, when we do the end times episode, I'm sure it'll come up. When the fighting was said and done, the kingdom of Britonia is finally united under Guy Le Breton, the Lady of the Lake, and their noble grail knights that had drunk from the Holy Grail.

It should come as no surprise that all the dukedoms were very happy to be united under Guy, who would now be known as the Uniter, the Unifier. The Lady of the Lake also can't quite be at their beck and call 24-7. So she actually has a representative that speaks on her behalf. Someone called the Fay Enchantress.

And the Fay Enchantress, aside from maybe the king, is the most important. important figure in all of Britonia. You do not do anything of importance in the kingdom without getting her say-so and her confirmation first, because she is, for all intents and purposes, the voice of your goddess who you revere. Literally, you cannot crown a new king unless you get the approval of the Faye Enchantress. Okay. Is she also like,

Or is she a bit more like humanoid? She is also a bit fancy. And because she is like this, like, oh, yeah, I speak for the lady. People did think that maybe this is actually the Lady of the Lake taking a different form. She says she's not. But people like, ah. So, you know, but she is, for all intents and purposes, the voice of the Lady of the Lake. Is she also barefoot?

Yeah, probably. Let's go. Yeah, probably sure. Now, eventually in, oh, I think it's around 17 years after the unification of Britonia, unfortunately, Guy Le Breton would be slain in combat. Oh, no, so he's not him. No, 17 years later, though. Like he has a nice rain.

Like to rain for 17 years in sort of like medieval times, not the restaurant, is pretty, pretty decent. You say not the, you say not the restaurant. Like, would we call it a restaurant? It's more like a show. That's true. It is more of a show. My birthday's coming up and I kind of want to go to medieval times just for nostalgia sake. Have you been to medieval times?

I used to go all the time for my birthday when I was like young. When I was, between the ages of like maybe 10 to 15, I'd go every year. Really? Every year. I love that shit. I always deemed medieval times as like the classic like rural American trip. You know, like, it's like, ah, like I am a, here is me, normal American family, two parents, three kids. We're going to go on a family trip and we're going to medieval times, you know?

Like, I always, it's like, ah, the classic. That's fair. That was basically my birthday every year. Was the, oh, yeah, we're going to drive a couple hours to like Anaheim-ish area and medieval times. Huh. That's interesting. I've only ever been once. It's a, it's an experience.

Yeah, you do. It's fun. It's fine. I don't know. The food's pretty bad. Yeah, but you get to eat it with your hands. I can do that whatever I want. So long as no one judge this.

me. True. Well, if you go on your birthday, the king will night you. I used to have pictures of me getting knighted. No, no, I mean, I'm not, I'm not yucking your yum, man. Like, I just, I don't know. For me, I feel like I need to get pissed drunk and then I would like really enjoy it. They have a, they have a room filled with medieval torture devices, but you can't go in unless you're 18 plus, so I never got to see it.

Actually, I did go in that room and I didn't like it, actually. I don't know. I walked through it, I started getting like a little like, ugh. Yeah. I started getting a little squinting. Anyway, anyway, all right, all right. So, Guy Le Breton would be slain in combat. And sadly, his death is not the most glorious thing ever.

Essentially, he is making his way to the lake to sort of again, oh, thanks, lady. We're going to make a pilgrimage to the lake, small group of knights. And sadly, they kind of get ambushed by orcs. and I guess there was an orc chieftain that had like this huge grudge against him. And it varies from source to source, but he was either killed by an enchanted weapon or a cowardly bolt. So he gets killed by this ranged weapon that nobody saw coming. And everyone's like, oh my God, that's such a...

What sort of coward would do that to Guy Le Breton? Who would do... Oh, that's so cowardly. And as the... Who did it, though? Do we know? Just some orchieftain that just had a grudge against him, probably because he was the one that, like, absolutely slaughtered the orc waugh and drove them out of Britonia. So it's genuinely nobody crazy.

It's just... Just some or chieftain. Yeah, it's just some orc just probably through a spear or something and just... Oh, okay. Yeah. And as he's dying, he has this vision. And he asks his remaining companions to bring him to the lake. And there he is put on a boat.

Some sources say the boat was already there. Some are like, oh, yeah, they had to bring the boat. But they put his body onto the boat and they sort of push him out into the mists where hopefully he is reunited with the lady herself. It's a funny little swan That's a funny little swan right Although apparently in another book It states that the knights took him to the lake And the lady herself appeared on the boat

And asked them to place him on the boat Where it went off And in another one It was just him asking them to do it So apparently sources are a little conflicted But they lose their king And the knights are obviously Kind of devastated because, oh my gosh,

God, we lost the man. We lost him. We lost Guy. And so with the death of Guy, Le Breton, obviously someone needs to take up the mantle of being the new King of Britonia. And unfortunately, at the time, they didn't really have any sort of rituals in place for how to crown a new king. And so they were a little like, uh-oh, like, what do we do now? What sort of requirements do we make for the king? And so what they decided, after debating this for a while, the knights decided ultimately that if you were going to be a future king of Britonia, you needed to kind of be like

gee, you had to have the blessing of the lady of the lake. You had to drink from the grill. There was no two ways about that. And so everybody kind of wanted Guy's son, Louis, to take over his king. But with their new rule, that was going to be a problem

because Louis never drank from the grail. He didn't have the blessing of the lady of the lake. He wasn't a grail knight. He wasn't like the backbone of the Bretonian belief system. So he couldn't immediately become king, but to

his credit, he actually does go out and he starts questing through Britonia. He's trying to find the Lady of the Lake. He's looking for the Faye Enchantress. And along the way, he's doing good deeds. He's helping people out. He's driving off bad people. You know, he's trying to show that he's worthy of drinking from the grail, of being like his dad. And this did garner him the name Louis the rash because he was very rash about it and his quest actually started the trend of

questing knights of knights going on heroic quests around the country to serve the people to slay foul monsters and beasts and of knights showing their worth to the lady to gain the blessings of the grail okay I mean like

at least he seems like he tried yeah and he actually does succeed. He actually does, well, so he comes back and he has this glowing aura to him. And for further context, thank you again, researcher. Louis set off to find the lake and he found it. He wandered around this lake for days,

but the lady wasn't there. He was then given visions that told him that apparently the Lady of the Lake may appear around several lakes. She's not just beholden to the one that Guy found her at. So, Louis seeks the Lady of the Lake for years. During this time, back at home, all of the knights are basically governing, making sure everything is kept proper. And when Louis comes back, like I said, he has this glow about him.

he's got enchanted weapons he's got a golden crown um and everyone was just like you know what yep there's no doubt he encountered the lady you know hmm buts i mean actually there is no but there is a quote that uh that i've been given in the days that followed he and a party of dukes and knights rode to the lake where the fe and chantress dwelt to ask her the meaning of the gold crown that he had received because he didn't quite understand that he didn't quite understand understand this stuff that he had gotten. When she eventually appeared, she declared it to be the crown

of Brutonia, to be worn by the king of all Brutonia, and that the Lady of the Lake had chosen Louis, son of Guy, to be king. A few days later, she placed the golden crown of Britonia upon Louis's head, and all the Dukes and knights gathered

there, hailed him as the first king of Britonia. All the Dukes pledged their loyalty and allegiance to Louis, to the Lady of the lake and the sacred grail. Oh, so he just kind of found it? Yeah, I guess.

It's weird because like there isn't, it doesn't seem like there's actually like a specific example of him actually like meeting the lady, but he's given like a crown, he's given enchanted weapons, he's got a golden glow, so it is assumed that yeah, he found the lady,

she gave him all this stuff and he drank from the grail and now, hooray, Louis King. That really, really did assume that there would be something more on the lines of like, oh, you know, like I found or I don't know, like the meeting if he's, because I'm assuming Louie is like the new him. Yes, he is the new him. Yeah, it's weird because like the whole time I was reading this, I was expecting foul play. I was expecting someone to be like, oh, no, he's, he's the false king. he didn't actually find the lady.

Surely he's just pretending. And it's just like, nope. He's the king now. He did it. Questing Knight did his thing. Yeah. All right. All right, I guess.

Yep. Another quote from shy. His golden hair shining in his eyes aglow with noble power. None could doubt that the lady had blessed him and his subjects fell to their knees before him. Okay. I mean, okay. I don't know. I'm so suspicious.

I know. I was the same way, but, you know, he never really does anything bad either. So it's not like he's specifically doing this to, like, corrupt the country or for his own personal gain. He's a good king. Huh. Okay. All right. I don't know.

I'm so, so many gambits, so many unintentional, like, Not unintentional. So many cursed items, so many, I don't know. All right, all right, all right. Yeah. And it's under Louis that Brutonia starts to really become like this nightly chivalric country. Like he really pushes this idea on the country that like you should strive to live your life like my father. Live like my father.

Live like the Honorable Grail Knights that united all of Brutonia. and in doing so he also creates sort of this list of commandments and rules of honor that every good knight should follow in order to best serve the country and be the best night you can be and so here's the list of the seven commandments that he made you've got pretty obvious serve the lady of the lake defend domains entrusted to you protect the weak and fight for what's right always fight the enemies of order and virtue Never give up until your foe is defeated. Never break faith with friend or ally and always display honor and courtesy. And this obviously is really reinforcing, like, devotion to the lady is so important.

Like, there are chapels popping up. They're called grail chapels, where knights can, you know, worship her. They can set off on their own grail quest. and yeah it's it's very very chivalric and then there are rules of honor which are more kind of like how a knight should conduct themselves on the field of combat and those are like a knight may only fight hand to hand with sword or lance he may never use a missile weapon a knight shall always accept a challenge towards personal combat a knight shall not draw sword against his fellow Bretonian except in trial by combat or a tournament, which is a new one for them. A knight shall now allow himself, shall not allow himself to be captured alive,

and a knight shall not flee from the enemy or retreat without proper tactical cause. All right. So, yeah, they're, I mean, they already seemed relatively noble in a lot of ways, but this is like going full stop, yeah? Yep. And those rules are taken super, super, If you break these codes, there are only a few ways you can actually like redeem yourself. You have to set off on a grail quest, pledge yourself to either a lady or a higher ranked knight until they consider you redeemed or perform a feat or merit greater than the dishonor you had.

Okay. So you can you can re honor yourself in a way with that. kind of mess it. If you ever screw it up. Yeah. It's also important to note that Louis recognizes that Aethelorn is kind of sitting right at their border. And that's Wood Elf territory. And if he can at least get them kind of on his good side, having them defend that region

from invaders, that would probably be a pretty good idea. So he sends word to the Wood Elves that as long as they help Brutonia defend against their common enemies, then he would make sure that no person from Brutonia would defile their sacred forest. And if you remember, wood elves are very isolationist. They don't love people going into their forest. So they're like, you know what? Yeah.

Sure. Yeah, why not? Yeah, that makes sense. I remember them being very like, hey, knock it off. Yep, yep. And our researcher also added context saying that the thing with A, Aethel Lauren is that despite the wood elves defending their border, they didn't have any reason not to just kind of force the enemies out towards the direction of Bretonia. So the offer to the

wood elves was, as they put it, kind of like giving them an edible arrangement saying, hey, thanks for inadvertently helping us. The enemy of my enemy is my friend. So we'll help you out in return. Yeah, that sounds, yeah, okay, that makes that makes plenty of sense. I love our researcher. They seem like they would be amicable in their own way. Yeah. And so that's sort of like the TLDR when it comes to like the founding of Britonia. And again, this is sort of just scratching the surface of their numerous battles and stuff like that. There's still a lot of Bretonian lore to go over.

But that's sort of how we've got like the start of Britonia. That's like how it was founded, how Guy united Britonia into one huge force. So now we are going to talk about what it's like to sort of like live in Britonia. So when you're living in Britonia, you're in a very, very strict feudal caste system. Like we said before, everything you do, when you're like low man on the totem pole, when you're like a peasant or something, you serve the nobility, you serve the knights. You give them everything they need in order to protect you. and the citizenry. So you're often

if born a peasant, you stay a peasant. Oh yeah. Yeah. And actually we'll talk about that later. Because like I can talk about it now. Apparently there have been like three times where a peasant has risen above and

been brought into like the nobility. I don't know what the specific three times were. But apparently what happened was even though they got like lifted up into nobility, their whole lineage was not. It's just those three. So the rest of their family still remains peasants and their lineage of being nobles sort of ended with them. And the rest of their lineage is just like, yeah, you're still a peasant. That's funny.

That's just that's just kind of funny in general. It's like, yeah, sorry, for me, not for you. Bye. Yeah, for me, not for the, yep. but at the very tip-top of the ladder, obviously, is the king of Bratonia, and he is quite literally above the law. He can effectively do anything he wants. The laws do not apply to him, and he can make a new law whenever and wherever he damn pleases. This might be a weird question, but do they have, like, divine right to rule?

because that, I mean, they would assume they believe in like a god, but I don't think they have God, at least in this world. They'd be even leaving a lady, right? Yeah. So I would say it's more like, I mean, the lady does have to say like, yep, you should be king. I want you as king. I agree this person should be king. so in a roundabout way that's kind of a

It's just the lady Well so, okay So the lady of the lake is the one who basically is like Yep, you're the guy Yep, you have to have her blessing Her blessing or the Fay Enchantress's blessing Because she speaks for the lady. Yep. Right, right. Okay, so

So I'm assuming Louie is our guy then. Yep, Louis is currently our guy. And so Louie can do whatever the hell he wants. Whatever the hell. hell he wants. Is Louis a good guy? Yeah, Louis is a good guy actually. Louis is a pretty good guy. It should be noted that the feudal caste system is also, it appears nowhere else in

the old world. There's no other race has this feudal system because it's just ridiculously inefficient. So this is the only place you're going to find this feudal caste system. And you might think, and, Because as you said, you were like, is Louis a good king? And hearing all that, you would assume that, like, this is just the recipe for some of the most tyrannical kings of all time, just abusing their power and no regard for those lower than themselves, right? Well, Shai also did say, Bricky your 240K pill, not everyone is an asshole. But, like, I don't know.

We haven't found a whole lot of, like, fantastic people in fantasy either. There's some, but not a lot. So that's why I'm like, mm, you know. Yeah. But you'd actually be kind of wrong about it being like a recipe for a lot of tyrannical rulers,

mostly because again, like we said, and I'm probably going to say it a bunch more times, to become king, you've got to have the lady of the lake's blessing. She has to have deemed you worthy to drink from the grail. And you have to be the most upstanding, noble, chivalric person.

ever to be allowed to do that. So more or less, you're always going to get a king that only has like the most noble intentions for Britonia, for the people. Like, so obviously Louis doesn't last forever. And the current timeline king of Bretonia is someone named Luan Lecoux. Yikes. And he's so devoted to the people that he is genuinely, if you can, if you can, if you you can bring a case before him.

Like usually kings only talk to like dukes, baron's nobility, but if a peasant can get his ear, get like a duke to bring the case to him, the king will hear you out and he will judge you fairly. He does not care that you're a peasant. If you are wronged

by like a noble, he'll still hear you out and he will judge it fairly. Like the kings are by and large really good. What if he thinks that you're stupid though? Well, then you're kind of screwed. Ah, right.

Also, this part maybe, yeah, I mean, should I beat me to the punch on this one a little bit? They are crusaders, right? They are crusaders. Gotcha. Yep. So I assume they go on holy wars for the lady of the lake to expand Britonia and kill those that disagree with them and go against their honor? Yeah, they probably do. I mean, I don't have any specific examples for this episode, to be fair, because I didn't really focus a lot on all of their, like, crazy battles. This was more just like a how's it like to live in Brutonia and all that, but I can't imagine they don't go on some absolutely crazy crusades and Holy Wars. And Lady of the Lake says that these people are heathens, so go and attack.

them so I have to believe it happens a lot. Well, Shai said that there's a fantasy version of the Middle East and they had a crusade against it. So I guess once again, we return to the classic, well, it's not that subtle. Yeah, it's just, yeah, fantasy sometimes is a little on the nose, but you know, it happens. I mean, they're all on the nose, but yeah, all right, all right, good to know. Yeah. But essentially the kings will practice what they preach.

chivalry-wise and essentially they are their own sort of checks and balance system because they kind of know that if they were a corrupt king it would kind of destroy Britonia because it would defy tradition defies the codes and once the citizenry are like oh wow even our king doesn't follow the rules fuck it and then it's just full-blown anarchy so by and large king pretty solid person. And if something is to happen to the king and he dies,

as we said, they basically gather up as many grail knights as they can and they all gather and they try to figure out who should be the next king, who's the most worthy. And of course, the fei enchantress has to go along with it. She's probably the most

important vote. She speaks for the lady of the lake. And they crown a new king. Speaking again to how important the word of the Faye Enchantress is, there was a king of Britonia. His name was Belom. And there's no specifics on what he did or how he specifically failed as king. But he fails really, really badly. And he's being an awful king.

And through just the word of the Faye Enchantress, just because she said, hey, he's bad get him off the throne abdicate him shame him dishonor him and banish him just because she said so they're like okay done and he is taken off the throne he's

exiled and he's just thrown out i i get the feeling that the the lady has a lot of power decay yes she does you do not you do not fuck with the fei enchantress you do

do not fuck with the lady of the lake. I can... I get the feeling this may come around sometime. Yeah, you know, you know. That being said, if you were to wonder what sort of religious worship happened in Britonia, it's weird because there's actually kind of a divide because obviously the nobles are all worshipping

the Lady of the Lake. but like the cult of the lady feels like it is primarily reserved for the upper class of Britonia like as a lower class peasant you have to pay a tithe so that the grail chapels can like be up kept

and so that the nobles can worship there and all that stuff but nobles they don't have to tribute but they can so it's it's very weird. So, yeah, it's,

it's, because you would think that like, Lady of the Lake is just, everybody does it. Everybody worships her. But the peasants,

they kind of believe in this thing called, they actually believe in a lot of old world gods. Um, they believe in this thing called the cult of Shalia.

And Shalia is this sort of, uh, old world goddess of mercy. Like, they still, they still, they'll believe in the lady, but they believe that like, man, the lady, the lady picks favorites. Like, she picks grail knights.

She picks nobility. She hangs out with the nobility. And it's like, she's around and she's a presence, but like, I'm not going to worship her. I'm going to worship an actual God. I'm going to worship this old world goddess of mercy. I'm going to worship, like, Ulrich, this old world god of war, right? Sure. So does that give, I'm assuming the lady as much care?

though because they're a bunch of peasants. Yeah, she doesn't really care. They don't care until you try to mix them. If you try and be like, oh, yeah, Shalia and the lady are one in the same but have different faces. Then people start getting mad. Watch yourself. Yeah, that is heretical and you need to shut the hell.

They don't like that. Okay, okay. So you can believe in other stuff, but the lady is the lady. God damn. lady does type thing. Yes, exactly. You do not slander the lady. And while we're on the topic of the peasantry, even without a shitty duke abusing his power,

it kind of sucks to be a peasant in Britonia. Yeah, I believe that. It kind of sucked to be a peasant in a lot of places, honestly, but it seems like it kind of sucked to be a peasant in the empire, too. Yeah, like, Britonia are kind of top tier when it's, comes to oppressing and keeping peasants from really rising up. Like we said before, it has happened. It is almost impossible, but it happens.

And like, you have the normal peasant stuff. You know, they break their backs in the fields to support the nobility and the knights who protect them. I was reading that they have to offer up like 90% of their heart. harvest. They aren't allowed to be educated. So they're like illiterate. They have no chance to rise up. Legally, they are not allowed to leave their estate unless permitted by the government. And because of this, you also get a lot of inbreeding. Oh, less pog.

Yeah, because they're also, again, I'll bring this up later. They are in. encouraged to have a lot of children. Because the more children you have, the more peasants we have, and the more peasants we have, the more work that gets done, the more soldiers we potentially have. And so, especially when they're not allowed to lead their estate, you get inbreeding and all the problems that come with it. Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking, like, especially if they want to keep repopulating and everything, there's going to be some mixtures. Yeah, unfortunately.

They are, yeah. So the peasants are basically not seen as people. They're seen as property for the dukes and the nobles that hold power. They don't really have any rights. The nobles basically obviously view the peasants as inferior, but the peasants also think of the nobles as useless parasites, you know, that are just there to oppress them. And this is again from our research.

In addition, the treatment of peasants is known to be the worst conditions pretty much any and all peasants in the known world have ever faced more than even Kislev. And the nobility fights against these claims and essentially goes, Hey, hey, we don't treat our peasants so bad. Look, that one has a horse. That one over there. They got a house.

It's not so bad. Leave us alone. that okay i mean i always remembered like if i remember my history well enough the the knights were like everything was made for the knights the knights obviously were the nobility and everyone else below was the sort of the knights i don't remember that's exactly correct but it seems to correlate a lot with how britonia seems to be oh yeah oh yeah uh there are also specific laws called the sumptuary laws that basically make it illegal for a peasant to wear certain things because the nobles want it to be very obvious

the divide between peasant and noble. So peasants can't wear plate armor, they can't wield a weapon of chivalry like a sword or a lance. You can't wear gold or silk or brightly colored fabrics or anything like that. You're kind of stuck to, I believe I read it was like, You can wear fur, but it has to be like cat, dog, or, like, rat fur. And this is a completely, like, one-way law. Like, if a Britonia, for some reason, wanted to wear peasant clothes,

sure, go for it. I don't know why he would want to, but he could. But if a peasant wants to wear noble clothes, no way. Okay, interesting. It's just like make sure you differentiate properly. peasants don't get to have that stuff. They don't. They don't get to have jewels.

They don't get to have anything fancy. You're a peasant. Act like it, basically. Hmm. Yeah. And as a peasant, you should always be on your best behavior. Because if you're caught stealing as a peasant, naturally, they just straight up kill you by being hanged. Well, that doesn't, yeah, that doesn't surprise me.

Yeah. And I was reading that if your crime is worse than, like, stealing. not only do they slowly torture and kill you, they slowly torture and kill your whole family. Oh, nice. And then they proceed to cripple any of your known friends too. Wait, what the hell? Wait, wait, actually?

Actually. And obviously, it depends on like the severity of the crime, right? Like if you are just out there, like say you, I don't know, if you're just stealing stuff, they might just like straight up kill you or whatever. But if you're like, if you like stole from a noble or something, or maybe you like killed a noble, they are going to make you hurt. What the heck? It's just, I don't know.

It's just really, really. I don't know. It's just like I didn't expect the friends to also get hurt. Yeah, like anybody that knew. And I guess that's like, I feel like. I feel like that's one of those old-timey ways to keep everyone in check where it's like, oh, hey, you might not have done the crime, but you didn't keep your friend in check. If you hear that your friend's doing anything, you better make sure you stop them,

because we'll get you too kind of thing. So it's like the, well, is it the prisoner's dilemma? Sounds like it. Maybe it's not quite the prisoner's dilemma, but it has that vibe to it all. And I'm like, oh, geez. Yeah, yeah. And like we said before, the peasants are encouraged to make. and have as many children as possible

because aside from just, you know, obviously they need them to farm, they need them to be craftsmen and all that, but also a large portion of the fighting army for Bratonia just a peasant mob.

They just throw peasants at the enemy. So they want you to have more children also because they want as much lowborn cannon. I mean, loyal troops as they can get. Conscripts. Yeah, wow.

The base is the base army for Bretonius, like a bunch of, like, ragged people with swords? Probably more like pitchforks, sides, anything like that, they can get their hands on. I don't think Bretonians would give the peasant swords because they see that as sort of like the chivalric weapon that the peasants aren't supposed to actually have. Wait. Wait, really? Like, pitchforks? I feel like they're running out there with, like, pitchforks and stuff. Maybe they give him, like, some shoddy, like, short sword or something.

So, I just, I mean, I know this isn't exactly correct, but I just looked up the total Warhammer game. And I went to melee infantry and I see peasant mob. And do you know what he is holding? Pitchfork. He's holding a pitchfork. Hell yeah, he is. Hell yeah, he is. There's also three separate peasant bowmen's.

Mm-hmm. The peasants can use the bow. Peasants are allowed to use bows, but the chivalric knights will not because, oh, that's what that cowardly orc used to kill Ghee. I also, yeah, they use bows not crossbow. Also, I see you can run the Faye Enchantress. Mm-hmm. I think she was, I don't know if she was a recent edition, but yes, you can run the Faye Enchantress. That's wild. I didn't, I did not expect her to be one of the people. Also, interesting in-game lore fact. one thing that is established in the old rules for the game is that women are viewed as second-class citizens

and are treated essentially as the worst of the worst. Of course, this is really bad. But Games Workshop and Fantasy Flight address this head-on in the RPG. This is literally written into the rules of the role-playing game in page two of the Knights of the Grail supplement. You may have heard this. I know I, with my limited knowledge of fantasy, even I had seen this line.

But it goes, women in Brutonia are second-class citizens and many careers are only open to them if they pretend to be men. This is not a feature of Britonian society of which the author or Games Workshop approves, but women pretending to be men make

interesting characters in a role-playing game. If the sexism of Brutonia makes you or your players uncomfortable, feel free to ignore it. I've never heard that before. No. I had never heard about that in my entire life, but that's kind of funny. Not the sexism part, but the...

Feel free to ignore it. Yeah, well, I don't know. I mean, like, I actually don't know if there was a better... I mean, I give Games Workshop a lot of crap, but I got to be honest, as far as ways to address it, that's not the worst thing in the world. Yeah, it's never, yeah, it's not the worst way they could have done it. There are a lot worse ways you could, so that's, you know. Yeah, I don't know.

They were just like, hey, listen, this is how it is in this way. world. It blows. You can ignore it if you like. But, uh, eh, you know, that's just how it was. Trust us. We're not interested in that crap either, but yeah, uh, all right, all right. I mean, it's not, you know, it's not my favorite, but whatever. I guess, I guess, I guess that could be, uh, they could have done worse. Yeah. And speaking of going to battle, let's talk about, let's, let's talk a little bit about how Britonia goes to war. Uh, because again, uh, because of their rules of honor and code of chivalry, you won't really find any, like, advanced weaponry in the Britonian army.

You won't see any fancy steam machines. You won't see the helicopters. You won't see the gatling guns, gunpowder. Too many long-range weapons, aside from what the peasants are using, or anything like that. The brunt of their force, their honor-bound knights. They want to run you down on horse in hand-to-hand,

glorious combat. They love their lances and sword above all. They love proving their worth in battle. But they also just love throwing hordes of peasants at their problem, too. Nice. Oh. And, oh, yeah. No, no, no, it's just, it's just, it seems ironic that such a holy, like a, an honor-bound group would be, would be like, all right, get them Joe the farmer.

Get them. Yeah, get them pitchfork farmers. Meanwhile, the grail night is behind them, like absolutely bodying people. Yeah, it is quite the juke. to physician for sure. And apparently in the early editions of Warhammer fantasy, Brutonia did have cannons. And they were kind of just your generically common knowledge fantasy kingdom.

But apparently G.W. retcon all that stuff out to make them more of a sort of Arthurian ripoff. Ah, damn. Yeah. But again. So not to go back to the thing we were just talking about, but it's quite ironic that Bertonean is such a sexist society when they all, are like, I love the lady.

I love the lady. Worship the lady. Yeah, they don't treat women well. Like they try to do like the whole, oh, of course women first. And, you know, of course escort the women. Be respectful to the women. But like, really, they're just like, yeah, yeah, the women basically aren't people. We don't treat them really well.

You can't have a job here. You sort of like, you have to be the sort of stay at home mom. You're not worth anything else. And it's kind of reminds me of the 50s. We're like in the 50s, a lot of men and everything. We're like, oh, yeah. The lovely gals. Oh, look at that.

Oh, she's going to be the death of me. I tell you what, everything. But then like, they overcook the roast and then they get beat. Yeah. It definitely gives off that kind of 50s vibe for sure. Yeah. All right. Anyway.

So, so peasants. Well, Brutonia's most known like for their knights. They love a good cavalry charge on horseback with sword, lance, honorably charging into the battle at the behest of King, country, and the Lady of the Lake. I also see a ton of knights on, like, griffins and stuff.

Oh, yeah, they have griffins, they have Pegasuses, Pegasci. I don't actually know if it's called Pegasai, but, you know, I actually don't either. You have knight-errants who are like the young knights of the noble houses upstarts

who are still trying to prove their worth and oftentimes, because they are trying to prove their worth. They'll recklessly charge stronger foes because of that, because they want to prove themselves. They want to show honor to their house and their family name. Look at me, Lady of the Lake.

I can be a knight. Then you have the Knights of the Realm who are basically knights-errant, who have proved themselves. They're veterans of combat. And then, of course, you have the questing knight. They're a little more rare. We briefly talked

about them earlier. These are the knights that are specifically looking for favor with the Lady of the Lake. Questing knights have been known to literally drop all of their worldly possessions, give up their land, give up their status specifically because, damn it, I'm going on a quest to find the Lady of the Lake. I'm going to be humanity's savior. Of course, of course if I see my country in trouble, I'm rushing in to help and do everything I can.

So that is the questing night. And also the questing knights need to swear like an oath on their sword. That like, oh, I'm going to find the lady. I'm fully dedicated to my path. So a lot of times the questing knight is going to abandon their lance. Because a lot of knights love to use sword and lance. Questing knights will basically only use the sword because, oh, this is the weapon. I have sworn an oath to the lady on.

this will be my weapon. This is how I do it. They still can use a lance, but it has to bear the lady's blessing. So questing knights always use a sword. Most of the time use a sword. I'm assuming also like, questing nights will eventually become a grail knight

should they complete their task? Yes. Should they find the lady and prove their worth, they will be able to drink from the chalice and ascend to a grail knight? Does the Fay enchantress, like, is she not around? You're not allowed to, like, ask her?

So that is another part of the questing nights thing is they, if they find the Faye Enchantress, they can absolutely be like, hey, I'm looking for her. Can you give me advice? Can you point me in the right direction? And I think if the Faye Enchantress thinks that you're worthy of the lady's blessing, she will absolutely help you. Okay. I guess a lot of the time I wasn't, well, I thought the Faye Enchantress was like around. Like I thought she was like out helping stuff because she's like an envoy or is she also secretive and weird. She's also secretive and weird Like she shows up when she's needed But I believe she's also very secretive Very weird Okay, all right I thought because I assumed that the lady was secretive and weird

And the Faye and Tranchetress was like Chilling around and being You know being a part but I guess not Mm-hmm There are also knights that are known as the lost sons These are children of Bretonia Who have shown some degree of magical ability There are also

daughters like this and when this happens the Faye Enchantress will always pay these children a visit and take them away to serve the lady of the lake. If you are a female that is taken away

by the Faye Enchantress because you have magical abilities, you will usually return as a grailed damsel who now has the ability to wield sorcery and sort of support and healing magic to aid their fellow man in battle.

The sons, however, the lost sons never return home, and they stay by the Lady of the Lakeside as her silver-armored warriors who she will only send to the aid of Britonia in their most desperate time of need. Okay. Also, there is a sort of type of spin-off night of the Grail Knight. Grail knights are sworn to protect the shrines of the cult of the lady And some grail knights are just like, you know what? This spot right here, this is the one I choose to protect.

I am going to stay here and protect it with my life. These are known as hermit knights. And our editor has said for the 40K comparison, their unwavering power of protection is like the custodies. Okay. And to sort of round things out on our basic trip to Britonia, we kind of have to talk about the Green Knight. The Green Knight is sort of this mystical being

that is more or less the champion of the Lady of the Lake and protector of Britonia. The beastmen call him Shabakh, which translates to soul killer, implying that his existence is ancient, and tied to the lands. Legend has it that green mist swirls and swirls and sort of forms into this knightly figure until the green knight appears

with his massive green glowing Dolores blade and he's got this really cool big shadow steed that's just like it's a black steed with all this green armor. It's got like green fumes coming out of it. And the green knight can appear anywhere that is sacred or related to the lady. So, like, if you decide that you are going to defile a sacred sight of the lady and you're going to do something bad there, boom, he is right behind you.

He is there and he is ready to cut your ass down. Ah, so he's like a spectral protector of sorts. Exactly. He's the, he's again, he's the one that saved Carl Franz when he was about to die and shepherded him to the king of Brutonia. Right, right, right, right. Okay. Mm-hmm.

I just look up a picture of him as well. He looks baller as hell. Oh, he's so cool. He's so cool. He's super cool looking. I like all the banners and stuff. It's very neat. Yep.

There are also wild tales that you simply cannot hurt the green knight. Some tales said that their weapons just go fump right through them as if you were trying to cut the mist itself. I read other, there were other stories that were like, Oh, yeah, his head was cut clean off his shoulders,

but the Green Knight just picked up his head and just rode off like nothing happened. Apparently in the codex, it stated that the famous line he yells when he appears is, none shall pass. So you got yourself, little Monty Python, Lord of the Rings deal. Oh, yeah, yeah, okay, typical. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

and if you are a questing knight, then you will assuredly guaranteed have a run-in with the green knight because combat with him is one of the final tests that you have to undertake in order to become a grail knight worthy to drink from the grail. Oh, he's your last, whatever it's called, the finding thing. In Lord, the Green Knight is referred to as the tradition. nemesis of the questing knights.

Traditional nemesis of the questing nights. All right. And we 100% do know the identity of the green knight, but that's an end times conversation. I think I know who it is. Who do you think it is? I think it's ghee. Because he died.

He was him and then he just like died. Ah, so you're going with the idea that the, uh, the uniter, the unifier, the one that found the lady, is now... The first dudes, and then he's the one who helps the lady out the whole time. That makes sense. I bet's geek. He's too important to just be, like, tossed aside for some other random king or two. I mean, that, hey, that's a fair guess.

And I will not tell you whether you are right or wrong until we hit the end times episode. Yeah, that's fine. I get it. Yeah. But that's our sort of like basic intro to Britonia, how it was founded, some of the units they use, kind of what their feudal system is like, how much it sucks to be a peasant and all that. So happy day, happy day. It's fantasy. Hey, at least we didn't hit an hour and a half.

No, we didn't hit an hour and a half. But, I mean, it's, I say this every episode. I says every fantasy episode. it's what I expected them to be. Yeah, yeah, they, they are the, are Thurian legends. Yeah, through and through. Yep, they got the, the Holy Grail.

They, they've got the Knights of the Roundtable. It is, it is full on exactly what I expected it to be, honest, honest to God. Yeah. Where would you put them on, like, how much did you enjoy them as a faction? Like, because you, You said you really, really liked the Tomb Kings. Where would you put Brutonia on like a scale? I'll be perfectly honest.

Pretty low. They're not quite my favorites. I mean, people like Knights of the Roundtable. I'm not a Knights of the Roundtable. I mean, the Grail Knights look baller as shit and so do the Green Knight. There's a Green Knight. And like, the whole lady, the lake thing is neat. But as far as like, yeah, I've heard this one.

before. This one's pretty up there, you know? Yep, yep. I'm kind of the same way. I'm like, you know, I like knights. I like the chivalry tales. I, I dig it. So for me, they're kind of like a little in the middle because I'm like, oh man, medieval times, the green knight. Woohoo. Oh, man, my childhood. But they ain't coming close to like the Skaven or the tomb kings or stuff like that, right? Yeah, it's kind of like when when I see someone who's like really into history and they play guard, I'm like, yeah, I get that. It's like, and you talk to them like, yeah, I like World War II.

I like guard. I'm like that, that completely tracks. Like, I get it. Whereas opposed, like, with this one, it's like, I like knights. I like Brutonium. Like, that's totally fair. Like, I get it. Here's a gigantic castle.

Like, totally makes sense. No complaints there. So far, I like the, I think my personal favorites have been probably the, um, I think my personal favorites have been probably the Tomb Kings and uh, I do like the empire, I won't lie. I do like the empire. Okay. Okay. Okay. Kisslev is pretty fun too.

I also will say. Agree. Chaos Vikings are also really, really cool. Um, chaos Vikings are really cool, but I don't know. I like, uh, I do like the empire because they're a bit more mechanized. They're like, they got like cannons and stuff. Yeah, they're,

they're Britonia, but advanced. Yeah, yeah. That's fun. And not terrible. No, but I shouldn't say Brutonius the Empire. Some fantasy person out there is going to absolutely skewer me for saying that. I just, I like the Tomb Kings a lot because I'm also like a massive Necron nerd. And just the idea of all of like the Nagash and a army of skeletons is just cool, man. It's just really cool.

It is. And they just have a funny story of like never being able to get along. Even after being like raised from the dead, the kings wake up next to each other. like, what do you mean? You're the ruler. I was the last... You were the last... No, I was the last...

To war! I forget, are Tomb Kings and Sigmar? Um... Oh, man, I... Because, like, Fantasy and Age of Sigma are completely different, right? Age of Sigma is like the weird retcon sort of version of fantasy because end times happened, and they needed to reboot it, right? Right.

no Britonia either. Oh, it's the Osearch Bone Reapers. That's the one that kind of sounds like that. And then they have the soul blight gravelords and well, no, no, Solblight Gravelords are different, right? Those are the, the, vampire people, I think.

Yeah, like the, yeah, sure. Yeah, I was about saying, but Nagash is in Sigma, I know that. Oh, you got to bring Nagash in. You can't just leave, such is the power of Nagash. Such is. Nagash is so powerful. He just kind of re-entered. Sigma.

Yep, he's ever. It wouldn't surprise me if we saw Nagash show up in 40K somewhere. That would be funny as hell. Just possessing a Necron lord or something.

No, there's going to be, no, there's going to be the thing they do with necrons where they put like a KH in it. And it's like, oh, no,

that's not a gash. That's Nikah. Yeah. D. That's kosh, obviously, yeah. Sure, I'll take a funny

I'll take a funny age of Sigma fact while I'm here. Hell yeah. Give me that funny fact. But yeah, but Tony is fine. I mean, I'm not the biggest

It's just knights guy. And so it's maybe not my number one thing, but it's fine. It's fine. It's knights. They've got an audience for it. There are a lot of people that love their knights, love their cavalry charge, love their horses, love their peasant oppression. Wait, what?

Love their oppression. Yeah, right. They love keeping the peasants down and everything. No big deal, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. although I think also they like thought the um I think it was said I think the the the researcher who put in work on this by the way they added so much really good context to like brittonia stuff whew but they were like oh yeah the peasants are essentially seen as like an unruly mob just that you can't really control and the nobles are just like well screw it I am just going to sit in my high tower and not bother with it and so every chance I get to oppress the the unruly mob I am taking because it's fun. Yeah, because it's fun and you unruly mobs don't appreciate what you have.

There is a faction in Age of Sigmar called flesh-eater courts. They are horrible undead ghouls, but they don't see it like this from their own POV, from their POV, their noble knights fighting horrible monsters. Oh, my God. Well, maybe that's why I thought it was vampires in the beginning, because maybe I was thinking about them. That sounds like what you were thinking That sounds exactly like what you thought was happening

Oh so it's theorized The Britonian Souls went to World Asia Sigma And got reborn like that They got reborn as the flesh eater courts I'm kind of cool with that That sounds so dope That sounds like such a crazy twist I think the Britonian fans would not be cool at that

But I don't know You're probably right Yeah the fans of like noble knights riding in with the lady of the lake and and oh, I'll ride in shiverick with sword and spear. You don't think they would like being turned into flesh-eating undead ghouls? Nope.

You're probably right. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. All right.

I guess that's it for today. I hope everybody enjoyed Patreon.com slash adeptus relicus if you want to support us and parting words, Bricky. I know, not many parting words. Hey, they're knights. If you like knights, you'll like knights. I got some cool stuff. I like the lady of the lake. I don't trust her.

I don't trust her one bit. But that's because I don't trust anyone in this universe. So, hey, you know, it is what it is. Britonia, knights. CTA, brother, DTA. A lot of, a lot less French than I thought that would be, honestly. But I think you skimmed over it a bit so that you wouldn't mispronounce everything. Yeah, a lot of.

oh, this king, current king, this guy. Yeah, maybe a little bit. Instead of like, le guineau or something. Leon le corine. Yeah, kind of stuff. I like, I tried to spell ghee and I realize it's like Gil. It's like G-I-L-E. G-I-L-E-S.

And that's G-I-L-L-E-S. I guess? I was like, is it G-I, like, because G-I, or is it like, or is it like, Gil? I was like, is it Giles Gilles? I didn't know. Wait, so we could be have been pronouncing Guy incorrectly this entire episode?

I want, I don't want to talk about it. That's so funny. Let's listen. Let's end on that one. Let's end on that one. We're out of here. That's so good. All right.

Goodbye. Fuck.