Adeptus Ridiculous - CIAPHAS CAIN - HERO OF THE IMPERIUM | Warhammer 40k Lore

Episode Date: June 10, 2026

https://www.patreon.com/AdeptusRidiculoushttps://www.adeptusridiculous.com/https://twitter.com/AdRidiculoushttps://shop.orchideight.com/collections/adeptus-ridiculousCiaphas Cain was an Imperial Commissar. He was in active service in the last century of M41, and was over 200 years old when he was recalled into service during the 13th Black Crusade of Abaddon the Despoiler, and it is certain that he survived more than a quarter of a century into M42. Propaganda made him out to be the hero of the Imperium circa late M41 although in truth he was mainly focused on surviving. (However, he differed from many other Imperial commissars in that he would not readily sacrifice soldiers unless it ensured his own survival.) Cain tried his utmost to avoid engaging in actual combat, but had to anyway to maintain his status as a Hero of the Imperium, which ironically involved him in more dangerous situations than any he would usually see as a commissar. He was responsible for many successful campaigns throughout his career and retired to become a professor at a Schola Progenium.In M42 the Cain Archive was published among the ranks of the Inquisition. They are sequestered by order of the Holy Ordos, and are kept and organised as the Cain Archive by Ordo Xenos Inquisitor Amberley Vail with whom Cain had many encounters over his career, and shared a close working and personal relationship. It is worth noting, as Inquisitor Vail does in footnotes throughout his memoirs, that Cain was a skilled liar and dissembler, and therefore anything to which he refers that is not independently documented could well be a fabrication to maintain his reputation.Support the show

Welcome everyone to another episode of the Adeptist Ridiculous podcast. My name is D.K. Diamantis. I don't really have a funny intro thing today. So the other two are going to introduce themselves now. Wow. What a handoff. That's terrible. This show sucks.

What? What do I got? I got to be funny every damn time. I got to come up with you thing every time. It's your job. Well, you're all laughing. now, so apparently it was funny enough. Jesus.

I mean, I, I'm Karioth and I read out loud. That's pretty much, that's my job. Bricky, what do you do? We're two for two today, brother. I pretend that D.K. is the problem when I am currently sitting in a glass house. That's what I'm doing today. Yeah, three for three. We did it. We hit the intro of all intros.

Let's go, baby. Hell yeah. What a time. Oh, boy. One miss out of countless episodes isn't bad. Yeah, that's not. That is true. There's been some interesting news and things as of lately.

There's the small news like Total War Warhammer getting a little beta thing coming up sometime soon. You know, 11th edition That comes out on June 20th, which is my birthday That it comes out literally directly on it This is going to be my addition I'm going to finally win a tournament Just you wait Happy birthday

It's finally time Sisters of Battle are going to get stealth nerfed On your birthday Your favorite faction ruined Nothing stealthy about it They're going to be loudly nerfed Oh no I see So you're ready

Okay, got it. Honestly, though, the one thing that I did want to bring up, because we didn't have the opportunity to last time, we, we film Adrick on Mondays and release it on Wednesdays. And so the news about the passing of John Blanche came out on Wednesday, which was the episode that aired, but obviously we didn't speak about it because of that.

But, man, that sucks. It really does. Like, that's like the, I mean, for, for me, Anyway, it's like, that's like the iconic art. I guess for a lot of people, but like I remember looking up like the, the, the emperor chair art and like all the really dope space art and stuff. And it's like, oh, man, that sucks. Yeah. I, it's, I feel like it is actually impossible to understate just how much of an influence he had over the direction of not just, it's not just 40K either.

Like, some of the stuff that he did for the, uh, for the different AOS factions, it's still, it's still just incredibly John Blanche artwork, but for a setting that is a bit more, could be a bit more wacky and a bit silly at times, but he still was like keeping that,

that influence there. And so much of the stuff that pretty much anyone who sort of falls into Warhammer in any capacity ends up seeing is, is, like his work. And yeah, It feels like something significant or someone significant has gone away. Even though he hasn't worked sort of for Games Workshop for a little bit now,

he just had that much of an influence that's, yeah. I mean, the thing is, it is it is timeless enough and recognizable enough that I think the art itself is just going to stick around forever. Oh, yeah, it's timeless. I mean, it's foundational. Like, even though he himself, hasn't done a ton of Warhammer, like, are in the recent, it is a load-bearing pillar of the entire, of the entire, like, um, uh, universe.

Um, and like, even though he, he himself has been retired for a bit, like, he, the entirety of like the design philosophy, like the style guides almost to an extent, like, even though Warhammer has undergone large changes in its general design, like going from more like hair metal and then like currently where we're at, which is like industrial, um, grimy

kind of version. It is, uh, I mean, it is load bearing. There, there really is no Warhammer universe without his work. Agreed. You don't have like the iconic Warhammer style and feel without his art.

100%. Anyway, all that aside. John Blanche, the goat, absolutely a foundation of the entire, the entire universe, very, very sad passing. But also, he was, he was, he was, he was older guy. And that's better, you know, better that way than younger. So he left a lasting impression. Not a lot of people to leave that sort of impression. And, you know, if you look up literally anything Warhammer, you will find his art. Yeah, it's, it's incredible.

Anyway, episode time, shall we? Let's do it. Let's do it. DK., after you. Oh, yes. If you enjoy today's episode, and maybe you want to support us, heading over to the Patreon. Patreon.com slash Adeptus Ridiculous,

where you can get access to the Discord, blooms if they happen, $15 tier gets you access to all of our posters in just the crispiest, most immaculate form you could imagine. Patreon.com slash adeptus Ridiculous. Bricky, how's the merch? It is coming along. actually received a lot of the things that we were missing due to, again, situations across the world. And I think a lot of people are going to get a lot of shipping emails soon because I think we got out like 600 technical difficulty shirts last week.

So it's finally all there. A ton of acceptable losses stuff is going out. I think we're finally, it was such a nightmare. there. Um, so, uh, thank you, everyone for, for being patient, um, uh, to those we, to those of you, you know, sending emails asking and stuff. Hopefully we got it solved soon. And, uh, yeah, yeah, it's very ironic. We were having issues with the technical difficulty shirts, but yeah, a lot of, a lot of stuff we were waiting on got held up for a lot shirt too good, dude, the technical issue shirt.

It was too real. It was too real. It was too real. More like logistical issues, but, um, yeah. And you double down and do a logistics issues t-shirt as well. Is that too much? And it's like, it's like a map of the shipping lanes. Uh, coming across us.

You know plenty of people. The bottom next straight. Yeah. I'm writing it down. That's an idea. You have to laugh at yourself. It's important. Now, you got to do it the other way.

around. You have no logistical issues found, so it's kind of like a reverse curse. Oh, that's an idea. Anyway, that's going on. Also, we need to read the second Carcaryodon's book. Yeah, we do. Remember when we lied to our audience and so about the first week of June? Remember when we lied to them? I only have like, to their face.

I only have like two hours left in the book, so I am, I am moving right along with that thing. I have longer than that. I'm not going to lie. But it's on the list. I'm going to do it. I am doing it. It's happening. It's just not in the first week.

I have thoughts about it. Impossible now. No kidding. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

Yeah. Well, technically you're the only one who said it. So you're the only liar. I never, I never said it. Carry out there. Wow. This is, you're an accomplice. You're, uh, no, this is all Briggie's idea, everyone.

Man, I guess we'll just have to put all the blame on. Yeah. Well, speaking of killing Bricky, Keriath, what do you got for today? I've got a quote. I've got a quote and it's probably an easy one. So you'd be fine. Don't worry.

I say this every time and half the time. It's not true. Those exact words are my most feared words ever. Because whenever it's like, oh, it's a quote, it's easy. You should get it. I'm like, oh, no, oh no, no. anxiety, I should get it. If I don't know it, oh no, oh no, oh no, I'm so stupid. But go ahead. You know what? No pressure on this one. None. Literally none. Just fine. Don't, don't preface it like

that, please. The emperor protects, Juergen said piously. Well, he hadn't done a hell of a lot for the bus passengers, I thought, but decided it wouldn't be tactful to say so. He'd only take it as a sign that we were important to his ineffable plan anyway. So it was, Yergen said is a very strong part of that. Yeah, I literally didn't hear the rest of the quote. Once you said Yergan said, I was like, ah, I see. We're in, we're in, um, Caiaphas, Kayfus Caneland?

Oh, no, did I get the right commissar? I did, right? No, no, no, you got the right commissar. Okay, good, Jesus. For a second, I was like, oh, shit, did I get the wrong? Is he, okay, good, good, good, good. I don't know why for a second I was like Juergen wasn't in Gond's ghost

was he? No, he certainly wasn't that's kind of skein. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That could be an interesting crossover though. Let's be honest. It could be a whole thing that. God's ghost is being like, he smells like shit. Oh, Shai was really rooting for you

on that one to mess it up. Sorry, Shai. My ignorance has let you down. So, yeah, if you casually look up Caius Cain, you will find two very common names that come up as an explanation as to who he is. Harry Flashman and Blackadder. Harry Flashman was a character originally written in 1857 as an illustrious Victorian soldier who was magnificent in just about everything. He had an incredible career full of incredible victories, he slept with some of the most beautiful women in the world, and his reputation precedes him. The texts he first appeared in were purported to be his notes that he left behind after he died, and they not only showcases victories, but also his brutal honesty.

He was a liar, a cheat, and someone who would run away at the first sign of trouble, and somehow come out on top. His characterisation would result in the creation of Terry Pratchett's character Rincewind, and the trope of the hero who is also a coward, was born. Blackadder, on the other hand, is a bit different. It was an anthology series starring Rowan Atkinson, Mr. Bean, for those keeping score at home, as various versions of a man named Edmund Blackadder, ranging from the Middle Ages to World War I. He was a man of great prestige and high intellect who would do anything in his power to assure he could avoid as much conflict as possible,

while still retaining a degree of influence. He'd do this in each series alongside his dim-witted and smelly servant, Baldrick, who was wholly reliable and would do anything without question while also somehow making things difficult for Blackadder. And in many cases, resulting in him achieving something he actively tried. tried to avoid. Both of these characters give you a very solid foundation for what Caiaphas-Cain is. Yeah, it sure does. Caius Cain is someone that at face value is very easy to explain. He's an imperial commissar, a good one at that, as he is regarded as an imperial hero through copious amounts

of propaganda. He's written a public book about his life title to serve the emperor, the Commissar's life, and he may or may not be dead. He's writing his memoirs in M-42, and we know that he was holding a world during the 13th Black Crusade with just his students, so there's a chance that he is still standing strong. In fact, he's listed as being alive and active at all times, regardless of any evidence to the contrary. This is, despite the fact that there was a memorial service for him where he was buried with honours, making him the only person in the Imperium to remain on active duty, even after a memorial service in their name. Is that true?

Would a dreadnought be considered that? I was going to say, even in death, he still serves, eh? Would you argue that there is a memorial service for interning someone in a dreadnought? Oh. Oh, we're getting into technicalities here. I am very, I'm pushing my glasses so far up. They're on my forehead. You know, have we ever read a book or, like, done something here where we talked about, like, the internment ceremony of a dreadnought?

Not that it has anything really to do with this episode. I just don't think that ever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. No, I'm sure we'll do it at that point. You mentioned it and I was like, God, I don't think I've ever. Actually, that would be a pretty cool episode, the how a dreadnought is formed. Yeah, that would be a dope episode.

That's true. We should do that. On the list. Yep, right it down, Shai. Also, Shai says space marines are not humans. Don't count. So, that's fair, actually, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Anymore. They ever held a service for Celestein, and then she, like, punches her fist out of the coffin, and the woman flies away. Kane also has that's new mini, which is awesome. But having a mini is never a true indicator on, whether or not someone is alive. Below the surface, though, is the actual career of Caiaphas-Cain, and there's quite a bit of contention about how true it actually is. This is due to the fact that

it's written by himself, and even the closest of his friends will all agree that Kane, despite being a charming man, was far from honest. And though there's a very public memoir of his life, it's very clear to those around him, and even to himself, that this was a highly edited and highly propagandized portrayal of his experiences, which brings us to The Cain Archive. And I've got just a little quote for you here, D.K. Oh. We should also bear in mind that, by his own admission, the man was a pathological liar given to saying anything he judged would be effective in manipulating listeners.

Ooh. He's got a job to do, and he does it. I do enjoy that he says he's a pathological liar, but like it's a different kind of pathological liar. It's not like a narcissistic version. It's a imposter syndrome version. I was going to say, can you trust the pathological liar about them being a pathological liar? Oh, no. We're getting into circular philosophy.

We see the paradox, ladies and gentlemen. Ah, yes. Tomorrow, let's talk about moral relativism. What an ad-rick episode, that'll be, eh? It'll be short. None of us are educated, the end. So during Kane's retirement and his stint as a tutor in the Scholar Progenium, he started to jot down memories and experiences from his career.

These notes were meant to be more of a raw way for him to remember what happened back in the day, and it shows. There's no real rhyme or reason to the stories he jotted down. Many of them randomly start in the middle, and they seem to be a little bit exaggerated. But the real issue with the notes comes in the form of the bluntness he has while describing himself in them. He has absolutely no trouble admitting that he is a self-serving liar that spent most of his career actively trying to avoid any and all conflict. It also explicitly states various times where he was friendly with Zenos and had direct one-on-one interactions with various iterations of chaos, which he describes in great detail.

This friendliness isn't just something he does on the casual either. His experiences and stories heavily showcase how the Imperium actually will negotiate from time to time, and the honesty when it comes to things like diplomatic resolutions and cordial conversations really play down some of the more aggressive propaganda-focused aspects of the Imperium. His notes directly contradicted the wider image of who Kane actually was, and the Kane archive needed to be kept under locking key and was placed under an inquisitorial jurisdiction by the person editing it.

Ordo Xenos Inquisitor Amberley Vale, a close confidant of Kane as well as one of his lovers. Isn't the word confidant? I think you might be right. I don't think I've said that word out loud before. But that sounds more correct than what I said. I mean, maybe. But Amberly Vale, I also like how it's Ordo Zinos Inquisitor

who Cain has speaking to large amounts of Ordo Zinos with and lover. Yeah, there is no... There is no official art of Amberly Vale at all, actually, yeah. Most of the time when you look up Amberly Vale, you get this image of her, which is the one with the skin tight suit and the cool jacket and the blonde hair. Yeah, not bad. I mean, that's the normal one that you tend to see

and a lot of fan art is centered around that, that version of the art. But yeah, but that's not even official. No, that's not official. Huh. Still looks phenomenal. It's good.

It looks like it would be a Warhammer art, honestly. But, uh, no, not official. That seems weird for a character with that sort of, uh, like just overall impact to just,

just, we don't have any pictures of this. Sorry. And we're not coming. any. No. It's right. The community's got it covered.

Have you seen this picture? We don't need to do anything. So Vail coined the term Kane Archive to describe these various notes that were left behind by Kane that she had been actively editing and providing her own notes to. By her own admission, she believes that Kane was well aware that this stuff couldn't possibly be published to the wider Imperium due to the nature of its content. But she thinks the notes are worthy of study by Inquisitors to get a feel for what kind of

person, a hero such as Kane, is actually like. In fact, she believes that his flaws are what made him such an effective commissar. She thinks it's important to point out that Kane was his own harshest critic, and he would actively go out of his way to deny that his actions were for altruism. She believes that if, as it's asserted, courage consists of the overcoming of fear, then Kane truly deserves his reputation, even if he denies it. The Kane archive, though mostly his own words, does come with a series of notable edits. Of course, there's plenty of annotations that Vail makes throughout and some breaking up of paragraphs and sentences

to allow for easier reading, but there's still things that even she removed. Particularly the scenes in which Kane apparently went into great details about him and Vail's intimate moments, which she thinks is one of those, yeah, my co-workers don't need to see that things, so she just cuts them out entirely. I mean, that's fair.

Justified, honestly. Definitely, yeah. You don't need the sex scenes in the documentary, yeah. Outside of other things being cut out here and there, the text mostly speaks for itself, even if Ambley notes quite frequently that the event being described never actually happened. In fact, there are instances where she does include text that sort of supports something that Kane says, be it a report from another officer or a witness. So, when it comes to going over Caius Kane, you have to really play your own little investigative game.

You're reading the words of a self-proclaimed untrustworthy narrator, and these words were subsequently edited by a goddamn inquisitor. So it's up to you in how you interpret the fascinating life and times of Caiaphas Kane and his retinue of colourful characters. So today we're going to talk about the hero of the Imperium itself. And Possum is being extremely forthright here. We're laying it out. We cannot possibly cover each and every one of his adventures in this one episode. There's 11 novels, 10 short stories, two audio dramas, and a novella. That's not humanly possible unless we record for the next 48 to 72 hours,

and Possum knows their limits. So some things are not going to be mentioned in this episode, which means there's plenty more opportunities for further cane stuff in the future. The stuff that we are going to go over covers a bunch of fun things that happened at each point in his career, we are going to be admitting some of the bigger ones in favour of bringing you some stories and escapades you may not have heard of. And if you want other people to find what the best cane stories are in your opinion, there's a comment section down there. So share the thing that you think is the best. So as going over each and every instance where something might be contradictory or a lie will be exhausting,

Parson is going to give us an example out of the gate so we can really get a grasp on what's being discussed. We truly know very little about Kane's actual childhood and upbringing, and the most insight we get on this is in one of the earlier notes that Vale leaves. Kane makes mention of spending much of his early life on a hive world, but he never says the name of it or where it is. Due to the sheer volume of high worlds, it's virtually impossible to verify which one he may be talking about. The other issue is that he states that his childhood hive world raised a mixed guard regiment, but when it comes to the time frame, no hive world that she was aware of did such a thing. He mentions how his admission into the scholar progenium was a result of crout killing his guardsmen parents and that it was true destiny. But there's another problem here. Generally speaking, one only gets into the scholar if they are the offspring of

someone with high esteem. His parents were allegedly common troopers that served together after being criminals prior to their service to the emperor. So everything here just doesn't add up much other than it being a triumphant rags to rich's story to get some degree of moral high ground that also presents extreme heroism as a means of self-motivation. I like the idea that this is specifically utilized as imperial propaganda to be like, no, don't worry, even look at this man. He's the hero of the Imperium and he had his parents' word, nobody's, and filth, and you come from good things, even if you're filth.

Yeah, that is... come an absolutely legendary figure no matter where you come from. Honest. Seriously, no, no, honest, it's true. I said, no, he totally wasn't a Nepo baby. Trust us. He was a great man came from honest, humble beginnings, and rose to be the hero of the Imperium.

You can too, enlist today. And Nepo babies would never be upset when they're referred to as Nepo babies. No, no. course not. It's true. They're all wonderfully self-aware. We know this. Countless examples. Does the only real self-aware one is Jack Quaid? Is that the one that we, is that the one that's properly like, yes.

My parents are famous. I feel like that's the only example I know of, of all of them. I don't know. I don't give a shit, go, my God of War Cube. You said Jack Quaid in my mind was like, total recall and it's like not that quaid, buddy. Sorry. That is quite, oh, my mind was all that guy from Red Letter Media. He gets everywhere. Miles, Red Letter Media, the afterlife, all over the place. God damn, Quay, Jesus.

We know that during Kane's time in the scholar, he was a less than average student. Not really good grades and a pretty substantial disciplinary record. However, he was great at sports and was brilliant when it came to combat training. His fencing tutor was Miyamoto de Bergerac. What a name. And the training he received under him made him a remarkable swordsman. So much so that even Ambley Vale can personally attest to his prowess and said that he was one of the finest swordsman that she'd ever met. There are numerous instances where Kane will imagine what Bergerac would say if he saw him handling a chainsword poorly.

Now, there's a quick note here before we continue. But the name Miyamoto de Bergerac is a great time to mention the most common thing in the cane books and stories, which is pop culture references. The name of this tutor is a combination of two different names. Miyamoto Masashi, the author of the Book of The Five Rings, which is all about samurai swordsmanship, and Serano de Bergerac, the dualist hero of the Edmund Rosten play aptly titled Serrano de Bergerac. We could have an entire meta episode dedicated to the sheer volume of in-jokes and references. throughout this long-standing series, but we don't have time for that

as well as all the other stuff that we're going to be talking about today. So if you spot them, let us know. I was literally going to ask you if the Miyamoto part was like, is that like a Musashi reference? I'm glad you, I'm glad you gave that to us. There's a lot of, there's a lot of that stuff.

We are going to then begin at the start of Kane's illustrious career. So his Commissar career started with the Valhallaun 12th Field Artillery Regiment and it begins on the mining world of Desolathia 4 in about 919 M41. He meets Gunner Fereng Juergen here but more importantly he feels a bit safe here. This place is kind of far away from any of the bigger battles out there and sure there's some residual orc stuff going on but it's not so bad because he doesn't have to deal with it directly.

The planetary defences are pretty solid and, uh, it's a nice place to be. Colonel Mostru, on the other hand, is a bit more suspicious of Cain, but Cain really hams it up to lower the colonel's guard. Plus, it should be a breeze because in just a short amount of time, the Cephaeat Task Force fleet is supposed to show up and take Cain away from this place. It's all fun in games until, you know, Kane gets a hunch, a gut feeling that the tyranids are about to show up. Sure enough, the tyrantids show up and start raining hell on the surface below. They're holding the line fairly well, but the forces of the tyrannids get more and more aggressive. Eventually, after the arrival of gargoyles, Kane comes up with a very bold strategy

in the face of such adversity. He commandeers a scout salamander and august yurgan to get them the fuck out of there. And they do. Nice. Just so you know, D.K., a scout salamander in this situation is actually a guard vehicle. It is not the salamander war, the space marines. Oh, okay. I mean, I guess that should have made sense, but honestly, that picture shy posted is kind of exactly what I imagined. Yeah, it's the open top job. Yeah.

I don't know if they make them anymore. I hope they do. They're cool as hell. Also, Kane just sort of like, well, boy, sure does feel like Tyrannids are on their way and was right? That happened. That's wild. More than once. Gotcha.

All right. Kane gets very, very good gut feeling. sure sure will we call them gut feelings or are they more like intelligent thought of like this situation I'm in is bad I think probably a solid

mix of the two like he does kind of have a bit of a thing of like something something is going to go wrong here and then frequently it it does which then again he is a hero of the Imperium so maybe he's being fed information by the big man himself.

Well, either that or he realizes how bad his luck is sometimes and how trouble seems to follow him. Even if he does oops his way out of it, like shit, some bad's going to happen because it always happens. Yeah. I'm here, therefore this planet is probably doomed. I should leave before that happens. Yeah.

The fleeing from battle is going well enough until he inadvertently runs into the main force of tyrannids. Him and Juergen once again try to flee, but this time to the artillery fire base. As luck would have it, their salamander then breaks down. Now sprinting across the chaotic scene, Yergan trips and falls, and Kane keeps moving. After encountering a hive tyrant,

Kane is in a bit of a pickle, and he opts to turn back to save Juergen. Now, it should be noted that Kane had called artillery on his own position at this point, and his back and forth running around while the hydro platforms were being manoeuvred resulted in a huge swath of the swarm being drawn to his position.

The bombardment from the platforms caused the death of the tyrant, which also stopped the connection to the hive mind, severing it. Somehow, saving the entire day, Kane opts to spin his fleeing and leaving Juergen behind as a recon sweep that was strategic in nature,

and begrudgingly, he is hailed as a hero by everyone on the surface, including the colonel, who has to come to terms with the value that Kane has. Seeing that all heroes need a sidekick, Colonel Monstru assigns Juergen as the permanent aid of Kane, and Kane is forced to accept the Smelly yet loyal guardsman,

permanently intertwining them in a career-defining partnership. Smelly, is always kind of humorous to me because, like, I mean, I know we're going to get to you're good as a blank part at some point, but it's the assumption that like not only is that a problem, but Yergan actually does smell like shit. Because he's a Valhollen, right? And he's just, he's just gross. It'd be great if he was like, yeah, I'm a blank,

but also I just don't bathe, guys. Like, it's twofold. It wastes time. Why bother? I'm a blank anyway. Nobody likes being around me. Why waste time bathing? I just do it to annoy other planks if I have to come across.

Now is a good time to go over Jogen a bit. Jogan was, as we said, a trooper for the Valhallaan Ice Warriors, and as said above, he's a bit of a sloppy dude. Outside of a notable rank body odour, he also lacked basic social skills and was a bit difficult to be around. Part of this, however, had to do with something entirely out of his control. He was a blank. So the combination of his blank aura and imposing body odor, which came, to be fair, got used to quite quickly, assured that nobody would go up to Kane unless it was for something of genuine importance. Also, for the record, Kane finds out about the blank aspect of Jogen a bit later on after they've shared many an adventure.

So there's a few instances where Jogan's blankness has greatly assisted Kane without him actually knowing what was going on. Despite the... Yeah. Well, I was just going to say, in the first book that we read, by the end of it, Kane still doesn't know. Yeah, it's just, oh, this has worked out. Why? Just that whole thing and not knowing, not knowing something that is significant, but also raised the question, blanks affect everybody. Was Kane just putting it all down to the body odor until he found out? That's a good point. I mean, isn't there also the whole thing where like Kane is actually kind of a baller sometimes, like genuinely?

Oh yeah. And maybe he can just kind of handle that a little bit better because he, was sent to commissar training. And being a commissar makes you pretty mentally tough. Yeah. Oh, he's got, he's, he's, he's definitely got like the willpower aspect of it down.

He's not, he's not like, for all the talk of being a coward. He does have quite, quite the strong will, really. So, just toughing it out without realizing what he was toughing out.

It could be. He is genuinely just a good commasar too. Oh, so Blank's, have a scaling ratio, if I'm unmistaken. Like certain blanks are stronger than other blanks. Like Janisha Kroll was crazy. Maybe Yergan is just like a little bit. Yeah, it's not, it doesn't like hit as hard.

So it's not as noticeable for someone who's already, already got some mental fortitude on the go. Maybe he didn't want to tell anyone Yergan was a blank because he wanted to keep him around for his usefulness. And if everyone knew there was a good chance the Inquisition would take him away. Oh, that's a... Not a bad theory either, to be honest. Possible.

Yeah, as a commissar, he would know what would happen to a blank as soon it was found out that they were indeed a blank. Also, damn, that melty gun is helpful. So despite seeing the seeming negative aspects of him, Juergen's fiercely loyalty and his strange ability to get anything that Kane asked for made him the most important person in Kane's life. Another thing of note was his arsenal, which almost exclusively consisted of, melter weapons. This allowed him to essentially make passageways with ease. He was also a remarkable driver, of course he was a bit erratic, but he never intentionally crashed an armored vehicle. If he had any weakness, it would be flying. Even the thought of him being in a plane would make

him vomit. Kind of rough regarsmen to not like being in the air, but you know what? We've all got our weaknesses, haven't we? Anyway, let's get back to Kane. So the Kefeyer fleet arrives and takes him and his men to the agri-world of the same name, which of all the worlds he'd visited over his career, was one of the most pleasant in his eyes. There's a slow war against a gene-stealer cult here, but Kane is able to relax a bit. He's got a rear area posting, and he gets little tasks here and there. Notably, the planetary defense forces referred to as the custodies. Not that kind. Oh, okay, thank God. They're taking care of this. Yeah, I bet they were.

I was like, what do you need the damn commissar for? The custodians. are here, man. Why did we even fly this guy in? What was the point? Yeah, I've got the Emperor's the lead here. We're good. So, yeah, the custodies, not that kind, are taking care of things, as far as they know. Kane is tasked to retrieve a group of gunners from one of their precincts in the village of Pagas Parva.

He arrives, and Gunner Olson and his buddy Nordstrom said they were drugged and robbed while they were in nearby tavern. The Crescent Moon. Kane goes there to investigate alongside a very flirty custodies, Sergeant. I mean, if it was the other kind of custodies, it would still sort of work, I guess. But the power dynamic would shift significantly, I feel like, with a flirty custodies. Yeah. But the sergeant was named. You just need the death by snoo-s-no.

Giff. That's what you need every time. So she's named Winnether Fu, whom Kane had met with a few times beforehand. Met being in inverted commas there. Arriving at the bar, they find a girl by the name of Kamala Dobrieski, but Kane notices something off about her immediately. Her musculature is all wrong, and he gets a sensation in his palms that serves as a warning. This is a gene-stealer hybrid. When he accuses Kamella of being one, she attacks killing a constable. Kaine takes her out with

his chainsawd, but the metaphorical hive has already been kicked. This building is a nest of hybrids and they have to run now. As they rush to the square, they're followed by a mob of hybrids and a militia. When all hope seems lost, Yergan and the hungover guardsmen open fire from the

buildings, allowing for Kaine and the others to retreat. As they get inside, they find that Nordstrom has become infected and needs to be killed. After putting him out of his misery, they all escape to the roof as gene stevers begin to break in. But just in the nick of time, the Acadian 101st arrive and

are able to purge the entire cult. Like, genuinely, the bottlenecking of the gene seers in that one building meant that they just got absolutely rinsed. They just got 300. Yeah, but the opposite. Oh, wait, no.

No, no, you're right. Yeah. No, you're right. Yes, they succeeded. Yeah. The ugly, smelly guy didn't show them the secret route that let the 300 get slaughtered. Actually, the ugly, smelly guy is holding a melter gun. Mm-hmm. And he is ripping shit up.

With a hangover, which makes it even more impressive. It's amazing what a solid melter gun will do. Yeah. It'll make the solid thing no longer solid. Hence the name. Still on Kefier, Kane sits and takes a bit of a break. Winether Fu is still on duty, seeking out the still missing patriarch of the Gene Steeler brood and Kane is bored.

Fortunately, Lieutenant Devis shows up with a proposition. His date that he was going to take to the music hall was purchased as a Gene Steeler hybrid. So he's got an extra ticket. They should go together. That's great. Big fan of that, actually. That's great. Please tell me that was the pickup line too.

I had a date, but we had to purge her as a jeans dealer cult, extra ticket. Hey, is that a third hand in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? He's happy to see me. Oh, I love that. Hell yeah, brother. They, yeah, so they, they should go together. Be a nice treat. A nice treat for both of them.

Ket Kaine out the house. Take Devis off, take his mind off. You know, the whole my date was going to eat me thing. The musical, The Resplendent, was a nice but gaudy place. And as Kane went through the lobby with Devas, he got a bunch of attention, including a free bag of cabernuts from the concession person since he was that commissar crane, what did for them roaches? What?

What a lad? What you mean? I mean, at first I was like, what the fuck are? cabin nuts and then it just it just proceeding got more and more confusing but all right sure the guy the concession stand was just grateful yeah cool he's you know he after all is that commissar crane what did for them roaches which not not not true not not not not accurate but cane just say close enough so it's fine uh the attention he got in the lobby included catching the eye of the owner of the theater, Erasmus Denevira, who invites the two of them to a private box for the show.

Is to go up the stairs, Denevira makes an offhand comment about the sellers and states that nobody's been down there for quite some time. I love foreshadowing. Foreshadowing is a literary device. He says he won't be joining them up there in the box and leaves them to the show. The seats are comfy, the show is great, and at the end of the show, DeNavira takes the stage and says that they have an honored guest this evening that kept them all safe from the enemy within. Kane feels very concerned about this and Vox's Yogan to bring the salamander

immediately before a spotlight turns to him and Devas. They attempt to get out of their undetected, but the sheer volume of people is making it difficult. Remembering what Denevere's said, they descend down to the cellar. Down there, they encounter the ticket boy, Orris, and he offers to take them through a secret passage. In the midst of stepping through this secret passage, Denevira encounters them and asks them how the show was, moments before Oris springs up and ripped De Nivera's head off. Oris was a hybrid and the tunnel was a trap. No.

You've got to be shook. You've got me shook. To my core. Quite the twist. Kane just can't have a day off, can he? It's just not possible for Kane. Even just going to see a nice show after doing a good job, sort of. There's still jean stealers around.

While Voxing Yogan, Devis and Kane encounter a gigantic creature about three times the size of a normal gene stealer. At least we know where the brood lord is now, Kane said before shooting at it. Devesant Kain turned to flee from the beast before the salamander bursts through a wall and unloads on the brood lord. Kane says that Juergen has excellent timing but asks why he's here and not outside, to which Juergen replied that there was nowhere to park outside. The theatre burns and snuffs out the hive once and for all. Colonel Mostry reaches out in an attempt to redeploy Kane. And Kane says that he needs to stay close by to make sure that everything is taken care of

and that Winnitha Fu gets everything she needs. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. So what does that mean? What does that mean, Kirroth? Yeah. Exactly what is that mean.

What is she need? I mean, as shy put it, sex, also known as a good seeing too. You could go for that if you wanted. Okay, okay. Seeing to, sure, sure. What, that's a legitimate, say a legitimate phrase. I've also only just realized that Winneth a foo is just Winnie the Pooh. Yeah, I suppose it is.

You know, can we, when was this novel written? This, I, that's a good question, and I'm not sure. Hang on. Just because I'm seeing a trend of a lot of sex with Gene Stee. Steelers lately. And by lately, I mean, in like the early parts of, of Warhammer's history. Wow. Okay, hang on.

Hang on. Let me. And by a lot, I mean, I mean, about two, which is weird that's happened twice. Yeah. It's not a lot, but yeah. Uh, this would be, there's been six thousand and three. He runs into a lot of gene stealer cults, doesn't he? Like, it's true.

Yeah. No. To be fair, Kane isn't having sex with. Gene Steeler. That's like, he's fighting the gene stealers and we that Winnitha, God's sake, Winnitha Fu is just a custodied sergeant, but not that kind. So it's perfectly simple, right?

It's fine. Wasn't there the other one though, before that with the three arm person? Oh, well, to be fair, the other one was Lieutenant Davis's date and they got purged, so it's fine. Right, they got purged. Sorry. I think maybe my wires were a little crossed because Shai posted a picture of a brood lord and then said sex in all caps. And I think maybe it just confused me a little bit. I mean, you know, forearms are better than two. I, I, you know.

Is this a speaking from experience moment or is this a guess? Oh, yeah, no, I have lots of experience with four armed women, Kyriath. Yes, of course. Of course I'm speaking from experience, you fool. You could have an entirely secret life making weird homunculus is. We don't know. Listen, of all the things I could be doing, if you think that this dumbass that can't get basic quotes right is somehow making genetic homunculi with forearms strictly for a sex harum, you're crazy, brother. That sounds like the plot of like a side mission and rogue freighter. Yes. Oh, that was an insane sentence.

And I'm so glad that you, that you, that you, that you, that you said all that. If we just splice it so that you just say, I am and then all of that, then, yeah. Yeah, but everybody would know, like, this fucking idiot. Keep staring at her can and her cans can. So, yes, Kane is staying with, uh, with Winnitha Fu and. giving her what she needs, so to speak. That just feels weirdly off saying that the way I'd said it, but whatever.

Instead, Colonel Mastrow decides to deploy Davis. And I have a little quote for you here, Bricky. Oh boy, a familiar odor announced the approach of my aid, who regard the conflagration with keen appreciation and handed me a welcome mug of Tanna. Well, apart from that, sir, he asked after a moment, How was the show? It's such a lot. It's just a line.

Of course, the important questions and, uh, and, and, and, you know, a familiar odor. Yeah. At least it's a signature stench, you know, you're not going to mistake him for anyone else. Everyone knows who he is purely by smell. That is an achievement. It's odor of you, by the way. So we know where this book was written. There's a, uh, a, uh, a, a video on,

a guy making award winning a Kansas two-time winner pickled eggs. And they have like minced garlic, red pepper flakes, etc. But I particularly enjoy it because he's just some random guy showing off his eggs. And he was talking about how horrendous it makes your farts. And all the comments down there are related to like, hey, buddy, it's great. I've been in a motel for a couple of days. So my wife can't stand me anymore. The quick and easy guy to Yergining yourself.

To adding a bit of Yergan there. Like, I farted the soul out of my ass. Shit like that. And, you know, going to go do some crop dusting at Walmart. And so I'm just imagining Yergan eating like pickled eggs all day. And that's why he's the way he is. Yeah. It's not because he's a blank.

He just loves them pickled eggs, brother. Who time? Two time winner Kansas Fair. They're just so good, man. I can't help. Wanted to repaint my room and decided to burn it up to paint off the walls. Oh, God. Thank you for that, Bricky.

We needed that in our daily life. Charlie. Oh, God. So follow. Following Kane's adventure in Sector 13, we move on to The Beguiling. Kane would find himself campaigning on the icy and cold world of Slorkenburg, Jesus Christ, and dealing with chaos forces. Kane had grown a bit bored of being safe, so he opts to lead a recon mission towards the front lines,

accompanying him a two gunners, Greer and Mullins, of course, Juergen. During their mission, they encountered two strange chaos troops, and instead of direct engagement, they flee to the woods. While seeking shelter, they discover a school, the St. Trinia Academy for the Daughters of Gentlefolk, which is the most fantasy-sounding shit I've ever heard in 40K, which is impressive given that, you know, it's 40K. They are welcomed into the school by the headmistress Amelia Dubois, and both Greer and Mullins are immediately enraptured by some beautiful girls who seduce them. Kane's interested, but his paranoia keeps him sharp. He sends Jogan back to report their location, but the departure of Yogan reveals the true nature of the head mistress.

She is a Slaneshi sorceress, and the seduction techniques of the school are to lure people in for demonic summons. She attempts to corrupt, Kane, but his strong will protects him, allowing him to break free. And I've got a quote for you here, D.K. Lovely. Sorry, I said. I prefer blondes. Then I shot her. She glared at me for a moment

An outraged astonishment Before the light faded from her eyes And she went to join whatever she worshipped in hell That's That fox actually That's sick as shit That's like some 007 shit too

I'm sorry Can I please Can I please just take this quote And copy paste it Sorry I said I prefer blondes. Then I shot her. I just,

what a while out of context, quote, before the light faded from her eyes and she went to enjoy whatever she worshipped in hell. Oh, man, that's quality. Well done.

Listen, shout out to possum for finding one of the best quotes we've ever seen. Right. God Kane finds the ritual But he's too late Mullins is a demon hoist And as look would have it

Noggle chaos troopers Attack the school Resulting in a three-way battle Once again Kane calls for an artillery strike On his position And the site is destroyed He champions Greer and Mullins as heroes

But leaves out the demon hoist bit entirely But More hauntingly, Kane notes that he still dreams of the green eyes of head mistress Emily, which in short could mean that his soul is not as safe as he hopes. I mean, look, you know full well he's fine. With lines like, sorry, I prefer blondes.

Then I shot her. Then I shot her. You can't leave that part out, brother. Until she goes to hell. Now we get to a bit of a shift in Kane's career. Post first siege of Perilia, an orky tale for another time, Kane would really love a desk job, so he volunteers to be a liaison between the Guard

and a chapter of space marines called the Reclaimers. The Reclaimers have some very, very tight bonds with the Admec, much like the Ironhands, and his transport to the battle barge of the reclaimers is an Admec freighter called the Omnis Eyes Blessing. This ship is commanded by Majos Killian, and he has one stop he wants to make on the way. Killian really wants some Archaeotech,

so they take a pit stop on the desolate world of interritus prime to find some. And they do find some stuff, and Killian once came to join him as they find out what his admec forces found. It's a weird tomb-looking thing that has hieroglyphs all over it. Oh. And then I shot her.

Hey, at this rate, you're going to have to put it on my shirt, brother. I am not putting sorry. I prefer blondes. then I shot her on the fucking shirt. And it's just Kyivus Kane big-ass grin on his face. You're saying that like it's A, a problem and B, people wouldn't buy it. You know that only one of those two things is true. Yeah, but the problem is people would buy it.

That's the problem. I don't. What? You're expecting like some kind of smug-ass grin and then, sorry, I prefer blondes. and then I shot her as like the text quote. Like an Abraham Lincoln thing? I don't know about that one. I don't think people are going to buy that one.

That's a funny thing to say, please don't actually do it. Goofy. Guys, I'm not selling shirts anymore. I don't know what happened. Now, of course, the discovery of a big old metallic spider causes Cain to realise that this whole thing is a bad idea.

Cain suggests they leave the construct alone, but of course the admec touch it, and it causes the construct to vanish. Bad news from orbit, the Omniscience Blessing, was obliterated by an unknown alien vessel who could have seen it coming. And sure enough, they are facing an onslaught from the Necron's who begin to wipe everything out around them.

Killian is vaporised while attempting to save Kane, and so he's left with no other options. He sees one of those warp portals, the Necron's walk through and he decides to dive through it himself. He flings out the other side in the middle of a battle between the Necron's and the reclaimers who had landed on the Necron ship and started fighting. The space marines managed to snag him before their planted demolition charges go off, but not before Kane loses two fingers on his right hand.

An actual injury? And only peeing two fingers off that? Incredible look. Let's be honest. Oh yeah. Also, man, can the admin? Stop touching Necron shit for once? Yeah. How many problems in Warhammer were just like, oh yes, the Admec found necrone thing.

Touch, touch, touch, touch, touch, touch, touch, touch, touch, touch, study, steady, touch, touch. Stop it. Most of the people, they see something they don't know what it is. They don't immediately poke it or try to turn it on or, you know, fill it full of electricity. They leave it alone. The ad mech, they've got. learn self-control. Especially with Necron stuff.

God, how many video games and books do we have about that being bad? God. Look through your fucking data banks, man, and get a clue. I vote D.K. to be the new fabricator General of Mars. I think he could really turn this place around. Oh, yeah. Worst idea ever. He did so well with the reclass.

that he is now working with them for a bit. And hey, they even graft two augmented fingers for him, so he's able to get back on duty right away. They're off to the Agriworld of Viridia, where a rebellion is taking place. At least it was a rebellion before they showed up. By the time the reclaimer strike cruiser, Revenant, shows up. It's a full-blown civil war.

Kane meets with the governor and comes into contact with Mirror de Pania. I'm trying to work out what that's a pun of. I don't know if it's a pun of anything. but ever since It kind of sounds like it is Yeah Winiford

Fu or whatever has really And I'm just searching for them now Oh man Especially the way it's spelled Right with the capital D lowercase U capital P Yeah Oh that looks funny

That looks odd But what is it off Yeah I'm not sure about that one too Sounds like the kind of name I would see in a disco elysium run Yeah kind of does Like a Dubois type deal Yeah. Mirrodupania.

Yeah. Okay. Sorry. Sorry. Let's say, let's go. Let's go. So, Mirudupania is also the governor's daughter and an officer of the PDF. She's more interested in the flashy nature of the PDF instead of actually being a soldier, which is frustrated to Kane, because he not only has to handle the ground assault against the rebels, but also keep his eye on her as well. It should be noted that she really has the hot for.

Kane and Kane doesn't do this any favours because he flirts back. However, she's looking to settle down and Kane is not. The ground assault, believe it or not, doesn't go well. The rebels, the rebels aren't just your run-of-the-mill rebels. That's right, baby. It's more gene stealers. And it looks like this, it's always gene stealers every time. And it looks like this infestation likely snuck its way through the PDF as well. Thanks to an intervention. from the reclaimers, Kane and Mirra are rescued, and now the issue evolves from Stop the Rebellion

to find the source of the gene stealers. A brief investigation in the Viridia system reveals the presence of a spacehawk called Spawn of Damnation. Wow. Really, yeah, really not fucking around with the name of that Space Hulk. Jesus, shy. God's sake. All right.

All right, dude. For sure. The spawn of damnation is known pretty well, and the reclaimers are now determined to take it down, so they can essentially claim it for their admec buddies. Of course, Kane is asked to come along once again. Now, during all of this, Kane got separated from Juergen, and Possum really wanted to include the line where Kane described seeing Juergen again for the first time in a while, because it's just that good.

So here you go, Bricky. He looked just as Irid remembered, as if a nergling had somehow become entangled with a random collection of guardsman kit. But I was delighted to see him, nevertheless. Yeah, that sounds about right. While tracking down the spawn of damnation, the reclaimers and Kane's crew arrive in a system and practically materialized in the midst of an orc fleet. And the orcs don't take kindly to their arrival. They attack the Revenant and board it. The orcs are defeated enough to allow for a jump out of the system, but it takes a lot of time to repair.

Eventually, they tracked down the Space Hulk in the Serendipity system. This system has a beautiful world that is just the perfect place for a Gene Steeler infestation. Kane and Juergen joined the Space Marines and the Admec who are seeking the Data Corps for the Hulk. And when Kane is sent to figure out why a cyber-altered task unit has gone offline, he is ambushed by Gene Steelers. The ambush kills their Terminator escort. comes to the conclusion that the main group is probably also being attacked. The solution, of course, is simple. Run away.

Him and Yogan, we've just got to get back to the Thunderhawk and they can leave. I love, I love that nine times out of ten, the correct response is, I'm out. See, I feel like... When it's a gene stealer cult, I mean, that is, that's a good response. I feel like it's so, uh, it's so propagandized as well, like that you need to run at people and kill them, like, for the emperor and all that kind of chance, it's for once it's like, all right, you know what? You know what?

Let's let's not do that. Let's get away. Let's do a real tactic. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah, as shy points out, they killed the Terminator escort. At that point, bye, bye, time to leave. Yeah.

If the Terminator got dunked on, chances are smelly blank. Hmm. Turns out. Absolutely stinking of shit and holding a meltergun is not as good as Terminator armour. So maybe we should leave. However, this is like a nergling guy entwined with guardsman kit. While stinking of shit with a melter gun. Am I wrong?

Tell me I'm wrong. However, they are on a Space Hulk and it's very easy to get lost. spacehawks. While wandering through the labyrinth of the ship, Kane and Juergen accidentally stumbled across a huge colony of orcs. It's very clear that they're prepping to land on the planet to unleash an ork-war, so he needs to urgently report this to the space marines. Attempting to further navigate, Kane stumbled into a gene-stealer mess that also has something a bit odd. Ork hybrids.

Oh. As in like gene-stealer ork hybrids? Yeah. I didn't know that was the thing you could do, but I don't see why not. Oh. Sounds like an awful time for literally everybody else, that, doesn't it? Yep. It sure does.

Kane concludes that the Gene Steelers' master plan is simple. Use orcs to cause havoc and spread the taint of the hive mind, while the gene Steelers themselves get to kick back in the shadows and watch. Knowing the orcs are unpredictable, Kane has an idea. He decided to make the orcs and gene Steelers fight one another. He does this easily. and after stumbling across another active cyber-alter task unit, Kane and Juergen are able to be teleported back to the Revenant.

The day is saved. The orcs are fighting a war with the jeans dealers. The reclaimers are ready to raid the spawn of damnation once the two Zenos forces kill one another, and most importantly, Mira has become engaged to the governor of Serendipa, meaning that Kane is off the hook and doesn't have to deal with her anymore. What a heroic end to the journey for that one.

Wow. Thank God. The worst, there's something even worse than Ork and Tyrannid hybrids, long-term commitment. This point in Kane's career is where the vast majority of the Kane Archives' writing comes from. Kane was put in charge of two Valahalan regiments, the 301st and the 296th. Both of these regiments had suffered massive losses after a tyrannid conflict on Carania

and as a standard procedure with the Munitorum, these fractured pieces were together. But the 301st and the 296 couldn't have been more different. Friction was immediate and was so bad that it was thought to be sheer stupidity. The 301st were shock troopers, while the 296th were an all-female rear security unit. The infighting between them resulted in riots, and by the time that Kane arrived, the infighting was so bad that some of the soldiers had killed one another. I mean, there's differences in doctrine, and then there's differences in doctrine, and then there's that. Yeah, that's not good. That's crazy. Just two guard, two guard regimen has just being like, no, they must die to each other. Insane. Cain decided that the only way around this

was to force full integration. He would take members of both respective regiments and form teams, making them depend on one another while forcing camaraderie. He would incentivize them generously if they worked well together through things like extra rations of drinks, referred to as Cain's Round. They also opted to work on a new name for the entire group, the 597th Regiment, adding the two numbers together, allowing them to honour their old respective traditions and identities while unifying everyone. The first conflict that the 597th was involved in was on the world of Gravalax. The Tao are attempting to annex this world through propaganda and trade agreements, so not technically a conquest or anything like that, but enough of a threat to make the Imperium respond.

the response isn't meant to be severe. The 597th are there to sort of show the flag and do nothing more than be a bit of a police garrison to prevent people from defecting. Kane is hoping for it to be nice and quiet, but as we have learned so far, this never really happens when Kane's around. No.

It just doesn't get a day off. The world of Gravelaxes, oddly, partially Tao, in style and architecture. When he lands there, he meets his old buddy Divas from earlier, and they grab a drink. Devis makes mention that the situation here is actually a lot worse than the Imperium is letting on and that Inquisitors are poking around. Cain is invited to the Governor's Palace and meets Governor Grice and an envoy from the Imperium, including a rogue trader named Aurelius. He believes that Aurelius may be the secret inquisitor, but he's more interested in the lounge

singer there. Her name is Ambley Vale, and they share a few words and a dance before the Tao ambassador Oran Shas Oh my God Whatever Dude, The Tao ambassador I get it

Yep Yep, yep Yep, yep Yep, that guy That guy I literally can't process That so we're just going to not mention it

The Tao ambassador Oran arrives Within a few moments The ambassador Ambassador Glouper shit aside Classic

Goddaff. Within a few moments the ambassador is assassinated, thanks to an unseen balter. Both sides believe that the other has fired the first shot, but Kane believes that there may be a third party trying to provoke a war. Kane voxes to Juergen to state what had happened, but he made a mistake. The vox line was not secure, and within a few moments, word of the assassination had spread. That is a rookie error. That is for a commissar? Come on, dude. Lord General Zyvan becomes aware of what's happening and he does not think that any imperial intervention is actually worth it. Fighting over a planet like Gravelax is unnecessary. Kane's mission shifts to finding the killer of the ambassador. He goes to the PDF headquarters and these PDF members have entrenched themselves. They say that they're instructed to do so by the secret inquisitor who is investigating elsewhere. After causing an explosion that destroys the rebels' force, and it's around this time that Kane learns the truth. The secret inquisitor was And believe it.

all along. I think this was possible not to. This was the post. I know that, but is this pre or post he gave her the little, the little whammo blammo. Oh. The slammo hammo. I don't quite remember.

It's been a bit. What the fuck man. You know, plow the bean field. You know, plant some seeds. The old wamo blamo. You know, you know, get, you know, wrestle the ball. headed champ. Is this how SpongeBob taught you to talk about sex or something, dude?

What are we doing? I, Bumpin' uglies. I think, I think Plow the Beanfield actually caused physical pain. So I will not take credit for that one. That one was from, I think, Fallout 3,

or maybe his New Vegas, with one dude who's really trying to get with this one gal who is obsessed with Nucca Coca-Cola. Oh my God. Plow the beanfield, brother. Plow the bean field. Yeah, yeah, you know, you know. Gotta make sure you have a clean hoe.

Yeah, yeah, you sure do. You sure do. You rattle off a bunch of those like real quick, too. That was impressive. I'm proud of you, buddy. I have my moments. Oh, God. Definitely a moment.

Yeah, le. Vail also believes that this world is not really worth rescuing, especially considering the other threats in the galaxy. However, it's also not a good idea to just give up on it. Letting the Tao have it essentially gives them permission to do this with other worlds. The solution is to find the third party that's provoking the war, and a big hint as to what that party is comes in the form of the PDF, F rebelling and attacking both the guard and the Tao at the same time.

While Kane and Veil's party investigating, they encounter a Tao scouting party, which includes a crout by the name of Goroch. They find some humans that were killed, and Goroch does what he does best. He takes a little nibble on the flesh. That is what called you. I'm not... Looking to do a little nibble on the flesh, you know? We're not far enough away from ploughing the beanfield to have a little nibble on

flesh. Yeah, Possom, where's your, where's your, um, foresight? Come on. How did you not foresee this happening? Possum? Jesus, come on. However, the flesh of this human is disgusting and tainted, which means one thing. You guessed it.

Gene Steeles. Of course. As always. As usual. jeans Steelers are the Eldrad of this book series it zones out. For whatever reason, they always show up.

Case Kane spreading gene stealers himself. Oh, that would be quite the plots, this, wouldn't it? That'd be so great if there was something in like his jacket that was actually spreading like the jean steeler on air. You say his jacket. Like, the dude plows beanfields everywhere. Like, he clearly is fucking. If he's going to be spreading the gene stealer virus, that's how.

I guess that's true. He do be fucking. Sorry, I didn't have any cute innuendo for that. I just went right in like an adult. Do we do we know if it's actually transmitted gene steers are a thing? It has to be. Well, no. I mean, that's the point, right?

The gene stealer kiss gives you like the genetic makeup and then you really want to bang people a lot. because it spreads through that and then that's why you have the various generations of gene seeds. It is him. It's all him. It's him. It's him. He's a jean steeler carrier. Get tested.

We solved it. As the town and guard forces are intensifying outside, Kane and the crew find the nest of the gene stealers, which has a tunnel leading to the governor's palace. One trooper is shot in their. head and the person who fired that shot is Governor Grice, revealing himself is the Gene Steeler Patriarch. After an altercation, ambly hit the governor with a poison dart, killing him after an agonising few moments. The cult of the Gene Steeler collapses, the terror retreat to avoid an

unwinnable war, and Kane is hailed as the savior of Gravelax and awarded the Star of Terror. Again, Kane and Vale enjoy a nice dinner at a private restaurant where she tells Kane that Juergen is a blank, explaining a lot of coincidences that have happened in the past. Kane is a bit nervous about potentially being recruited by Vale, but she doesn't have any intention of doing so at the moment. They toast to the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Again, inverted commas doing a lot of heavy lifting with the word friendship there. Though we're not going to talk about it too much in this episode, Kane's relationship with the Tao is a bit odd and interesting. One of the Tao accompanying the ambassador to that meeting was a

diplomat named El Hassei, who he would encounter again 60 years later. During this diplomatic meeting, El Hussai and his envoy bring Tanna as an offering, remembering Kane's favorite drink, and the meeting is shockingly cordial. So I've got a quote for you here, D.K. Oh, El Hussai, I said, the 60 years since I'd last seen the Tao diplomat falling away like so many days the moment I got clear sight of him. No doubt one of his own kind would have detected signs of aging. Throne knows I'd acquired more than my own share, but he looked pretty much the same to me.

I'm pleased to see you so well. And I, you, El Hussai responded politely, shaking the preferred hand just gingly enough to let me know he hadn't forgotten the augmentic fingers lurking beneath my glove. Lord General, El Hussai went on, not missing a beat. A great pleasure to meet you at last. No doubt, Zyvin inclined his head courteously, his impatient. Manifest, I look forward to hearing what you have to say. Actually, quite...

Pleasantries. Quite respectful. Pleasant. Nice. Yeah. Far, far step away from the Imperial propaganda of, shoot this guy immediately. Well, I like it. You know, diplomat.

True. True. That's... That's... That's... I was supposed to say that. That stops everyone. Yeah.

So Lentonia is one of the next... stops with Kane's regiments and they arrive just in time. A war has ended and this one looks like it's actually going to be kind of boring. Kane meets the new governor, Jonah Warden and to say she's a bit eccentric is an understatement. They make their way to the capital and there's a whole lot of excited townsfolk that come and take them on their way. And by that I mean they're cannibals and they want to eat them. Yeah, as you do, sure. A little nibble of the flesh. It's catchy. It's everyone. Kane barely escapes and it's as clear as day that something is horrifically wrong.

I mean, yep. And this something wrong only gets worse when a plague rips through the guardsman, killing them. But this also, of course, isn't the worst bit. A memorial service for fallen guardsmen is ruined when the coffin bursts open and the dead attack the congregation, forcing Kane to fight his way out. The plague is identified by Majos as the plague of unbelief, and it is, surprise, a Nurgal one. The only ones immune are the Valhallans.

A vaccine made by the Majos, but it's ineffective because this ailment isn't just viral, it's also spiritual. The bodies of the dead would need to be burned and the plague zombies would need to be taken out. There's some concern as to where the plague came from and an accusation that the Tallinn Desert Raiders might have unknowingly brought it

causes something of a disagreement, but something needs to be done before the planet is overrun. The troops needed to redeploy so they could fight. back. The capital is besieged by tens of thousands of zombies and the impact is devastating. Kane, though, comes up with a plan. This plan involves taking vows of the vaccine and taking them to the skies and spreading them as if they were chemical munitions. And to give it some extra kick, making sure that the vaccines were blessed prior to dispensing. A plan that could, if pulled off properly, save the whole planet. But in order to do this, they'd need to sneak the blessed

vaccine through the tunnels to avoid going through the brunt of the zombie hoard directly. Of course, Juergen and Kane agree to do this themselves. The blessed vaccine. It's, it's, oh no. I just, I just like that. I just like that. It's just, it's just fun to me. The blessed vaccine. And hey, it could be, it could be worse. At least it's not gene stealers. Yes. Well, I was going to say. No. The twisted helix is a very fascinating gene stealer group. That's our favorite.

It might not be gene stealers, right? Don't get too worried too soon. As they go through the tunnels, they take out a surprising number of zombies, only to accidentally find the cause of the plague, a Nurgle sorcerer who is taunting them. He says he wields the gifts of the grandfather, and Kane says he wields the gifts of the grandfather, and Cain says he wields a las pistol. Great, great retort, and I've got a quote view here, Bricky. I might not have.

You might have to do it, D.K. Oh, yeah, I can hit it if, uh, if Bricky doesn't want. Uh-oh, well, maybe his, maybe his stuff popped out again. Oh, is it, is it, is it gone again? Oh, he might, he might have had to restart. he's been you know what I think he's I think he's been got by Gene Stealers

oh man God what a shame what a shame either that or he's right I was gonna say right in the bean field right in the bean field oh man

did I fucking die you did right in the bean field brother hey hey don't you be don't you be pointing out by bean field don't you be touching that I'm not touching nothing man We're just saying, like, something happened in the, hey, hey, hey.

Is this a quote I need to read? Yeah. Oh. It was, it was perfectly tied because I said, and I've got a quote for you and put it in, and they was dead silent. It sounded like you just ghosted the shit out of karyoth. Yeah, sorry, don't know walls you carry off. Okay, all right. Another bloody word, you're getting muttered, bringing them melted a bear.

Why does it always have to be words? It doesn't always, I reminded him. Sometimes it's Steelers or Necrons or mutants or something. Every time we go down a hole, Juergen persisted, with this tempered tenacity he generally exhibited when he felt hard done by. It ought to be against regulations. That was unforgivably rude, the heretics said, sounding as though I just committed some social faux pa at the cotillion he was hosting.

Catillion? I'm assuming that's some sort of like party thing or like a gathering or get together. I've never heard it, but... A formal social program for middle or high school students. That's a... Well, that's the A.Ooviews, so it's evil. A social dance popular in the 18th century in Europe or North America. Context clues, but yeah, I'd never heard it before.

Good word usage there. That's nice. So the heretic being like that was unforgivably rude. How dare you mock my shithole? I've worked hard on this thing. Tried to make it a welcoming home for guests and fuck you, buddy. After a standoff, Kane and Yergan kill the sorcerer and before long they're able to deliver the payload for disbursement, ending the plague.

Now at this point, Kane finds himself on the backwater world of Trego watching a null ball game in the private box of the planetary governor. Him and the 597th have been there for a few months, cleaning up the remnants of a coup. Not a lot of oversight, just the way Kane likes it. It's as close to a holiday as he's had in a bit. And as he takes a nice sip of his amassack, his combed crackles,

and he's informed that something strange is on the auspices. A massive object is falling into the atmosphere, fear, but it isn't a ship. Concerns are immediately dismissed as it's just some space debris probably. It's looking like it's going to fall in the ocean as well. Initially, the fear is that it's going to just cause some waves on the nearby islands and nothing more. What are we thinking this might be then? Gene Steelers.

Don't do it to me. Gene Steelers. It's a gene stealer thing, isn't it? Say it. It's not that far off. Of course, things get a bit bad when they get word that something is happening on the islands. Something big is moving past them and toward the mainland and it's not stopping. The reports come in and confirm that it's a Titan-sized screamer killer, as if the

sized ones aren't bad enough. Wait, wait. What's a screamer killer again? It's a giant tier and monster. It's a variant of carnifex, but they do like a big like, wee, wee, wee, wee, like scream at you and it like kills you. Oh, sick. Yeah, that's the mini.

It came out with the 10 edition box. Yeah, it's part of Levitin. Very cool. That but Titan-sized. Yes. Fell from orbit. Do you think the Titan-sized one also has alopecia? Surely.

Look at it. Look at it and laugh at me again. Because the new Screamer killer does have that weird look. You are 100% right. Yeah, I'll bet. Sure. Wow. Oh, man.

No, I can make fun of other people's hairlines. It takes one and no one. I have the pass. Funnily enough, conventional weaponry is doing absolutely nothing when it comes to this Titan-size-screamer killer, and it begins to tear through the docks on the mainland like a legally distinct Godzilla. A plan is devised to lure this massive biotitan to the Null Bull Stadium.

There are gravplates in there, and the idea was that they could have tech priests activate the plates, causing the creature to be lifted and suspended in the air so they can bomb it. The plan actually works, and a Starhawk bomber launches plasma torpedoes at it, causing the biotitan to explode, and rain viscera all over the stadium,

which, according to the planetary governor, is going to frack up the playoffs. Yeah. I know it's frack up the playoffs because one of the various non-fuck words that they make. Yeah. Yeah. Also, well, they'll probably explain to the book. How did just one singular solitary Titan-sized screamer killer show up?

Like, shouldn't it be with like a bunch of other tyrannids? That's a very good question that I don't have the answer to. I'm going to suggest that it just got detached. and just was wistfully floating through space until it finally crash landed exactly where Caiaphas Kane happened to be. Yep. Yeah, okay. That's what I'm choosing to do.

That sounds like what would happen to him, honestly. He has a bad run of luck. Mm-hmm. You really don't. I mean, and it's, you know, he is, we've established at this point that wherever he goes, tyrannids are sure to follow. So, you know, it tracks based off previous experiences. Now, we're going to move on to the only good or

At this point, despite being more or less on the other side of being retired, Kane would find himself pulled into a conflict on the world of Fremantan. This world had in the past dealt with some orc issues and things have been relatively well handled. But, of course, one thing that can mess up holding the orcs back is when the guardsmen become... No. What would the guardsmen? Don't, don't, don't be. It can't be. They can't.

guardsmen become. No. Don't tell me what happens Karioth, what happens. Yeah. One thing

they can mess up holding the oaks back is when the guardsmen become jean stickless. Yeah. Yeah. I knew it was going to happen.

I just, I just, I just, I did. They actually. Oh, God. The, uh,

yeah, the, the, the, from the Garzma infiltrated Pachin Stuckel. God damn it. Man, who did Caius Cane plow

in the beanfield for this one to happen? Yeah. I think he's infected, man. I think he's infected. It's got to be him. It's got to be. There's no other explanation. Like he's immune to it, but he just keeps spreading it

because he doesn't know he has it. It's got to be. It's got to be. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Shy. And then Eldrad shows up and tells him he's infected. Oh, God. The planet then had

fallen into a state of civil war. The biggest mistake Kane made was passing through a nearby void station while a task force was being assembled. Okay, in this case, in fairness, they were already there when he got there. He was just passing through and got roped in. I mean, to be fair, at this point, he stopped at least five Gene Steeler cult uprisings. So he is the man that you want on your side, sort of, technically. Arriving planet side in the cascades on the planet, him and your...

and Salamander would be ambushed by cultists, causing the salamander to tumble into the gorge. As he emerges out of the salamander, an orc is there ready to kill him. Kane, knowing a bit of orcish, proposes a truce to the ork. We kill them first, then each other. The orc, looking for a scrap, agrees,

but it needs a weapon. The orc looks at the heavy boulter and the salamander and says, Shooter, to which Kane responds with, Help yourself. The ork then rips it off and charges the gene-stealers while chanting, kill them first. You're going

What? No, no, no, that one makes sense. Yeah. That's an orc. That goes correct to me. It's great. Yergan and Kane slip away and attempt to find a way out of this gorge with tact.

The orc would run back and scream, killed them all, and Kane would point to other groups and say, not all of them, to cause the orc to keep getting rerouted. Eventually, the ork would kill them all, but at a heavy cost. extremely wounded it would return to Kane and Kane would say now each other before ramming a chainsawed through its chest leaving Juergen and Kane alone in the gorge

with a thermos of Tanner and some rope that they'd have to use to get out of there since you know the salamander is ruined fucking brilliant I love that I genuinely really love that poor orc he just wanted a good grumpin

and it sounds like he took out a shitload of He didn't stealers as well. He did. He put in work for that reward of getting to fight in one-on-one, and then he didn't even get to do it properly. He did die doing what he loved. That's true. Kane finds himself.

Finally, for real this time, I promise, in a position that is safe. He is attached to the staff of Lord General's Ivan, and this diplomatic posting is going great. He opts to join planetary governor Landon Hoy on a tour of the orbital facilities aboard the war. wave crest, a luxury yacht. It's going great, and as night rolls in and Kane is left with thoughts, things are quiet. Also, I now need to know what the pun for Landon Hoy is.

Is it simply Landahoy? That sounds like it would be that, Landahoy. Yeah, and it's a luxury yacht called the Wavecrest. It is that, isn't it? Yeah, luxury lot, Landon Hoy, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Actually, huge fan of that, by the way. Actually, a huge fan of that.

That one could stay. Good old land a fly. So, yeah, they're aboard the wave crest. Things are going great, and Kane has left with thoughts. Things are quiet, a bit too quiet. In the evening, the corridors of the ship are empty, and for good reason. There was a mutiny. A cult of Tao sympathizers, I read the word cult, and even though I've already read this through,

I was immediately like, it's going to... My heart's saying for a second. It's like, no way. You can. But I still thought. A cult of Tao sympathizers had killed the governor and now plan to use the wave pressed as a ship-sized torpedo to deal a fatal blow to an imperial flagship. Kane kills traitors left and right and learns that the reactor is set to overload.

And if this thing makes contact with the flagship, it's bad news for everyone. Kane assesses the situation and determines that now is just a good of a time as any to get the hell out of there. He rushes to an escape pod, but is stopped by the leader of the cult, Hannaar. Before Hannaar can kill him, Yergan pops out of the service passageway to assist him, causing Hannaar to flee.

Yergan and Kain try to fight their way to the pods only to find all of them gone, except for one, and Hannaar is currently inside of it. She's trying to flee with a bag of goods, so Kane and Yirgan have a standoff with her. Hanar says that she believes in the plan, but she doesn't want to die for the greater good

like she's been preaching. She wants to be around after to keep up the looting and get paid. You know what? You know what? Maybe those orcs kind of rubbed off on the towel a little bit there. Kane attempts to stall her by lamenting about the standard mulatorium pay he gets for being a commissar and how it's based on service plus accommodation and rations while the hat and sash are included. As he says this, he slowly moves his hand down to the weapon he's carrying, a towel weapon, and manages to draw and gets a shot off on her first. disintegrating Hanna and allowing both Kane and Juergen to launch the pod.

Kane voxes Zyvan and he's able to destroy the yacht before it can make contact with the flagship. Another genius plan that came about largely through trying to run away. I love it. I genuinely, Kane, he's the best for a reason. Clear. Oh yeah. He actually is. This, though, is Kane's last stand.

And our final story for the day takes place back on the world of Perlier. this time, Kane is essentially fully retired and is teaching at a scholar near the capital city of Havensdown. Retirement isn't as luxurious as you would have hoped, as there's a lot of our jobs that need to be done at all times. The tyrannic wars have been difficult and have tapped a lot of the local resources, and there's a fear that there are some tyrannid still lurking somewhere in the system. More pressing, however, are rumours that are being spoken about by other instructors of the scholar. There are strange and heretical rumors that Abadon might have launched another invasion in the Imperium, but others dismiss this as being a bit of a stretch.

Kane uses the spread of these rumours as a sort of education tool for his students to show them how to spot heretics. One thing that does arrive in the system is an old cohort of Kane's rogue trader Aurelius. He invites Kane aboard his ship and confirms the worst. Abidon's invasion is in fact real, and it's actually heading this way. Kane knows why this might be the case. On Purlia, there's a Mechanica shrine that contains a powerful Xenos artifact known as the shadow light. The Mechanicus have refused to remove this device off-world even after the Inquisition really stressed that it might be a good idea. Arradius says that Amberly hopes that

Kane is able to do something about this, either by defending it directly or convincing the Mechanicus to get it the hell out of there. The forces of chaos start to trickle in slowly, and Kane rallies the PDF forces to fight back. However, unlike the forces of chaos, Kane has encountered before, these guys are a hell of a lot more organized and more tactical, making him deeply concerned. The PDF take a few prisoners of war, and Kane recognizes them as members of the PDF from other nearby systems. They sing the praises of their leader, Varon the undefeatable. Asking trouble with that name, aren't you? Just asking for it. You can't be calling your shot before becoming undefeatable. He freed them from the bonds of

their imperial lives and he will do the same for Peirleyer. While researching him further, Kane's cadets find picked casts of Varon rallying his followers, and Kane finds it all to be a bit silly. He finds the warmaster to be ridiculous and uninteresting as well. Knowing that they're a bit out of their depth, they begin to appeal to the public to gain more reinforcements to bolster their numbers. Bolstering their numbers is all they can do at this point, because despite great efforts, the Mechanicum and the Ordo Xenos are not able to move the shadow light. It's just too big, meaning that the planetary forces need to focus on defence. The chaos forces that really begin to translate in

are immediately rocked by orbital minefields, throwing them into some degree of disarray, but they are able to rally with subsequent waves. The forces are, in short, the sum of all fears for the Imperium due to their size and aggression, and it doesn't take long for the Perlian defences to be stretched thin. Kane attempts to keep the morale up, but the breakdown gets worse when Varen's flagship, called the undefeatable. Wait. Wait, wait, like, named after him.

That, yeah, Varon the Undefeatable has a ship called the Undefeatable. Nestor has how many Ferris Manis, that means iron hand has an iron hand. Undefeatable is coming at us with the undefeatable, nice. I mean, you know, there is a commitment to branding there, but I feel like it could be done a bit more effectively. A little more subtle to me. Yeah, maybe a little bit. So the undefeatable, carrying Varing the undefeatable, arrives in orbit.

The governor surprises Kane by beginning to appeal for surrender. Kane counters this with his own rallying propaganda. Word is received from an astrophatic signal that there is imperial relief inbound from Kefya and the name of the game is holding the line until reinforcements show up. Now is the time to mention the old Valhallaan proverb, things can always get worse. At the end of the... No, no, I'm a big fan of that one.

That's a good one. What a proverb, yeah. At the end of the valley, the defenders of the shadow light see an oncoming party of necrons. Now we have two major forces trying to get the Xenos artifact and the Imperium is caught in the middle.

Knowing that Varon can't resist a good spectacle, he transmits a message to his forces. Meet with me so we can negotiate a surrender. Of course, ever the pompous one, the undefeatable accepts. Kane goes to meet with him only accompanied by Juergen, and Varen is being escorted by Battle Sisters under his control. What? That's wild.

Battle sisters under his control? Yep. What, the balls? That, kind of crazy. Honestly. Older book, I guess, I don't know, weird. weird. They are, they are famously not the sort to be doing that almost ever. Pretty much ever. No, I mean like, like Tyrannid orcs is okay because it was like written in 2001.

But this is, this is the more recent book? So this, Kane's last stand, when was this? When was this? I actually don't know when this was. I mean, when you say under his control, is that just brainwashed? Because then they're not really. Traders. It's only the sixth book. So. Hmm. Yeah, yeah, because that's a good point.

Well, I'm sure we'll find out why they're under his control in a moment. Because, like, they certainly, they sure as shit haven't been convinced. So maybe they're like psychically puppeteered of some sort. Yeah. Yep. There's no way that Farron was like, you should work for me. The wages are great. And they went, sure, let's go.

That's absolutely not. Two of them. What will have happened there? Historically, there's been like, one, like, traitor sister in all of Warhammer history, right? And there's been a couple, but, like, some get affected by chaos a lot. Like, there was that one arcs of omen story with Angron,

where they all went crazy. But, like, but, like, yeah, like, you say under his control, I assume these, like, psychically doing some... Yeah, whatever. Yeah, yeah. Warp nonsense. Warp bullshit. Wartre.

Nonsense. Exactly. Space magic. Space magic for the way. Varon was, also a powerful psycher who laced his seemingly uninspiring speeches with mental dominance to sway his audience to chaos, including an adept to sororitus. There we go. So, full on. There it is. Yep, yep. Kane decides to reveal his trap. He tells Varin that he's actually there to accept his

surrender, not the other way route. Varen realizes his power has suddenly been sapped, and he orders his bodyguards to shoot Kane. Kane charges forward and tells Juergen to stay close to the sisters, confusing them and leaving him to face Varen alone. Varen. is an imposing figure with spiked armor, and Kane knows that he can't take him out easily. He instead plays a little bit of cat and mouse with him, forcing him to stand dangerously close to the edge of the dam that they have met on. And I've got a chunky quote for you here, D.K. All right. For a moment as he staggered back, I dared to think that it was all over after all, but he came on again, almost at once a smile of pure malice spreading across his face.

That was unexpected, wasn't it? he gloated, leaping at me like an attacking, hormagant. I pivoted out of the way just in time, his talons ripping the sleeve of my greatcoat, striking at his back with the edge of my chain sword. At the last instant, I pivoted out of the way, letting his momentum carry him past. Suddenly realizing the danger he was in, the rabid little mutant, tried to throw his weight backwards, arresting his headlong rush, and almost made it. Had I not been there, he undoubtedly would have succeeded. Comasar Donal sends his regards. I snarled and kicked out, taking him squarely in the fundament with an impact which jarred up the length of my leg, arms flailing the self-styled invincible

warlord pitched over the edge of the roof, screaming and tear all the way down until the noise abruptly ceased with a loud slap. That's pretty good. It's goofy as it's so goofy. Not quite, and then I shot her, but it's up there. It's definitely up there, yeah. The death of Varon did not stop his forces, and the arrival of monoliths meant that they were between a rock and a hard place. The shallow light chamber was rigged with explosives, but they didn't detonate. Moments later, the Nechrons vanished,

and Kane believes that the Necron successfully retrieved the artifact. Imperial history states that Kane broke the forces of chaos, and this tactic allowed for reinforcements to sweep up the remnants with ease. Strategically, the Necrons are never mentioned, and the fact that it was the Necrons that destroyed the remaining forces of chaos is also obviously not brought up either. Kane and Amberley stand in the empty shrine with a Death Watch team, and Kane knows that he failed the mission she tasked him with. She assures him stating that at least Varen didn't get the shadow light. Whatever it does, the Necrons didn't utilize it, meaning they did not view them as a threat.

Amberly wonders how they can explain away the Necron presence when the Navy arrives. and Kane laughs. And I have one last quote for you, Bricky. Sorry, does it start with the It's Not Coming part? It does. Okay. It's not coming, I said. It never was.

I took out my data slate and showed her the full text of the message. The communique signed by Fleet Captain Leary. Leary retired in 954, I told her. The message was just an echo, bouncing around in the warp. It happens. But it arrived when you needed. it, Amberly said. Quite a coincidence. I shrugged. I've always been lucky. I said. Amberly grinned at me again, her expression appraising. Not always, she said, but maybe tonight. On which cheerfully

optimistic note, this volume of the Kane Archive comes to its natural conclusion. Classic, classic Bond ending there. Classic bean field ending. Yeah, yeah, right in the bean field. Also, you should be leery of the message from Leary, huh? Because it's not real. It's just bouncing around in the... All right, you get it. You fucking, fine. I don't like that.

That's what I got to say. That might be the flattest shutdown I've ever heard. I don't like that. I was pretty good. I don't agree with your opinion. sends the laser from the vengeful spirit at you. Fine. I don't like that and then I shot her.

Just end the episode, why don't you? Jesus. I don't like that and then I shot her as perfect. That is the sort of overview that we can fit into something that isn't eight hours long for Kane. Yeah. There's a lot.

he's clearly class, right? He's clearly excellent and the best, just actually the best. Class? He's definitely the best. I always thought that, um, I always thought that, like, Eisenhorn was the, the James Bond series. And it certainly, it kind of is, but I didn't realize how much bond shenanigans was also in this. Maybe it's, maybe it's just because James Bond is a British property. and so there's a lot to pull from.

I feel like this is sort of like the, I don't want to say schlocky bond, but like sort of the campy bond where like, you know, you got villains that'll throw their hat and you got the guy with like the big metal teeth that's actually just a gentle giant. That's what Caius Kane kind of feels like, right?

And then like maybe the Inquisitor feels more like the modern ones that are a little more serious. How do we trick the big dumb brute in the bond group? I know have him attack everyone. else. Right? Classic.

Classic. Also, yeah, shout out to Sandy Mitchell, who wrote all of the cane books. Oh, shit, they had one author, right? All of them? And probably gave them a good amount of time to do them. Shocking what happens when you do something like that. It turns out that, you know, plenty of breathing space makes for entertaining, entertaining reads. He slaughter on my slaughter till I slaughtered, you mean?

There is so much. I actually prefer blondes and then I slaughtered her. Yes. Hell yeah, brother. Hell yeah. All right. Oh, and for Kyrioth connection, yes. St.

Amy much said that both Kane's names are rather self-indulgent biblical jokes. Yeah. I mean, that sounds exactly right. And I like how the biblical It started with biblical jokes, and then we end up with Winneth a Fu, which is just a joke about a cartoon bear. Yeah, and Landon Hoy and that other one that is going to bug the shit out of me because I couldn't work out what it was. And listen, every time you said Kane was able, I had to bite my tongue a little bit and not be like, all right, okay, all right. Miradupania, that's it.

That's going to ready. That's going to ready book me. Varon the undefeatable on his ship, the undefeatable. What a time. Well, yeah, yeah. What a time. Always love to hear what the boy Kane is up to. Heck yeah.

All right, everyone. Sorry, but I prefer blondes. And then I ended the episode.