Adeptus Ridiculous - CODEX CRISIS: CHAOS SUCCEEDS WHERE CUSTODES FAILED

Episode Date: June 5, 2024

https://www.patreon.com/AdeptusRidiculoushttps://www.adeptusridiculous.com/https://twitter.com/AdRidiculoushttps://orchideight.com/collections/adeptus-ridiculousChaos Space Marines are genetically augmented transhumans who seek only to conquer, slaughter, and despoil. Clad in baroque power armour bedecked in macabre trophies and infernal iconography, Chaos Space Marines do battle alongside growling battle tanks, monstrous Daemon Engines, and thronging masses of cultist thralls. Some are possessed by daemonic allies, others bear Chaos-tainted artefacts or wield warp sorcery. No matter what form they take, they pursue their Long War with pitiless brutality, slaughtering any who stand in their path in an ever-escalating campaign of vengeance, conquest Support the show

everybody to another episode of The Adeptus Ridicrous Podcast. My name is D.K. Diamantis. His name is Bricky. And today, I have been assured that this episode will not go longer than an hour. But before we get into that, if you enjoy today's episode and you want to support the podcast, send over to patreon.com slash Adeptus Ridiculous, where you can get access to our Discord, bloopers if they happen. The $15 tier gets you access to all of our posts in crispy, digital HD format. It's amazing. Patreon.com slash adeptus ridiculous. And Bricky will tell you things, but I think Shai has a message for me to read later.

So Bricky, just go through your thing while Shai does the... Hey, if you want to get the merch, check out the merch at Orchidate.com. Also, you should double check it and double check that description because this June, it's a new month. Wow. We are actually going to be doing a big summer sunset and shame sale. This is very simple, long story. story short. We are going to be dropping a lot of the older designs from way back when.

And so there will be a link with a lot of old ad directive designs and other various things that we are going to be retiring. June is the last month. You can get them before we just move straight on out. And also we have a thing we're doing called the shame sale, which is very simply products that have little minor imperfections and other small changes like that, that we are also dropping for half off two. So, you know, maybe one of the prints had like a little side of the print that didn't quite, quite make it on the, I don't know, it's a little faded. Or like the text is a little slanted for some reason. Tax is a little slanted, all that kind of stuff. So we're doing it. It's the pile of shame, hence the phrase. That's actually really good. I thought I was pretty all right. So those are all half off big like just if you want to snag them, like you don't care about some minor imperfections. You want to get yourself some merch. Go ahead and snag them. They are just a notice there are no refunds on these because of the nature of the sale. So check them out. They are, I'll have both, I'll give Shai both links in the description for the summer sunset and the shame sale.

And yeah, we'll drop them down there. But Shai does have a message for me to read. This is an update on fantasy. Patreon's voted for us to cover all the fantasy from original to end times to age of Sigmar, so that, ladies and gents, is what we are going to do. The first episode will launch in July. Right now, we're going to do research and preparing new art and music. The podcast will launch under the name the Realm of Ridiculous.

A hammer of Ridiculous just didn't have that Dracula flow to it. And last, but most unfortunate of all, we just physically have no time in our scale. to also do Detective Ridiculous, so we will have to kind of table that for now. It's not like a forever cancelization, and we might go back to it if we figure out how to make it work, but since I am going to have to literally learn fantasy well enough to somehow try to teach it to Bricky, you know, it's going to be a time consumer, and we also don't want to like bloat and dilute the channel too much with three separate shows. since this is primarily a 40K podcast.

However, the good news is we want to end Detective Ridiculous with a bang and not a whimper. So we will release two more episodes this month and they will be two of the more popular, bigger, hotter true crime stories ever. So look forward to Detective Ridiculous being sent off with a loud. I also would like to point out that I think with these last. two episodes. This puts us at 25 episodes of Detective Ridiculous, which would be the original April Fool's episode and exactly two years, one month each, exactly two years of Detective Ridiculous. So I think it's, yeah, one, holy crap, I can't believe it's been that long. But it is a perfect, just like a solid, a solid, like, a nice end number, solid two years, you know, especially for

for something that was just supposed to be an April Fool's Day joke to kind of mess with you, that it turned into a two-year stint, is kind of crazy. That's kind of wild. You know, June is the best month, D.K. Why is June the best month? It's my birthday month. Oh, that's right. Therefore, it's the best month. I have a gift idea for you that I came up with that I think is just poggers. This is going to be the last year of my 20s. Ooh, really? Yeah, I'm turning 29. It's finally going to happen.

Did you know that people who are... People who were born in 2003 can drink. Like, it's just, man, like, the world is just, it's a time. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that, too. I hate that. I hate that way more than you do.

To celebrate my special month and nobody else is. Oh, okay. All right. Happy people. birthday. Jesus. We're going to take a page, metaphorically and literally,

out of something that I like to do, which is talk about the thing that I probably have the most, how you would you say, passion for? Oh, so we're doing a sister's feet episode. I knew you would only take like half a second before. Yep, yep, sorry.

Go ahead. What are we actually doing? We're actually, so, okay, I mean, if it's not sisters, which other faction would it be? I'd be the guard. Oh, okay, good choice. I was going to go Chaos Space Marines. Wow, really? Oh, well, yeah, I guess because Night Lords, yeah.

Yeah, I don't know, it's hard. Sisters, Guard, and Night Lords, they're all like equivalent. It's really tough to pick. That would have been a good one too, shy. I should have said, oh, yeah, we're mommy-doming him in our V-tuber-Avatar forms. That would be a good one, too, yeah. The hell you mean we? You are not part of that club?

Not even Shai's part of that club Well no no no but your thing these days Is getting mommy domed by V-tubers No I did not choose this For your birthday it's like oh let's make Bricky feel right back at home And like we'll put on our V-tube avatars and just like bully you Because you know that's that's your thing now right God damn it

God damn DK I just wanted to pull out this wonderful chaos space marine codex And talk about the chaos space marine codex In the classic Bricky talks about the cool things that it's a he's pulling his cock out he's pulling out he's pulling out I'm taking I'm taking the goddamn

I'm taking the goddamn codex and we're doing a brickie talks about the codex and the things in the codex and the lore in the codex thing episode oh man my guesses are so close God I'm so close on both accounts

damn it I wanted to talk about this because for the most part back in like ninth edition and stuff, I would have to do an episode like the new something codex came out. Let's talk about the interesting new lore in it. I did the Necron one and they had

those really fascinating glimpses of like the Silent King and stuff like that. Now, as I was going through the Chaos Space Marine Codex and I was reading this whole thing out, I was like, okay, there's like not really anything interesting in here. Because games workshop has slowly slowly made their codexes worse.

Because there's only four people working on them. Pretty much. All right. So back in the day, we're talking fifth through seventh edition. Now, I played in seventh is when I started, but that was a while ago. And I only played for a little bit. But that's when I first got into the game. My first army was gray nights. I still have a couple of them here.

They're painted horribly. Very funny to look at sometimes. I feel very proud of my current self when you look at your first couple of minis, the usual. I was going to say, yeah, the first set of minis usually is just like the benchmark, right? Seventh edition, there are going to be, hey, listen, to our fans, I love that you guys are nostalgic

for the old days, but every time I used a drop pod and I rolled scattered dice, and my drop pod accidentally landed on an enemy unit and killed my entire force in the drop pod because that's what 40K was like back then. I don't love it anymore. Your drop pod lands on an enemy and your drop pod just gets destroyed with everything in it, not like the enemy getting smushed because, you know, it's a drop pod. So back in the day, when you would roll like reinforcements or something, like a teleport or whatever, you would pick a point on the field and then you would roll something called scatter dice, which would be a number and a direction.

And then it would be like, okay, you have to move this many inches in that direction because of warp fluctuations or. or whatever the reason. With old 40K sacrificed gameplay for fun lore stories. Oh, so it was much more narrative than it was gameplay. It was extremely more narrative. And a lot of people miss that. And I can appreciate that. I think one of my biggest issues with 10th edition is that it became a little bit too game and not like...

narrative enough. There's not enough lore driven reason to do stuff. Yeah, which is actually the reason why I like the CSM codex so much because I think they do a better

job with it. But back in eighth is kind of when, you know, back in like seventh edition, they had some cool things that had like this funny ice cream cone

looking template you would use. And that would be when you would fire flamers. So it's like a torrent like flamer cylinder that you would fire out and every enemy that was underneath it

would get hit by it. It was very complicated and complex, but it was, it was narrative, you know? Yeah. Eighth edition is when the game started to, a massive rules rewrite. And while it was still not a very balanced game, it was way better than before. Okay, okay. And could actually be learned by people without like a degree.

But with time, the codexes have actually gotten smaller in general size. The large, like, when you had your code. is back in the day. It was about 80% lore and art and about 20% rules. Ooh, I like that. I like that ratio. Same. Loved it.

Loved it to death. I thought it was awesome. Was really like the lore for the game, obviously they had the books and stuff. But outside of the books, this is kind of where you got your faction lore was the codex. Okay. Okay. Eighth edition, like late eighth and also early ninth. were the two times where they had generally, in my opinion,

the best ratio for codexes. There was a ton of brand new artwork. They furthered the story. They furthered the characters. They had factions. I vividly remember all of that amazing like Sisters of Battle artwork of them looking like disgusting and just awful. That was like ninth edition codex.

That's where they really came into their own with, I think, ton of great art and like lore and just but now personally oh go ahead oh i was i was just going to ask how often do you get like new codexes like is it just every addition like chaos space screens will get a new codex that needs like new lore new art new rules correct uh shi you want to read what Shai said. Shai said, LMA, one of the reasons why fantasy died,

factions would get codex like once every seven months. Some factions never even got last eighth edition codex before end times and game got wiped. That sounds about right. I also assume they didn't

get any general rules updates along with it. Because at least, even though Games Workshop does not update the rules nearly as much as they should, they only do it like every three to six months,

they still do it, which is enough of a difference. Yeah. Seven months. Yeah. So there are like some factions right now. Like it's been about a year since 10th edition started. And some factions got their codexes like CSM just got theirs.

Costode's got theirs. Orcs got theirs. But like Sisters is coming up, I think, in two weeks. Guard. Now we're in sight yet for Guard. No world eaters. No death guard. Like just like they'll be there eventually.

In 10 edition. coming out just almost in time for your big for your big day. By my birthday. Yeah, you're right. For your big day almost. It's close. Damn, maybe they'll have some foot artwork in there for you. Why are you the way that you are? I don't know. Okay. I wish I could tell you. I really do. It would solve so many issues with my life if I could tell you why it was the way that I was. That being said, with the 10th edition codexes, they have really started to run away with not putting any new lore.

an art in it. Oh, no. It's been getting way thinner all of these books. Eighth was a brand new system. They totally changed the game. Ninth changed the game again, but they just, like, fixed a lot of the tweaks and made a lot of adjustments,

and don't get me wrong, and it still had problems, but it was way better. And then COVID boom, blast, blast off. Everyone started making minis. Huge thing, right? Mm-hmm. But

Now We've gone to the point where Like digital rules, man You These this game changes too often for you to be still spending half of your codecs Putting rules that are going to change You know, Like it just becomes a gigantic paperweight

And so if you're going to buy And you get a new one every year Right. If you're going to buy these like $60 books Oh You're like $60? dollars for the codex? I guess they're pretty big codexes though

and they're full of art and so I guess yeah. No, but they're not full of art anymore but they're not. That's the problem. They have some but they have like half of what ninth edition had. In this CSM book, this is chaos

space marines, it is arguably the second thickest book that will ever be released because it is chaos space marines. It's a space marine thing. Even if it's a, It's still a space marine thing. It's going to be big.

There are only 51. Hold on. 45 pages in here dedicated to lore and art. 45 pages of the $60 book that are dedicated to lore and art. And then... How many total pages? 52. 159.

Oh, so not even half. No, barely a third. Ouch. A third of this book is dedicated to rules, army painting, and data sheets that will most likely change. So they're not even just copy and pasting the lore and the art from previous ones and just putting it into like new codex rules. They are actively taking stuff out of previous codexes. thinning it out and then putting more rules in. Don't worry.

They're still copy pasting it. They're just thinning it out at the same time. Ouch. So what makes me upset is when I buy this book in order to get some cool lore stuff for an episode, I realize that there really isn't any. There's a little blurb about a black legionary going and murdering some guardsmen and laughing his ass off about it, which is great. Well, he should.

He's a chaos space marine. Why, of course he's going to kill some guard. Yeah, I'm sure he has a wonderful time, but that's nothing new. There's a great little sequence with Vashdor that kind of doesn't really further his plot, but kind of talks about what he's been up to. He's in the webway with Wormwood, the giant planet, and he is being a huge menace because the Imperials cannot track him quick enough because he's in the webway. And so he shows up the door to use his fancy new key on.

Yep. Yep, he's looking for the lock. So he shows up to an imperial world, murders the hell out of it, and by the time the imperial reinforcements arrive, he's already gone. What a Chad. Pretty good stuff. Even the Eldar are like having a hard time tracking him because he's doing Webway and warp shenanigans at the same time.

Not even their binoculars will help. Again, with the farseer jokes. Yep. There is. Scratch that off on your bingo card. So like, you know, for the most part when you, when you go into a codex, you see there's a page about demon engines and they tell you about demon engines and a page about the alpha legion they tell you about the alpha legion there is i will give them some a credit for this

there is a very neat little uh section of the there really isn't much lore in this code which is very unfortunate because we've talked with poor hammer podcast a bit about this but the idea of like make your codexes fancy art books give them a code in there that allows you to like get the app that allows you to like get the rules for the app. Yeah. But after that, you know, like, do the, do the rules digitally. Like, it's just how it should be. That is such a good idea, by the way, like, turn the codex into like a giant art lore book. And it's like, oh, hey, on like the first page, it's like, here's, here's a QR code. It takes you to the website, here are all the rules. That's, that is a much better idea. And I think they'd probably sell more

codices that way, honestly. Because if there was like a thousand, and sons codex or it was just like oh yeah it's just a giant book of magnus aryman t sun zangor whatever art and just a bucket load of their lore i'd buy that in a heartbeat and i'm just oh yeah if i want to learn the rules i can just QR code that thing and go on the internet and get it dude i would like if that was 80 bucks i'd no question by it i i generally think that the it's i know there's a whole we could spend an entire episode talking about this but i i did want to talk about the important thing here, which is translation of game, of lore to game. Oh, okay.

Okay, cool. Because they do have a bunch of that, and it is cool when they do it, when they really like translate the lore into like a unit power or like a field thing or something. It is always really cool when you tell me about that stuff. And so just recently, for example, the custodian codex came out. and it is the worst codex I have ever seen. You said that, yeah. I've heard you say that.

I have, like, in all of, I'm not counting seventh, and all of eighth, ninth, and tenth edition is the worst codex I have ever seen. It has barely any lore. It's uninteresting. It had four detachments. One of them doesn't not even, so basically what happens is that the game,

when you play a faction, you get a detachment. And attachment gives you a rule, some special abilities called stratagems, and some enhancements, which are fancy things you put on characters. Okay. And so if you were to say, run, like, for example, in this book, we have the Veterans of the Long War detachment, which is the Black Legion detachment. So you can use your special ability, let the galaxy burn.

You can put your enhancement eye of Abidon. And then your special ability is like a version of the Space Marines ability, where you pick a focus of hatred and you give benefits against them. Okay. The custodian one, normally you always got six. The custodies got four. And one of them was only for Sisters of Silence, which is literally one kit. So they only got three and they suck. Oh.

Wow. So it's just awful. It's just genuinely like the worst codex ever. And then they drop this bitch, which is like the coolest thing I've ever seen. and is the best rules to lore combination and effectiveness I have seen in the entirety of 10th edition. Oh. Custodians got four attachments. This one's got eight.

Oh, that's beefy in comparison. You're only, normally you only had six. And so this one has eight and they're awesome. Oh, man. So custodians players are proper pissed at this point. then because they're like we got basically three and then the next one with chaos space they get eight the custodian also the three they got are also still bad yeah oh yeah they're all still awful and it's like these guys get eight and then they must be like seething molding and just and i don't know if i could

necessarily say i blame them honest to honest to god life is just terrible as a custodian player right now because if you're like a normal human being and you just don't really care about the drunk and discourse and you just wanted to play your custodians. Not only is you're the entirety of your factions surrounded by annoying like like people still talking about it on the internet, but also have a terrible ass. Yeah. Life is just like custodian players, thank God that the army is cheap because you can go find a new one.

I was going to say at that point, you just stop being a custodians player, right? And you're just like, oh, what's my favorite chaos space serene faction or oh, what's my favorite like uh yeah just go find anything else yeah you put it on the shelf for a little bit but anywho so the factions that you get in csm codex are the veterans the long war which are uh they they don't actually give like the title they just give it like a like a faux name um which is black legion uh you have deceptors which is can you guess it sounds like an alpha legion thing correct uh you get Renegade Raiders, which is Heron Blackheart and the Red Corsairs.

Oh, love that. You get the Dread Talons. You can probably guess that one. Dread, dread fear. Yes, of course I can. That's the Night Lords, I suppose. Yes, correct. You have the Fellhammer Siege host.

The Fellhammer Siege. So that's got to be, uh, uh-oh. I'm going to say either Iron Hand or I'm iron fist because I keep mixing them up. I'm going to say the hand. Okay, iron hand is a loyalist. Iron fist does not exist.

Oh, really? It's iron warriors. Ah! God damn. Oh, no. Woof. Oh, no. Can you tell me which one

pack-bound zealots could be? Oh, no. I'm still reeling psychically from what just happened. so could you just give me a minute and just say what the next ones are, please? Sure. Pack-bound zealots is word bears. And Chaos Cult is also a funny new one they decided to make, which is entirely about running nothing but cultists.

Oh, that's pretty great, actually. So for the most part, the Chaos Cult one is kind of a meme. They often put like a meme faction in these for just like, you know what? You want to run something wacky. You want to run like nothing but cultists. Here's your little cultist attachment. That's what the meme one is. Someone's going to run it.

Someone's going to figure out a way to run it. Even if it's like a meme thing. Ooh. Oh, damn. These new cultist minis are real sick. What the? Okay, those are actually like insanely sick though. Yeah.

Like all of them. Like there's not like a bad mini in the bun. Yeah, so, yeah, I really like, I really, really, really like the new accursed cultists. They are the ones with all of the awesome, like, tormented mutations. Yeah, what's the one on the bottom left that Shai put? Is that them? They kind of look like the mages and stuff, and one of them's got a tentacle, and they've got, like, the big staffs and stuff. Oh, those are called the Dark Commune.

So in cultus In the cultist part of the codex There are three current data sheets or things There's the cultist mob Which are the top right They're your classic dude person cultists You've got the accurseded cultists Which are the bottom right

They are a mixture of things called torments And I forget the other ones Basically they're three big boys That are all mutated And then like six or five small boys those mutations are very cool though actually those are really dope those are really cool and those big minis the the oh wow the torments are so rad holy and so then you also have the a character leader group which is the dark commune which is the

bottom left it's a five-person cultist leader and they give like benefits to the cultist mob Oh, those are all so rad. Holy Jesus. So basically, I guess we'll start with the chaos cult because it's kind of mediocre. It's like a meme list. Sure. Basically, so the rule that you get for the rule that you get for cultists in this thing, or sorry, no, the cult is for chaos.

The chaos rule is called dark packs. It's my favorite rule in the entire game. I don't think anyone does it better besides like maybe. my miracle dice, but that's a sister's thing. Of course. Basically, before you shoot or fight, you can get a benefit to make your weapons better. If you do, though, you need to roll two dice

and you need to pass your leadership. If you don't, you take a bunch of damage. Ooh. Because you're basically asking the dark gods for help and they're, and like literally making a dark pact with the gods. So if you fail, the gods are just like, no, I hate you. Burn. And you just take a shitload of damage.

So regardless, you still get the benefits, whether you take damage or not. But you might, you know, like make a pact with the dark gods and try to shoot a bunch of guns. And then one of your dudes just like spontaneously explodes and dies because the gods are like, all right, we'll make a pact. But you're not going to like it. Your will wasn't strong enough. Okay. Okay, okay. So it could be a suicidal pact.

Sure, sure. It could be. And for example, like the chaos cult one says each time a damned unit from your army, which is the cultists, make a pact. They can also do it during the movement or charge phase or something. And that allows them to be able to, you know, whatever it's called. it allows them to move a certain like extra bit. It allows them to go faster or do stuff like that. For example, there are other things like and then like other cool enhancements,

which is the cultists brand, which is literally like arcane sigils you put on a dark apostle and the apostle like pushes the cultist forward. A funny one is called selfless demise, which is when an opponent attacks you in melee and your cultists then die, you roll a dice, and if you roll a six, they, like, cause problems to the enemy, I guess. Oh, okay. So it's, it's like a, it's like a death curse.

It's like a death curse. Yes, a death curse. Okay. You know, the more I'm hearing about these rules, the more I'm like, you know, if I actually played 40K, I might run these guys just because they sound hilarious and their minis look so dope.

So you say that, no. But, like, they're so cool. And they just, So you say that now. But as we get going, some of the other ones are really fascinating. Okay. So the Black Legion has veterans,

the long war. Basically, there's a rule that space marines get called oaths of moment where you pick one enemy unit and then your whole army gets full re-rolls to hit against it. Okay.

Which is really, really good. This is what they get in addition to the dark packs. So they literally are, you know, veterans of the, long war, which means they find an enemy and they're like, it's their focus of hatred is what they

call it. Very, very on brand, sure. And so it's just like, hey, you know, they will be the recipient of all of our damage. And so there's like, there's just things like that. And you get like the eye of Abidon enhancement, which gives you extra command points whenever you destroy your focus on hatred on a four up. Okay. I've never seen that before.

That's a dope symbol. Oh, yeah. The, the, the, the hourglass and it's just about running out on the, is that an Aquila? Yeah, and then the chaos one on the other side, right? Yeah. So they have other things. The Black Crusade is one of their stratagems. They have Let the Galaxy Burn.

I love that. Let the Galaxy Burn is such a great name for a Chaos Space Marine thing. Bringers of Despair. is a good one. So that one's fun. The Alpha Legion one? Oh my God. We do love a good Alpha Legion meme in this house.

We do appreciate Alpha Legion shenanigans. This might be the best version of lore to game they've done in 10th edition so far. Maybe it's tied with another CSM one. So they get sign. So when you play a game of 40K, there are two parts of the map that you deploy on. You put your army on those sides of the map. Some units have the ability called infiltrate,

and that allows you to place units in the middle part. Normally these are pretty good, because then you can get closer to the enemy, or you can already like... Objective, right? Or be on an objective, things like that. They have the ability masters of misdirection, which allows you to place up to three units of cultists and legionaire space marines in the center.

And let me tell, like each. So if you wanted to, you could stick a 20 blob of cultists and that annoying five-man leader unit three times and just like shove them in the front of the opponent. And make them deal with it. We were here the whole time. Because we're Alpha Legion. Because we're Alpha Legion. You just didn't know it. We're just sneaky bastards.

That is very fitting. I like that quite a bit. You can also put three Legionary units in there as well because there were three undercover space marine squads also there the whole time. Of course they were. They're Alpha Legion. Of course they were there the whole time. I do like that. That is great for the Alpha Legion.

So they've got a couple enhancements. One of them just makes it so that you can like attack characters in a unit when you normally can't. So it's like an assassin thing. One of them, okay, one of them is called Soul Link, which is super cool. Basically, you take a character and then you pick another character. They become a psycher and they get the abilities of the first character. Oh. Because they're both alfarious.

And they. And they project their consciousness onto another individual. Oh, wow. All right. That's pretty dope. I love the soul link. I love that. The best one, though, is falsehood.

It is a chaos lord. And when you set this unit up in the reserves, in the background. And then at any point during the reinforcement step of a movement phase, you can pick one of your Chaos Space Marine squad. and kill one of the guys in it and then place your lord in his stem because he was always there because we're all alfarious.

Oh, wow. And so one of the random guys is just like, I was Alfarious by the way. I was the major chaos lord. Here I am. Welcome to the party. You are right. That is probably the best, like,

lore to gameplay thing I've ever heard. It's so accurate and it's so fitting. And Alpha Legion eaten good. They're eating great. They are eating good in the neighborhood. Wow. How many people, are Alpha Legion a relatively popular faction to play for Chaos Space Marines?

Not really. Normally they require a lot of like tricksy stuff. Yeah. I'd say that after this though. Sure. I mean, they're not as like rare as like word bearers. is maybe. Shai does have a full

Alpha Legion army. So, yeah, but she's just kind of weird too. Like, you know. I have never

fought an Alpha Legion painted army in my time at tournaments, though I have fought a lot of CSM. Never. Well, I mean, like,

I've only fought one word bearer, you know, and they have a cool color scheme, you know? They do. They have one great ability, which is when an enemy vehicle dies,

normally you roll a dice and on a six, it blows up. You can use a stratagem to make it automatically blow up because you already sabotaged them and added explosives to their vehicle. I mean, why wouldn't you? Why wouldn't you? Why wouldn't you?

It's great stuff. It's really great stuff. It is. I like that quite a bit. Kind of makes me want some Alpha Legion, actually. Kind of makes me realize why Shy is like, oh yeah, I do have a full army of them, you know? Yeah, they are. They're quirky little guys. They're quirky little trickster guys. Yes, people do paint, like, actual, like, snake scales. on their Alpha Legion. I have no idea how they pull that off.

Well, that's like the people that paint Harlequins and are like, yes, let me paint these intricate checkerboards, you know? God, that's insane. That's insane. Yeah, that's wild. Holy Jesus. The Renegade Raiders detachment for Huron Blackheart is a lot of bikes. And it's very much your whole army gets the ability to move faster and still shoot. And also, if there's ever anyone on like an objective marker, you do more damage to them. because the whole point is like,

you're Huron. I hate taxes. I'm going to steal from the feds. Huron was made, poor Huron. He tried to do the right thing. He tried to do the right thing. Well.

Stupid Imperium. You know, I would have kind of assumed that, like, I don't know why, but I didn't expect him to be bikes. I almost expected, like, sort of an Eldar Zhukari,

like, skiff deal, where you got lots of skiffs and flyers roaming around and pirate ships and all that. I don't know why I didn't expect bikes for Huron. They're more of like a really fast kind of hidden run style thing. Their goal is to arrive, get the prize

and then kind of leave. So they're like chaos white scars almost. A little bit, a little bit. They're fun. You know, they have mostly like uninteresting, but their abilities are rather normal. It's like, go faster if someone was in the range of

objective marker, you can attack a character in it. You can disembark from a transports and stuff a little quicker, just general stuff like that. Yeah, pretty on the nose. All right. In a typical case of normal stuff, the dread talons attachment of the night lords is

not very good. Yeah, when is it? When is it? Yep, yep, that's the way it be. Unfortunately. I will say they do get a kind of neat rule which is terror descends. And I like I like their little blurb here, which is,

bedecked in the flayed skins and leering skulls of former victims, their armor flecked with blood and gore. These reavers descend in a howling gale of enraged screams and soul-piercing shrieks. To look upon their ghastly visages is to feel a terrible and paralyzing fear. Oh, wow. That is so fitting of a blurb for them. Holy jeez. So it's mostly just infantry as well as jump pack units, which is pretty classic, you know?

Sure. But the main thing is that in 10th edition, there's an ability called Battle Shock, which makes it so that when you get shocked, you cannot hold an objective. And you also cannot be used abilities and stuff like that on them. Okay. The only time you ever roll for a Battle Shock test is if you were under half your squad strength. So if you had a five-man squad, if you only had two left, you would start rolling for it.

For shock, right, right, right. Their ability is if you're within 12 inches of them, you have to roll it even if you're just under full. So five to four is enough. And you also have to roll it at another minus one. So that's pretty handy. That's kind of a, that's actually like a night lord dub, right?

That's huge. That's not bad. The issue is often that Battle Shock, it doesn't come up too often. It's very rare that actually is important. But for the most part, most people have like a six for their leadership. So you roll two dice and you just need to get higher than a six. It's not too hard. But you like minus one.

It goes to a seven. Like, okay. There's some stuff. Yeah. Though they have particularly fun abilities where like relentless terror lets them like fall back attack again. You've got warp-fueled thrusters, which allows them to fly into reality and like re-emerge. Okay, I love that. Love, love it when they use big jump packs for stupid jump-packy things. Love it. There's depthless cruelty, which is if someone's battle

shot, you increase the armor penetration against them. Pityless hunters, which does more damage against already scared people because they're night lords. You know, I, Say what you want about the rest of it, but God, GW are so good at, like, naming these abilities. Like, oh, my God, they're so good.

They're so on brand. They might not be the best abilities ever, but God, the names are so perfect. The Iron Warriors one, the Fellhammer Siege host, is at first look pretty insane, but then I realize,

so they have an ability where they become really tanky if you shoot at them because they're so iron within, iron fortitude. But unfortunately, it only works when you shoot at them and not in melee, which is unfortunate because

they could have really used that. Yeah, I was going to say, like, if the thing works against shooting, you'd think it should also work against melee. I mean, because, you know, if your shit's going to stop a bolt around, shouldn't it stop a chain sword? Right. So, unfortunate.

Like, I feel like it would change the entire thing, because for a lot of their abilities, they have like iron artifice, iron bound enmity. Yeah. They've got a great ability called pitiless cannonade, which is just like

murdering weak people, brutal attrition, siege craft, of course. Oh yeah, you gotta have a siege thing. And now our live chat is just everybody's saying siege because that's how it goes. You're all a bunch of lemmings.

Anyway, packed bound zealots is word bearers. This one's kind of neat. You, when you have an unit, you can give them a mark of a particular god and they get benefits based on that god. So if you're in corn, you have more powerful melee, but if you're in Slenesh, you get more attacks in melee. Zinich and Nurgle are shooting maced.

They've got a great ability called skin shift, which is a zinch one where you regain wounds. But if you're, so you regain wounds regularly. but if you're Zinch, one of your guys just like reanimates their body back together. Ooh, that's handy. Yeah, there's a... I also wouldn't have assumed that NERGEL would have been a shooting one. I would have, like, guess that NERGEL would have been like,

oh, yeah, here's like, maybe like an AEOE effect around certain unit, and if you're in the AOE, maybe it's like, oh, it's the pox of the... just spoiler or something, and it just, like, kind of debuffs people around you in, like, a certain radius. I wouldn't have assumed it was a shooty thing. So kind of.

They use shooting in this one because it gives you more shots. So you're spreading Nergel's sickness in a way. But you are not wrong. The enhancement is called the Orbs of Unlife, which is a hilarious name, which is at the end of the fight phase, you roll a dice for everyone near you. And if you roll high enough, you bestow upon them pox. Hey, look at me learning.

I picked that one out. Let's go. Let's go. Your strategy mobility is called festering miasma, which is basically just like they make them harder to shoot because of like a cloud of flies. Okay, okay. So when someone asked Nergel like, hey, what's the inhaler for? He can say it's for my asthma. That's all right.

That was fine. It was actually an old sarin joke that I used to use in the Warframe days. But I retooled it. God damn you. I retooled it for Warhammer. So the last one that we have, after the Chaos Cult one, is the only one that I think really compares with Deceptors as the Alpha Legion, which is Soul Forged Warp Pack.

Ooh. Let's go. This is Vashdor's detachment. They gave him a detachment, and it's actually the coolest thing ever. Bastor getting good? Let's go. Our wonderful little grimy oil boy is getting good? So unironically, yes, they made him better.

Let's go. Is he good? I don't know. No. Hey, baby steps, right? He's getting better. You know, you can't expect to leap tall mountains in one single, right? We're not Superman. As long as he's getting steadily better. That's the important part. So he's a bit tankier than he used to be in game. He has an ability where demon vehicle units near him increase the strength of their weapons by one, which is okay. It's not bam. His hammer bops people pretty hard now. It used to bop people worse. So that's good. Good, good. There is a, okay, this, the part is the funniest here is that there's a rule in 40K called hazardous. And you get this rule if you like overcharge your plasma gun or if you like go to the warp too harm. And basically what it is is if you're, you fire, let's say a plasma gun. And after you're done, you roll a dice.

And if it's a one, it blows up and kills you. Yeah. If you're a vehicle or a character, you take a bunch of damage because they don't want you just immediately blow up for a single one. Sure. If you are within 18 inches of Vashstorm and you shoot at him, all of your guns get the hazardous rule. Because he's reordering reality. Right. And that would totally be a thing that he could do.

Yes. So your guns might just blow up in your face. That's very handy. And how close do you have to be to Vash? Is it like a big radius? Like is it 18 inch range? This is pretty big. That's pretty big.

Okay. Okay. That's, hey, good for you, Vash. That sounds amazing. Now people are going to think twice about shooting you. So his detachment rule, though, is so cool. It's called Debt to the Soul Forge. Ooh, okay, okay.

Basically, every time a demon vehicle unit goes to make a pact with the gods, a dark pact, you can invoke your contract. And when you invoked your contract, you subtract one from the leadership test, making it a little higher of a chance of you hurting yourself. But if you do so, you either get way better shooting damage or more attacks in melee. Okay. Okay. Sounds good. So that's the point is that you can invoke your contract with Vash Store. And if you do, you have a higher chance of hurting yourself, but you get even more benefits.

That's pretty cool. And that's very lore accurate, too, because you do have to kind of sign that contract with him. you know, that's okay, okay, okay. So there are some fun ones like tempting addendum, which is whenever if they're near you and you fail the result of your pact, you add an extra damage to the amount of damage you take, but you get even more benefits. So it's classic like mafia boss stuff where it's like, hey, I'll give you even more power, but you know, just, you know,

minus one to the more damage if you fuck it up. So Vashdor, it sounds like these detachments are a lot of high risk, high reward, though. It's like you risk taking a lot more damage, but at the other end, you will deal a lot more damage. So it's kind of like you kind of got to weigh the pros and the cons in the situation and see if you really want to do that. Exactly. And also, they have ways to like mix it around because you might get the ability glut of souls, which is for every model you kill in melee on a five up, you can regenerate some of the damage you took, which helps you if you keep invoking your contract.

Oh, so you can like invoke your contract and then do that glut thing and then just like regent anything, any added damage you took from taking the initial contract? Depends on how many people you kill and if you roll your five ups. Okay, okay, I'm, I'm digging it. I'm digging these rules. They're very Vash-Tor-centric. Okay, okay. Yeah, desperate pledge is one of them.

There's feeding frenzy. One of my favorite ones is demonic possession, where you can pick any regular vehicle and turn it into a demon vehicle, which therefore allows you to then, like, get all the benefits of invoking your contract. Okay. But on a vehicle. But on a vehicle, like, so these are all demon vehicles. So these are like forge fiends and venom crawlers and things like that. Um, you can invoke your con or you can become like a demon land raider, something that's normally not a demon land rate. Yeah, that, that, that's, that seems really good. It's, I like the sound of that. That sounds like Vashdor is, you know, people are going to start thinking, hey, I can finally use this guy. It's not all trash. There's some, there's some big, there's some big ups, you know, there's, there's risk, there's big reward. Hey, it's adric fans, start playing Vash Tor. We want to see an uptick in Vash Tor. But I, I wanted, I wanted, I was. wanted to look and point some of this stuff

out because it's just, it's just damn neat. It's nice to have a good codex rich. It's nice to have a good codex that I and I'm like, I want to look at this because I'm chaos pilled and I'm Vash store pilled, but I want to, I wanted to look at this and be like, my God,

this beautiful, this beautiful book could use so much more lore and you could do so much better with your online rules and all this kind of stuff. But please, more of this this is such a cool mixture I like how it started out with it

you were like my god this is so cool and then it kind of just devolved back into your normal tone of voice like you started out with the mammanacia my god oh the word bears oh no oh my god oh my god I want a more of this like it was so good it turned this man Italian this guy this codex right here was so good

it made me crave the marinara. There's a certain level of like hope because I know GW doesn't watch our videos, but there's a little part of me that's like, please God, more like this, please, anything other than what the custodians got, but please God more like this because you did it, you meet the attachment minimum of six, and that's great and they're fun and they're fluffy, and they mix the things they're supposed to mix. And even the ones that aren't good, like the night lord's ones, still feel like night lords.

Yeah, they sound like night lords, they feel like night lords. So if you have a bad codex right now, how long do you have to wait for another one? Is it like, is there a new addition, like what, every three years, one year? How long are we talking? Pretty much three years. Oh, so custodians fans are. Oh, yeah, you might as well buy a different army right now. Yeah, I was going to say, like, just get something else, do anything.

Hey, get the ash door. Huh? I mean, if you're going to, like, clearly, I mean, like, this is all if you plan on actually going out and playing with a bunch of people and stuff who actually take it somewhat seriously. Yeah, you don't have to go meta-chasing with your buddies. If you're just like having a fun little like, oh yeah, let's have a 12 pack of bruskees and just play a little warhammer. Play whatever the fuck you want, but yeah. Yeah, and obviously, like, this won't matter as much to you if you're fighting against someone who's just like kind of chilling as well. You are.

But God damn, does it like feel bad? Because the rules don't match or match what you want custodians to be. This one for CSM, these rules could be bad and the army could not be just like good at all. But they feel fun. And that's what matters. It feels right. It sounds like even, even me, I don't play the tabletop. And I don't really know anything about the tabletop.

But those sounded right. Those sounded good. They sounded like, hey, I get that. As someone that, like, knows scattered bits, I don't want to say I know a lot about the lore because I said iron hands and iron fist earlier. But like, it sounds right. It sounds like it belongs.

It's like, yeah, that's what they should be doing. And I don't know Jack about it. So, you know, success. Success. Times. Times. Yeah. All right.

I want to talk. We don't do tabletop stuff very often. And so I wanted to get that part of me out there. and express my feelings because, God damn it, more of this. Anyway, that's all I got. To be honest, though,

I do appreciate some table top stuff getting added because I'm painting thousand sons and I'm like, if I get a full army of this, like, if I have it, I might want to learn how to like use it and having like maybe a little primer episodes here and there's

not a bad thing. That's true. That's true. All right. That's all I got. Wait a minute. Brand new sisters, Minnie. What?