Adeptus Ridiculous - COMMORRAGH: THE DARK CITY NEVER SLEEPS | Warhammer 40k Lore

Episode Date: March 6, 2024

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Welcome everyone to another episode of the Adeptus Ridiculous Podcast. My name is D.K. Diamante's. His name is Bricky, and you know why you're here. But before we get into all that, if you enjoy today's episode of the podcast and you maybe want to support us, head over to patreon.com slash adeptus Ridiculous. We can get access to our Discord, bloopers if they happen. The $15 tier gets you access to all of our posters in Krispy HD digital format. Support the podcast today at patreon.com slash Adeptus Ridiculous.

has things. Burkey has things. You know, you can buy merch at Orcadate.com. It's in the description. Read Warboss. We're going to have that book club probably later this week. All good stuff. Anyway, DK, how you doing?

How you doing? I'm great. How are you? I'm doing good. We are recording this episode like five days early. Wow. Why? Because you're going somewhere, Dingus.

What? Me? Leaving the house? Where are you going? Anyway. My brother got me tickets to go see my favorite hockey team because they only come to California like once a year. Ooh, where you? The New Jersey Devils are going to be playing the Los Angeles Kings at the Crypto.com arena.

Don't you dare call it the crypto. That is the Staples Center. No, it's the Staples Center. I refuse to allow them to do that to me. It's the Staples Center. It will stay the Staples Center. No Los Angeles cringe will stop it from being the Staples Center. Well, they couldn't afford it anymore.

Shy here is malding because she didn't because she refunded hell divers and then got mad when we didn't play with her because she refunded hell divers. Yeah, yeah. We offered, didn't we offer to play with her on at a something, whatever, if she got it? There is everyone. That is not true. She is gaslighting both of us. I'm smelling it.

I smell gas. Turn off the pilot light, Bricky. Don't turn on the pilot light. She has specifically turned off the carbon monoxide detectors in my house. I am getting a headache. Bricky, get out of there. Bricky, get out of there. Goodness gracious.

Anyway. So, yeah, we had to record a little early because my brother got me a super cool, belated birthday present to see my favorite hockey team in L.A. So that's where I am right now. Yeah, and that's also why we are doing an episode kind of randomly and just a little off the cuff today, but thought it'd be kind of a fun thing to do. You ready for your quote, D.K.? Can my birthday present from you be not having a quote? What day is your birthday?

I like I would tell the internet. Why wouldn't you? Oh, that's February 16th. Wait, it was 12 days ago? Yeah, it was a while ago. I guess it was almost two weeks ago now, yeah. You didn't say anything. Well, you didn't even mention it.

I mentioned it in passing. Happy birthday, D.K., here's an orbital 380 millimeter H.E. explosive attack. Oh, no. Oh, no. No. All right, you ready? Yeah, I'm ready. All right.

My escape was miraculous. The emperor must ever want. awarded my undying faith in those times. However, though I am physically free, my body bears the scars, the many, many scars. Every breath takes me to a new plane of agony. Every heart bait, damn it, every heartbeat sets my jagged nerves with writhing pain. I cannot see, I cannot speak. Most horrid of all, I cannot forget.

Nightmares and whiking visions plague me, the drip of my own blood, the crumbed. eyes of anguish, haunt me. No one escapes the dark city. Whoa. Whoa. All right. So this poor sap is not in a good

place. It kind of sounded like it, because at the beginning was like, oh, I'm free and whatever. And then Dark City, Dark City reminds me of Camerog, the Dark Eldar place. So, but it sounds like he's

psychosuffering visions. bleeding. I don't, I don't, I don't know. I don't, I never understand your ability to like get it and then second guess yourself and then like undo it. Oh, so what is it? Like, you literally picked the correct answer and then you're like, well, it can't be that. Camerog? It's like, is it?

Is it really? Yeah. Oh, well, hey, I'm going to say I got that because why not? Hey, listen, all right. So we had a short time frame to get to this episode dumb. And we said, and shy was like, all right, we had we had someone, either a viewer or a patron show like each faction of 40K. And when was the last time we talked about it? By the longest margin, the faction we have not spoken of in the longest time is the dark Eldar all the way back in December 2021.

He won. It's been that long? It's been that long. Whoa. I was genuinely shocked. I mean, we've talked about them in passing. It's been almost three years?

Well, not quite, but no, it's like two years and two change. Yeah. But I was like, wow, that was so long ago, genuinely shook. So, you know, I did what I normally do with research, which is completely copying everything from Luton. No, but ironically, I think for the Rogue Trader game, he did make a video. So it was neat stuff there. But yeah, like, you know, we got a lot of Comerog kind of shenanigans here and there.

And we've talked about the city pretty constantly because of just craziness. It's a labyrinth. It's just unknowable. I mean, that and the fact that it is basically where all Dark Eldar live, like the entire faction basically. just lives there. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is quite the rarity in a star-spanning galaxy kind of thing. Yeah, that an entire race lives in one confined hellscape, as it were. So because of that, it's very neat to talk about as a product where, you know, you have

the emperor on Terra, but Terra is just the home planet where Comorab basically is all of them. So, Kamara, Kamara. It's not a great place. From what I hear, it is not swell. It's just like most art I've seen depicted of it is like the one that Chai posted where it just looks like all of these like interconnecting spires that are crossing over each other. And it's just awful. It just looks like a horrible place to be. It is a horrible place to be. And arguably it's a horrible place to be both for its denizens and for its everyone else. And, you know, if it wasn't bad enough to already be a horrible place to be, it's filled with arguably the most horrible faction in the galaxy. Yeah, you don't want to be a POW getting sent off to Camerog. You don't.

You just don't want to be in Camerog in general. Period. Even the Dark El Dor probably kind of don't want to be there, yeah. They do and they don't. the same kind of enjoyment you would get in a pirate haven because for the most part, Dark El-Dar are pirates. They embody the whole big, important port city. They trade money and life as if it was wine and pain as well. But of course, for a bit of a refresher for some of our viewers, Dark El-Dar, are the ones the most depraved of the Eldar before the fall. And they had the...

their special uber-depraved sanctuary city in the webway. And when Slanesh was birthed, they were kind of safe in the webway. Kind of, yeah. Kind of. Slenish still owns their soul in a way. But it's very light touch. They don't just like get snagged. So they have found that a really good way to stave off,

she who thirsts, is to do the things that she loves. and also to, they have found a lovely way to drain the souls of people to enhance their life and live forever. The homunculus do that, right? Or is it

just any of them? No, homunculus modify them. They like augment the dark Eldar, right? You're correct on both. The homunculus are flesh crafters, which is just a phrase that has all kinds

of meaning. Yeah. But the homunculus often strike deals with large amounts of the Dark Eldar to take like a finger or something and then reclone them from that part of their body to make sure

that even if they die, they don't actually die. Yeah. Gotcha. Which is, and so packs of that kind of stuff. Yeah. And the Dark Eldar are the ones that they really leaned in the depravity and the craft worlds are the ones

that are like, guys, this is like, uh-uh. We got a dip. Like, this is, this is the wrong way to go. Dark Eldar take a, take up a very interesting niche in the overarching world of Warhammer, where every single society kind of broke down and became a, like a, not necessarily deprae, but like a shadow of its former self. The imperiums blow to the necrons coming back, but like kind of infighting, etc. Dark El Dar are kind of the same from what they used to be.

Yeah. They just got more into it. Yeah, they just really leaned into all that stuff that like birthed Slanesh, right? They just kept on going, kept on getting more and more extreme. And then it was like, oh, hey, this, this, this depravity that we really leaned into sustains us, makes us nigh immortal and keep Slanesh off our back. Well, let's drink up. And, yeah, it's, well, Shia makes an interesting statement here. It says, in the book, the big DACA, there are sections written from a dark Eldar perspective,

and they talk about how no Eldar, even Dark Eldar, is born scum? You mean, like, they're born as scum, or they're not worse? Like, as a scumb bag or something. Like, there's no Dark Eldar that's, like, born innately bad and evil and, massacistic or whatever, right? So when they're kids and their parents have to teach them how to torture, mutilate slaves, it isn't fun for the kids.

Oh, it's just no fun for anyone. So they kind of do the thing where like, well, kids are evil, but they do kind of the thing where kids, in a sense, are not evil. Because... Right, like no one's born evil.

You have to be taught evil, right? Right. Which is actually an interesting kind of perspective there, that they're not born that way. guess it makes sense. Well, I mean, every baby is kind of just a blank slate for how your parents want to raise you, right? Yeah.

Like every child is kind of just a blank slate that, you know, you have to mold into a good person because you teach them, right? So, so obviously, Kamarag itself is a city that lies in the Webway, which is one of the reasons why it's such a difficult city to assail. To get to, one to get to, because you need a Webway portal. and then to assail, like, fight because... Oh, yeah. Like, it's, one, getting to the webway as hard enough as it is, and then navigating the webway

is even harder. And then fighting a fight against people who are born understanding the weirdness of their webway is just like, but how do you fight that? Yeah, that's their stronghold, too. Like, not only is it hard to get there, not only is it hard to try... That's their stronghold. That's their most heavily fortified position. So, like, once you get over the fact that, oh, hey, we finally figured out how to get here,

it's like, well, you better have a big force that can get there because that is home base. So, yeah, that's not a pretty proposition. Not to say that there haven't been people who have attacked Kamarag in the past. In fact, the orcs, well, yeah, the orcs clearly have not just in the recent book, but have been in Comerog multiple times before because they just kind of I mean often I think the orcs just kind of show up and they're like oh cool

well that's true the orcs probably would get a kick out of it because wow this is this is a good scrap roydie right oh yeah or sometimes it's the weird the weird like

political adjustments made by the actual leaders of the dark elder themselves For example, the head of Comerog, the supreme leader, is supreme overlord as Drabeil Vect, who has been considered dead multiple times and has never been. And he himself has taken over Comerog as a massive military dictatorship by tricking the salamanders to have a giant imperial force enter Comorah, basically kill all of his rivals, and then take power himself. self. Wow. All right. Well, that does sound like a very dark Eldar way to gain power.

Yeah, sure, sure. Hey, big brain move got him in the throne. So I guess no. Yeah, that's a, sure. There's a, oh, God, I forgot about the old mini with the fucking pimps slaves on the, on the boat. Oh, that's, that's, is that like, uh, they're trying a little, uh, Star Wars shindig there when they've got to and the pseudo gold bikinis and the skiff and the, yeah. Yeah, it's the olden times, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, gotcha. Here's a long, long quote that might be interesting. Camarag is a city like no other in the universe.

It exists outside space and time in the unknowable depths of the Sea of Souls, the realm beyond our realm that idiot savants argue gave birth to all we know. Kamarag's makers, or rather architects, as they would claim, did not fashion the city as one place. Rather, each of them used ways unimaginable to lesser beings to fashion their own secret enclaves out of the immaterial realm to serve as fortress, sanctum, pleasure palace, or arena, according to their whim.

In time, the hubris of these architects grew so great that they created something that breached the very walls between realms. As all crash into ruins, they fled to their enclaves like rats into their holes. In time, as they grew ever more, fearful of the dreadful child they had stirred together. Those that survived, the tempest strove to connect their realms. So steeped in torture and murder were they that they had no choice. They must do so to feed upon one another and whomever else they could bring beneath their hand.

And so the eternal city was born. This is an adept of the... What a quote. Good Lord. It's an adept of the Ordo Hereticus. So this is from a human perspective. Yeah, I would imagine. Yeah. Sheesh.

That's a quote and a half. Good Lord. That's like 14 episodes of quotes. It was a very long paragraph. But the dark city itself operates much like any kind of pirate scum haven where it's a mixture of dens and bars and back alleys all while the noble and high up like mercenaries stay in the twisted spooky spires that defy gravity. in between going into an unfathomable amount of gladiatorial pits to watch people get murdered in insane fashion for their spectacle. Oh, so all of the, all of the spires are for the higher ups. Well, it depends.

Well, it's like the whole area is like a, like a, you know, look at that picture that shy posted earlier. Like the spires point downwards as much as they point out there. Yeah, they're like everywhere. I was like there's that many like. Upper crust, Dark Eldar? It's, it's, they're everywhere. You can't comprehend how Kamara even works. Fair enough.

Yeah, there's the Webway. Like, it's not. Yeah, okay, okay. All right, fine, sure. If you remember well, in The Master of Mankind, the custodians at the end had the fight in the Webway. And even like, Arkandand, the scientist was like, I can't make sense of this.

I'm losing my mind. Oh yeah, and he turns into like a crying mass of like, oh my God, get me out of here, get me home, I need to get out of here. And yeah. Granted, he was also looking at demons for a while, so there's also that part. Yeah, sure, sure. But yeah, it's, it's a funky space. But, you know, let's say you're an Eldar raider. Perhaps you are under the service of the archons of the Kabbalite warriors, the classic Arc. The classic Dark El Dar fighting force. and your boss, the archon, maybe made a deal with the homunculus coven, and the homunculus wanted you to bring him exactly 4,000 human slaves to practice his new flesh crafting abilities.

So you load into your raiders and reavers, you exit the webway, a camarad through the webway, and you find some kind of human civilization that seems mostly unprotected or at least not able to respond to your speed in swiftness. which is probably a lot of them. You land, kill everyone who is in your way for the most part, steal as many possible slaves as you can, and completely disappear into the night like you were never there. Great. In response to this, the 4,000 human slaves get returned to the homunculi covens, and things happen to you that I can't even say on this channel because I got revenue.

I was going to say those 4,000 people that got taken are about to suffer quite literally a fate worse than death. Actually, a fate worse than death. Yeah, like, if a homunculus is going to experiment on you, like, you might prefer the sweet release of death. Now, maybe the homunculus was looking for a new sofa, so he will contort you into a sofa. Or a lampshade. Or a lampshade, perchance. Maybe a coat. He's wearing a skin coat in that picture right there. That's true. That's true.

Maybe you just scream a certain way he really likes. So he'll just hook you up to something and let you keep doing that. Oh, great. For as long as he wants, because he just likes it. Yeah, that does sound like a very dark, Eldar thing to do. Or worse, he could start contorting your flesh in very weird ways just trying to see how you react to whatever his thing is. Maybe he'll inject you with a few poisons just to see what it does to your body.

Maybe. It's not good. It's just not good. It's a nightmare. Hey, you know, he's really good friends with the Hecatrix blood brides, the succubuses. And he's like, hey, you know, I know you guys want something fun for your next gladiatorial show. So here's 20. You know, go to town.

Here are the strong ones. And, you know, see what they could have them, give them some spikes. and then send them against each other and make them kill each other for fun. That would probably be the least painful way to go, actually. It wouldn't suck as much as the other stuff. Yeah, because at least it would be over quicker than being a sofa for literally eternity

because they will keep you alive for as long as they can. Sometimes, if you just want to have even more fun, yeah, fun. Sometimes, you know, Dark Elder actually keep human pets. Oh, do they really? Really? Sometimes they keep them as like menials and slaves and they just like, you know, have them as serfs basically. Ones that they find fun, which, you know, fun isn't great.

Yeah, fun for a dark Eldar is not exactly what you want to hear. Like when you say pet, is it just like you follow them around and you've got like a collar and leash? Or like are they just like, oh, it's so much fun to do experiments on you and torture you. and and humiliate you in front of all of my L-DAR friends. Okay, the answer is yes to all of them, but, so this is one of those times, this is one of those times when I wish, I wish you knew the Emperor Text of Speech jokes

because he'd be like, Timothy, more wine. Oh, sorry, I don't, I don't know. Yeah, there's a, they made quite the interesting character in the emperor text of speech, which is Azrabele Vex, like, slave, and it looks like this. Oh, yeah, you've shown me Timothy before. Yeah, Timothy.

Okay. Yeah. It's a hard face to forget. It's a really hard face. Not even a mother would love that. Yeah. You've got the E.T. finger. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, but, like, you know, you might be that. And for some people, there's this, it's this weird thing where you would think that the humans who realize what's happening would just end their lives, right? Do their best to end their lives. But for the most part, it's actually not really like that. For the most part, the sheer, like, pure agony that goes on in your, in your brain, your mind, is a fuel to try to keep you to still, like, live.

Because the longer you can live, maybe you won't experience this again one day. Yeah, you've got that sort of hope that someone will rescue me. And even though I'm suffering horribly, you know, maybe one day this can be reversed or the Imperium will find me or someone will save me and I can finally know peace again. Right. And the Dark Els are feed on that hope. That's their breaded wine is the ability to have you still think that way and constantly show you that. you're wrong. Yeah, what's the saying? The worst thing that ever came out of Pandora's box

or the thing that was left over in Pandora's box was hope. And that was the worst thing you could inflict on mankind. I've never actually heard that before. It's something like that, something along those lines. It's probably not the exact one, but it's something like that. It's like the worst thing Pandora's box opening inflicted on the world was hope. What's this, Shai says, Comrog is wretched to such a degree in the big docker. They say that Life can get unbearable even for a rare Drukari who then will bail the city to join the Harlequins. Wow. I mean, Yvraine, you know, good old Yvraine was a dark Eldar witch.

She was a gladiatorial fighter. Oh, yeah, that's right. She was, wasn't she? Yeah, before she left. The city is like, it's unfathomable how much it will just grind you down. Yeah. I mean, it is a, it's, it's, it's the dark Eldar home port city. So if, if any place were to grind its citizenry down to that level,

Commerogs your huckleberry. But even, even the dark Eldar themselves are ground down by the city, by the needs of the archaunt of the homunculus, by Aztebel Vex, various shenanigans. Even if you're born there, you are not immune. from the city trying to just tear you apart. You are not immune to propaganda. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

And of course, because you're in the webway alone, how the city functions is natural to a Jukari who, as an Eldar, is already a lithe, incredibly fast individual who can understand this life. But there is, oh, quote, quote, let's go. The Sions of the Dark City would never admit that the unceasing hunger at their core is what drives them in such heights of cruelty.

Instead, they maintain that they act upon only their own desires. Some have even managed to convince themselves of this. In truth, unless our cousins in the Webway feed upon a constant diet of extreme emotion, they will slowly wither away, leaving naught but a soulless husk. We of the craft worlds deny all such urges, and in doing so become less than ourselves. perhaps it is those that we left to perish who are the lucky ones a little interesting

back and forth idea I disagree but you know I was going to say anything's got to be better than being stuck in Comerog and doing all that I would much rather go with a craft world if I was an elder I would much rather be on a craft world continent ship than you know

flaying humans and making them in the sofa chair, lampshade, screaming walls. Yeah, and, you know, the dark Eldar don't really discriminate when it comes to the heights of pain and agony they commit. They'll do it to each other just as much as they'll do it to everyone else. Oh, yeah. That's how the whole thing got started because they were doing it to themselves, and they were like, wow, this is great.

It would keep doing it. But then there's like, it's like the gang violence. issue where then you decide to torture up some Kabbalite warrior who's this one Arkon gang leader's like favorite fighter and next thing you know your gang is under siege by the other gang. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Need some barriers.

Then there are just like some of the weirdo things that exist in the dark city. Like mandrakes. Like the screaming plants? No. Oh. Like a half-naked dude Not those No

Mandrakes There's a quote which is There is a very good reason Why so many of the galaxy's cultures and societies Are afraid of the dark Oh Wow So that's a mandrake

Whoa They actually just got a new model Like, they reveal like a new brand new Manjerk, yeah, yeah, they did. That's a horror movie monster right there. These dudes are so cool looking. Their shawls, their waistcoats are all made of skin. Whoa.

Oh, those are so cool. Holy geez. They remind me of like, it's like the one dead by daylight reference I can make. Was it the, the Oni character that's kind of like that? Yeah, the Oni, yeah. Yeah, it's kind of that vibe where it's like this really twisted warrior that looks like maybe at one point they were honorable, but just the dark has twisted them into

a monstrosity. Ooh, those are so cool. So a man Drake is found in a place called Eilindrach. It's a part of Comerog that is literally fallen into pure shadow. it's several districts that exist in more than one dimension at once. So the shadows in this area thicken and move as if they're alive. So the Mandrakes are actually feared by the Drukari themselves because they can just pull themselves into a space-time region

by being in someone else's shadow. It's like that, you know what, I'm going to make an anime reference. It's like that Naruto character. I was about to say that. That's the one part of Naruthor. I did watch was the training part in like the first Shikamaru?

It's the only guy that passed, right? Shikamara? I don't know. I remember that guy, yeah. I don't know. I thought to pass that one exam, whatever thing, you had to fight in that tournament thing. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, that. Yeah, he passed that? I think he was the only one who passed it. Oh, I don't. I don't know. It's Naruto. Who cares? It's not important. It's really not. It's not important. Point being. Point being.

Point being. They're really scared. That's so cool, though. That, oh, man, now I want, now I want a Mandrake, like, 40K horror movie or horror series. Where it's just, like, some poor sap trying to get through the shadows, and it's just like, yeah. So the doing the bottom right, he's actually, like, what he's doing is he's actually casting himself in darkness. That's what that is. Sick. I thought that was just a cool cape. No, it's like a mini representation of him shrouding himself in darkness.

Oh, cool. That's so edgy. I love it. They also look like they would be great dark souls enemies, like, or like an Eldon Ring enemy or something. Yeah, I mean, actually, that's a good point. Especially in that picture, Shai just posted. That looks like an Eldon Ring boss portrait. So there's a quote, just when you're watching the ceiling, they come through the walls. If the things we fight ever run out of ways to surprise you, I expect it's because their most recent surprise finally did the job for good, some private.

But yeah, Man Drake specifically have the ability to steal and possess life energy and turning it into like a blue, white blast from their hands. So they can like actually suck up souls. And it's the, one of the edgiest things in the 40K, I suck up. Love it.

Souls and then fire it back at you as like a bail blast. And you say it's blue? It's like a blue white. Like a cold fire. Oh, so it's like I'm going to make another old. It's you, you, Hacosho's finger gun.

Yeah, I don't know about that one. But if you look at the minis, they're making it with their hands there. Oh, those are green. Yeah, those are very green. The bluish part is like the other section of it.

Okay, yeah. Okay, maybe that's not the finger. Yeah. You get the point. Point being is that they, they mandrakes themselves. have all those tattoos and stuff like ruins on them. They're like

kind of demonic and so sometimes those actually just be a totally blank face and then a face will just like arrive to stare at you. Like zin-sheen crap almost. Hell yeah. It's really weird. I love it.

I love I love. I know a lot of people like oh this is so edgy and cringe. Oh, I love it. I love that shit. It is extremely edgy. But that is the point. Yeah. I mean, they're Dark Elda.

That's, you're right. That is the point. It is actually the point. Like, this is the edgiest faction in the game. Yeah. It doesn't get much more eldier. It doesn't get much more edgy than the Drukari and the Dark Eldar. Yeah.

In fact, like most Dracari, they live and thrive on inflicting pain and terror. They're also really good at stealth because they literally blend in the shadow. Yeah. So, very often, some Drukari Archons that are either so high up in the world that they aren't scared to make these decisions or are just plain old stupid will hire Mandrakes to serve as part of their raid or cabal. Normally, Mandrakes will ask for their share of slaves. Oh, I was going to say, what the hell do you pay a Mandrake? Like, what exactly do they want slash need? Like, they're mandrakes.

Like, can't they just... They live in shadow. Like, you take whatever you want. So, ironically, the mandrakes... Right, they'll ask for slaves, but sometimes they'll ask for weird stuff. Oh, I bet. Well, they'll ask for, like, a heartbeat.

Or the voice of someone. Or a true name. Oh, that, yeah, that is weird stuff. Yeah, weird, like, ephemeral thing. It's like, like, like, the, the fear of this individual specifically, you know? And often no one denies their requests, because apparently, from what the wiki is telling me here, the flayed skin on their, their bottom half is actually of those that betrayed them. Oh.

So it's kind of a warning, like, don't screw with me. Who in their right mind would try to betray a mandrake? Why would you do that? Look at them. Yeah, I think of like a Drukari Archon, like top dog of a gang. Still, like just like, I don't care who you are. One look at these guys and it's like, okay, hey, whatever you want, whatever you need. Hey, no problem.

I would never even think of crossing you. No way, no how. It doesn't take a lot of sense. Yeah, but if you think of it like this, Drukari are just either, Drukari, especially arcons, are, you know, like when you're that high up, you think that the rules don't apply to you.

And I'm sure that there are mandrakes that have been betrayed and they've killed the mandrake. Like, this is the pirate city. They don't give a shit. True. This is Kamara, motherfucker. You get your weak ass back to Tara. Yeah, I.

I guess, but still, it feels like the mandrakes. I mean, I don't know this for a fact, but just hearing about them, it's just like, okay, like, sure, you know what, this is Tortuga, and, you know, we're pirates, and pirates fear no one, and oh, I'm the pirate king, the one piece is real, oh, sure. But it feels like there are still some unwritten rules where it's like, yeah, sure, but. Don't, don't fuck with the mandricks, huh? Don't do that. It still feels like even gangsters and mobsters and criminals have that sort of like, hey, there's still some lines you don't cross. And it feels like this is one of those lines. Sure, sure.

But then when like when your bodyguard is five of these guys, whoa. You care less. Whoa. Wow. Oh, what are those? Grotesques. Okay. Yeah, they call grotesques.

Sheesh. Yeah. Like when your bodyguards are those, like who cares, man? Well, I guess when you put it like that, fair enough. Maybe I'm just too overprotective of the edgy boys. I don't know, man. I just think they're too cool.

It's like you called someone, you called like someone a little bitch on like call a duty and or something. And they're like actually threatening to come to your house and kill you. But you're like, but you're like the president of the United States. I'm I actually scared? Am I genuinely frightens? Yeah, I guess. But, I mean, like, that,

I don't know. They wear people's skin as a, as a... Dude, every Zhukari wears skin. That's true. Every Jukari does that. That's their thing! That's literally every Chukari. You're right. You're right.

When you're right, you're right, you're right. You're right. Yeah, like, there are, yeah, there are specifically some, like, unwritten rules, you know, like, hey, This is the gang group. Like, don't touch those guys. You know, like, shy makes a good point.

In Comorah, there are, there are incubi. And incubi are the best-looking dark-eldar unit by a long margin. Because they're incubuses. Yes, the incubus is a super elite dark Eldar warrior, normally part of an Arkhan's personal bodyguard. These guys... So you don't mess with the incubusie? You don't...

Sorry, I could not help. I simply could not help it, dude. I am so sorry. Much like our good friend Vashtore. You don't really mess with him because the incubi don't really swear in allegiance to any specific group. They are just an overall mercenary. And so everyone wants to stay on their good side because they are just invaluable and helpful in God knows how many ways. And wow, they are very cool.

looking. Yeah, I'm sure you remember our good friend Drezar with the Drizip. Oh, yeah, Drizar and the DraZip. Sure, sure, sure. As we said, like, you know, he is the, uh, one of the highest and most famous incubi out there. Okay. Um, I thought Drizar was like leader

of Comrog for a while, wasn't he? No, it's Asdrabelled. Oh, okay. Though it is, if I'm not mistaken, it's assumed that Drizar was the old aspect warrior leader from, um, the uh, striking scorpions.

Right, right, right, and he gets kind of banished and something like that, right? As a whole thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I vaguely remember that from the last Ricari episode we did. Yeah, this is a crime city. This is Compton the third, you know, like, there are unwritten rules you tend to follow in here. And I mean, hell, it's so downtrots and, like, there are humans in Comerog, escaped slaves and stuff just living in the darkest, deepest dungeons trying to survive. And sometimes you'll run into the...

them. And then normally they'll try to kill you because they are trying to do their best to survive. And as we know, the downtrodden and the impoverish tend to fight each other more than they fight those above them. Yeah. I didn't realize they were like escaped humans that were living in like just some dank little pit in Comerog trying to survive. That's got to be awful. That has got to be the worst place for a human to try to survive. Like, oh man. Yeah, it's, you know, it happens. It's rare, but it happens. I mean, I guess it's better than, you know, being a homunculus experiment, but not by much. It is, you know, Camarag here doesn't have really rules.

And if there are some accidental things, like friendly fire, for example, they just make sure nobody knows. Yeah. No witnesses. All the while, of course, you know, homunculus will get, you know, an archerable. Khan will amass a massive amount of soldiers, weaponry, and other kinds of fun, exciting items, while the witches are out there getting as many things they can for their gladiatorial arenas as they could, and the homunculei are out there with their fun experiments in flesh crafting. But even the witch cults, you know, if I'm not mistaken, we talked about this in the prior

episode in apparently 2021. I do remember talking about the witch cults, yes. there were the one which I think it was the cursed blade the cult of the curse blade which if I'm not mistaken when you join the arena like parts of the arena are actually rigged booby trapped and stuff I mean that makes sense to make it more interesting well yeah so the excitement of possibly being one of the people in the stands of maybe being killed by the spikes beneath your chair that open up at some point is part of the exhilaration part of the exhilaration yeah because they're dark Eldar. They feed on that.

They love that. Great. Yeah. The acceleration. Love it. Those creepy shitters. Yeah. It's just a little creepy. Dark Elder, just a smidge on the creepy side. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And so you might wonder, like, does anyone ever try to get to Kamaraa that isn't a dark Eldar? And the answer is actually quite often yes. Wow, really? I mean, they're fools. They willingly try to get to... It's not like an orc thing

We're just like, oh, I showed up And it looks like a place for a good scrap. It's actual like, I don't know, like a Space Marine chapter is like, oh yeah, we actually want to get there And blow them up or something? Well, Space Marine chapters Maybe a little bit less so,

but Dukari are very often, you know, whispering all kinds of horrible secrets in everyone's ear. And maybe there's a mechanic Anichist exploratory vessel that really wants to find an STC. And they just carefully, just lightly enough, send them on the trail. The trail might lead to a portal. And then at this point, they're so deep into it, they go into the portal.

And next thing you know, your whole ship is trapped in Comerog, and you're about to await a terrible life. Oh, so when you say people willing, this is air quotes, willingly, but it's really the Drukari kind of trick them into. entering Kamara so they would be easy prey. Well, not quite also. It's both. There are people like rogue traders, for example, who believe that they are smarter than the Zhukari and can go to the port in search of fancy,

fancy high-level weaponry and trade for crazy shit from the Dark Eldar because hubris of humanity is a very big thing. Yeah, I don't suppose that has ever worked out in a rogue trader's favor. Well, sometimes it does. Oh, okay. It's just, so, like, the dark Eldar are all about themselves. Like, they will probably backstab you.

They will most likely trick you. They will do all these kinds of stuff. But if you are genuinely cunning enough and smart enough, you can, one, outsmart them. But, you know, sometimes the Jukari do honor their deals. because what they get out of it is just so much more important than what they lose. Okay, okay.

So they are willing to barter. They are willing to barter. If you have the right thing, if you have a prized enough thing that they want, they are more than willing to barter with you, and then chop your head off.

And then they will chop your head off, correct. Yeah, sure, sure. Not always, but I mean, I guess if you're like, oh, yeah, you know, I can get more of this stuff. They'd be like, oh, okay, well, all right, fine. They're not in, They're not insane. They're just...

Well, that's... They are insane. They're insane. They're insane. They're insane. But you can reason with them to some degree. You can absolutely reason with them. And even though they probably will try to betray you, whether the betrayal comes at the end or they, their betrayal ends up with you losing a lot of crew as slaves, it might not end up being the destruction of your ship.

Dukari are out for themselves and only their selves. If going out for themselves means striking a deal with humans, Voton, or whoever, or the craft worlds especially, they will do it. Just have your eyes in the back of your head at all times. Never let your guard down because it's, I mean, I imagine if you are going in and you're like, okay, we're going to make a, we're going to try to make a deal with the Dracari. Everybody's on high alert. Like, you can't just go in there, be like, oh yeah, this is going to be super cash. Like, you've got to be, like, sleeping with one eye open, eyes in the back of your head, right? There's no chance you go in there just willy-nilly to deal with the Dracari.

There's another emperor text of speech thing or something where they have to, like, go to Comerod for something. And there's a guy who's like, I assure you of we, the dark Eldar, will not try to betray you in any way. And it's like, uh-huh. Okay, yeah, sure. Yeah, that's very convincing. You can certainly trust us the dark Eldar. Yeah, fair enough, fair enough. It really depends on how you're able to navigate Kamarot.

I think there's the whole point with Asdra Bail's vex taking over of the Port City itself involves like capturing like a was like a forge hammer. salamander's spacecraft basically. And therefore, with that, they are able to bleed in the other Imperium to get the craft back, cause all this havoc, and then they leave when they get the craft back, and then in doing so, he took advantage of the power vacuum.

Okay. Would you like to read what shy posted? What D.K. needs to understand is that there's no political structure or primary agenda to the city. It's all gangs and everyone trying to get to the top, making temporary alliances, then backstabbing each other and falling apart. It's driven by both sadism, greed, and the fact that top-tier Jukari are literally immortal

thanks to deals with the homunculus covens, so they aren't afraid to take chances at power. Mm-hmm? Yeah, I guess, I don't know. I guess a part of me thought there was some sort of, like, I don't know, some sort of political structure, like there was some leadership or some higher. hierarchy too well. Ashtra Becht is the top dog big honcho man because

going against him is a bad idea. Yeah. That is basically your hierarchy. Right. He's just the biggest baddest guy and you shouldn't try to kill him. But essentially it's just a city with no rules, period. Pretty much.

Okay. Okay. No governing body. No police. No structure. It's just get power any way you can. I mean Pretty yeah Pretty much Okay okay okay

Okay I'm not sure why I thought there was some sort of power structure Other than just yeah I I will kill you if you try to take my stuff It is It is basically just Whose head honcho man Don't don't hurt it

Don't go against him Yeah Yeah he like shy said he's not the president He's just you know Your biggest crime ball Wait what's this bricking I can talk about the sons huh The suns? Yeah, Pricky.

What about the sons? You mean the various sons in the satellite realms? Yeah, Pricky. What about the suns? I just wonder. Is this the, wait, wait, is this like the generator that they used to power the city? Yeah, Chai. What is this?

The generator that used to power the city. You, you, you, you, you smell. There it is. The city itself is powered by Ilmea, or stolen sons. Before the fall, the Eldar brought stars from the materium into Webway sub-relms above Kamarog providing the city with a near endless supply of energy. This theft froze and killed the solar systems the suns were taken from, though the Eldar did not care.

Of course. Of course they didn't care. They just, yeah. Well, actually, that makes a lot of sense. That's literally what happens in the first five hours of Rogue Trader. That's literally the first thing that occurs. Stealing a sun? Yeah, didn't you play at least like the first act? I thought so?

The Dark El Dorr arrive and steal the sun. Oh. Well, what? Cool. What? Did you? I don't know if I got to that part. That's like so early.

Okay. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's cool. But it's great to know that they steal suns to power Kamarag. That's, that's fun. And it's like, oh yeah, did we just doom this solar system?

Whatever. Comrog needs it more. They don't get. Who cares. Did we just genocide this solar system? Whatever. Not the worst thing we've ever done. So like I mentioned before, we used to talk about the spires, right? There are places in Kamarag. Like there's high Kamara. High Kamara is a region that consists of the highest spires of the city, home to the elites of society. Arcons, famed warriors, high social status people, all of them with tons of Kabalite warriors. it's luxury and a, you know, big ruling class.

And so, for the most part, they love themselves and, hey, everyone below them, as do most, you know, high people, like people in high place do. They literally live in a place called High Comerog. Of course they think they're higher and more important than you. Sure. There's also something very important called Kane's Gate. Kane's Gate is a gate that goes directly into the realm of chaos. Oh. All right.

They have a portal that goes straight to chaos. They got a portal to the warp, buddy. Okay. That doesn't seem like a thing you should access a lot, but sure, I guess if you need to deal with chaos? Well, what if you need to, like, travel? Well. Like, the Eldar, if I'm not mistaken, still use warp travel.

True. True, I guess you kind of, yeah. Well, no, they use Webway travel. Never mind. I'm sorry. They use Webway. travel but like yeah you have your gate you know you have your gate with the webway and stuff and so often a lot of like harlequin troops are there in order to you know make sure that demons don't go

through they they make sure about uh about the canes gate yeah about black throne bricky let me see black throne black throne yeah if you heard about the black throne brickey do you ever not do you ever do you ever cease please tell me you even know me please tell me shy this was this was a a quick off-the-cuff episode anyway. Yeah, shy, it was a quick off-the-cuff episode. Jeez. I wish I had, like, just a gunshot sound effects on my soundboard.

What I have is, like, Among Us. You still only have Among Us soundboard bites? Come on. No, I've got, like, eight, but none of them are, are DK shot. Well, now you need to make one. All right, here we go.

The Black Throneous Dark Elder Revise developed through their covert dealings with the adeptus mechanic What the hell? The Black Throne is a Xenos reconstruction of the Golden Throne and like his predecessor, seeks to control access to the Webway. Upon its completion, the Dark Elder hoped to use it to seize the endless demonic evasions and dysfunctions that have erupted across Comerog since the formation of the Great Rift.

Like the Golden Throne, the Black Throne would require a powerful cycle to operate an inquisitor Erasmus Krow speculates that they have a twisted clone of the Emperor to do so. Okay, speculates, speculates, speculates. Still, that the, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that it is even speculation is crazy because that means he thinks it's on the level of plausibility that they can clone the emperor. During the invention of Aramis Crowell, intervention of Aramus Crowell, his retinue and the custodian Navradarn to the Mechanicum

dealing with the dark Eldar, many of the Zenos working on the Black Throne Project were killed, an associated complex was destroyed. Moreover, the genetic samples provided by Fabricator General Ode O'Don, Oida, Raskian, in order to... O-D-O-D-I-A. O-U-D-I-A. O-D-I-A. What do you want for me?

O-D-O-D-O-D-A, you're right. It's just such a goofy name. Sorry, I'm sorry to burst everyone's a bubble with laughing at his name. Sorry, sorry. Moreover, the genetic sounds provided by Oid-O-D-O-D-E in order to clone the Emperor had been eliminated. Whether this will halt the project is unknown. Okay, saying they clone the Emperor is a bit of a stretch.

They think they clone the Emperor. Yeah, they think they can clone the emperor, but Oide Oida has put it out. Yeah, Oid Oida screwed up. He's put a stop, too. It says that the emperors, the genetic sample provided had been eliminated. Whether this is halted the project is unknown. Well, I guess they just got to get another sample. They just got to get some crusty old stains off of the golden throne.

See, Shai, you say, what do you think they would do with it, make pies? They would make paint. They would do that. They would like get high. Yeah, they would like get high off the emperor's genetic material. They'd find a way to turn into a drug and then they would snort that shit. Oh, yeah, they'd use it like slow-mo from Dread. Like that.

You didn't watch Dred, did you? I know what slow-mo is, though. Oh, okay. Pretty good way to have slow-mo in your movies to make it a drug. Oh, yeah, yeah. Zach Snyder is huffing the slow-mo for sure, dude. I hate Zach Snyder so much. Did you know that?

Did you know that I don't like it? Yeah, I knew. I knew. Yeah, yeah, we're gonna, we're gonna make Bricky watch Rebel Moon for 24 hours straight. Yep. I don't even know if you could like pay me for that. Like I, I, 24 hours straight for any movie is like you could not pay me. Now, I just watch Lawrence of Arabia six times. That'd make it easy. I've never actually seen Lawrence of Arabia once. I've seen clips of it, but I've never actually watched the whole thing. It's actually insane when a, when, when Mr. Arabia goes to Kamaraa, it's crazy. All right. All right.

We're off the rails. We're completely off the rails. We have tipped over the wagon. I am actually genuinely excited for what is that shy? Shy. Why are you like this? Oh, you can't put that in the episode. Yeah, you cannot put that in the episode.

Okay, so, all right. Maybe you want to just end it here. You know, so, okay, here's the thing, right? Here's the thing. Oh, my God. Um, Camerog, unfortunately, it seems like it's going to get a lot more of its lore from this new, the big DACA book, which is unfortunate that we jumped into it before reading the book. But, oh, well, here we are. Um, Camarag does not have a whole lot of lore on its inner workings too much.

Uh, and besides, it's a pirate haven and it sucks. Mm-hmm. Um, but I'm, I'm actually excited to read the Uftok book and, uh, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, see if we can get a bit more Kamaraa stuff, which would be very nice. It's weird that you get a lot of Kamaral lore from an orc book. Why do they just make a Kamarag book

instead of... Because Eldar books are bad. Oh, really? I mean, there aren't that many good ones. I was going to say, like, why don't you just make it from like the perspective of someone trying to become an Arkon and trying to like fight his way through all the blah, blah, blah

and having dealings with homunculus and stuff and just do like the how dark Eldar lives in oh it happens in big DACA why does it have to be an orc book though why don't you just have a dark Eldar book listen I I was streaming

the power wash simulator thing recently right that's so fun actually yeah except the Thunderhawk sucks oh yeah I got to the Thunderhawk and I was like yeah no I'm gonna go play the Final Fantasy 7 DLC now so Mike Brooks

author of Black Library has made many a books, including Da Gabo's Revenge, brutal Cunning, War Boss, and as well as, if I'm not mistaken, as well as the Big Dhaka,

which is interesting. He also did the Alfarious Primark book and the Heer and Blackheart book as well. So he's got some interesting books out there, but he also did Sun to the Forest.

Oh. So Mike Brooks clearly has range, it would appear. Apparently, he does have a little bit of range, for sure. The Gobbo's Revenge and Brutal Cunning and stuff, you know, have their problems, but they're pretty great. Alferius book has its problems, but it's pretty good. Didn't read that one. He hasn't read Huron. Shy likes Warboss.

Son of the Forest is like a top five Black Library book for us. Yep, definitely. So, you know, he ain't. ate with that one. He ate with that one. As the kids say, he consumed sustenance with that one. I would despise

the idea that Mike Brooks, because he seems to be the main source of orky fun right now in Black Library. It would be so unfortunate if he went and did like nothing but space marine books, even if they're the same caliber as Son of the

Forest. I wouldn't mind. No, I wouldn't mind. And I'd be like he clearly is good at this. But he is also the main source of orc books. And I wish you would, you know, we need more of that too. True. I guess we do need more orc books. There are plenty of space marine books.

But by comparison, not nearly enough orc books. Also, I don't know if you've ever seen what Mike Brooks looks like. He is exactly the kind of this, the kind of British guy who would make an orc book. All right. Here's his Twitter profile picture. Yeah, probably. I love it. Absolute, absolute baller.

Hell yeah. That is, wow, that Mohawk might be taller than him. Anyway, great stuff. Camarag, awesome. Maybe we'll do a second. Maybe we'll do Camerog part two after we finish. Comeron part two. Let's go.

After we finish the big DACA. The big DACA. Yeah, which is probably going to be, what, the book club after this book club? That would be correct. Okay, cool. Cool. Well, now that you were mean to me, I have to do this.

I had to do it. I had to do it. Like, you were mean to me. That didn't even affect me. The big DACA. Read it. Drop the pipe. Drop the pipe.

God, I put my headphones into my monitoring system so I can hear all the things I say. And it's just, it's so much louder for me now that I can hear it. I love how that. probably hurt you more than it hurt me. It probably did. All right, goodbye, everyone. Goodbye.