Adeptus Ridiculous - DAEMONCULABA: ACTUALLY PRETTY BAD | Warhammer 40k Lore

Episode Date: January 5, 2022

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Welcome everyone to a very special episode of the Adeptus Ridiculous podcast. What? Whoa, this is the intro, man. I'm trying. You're too happy. What the fuck, man? You're too happy for today. You have to be a lot sadder with the intro.

Oh, okay. This is not a happy day intro. Why don't you give us a depressing intro, pal, since you've ruined this already. Wow. I was just saying you're... Keep all of this in shy. Can you imagine... Can you...

I can't imagine, like, it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, demon Kulava episode. You're coming in with too much happiness. I'm going into this blind. I don't know what to expect. It might be roses and rainbows, although from what I've heard, it's most assuredly not any of that.

But we'll get into it, because today we are doing the demon, demon kilbasa, because our amazing patrons over at patreon.com slash Adeptus Ridiculous, hit that big 15K goal. It only lasted a couple of days, but it's still amazing that we got there. So, Demon Kilbasa. And Shai wants us to do some content warnings. So there's going to be some heavy shit in this episode.

There's going to be some pretty deranged, messed up. I'm assuming gory, violent, awful 40K grim, dark shenanigans. So I suppose if you're not ready for that, mentally, physically, or whatever, maybe click away. Spiritually, anything. Maybe now's a good time to just go check out all the other episodes of The Adeptus Ridiculous. I'm sure Shai can put a card in the top right or something, one of those do-dady thing of my bobbers. But yeah, Demon Kibasa. Happy New Year!

Woo! What a way to start off the New Year with the Demon. party poppers, fireworks in the back. There are helicopters flying pastures. Gunfire going here and there. Detroit. Oh, poor Detroit, but it's so true. Detroit is such a shithole. Sorry, everybody that lives

in Detroit. I've been there. It's not great. I mean, I was going to say granted, but you two. Ironically, like, the thing is with the content warning is that we talk about a lot of really fucked up shit on the devil's

Because Warhammer is really fucked up, you know? It is. But it's like a variation of fucked up. So I guess the content warning is very specifically to if anything involving like birth bugs you. Anything involving birth? Yeah. Or like, ooh. All right, I'm gonna go through the tag.

Oh no Actually I kind of would spoil it But if there if this was like one of those What are those sites that have like hentai And they all have like tags You could sort by tags or something They have like a tag list This is one of those ones that has like

4,500 tags And it's all like the most deranged shit It's actually I went to Like the actual thing itself is pretty fucking bad. And yeah, I mean, I actually would state a pretty solid content warning for this.

Because it touches up some heavy topics. Like, if you don't like things like sexual assault, that's a thing that, you know, should be warned of. Oh, boy. This is, this is sounding worse and worse as we, as we go. All right.

So, okay. You know, so, okay, so there's still contingent of morons who are like, Warhammers for men My manly fucking hobby Yeah, and they You know, they can barely get out of their chair Um

Those kinds of people think that when they want to make something really fucked up They normally do it at the expense of women And in like a sexual manner And if Graham McNeil wasn't such a decent writer I'm like Wait a minute Wait a fucking second He is currently working as

the senior writer at Riot Games. Oh, really? No. The guy who wrote the last church and the demon kobasa and Storm of Iron

is he actually the senior writer at Riot Games? Oh, really? He's no, no fucking way. Oh, really? I've made a... I've made a discovery. A discovery indeed.

Here's his Twitter. Oh my God, he's got Arcane in the background. L.A. based Scottish award winning New York Times best-selling author and screenwriter, currently working at fried games. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. A discovery indeed has been made.

This is the most shocking revelation I have ever had. This is almost as crazy as when I found out the people who created Warhammer Lost Crusade or Eternal Crusade, the terrible third-person shooter game are the same people who make dead by daylight. Oh, that is, that is indeed a terrible discovery. You're right. Anyway, if he wasn't such a good author, I would think he would be one of those guys. Oh, okay. But luckily, he's not. I guess he just has a, he's just, I guess he just has a, he's just, he's, She just has a very deep imagination. Anyway, let's get started.

Okay, so we start off with the only thing scarier. The only thing scarier than the demon kibasa and ultramarine. Oh, no. So, despite your hating for ultra Marines, this might not be time for the ultramarines hating. That's fine. Because the alternative is not great. Ah, I see. So, okay, so there's a guy, and he might, now, okay, I will hate on one thing.

He might have the worst haircut in all of 40K. His name is Uriel Venturis, or Uriyan. No, yeah, Uriel Venturist. Not to be confused with Uriol Rackarth, who is the creepy fucking Dark Eldar doctor. Uriel Venturis is a captain of the fourth company of Ultramarians, and he did a big fight against, against, I think, tyrannids. And basically a kill team lost their leader.

And he's like, I will take over that leader. I will take over that position. And then his other battle brother's like, you're literally just going to abandon us for this other team. And he's like, yep. And because you're a blueberry boy scout, that's big against the Codex of Staris. And you can't do that.

Leaving your squad for someone else is a big no-no. Like you're just loyal to your squad no matter what, how dare you even think about leaving them, even if it's to help somebody. else? I'm getting past the specifics here a little bit. Long story short. He himself, that

was uncool, not dope. Marnius Cal Boggar, also known as double fister swarble lord man, said, wow, you're a bitch. The codex says you can't do that. We're going to see what we're going to deal, how we're going to deal with you. We're going to take you to court.

And during this whole like court thing, he was originally Uriel, that is, very like what the fuck, I was just trying my best. And then someone kind of made this statement. I was like, it's, the codex isn't about being the best space marine. It's about being a loyal space marine. That's the concept.

It's about keeping strong loyalty. He's like, oh, fuck, all right. Well, I'll just take my sentence. And so this guy, known as chief librarian Tigerius, which I, if I'm not mistaken, was actually there when Gilliman woke up and he was, I think, on the side of your brain. which is nutty considering he's a super blueberry. Yeah, you would think that they would not want anything to do with anything Zeno at. Yes.

Tigerius is known as, I think, the strongest siker of space marines, with the exception of some Grey Nights. I think he's the strongest regular space marine siker out of sikers. Oh, damn. I think he's the only cyker to have ever peered in. into the Tyrannid hive mind and survive. Oh, that's a big deal. Yeah, I mean, he didn't feel good, but, you know. Would we ever do a separate episode specifically on him?

I only asked because, like, the last time we talked about librarians, I think was in the Salamanders episode. Oh my God, tap the sign, D.K. Well, I'm just saying. You didn't tap the sign moment, D.K. I know. Laugh at this user. The only reason I ask is because if he's like the strongest psycher,

the other librarians sounded like they had really cool powers, and I kind of want to know what he can do. Because I'm sure he can do some really wacky shit. I mean, yeah. But, you know. That's the only reason I ask is because I was just curious what sort of crazy, wacky, bullshit powers he has. And he's an ultramarine, so he's got to be pretty special.

Laugh at this user. I'm sorry. I did a sign. tapping thing. I am what I hate. Anyway, he had a really bad nightmare. He was having a sleep and he was like, oh my God, I'd see horrible, horrible, horrible, nightmarish bullshit. And then he woke up and it was 2020. But then he woke up again and he had a vision of the demon kilbasa. I want to keep calling it that and then I can just post kilbasa instead of having to find any

art because I don't think there is any art. And if there is art, she's sure. as shit isn't fucking posting it. No, talk about a quick demonetization. We're going to be demonetized anyway. So basically the idea was like, hey, Ventriss, you were a bitch. You're going to go deal with this thing. It's like a death oath. Because either you get excommunicated or, better yet, you go and, well, you know, deal with this problem.

Yeah, either way he gets his glory back. If he dies, whatever. And if he succeeds, great. So it's a win-win for the Ultramarines, right? I mean, for him, basically. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because, yeah, he dies. It doesn't really matter.

But the main thing is that they want to get rid of that. So what they do is they head on over. He gets to this planet in the eye of terror. And it's him and also, I think he's got this other guy with him. I forget his name. But he's got this other dude. And they're going out and they're finding a bunch of weird as shit.

The first thing they find is a bunch of these like little mutant slave dudes kind of working over stuff. These gigantic like flaps of leather kind of floating in the breeze and like kind of tanned and all this stuff and so they go deal with the little mutant dudes and then

they like oh god that leather looked a lot like skin. That's gross. And he walked up and he's like oh my God, it's skin. And it's not night lords. I mean in 40K If you're going into the eye of terror

You got to expect to find some crazy shit like that I mean that's probably in the eye of terror That's probably one of the least crazy things you can find It's just skin flapping in the wind So hey We're we're on par with the grim dark Of the eye of terror in 40K So sure

He went and basically saw the skin flaps Like a face in the skin flaps And it's like ooh gross That's a person So as they kept on progressing, so you need to, yeah, it was. So you need to imagine this planet as like, it's like a planet, but like they don't, they, they're encountering some abhoran mutants and some iron warriors here and there because it's, it's in the eye of terror. But you got to kind of imagine this place as, maybe it's not quiet, but it has like this, this feeling of like stillness to it. As they're walking through this kind of town or like warehouse structure area of this of this place,

They start seeing a couple of humans, but they're wearing these really, like, confusing-looking robes. Because obviously, this is, you know, we're in a chaos area. So they got these weird, like, cultisty robes. They're really thick. And they look a lot like, well, you know, robes of skin. Until it's actually found that they're not robes of skin. It is their skin that has been stretched and dead.

distended all throughout their body. Like someone who was extremely overweight and has lost a ton of weight. And they have that long flap of like stomach skin or something, except like triple it. Oh. Like their arms are stretched long. Their skin has been pulled and it is like hanging off them in what looks like the loose robes of large distended pieces of skin. as they're slowly trudging through this city, like moaning and crying in a line. Oh, boy.

Well, that sounds awful. Not great. Not great. It's probably, again, for being in the eye of terror, not the worst thing that could happen to you probably. You're right. We're not done. Still not too bad. Still not great, but, you know, not bad.

Well, you're, I don't know, I don't know, that's pretty bad. And you're still alive. Yeah, but it could be worse. You could be a sofa. You could be a sofa. Your skin could be flapping in the wind with your face on it. Why is the sofa in the wind? I don't know, but it doesn't matter.

There was the, when they got to this planet, there was skin flapping in the wind, right? I thought she meant like, ah, yeah. I thought she meant like the sofa is flapping. in the wind. It's like, wow, this is a very light sofa. Yeah. Or a very strong wind. Or a very strong wind. We're trying our best to have some comedy in this one because it's not a happy story. We're going to need some levity in this one, guys. Like, we're trying.

So, anyway, as they continue walking, they finally kind of reach these like warehouses area. And during this whole time, I mean, they're fighting shit. They're killing people, whatever. I'm just skipping past this stuff. So they find a whole bunch of people. people that are actually being hooked up to, uh, with these weird like dark mechanicus people. I forget their actual names, but they're, they're very, they're like a heretical adeptus biologous. Uh, so biology ones. And there is a bunch of humans all up and down these cells and they have, and they're like being, um, well, their tongues have been cut out so they can't scream as much. Uh, but their, their jaws are distended open.

as they have an entire like entire cohort of tubes being forced that forced down into their mouths and into their skin. And it's actually force feeding them and bloating their bodies. Oh boy. Yeah. So I want you to check off inflation on this one. Oh boy. Yeah. Well, you got me. So hey, the skin robes don't seem so bad anymore, do they? Or are these the people that become the skin robes? That's what they're doing is they are physically stretching and distending their skin by either force feeding and bloating them against their will. Oh boy, so, okay, so it's pretty bad to be one of those skin robed people that has, okay, this is,

I was going to say once you're like, oh yeah, they're in cells with the dark mechanic. I'm like, this is going nowhere good. This is going nowhere good. You don't want to end up a prisoner of the dark Mechanicum. Oh, no. Yep, it's bad. It's bad. So they eventually encounter,

during this period of time, they encountered a couple people. They found, so I kind of have to, it's like hard to back up. It's like, how do you do this perspective of adventurous or overall perspective? It's a little tough.

But long story short, and I'll hype on over on this one. I'll like hop over. He's been finding some people. Some renegade space marines, which is actually pretty rare. Renegate Space Marines are space marines that have quit their chapter, but are no longer, but are not chaos.

So they're kind of like, they're like, they're like, they're like, I don't want to be an ultramarine anymore, it's stupid. And so I'm jumping ship and I'm doing my own thing. I still should have the emperor, but it's like a Freeblade knight, like a Freeblade night, like a Freeblade night, but for some Marines. It's like a Ronan. Yeah. And then you got like a Ravenguard guy who's doing the same.

And then like a couple, a couple guardsmen, like about two, two guardsmen, I think, like a sergeant and a colonel. And so what's going on here is that the concept is that do you remember Iron Warrior Hansu? Yeah, he's the one that had the silver arm. Correct. Let's go. You did it. Let's fucking go.

Let's go. You did it. He is the living metal arm. He is Iron Warrior Hansu is the warp smith or a war smith. but he's also like a, I think a warpsmith too. Okay. No, I think he's just warsmith. Yeah, war smith.

And anyway, so what happened is a bit ago, they actually had this massive fight with the Imperial Fists. Okay. And in this Imperial Fists fight, they were actually, they actually like kind of fucking bodied them again, just slapped their shit. And by doing so,

they were actually able to recover 20, thousand individual stocks of gene seed. Oh, that's a big deal. Mm-hmm. You remember they were stealing that from the Marines errant in the second Knight Lord's book. Yeah, in the Nightlord's book, yep. That's a huge deal.

That's how you keep the chapter going. And because actually a lot of his fellow people actually died, his fellow warsmiths, he was one of the few surviving warsmiths of the fight. So he got a big portion of it, like, 15K of it all to himself. So he was trying to find a way to replenish their ranks because they have a bunch of genie,

but with so much of it, you know, like he wants to do it in a decent period of time because Abidon's Black Crusades coming up. It's coming up soon. And so as Ventriss and the boys are arriving to this giant warehouse, there's actually some infighting going on, some other Iron Warriors are fighting hard.

Hanzu, probably because they want some gene scene. There's a little bit of infighting, but basically they arrive, and during this time, they kind of get their ass kicked. They kill some warriors all the kind of stuff, all at usual, but then they get their ass kicked, and then they get subdued,

and then they get, then they get captured. Okay, okay. By the Iron Warriors. Yeah. Not a great fate. No, not, it's never, I don't think it's ever a great fate to get captured by any Chaos Space Marine chapter, is it?

Like, that's pretty much you're going to suffer for the rest of your miserable existence and they might prolong your miserable existence so it might go on for a while. I think the best people to get captured by is probably the world eaters. I think they'll just kill it. Is it just a quick finish? I think they'll just kill you.

The Inverse children are going to do Slaeschi things. Night Lawrence will flay you. Yep. I mean, maybe the Alpha lead ship, but then they'll just like confuse you. like, the Alpha Legion capture you. They hand you a piece of paper. They say, is it sign,

cosine, or tangent? Oh, no. And if you get this wrong, and if you get this wrong, I'm handing you to the night lords. Oh, God, you definitely don't want to end up with the night lords. Who, after reading that trilogy, they take pride in prolonging that shit.

So, once they arrive, and they get captured, they are basically taken by the dark mechanics, They are ripped out of their armor, particularly venturous here. He is ripped out of his armor, and he is subdued and bludgeoned and, and, like, he's all like loopy and stuff. And they're taken down to the deep, deep, dark depths of these warehouses.

And there we find ourselves the demon keelbovso. Oh, boy. Here we go. Here we go. Tell me about it. It's not one singular entity. It's multiple. Um, it is, well, it's, it's, it's, demon kill, kilbasa, fuck man, I can't believe this is what we're calling it.

Yep, it's the kibasa. Uh, can never eat kubasa. I liked klobara too. Let's have a barbecue, boy. It's so good. I love kielbasa. It is. Kovasa is great.

I don't know. Demon Kalaba, kabasa, it's, it fits. Pina colada. Demon Kalata. Yeah. Demon Kalata. Pinika, demon calada, yeah. Demon kilaba is a pinocalada, but with like some grenadine for the red color.

That works. That works. So, okay, so it's not one, it's multiple. Like, there are multiple demon kulaba, kibasa, fuck. Cabasas. Yes, Doge Van Dyer. It's going to be the new one. So what it is, is it's a bunch of female slaves.

And the female slaves have had their tongues cut out, and they are also being force-fed and with tubes and all that kind of stuff, to distend their bodies to abhorrent sizes. And what it is is they are actually used as enormous surrogate birthing wombs. And the concept is that they are supposed to give birth, to entire full-sized space marines. Full-sized. What?

So they are bloated and stretched and and pulled open. And they are, in order to create, Hansu's plan is to forcefully inseminate these female slaves with the Imperial Fist's gene scene and then oh shy I found the fan art Oh that's so cursed That's actually not technically accurate either

But that that's pretty Pretty awful Yeah because you're saying that they should He's trying to give birth to like full-sized Yeah but it's kind of It's got a little bit of like a human centipede kind of thing Where it's sometimes there's multiple in order to create the actual size of the thing Yeah, yeah.

So, but what they do is that they, by forced insemination of gene seam, they then take a young male of around a teenage years and they will forcibly put them in the womb. And then they will, they will, like a reverse C-section. and then they will sew the womb shut with them inside of it. Oh. And they're literally in a claustrophobic

flesh prison completely covered in all kinds of matter and like fluid and all that kind of stuff where if you open your eyes, it gets in your eyes. If you open your mouth,

you start to drown in the fluids of the womb. Oh. And then you will slowly be consumed and, like, dissolved and turned into a space marine via this gene seed. Oh. And then you will be birthed. Oh. Well, that's a lot.

to process. Remember what I said, like, it's one of those things that really gross dudes would do in their manly man hobby, where they have to find, if they want to try to invent the most abhorrent thing possible,

they always go down this kind of route. Yeah. It's like in the, it's like in the 80s films where every female character had to, like, be sexually assaulted. And that was like their fucking, their fucking character arc or something.

Yeah. It's really, it's really, not fun. Let me see if I understand this right. So they get bloated to the point where they could fit

you said a teenage male or larger. Or larger into their womb. Womb gets sewn shut. Like a reverse C-section, yep. And then the Gene C-C just sort of like turns them

into a chaos space marine at full side. And then they just poof. Out they come. Well, they're popped out without any skin. Oh, of course not. Why would they have any skin? Which is what all of the distended people in the beginning were there for. Because if this chaos space marine comes out okay and not insane, which they often do,

they will then take the skin removed from the bloated individuals prior and transplanted on them. Oh, all of those skin row people are for skin harvesting? Correct. Oh, that sucks. Yeah. Wow. You know how I said it wasn't so bad to be one of these skin row people? That's why I was like, DK, I don't think you know.

You lack critical information. Yeah, I sure do. Twitch.tv.TV slash Pepe laugh. Yeah, I, I, um, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, like, okay, we read the planet doing anything. Oh, fah. That's a lot of bullshit. It's a lot, and it's, it's, it's, it's like I said earlier, where, like, like, like, okay, we read the night lord's books. Talos decides to skin and dismember a hundred, astropaths to feed the warp and blow up and all that stuff right pretty fucked up really fucked

up um are you like in a sense similarly but not fucked up to this because this fucked up involves the the gross taboo things of our society yeah birth sexual assaults that all that it's it's so does this actually work to make Chaos Space Marines? Like is this actually sometimes? Sometimes. Is this like once in a hundred or is it more

like, does it actually have a bigger success rate? The man has a lot of gene seed. Oh. Yeah. So I don't really know, but I think it fails more than it succeeds. But anyway, it's not worth it, is what

you're saying. And it's just an edgy story because it's chaos and we need some dark shit and it's an edgy story for the sake of edgy story. That's the truth regardless. Yeah. Um, it, it probably is worth it at the end of the day. He, I'm assuming that hansu was still very much in the process of, of figuring it out. Um, because he was, you know, with more testing comes more success rates. But he's wasted a lot of gene seed then. If it fails more often than it succeeds, he's wasting a lot of gene seed.

Well, don't forget that chaos can't really, like just the average process of making a space marines does not have a high success rate either. It's quite poor, in fact. Yeah, a regular, doesn't it only have a 10% chance of surviving like a space marine implantation? Even that? Oh, yeah, tons of space marines die.

I guess I didn't realize that That it was already a really low channel So he's trying to find his own way Because like if he has to slowly get a person From a certain age and get them up I'm not defending it obviously But you know Fucking around with chaos shit

To try to have a better product So to speak is is the way of chaos And especially the way of the Iron Warriors Who like to dittle and fuck around with stuff And boy, is this diddling and fucking around with stuff? There's a lot of diddling in this one. It's a little too much diddling. Way too much dittling.

Good God. Charlie. We need to make a song about how we do not dittle kids. Oh, my God. Jeez. So, yeah, pretty, pretty gross. Yeah, pretty fucking awful. So naturally, we only have to make it worse.

So Uriel Ventrists gets put inside this. What do you mean put inside this? He's just in the same chamber or they literally sew him into a distended person? They literally sew him in. They literally shove him into this distended womb and they sew him into this flesh prison. Oh, no, that's not good. Right. And so he can't move at all.

So if you're claustrophobic, you know. I mean, you're fucked either way, I guess, even if you're not claustrophobic. It's horrifying to read the excerpts. It's like every part around him is like pulsating. And like it's all distended growing chaotic mass. And he can't open his eyes or his mouth because then just like fucking whatever that fluid is that comes out with the birth. You know what I'm talking about. Yeah, I know what you're talking about.

It's super awful. So eventually he through, I must admit, maybe a little bit of plot armor, but also just anger, I guess. literally fists his way out. He takes his fist and he just fucking punches it up as hard as he can and he rips all the sutures and then he has to literally

he has to literally rip and tear through the walls of flesh out of the body. Damn. And after that... How distended is this body? It's literally like

it's like a foot of fucking flesh of pure like flesh. And so he rips his way out while naked. You know, can I just, can I make a statement? And I thought they smelled bad on the outside. Oh, that's, all right, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's also, that's, that's not, that's not, that's not terrible.

All right, fine, fine, fine, thank you. You can use that art in the episode, shy from Star, Wars? You just get the thing of a hand cut and open the shit, what the fuck are those things? Tonkas or whatever. And putting Luke in? Ton, oh my God, that's so topical. I hate it.

I'm never going to be able to watch that scene again. This is very different, but I know what you mean. This man got womb vored. Yeah, he sure did. People are fucking gross.

And that's probably not even a new tag. That's probably, that tag probably exists with thousands of entries. Man, I fucking hate people. Agreed. And I thought the worst tag on the internet was like ugly bastard. I thought

that was like the worst tag. Not even close. Dude, I had to learn about what the fuck mind break was like a week ago. Oh, you poor sweet summer child. I can't believe it took me this long. I'm just sad that you had to learn about it, period.

Dude, that's unfortunate. Let's continue. Moving on, he gets out by fisting his way out of a womb, and then he immediately starts crying. He immediately starts, like, sobbing, which is a rarity in space marines, actually. Yeah. But he gets his way out.

He's been through. I don't blame him. He gets his way out, and then he gets some of the renegade dudes out. He gets his buddy out, and they get some guardsmen out. And the guardsmen are, the two of the guardsmen, the sergeant and the colonel are still there.

And they're traumatized, but they're like, we're here, we're good. Sort of. Sort of. We're good as we can be after seeing that shit. And then they basically beat their way out of the area. But then they have to escape the Iron Warriors and some of the guards, and they get stuck in this river of flesh. This literal river, sewer of,

of body parts, like a river. Oh, no. And of, of like, of like placenta and all that stuff. Just this river of this. And they can't actually outrun the river and they get sucked down into the sewer grates where they were actually flushing the failed experiments down. Oh. And so they get down there and they find a whole bunch of failed experiments.

Uh-huh. So a bunch of, uh, just a bunch of, um, dead bodies that didn't turn into chaos space screens? They're not, they're not dead at all. They are very alive. Oh, no. They're known as the, they're known as the unfleshed because they have no skin. Oh, that's right. Because they're failed. They wouldn't get any of the skin from the skin harvest people. Oh, no. And they're fucking enormous. They are like ogren. Why are they enormous?

Shouldn't they be kind of tiny? Or like teen-sized? Like a kid? No. Oh, no. Oh, God. Let me make this clear. The TV Kilaab is multiple.

Like, they only can birth like three people before their bodies rupture and they die. Oh, fuck. So it's not like it's a common, it's only like they got one big one. And yeah, like they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're super insane. They have minds like children. They act like they're six. They have minds completely fucked up like children and they're super

insane but they're also really strong. So basically they were like oh, they're about to basically kill them. It's like, oh, you smell of the mother. Like, we won't kill you. And then they decide what to do with them and they actually ended up making like a statue of the emperor because I guess they still

believe in the emperor despite being super fucked up because they're probably like teenagers that were taken as slaves. Oh, that's really tragic, actually. Yeah, so they basically, like, they try to, like, oh, do you believe in the emperor, random person from the mother? And then I think they throw them at the thing, and then, like, it lights up or something coincidentally. He's like, oh, the emperor believes in you, we will follow you.

And so basically they escape the area together with these insane, fucked up children, like, unfleshed. Oh, God. So the, so the unflashed actually help out, what was the Space Marines name again? Uriel Ventress. Ventress. So they actually, these unfleshed actually help him out and they all just get out? Yeah, yeah, they escaped the area.

And then as they're way out there, one of the guardsmen sergeants succumbs to his injuries. And then at this point, they're like, fuck. we got it We got exterminatus this place Well, Uriel's like I have a death oath Like I can't come back

I have to I've destroyed this thing Yeah yeah So he basically says I'm going back in I gotta I gotta destroy this entire place Like who is with me

And a lot of the renegade guys Are like Fuck you I ain't going in there Fuck that. I ain't doing... I ain't doing shit. And then the Ravenguard guy was also like,

fuck you. You do this on your own. I want no part of that. Oh God. And so the first person to stand forward was the guardsman. Oh, really? The colonel was like, yeah?

Like, for the emperor of mankind, I will bring death to the, traitors who did this to me and my, because he was one of the guardsmen stationed at the Imperial Fist Battle. And basically his entire company, like his, or I think his entire regiment is dead.

And so he's just like, yep. So all these, so a bunch of these space marines, some of the renegades and the fucking ravengard, they literally leave. And this guardsman's like, yep,

I'll do it. Damn. Like, what a fucking... You can always count on the guard to be hardcore. I think he was in one of the fucking kill bosses, too. This guardsman. I mean, I might be wrong on that one, but I thought he was in it as well, and he's like, yeah, I'll do it. Like, what a fucking Chad.

I guess if he was in one, he'd be like, yeah, I want payback. These motherfuckers need to burn. That's true. That's... So what happens to be unfleshed at this point? Do they not? Are they still helping? They have determined that no more shall anything be birthed from the great mother or whatever.

Like, this cannot keep happening. This is terrible. We, like, they decide to help. Okay. So they actually, right now, the Iron Warrior Civil War is getting really bad. Mm-hmm. And they're really starting to cause a lot of explosions and problems, and they're fighting each other. So they actually hide in like these carts of the dead

The flesh guys and the ultramarines and the guardsmen And they get wheeled in there to a certain point Eventually until they unfleshed are like death to the iron men And they get up and they start like fucking murdering people Because they're children and they don't know how to They don't know tactics So they actually do like they actually really murder iron warriors Like these guys they were described as having the grip

strength of a dreadnought. Oh, wow. These dudes are like Ogren. They are massive and they fuck people up. So they're throwing blows. They're beating on people. They're making their way into this facility. They're fighting and blasting.

And eventually there is this one iron warrior they find all strung up being with tubes in him as well. And he's actually being like siphoned. His flesh is being like siphoned into the. machine or something. And because he would, he fought Hanzu. Oh, okay.

So it's kind of his punishment. And he's like, oh my God, please fucking kill me. Like, God, kill me anything. Just, just, just murder me. I can't take this anymore. And naturally, the ultramarines are like, uh, no. Nah. Nah. Nah. You reap what you so, you chaos, bitch.

Yeah. Well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of my own action. Yep, yep. So eventually the guy is like, you want to fucking stop Hansu? You want to know where he is? And they're like, interesting.

All right, I guess we can kill you. Yeah, it's like, all right, fine. Give us the information and we'll fucking kill you. And so they get the information about Hansu's whereabouts and all that stuff. And then they leave the killing process to be done by the colonel, the guardsman. And the guardsman just The guardsman just kind of stands there And he's like

Hmm Let me soak to say He's kind of He just kind of strokes his chin He's like Huh And the Iron Warrior's like Kill me now

You fucking slave Kill me now You like mortal All this kind of stuff Like you slave to the corpse emperor And the Garzman's like No I don't think I will And then he

So he shoots him in the stomach with his lasgun once just because he can. Damn. And he's like, huh, funny. He's like, yeah, well, Ventris swore he gave you his oath that he would kill you.

I didn't. Oh, and he leaves him? And no, so there's actually a leftover grenade that the Iron Warrior had near like some of the machinery and he grabs the grenade and he's like, don't want you dying by accident now. And then he leaves. Wow.

What a Chad. I know. He's got the biggest nuts. What a fucking Chad. Good for him. Good for him. For getting his small measure of, fuck you,

Iron Warrior. Good for him. It was pretty good. So they go back. And the main, I told you there were demon things going on. Basically, this is this corn demon

that's being trapped and used. the iron warriors as a steady flow of blood to keep the demon killbosses from bleeding out and dying. Oh. And also to protect them

from like the war from like warped and sorcery fuckery. So, but this demon hates the demon that Ergil Ventrists talked to in the beginning when they were heading with the Gellerfields. I skip this part because it's not that important.

I mean, it is important, but it's not, it's whatever. Yeah. Long story short, the constant that they do is they free said demon. They free the demon, which allows the warp field to, which also through some measure of ability, Uriel Ventrhus is like, yeah, don't kill us. Kill them instead. And the demon's like, okay. Sure, why not?

They're the ones that trap me. Yeah, why not? Yeah. I'll go for that. So they go, so they release him. And then because of that, the anti-psychic barriers kind of come down. so the other demon as well as the outsideing iron warriors that are

seaging the place get to start doing sorcery fuckery on them and so now this civil war is like a full fucking, it's going. Oh yeah, it's come to a head. It really is and so they, the walls start to break. This place is coming down like everything's going crazy

but after getting rid of some of the other kilbossas well the guardsman guy finds the last surviving member of his regiment. This lady who shared the same home world and she's super fucked up but he's like oh my god I found her I saved like

I saved her life without having to die by this and this horrible fate which is huge because he's like it's might as well die with friends you know did he know she was down there or was it just a happy coincidence I think he thought she was down there

and he just didn't quite know but as they're as they're making their way out Hanzu and some of his boys kind of stopped them obviously and despite everything going on Huntsu is just so smug he's so fucking smug about it he's just like

your horrible mutations are dying your places in ruin he's like yeah so I'll just kill you I'll just cool I get to kill you I don't give a shit I'll make more look at all my jeans seat

La Mao That's true if they really wanted to get to him They should have just blown up the jeans seat or something Although he's probably got it stored in some safe location that you can't get to or some bullshit nonsense like that. He's, Hansu is a really, like, smug, spiteful fuck. It's kind of great. He's kind of fun in that way, but he's obviously also a horrible human. Oh, yeah.

I mean, he came up with all this shit, right? So, ugh. I mean, what kind of twisted piece of shit? Anyway, go ahead. Yeah, remember he has the great quote of, I don't care what a green, I don't give a green skin, fart what everyone thinks of me. Yeah, obviously. He was the half-breed, remember,

with the non-pure gene scene? Do you remember for that from the Iron Warriors episode? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anywho, they fight a bit, and while the things are tumbling down, and then basically the unflashed, kind of have like a final sacrifice as they rip apart his entire, like, side bodyguards.

and the person that actually sewed him into the thing they tore that space marine like limb from limb which is pretty pretty satisfying yeah I'm sure for them it was very satisfying damn so eventually like

the place is crumbling Hanzu doesn't die because of course he doesn't and then Ventress can't can't get him so they're running away and leaving and so at this point the reason this place is falling apart both because of the Civil War, but also these two demons are fighting each other.

Like these gigantic demons are literally coming at blows with each other because they hate each other. Sure. And so as, as Uriel is running away, the first demon is like, oh my God, he's leaving. No, you don't get to fucking leave. No, no way. And so he summons a bunch of lesser demons to go get him. And so cradling his like new guardsman lady who's insane, the colonel guardsman guy.

actually slices his wrist. And so then a bunch of fresh uncorrupted blood is kind of as a scent. And all the lesser demons run to him instead, kind of share a last word with the lady and then he detonates the melter grenade he had and blows himself up and kills all the lesser demons. Wow.

And then that's what keeps... What a hero. That's what keeps Ventriss alive. They run away. They escape. Ventriss is redeemed in the Ultramarine's eyes, and, uh, and, uh, happy endings? Happy endings?

Yo, the, the big hero of this is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the guardsman. Yeah. I mean, I mean, I mean, granted, the, the Ultramarines, you have, have a little respect for this guy now for what he had to go through. Oh, oh, God, yeah. Oh, like, I don't know how he kept any semblance of sanity. That's, that's the crazy part. brought to tears and this guardsman guy was like

yeah I'll go back in yeah that's that's true Jesus because Ventress was he was sewn up and then he punched his way out which is Jesus I mean you can't like

you can't not respect someone that that goes through all of that and somehow stays sort of sane enough to actually go back in and destroy all that and just whew jeez Zuz.

Oh my God. What a fucking... That's the... I mean, that's the story that's the devian kilbasa. After this, basically, Hansu leads an iron warriors force onto Macrogg during the 13th Black Crusade.

If you remember, Avedon kept the ultramarines at bay by sending Iron Warriors to Macrogg instead. So that's why they don't have a huge part in the fall of Acadia, because Iron Warrior Hanzu after this, fight, it took his abominations and went over.

Okay. Does Hansu ever start up the demon kibas again, or is he just like, ah, that was stupid. Let me try something different. I think James Workshop realized they went a little too far, and so, uh, no. As far as we know, the entire thing is now rubble and the demons have fucked it all up. Okay, cool. So they haven't like started another demon kilbasa planet, and GW was just like, eh, that was pretty cringe. That was not based. No, no, no, that was pretty fucking cringe.

Because yeah, that's a lot. That's a lot of fucked up. That demon kilbasa stuff. Yeah. Honestly, I've been told that these ultramarine novels are actually not terrible. It is one of the reasons why the ultramarines have as many fans as they do. Because apparently it's not that bad. And the only problem is that you have this tied to it.

So, shit. It kind of makes me want to read the Ultramarine trilogy just to see how it all goes, like how you get from wherever the Ultraman story starts into Demon Kilbasa. I mean, I wouldn't know if you want to do that. Well, I'm just not entirely sure I really want in-depth details and very descriptive writing about the Demon Kilbasa. I'd be like, oh yeah, those first two books were great. Did you read the third one? No, I fucking didn't.

I certainly skipped it. I heard what the demon kilbasa is. Bricky told me the important notes of it, and I avoided that book like a plague. That is part of it where I gave you the abridged version. Even so, it was pretty nasty. Yeah, it's pretty gross. Would you say,

Now that we know what it is, would you say it is the most disturbing thing in 40K? I, the problem is, is that the variation of disturbing is dependent on the person. We all have our own fears. And it's like what I mentioned a bit ago. You know, you can watch Law and Order and it has all this horrible blood and guts, but no one's allowed to say fuck. And if you show, and if you show a boob. then you get like an NC17 rating or something like you know so the the weight of like how you weigh

various grossness is dependent on the person that's why I don't like this very much I find it I find it um I find it distasteful uh well that's that is definitely a word that could be used for the demon and kilbasa. Absolutely. Right, but it's not like, it's not like, oh my God, so grim dark and so gross. It is, but it's, it's, it's so, it has very like that guy feels where they want to make something gross so they decide to make the most horrible thing they can think of, which involves forceful insemination of female slaves. Yeah, and like reverse C-sections.

Yeah, and it's like. unfleshed abortions and it's yeah it feels cheap it's it's it feels in bad taste it's it feels like you want to make a villain hateable in a game or a movie so you either make them extremely racist or they like kick dogs like it's like super easy it's it feels like an easy way out um so it feels like it's in bad taste i was about to take a knock on jojo because jojo does that shit all the fucking time. We're like, hey, this guy's bad. You know how you know he's bad?

Oh, shit, look, he just kicked a dog. Oh, he just killed a dog. And yeah, it is, it's, it's, it's like, does, I'm like, does the person that made this, like, just hate dogs? Like, can you not find a better way to make a villain dislikeable and more villainous than just this in bad taste look, I kicked a puppy? So, yeah, I get where you're coming from with that. I mean, Hansu is actually not a terrible villain.

I think he's actually pretty good. He's interesting and really creepy and all that stuff, but this part, as far as I know, this guy's a senior leader at Riot Games. This guy probably helped direct or help figure out the storyboard for Arcane, which is great. I don't understand. Maybe older days? I don't know. Maybe older days? And maybe they specifically told him, like, look, we need some real degenerate shit.

Like, we need you to go over the top overboard. And, you know, it was just, it was the worst thing you could think of, I guess. Yeah, I don't I don't know It's it's just so Yeah It's an incredibly poor taste And that's why I don't like it

Like is it the most fucked up thing in 40K That I've read Probably Yeah But I mean it's I don't know Like your your definition of gross Is dependent on

What you deem Bad I think everybody would find this gross Though I don't think anybody Agreed Tame. Just, that's some bitch shit.

I don't think anybody's going to be in that part. But, hey, at least, at least now we know. Because up until this point, I had no idea what the demon kilbasa was. And I'd be like, hey, a person that knows 40K, what's this demon Kula? And they're like, no, DK, we don't talk about that. That's where 40K took it too far and it's too gross. And we don't talk about that. Do you agree?

Yeah. Yeah. All right. It's, it's, it's, it's pretty gross. It's pretty over the top. It's probably too far. It's, it's probably more in bad taste, like you said. Yeah.

It's, it's the nature of it. That's the worst part. Like, am I going to lose sleep over it? No. No. Do I like it? No. No.

Also, did you know that Uriel Ventress actually got a model like five months, or like a year ago? Is it dope as hell? He's got a horrible haircut. Um, it's fine. He looks like an ultramarine. Yeah. I guess with like the new, with newer models, I just expect like a lot of like, you know, pomp and circumstance. But it's, he's a space marine.

Oh, did you see the new inquisitor model that came out today? Uh, no, I did not actually. Shy posted. Yeah, shy post it. It's so good. I'm so hype on a happy note. We'll end it on a happy note. New model, yay!

I'm still glad we did this episode so we could, you know, understand it. And whoa, that's cool. He's stabbing a cursed book. Yeah, and it's got that green flame with a, with a ghoul face coming out of it. Look at the back of his fucking robes. Yeah. Like, Malius officiato imperial. Oh, my God, it's so cool.

Oh, that is so dope. I would fuck painting that up so bad. Same. Does his sword say exterminatus on it? It does. Let's go That's such a cool model Holy shit

Yay we ended on a high notes Yay Give Iron Warrior Hanzu a model games workshop He might be a sick fucker But that would make a dope model With his living metal arm Oh yeah with his living metal arm

That'd be so cool Ah But yeah Give him a damn model games workshop Yep Also I guess before we end We should again

Thank everybody that supported our Patreon Because this episode happened Because y'all got it up to 15,000 for a month. So without support from viewers like you over at patreon.com slash adept is ridiculous. And obviously everybody that's watching this on YouTube or whatever or listening to it on any of the podcast channels doesn't happen without you.

So congratulations. Now we know one of the worst things in 40K. You paid for this, you motherfuckers. Yeah, but we offered it. Yeah, we did. We did. Honestly, honestly, yeah, happy New Year. We really do appreciate all of your support, memes aside.

We'll figure out a new goal soon, but we got some exciting stuff coming in the new year, some new merchandise, some good book club stuff, even an art contest. Look out for that. And we'll get talking soon. So thank you all so much for watching. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. YouTube, if you demonetize this video, I guess I get it. Actually, they probably won't. They probably won't, though. We've been on a good streak so far, but even so. Even so.

Good luck. Oh, oh boy. Uh, bye. Bye. Bye.