Adeptus Ridiculous - Death Guard: ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING | Warhammer 40k Lore with PatStaresAt

Episode Date: February 24, 2021

https://www.patreon.com/AdeptusRidiculoushttps://www.adeptusridiculous.com/https://twitter.com/AdRidiculousSupport the show

Welcome, everyone, to another episode of the Adeptus Ridiculous Podcast. I'm one of your host, D.K. Diamantis, and today is going to be a ridiculously awesome episode because we are going to be covering the Death Guard. But before I pass it off to the superior host, Bricky, shout-up to all of our new patrons over at patreon.com slash adeptus Ridiculous. It has been blowing up. Thank you for all the support. Just recently released a really cool Sisters of Battle HD poster.

So head on over to patreon.com. I think you need to be at least the $15 tier, but every tier will get you stuff like Discord access. It'll get you blooper footage. It'll get you those posters. So definitely sign up today. And also, today's episode is extra special because we have our very first podcast guest, Pat Stairs at.

Welcome to the podcast, Pat. Hey, hey, guys, guys. I'm glad to be here. I only have one real question. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's up with Warhammer? What's up with Warhammer? Dude, what's the deal with Warhammer?

Like, what's the deal with it? Why's everyone taller than the other guy? It's just crazy. But you're here because today's episode is on the Death Guard. And you're big fan, Deathguard, right? I like Nergel stuff, man. I like it. You like the Stinky Boys?

I think he should. I should, he should reel it in a little bit lately. I think he's, think he's been doing a too bit of a too good job, but his aesthetic is just the coolest. It is, it is. I always like the models that have like the, their stomach is like a big mouth

with a flopping tongue hanging out of it. It looks very, very cool. But they're decaying, stinky, awful boys. I know nothing about them except apparently Typhus has a sick model. He fucks. He's kind of like Arabis. their Damon, Primark

dude is Mortarian and apparently he just straight up don't die. So I suppose now would be a good time to hand it over to Bricky, so you can tell us a little bit about Death Guard. Damn it, shy warned me about Pat. I didn't listen.

He's like, I'm going to be up there. I like Nergel. It's cool. I'm still a little tired, and Pat Pat stares at. Lafs out. Whatever the fuck. It stares at He stares at stuff He stares at stuff

He's gonna stare at some stinky ass boys Yeah Dude these guys are smelly And they have a nice grandpa You know they do You know actually That's a good segue Thank you there

I need to I need to memorize I need to memorize the goddamn Name of the Segway guy again Because I need to constantly use that meme Where is it? Dean Kamen Thank you Dean Kamen right there for that good ass, that good ass segue.

You know, I gotta be honest, after looking out a lot of Death Guard stuff, in the Tabletop world, they are a very recent faction. They came out at the start of 8th edition, which were a 9th edition right now, so like three or four years ago or something. And they kind of came out along with Gileman and like the Ultramarines. And so they were kind of dealing with each other and being a pain in the ass. But, you know, I never actually got into the Deathguard lore itself. And after doing this research, I gotta say, you know, I'm a bit of a nergal believer.

They actually have some really good lore. I'm quite impressed. I wasn't quite sure because my favorite chaos base marines factions were always the Alpha Legion and Emperor's Children. But I got to say, this is some pretty good shit. I'll need to reread some of that Folgram stuff to see if I'm in that Alfarious stuff or whatever the hell is going on with Alferius nowadays. But um... Emperor's children is Fulgrim? Yeah, uh, Slenashi based.

Okay, yeah, yeah, he's the pretty boy that everybody memes on for being a pretty boy? Well, they also meme on Sanguinius for being a pretty boy, but he dead. Yeah, kind of hard for him to hear. It's Fulgroom not dead, Fulgrim Big Snake. But, um, actually, before we get into the Death Guard, I think we should talk a little bit about Nurgle, just like in general. Okay. That might be a good idea. What do you say, Pat?

You want to learn about Grandpa? I'm actually just stuck back with you mentioning that the Death Guard came in with the Ultramarines, and my brain has just been going, man, I fucking hate the Ultramarine this whole time. I'm so fucking sick of the Ultramarines. That seems to be a common theme with people I talk to about Warhammer, because I'm fairly new Warhammer fan. It's usually like, oh, yeah, who's your favorite? It's like, as long as it's not Ultramarine, people are solid.

But it's like, as soon as you mention Ultramarine, a lot of people, God damn it I'm sick of them They can go get fucked unless you're Luton but Well Luton is a big fan Ultramarines people hate them I mean they as an army are fine It's whatever

It's the fact that there are more Named Ultramarine characters than there are Harlequin models Yeah they're overrepresented Because I'm a secondary To the core Like I don't play Warhammer I don't read Warhammer

Books or lore I just play the game and if they put out like a, you know, a show or whatever, I'd watch that, right? And ultramarines are just, like, it feels like every time you play a Donna War game, when you go into multiplayer, there's the Blood Ravens, which are the faction they created for Donovan, and then you click down number one. It's like, well, there's Ultramarines, the real player one. Oof.

Always, always number one. Yeah, it's not a problem with Ultramarines. It's a problem with games workshops selling too much Ultramarines. Gotcha. They've oversaturated the market with Ultramarines and now everyone's sick of it. Gotcha. They just released literally a week ago another Ultramarines named character. I'm not kidding.

I mean, he looks okay. It's just for his terrible haircut. But anyway, let's talk a little bit at Nergel. There's actually a fun chance that I never, when I clicked on the Nurgel wiki page right now, I never read this before. But it's, I don't even know how to pronounce this. It's B-U-B-O-E-S-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-Bos. Something like that. Sure.

Bubos. Yeah, sure. Flem, blood and guts, boils, bogeys, rot and pus, blisters, fevers, weeping sores from the wounds, the fester pores. Chants sung by plague bearer demons during battle.

Wow. They're very strange. So, Nurgel, Nergel is known by lots of things. Obviously, he's a chaos god. He was, you know, in a sense, we believe that he always existed, but he gained his massive

of bloat, no pun intended, during the war in heaven, just like Zinchen Kornden, and now he's way stronger, and his realm is way bigger than used to be. But he's known as lots of things, Lord of Pestilance, Lord of Decay, Grandfather Nurgle is a pretty common one, and he represents all kinds of stuff, disease, decay, despair, death, anything that involves just like the breaking down and decomposition of stuff. of rot and and all that kind of thing. But the reason I want to mention Nurgel a lot because, you know, the chaos gods themselves don't have a physical form.

Like you can kind of guess what they might look like, but they don't actually have a physical being. They've never been in like the material realm. But Nurgel in his own right, like the gods are like beings. They're not like in real world, you know, like people pray to a god or a deity or whatever. and obviously, no, they believe in like divine invention, that kind of stuff, but like, Nurgle is like a physical, like, threat. He will talk to people.

He will, he will fuck things up. He's like, he is as much a character as he is like a god. He's both. So he intervenes? Plenty. Plenty. Nurgle himself, Zinch, uh, corn. They all legitimately like do lots of stuff.

Not just kind of being like, but not just like like a DNA. you would pray to or something like they are legitimate forces they got their hands in the cookie jar yeah like like i mean you know in in modern day religion there's the discussion that you know that there are forces and stuff but like like there is there is no uh questioning it in the terms of nergel like yeah it's everyone believes it's it's a uh something that i would joke about with uh woolly on our podcast where it's like you know the belief in whatever particular deity on earth is one thing. But if I was a believer in, I don't know, Thor,

and then Thor came down and fucking pointed to the tree and it exploded in lightning and then said, hey, here, you can do it too and gave me magic fucking powers. There'd be a lot more Thor worship around. Yes. Then the emperor was... Then the emperor was like, hey, don't do that.

Don't do that. And then they did it. And they did it anyway. So I think our story, if you guys are ready to get going, we can start off with the Death Garden and then where their beginnings entail. So I was curious, how did Nergel's little section of the warp, like, bloat? Because, like, was Slinish the one that, like, the Eldar murder fuck so much that he would just blowed it up and he just went crazy and then he just big sucked them all into oblivion or something? Yeah, so, like, what we mentioned before, there's always, there's always, there's always, there's. There's that thing where a lot of us just don't really understand the warp because that's kind of one of those things that you don't want over-explain because then it becomes a problem.

But the warp is assumed that it's always like the the yin and the yang to the material world. We're living in the material world. The warp is the opposite of it. And in the immaterial, that's like where souls go, where all your thoughts go, all that stuff. And there's tons of places in the warp. But there was an area way back when called the Realm of Chaos. and it existed the chaos gods, Corrin, Zinj and Nurgel.

And what happened is that, you know, the necrons were like, yo, genocide, Yahoo! Went out and had their like, God knows how long war with the old ones where they committed just horrible atrocities and in the trillions people were murdered. And it's just this like magnitude of death

is what sent so many souls to the warp and then kind of bloated those main three. up. Because a lot of times now the warp is like, if you're in the warp, you're going to get murdered by demons. The idea was way back in the day. If you were in the warp, you were just in the warp, don't go to the demon ghetto section of the warp. Like, don't go down the demon alley. But now, now we've gone from the bad alley in Boston to like, like, this is all Compton. Like, it's, the warp is all fucked now. All right, all right. That's the good analogy. I like it. That's the best I got right now. I just see the, the,

the marine ship entering the warp with a big sign that says you're now entering Detroit or Philly. Hey, hey, I like, I like Philly. My mom's side's from Philly. I'll do Detroit. I'm down for Detroit. Detroit, yeah, I think we're all down with Detroit, yeah. That's an easy one. Philly is like, Philly is like going in like a dark LDAR.

Go through combat, actually. Well, that's great praise for a town. Yeah, it's great. It's more dark Eldari, so it's a little better. It's like, wait a minute. It's not a compliment. No. Well, it is to them. They're like, yeah, we're doing well. So, let's start off way back. Let's talk Mortarium. So, Mortarian, he's also known as the pale king or the death lord or the prince of decay. Because, you know, fuck it. Back, so I'm not sure, I know you know when this DK, but just as Pete doesn't.

Also known as a class of ancient Roman pottery kitchen vessels. What the fuck? Mortarium was a class of ancient Roman pottery vessels. They're hemispherical or conical bowls commonly with heavy phalanches. Well, I mean, in all fairness, shy does have a picture in the recording studio chat of Nergel next to this big pot that he's stirring around like a, I don't know, yeah, sure. That's so sweet they named the chaos man after this bowl. Yeah. That's where they got it.

I guess you could say we're all bowled over by that. This screams like this. taking like a Latin root word like mort for death and just going what if we added Aryam to it oh Pat oh I'm so sad that you don't know a lot about games workshops naming nomenclature well I know that they're British that's like all of it it's all of that so you got to read all of it with like a like a silly voice like I mean one of the dudes we're talking about oh god what the dudes are talking about his name is Arabis you know Arabis is like Greek you know

I do There's Horace You know Egyptian Yeah yeah That's funny Anywho with the bulls out of the way Mertarian So way back when

Remember the emperor Made the 20 primarks Right and then And then Zinche or somebody was like Yoink And just yeated them out into different areas Now Mortarium Did not draw a good straw

So he was yeated to a plan known as Barbarus. And Barbaris was a hunter-gatherer world, completely stricken by a massive, heavy poisonous fog. And it was ruled by necromancer Zenos race, or like a mutant necromancer race. The humans that were there were the submissive group, constantly stuck in little valleys that weren't poisonous.

Because it was kind of one of those things, like the higher up you go, the worst the poison. And in this group, of just mat like because they were constantly fighting each other the subservient humans were always like being kind of belittled and they were the running away group where the the the necromancer mutant guys were constantly fucking them up and eventually in a giant pile of of dead human bodies this one guy um that one of the major zenos overlords saw a crying baby who was just fucking wailing his ass off and this baby was like in the poisonous fog that was should

absolutely have killed him. And so this guy was like, huh, that's weird, and took him in. And it named him Mortarian, or child of death. And now, Mortarian, he kind of wanted to like understand his purpose and stuff. So after years,

years of being raised by this like necromancer mutant Zenos guy, eventually he was like, nuh, I'm tired of this. I want my own answers. Because he was basically raised in a cage. He was basically like raised as a prisoner. So he eventually broke free from this weird Zenos palace.

And he saved a bunch of caravans or like a caravan of humans who were about to be. Sorry, wait. Is he a baby when he breaks three? No, no, no. This is after he's been like raised for a long time. Like many, many years. All right. No, he wasn't a baby.

I'll pretend he was a badass though. He takes this like rattle. He just like cracks the fucking bar of his cell. No, after enough time, like the Zeno's. guy, like, raised him, kind of like a, made him like a warrior, taught him lots of things, made him as much smarter. But then eventually, he kind of

realized to himself, like, hey, this is bad deal. So he broke free, and he found a bunch of humans that were actually being shepherded up the mountain to be used for experiments. And he saved their lives because he, you know, he wanted to save the humans' lives. And one of them was a guy named Callis Typhon,

which, you know, sounds a lot close to, like, Typhus. Yeah, that sounds like. Interesting. Coincidence. But a lot of the people that he saved considered that he was, he had like a freak. He had no hair

of any kind. He was pale as fuck and his skin was all crackled. Like he had like permanent chapped lips. Like he was that kind of looking guy. He was all, he was like super pale. Yeah, he was just, it looked like it was super sickly. He's just not a very, he's a

very unattractive man. Mortarian might be on the list of like worst looking prime marks in terms of like attracted this. Yeah, he doesn't sound, he doesn't sound well. No, he was raised on a poisonous. He's... Oh, fulgroom-like character. He's...

Oh, fulgroom. Oof, not even a contest. Yeah. But to prove his worth, because the humans didn't really trust his ass, because he came from the Zeno's group. So to prove his worth, he killed a whole bunch of people trying to kill the humans, a bunch of mutative enemies and other necromancer dudes

with this really big harvesting scythe, which is kind of where he started using that Scythe is like his main weapon. So as time went on, and years past, he trained his group of humans. Now kind of like this revolutionary outcast

group, right? He trained them, taught them in battle, he taught them how to be really good with like combat and their doctrines, and they eventually were kind of became his quote unquote death guard. That was how he kind of named. Hey, it's the words.

Hey. It's the word of the day. Death, those are two words. Whatever. You get the ending. So he kind of created this little group of Barbarus. And with this whole group, they kind of really understood the idea of like really big resilience, right? Like super, super good. And withstanding the horrible, horrible climate of Barbarus and the poison and dealing with the enemies.

And eventually, after some time, he really cleaned house. In fact, helping them constantly gain resistance to like the poison and stuff. The only place he could not take over him was. the highest peak, the highest mountain in all of Barbarus, where his current adoptive father still resided. Right, because the poison is so much worse up there, right? The stankiest higher up. Yeah, the higher up you go is just so much more difficult to deal with.

So eventually, there's dude arrived. I'll give you three guesses. Oh, this dude arrives? Yes, dude. Representative from the Imperium. Close. The emperor arrived. Oh, just straight up

Ems showed up? Oh, yeah, well, he was doing his big great crusade and he was like finding his primaries. Oh, that's right, okay, that makes sense. He got, yeah. He was certainly from the Imperium. So, the emperor arrived at Mortarium. And Mortarian was seeing this like,

clad in golden armored demigod. And he was kind of not stoked by it. Because he was looking at him and he was like, like he has this this the death guard mortarian has this idea of like the chains that go around your ankles are the greatest

sin like being subservient is worse than death this very this is like huge hatred of that because all the humans were basically like servants and that sounds terrible for like a military power structure being in chains is worse than death

yeah yeah But well being like a slave Maybe not like sorry that's a bad way to put yeah not like being below someone But like yeah being forced to serve someone you dislike well that still doesn't work either but don't be a slave. Yeah basically any kind of slaves or chain like you know binding slavery is bad got it slavery is bad Mortarian is pretty woke so with a woke terium he basically will talk to He talked to the emperor, and the emperor gave him this kind of ultimatum,

because he said, hey, listen, buddy, if you have proven yourself strong enough and powerful enough, and if you can go up there and kill your father, your adoptive father, whoms do you hate so much, I will leave, and you can do what you want. But if you can't, you will all serve me and my imperium. And that was kind of the way the emperor tried to get more tarian on his side. And so Mortarian was like, yo, fuck you, dad, not the emperor, the other dad. Well, kind of fucking both, am I being honest. So he made his way up the mountain.

And before he was even able, like, he was a couple of steps away from the front gates, his armor just started like corroding and rotting off of it itself. He started like, his skin started like, started slowly, like crack and flay. And he was just kind of outside the gates, like just miserable and, like, screaming for his adoptive father and like to get down here and and fight him but he was just that he was just not you know that part in sponge bob where Patrick is in like the sandy's domes and he's like you'll be fine he starts like coughing because he has no air and he's like what kind of place is this no are we are we are well so i'm not a big sponge bob

fan oh my god are we are we connecting SpongeBob and the Death Guard Mortarium right now? It's all there, man. I like the metaphors. They've not seen it before. God damn it. Does Shai at least know this part? Please tell me you know this part. How do you

not know those parts? Someone's got to know this part. I bet you our listeners know exactly what you're talking about. I just, I never watched SpongeBob. It was after my time, man. After your time? Yeah. It's ongoing right now. Is it? Yeah, still make it episodes.

You know what? I never liked it. All right? Well, Sponge Boy Me Bob. Let's go serve Nergel. So anyway, now we found out who's really sick. I've got the Suds. I wish you don't get either because you don't watch Spongeb. Okay. Basically, he was getting up there, going up to talk to his adoptive dam,

and then good old, good old emps just kind of stepped his way up there with absolutely no fucking respite or care. and just sliced his dad's head into and was just like one swipe of his sword and so naturally you know now they have to serve the emperor because he couldn't do it himself

Mortarian couldn't and the emperor just like easily walked his way up and killed him however Mortarian was not not happy about this he like there was nothing more important to him than proving himself better than his adoptive father to show how far he's come and just how much stronger he was.

In fact, I'm actually, unfortunately, having to really, like, lower this because, like, lower the importance of this. Because, like, this is a pretty big fucking deal, but obviously we're adept as ridiculous, not adept as everything. But, like, em's, like, stealing his kill is so, so pivotal in Mortarian's grudge. Because Mortarian had this long-going grudge with the emperor because of that. was not happy. Right. This feels like a guy looking at this situation going, like literally dying of poison on the ground going, I could have done that if I wanted.

You didn't have to do, you know. I hear no bell. I had that under control. A little bit, but I think he would have rather just left and kept on trying to get stronger and try again. Like, it's less about getting it then more. about just being able to do it proving himself better

so Ems thought he was gonna go in there kill the adoptive father and then Mortarium was just gonna be like oh well yeah sure you did it man you're so strong I love you wow look at this guy he's a fucking badass wow he's so cool but really Mortarium was just like

you motherfucking kill Steeler would not sort of grudged him forever sort of the emperor probably knew he couldn't do it which is why he was like hey you could do it, I'll leave you alone, but if you can't, you're joining me. And he saw him, like, he was like on his hands and knees. And his dad was actually came out of the gates to go kill Mortarian.

And so the emperor just kind of stepped up after that and was like, nah. So he kind of knew what was going to happen. But Mortarian really wanted that kill. But anyway, now that they're part of the Imperium, they took a whole bunch of people from Earth. and kind of took us like he brought a lot of guys with him the emperor to like supply the space marine legions and so in the beginning he had like a big amount of terran terran earth uh space marians with him but mortarium naturally wanted his uh barbados or barbarous kind of guys all my stinky boys yeah he wants his own boys they were they were trained under him they're his friends so he made them

i forget the actual name because the death guard had a different name beforehand but mortarian renamed his Space Marine Legion to the Death Guard, and he bolstered up a huge amount of his numbers using his barbarous guys. And, oh, was it Dusk Raiders? No, I think Dust Graders was the name of the Barbarist Group. It doesn't matter. Point being to the Death Guard now. And before he set out to do his Great Crusade, he says, and I quote,

You are my unbroken blades. You are the Deathgarb. By your hand, shall justice be delivered. doom shall stock a thousand worlds. And guess who became first captain? Um, the, the, the, the, Calus, bro. Yeah, typhus.

Our boy, typhus, first captain, typhus of the death guard. So, with this, he set off on his great crusade. And if we remember the Great Crusade, it was when each Primark would have to make a whole bunch of worlds for them and to, you know, really get more things for the emperor. Remember Lorgar was doing really bad at it because he was. turned everything into a fucking church. Yep. And then he got wrecked.

Yep. Hard. So Mortarian believed, like I said earlier, shackling humanity, anyone who has that concept is to be outright destroyed. And any kind of barbarism like that is the greatest sin of all.

And he truly built up his death guard to be insanely tanky. Just extremely tough. They're genetically really good at stopping things like, like poison. or like bioweapon attacks because of their old home planet. They're just super disgustingly resilient,

which is a joke because on the tabletop game, they have a special rule called disgustingly resilient. Oh, yeah. So that's the thing. It gives them like minus one damage. It's actually really good. But disgustingly resilient was the whole idea behind his death garb. And basically with the like prevailing conditions on barbarous,

And it was like having so many different like foul beings of like the mutants and stuff still kind of stalking in different areas There was a constant Talk from the earth based space Marines that they were like Maybe we should have just like euthanized or you know just like removed all of the people on barbarous to a cleaner world So they wouldn't have that much of an issue and so their future generations can be happier And Mortarian was like excuse me excuse me the fuck but that planet's a shithole dude

it is but he's like excuse me it's my shit hole it makes him super resilient too right isn't that the whole point because they're there they're like super resilient and they don't have to it's like jeans you know like so many generations of having to do with a fucking planet

of poisonous fog you just get really good at it you know it's a good thing everyone else was like dude, just leave it. And he's like, no, I like it. And he believes that the warriors that come from Barbaris are just straight up stronger.

We haven't talked about Katachin yet, but there's like an Imperial Guard world called Katachim. It's basically a jungle where every single plant and animals is carnivorous. Oh, yeah, you've mentioned that before. Yeah, they're all like Rambo. They're all like really fucking big meathead looking dudes just like through generations

of having to live on this planet, you know. Like, you know, like, you know, Darwinism, that whole deal. Yeah, evolution. Yeah, evolution, that's the word. That's the word. I'm too good. I got the stinkies going to my brain. But through time, there came, became kind of like a rift between like the Earth Death Guard and the barbarous death guard, right?

And if Mortarian could only have barbarous troops, he would. But he doesn't. However, do you remember the Battle of Isvon 3? The Battle of Isvon 5 was the war. the drop site massacre. I remember that one. Pat, do you know this one? I don't know what you're talking about.

Okay, so, okay, so we only got to worry about Isabon 3 then. So this is the part, if D.K., it reminds you, and to our viewers, is the part where Horace was like, okay, there's about one third of our group that's still emperor worthy. We're going to send them down to this planet and then virus bomb them. Yeah. So basically, yeah, it's like, oh, damn. They found me out. I was really loyal to the emperor, and now I'm going to bomb you.

Bye-bye, loyalists. So, actually, before we jump into that real fast, Moratarian and Horace, specifically during the Great Crusade, were both really good tacticians. Basically, the idea was that the super resilient deathguard would go in, where the enemy down, draw their fire, and then Horace would just come in for the kill. And they were really good at it.

They grew rather close, actually. Really close. Mortarium was this weird, pale, hairless man with a breathing apparatus and a big scythe. And Horace was one of the only primarks who was like, hey, you're my buddy. You're my brother. I love you, man. And because, you know, Horace was awesome before everything went downhill. So by a time Horace had his issue and running with Erebus and such, like having Mortarian swap sides to Horace to help with the heresy did not take much convincing. Oh yeah.

He already... He already hated the emperor for what he did. And he was tired of the damn Earth troops. Like it didn't take much convincing to just get him on his side to eventually be a part of the heresy. So, naturally, when they did Isfant 3, that one third of the Death Guard army, that one third that was from Terran that were Earth dudes, were the ones that were sent down to the planet's surface and then virus bombed into oblivion. Yep, I have no problem seeing that one.

That, like you said, it probably wasn't a long conversation. It was like, you want to fuck up the emperor? Yep. Yep. And also, yeah, it's actually a great thing that I didn't really mention that Shai greatly reminded me of. Mortarian disdains psychers. Like, he hates them. He hates them.

And also, it's mainly because the dudes on his planet, the necromancer, They were necromancers because they were often like psycher based or like warp magic. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So they used them to make the people subservient. And when Horace went to the, said the emperor used the warp and stuff and was a psycher, Morty was like, wow, I knew it. What a douche. Yeah, I mean, just when you think that he probably couldn't hate the emperor more than he did, oops, all warp magic. Oops, all psychers.

Yes. So basically more terrible. and sent down that one third to the ground and virus bombed the shit out of them. However, there was a slight issue where that one dude, Nathaniel Garrow, he was part of that death guard ship and he was able to flee and warn everybody.

That was like the big move that really helped out. Long story short on that one is that basically Typhus was like A, I found this cool rival guy named like Grulgor. What the fuck his name is? He's like a rival Tagaro. and Gruel Gore was super, super like,

chaosy, and he decided to put them both on the same ship as the Garo guy, just in case because he didn't trust the Garo guy, but Grugel was found out and murdered, and then the Garo guy fled, and Typhus tried to get him, but he wasn't able to. But, yeah, basically, if that Nathaniel Garrow guy didn't escape the Deathguard ship, the Einstein, this is a huge deal, but I've already talked about it. If he didn't escape it, like,

emperor may have lost, Because the ability to warn everybody was a huge deal. Like he fled and he told everyone like, yo, people are turning. And without that, they may have been like woefully unprepared for the upcoming. Hey, bro, you might want to take a look at your boy, Horace. It's being a little bad, a little mean. He's a little mean, yeah, just a little. He got stabbed and some douchebag named Aravitz was like, yo, here's the future, man.

Except his, he didn't see his future No, because he didn't have a future. Ooh. So, let's talk about typhus a little bit. So, quote, unquote, Typhus, the traveler. Look upon me and know that I can slay you at will. You have no defense save one to look into the darkness at the back of your own mind. There you will find Father Nergel waiting to offer you life

in return for your submission. Deny him and you are mine. So Typhus, unfortunately, was born a psycher. Now, he, unfortunately, being a psycher, would have lots of problems.

He would, things would like smash around and move when he's walks by. Like plants would just wither and die with a glance. He grew up not in a great state. Because, well, yeah. And he was also, you know, kind of stuck in a valley of a poisonous planet. And things weren't great for good old Typhi. The Death Guard naturally, because they hated Cyprus so much, he had to hide this.

He had to hide his potential the best he could. But Typhus, once he became a Marine, he was so good in battle. He also had like a little sight. I think he called the Man Reaper. And he was fantastic. I know, right? I know. Yeah, that's a, that's a name for a, for a weapon.

Well, I mean, at least it's, like, Mortarian's sight that's called Silence. See, that's kind of, like, edgy, like, I get it. That's classy, I like that. Yeah, that's a classy name. Man Reaper is just like, what are you, 14? Like, you just first. Typhus had to hide himself. No one understood him.

Baby's first trip to Hot Topic, I'm going to get the, I'm going to call it the Man Reaper. Typhus, the Lord of the Destroyer Hive. Hose is the Destroyer Hive. Sorry, that's his full title. So, he actually was pretty selflessly heroic. In fact, one time, he saved an entire group of Sisters of Silence, which are the ones that make Cykers want to kill themselves, by jumping on a grenade that jumped near them.

And it blew up in his chest, and after a week in the hospital, he was able to make himself out. but he, a psycher, went to those people that make you want to, like, claw your eyes out by being just even near them, and he jumped on a grenade, literally. Like, what a cool guy. That's pretty cool.

He doesn't sound like a, like the fucker that I've been led to believe that he is. Also, how did he even, like, can you, if you're a psycher, can you function around those sisters? Absolutely not. Or does it just make your mind go wonky? Okay, so. Absolutely not. They completely nullify everything. They make it really, really bad.

Even in game, you can't even like hit them with psychic power. It's like it's impossible. You are unallowed to. It's pretty nutty. But he, at some time, Typhus, he met with somebody. You want to guess who that somebody is? Who Typhus met with? Yeah. It's who you think it is. It's who I think so I'm it's it's kind of either like Mortarium or Horace I guess oh no no no it was Arabis oh it was Arabis of course of course of course it's Arabis he's back his Arabis is here it's the return episode how could I not how could I not now I'm gonna look up

Arabis is a fucker yeah Arabis is the worst fucker everything that is wrong is partially Arabis's fault yeah basically Arabis gave Horace a vision of chaos that turned him chaos he he screwed up like lorgar which made him really angry like I would say that the person whose greatest fault it is is lorgar and the emperor for why

everything went to shit but good old Arabis is pretty up there on the blame also it's all his fault God easy or it's also Magnus's fault but that's a what Magnus did nothing wrong stop it I've heard that one before yeah by no

and most most of the internet. But Typhus, basically he joined Arabis in this thing he had called the Seven Pillar Lodge, and Arabis showed him a vision of what he could be if he stopped hiding his psychic powers and he stopped hiding his potential. And he saw himself at the height of what he could do and not being constrained by the hypocrite of an emperor saying that never to use psychic powers when he himself is using psychic powers and all this stuff. And he's like, yeah, yeah, it's about right. Emperor was kind of a bad dad. Yeah, he was worst dad of ever. Just the worst dad period. He's pretty up there on bad dad medals.

But so naturally at that point, after that Arabis meaning, that's really when he was like, okay, I'm not serving the emperor or mortarian. I'm serving someone new. so that's where he probably truly actually went over to chaos and then after that after that whole situation with garro and grulgore and all that crap and basically the ispon three virus bombing typhus took it upon himself to murder all of the navigators aboard the ship and the navigators are the guys who just you know they like to see through the warp and they allow them to make their way around you know pretty standard stuff.

Unfortunately, by killing them all, now, of course, Mortarian loathed psychers, but they needed to move. They needed to get out there because it was... You gotta fly the fucking ship, man. Yeah, it was wartime. Like, right after this happened, they went to go do the drop site massacre,

and then right after that was like the siege of terror. Like, they got to scoot! So, basically, Tyvus was like, hey, hey, Mortarian, I am a psycher, you know? You know this. I've been keeping it like kind of under Raspel. I can fly the ship.

Don't worry. And I'm cool. You know me. Yeah. Yeah. You're like a good friend. You know, I look a little bit greasy, but I don't look that bad. You know, get a little bit of a, get a couple of shaves.

I can look all right. And so, Bertagnan was like, eh, fine, whatever. Fucking do it. Fucking do it, doom. And this is truly the giant turning point of the death guard. because navigating into the warp, typhus threw them directly into the hands of Nergel himself. Oh, did he? He did.

He helped navigate them through the warp directly into the grasp of Grandfather Nergel. And right as that happened, this is truly like what's known as the doom of the death garb. The entirety of the legion was subjected to a horrible infection called the destroyer plague and Nergles rot and these big, fat, dog-sized flies buzzed through the entirety like a fog through all the ships, stinging and biting different kinds of the warriors. And their flesh turning into like a jelly. The venom sting caused their flesh to boil and have gross. Their bellies started to grow yellow and break through their armor. like jaundice and to stand.

Their eyes would like run out of their sockets like an egg. Their power armor would be grafted on their arms. They spawn boils and like full body scabs and pus. But the worst part

about this whole thing is that well two things. One, typhus got the best of it. He was rewarded heavily. He's swelled up huge. His skin fused to his armor.

Giant funnels of bone came from the back of his body and poured out thousands of flies, gnawing at his the inside of his of his body. And he now is basically a moving, walking a hive of insects,

which is why he's called the Destroyer Hive. It is super nasty. It is super nasty. I didn't know he turned into a literal walking hive. Yep, that's why he's host of the destroyer hive. Yeah, I, well, I, you know, now the name makes sense.

He's nasty. He is nasty. There's their gigantic, like, like, it literally looks like smoke with the thickness of flies and, and bugs that can fly towards you. And they, imagine an entire cloud, but like a cloud where it just looks like smoke from a fire, but it's actually a bunch of tiny wasps that are coming in there to give you, like, AIDS.

Oh, yeah, I'm good, man. Typhus is very good. He's stoked. He is so stoked. I was going to say, what are the, what are the bugs that come out of him actually, do they just, like, give you, like, disease and rot and make your skin melt, or, like, is there a specific, like, tabletop?

Well, you might talk about the tabletop stuff later. Yeah, I could mention that a little bit, but overall, it basically, it just, like, melts through anything, flesh eating, just like pestil, like, typhus loves to have tons of contagions. He loves having

millions of different kinds of diseases. He likes to experiment. He's all about it. But, of course, you really don't want to meet typhus on the battlefield. You really don't. Fuck, no. No way. He alone has caused so many problems.

Jeez. But with all of this, there was one horrible aluminum lining. All right. So the biggest issue that possessed itself in this situation was that the death guard being the death guard were so damn resilient. And so taking up this entire amount of rot and pain and stuff, they weren't dying. They were being transformed and deformed and fucked with, but they wouldn't die. So it was just this constant never-ending pain. and

Mertarian was there and he was watching this whole thing and Nurgle himself reached out and was like Pledge yourself to me and I will make it stop Boy, that's a hard one to refuse

He certainly didn't And so with that Mortarian not just pledge him Like pledge the Legion to him But I pledge himself Mortarian himself And so with that, he said yes. He pledged his allegiance to Papa Nurgel,

and Mortarian offered his soul and the soul of all of his sons of the Death Guard into the Immaterial for deliverance from an eternity trapped in the warp, constant unbearable pain. So with that, they all eventually left the warp as plague marines and the new Death Guard. Mortarium is sprout of these giant,

giant wings. He's fucking huge now. He was like elongated. The wiki says he was a lot like it was stretched on a rack Like the old torture device. Yeah, yeah. He was still obviously quite pale, but He like with all the new bugs and disease now the death guard had truly become this entire like walking pestilence It was yeah, really nasty. I have I have seen Mortarium after he after they go plague and he is uh he's he's wild I mean he's pretty cool the hood the giant crazy

infected wings he's wild I if I had any confidence in my painting I would absolutely buy a mortarium mini he's a big fucker right so yeah he would be a great option

in terms of uh being able to paint that bastard I really like his model a lot What's up? For clarification. So the way Nurgel's diseases work, he wasn't going to suddenly uninfect all those dudes. It just made it so that they would be functionally adequate and also it wouldn't hurt anymore. Is that basically it?

Yeah, basically. Well, if they were stuck in the warp, it would basically be them there for, like, forever, for eternity constantly having their bodies fucked with by Nergels. Rott's Rots and Diseases, and basically by agreeing, they sold their souls in exchange to stop the pain. Honestly, Death Guard, both in lore and in game, they feel almost no pain. But they're still very icky and stinky, yeah. They're still horrendously gross, but they're very much not like, they're not really suffering anymore. That's kind of why they always talk about, like, Papa Nurgle's gifts.

because with the gift of this pestilence and decay you no longer feel pain and you no longer like have a fear of death because you're like unending your stagnation so yeah it's it's that's one of the cool things about chaos is that like chaos is both the good and the bad

Papa Nurgel is all about disease rot pestilence but he's also about like like the end and acceptance you know that kind of thing so yeah the chaos god do give you a bump like the deal isn't for nothing you know just so long as do they have you

under their foot yeah like Mortarian is strong as shit he's like he's like the main demon prince of Nurgle he's like his number one uh like subservient guy so did Typhus navigate them in a Nergel like on purpose because

Arabis told him to absolutely no Typhist did himself he was like I'm gonna do it oh oh okay got you. I wasn't clear if that was like a mistake. If he meant to do it, if Arabis was like, hey, you know if you do it, Nurg will make you super strong and they'll turn you into a hive or something.

Oh, no, he kind of knew that would happen because he knows, he's already like, he was already a servant of Nurgel basically at that point. But he was, yeah, he did it on his own. He was like, I'm going to do it. He didn't even need Arabis. He's like, I'm going to steer them dead into Nurgel and I'm going to

deliver my whole legion to Nurgel. so he will reward me with power and that's exactly what he did. Damn. Was there ever any beef between Mortarium and Typhus? Well, right now is a lot of beef.

I was gonna say because Mortarium probably wasn't savvy to what Typhus was doing? He was not because he just stayed in Cyker so much which is a bit ironic because Mortarian is a psycher now because of the demon primark transformation. But yeah, he's

He, there's a lot of beef right Right now. They, I think Mortarian fucking hates him. But, but obviously there's still, they still work together so there's no real options. But like, okay, so actually this this segues pretty well. I forgot the guy's name again, damn it.

Dean Kamen. Dean Kamen, thank you. So he basically, like, we got to the Horacee heresy, right? They pop out, they try to help with the Horace heresy. Things don't work. We all know that thing Horus dies, etc.

So then all of the legions, the chaos legions start fleeing. But the Death Guard in particular flee very like calmly. They make their way out and they head right towards the eye of terror, which is that like zipper into real space, you know? And he heads in there, slowly making his way. And then he is eventually gifted a planet in the immaterial by Nergel. he has created the plague planet which is its own entire planet

dedicated to Mortarian and the Death Guard inside the warp because the warp has planets and shit and that he basically rebuilt it in the image of Barbarus like molded into a copy of it this time though this time Mortarian sits

at the top of the tower where his adopted father used to be this is this is new throne which is kind of cool I was going to say Mortarine probably likes that. Oh, he never wanted to leave. He always wanted his soldiers from there, right? Now, I am the captain now.

He is literally the captain now. The irony that he's the one sitting on top of the throne that he wanted to kill his dad on. Well, he now has finally deemed himself the better. He now has taken the spot, so he is now better than his father ever was. So he feels quite content. The problem is that Typhus, like, Deathguard is very stagnant, right? Not much movement.

Yeah, that's kind of the point of the Death Guard. So he has his planet here, and he's content with just kind of chilling. And he'll occasionally send out forces to attack like Cadia, which eventually KDFA fell. But besides the more recent things with the Dark Imperium and him fighting Gilliman and stuff, he's just kind of, he's pretty chilling. He's just kind of doing his own thing. And Typhus is fucking infuriated by this. He's like, I gave you guys all these Nergel gifts, and you don't appreciate them,

and you're going to sit here and do nothing with them, you absolute buffoons? I'm out of here. So Typhus takes his horrible tumor of a ship and a big fleet, and he just kind of leaves to go spread disease wherever the hell he can because he thinks it's fun and he wants to do it. He wants to spread Papa Nergel's gifts out there. and Mortarian's like Yeah, whatever man He's actually kind of like that

He's like just okay fine Do what you want Do what you feel like But if I need you You come back I need you You get back here immediately I mean I can see how Mortarine wouldn't mind

Because I mean Typh is just going out And he's just fucking shit up I mean He's really fucking shit up Typhus is a absolute absolute like threat he is terrified and his ship

is disgusting his ship is gross I just posted the picture of it that's a cool ship it's a cool ship but that's such a nasty ship I think it's called the I think it's called the Terminus est

I think is what it's called a terminus est flagship of Typhus the traveler yep man these Latin names are just like the worst I know. I know.

It won't stop. Thanks. This is Games Workshop. It will never stop. Oh, man. It kind of looks like that ship's made of fur and I don't like it. Yeah, it was made of mold. Yeah, moldy fur.

I feel bad for the people who are listening and not watching, but it's, it looks literally like a flagship that has gigantic teeth and eyes and sores all over it with like a white brown mold fur all over it. It's really gross. You know if you're watching on the YouTube channel, you could probably see it. That's true, you probably would. Should probably post it. Yeah. But that kind of is where

the death guard are at right now. They've actually recently kind of come out again. Orterian has recently made his way out of the Eye of Terror and started to kind of get back into the swing of things and start helping lead more plague crusades. In particular, he's actually

created some kind of of horrible plague that has killed like four separate Necron tomb worlds, which is a huge blow to the necrons. Like losing a tomb world's a big deal. It's a big deal. Yeah. I didn't even know necrons could get sick. That's how,

that's why Nergel is so scary. He's, he's really, really nasty and his plagues can just like eat through everything. I think it's more the idea that like, it's less about getting sick, but, you know, a disease, right?

disease or a plague is a virus, it's an organism. And enough of these organisms can eat through anything. I think that's the whole, at least it's the concept. So it's more like they just kind of melted down the necrons. Not necessarily that they like infected them with a plague, but they just, there was so much of their shit that they just melted them. Possibly, I'm not 100% familiar, but I'm assuming there was some way they did it where they just kind of like, they kind of just like use the disease to scoge their way through all of it.

But, um, but now, yeah, now they're now, like right now, Typhus is on his horrible, disgusting crusade. Good old, uh, Mortarian is on his crusade and he's causing problems for people. Uh, Gilliman ain't happy. He came back and he's being, he's being a problem. It's, uh, right now their entire, entire point and world is to just create as much as much as, much death and decay as they possibly can. That is their entire, entire option. It seems like they're really good at their job. They are doing great at their job.

Business is abomin. This is absolutely a booming. It's kind of hard to describe the sheer level of like disease that Nurgel and Mortyreate and the death guard can provide. Like, I wish I could really put a, paint a picture of what this is like. But it's, imagine, did you guys ever watch that movie, the day the Earth stood still? I did not. Yes.

There's like a slight part where like the big robot guy turned into like a, like a fog. And whatever it ran into, it just like ate it up. Like, kind of like dismantled it. Oh, yeah, vaguely remember that. Like, actually, like, you know, like, the scarabs in, like, the mummy? And they would, like, they would, like, roll over someone and it would just be bones left. Right, right, yeah, yes. Imagine that, but, like, like, like, like, contagious.

Like, that, but flying, but bagillions and also, like, disease. It's, it's really difficult to truly explain how, how effective these guys are at just making sure everything rots. Geez. Well, I mean, they are plague marines, so... They are? They've got some pretty awesome models, like, the noxious blight bringer. Also, I never mentioned this. They have a sacred number. It's the number seven, because they're the seventh legion. And it's the number seven is the number of Nergel.

So a lot of their stuff revolves around seven. It's kind of cool. I have a question. And this might be a silly question, this deep into the podcast or series of podcasts. But it's something that I always wondered. So I'm looking at Mortarian, right? I'm looking at his plague boys. And they are, for all intents and purposes, space marines with bonus shit. Right.

Like, I'm a space marine. I have my boulder. I'm still a giant man, etc. Why is it that space marines are actually able to compete with just better space Marines? Well, because often they're not necessarily better in every way. Normally when you give, you take. And also often the space marines are naturally a very organized strike force, where

the plague marines are just kind of like, I don't want to say that they're not organized, but they're very much... Like, plague marines are very slow. They are incredibly slow. They are super fucking tanky, but they are they are super slow and their war gear and stuff isn't really like as powerful as opposed to them getting in on you and causing issues

it's weird because like the chaos themselves like while they do give they also take and also Marines like chaos space marines are not so easily replenished like it's very difficult if you want more chaos space marines you need to pretty much get more Marines turn to Nurgel's side, which is quite difficult.

When it comes down to just refilling more imperial stuff, like humans fuck a lot, man. Like, you have plenty of numbers. I think also, you know, plot armor, there's that. There's always a thing. But normally it is like a give and take. For instance, Slaneh is very fast and mobile, but they're always like melee.

They don't really have like great tech. tactics and such, because they're mainly just like go in there and murder people. Death guard, like I said, super slow. And also being such a powerful, like disease carrying kind of group, any ability that can help stave off infection or disease can actually be quite handy, even if it's very difficult. Like you might be able to stop off like a plague marine forest, but if mortarians there, you're so fucked. So their extra stuff kind of makes up for the fact that they can't really replenish themselves super easily.

Like the space marines are always going to have the numbers, but they're not going to have all the spiffy extra shit the chaos has. To an extent, yeah, their spiffy extra shit comes into the idea of war here. If you want to be a spiffy, fancy ultramarine, it's because you've got spiffy fancy ultramarine stuff, new tanks, new flyers, new, all this kind of thing. Like, the death guard don't really, I actually don't think the death guard have any, like, flying vehicles of any kind in their current codex. They might have some of the lore, but they have, like, maybe some tanks and stuff, but

it looks like their leader is as close to a flying vehicles they get. Pretty much, yeah, he's a flying monster, at least in, in terms of the game. I'm being totally honest, I'm assuming this is the reason they have a very difficult time replenishing their numbers, but because they're so insanely hard to kill, it's kind of like it's just like oh whatever it'd be too busted if they could easily replenish like a plague marie

yeah actually dark imperium was the name of when the death guard and the ultramarines kind of did their fighting it was actually in my opinion a pretty good part of the lore because Acadia just fell

and the Eye of Terror just got really big and like the Imperium was on the back foot they were they were like mortarian stuff were going through and they were killing a lot. You know how normally you see lots of artwork for GW and it's always the space marines winning or something? Yeah.

Not this time around. Not this time around. Death Guard were taking names. They were really going hard. And that really kind of create a pretty awesome bit of lore being able to watch as the Imperium like scrambles and falls back because normally they're always winning stuff just often due to their numbers. because a lot of people forget that the Imperium has

what literally might be a million planets That's a lot of planets. That's a couple. It's pretty insane. Does Mortarium have like an equal on the opposite side? Like can you fight him and have any chance of like winning?

Like is there a way to stop him? Okay. Do you mean in lore or in game? In lore. In game. There's got. be a way to stop him in game because then they would just throw with death guards and mortariums. There's not many ways.

So, okay, so I'll start with game first. Mortarian, I want to talk about this because mortarian, the death guard just got a new codex like a month ago. And they, I watched the most recent tournament game. And on the top four, three of them were death guard. First place was death guard. Second place was death guard. Third place was Harlequin's. Fourth place was death guard.

And first and second place, both had Mortarian in it. Normally, back in the day, Mortarian was kind of bad because, like, he would fuck. Don't give me wrong, he would fuck. But he wasn't tanky enough. Like, if you focused all of your guns on him turn one, he probably couldn't survive. And that was like 500 points down the drain.

That suck. It was really unfortunate. Now, I don't, I don't, oh my God, I don't know how you kill this guy. So at this point, he's almost 500 points and he's got a high toughness. He has 18, it's called wounds, it's health. He has 18 health. But then with a four-up Inval, on a four-up roll, every damage you take goes away. And then he has a built-in minus one damage.

So whatever you take, you take minus one damage. And then after that damage has gone through, you roll another dice. And on a five-up, there you don't take the damage. Like, wow. It is really fucking hard to kill Mortarian. He might be the tachiest model in my gross parts. You shot me in my in my in my puschule and now it's spit on you. I don't know anything about the tabletop and even I'm like wow that's fucking busted.

He's he's insane. He's got all of these extra powers and these giant oras of like disease and plague. In like lore, I suppose you could kill him in like the normal way where you take seven tanks and you shoot them at one time you know like there are plenty of lore ways in that sense that you could probably kill him but I mean you know he's a tactician. Is there not like

is there not planet annihilating technology in Warhammer? Oh there absolutely is they use quite a lot so yeah you just yeah he just hit him with that shit well he's that's the thing though is like you know he's a great general he's not going to let you if he sees you come and he's going to be like

I'm going to dip and it was even more annoying is the fact that like he's a demon primark. Demons come back. Like, if you forget, like, demons in the warp, if you kill the demon, it'll go back to the warp,

and it'll be respawned because they're a servant of the dark gods. If you kill Mortarian, it's a good chance. He's just going to come back and God knows how long. You might have a good couple hundred years of being safe from his ass, but... Oh, wow. So, like, if Mortarian is storming you,

do you just like what like it doesn't sound like you can do anything really like even if you kill him he comes back if he's there it's like well should we really waste the resources to kill him like do you just like fuck it abandon the planet let's just

whatever well it's the way what do you do you say like do I waste the resources you got to remember like like if you if America right now went to war with Russia or China or whatever the fuck right something like that

if they're attacking you if like I don't know the big like Spetsnaz or some like special forces we're attacking you your mind isn't in the thought process of like do I really care because you absolutely do like if Mortarian is attacking you

if Mortyrean's attacking you he's like he's going full force like you don't get the luxury to be like is it worth spending resources on this no it is absolutely worth spending resources on you've got to stop him he's a problem or he'll just take your planets.

It sounds like he's not unstoppable. Like it's just... At the very least you get some good hits in. Yeah. Well, even if it's considered good hits in because he's serving of Nergel. He just shrugs it. Like honestly, Mortarium, like, he's kind of taking what he wants right now

and there's not much stopping him. God. So if he just let a campaign, could he just like just wipe them all out? Oh, oh, God, no. There's like a million. So, actually, I look this up. They talk about, like, there's like a million worlds in the Imperium.

And a lot of us think, like, a million planets. Like, come on, right? But if you truly think about it, let's say there's like, for every star in the Milky Way, let's say there's one planet, just one. There's a hundred billion stars in the Milky Way. So it's not too far-fetched the idea. But also, GW doesn't understand, like, numbers. So there's also that.

But, like, the Imperium, there's so many fucking humans in this galaxy that Mortarian will lead his way out. He will take over planets. He will turn things to death guard. But he still does have to deal with tyrannids, orcs, necrons, other imperial groups. Tao even, even though he would make a mockery of Tao. Ah, nobody cares about the Tao. He can have them. Whatever.

I truly think, Do you really? Yeah, I think they're cool. I like their future space guns. The thing about Tao that makes them a little boring is lore-wise. The Tao, like, how do I explain it? If you are on one side of the Sahara Desert, the Tao will snipe you with a railgun from the other side of the Sahara Desert.

The reason why he's fighting the... This reason why Tao is always losing in, like, art, is because if they were winning, you wouldn't see them. They would use their insanely long-range mecks and weaponry from across the goddamn, like, pond, and they would shoot you. Their stuff is super long-range and accurate. That's what makes them tough. But if I'm being honest,

if the entirety of the death guard could not wipe out tau. They would wipe out a lot of tau, though. But not all of them, but they would do a number on the towel. If the Imperium wanted it, they could kill the entire. entire tau race. If they truly wanted to extinguish them, they couldn't. But it's not worth the resources. Because if you'd spend that many resources trying to kill the Tao,

then the necrons arrive. Then the orcs arrived. Then Martyrid is like, hey, dad, I'm on earth now because you took all your dudes elsewhere, you fucker. That'd be a problem. That'd be a big, big problem.

It would be. It's crazy how much of a balancing act it is. And it never works. You could take out them, but then you get fucked over. by these others. It's, yeah. Warhammer's wacky. It never works. Like, Warhammer is so stupid, but that's why it's fun. Because, like, even though with all my attempts to justify this, it's stupid, and I know it's stupid.

But... What? What? No. No. Since when? This fucking Edge Lord board game made by the English? Stupid?

That was the biggest problem right there, the English. but yeah it's a it's a cool stinky world out there for the death guard uh do you have any questions either of you pat now if i remember correctly nergul's power is like entropic in nature right like is like the disease and rot it's like a function of entropy yeah okay so one of the things that was interesting to me is that like corn I mean that all of them get their power-ups via various ways right

yeah normally by like submitting themselves to the god yeah but what I mean is like the chaos god itself like corn that means there are tons of war corn's going to be doing well which is why historically corn has really done well overall right because it's fucking warhammer

yeah yeah generally okay so I remember reading a wiki article on Nergel a million years ago, and it was that Nergel is, I mean, not necessarily, I mean, he's not the biggest boy, like, Corn's usually the biggest, and then Slanesh and Siench have their moments, but Nurgel will vary wildly depending on, hey, did I manage to hit everybody with a really juicy plague? Power go up, yes?

Uh, kind of. The idea of the warp is, you know, like everyone's... All the things going on, you know, have a direct impact of the yin to the yang. So, disease in general will help feed Nurgle, even if it's something as simple as like the flu. Oh, even if he's not actually responsible or involved with him at all. Yeah, because, because like, it also, like, emotions are... Feed the gods as well, because each chaos God represents the both,

sides of an emotion. Corn is anger, hatred, and violence, but he's also a sense of honor, survival of the fittest, martial combat. Zinch is greed, trickery, conniving, but he's also the idea of of constant change and hope. Nurgel is sloth, stagnation, acceptance of death, that kind of thing. So he's on both So as long, if you're like a lazy son of a bitch Like that feeds Nergel If you're like a corrupt bureaucrat That feeds Zinche

If you're just like a murderer that fields corn Oh, I see And if you're a sex murderer That feels Sinesh Yeah, I was about to say I was talking about it I think it was in the A cut part of the Warhammer

Video that we made with Shai Where Dark Tide is going to be coming out Yeah And Dark Tide is again Much like Burminton going to be a Nergel-focused

Warhammer game. I thought Verminthai was Skaven. It is, but there is a chaos faction in it, and it's the Nergel faction. Oh, shit. And it got me

thinking, it's like, well, corn was like in game anyway. It was like hilariously overrepresented. Like, it was just corn with every single Warhammer game you could get your hands on forever. And then Seinch got their shot

with the MMO Because they wanted to have The chaos players Have cool transformations Into like crab people and shit like that So okay Seench got their shot But recently it's been all Nergel Because you get to make just the grossest

D dudes you got With your 3D modeling team But Slenesh is never going to get that shot you're never you're never gonna have you're never gonna have like a video game and it's like

what's the main antagonist oh it's the god of rape that's like yeah it's not gonna happen um so okay so so like obviously Nergo for Dark Tide is great

because it's left for dead style it's zombies works out well yeah um people tend to forget that

Slanesh is not just sex So sex Sex is actually a smaller part of Slanesh It's actually not the majority People see it that way Because it's designed that way

Because it works better When you're trying to like create a design team, right? Right Slenish is unspeakable excess So excess of emotion Excess of of feeling.

It's like the six senses. It's the excess of the six senses. Extremely pungent smells. Pain. Lots of pain. Sound. Like often the marine equivalent of Sanesh Marines are called noise marine

because they blow your eardrums out and try to make your head like implode through like sound waves. There's a joke constantly where the Marines yell. The silence offends Sla Nesh. And so often, often a large part of Sonesh is not just being able to like bang everybody. But that's the idea that like sex is one of the heights of human feeling of human like touch and sense. But you combine sex with insane amounts of horrifyingly loud music and drugs.

Lots and lots of drugs. I forgot about drugs. drugs are huge. And also, like, like pain, hence why they're all rapy. And that's how you get the Sanesh idea. But often, a lot of the Sonesh comes down to drugs, pain, and noise, more so than just sex. I would like some Sonesh representation. I very much agree. But considering that their base units have lobster hands and their tits are all out, it is a little bit difficult. The nudity makes more difficulties. The nudity has more difficulties than everything else in that one.

Yeah, definitely. So Slanesh is just excess. Like, it doesn't necessarily have to be in excess of, like, sex, drugs and music. It's just an excess of anything. The excess of feeling. Gotcha. So it's kind of like, like, with Slenesh, like everything else. Without Slenish, there is no taste.

There is no, there is no touch. There is no, like, feeling. Like, without Sunnash, there is no... that can be made from that kind of thing. Right, right. It is very much, like, you need Slanesh if you want that kind of stuff. But at the same time, she is the, she who thirsts, or they who thirst, the Prince of Darkness, the unspeakable excess. They have like a bunch of stuff like endless cacophony is a, is like an ability they have, which is pretty crazy.

There's, yeah, there's one that's a unit called the Mask of Slanesh and they've been current to dance for eternity, but they'll, like, they'll force other living beings to also dance for eternity until, like, their ankles break and, like, like, and, but, like, they just, they just do it forever, and it's kind of weird. That's so weird. That's... Out of all the horrible, crazy, disease-ridden things in Warhammer, there's, of course, there's a unit that's just like, yeah, we're just going to dance forever.

Yeah, I mean, shy posted this, this, uh, this image of a mission model. which is a punk rocker Space Marine with like just leopard pants Yep Rainbow Moly What an eyesore And that is the picture

of excess for sure Okay everyone Thank you so much for watching this episode of Adeptus ridiculous On the Death Guard It was quite fun We will definitely have to keep talking about some of the actual units and things

And talk about them later on But until them My name's been Bricky You can find me at Bricky basically everywhere Twitter, YouTube, stream, etc. DK., where can they find you? You can find me everywhere, YouTube, Twitter, Twitch at DK. Diamanty's, Instagram,

real DK. Diamanty's until I can buy that fucking name out. But yeah. And to our special guest, Pat, where can they find you? Hey, guys. You can find me over Twitch.tv slash Pat Stairs at or Twitch.tv slash Castle Superbeast on Mondays, specifically for the podcast. I'm kind of surprised how much of this podcast I sent

just like listening to your bricky I'm usually like the chatiest bitch in the world well it is quite early for you yeah but not just that it's just like I just kind of want to sit here and just be like oh yeah and then he got poisoned and then the bugs came out and the emperor was kind of a badass but like you just full of himself

this is very pleasant thanks for having me I'm glad that you could join us it's definitely something that we'd like to do every one every 10 episodes or something get a guest on. So it was super fun. And you could also find shy, of course, over at all the things, quite shallow, quiet shy, etc. I'm not sure when she's going to

amalgate that all into one so I can just say quiet shy or something. You're definitely going to want to check out her videos as fast as possible because I hear she's quitting Warframe. She wanted to watch all those Warframe videos real fast. Definitely. That's a shame. She didn't play it for like a day. She's totally out.

Thank you very much for watching. That was so awkward. Why do you say it like that?