Adeptus Ridiculous - DEATH GUARD: WE ARE NURGLE'S REAPING BLADE | Warhammer 40k lore

Episode Date: March 23, 2022

https://www.patreon.com/AdeptusRidiculoushttps://www.adeptusridiculous.com/https://twitter.com/AdRidiculoushttps://orchideight.com/https://www.collectiblesquids.com/ code: ADRICSupport the show

into another episode of the Adeptus Ridiculous podcast. My name is D.K. Diamantis. My co-host is Bricky, and we're going to be learning about some real ridiculous shit from Warhammer 40K today. But before we do, if you enjoy today's episode, head on over to the Patreon at patreon. At patreon.com slash Adeptus Ridiculous. You can get access to the Discord. Bloopers are when they happen. Extra shenanigans. Uh, really, really nice HD posters. Uh, the new one has nothing to do with abs, but ooh, what a lucky guardsman. Um, so yeah, patreon.com slash adeptus ridiculous and Bricky will tell you all about the merch, the book, and any other pertinent things. Yeah, Bricky.

Yeah, Bricky. Yeah, man. Yeah, Bricky. Tell them about the merch, Brickie. You know what, me, all right, the merch, orchidate.com. Check it out. Merch, got stuff, shirts, hoodies, stickers, etc. Dice, all in the description. Orcadate.com. Hit that up. Also, do not forget to that the book club we have is Krieg by Steve Lyons. That will be in the review will be early April. So you got a little bit left to finish up the book.

So far it is pretty stassy, I would say. And am I missing anything? It's just those two, right? I don't think so. Eventually we'll be doing the contest winners, but I'm not sure when that video is scheduled for. But yeah, I think you hit all the, you checked all the boxes as it were.

Yeah, we did a stream where we looked over all of our night submissions which will be, that stream will be cut down a little bit but it will be uploaded just so everyone can get their little time in the sun. But we'll actually have another video for the top 10 later on. So we'll be doing that.

All right. We had a lot of really good entries in that contest. My voice is still shot from that for four hours of raiding nights. Yeah. It was good and tons of amazing entries, but yeah, it was a bit of a stream. Four hours.

Four hours. Four hours. Four hours of raiding nights. And now this episode will clearly be another four hours. So your voice is going to be absolutely cringled. Oh, dude. My voice was so criss-crangled after the thing. yesterday. I took a nap.

And then my buddies were like, hey, who wants to go out drinking? And I'm like, no, I haven't been out with my buddies in a while. I'll do that. So we went out drinking until like 2 a.m. and then on the way home, we played nuclear by Mike Oldfield from Metal Gear Solid 5. Wow. And then in the car on the way home, and we just fucking screamed the lyrics at the top of our lungs. The worst thing you could do after a four-hour stream, you go ahead and do it.

I'm feeling the pain right now. I'm operating on light sleep, and I'm feeling it. Oh, man. All right. Well, you know what? Let's get into it then. Let's do this shit. Let's do.

Actually, it might be pertinent for our topic, as my raspy voice might make this a little bit easier to read. So, are you ready for a? genuinely actually probably not that hard. Oh wait, I just read the quote again. This is absolutely not going to be hard. Oh, okay. Well, okay. You've said that before and I've still fucked it up. No, this, this, I'm giving you a lot of, I'm not giving you any credit on this one. This is easy. Okay. Okay. Okay. Forget no insults, my sons, as I have never forgotten those of my father of the emperor nor those of Horace. Forgive no slight or grievance.

Hold your bitterness deep with him and there let it fester. Let it royle and squirm and shern until you are so filled with bile, so poisonous that all you touch falls to ruin. Thus shall you serve Nergel best. Thus shall you spread his virulent gifts across the false imperium and watch its final rotting. Wow. Before you said Nergel, I was like, oh yeah, this definitely sounds. Sounds like some Nurgel Death Guard shit. Yeah.

Bile and, yeah. Yep, and don't, don't forget what the Emperor Dun did. If, oh, did we already do an episode on, oh, shit, what's his name? He's got, like, the swarm of bugs that are, like, so thick. It looks like a, it looks like solid matter. Oh, okay, that's typhus. Typhus? Typhus.

But you're overthinking this heavily. Oh Oh Oh Oh Um Um So it's

It's It's it's It's it's It's it's It's It's Obviously Now you're

Underthinking this It can't just be Like we We've done a Nurgle episode And It's not It's not

A Nurgle Now you're underthinking it We've talked About the Death Guard We've talked about Mortarian

Well we've talked about Mortarian Yeah We haven't done a dedicated We haven't done a dedicated death guard episode We haven't? Remember how we did one with like Pat?

Wasn't that? We did but that was like mainly about Mortarian You know it's like remember how we're supposed to do Primark plus thing That was before we started doing that In my head I thought like we did an episode on Mortarian and then the episode with Pat was on the death guard No we have done one episode on the death guard and that was with Pat.

Oh, I played myself. I played myself. I'm very sad that this was not immediately picked up. I mean, can I basically get a win on that? That's for all intents and purposes. I was on the right track, you know? Yeah, yeah, no, you're right. You're fine.

You were there, but you were confuzzled. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hooray, I win! That sounds like... Kind of. That was a very good Frye statement right there. I get told all the time. I sound like Fry.

The quote that I read is by Mortarians, so, you know, it's there. I was like, that quote's either Mortarian or Typhus, but yeah. Yeah, Typhus the traveler. But, no, no, no. This is just a little Deathguard episode. Like an overview, Deathguard, talk about Deathguard,

the sub parts of the Legion, how it's broken up, the weapons they use, their doctrine, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada. The classic, the classic Death Guard stuff that we're figuring out because they're, because Death Guard are pretty fucking cool. They're really cool. I'm actually interested to see what kind of weapons they use because, like, whenever I see, like, their models or artwork of them, all of their weapons look like really rusty and, like, they wouldn't really do that much damage.

It looks like they're just going to, like, fall apart from, like, not being upkept very well. So I'm kind of interested to see what kind of shenanigans their weapons pull off. Yeah, I mean, a lot of their weaponry isn't particularly fancy. It's just normally there's some pestilence on it or some crap. Yeah, yeah. For a refresher, for you and the peeps, the Deathguard are the 14th Legion, as that is seven times two. because the sacred number of Nurgel is seven.

And their prime arc is of, as Mortarian, and they hailed from the world of barbarous, which was a horrifying, disgusting, toxic world where he was, had a foster father who was a shit lorm. And he couldn't, he wanted to kill his foster father, and he couldn't, and the emperor did it instead, and he never really forgave him for it. Yep, he got the daddy kill steal.

He got the kill steal, and he's been very upset for a war. while because of that. Also, I'm glad we're doing Death Guard because they recently caught some very undeserved nerfs in the tabletop for no fucking reason. Oh, really? I mean, I could kind of see that. Well, I wanted to say I could kind of see that. Undeserved nerfs.

They did not deserve it. Okay. Just because I remember everybody used to play the Death Guard. And like whenever you would like tell me about the way some tournament went, it was I was like, oh, Oh yeah, Deathguard won, Mortarian's invincible. You can't beat Mortarian. They're too good.

I remember for a while, they were like a meta problem, weren't they? I don't think they were ever a meta problem, but they were very good. It's just as Codexes have come out, people have been getting better and better and better. And I've been reaching the same level Deathguard has been getting. And then randomly, Deathguard got Nerfed just recently. And I'm like, wait, what? Like the balance had finally restored itself, and then you push it too far in the other direction. Gotcha.

Okay, so everyone was finally equal, and they were like, oh, you were up here too long, Death Guard, Scroonch. Well, not quite. Death Guard was like a really great, like, S-tier Army. I mean, I'm not S-tier, but like A-plus, and it solely went to like A-minus B-plus as things were getting better and better, and then they got there for no reason. So it's a little bit dumb.

But despite all of that, it's a good thing we're talking about Deathguard. Of course, Mortarian and Typhus, a reminder. typhus decided to in being an absolute fucker sabotaged or mess up the way they were traveling to go deal with the horse heresy and stuff and they got sent directly into Nurgo's clutches and his entire legion was getting just horribly fucked up like rotted and then rebirthed and rebirth and like never-ending pain and Nergo was like eh mortarian my man let's hey you know give me your soul and and you pledge your allegiance and it'll stop. I'll stop the pain. You know, I'm pretty good at that. I'm Nergel. Hey, eh, I'm apparently Italian also. Lorglar is my buddy. A. I was going to say, when did you become a word bearer. Yeah, word bears, turns out we're actually the real Nergels the whole time because they don't sleep or, or, or, or, babe.

Hey, I'm going to invest you with pestilence and pox, baby. Baby, baby. The, um, and so, uh, obviously they all became nergolized, abortarian became the demon primark mortarian, which is just a big motherfucker. He's so cool. He's so cool. Oh my God, his mini is so dope. Holy shit. Mini, in quotes.

Mini, that's air quotes, mini. Like the Tao Manta is a mini. Oh, my God, a thing. It's a table. It is half a table. Yeah, you play Warhammer on top of the Manta. And then after. that, of course, Typhus got the

best reward. He became Lord of the Destroyer Hive, which is the giant thing of wasps looking coming out of his back. And Typhus got his good shit. So, after the heresy, they fled, as all things did, into the eye of terror.

And now he is in a plague planet. Currently residing in the warp. It is a gigantic planet of pox and pestilence and death, where he sits atop the highest peak where his foster father used to sit on Barbarus

because he finally gets to sit where he wants at the top because he can handle the toxins Yeah, yeah And that's more terrier that's sitting at the top, right? Yeah. Okay. So the planet is just a swirling mass of pox and disease And the giant green planet of fuckery, yeah.

I mean, I guess it makes sense. that's where the death guard would be. That's where they'd call home. That's fair. Yeah. If anyone was going to be, that's the death guard planet, right? Sure. And so as of recently, when he was just kind of chilling there for a bit, doing what's doing whatever,

typhus was kind of the big man when it came to fucking up the Imperium. I know if I'm not mistaken, Typhus and Mortarian, particularly Mortarian, does not like Typhus one bit. Yeah, because Typhus, did all that nergal fuckery without mortarians knowing right like he did it kind of behind his back didn't he yeah they they kind of hate each other and but mortarians still big man in charge uh so with the complete reopening of the great rift uh after katia fell because so for a while typhus and mortarians spite hating each other typhus bait like mortarians like all right like you can go do whatever

the fuck you want out there but the moment i call you back like you come back so typhus is like like, whatever, dude. Sure, man. And then Typhus goes out and decides to take his ship, the Terminus Est, the literal flying tumor, and goes out a nasty-ass thing. And he just goes out and he absolutely, you know, just wreaks havoc when he can.

Actually, a side note, Typhus's prior armor looks really dope. He's the guy on the left. Whoa! Was that, I'm assuming, obviously, that's pre-death-Guard, pre-deafsing. Oh, wow, he looks so much cooler, pre-heresy. Well, I don't know about that. He looks pretty cool post-heresy, too, but it's a different way.

Yeah, yeah. He looks like a badass, like Dark Knight. Oh, yeah, a little bit. I see that. He got a bit of a beer belly when he got nergetized, though. Well, a lot of the Nergel stuff are very, very, heavy overweight looking that's like the morbid obesity that's part of the thing yeah because it's bloated with disease it's and stuff exactly um but despite all that uh once the great

rift opened after the fall of katia mortarian is now leading to the from the front basically he has now taken upon himself to start bleeding the imperium again after the eye of terra's reawakening because well i mean he is he can yeah sure i mean you know There's nothing stopping him. I mean, it's got to be a really bad time for the Imperium once KDFA and the eye just split open. Like, it's, ooh. Things have gotten really bad. He is on, he is there now.

And he is, he is like, a demon primark has reemerged now. Like, that's really bad. He's basically fighting, um, Gilliman the most right now. It's kind of like the two going on. Um, but, but yeah, he's, he's wrecking some. shit. Particularly, he's fucking up some necrons, too, while he's at it. Really? Yeah, he's created some kind of blight that like eats into necron tech and fucking tomb stuff. And he's like, he's like paved over four tomb worlds.

Oh, that is a heavy hit to the necrons. If you're, oh, boy. Yeah, it's, it's some, I don't know exactly the name of it. My mind says it's maybe the ferric blight? I don't remember exactly what it's called. I really don't remember the name. But yeah, he's, he is currently, like, eating shit up, and Mortarion is not fucking around.

He's been chilling on his high tower for a while, and he's finally back to cause issues. Damn. That's true, because we haven't talked a whole lot about what's happened after the fall of Cadia, and now that, like, the eye is just split the fuck open, and chaos is just spewing out. We haven't really talked a whole lot about that,

have we? We talked amazingly about like what Gilman's been up to because he's kind of the, the protagonist in this, in this whole post-Cadia situation. But at the same time, it's also like, hmm,

it's also kind of just this, I don't, I feel like JW hasn't really talked about it much in a weird way. Like this split the world in two. Like there's stories about it and stuff, but it always feels like it's not the overarching

situation going on and how to fix it. Or maybe I haven't read those. I could just be wrong, but it doesn't seem like it's been that way. Yeah, that's so weird because that's such an important thing to happen. Like, that's such a big deal that you would think it was the focal point of everything after it happened would just be, oh, fuck, chaos. I think it is, but it's like, because 8th edition launched with the, the fall of Kadia post.

The 8th edition launched with the new Mortarian and all those kinds of boxes, right? And you had the Magnus stuff going on as well with his big model. And that's kind of when that started. And that's why in 9th edition, it kind of became like a Necron thing with the Silent King's return and all that. That's why we have so much Necron stuff going on right now.

But there is still plenty of it going on. I just maybe, I think we're just not reading it as much. Oh, okay. I think so. It's weird. I feel like there's some parts they're skimming over, but might just be me. Anyway, the Death Guard now, of course, as the Death Guard fight, the Death Guard's way of fighting.

Well, back in the day, they used to be known as the Dusk Raiders. And the Dusk Raiders were known as that back on Barbaris because they would attack their foes at Nightfall. Dusts graders, you know. Dusk graders, sure, sure. Yeah, makes sense. And so for a while, after Mortarian kind of arrived and after, well, and especially after the deathguardiness of the nergolizing of them,

nergatize me captain. Nurgatize me, capon. Their combat doctrine became a little different. It became the concept of just like pure relentlessness. Like their weapons were not fancy, but they always functioned. They didn't try to outmaneuver the enemy. They just kind of stood their ground and waited for a crack in the enemy's forces and then kind of pushed through.

They just, they're stubborn as shit. any environment they're okay to fight in any death world any toxic this or that they are they are remorseless and slow but they love attrition and entrenchment and just this very like methodical slow walking forward moving force that just will not die yeah that makes that makes sense like because when you when you look at like the death guard, they're like these big, hulking, sort of bulbous, like, titans. So you wouldn't imagine that they're going to, like, really, like, speed up and, you know, go fast. And it's just, yeah, it's, it's like a slow-moving disease walking towards you. And they soften you up with disease, too. Like, oh, yeah. Honestly, I feel like the death guard would not be very effective, just completely on

their own, slowly walking forward. I mean, they're good. I mean, they're still freaking chaos space Marines, like, nergolized, but they also often soften up their enemies with their pestilence and disease. Like, can you imagine if you are just fighting an enemy and the entire, like, Imperial Guard, and every guardsman is just, like, violently throwing up or, or, like, their eyes are watering and their skin is chafing and they have, like, massive diarrhea. Like, their bodies are just shutting. Imagine just fighting an entire enemy force that has the, you know, but they're not.

the flu, but like times three, you know? Yeah, that's a great way to soften up your enemy, that's for sure. Not to mention they have the walking pox, which is literally zombies, so you can root them out from the inside. Yeah, they literally have pox walkers. That's a, that's a legit unit that Nergel has, right? Yep, the boxwalkers. Yeah, literal zombies.

But like, like, it's really hard to operate perfectly when you are that sick. and then, you know, people are dying just from disease as much as they're dying from guns. And that's to mention, like, all the way they spread the disease between, like, the destroyer hives, those little bugs and wasps that bite you and spread the illness.

And then nerglings are running at you, being silly and stuff. And, like, there's a lot of that. And in fact, it's actually kind of cool. There's a lot of various contagions you can use in game to, like, have, like, various types of illness. The main one Deathguard gets is that, If you are in melee with them, your toughness is lowered because you're like sick and like being...

But their radius of that grows with the time of the game because the plague is spreading. Oh, that's cool. So turn one, it's only if you're in melee. But then it's like, I think it's like three inches after that. And then like six inches from a character and then like nine inches. So as the game goes, the poison spreads. Oh, that's really cool. I love the idea of an in-game mechanic that makes it spread like disease and poison.

That's really cool. It's super fun. It's a really awesome concept. But man, that sucks. I can't even imagine like trying to fight the death guard and you're just overcome with disease and sickness. And you're just like, oh, man, this is awful. And then the death guard actually make it up to you. And you actually have to fight like a chaos space brain, an actual death guard.

And it's just like, you're fucked. Yeah, they're not, they're not like the most effective of all the Marine legions. Like they're not, they're not the phalanxes of like the dark angels or the sheer speed and ferocity of like the white scars. So that of the hate of like the blood angels. But they don't need to be because they don't, they don't die. You keep trying to hit them and they don't feel like you have an enemy that literally doesn't feel pain. Yeah. And they're just, and they're so bulky anyway, they're so tanky that, it, hmm. Like, if you somehow make it past their armor, you have their incredibly hardened flesh.

And then getting through that flesh as hard enough as this, because you blow a guy in half and he's still crawling towards you. Like, they, they have no pain. Yep. They just keep going. I don't know. I imagine, like, for some reason, when I think of, like, trying to fight a death guard, like, you know how they always have those weird mouths everywhere. I always imagine that, have you ever seen the thing? Oh God, yeah, when he...

Where the stomach opens up and it eats his fist or something. And I'm just like, oh, that's probably what it's like fighting a death guard. I hate it. Or you get eaten by giant like plague drones, which are just enormous wasps. And it's awful. Oh, it's terrible. So the death guard are actually split up into plague companies. There are seven of them, because of course there are.

Of course. And each plague company has its own thing. And actually you can play as these plague companies in game as well. They have different benefits and stuff. So the first one, the first plague company is known as the Harbingers. And the Harbingers is ruled over by Typhus himself. This is including his ship, the Terminus Est, and its entire ranks are just filled, filled with hundreds of,

of strains of the zombie plague. Hundreds and hundreds. Shamble rot, the groaning, biters, pox. Like, typhus is all about poxwalkers. He loves his poxwalkers. He just will go to a world, zomify the whole fucking thing, and go to the next. Well, I guess that makes sense for them being called the Harbingers,

because they sort of, they're the Harbingers of destruction. then they zomify it and then it's just easy pickings for everybody else in the death guard Yeah you play it like a virus You know it's like it's like if It's like if we had a zombie apocalypse Walking Dead style and then aliens invaded

Like we got softened up so hard Yep yep Damn that's that's dirty That sucks I mean that's that's great war strategy though Like that's that's a good strategy I mean Hey the pain will go away if you embrace Nurgle

Yeah that's part of it too Because like this whole planet not only becomes this, but this whole planet is now new forces for the death guard. Yeah. As shy so eloquently put it, you can always ask Nergal to spare you the pain and get down with the sickness. Get down with the sickness. Wow. That was pretty good.

That was solid. Thanks. Thanks. I practiced a lot in my angsty teenage years. The zombie virus. Harbingers would be the most effective in the U.S. because no one wears their fucking masks. Yeah.

We got to amend the statement to avoid it like the plague because nobody wants to avoid the plague, apparently. Dude, I'm going to make my own plague. It's going to be like, it's going to target only not muscular women. And then the entire world will be buff chicks and me. Paradise. And I win. Paradise.

I'm the winner here. I have the big brain ideas. Yeah, that's a good one. I'm fully behind that. Just call me typhus. Just call me typhus because I'm a piece of shit. And you smell. Yeah.

Oh. Yeah. Yeah. So the second plague company is the, uh, the ferric blight. Ooh. And the, uh, the ferric blight is. is mainly about mechanized assaults, so giant formations of tanks,

and the warriors themselves wear the sling called the fair, oh wait, I think I mentioned this early, the ferric blight, yeah, which speckles their armor and vehicles with a crawling rust. The ferric blight is a moving, living rust. So as the vehicles are covered in it, as are the company, when they get to enemy stuff,

like their shit will rust and break and degrade. very quickly. That's so OP. It's very, very strong. Wow. I think that's what they did to the necrons, which is why their stuff is like breaking. Yeah, I mean, that makes sense

because the necrons are just all machinery. I mean, I guess it's a different kind of metal. It's like the living metal shit, but still, like, yeah, that fuck the necrons up. Also, like, the stages of the way the Death Guard invader crazy. Like first you've gotten zomified. And if you have a fighting force left,

then this blight comes around. It russes and destroys all of your tech. You are so fucked. Yeah, they don't need to be the most powerful fighting force in terms of combat, because they've got everything else. Yeah, you almost don't even need chaos space Marines. They, like, all of their blights and shit

just wreck everything so hard that who cares what your other fighting forces like you've zomified and rusted all their technology like, holy shit. Not to mention like these are going at regular ass planets like the planetary governors are a bunch of rich ass

aristocrats. They don't want to pretend like there's anything going down. So they're always like, ah, it's just some new infection. It'll sort itself out like, oh my God, zombies are at my door. Damn. The third plague company is known as Mortarians Anvil,

and this is particularly excels in digging in and letting, like, enemy foes run at them and die. So it's like a giant spiked shield in a weird way. They have something called the Glombing Bloat, which is a plague of fever sweats that slicks their armor and cause them to speak in wet gurgles. It's known for having a lot of slang called Noxious Blightbringer But it's commanding deathguard lore is a guy named Gothax the Moros

And he is renowned for ensuring that seven blight bringers Accompany him as a trudging retinue of all times It is a entropic amount of like toxins And they try to be as miserable as they can possibly be Damn. I mean, fighting the death guard, that's probably not too hard.

Also, is that a picture that Shai just posted with that big crazy bell on his back? That's a noxious blight bringer. Okay, cool, cool. It is a combat specialist, which the idea is that they announced their presence

with the tolling of the bell, and which, with every slam of the bell, like madness and despair, are sent to the enemy foes, and it, like, leeches their fucking, like souls. Wow. Because, you know.

Yeah. I mean, understatement of the century, wow, that sucks as madness, pestilence, zombies, and rust consume everything you've ever loved.

But yeah, that, that sucks. It particularly fucks up Cychers. Kind of has like dong and the Cycars. Like, oh my God, like that being near a blank.

Oh, man. So even Cycers can't help you against against the death guard, huh? Well, I mean, to an extent they can, but like that guy in particular is made for it. Damn. The fourth plague company is, I don't know the name of this one. It's ruled over, we fucking wish, is ruled over a by a gestalt demon known as the Eater of Lives.

They carry the Eater plague, also known as drizzle flesh, pock-chewer and the endless gift. Oh, boy. That's disgustingly badass though They mainly have sorcerers and summonnerglings and stuff Like more demons They're like a demon summoning kind of group Oh, okay That's also pretty important

The fifth plague company is known as the poxmongers They particularly use a lot of demon engines So their main demon engine that the Deathguard Have a something called the plague burst crawler It is a very weird World War I looking tank It's kind of... Oh. Very bizarre.

Yeah? But it's kind of cool. It's like a big rolling beetle. Ew. Gross. Oh, okay. It's not that nasty. It's just like the way it's shaped.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, I've seen those before. Yeah, it's not too strange. Like, considering everything else going on in the Death Guard, that's probably the most normal artillery you're going to see? Question mark? It's just a big tough tank and they have a little artillery on the back, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

They also carry something called the sanguice flux disease, which causes endless half-clotted bleeding. Oh, that's like. And they leave foul red-black trails wherever they go. Right. That sounds about on par for the death card. Yep. Okay.

The Sixth Plague Company is known as the Fairy Men, or also known as the Brethren of the Fly. This is the main garrison of their fleets, their starships, their armadas, right? It also has a large number of something called Blight Lord Terminators, and it has a parasite known as the droning. Which I don't really remember what the droning is in lore, but the droning is a, I believe it turns off all your re-rolls in game, which is actually really got. damn good. Oh, that's, yeah, yeah, that would, that would really fuck you up if you can't re-roll against them. Yeah, I'm not, I'm actually not quite sure what the droning does in, in, uh, lore, but. So surely on the tabletop, anybody that plays the death guard must use that as much as possible. Well, I think often you, you can only put it on certain characters, but the main thing is that

mortarian can get, uh, any choice of plague and they normal. pick the droning. That's fair. And the last one is the Mortarians' chosen sons. They are plague brewers and alchemists. They have something called the

crawling postulents, or the boil blight, lumpen splattered, Nergles fruit, etc. Gross. I know, they're fun. It's all very thematic. That is, ugh. It's a, it's very deathgirdy.

They, they, they do not skimp on making Deathguard like perfectly lore based with how they act. Oh yeah, they're disgusting. They're absolutely vile and horrific and blah. What do, uh, death lord or death lord, uh, would a Deathguard Termines look like again? Ah, well, that's one of them, should I just post. That's a Blight Lord Terminator. Oh, that's one of their terminators with the, with the no eyes and the creepy-ass fucking teeth. Yep. However, the dopest one will always be the Death Shroud Terminator, which are these motherfuckers.

Whoa, oh, that's right. Okay, I think we've talked about them in the other episode, because I remember talking about how disgusting it was that the tentacles were holding like the scythe. Oh, that's very badass, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so fucking cool. And their minis look incredible. Absolutely incredible. They have these giant capes and hoods and shit. That's round Terminators look insanely cool. They are, that's, yeah, they're amazing. Love it. White Lord Terminators actually also look really darn good.

They have this flail that's super cool looking. This like enormous flail of corruption. Yeah, that middle one is the dopest. I kind of love the, uh, I know you don't like anime, but it's got like super Akira vibes with like the flesh that's just like, like sort of oozing out of control and around all the tech. I love it. I love it.

Yeah, it's really cool. So the actual like ranks of death guard. So the main death guard person is a death guard lord, right? It's a chaos lord. That's your number one. That's your leader. That's your all that kind of stuff.

That's, that's your big bad, that whole number one boy. You also something called the Lord of Contagium, which is a, the Lord Contagion is a, wearing like a catafracti Terminator armor, and they're kind of like a various kind of kind of like a direct strategist commander kind of dude.

They also have things like a Lord of Veralance, which is a bombardment specialist, that kind of stuff. Death Shroud, the ones with the cool hoods, they are using Man Reapers, which are those giant Scyth. I love the name. Man reapers, right? Yeah, gee, I wonder what they do with those. They kill orcs.

Yeah, of course. Of course. They don't kill humans with those, right? There's no way. Oh, God, no. No way. Man reaper, there's no way they'd kill a human with that ever. These are actually handpicked by Mortarian himself. And they tend to follow him around wherever he goes.

They're his personal bodyguards. They also bodyguard other people, lords and stuff. But if you find Mortarian, he's probably got seven of these bastards with him. as if it wasn't bad enough to fight Mortarian then you got seven of these fuckers to deal with these dudes in the tabletop I think they actually got they were they were hit by the nerfs

I think which is unfortunate and like they were nuts to fight like the Death Stroud Terminators were nuts what made them so crazy to fight

and what was like the big Nerf well they've got three health which is what Terminator all have, but all Death Guard have toughness 5 because there's so much better than that. All Deathguard have reducing their damage they take by 1, which is also insane.

It's just really good, but it's just the fact that they would roll up be insanely tanky, have a ton of attacks, and also they would just have like, they just would hit really goddamn hard with

their Man Reapers. They were good at dealing with stuff. They had little like plague spewing flamer gauntlets which is fun they have

they have gauntlets that spew disease they have they have plague flamethrowers look at the middle guy on his left hand oh yeah

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I see them now oh that's gross I love that I love that though that's fucking disgusting but I love it yeah they were just like

right now they're not as good as they used to be because codexes have kind of gotten and better and better with time. But they just kind of, they kill a lot of stuff.

They're very painful. But they are also really dope. Anyway, Blight Lord Terminators are the mutated guys in that pseudiccatea armor on the bottom. They are much more of the standard terminators where they walk forward with commie weapons, spew plague,

you know, shooting down vehicles with heavy weapons, etc., etc. They're just impossible to kill as is most death guard stuff. You know, they're less, they're less, um, specialized as the, uh, Destron, because the Desron are like literally bodyguards and... Yeah, for the highest of the high. Yeah. Yeah. The Blightlords are more like a regular Terminator and therefore the things that they carry are a bit more... Well, it's, it's like, you can kind of fit them out how you'd like. Gotcha. Am I jumping the gun? If I ask you what a flail of corruption does, because it looks very cool, whatever it does, and it looks like it spews like some sort of blue.

mist of decay and bleh well first things first look at that dude smile oh boy let's see a smile on that face starts

violently throwing up the plague the flail of corruption is in the game it's like just a two hit rolls instead of one two damage flail it's just a good flail I don't I don't think

I don't know if the flail of corruption here it is Power kind of, it's a power type weapon. Let's see here. Heavy power type weapon used by Death Lord Terminators. Yes, yes, yes. Oh, any foe struck by it is hit by a large variety of varying, fast acting pathogens. So those things are filled with like a ton of, like it's a ton of disease and they just get to hit with it.

Gotcha. As if it wasn't bad enough getting bonked upside the head with a giant flail by one of these terminators. If you should survive, you just get absolutely mauled by disease. Yeah, it's good times. Yeah, his little balky machine is covered in disease. Yep. Oh. I talk about the noxious blightbringers are ready to do with the bell.

There is the malignant plaguecaster, which is a deathguard sorcerer that fills the air with filth. like actual black, gray, green filth. Oh. It is, they basically draw in lungfuls of noxious vapors from the Garden of Nurgel and then blow them out in phlegm thick clouds that will rot a man to the bone in a couple seconds. Damn. It is a cloud as thick as phleg. Wow.

So it's like living in Riverside. Nice. Thanks. Nice. All right. I used to live in Riverside. Yeah. Inland Empire can suck my ass.

Yeah. Well, that's not really the inland empire, but like that you're getting the inland empire, basically. Is it? Yeah. I feel like it's the border to actually becoming it. Yeah, fair enough. I went, I went to college in San Bernardino. So, uh, yeah.

I used to always tell people like, you know how like when you leave your car out, the, the dust is like, you know, it's kind of grayish, you know, oh, wash me, you know. If you leave your car out in Riverside or San Bernardino, the dust is orange. The dust is orange. That is true. You've got the rock one. You have the ferric blight. Yeah, we got the ferric blight in the Inland Empire.

Yeah, it's so nasty. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. So that's the million of playcaster does things like that. You've got the Talleyman, which is a personal favorite of mine. He's the guy with all the scrolls and the nergling carrying the scrolls Do you remember him at all looking?

I don't. I don't know how I forgot this guy, but wow. I got you. Here you go. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Now I remember him. Yeah, he's got to keep track. They got to track the ammunition they've used, the diseases they've spread.

They got to track. They got to make sure they got to tally up the diseases. They got to get their books. Why do they, I think, I remember asked this, but why do they care, like, how much it happens? Like, why do they need to tally it up? Like, I think they, they tally it to invoke the boon of Nurgel. They're like, this is how many shells we've expended, wounds we've inflicted, poisons we've added, death we've done. And they're just like, I'm so proud of you.

Here, boon. And they like, they chant to like seven, like their unholy tally, right? And when they get to seven, all of the Nurgel's faithful are like renewed and like more powerful. It's like, we've done six, seven diseases. Boom, everyone gets stronger. We've killed seven tanks. Boom, everyone gets stronger, you know, like. Oh, no.

Now, for some reason when you said that and you described it like that, I can now only imagine the tallyman sort of like the Sesame Street count. Ah, one disease, two disease. Seven disease. And then everybody's just like, Yeah, yay! It literally says here, as his voice echoes in their ears,

so empiric power seeps into their souls. Wounds, heel, shut with sucking slurps, rotten muscles bulge with strength, with the rambunctious joy of grandfather Nergel fills up curdled souls. Flies swarm thick in buzzing clouds, and disease blossom all the faster. So, Italian, man.

So they're like support casters. They kind of sort of buff you with like... Yeah, basically. Yeah. Yeah. There's also a guy known as the biologist putrefier, or biologous putrefire. These have an obsessive desire to test their newly concocted plague batches. They are constantly trying to find new ways to make disease and make things and they want to try and test it.

Oh, no. Oh, here's a quote. There is no finer laboratory than the battlefield. Such a glut of test subjects, their flesh and vitae awaiting only the touch of Nurgle's gifts to flourish into new and magnificent. The hell is this word? Eucundity? Eucundi. F-U-N-D-I-T-Y.

That's the first time I've heard that word. Yeah, with every jab of the needle, every Christmas. shattering of the Alembic? What the? Their blessed suffering brings my concoctions closer to perfection.

What the fuck is this mean? That's what Goal's for, man. Fecundity? The ability to produce an abundance of offspring or new growth, fertility. Oh, that sounds that, oh, yep, that's gross.

Yep, yep, that's nasty. There's Alembic as well. Alembek, a distilling apparatus now obsolete, consisting of a rounded necked flask and a cap the long beak for condensing and conveying the products to a receiver. Oh, so it's like a... Ah, the jab of the needle, the chris shattering of the

Alembic, the flask, okay. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay, that makes more sense. It makes way more sense now. Besides that, and all those different kinds of units and the like, there's a couple interesting weapons that they have that are kind of fun. Nergles rot is, of course, the obvious one.

That's just Nergles rot. You know that one. Sure. The man reaper, the scythe, is a powerful demon weapon. It's carried by, you know, typhus as well as the others. It is a large power scythe, enabling a warrior to face many times their number in battle. Kind of, you know, cut them down, like, reaping, you know, reaping the fields and stuff. Is there anything special about, or is it just like a big scythe?

It is covered in a corrosive poison. Ah, of course. I mean, it is a deathguard weapon, so I suppose it should be. That's fair. A lot of the knives... It's just a big scythe. It's not, there's nothing... Well, it's a power sithe, to be fair.

Well, yeah, yeah. Okay. Which is like, you know, power swords, like the crackling energy and stuff. This just has corrosive stood on it. Okay. There's also the plague knife, which is the knife you always see that looks really crappy. It is basically just a big, broad, trench dagger.

and it is completely corrupted by, well, sorry, it was like a regular, like dagger, a Staris thing that was corrupted along with the death guard when they were corrupted. The blades also transformed. So they're completely corroded with like rust and disease, just covering the entire thing. I'm assuming it's still super sharp,

and if you get stabbed with it, you get just absolutely fucking destroyed by plague and disease and rot yeah one swipe is all it really needs and then after that you're literally like you're just poison

scarlet rot I see so they're all they're all millennia okay good to know they're uh it turns out the death guard home world is just Caelid yeah they would

they would love Kalid. Fuck Kalid too, by the way. Fuck. Yeah. Fuck, Ohio. Cleveland. Literally, Kayla is literally Cleveland, Ohio.

Yep, agreed. There's obviously the destroyer hive, which is that giant thing in the back of typhus with the plague-infested flies. But one funky-ass one is the blight grenade. The blight grenade is also known as a deathhead

grenade. And they are, are made by the heads of the enemies killed by Nurgel. And with sorcerers, the severed head is then covered in a waxy organic slime and contaminated blood until it is watertight. The brain cavity is then filled up with pus and left to fester, becoming a poisonous gas. And then when thrown, it will then burst on impact. and release this deadly vapor.

So they are airtight heads filled with noxious pus that they throw at you. Oh, my God, that's so fucking gross. It's pretty cool. Holy shit. Holy shit. Yeah, that's a lot, dude. Yeah, it's a lot. That's a lot, man.

Holy shit. It's something. Yeah, I feel. think that gets D.K.'s Honorary Jesus of the episode. Oh. It's like...

That's so nasty. It's like how could we make the horrors? Oh, wow, Lois, made horrors beyond my comprehension. Oh, God. They take... That's so gross. I...

I hate it. I love it because it's so gross, but I hate it. I hate it too, but God damn it. Is it cool? Agreed. In all the horrible, horrible ways.

Can you imagine trying to fight the death guard? All the shit's going around and then just this head just plop and, oh, I can't. I can't. I can't even. That's, we're getting close to the end here in terms of just random, like, death guardy shit they do. But there's a couple of funny artifacts that I like. One of them is known as the Delorious Nell, which is a gigantic bell, painful to the ear,

and this is almost intrusive as its foul sounds push the sicking notes into the minds of those nearby. And each toll registers as a dull clank on the data harvest of recording devices, such as things called Vid Thief Skulls, which is it's very confusing but basically like this thing bing bing bongs bings at you

and all of your like bravery and power and for the emperor it just goes away wow that sucks you like ding dong ding dong you're now a pussy damn so it's just my it's just my internal monologue all day long except with loud bell noises

yeah oh great There's also something known as the The pandemic staff There's a ruin engraved artifact With a moldering with a visible miasma around it And every single Is that what we're getting hit with in 2020 2022?

Is that we're getting hit with The pandemic staff? Yeah, it just kind of bunks on you And you just die Yeah, yeah Sounds about right It is this one Every single dent or hole

In it harbors some deadly strain of pathogen, like an old, tired, and proven one of Nurgel's personal favorites. So, collectively, this staff has seen the lives of trillions dead, reduced to just going to Grandfather Nurgel's Garden. And if you wave it around expansively, it can create a tide of hypertoxic fluids. Oh. It is gross. Oh, that's, ah, boy.

Man, death card stuff is disgusting. I don't know if you've heard lately viewers, but death card stuff is fucking gross. Oh, you want one more particularly nasty one? Hell yeah. All right. This is the pus cleaver. Oh, no, what a name.

It is a large plague knife, more so like a machete, but it has an infamous gurgling doom contagion. So one strike from the blade Well not they'll have to deal with the fact that they're getting struck by a blade for one because it's still quite sharp But the wound will become so infected it'll balloon to a swollen mess in a few seconds And then afterwards the individual will keel over Gurgling and drowning in phlegm in their own throat until they finally keel over and die Oh my

Holy shit That's so fucking gross oh, they do be pussin, though. That is the worst thing you could have said it. That is the worst thing you could have said. That boil, it do be pussing dough. That's, you know. This is why I stick with, this is why I stick with Among Us,

because at least it doesn't do shit like this. That boil is very suss. Or I guess it's very puss. Yeah. Hey, hey, look at us go. Throw that ass in a circle Mortarian. Also, I forgot to mention. Yeah, Mortarians' gigantic man reaper's sithe is known as silence because he's an edgy fuck.

Oh, is it any more stronger than the normal man reapers? Oh, yeah, it's Mortarians. Okay, so it's like, it's actually a better site. It's not just a larger scaled one because he's a demon prince. Oh yeah, I mean everything Mortarian does is just straight up stronger. Okay, cool.

Because he's mortarian, because, you know, he's the biggest, baddest son of a bitch. He's so cool. He is very, very cool. With his fucking gas mask and his shroud and his hood and his giant plague wings. He's so cool.

He's a, he's a bad man. He's, he, what would say that he is, is pretty evil. No kidding. No kidding. He smells like shit. I mean, saying he smells like shit is probably a compliment.

He probably smells so... He probably smells like festering, rotting corpses and raw sewage. He smells like death. Yeah. Yeah. Gross. Oh, God, they're all so disgusting, though. I love...

I love how hard they've gone with the sheer, like, disgust of the death guards. Yeah. I, I, I, do you think they go the hardest out of any chaos faction? Like, to their theme, they probably go the hardest, right? Well, they also, they really lean into it. They also have had the blessing of Nergel, but also the blessing of having, like, their own codex dedicated to them and a lot of effort put into their lore more so. Like, Thousand Suns go pretty hard, too, when you think about it.

Oh, yeah, yeah. But, yeah, I think just like, I think in particular they've done a really good job in making the whole, making the whole death guard environment, the whole death guard field, which is really over the top and really gross. And they've, they've sold the theme quite well. Maybe they don't go the hardest, but they definitely, they definitely are some of the better written, in my opinion. Yeah. Also, Shai is good to remind me. I always forget this. Yeah, the mentality of the death guard, like,

the death guard themselves are generally pretty happy. And legitimate, like, a lot of them are not brooding assholes like Bortarian is. A lot of them genuinely are like, Grandpa Nurgle is fucking great. Like, you don't understand. He is so good. You should be a part of this.

and to the point where they like they don't they kind of forget what pain is huh so like if you're getting invaded they're like dude stop resisting like I'm helping you what the hell wow so I mean if you had to be indoctrinated into a chaos

faction maybe it wouldn't be so terrible with Nergel uh depends on you you can handle the opening because I feel like you still you still have to rot and all that stuff first before you can just be a nice happy go-getter but there's also

Slenush that tall glass of slosh Oh yeah it's hard for me to pass up that tall glass of Slenish, you're right Yeah so there is that one And you know they're having a good time too Hmm Shai just hit you with a quote Oh did she?

Yeah, she just did she with the quote you cower from Nurgel's gifts revolted by his touch fear not Nergel forgives your ignorance for he is a generous gob and will bless you all the same soon your fear will melt away

before the plague lord's generosity and with blinded eyes you will see the glorious truth Lord Lurgarius during the boarding of the frigate noble blame yeah they literally think that you are straight up

like wrong that that you You have the wrong idea and they are genuinely saving you. Yeah, fear won't be the only thing of yours that melts away before the plague lord. That's for sure. Your eyeballs. And your skin. Yeah.

Yes. And your, and your, and your, and your, and your, your, and your, your, and your, your, and your, and your, and your, and your, and your, and your, and we can't lose those. No. No, what would Doge Van Dyer do if we lost our feet? Ah, come on. You got it. It would be, uh, yeah, we, like, like, It's a deal breaker, Nurgle.

It's a deal breaker. It's a Doge isn't going to take this. That feat, they smell too bad. Mm-hmm. Yep. Agreed. Yep. I think Nurgle would absolutely be in the feet, though.

Yeah. But like the Quentin Tarantino feet, like the fucking, what's the most of the Hollywood feet? Like the hippie girls and shit there? Oh, God. It's awful. Oh, it's so terrible. He'd be into that kind of feat.

Yeah, he probably would. Oh. What a guy. What a guy What a guy What a guy Jesus Christ Can we go home now?

Yeah we can go home now Can we go home now dad? I hate it here I went off Mr. Brickie's wild ride I want to go home I don't like it DK the ride never ends

Oh God This is Warhammer That's true Something worse will come around The ride never ends Hooray Wee. Yay!

Yay! Anyway, that's it. It's time to take us home. D.K., yeah. What are your thoughts on foot fungus? Ugh.