Adeptus Ridiculous - DOGS OF WARHAMMER (They're all good boys) | Warhammer 40k Lore

Episode Date: June 18, 2025

https://www.patreon.com/AdeptusRidiculoushttps://www.adeptusridiculous.com/https://twitter.com/AdRidiculoushttps://shop.orchideight.com/collections/adeptus-ridiculousCanids are a breed of dog in the 41st Millennium, that was developed by the Imperium after finding DNA of an ancient war-beast on Terra. According to ancient historical manuals, the species were superb for morale and had a wide variety of combat uses. This is still true and the Imperium has countless strains of Canids that are bred or vat-grown to fulfil hunting, attack or intimidation roles. Extensive testing has also shown that they thrive on discipline and constant exertion, such as walking, which they enjoy, and retrieving thrown objects, which they rarely tire of doing. Canids also do not respond well to threats of violence, insults to their honor or accusations of heresy. Experiments have shown that they are best dealt with through firm encouragement instead.Support the show

Welcome everyone to another episode of the Adeptus Ridiculous podcast. My name is D.K. Diamante's. His name is Bricky. But before we get started, if you enjoy today's episode and maybe you want to support us, head over to patreon.com slash Adeptus Ridiculous, where you can get access to the Discord, bloopers if they happen. Shy now does her takes on Warhammer-related stuff. She has three episodes. They're short, little like three-minute blurbs about like the Ork Flyers, the Sons of Malice,

the Ork Ships, the Water Ones. So that is something you should definitely check out over at patreon.com slash adeptus ridiculous, where you also can access to all of our posters in crispy digital format. And if I'm not mistaken, Bricky, we have a brand spanking new poster to show off. That is what I've been told. I think you're going to like it. I mean, honestly, the last couple of them have been pretty good. I see you've adjusted. Oh, I haven't clicked spoiler yet, just so you know.

I have the last couple of them You have taken a stance to be a little bit less TNA and a little bit more like generally What's the word I'm looking for? Tasteful or at least like like the directions a little bit? I'm just click the thing. Yeah, just click the thing. Okay, that's not.

What? That's tasteful, right? What's not tasteful about that? It's all right. It's June. It's June. It's June. I can't say anything.

I'm not allowed to. I will be shot in the streets. Like, I'll be shot dead like a dog in the street. And it's just a nice poster. It's just a lovely, lovely poster. It's a sort of, you know, two guard-related ladies. Just celebrating June.

It's the 69 on the shoulder pose is throwing me a little bit. I'm not going to lie. shy showed me a bunch of work in progress and it is not until literally today that I noticed the 69 on the shoulder plate so it is it is extremely unsurprising this is shy's idea it is the least surprising thing of the planet on the planet

this is shy's idea I can't believe that I was in the middle of making a Pramacan sky rampant deck and this is what I have to be pulled into that was a whole lot of words I did not understand. I'm assuming magic because you've been doing a little more magic lately, right? I have. And it's actually suffering to see how good the 40K magic cards are and how perfect they are in magic.

Like, it's wild to see how the lore has made the magic cards more interesting for 40K than like the models. And it's different game systems, so I can't really be that surprise. but like I'm just like, damn, insert character here. That really works as character here. Pick up the brand new poster at Orcadate.com. Link in the description so that you can get yourself a great new postery dudead. Let's go. Hell yeah.

Hell yeah. Now that we're sufficiently off the rails, I think it's time for me to miss the quote. I mean, guess the quote. I, all right. Here's your quote. Your quote goes, you like dags? You like dags? You're like dags?

Yeah, dags. So I'm guessing we're talking about specifically cybermastiffs today. I mean, not specifically cybermastiffs. Oh, but like sort of like pet creature, dog-related stuff. I mean, yes. Like, yeah, like combat beasts. Who let the dogs out? Who, who, oh, oh, oh.

I can't believe that song is as a popular as it is because it's like not even a song. I could barely even classify it as a musical piece of art. It's got that catchy chorus. That's all a song needs is a catchy, repeatable chorus. Yeah, it's like, what's the other song? With like the two dudes with the techno helmets. Why am I forgetting their name? Daft punk.

What's their song where they don't say anything besides the one phrase? Work it harder, make it better, do it faster, makes a stronger, rolling ever hour after our work is never over. Maybe that one? Harder, better, faster, stronger? Yeah, but you said more words than I thought they had in that song, so I'm going to... Yeah, there are a lot more words than that in that song. Everybody remembers the chorus line, though.

That is fair. All right. Well, anyway, we're talking about dags. I'm talking about dags. Dags. We're talking about dogs. If getting off topic was, uh, gave me money, I would have enough to retire from this podcast.

Oh, yeah, we'd have enough to retire for life. our kids' kids would have enough to retire. The nepotism will be a brand new favorite phrase in the bricky household. But yes, so dogs. I mean, we talked about Arbides nuts last week. And naturally, one of the big things that people often think of when they think of the adeptus Arbides is they think of the often-known cybermastiff dog. Let's go. So this is the foreshadowing last week when I was like, hey, what about the same?

cybermastiff. Are we going to talk about it? That cool thing they've been showing off in all the dark tie trailers. This is why you didn't bring it up last time. Let's go. Correct. That is indeed what I brought it up. Well, not maybe not the reason why, but it is indeed what we're bringing it up. Lots of types of dogs. The one that you know of the most is the cyber mastiff, clearly. But there's quite a lot of dogs. There's actually quite a few dogs. There's human dogs. There's Zenos dogs. The history of dogs. You've got wolves. You've even got like the Mechanicus' dog. There's some There's some crazy things out there.

Anacus dogs. Yeah. Actually, they have models for them. The Cerberus sulfur hounds and raiders. Okay. Yeah, those are really cool. I vaguely remember getting a model of them now. Once you said the name,

it triggered like the memory of them. Oh, yeah, those are so boss. Yeah, I must admit, I find the Cerberus sulfur hounds to be particularly cool because it's just like radiated dog flame thrower, which is, I mean, as far as Warhammer goes, that's a pretty Warhammer thing to say. That is one of the most Warhammer things you could say.

It's pretty up there. So it's some goofy stuff. But anywho, all that aside. So obviously, I, you know, unfortunately for us, Possum, like, has some kind of, like, and ridiculous level of random bullshit facts intelligence. He sure does. And so I get to have the history of dogs in here. The history of 40K dogs.

No, no, no, no. I did not think this was going to be a topic. No, no, no, we got the history of dogs. Oh. I thought it was 40K dogs. No, just dogs. No, just dogs. We're just talking about dogs.

They're domestication from wild animals. Okay, cool. let's roll baby talking about actual dogs um but anyway so um in in the 40k there's a little line in prospero burns that uh kind of discuss a genetic study from o nine that suggests that the ancestry maybe have been a part for dogs back in the i can never pronounce it properly yanksy river over in china um so the yanksy river has a cliff side it looks like a sleeping dog so take that atheists. That is

but it is common the answer to the ancestors of most domesticated dogs come from that area, specifically central and East Asia. And at the earliest

piece of archaeological data, the first undisputed dog is the Bonn-Obercastle dog that was found in Germany in 1914 and originated 14,200 years prior.

There are other less conclusive bones from Belgium. But yes, it would appear that the Yangtze River or the Young Sea River in 40K is part of the Tibetan Plateau, which has the Imperial Palace. So rule of cool dictates that's where the dogs are from because suck it biologists. Hell yeah. Also, I still, to this day, I can't get over how big the Imperial Palace is. That's, it's so wild.

It's hilarious. Also, that really does look like a dog, doesn't it? I genuinely thought Chai put down, like, I thought that was photoshopped. I thought that was like a, I thought that was like a meme giff image. It looks like a meme giff image, but that's a dog, man. That's a dog, dog. He's asleep. Now, now, obviously, in the world of 40K, the use of dogs is a bit more convoluted.

Obviously, they're intertwined nature with humanity. it's obvious that the dogs accompany the settlers who left Tara during the Dark Age technology, went and colonized the stars. But the extent of which can vary, as there are, of course, general dogs that are very common, but there's also rare, fancier dogs that are used for utility or battle or whatever the reason might be. There are also a bit of distinctions between dogs in 40K. They're a sign called canids, specifically C-A-N-I-D-S. I guess you call it canids, but I think canines, so I'm going to call it canids. Those are actually vat-grown dogs, and they're kind of the Imperium's reboot of dogs, kind of like more spawned in a way for particular uses, and a bit of a separate breed from your average run-of-the-mill dog.

Also, yes, that is a canid there. That is a vat-grown katy and the canid. He is quite adorable with his little armor and hat with the ears. And the robot legs and boy, 40K, we just love that growing our stuff. We just, if it can be grown in a vat, we will grow it in a vat. Baby, dog, whatever, sure, let's go. Kriegson, who cares? Kriegman, sure, yeah.

Oh, that's read to Krieger, just vat grown from. Yeah, yeah, that's in the book. But, you know, vats, obviously. a big part of the whole thing. Get your dogs set up. There is, I gotta read this book. There's a huge dive into the ownership of dogs and animal companions in the flesh and steel book,

which I really need to read because I still haven't gone around to it. But, and I know, I know Shai loves it. It's also the book where they have that horrible, horrible, like the Holocaust marching line for servitors to, for criminals that can turn into servitors.

Oh, that's where that's from. That is my grossest 40K thing is that. Yeah, that one, that one's pretty awful. Yeah, it's also in Varengensua, the planet of bloodlines. So got that Blayrunner vibe to it all. Though, so regardless from that, interestingly enough, the ability to properly feed and maintain a pet in the Imperium is in its own right well above the means of the poor.

so ownership of a pet is considered a luxury. Now, obviously, the necessity of an animal, depending on if they're backgrown, cyborg-like, may change it and be more feasible. Smaller dogs need more food. If your dog is half tubing, it doesn't much matter, you know. But, like, obviously, the general idea is that if you're a poor hive dweller, you're not going to get crap. And so, therefore, you need to, you know, get your dogs rolling. Or you need to get more money and more food to feed your dogs. I was going to say the poor peasantry can't even feed themselves or take care of themselves, let alone a dog, a pet, a cybermastive, a whatever.

So, yeah, that tracks. Oh, yeah, totally forgot about that part of Mass Effect too. People could only afford fish because there's no space for anything else. Kind of forgot about that. Yeah, shepherd's fish tank. Yeah, yeah. Obviously, there are other types of undercared for dogs, specifically on necrombunda. There's like a bunch of feral dogs called scabby dogs.

They're befriended by scavies, which is like scavengers. But like they're, how do you say this? It's the kind of dog that like, oh, I'm getting a little bit hungry. They start looking at their owner with quite the vibe. Quite the vibe. Quite the vibe. Please feed me. And yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

And you can be food if I'm not getting fed. You know, you know, a little bit of that, uh, I didn't watch Game of Thrones, but I know some Dune Game of Thrones got eaten by dogs, so, because dog was hungry. Uh, yeah, probably. But yeah, I, I mean, I guess that tracks if you're, if you're trying to raise a feral dog and you don't feed it and is hungry, your food. Yeah. And also like, you know, scavies, scavengers are not what we would be called the coolest of people.

Yeah, they're probably not good owners, so there's probably not a whole chunk load of loyalty from the dog anyway. No, no, most definitely not, so as its own issue. However, there are, of course, other kinds of dogs and wolves. Like, there's a, obviously, space marines, there's a lot of wolf and dog-based legions. You've got the space wolves, you had the Luna wolves, and you also had the war hounds. And the war hounds were? Warhounds were The only warhound that's coming to mind is the like the the sort of Titan-esque like that is a warhound titan but um but no that that was the original name of the world eaters because once um really they were the war hounds then once Angron arrived he was like you know hounds are dogs and dogs obeyed we are not to be like leashed

That's right. As soon as you said that quote, it all came flooding back. Yep. Yeah. There's like a big old quote. That's like, that's like, that's why we're the world leaders now and the war hounds no longer or some kind of thing like that. Yeah. But there's also, this is not a joke written in this script, but it makes me laugh.

A notable space marine chapter that's all about dogs is in the second founding of ultramarine successor chapters known as the Iron Snakes. Ah, yes, of course. When I think of dogs, I too, immediately, my brain immediately goes to the Ultramarines Iron Snakes. It's so funny. Of course. It's so funny to me just hearing that. It's like, oh, yes, this is all about dogs, the iron snakes. Clearly, clearly dogs, yeah.

They do look pretty sick, but their whole deal is that they're all about ambush warfare. And they're constantly in a state of ambush warfare with like the dark eldarm. so they utilize dogs to do a lot of the tracking. It's actually kind of humorous because they talk with like the dog. They talk with the dogs. They have like various kinds of whistles and things. There's a little excerpt where they would drop on their bellies with their chin down. And then they would like, they're extremely well trained big old attack dogs, right?

Yeah. That's just so weird. I would not expect that from the ironing snakes. But I mean, I guess they're ambush related like a snake in the grass. so it stands to reason that they would, but I'm just like, man, why didn't you call them like the iron hounds or something? I don't know.

The iron snake. I'm sure someone was just having a funny time. Yeah. Cool. Of course, when it comes to the loyal breeds of dogs in the Imperium, that would be, of course, the Mastiff. Have you seen a Mastiff before, D.K.? I have seen, no, I've seen, like, pictures of one,

but I've never been, uh, in the presence of a mastiff now. I cannot actually stress how big these dogs are. Like, they're not like some kind of giant wolf or nothing, but they are huge. Yeah, that one's pretty big. Wow. Tibetan mastiffs as well.

Like, mastiffs are huge dogs. It's... Sam Lion. Yeah. I mean, it's a lion, it's like a small horse. I mean, they are genuinely gigantic dog. It's actually terrifying seeing one in person. That would be a Tibetan mastiff, I believe, right there, the big fuzzy one.

Yeah, that might actually be a lion. Yeah. It's a small bear. It is a small bear. Crazy. Now, obviously, in our world, Masters have a very long history of being guard dogs and were some of the earliest war dogs in known history. though they're obviously clearly not purebred by this point in 40K

the models of the mastiffs that we see in 40K kind of look a little bit more like Rottweilers than actual Mastiffs. I'm actually not quite sure why they did that specifically, but the quote unquote, mastiff in 40K is actually much more like a Rottweiler. Yeah, those ones specifically give way more Rottweiler vibes. Those don't look like Mastiff's like at all. I'm pretty sure it's just,

like their colloquialism and it's just them being really big dogs. Obviously a cyber, cyromastiff or also known as razor fangs or kill dogs, are obviously meant to hunt kill or defend, depending on the commands of their owner. And those dogs can range very substantially like a full, like a genuine full mechanical hound like Metal Gear Rising to make it look like a dog. Or it could be a biological dog,

but with some buffed-up cybernetics. Yeah, God, imagining those mastiffs, but like completely cyber-kitted out with like razor fangs and razor claws and everything is horrifying. I'm sad that I don't know the lyrics to the one from Metal Gear Rising, but it's pretty good. Yeah, yeah, that would be a full cybernetic mastiff right there

in that photo. I mean, that's a razor, that's a razor fan. That's a full-on murder dog. Yep, don't want that coming up and biting you in the arm. It'll take the damn arm from you. So there are two kinds of common cyber mastips. The RVR class and the hard case. The hard case mastiff is the one that looks almost entirely mechanical.

And looks like a dog and more like a war machine variant of the Boston Dynamics dog. You know, the one that occasionally says. All the one that keeps getting kicked and bullied to see if it'll react. I just feel like the worst person ever for even watching it, yeah. You know it's going to kill us all. Oh, yeah, that's the start of the robot revolution. 100%.

Yeah, sky nets happen in real time. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. There's also the, oh, so the hard case are massive is the one you might see in Necremunda as well. They're used by the Palatine enforcers. They're, you know, the RVR or Rantle-class Venetis reclaimer. We're going to call it RVR. that's the type of mastiff that is the most common and it's the one that is used by the Arbides.

Sorry, Cybermasdiv. That's the one. That's the one I know. Yes. That's the RVR. The one that you're thinking of all the time when you hear Cyromass, so that's the RVR. Now, they have obviously the more biological look.

They clearly have lots of metal augmentation still, but they're basically just a war dog servitor. That's the best way you could put it, war dog servitor. Oh no Now I'm thinking about dogs getting servitorized And it makes me very sad Yeah I mean I don't really have any like good news for you on that side of things Yes it's the grim dark of 40k

I guess it's just yep You know obviously they rely on really simple instructions You know they're clearly based on combat So Sarmastiff's brain is you know A bit of cogitator and stuff I'm assuming that photo I'm seeing right here is from that necrombando under hive game, because I believe you got a dog in that one as well. Though, I mean, regardless, obviously, the Cybermastiff is a genuinely terrifying sight.

For some, it is the site of an unrelenting attack from a hive gang. But to others, seeing that might be like, oh, the Emperor's Law is here. That's very bad. Yeah. Although, I guess if you're just a civvy, it's like, oh, hooray, the cybermastiff is here. They're going to deal with the problem. So, like, you know, seeing it could be a good thing because it's like, finally, someone's going to deal with those, those yavis that are ruining the underhive city or something. I mean, that's a very sweet and I would argue somewhat naive way to look at it.

You know, me sitting there in the under hive being like, finally, someone's going to deal with these bad people and then like an inquisitor walks by. like, I don't care that they're on my side. I'm shitting my pants, like, on site. It's fair, actually. I guess, I guess you're right. You're right. No, you're right. I'm wrong.

That's fair. I just, I just, you know, I'm thinking about the concept of like, oh, thank God, the cops are here. And it's just like, this dog runs by me at like mock six. And, like, you know he just doesn't care. Yeah. All you smell is. blood and oil as it streaks past you and it's like, oh God, please don't let me be next. The, um, obviously, uh, cyromastus themselves are very strong.

Uh, it's said that the bite of a cybermastiff can tear an ogren's arm off, which I think might be hyperbole, but if it's not, holy shit. Wow. Even, even like, yeah, of course, they're cybermastives. They're robotic. They've got all the amped. They're all amped up. But God damn.

To be able to rip off on Ogren's. arm? I mean, it's big and scary and holy crap, but like, it's, it is, it is, I don't know, I keep forgetting how much like ogrens are insane, though, because they're so big. Yeah, I mean, just, just look at the, the drop ships in dark tide when they're in them and they have to be hunched in there and they can barely fit. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, maybe, it certainly could, but like, you know, ogrens. Anyway, obviously, that's like the main type of cybermassor that you're thinking of that everyone thinks of. That's the one, the cop one.

It's like, all right, that's the dog. Got that dog in them. I mean, they do have it in the tabletop as well. You can actually run... Oh, yeah, it's minis, right? Yeah, you can run Imperial agents, which is like various things, rogue traders, Navy breaches, etc. but particularly one of them is the subductor and exaction squads, which are squads of Arbides.

And I believe one of them, no, they both come with one Cybermastiff. Are they particularly good like the Cybermastiff in the in the tabletop? No. No, not really. I mean, it's like, nah. It's like...

The immediate depression in your voice and having, like, no. It's once per... It's like... like three attacks at 401. Like it's, it is like an unarmed space marine, which I know might say, oh my God, it's like a space marine, but, you know, in the world of the table top, it's not that good now. Yeah. Oh, poor, poor, poor, I mean, it is funny though, but it is, you know, it is funny dog. Anywho.

So all that aside, of course, the other one that we had we discussed earlier was the Canaan. And the Canid is the most prominent. dominant dog that you will find in the 41st millennium. They say these dogs are the result of uncovering the lost DNA of the quote-unquote ancient war beast on Terra. Oh. Yeah, ancient war beast, I guess. Okay, cool. Like, sounds, sounds dope.

Obviously, these are a lot more like German Shepherds. They are also the Belgian Malinoy. Yeah, those are words, all right. I don't know. I mean, it looks a lot like a German shepherd, but it's slightly different. So, yeah, you know, German shepherd, the classic German shepherd is the one you'd think of. I think it kind of makes a little bit sense when they chose this, because I think German shepherds are, I mean, they're clearly very, very strong and powerful dogs. But I think that they're less scary to most people than a Rottweiler.

Agreed. I think, they kind of have like a similar vibe, but it's much more like, oh, what a friendly dog. Can I pet the dog? Yeah.

Yeah. I think it's just the, I think it's just like the visual. And they want something like, if they're going to do the police, when they're going to choose like the scarier dog in terms of like the visuals. Mm-hmm. Now,

obviously German Shepherds were bred with making a very good hurting and working dog and often used for search and rescue, lots of police work sometimes, or decently in the military. and as an aside, obviously, it was the basis for dog meat in the Fallout games, of course. Of course. There was a similar intention

with the Belgian Malinois, whatever it is, and it's descended from the same dog that became a German shepherd, but it is a bit more resilient and a bit more sleek with its senses and a very long history of usage in military, as it was utilized in both world wars

by the armed forces around the world, particularly in the special forces. And as an aside, the Belgian-Maloy played CX404 in the Fallout TV show, which I have not seen yet, but I have been told is very good. Yeah, I've been told the same thing. It's very good. It's another well-done part by, what is it, Walter Gaggins? Oh, yeah, I think Walter Goggins. Mm-hmm.

Walter Guggins Goggles. Anyway, go ahead. obviously in 40k their version is a bunch of amalgamations of various breeds and canids canids can be whatever they need to be depending on if they're that grown or whatever the reasoning obviously quote unquote terran war beasts make them used by the guard a lot because they are good at war and also a very very good for morale um obviously that's a picture shy Jesus He's got an arm. He's from the show, I guess. Give him a hand, right? Obviously, in the guard, they are told to treat them differently than a human trooper and an abhuman because their standards are different. And more importantly, they outrank you as well.

These little dogs. Oh, no. Being outranked by the dog. What a great feeling. It's pretty funny. They're ranking those to prevent guards them from feeling superiors. to one another and to also emphasize the instincts of the war beasts are stronger than some soldiers. If you refuse to follow a candid into combat is a capital offense and striking one is punishable by death.

That's that's fair. You strike a dog, you probably should be just put down. Yeah, agreed. It's just kind of humorous because like, yeah, I mean, the dog is more loyal. than a guardsman often. So therefore the guardsman will outrank you or the dog will outrank you. We can trust the dog. The guardsman, not so much.

It's just so funny as a concept. But you know what? It totally makes sense from what they're thinking about, like the concept they're thinking about like, oh yeah, the dogs are, you know, more loyal than you, guardsmen, therefore they outrank you. Yeah, the dogs are trained to be loyal. Guard are trained to be loyal,

but it doesn't always work. out that way. There's also a kind of humorous thing where there is a caveat, it's striking a Canaan basically, which is like, if issued clear verbal orders by your Canaan, self-report for psychological evaluation following the completion of said orders. That's fair. That is a great reason to get a psych eval. Yeah.

The dog told me to do it. The dog told me to do it. I like how it specifically states. Psych Eval after you complete the orders. Follow what the dog tells you to do and then check your heads. Unlike the members of the garb, canids do not respond well to threats, violence, or accusations of heresy. After extensive studies and experiments,

a.k.a. five centuries' worth, combined with the genetic recreation of these dogs, it was found that they best respond with firm encouragement while dealing with them. The most effective phrases employed by guardsmen to encourage canids include, prostrate yourself before the emperor and I shall rub your abdomen in reward for humility. Or adequate performance soldier. Or who is an effective combat beast? Is it you? The question is rhetorical.

It is you. That's so great, actually. I love that. I love that sometimes 40K will just do. goofy shit like that. I love it when they're just not serious and they're just like, who's a good boy? Rhetorical question.

It is you. It's great. It's very futuristic coded. Yeah, for sure. Other extensive testing have shown that Canis thrive when it comes to constant exertion, similarly to guardsmen, both in and out of combat. They rarely tire of retrieving thrown objects and love to walk. It is the duty of the guardsmen to assist the candidate in both of these respects.

Obviously, outside of the guard, rogue traitors can use them often and, you know, most of their other non-Zenos dogs to their genetic temperament. The best example of this is the rogue trader, Elusia Vane, who leads the Eucidian Star Striders, and her canid named Examilium was selected due to its combination of loyalty and aggression and trained by their voidsmen in arms. There's the dog right there. Oh, that is a fancy dog. Oh, it's a rogue trader dog, so it's got to be fancy. Yeah. Not very mechanical or anything either. It's kind of just a dog.

It's a dog with some marmer. Yeah, yes, that's a dog. Before there are some of the weirder dogs, though. There are a couple other two types of dogs. There is the higher and taller and called the stalker hound. It is a hunting dog used by Imperial Knight Nobles, particularly on Dominion, if you remember from... Hey. A little assassinorum kingmaker.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. They are known for their extremely acute sense of smell and for being exceptionally tall. Their sense of smell is so good that they are a high concern for assassins as they are able to differentiate them from the person they are disguised as. Wow, good thing in assassinorum. Those dogs weren't that big of a thing. It was definitely a thing mentioned, I think, by the Caledus assassin. I forget her name.

Mm-hmm. Okay. On the other smaller end of the scale, there is a battle mutt, which works side by side with the ratlings. They're basically pack mules, and they look like a yoked up French bulldog, and the image of it is the greatest thing ever. Oh, wow. That's one pissed off, dog. See, we need to find the other battle mutt, though. Oh, wait, or is that the battle mutt?

wow it is yoke to the gill so you're right that is unmuscular ass dog I mean I guess if you're a pack meal you kind of got to be like it just comes with the territory you're eventually going to get that way but god damn yeah that that's

that is the mud that comes in the rattling box there's a new kill team of rattling and it's in that box and it's actually quite funny because it has like a rule and it gives you like lethal hits or something I have no idea why if it's just like barking at something is like, woof, wolf, kill it or something, but it's very goofy to me.

That is a silly looking dog. I do, I do kind of love that. It is a goofy dog. It's a funny time. I don't actually remember why it does that. Hold on. I'm looking at the rattling data sheet to see if I can figure this out. We need the rules for the battle mutt.

Please hold. I need to know, ratlings, war gear abilities, ratling battle mutt. Once per battle, when it decides to shoot. It gets lethal hits. I don't know why. It just gives it, I guess. It just does. It just does.

I guess it just does. You know, seeing that battle mode just fills you with the Holy Spirit and you're just more prone to critical hits and better aim and headshots and stuff, obviously. So goofy. Oh, well. All right. And then, of course, past those, you have a couple other weird dogs like the Fenrisian wolves. Ah, yeah, I was wondering if we were going to get to that. Yeah, I mean, it's like a gray wolf.

from Tara, of course. Um, but they're just really, really big. Yeah, big enough to pull a sleigh, eh? I mean,

big enough, well, there's no more sleigh. That's, that's true. The, the mini got updated, didn't it?

And it's not, it's not a Santa pulling sleigh anyway. Yeah. Which is really, I mean, it's unfortunate, but like the new mini does rule.

So it does. It does. But yeah, I remember how big these Fenrisian wolves get. Like, do you have to, like, hunt one or survive, uh, Fenris to become a space wolf? Isn't that part of, like, the ritual to become one?

I feel like you're right. It's like something along with, like, taming the wolf or something along those lines. I don't fully remember because I'm, I get confused between, like, all 20 legions recruitment abilities. It's a lot. But I would, it would not, that would not surprise me that sounds right. Yeah, maybe not killing one because that seems like it would be spitting in the face of the space walls. So yeah, it seems like taming one, befriending one or something has to be part of it.

Taming one sounds right. Yeah. Of course, naturally, the Fenrisian wolves are, and I should make this very clear, they're just really, really big. There's Black Main Wolf as well, which is supposed to serve as the minions of Morcai. and the in Fenerysian slaying it is deemed to be impossible as a taming a black mane which is not actually true but it's like hey

only the most mighty of thunderwolves can ever a wolf lords can truly tame a black mane like it's like that hard status symbol yeah there are also thunderwolves which are much more shaggy and look less like a wolf and more like a rhinoceroid they have similar teeth to sharks and they seem to be perpetually growing and replaced upon breakage by another row of teeth.

Their primary prey are mastodons and ice trolls. And so only space wolves have the ability to hunt these creatures and are then used as cavalry. Damn. I'm just trying to imagine giant wolf rhinoceros shark.

I mean... And it's just crazy. I mean, it's wild because like you look at something like a space marine, a space wolf, and then you think, all right,

go ride it. And it, like, get on that wolf. It's just, it's wild to me. Yeah, it's one of the few times,

like next to those wolves, it's like, wow, that space rain kind of looks normal sized. And it's like, oh, space marines are not normal human size. But next to that wolf,

it's like, it looks it. And it's like, how big are these fuckers? Obviously, then from the Pheneresian wolves, you also have the Admec wolves, or sorry, the Amic dogs. Of course, Admec have cyber canids that are used as their mounted cavalry. They also have, you know, the usual kind of dog that you would expect an Admec to have, which looks like that horrifying thing. Oh, oh no.

Does that really, I mean, I guess that's a dog. Yeah, they're very odd. Despite looking like the various fauna in Horizon Zero Dawn is what is stated, these creatures are still dogs and are described to be vat grown to an abnormally large-sized and stuffed to the brim with cybernetics. Skatari tend to spend years bonding with their cybercated to assure that there is a symbiotic bond because that is the holiest gift in Omnisaya can provide to us Katari, naturally. Yeah, God, those minis are super.

So cool. And Shai said, don't worry, DK, there's meat under all that metal. Technically, there is meat

underneath there. Yay. Well, the minis do slap, so that's what counts. The minis do slap. That is very true. I also like

the one, the dude with the double pistols because he looks like a baller. He sure does. He looks like a, he looks like a knight. Looks like a pistol

wielding cyber dog riding night. Sure. Oh, because the hell of helmet. Yeah, the helmet gives

him their little vibes. That's true. Obviously, these are just purely full of all kinds of cybernetics. They also have

shock dogs, which is rather interesting. So it's kind of humorous here. With a name like that, you would think there'd be electric dogs.

Bad news. Quote, keep back from the wire, Erriton said. We keep shock dogs in the inner rum. It wasn't a dog. It wasn't even an animal. Though it was making the animal growl, the three of them had hurt outside, it was a form of attack servitor, a grim fusion of cybernetic quadruped and human flesh.

It barked and snarled at them, dragging its steel forecloths across the mesh. Its steel jaws so they could bite a man's arm off. Its scalp and nape were covered with a thick mane of cyber cables that draped across its deep-set eyes like dreadlocks. Other shock dogs appeared out of the darkness behind it, drawn by the lights and the smell of unmodified humans. They padded forward, growling, hackles raised, some sported spikes or body blade veins or saw-edge jaw augmentics. They were feral kill-servators permanently goaded to madness and hyperaggression by neuropsychotic implants, with most of their humanity long since surgically exized and replaced by biomimetic augmentation. so holy shit your your dogs at home that you're looking for are just people that are made to act like dogs

yeah i i i oh boy i i was about to say that sounds like some full metal alchemist shit right there where you're just mixing dog human and metal and shocking stuff and just i don't like shock dogs i don't like that at all i mean it's kind of funny though because it's so screwed up it's kind of funny it is it is so messed up for sure I could see that okay fine fine so screwed up that it becomes hilarious all right all right I'll give you that

sometimes you know sometimes it's just it's kind of funny sometimes you have to laugh to keep yourself from crying sure insert insert the tightest laugh from Final Fantasy 10 ah ha ha ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha.

Um, now, for he making a final fantasy reference was not on my ad-rick bingo card. I played 10. I played 10. It was like decade ago or longer, but I played 10. Yeah, 10's all right. I like the, the dude who hit like the volleyball. It's a blitzball. You know what I mean.

The fact that I remember that is should be enough for you. Yeah, it is. It is. It is. Um, obviously you have flesh. hounds as well. Those are the dogs you find in the realm of chaos. I guess

there's also the beasts of Nurgle, but I wouldn't really call those dogs. Yeah, what would you call those, though? Slugs, maybe, I don't know. But obviously, flesh hounds are demon hounds of corn. They are very, very big,

can outrun a lot of things moving at full speed, and they're utilized by the forces of chaos to track and eliminate specific difficult to find targets like a commander. God, those are horrifying. I hate the big flesh wings that pop out of their mouth. That's that, I don't like that.

I kind of like it because they're called, um, corn dogs. Ooh. Okay. Fair. Um, I'm sorry, shy. I'm going to have to disagree with you. I like the new minis better because they look more like, they look more like dogs. The old minis look kind of like reptiles, which if that's what you like about them,

fair, but I like the new ones. I do kind of like the old ones. You're right. They do look a little reptilian, but they still look dog-like enough, and they just look creepier and more like ferocious. And yeah, I like those old ones better. The old ones have their own stay. But luckily for us, we also have Karanak, which is very important, because Karinak is basically just like a Cerberus dog. It's just a three-headed fleshhound, basically.

Hell, yeah. And of course, gore hounds are also a thing, but those are Apex Fleshhounds, leader of the pack, that kind of thing. They also have a collar known as the Collar of Corm, which is created by furnace demons by fusing the blood of slain cykers into the metal. It is forged on an anvil that is based on the foot of Corn's throne, which is basically like protecting them from psychic attacks, you know. Oh, so even if you're a cyker, you can't ward off one of these demon dogs. you're just kind of like, it's just like, oh, I'm going to, I'm going to psych or blast you. And it's like, nope, and it just rips your face off. It's the classic like corn hate sorcery, you know, therefore, type deal.

Okay. So it's the usual. I think it's actually, like, I think it gives you like a feel no pain against psychic attacks or something along those lines. I don't quite remember. Okay. workshop removed Karanak, the Cerberus dog from the game for like, I have no idea why. And we, uh, me and the poor Hammer folks were pretty annoyed by that, especially Brad. Uh, and then they added it back, I guess after enough complaints.

And so the group chat that we have is Karanak, we're so fucking back. Carnac, where about it's a really cool looking mini too. Like, that is one crazy looking Cerberus. Is it good in like, I'm assuming you can run in the tabletop. Is it like a good thing to run? I think it's like fine. I don't think it's like great. You know, it's like, it's a dog.

It's fast. It runs to people. It stabs them. Like, you know, it's a dog. Okay. You wouldn't run in a tournament, but if you're just playing with your buddies, it's fine. I mean, you might run in a tournament. I don't know.

Like, I don't play demons. So I don't 100% know. But like, he doesn't look bad. Maybe he's a little expensive. I don't know. It looks dope. Of course, there are also crude hounds. naturally.

You know, Crude hound is the classic type of crout thing where they can absorb stuff that they consume. They look like a, I mean, I don't really have much to say about crude hounds. They look like a crout dog. Isn't it the thing that if a crout eats something enough that it starts to become it? So is that just a crout that's just eaten like a lot of dog-esque stuff?

I don't think so. I believe they are crude hounds specifically. But they do eat stuff that can make them a little bit different, like normal, because that's what crude hounds do. Right. Okay. They're a little spindly and a little weird, but they're about the size of the larger dog. And they're pretty smart, though. They know a lot of things.

They hunt and have security things and they can emit like alerts at fancy things, a fancy at frequencies. Wait, no way. No, no way. Is D.K. actually correct? I'm right. Let's go. Wait, wait, hold on. My question is more like, are crude hounds in general,

all crout that have de-abilitated themselves because they eat dogs? Or is it like a bunch of crout that did that and now, you know? Well, crew hounds are an evolutionary dead end of the crude species is lucky that the crude hounds came existence when the crude kindred consumed. Oh, so okay, their existence began that way.

Okay, that I believe. Yeah. Yeah. I thought like every single one of them. I was like, every single one of them did that. I was like, ah, that seems like too much. Yeah, that does seem like a lot of much. Yeah.

I love the. the sort of like razor spines that come out of their back. I love that look so much. Yeah, the little quills. Yeah, the quills, that's the word for it. Yeah, I do imagine that I do imagine that this is the kind of

like now there are species and it's all right, but it probably started from one dude to eight too many dogs. Right, yeah, it's not like that's how you get every Crout hound, that's just how they started. Yes. And then of course, I would be remiss to not talk about the squig. Ah, the squig. There are, of course, a couple squigs.

There's two particular squigs. There is the growler squig, which is a small dog, very vicious, like little ankle biters with a full mouth of teeth. And so they're in a sense a lap dog, but, you know, they're horrifying. Ravenous. So they are an orc, they're an orc lap dog. They are a status symbol for their owner. I would 100% would not be surprised If there was an orc book

That had a war boss with a lap squig That was similar to the James Bond Esk like evil villain Mm-hmm Mm-hmm Also the art of it is just I'm assuming Uh

Old old old art that I guess I guess there's never been Probably a reason to do updated art of a growler squig And so we just have this beautiful little artwork. Yeah, I mean, it's old, hilarious, somewhat shitty art, yeah. I said it was beautiful.

I think it's ugly, but I think it's ugly because the squig is ugly. I mean, that is kind of the point of the squig, right? You don't want to make a pretty squig, yeah. There are pretty squigs. It's called a bomb squig. That's the prettiest squig. I love the hair squigs. I think the hair squigs are very pretty.

They make orcs look pretty. Mm-hmm. And then, of course, you have the herd squig. Also known as a squig hound, which is for runt herds for orc society, which a run-herd is obviously tending to the herds of Gretchen slaves, and therefore herd squigs are herding grots to do what they need to do. That makes a, oh, those are horrible looking. Yeah, I mean, squigs are always, like, awful and ugly looking.

Ironically, squigs are one of those things where the minis look a lot prettier than I think the artwork of them because the mini is just like, oh, it's a little dog thing. That artwork looks like a ravenous mutated giant rat. That's crazy looking. That is a pretty good way I would describe it, yeah. Yeah, that's... Imagine seeing that in a dark alley. No, thank you. There are also a couple of like Xenost dogs.

You can find like a reptilian wolf called the Fedrigian Alfac, which is just like a urinates powerful pheromones. Where the hell did you find this? All right. I mean, you know, it's like, what is it like deer piss is what they use to attract the deer? Same idea, right? Wait, you're not supposed to drink that? Oh, well, hey, you're still here. Apparently you can drink it.

It's all right. Actual, actual stun lock for, for, for, for. a good second on that one. Hit him with the real stun lock on that. I was not expecting the what? I'm not supposed to drink, dare, please? It's just a veron, bricky. It kind of do actually be a bit of a veron.

Yeah, a little bit. It do actually be a little bit of a veron. We love a good mass effect reference. I mean, I do like my sci-fi. And then of course You know, we have the best dog The number one most important dog Of all of the hounds and all of 40K

We must discuss the best hound Hound Octavia's companion in the night lord books Uh Fair Oh that's I almost forgot about that The hound is clearly the most important

Hound Obviously hound is the best hound You're right He is the most loyal And besides that, that's most of the dogs. I mean, there are definitely other dogs in the world. There are probably dogs in various random books. You've even got other funny pets like, I'm forgetting his name right now.

Here in Blackheart's funny little monkey, psycher monkey thing. That's right. The one that they really wanted to just strangle and it's so annoying. And, yeah. There's lots of good stuff, lots of good stuff available in current terms of dogs. But besides that. that, I mean, the main dog people probably came here to hear about is the Cybermastiff. And also there's the canids.

And that's the main kind of thing of dogs. And then, of course, you get, you know, dogs from hell and dogs that breathe sulfur and metal dogs and dog dogs. You know, it's interesting. So all of that very cool. Loved it. There was a part of me that was expecting tyranids. And there to be some sort of weird tyrannid bug dog. hybrid that was just like really

like fastened but I mean I guess tyranids don't really need that they're already fast shittering little I mean if there was like a tyrannid dog it would either be a ripper swarm or like a hormagant but those are definitely not they aren't really dogs I don't know I was expecting there to be some weird

mutated bug dog I mean in a sense anything could be anything because it's tyranids you know true yeah if they just eat enough biomass, they could probably, like, genetically make one if they needed it. I mean, termagons are about the size of large dogs, so... Yeah. I don't know.

I mean, I always forget how big termagons are. Big boys. Just play Space Marine, too, right? Yeah, and then when you slam a termagon into the floor, you kind of look at it for a second. Then you're like, oh, there's the guardsman I slam it next to. Oh, it's the size of the dog. Yeah, yep. And then when you're walking next to the guard, it's like, oh, wow.

It's, uh, for that, yep, there's a bit of a size difference. Mm-hmm. Small person, big dog. Yeah. I was, it was, I forget who was asking for it. People were like talking about all the Arbides. I'm like, oh, how come there's, how come when I get an Arbedis update in Space Marine too? And I was like, brother, I don't know what to tell you.

Let me hold your hand while I say this, but Arbides would not do well against what the space Marines are fighting. No, they would not. Arbides are great for very specific situations. and I would argue that Dark Tide is exactly where they need to be. Agreed. They really do need to be there for sure. That's the perfect setting for them. But anyway, that's all I've got for dogs. So, D.K., I have to ask you the question at the end of the episode. You like dags?

What? What? What? What? Dags. Yeah, you like dags. Do I like dags? I don't remember the exact quote. I'm sorry. I just remember the guy gets really confused after this. He goes. Oh, dogs. Yeah, I like dags. I like caravans more.

God, I need to watch that movie soon. No, I won't lie. Like, I feel, this is the most, like, foreigner thing I could possibly say. When I was in the UK, because I reference snatch all the time, just in general, I occasionally threw out, like,

one or two snatch references out there in the UK. And I always got this look of, like, How the hell does he know that movie? Yes. No one anywhere else in the world could possibly know about Snatch. I feel like, I mean, maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like, I don't know, those of you, English men and women in our in our comment section, please tell me. Is it is like, is watching Snatch like an English requirement?

Is it like a British requirement? Because I, I mean, it's the same thing I remember like watching DGLJ for, all of like my Indian friends. Um, and like, there's like the possibility that nine out of 10 Indian people have all seen DDLJ. And I'm almost wondering how much of this is a similar thing, but for, for snatch. I don't even know what DDLJ is. I, that and I was like, the what?

Extremely, extremely popular, um, Indian film, very famous ballwood film. Big start of Shah Rakan's career, which is a huge actor. Um, I can't pronounce it at all because it's very difficult. cold and I think it's in Hindi, so. Fair. Fair. All right. In summation, we like dags. We like dags.

I'll see you. Everyone will see you next week in two minutes. It was two minutes five minutes ago.