Adeptus Ridiculous - DRUKHARI / DARK ELDAR: FORBIDDEN GOTH GF'S OF THE 41ST MILLENNIUM | Warhammer 40k Lore

Episode Date: March 31, 2021

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Welcome everyone to another episode of The Adeptus Ridiculous. I'm one of your host, D.K. Diamantis. And on this podcast, there's something 40K for everyone, whether you're a newbie like me or you're a battle-hardened veteran like co-host Bricky, there's something for you to find and love on the Adeptus Ridiculous podcast. If you enjoy this podcast, head over to patreon.com slash adeptus Ridiculous. It has been going crazy. We're about to hit a $4,000 goal where apparently Bricky and I have to go on camera,

get drunk and read Warhammer fanfiction. I'm so excited for that. I don't know what to expect from Warhammer fan fiction. I know most fan fiction is just, who, it's cringe, but I've got a real expensive bottle of alcohol that I've been meaning to drink. So it's an excuse to get fucking shit face. So if you enjoy the podcast, head over at patreon.com slash adeptist ridiculous. There's a lot of other really cool stuff.

You get access to our Discord, really dope HD posters, blupor reels, and great stuff like that. So yeah, if you enjoy it, patreon.com slash adeptus ridiculous. But today's episode, Bricky, it's the worst trip to IKEA ever with the Drukari. Those Swedes. Yeah. Those damn Swedes with their torture and shit. Yeah, and their damn sofas made out of multiple scroats and human flesh and, oof.

You know what's humorous is that this episode, in a series, sense. Like, Scrotum, like, like, CBT is probably a legitimate thing that this episode will have a heart of because that's, that's like, it's true. It probably happens. Like, there probably is. You know, like, that thing in a lamp, like, the little, like thing you pull on a lamp to turn it on, like, I don't know what's called, like, little, a little chain or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. On the bottom, it's just like a nut sack. Oh. It's just one of their slaves and they're just like, Ch, Ch, Ch, turns the light on. that's that's gross

Bricky that's Honey it's so dark It's so dark in the room I want to read my book Can you turn the light on They're like Can you imagine A Drukari

That's just like oh man I need to read my book And it's just They're just sitting They're just laying in their bed made Of like human souls And just I need to read this book What are they reading

Whether they're any highlights What are they reading, actually? That's a good question. The guy reads something like really depressing. They're reading like Cormac McCarthy's The Road. Oh, God. Or something like that. No, actually, it's not even a lamp.

What a choice. They like turn to their right and the whole light is just like made out of flesh. And they just like open the mouth of the living human and it just shines a light out of their mouth. And it's like, ah, much better. I can see. And then it cuts to like an, it cuts to like an infomercial. And it's like, are you so tired of not being able to read at night in between your raids? Come come check out our newest line of slave furniture.

We got scroat lamps. We got face sofas and our newest product. The finger oven. Oh, no. The spiritual successors to the air friar. The Dr. Kari IKEA infomercial. I like it.

I like where this is going. This is the top tier quality that our listeners have come to expect from us. You know when in the, in IKEA, when you walk around it, they have like a little arrows pointing to stuff. In reality, like the walkway is just a whole bunch of flesh shit. It's just like you're stepping around. It's like, I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it.

So while being slightly on and off topic, I'm hoping that whenever we get shit, face and have to read fan fiction, Shai gives us a large amount of like Gilliman Yvrain bullshit and not Eldar stuff because we are talking about what is probably, in fact, I would say maybe even objectively

the most evil faction in Warhammer, the most depraved, the worst. If you had to pick who are the worst sons of bitches in the whole universe is most definitely the dark Eldar. Not like, not

even like a competition. So I remember when we talked about the, just the regular Eldari, right? Just the normal ones before, you know, the Slanesh Big Suck. And it's like, wow, they were, they were pretty fucked up. They did everything in excess.

And then what was it? Like some of them were like, maybe we should stop this. And then some of them were like, maybe not. Maybe we should keep doing this because it's just fun. And yeah. These are the keep doing it, boys.

Yeah. So I guess a recap for those who have not seen the second episode, I think, of Adepis Ridiculous, was the Eldar. You can't watch it, though. No, no, no, third, third. Second was Necrons. Sorry, third episode. Right, right, right. So a reminder, Eldar, hide of their power, spanned the galaxy, originally created by the old ones to fight the necrons.

Didn't really work. It doesn't matter. Necrons are asleep. For a long time, Eldar, as a species, have heightened senses, physical and mental. their peaks of happiness and pleasure and their lows of pain are higher than a human could ever have just due to their like physiology

and so at some point in time when their entire society was basically self-sufficient they needed to find ways to have a good time so that ended up becoming more and more sexual and explicit depraved things and it kind of got worse and then murder took a point and a large amount of this

actually occurred in the web which is where our story takes place. So of course, Sonnesh was birthed, eight, like, trillions of Eldar's souls, turned them into a dying race. The craft world El-Dar, the people that were like, mm-mm, maybe not down for torture.

They're out super far away. They only survive because they have themselves linked to things called soulstones and shit like that. They stay off Slaneh that way. The Chukari, on the other hand, were the ones in the Eldar Webway, in the secret cities of the Eldar Webway doing the most depraved bullshit.

And because they were in the Eldar Webway, Sunnesh did not necessarily get a good grasp on them. They got that little pinky finger. So they're slowly pulling them. So basically, a Dracari, as opposed to the regular craft worlds and stuff, they are having their soul slowly torn from them. Very slowly pulled from them.

like a sweater with one string loose. I was about to make that reference too. I was about to ask if it was like that. Good, good, good, good, good. We're on the same wave. Hell yeah, we're on the same wavelength. Perfect. Nice.

So because of that heightened senses and all, the Jekari specifically have found that the way that they are able to stave off Sle-Nesh is that other beings suffering in their place will instead not only keep Sle-Nesh away, but will actually rejuvenate their body, like drinking cold water on a hot day or a fast-acting painkiller.

Ooh. I do vaguely remember talking about this in the Eldar episode, and I was like, oh, you know, because I initially thought they were just, I thought they were just fuckers. I mean, I guess they kind of are anyway. They, they're, certainly are. Yeah.

But at least there's like, there's kind of a cool reason that they're, like, so depraved because they're like, ooh, I got to save my soul. I got to refresh. I don't want to get lost to Slanesh. That almost, that actually all kind of rhymed. Anyway, a little bit.

It makes them actually like hate Slenish. They obviously fear Slenish for the obvious reasons, but they absolutely hate Slenish because they deem them as like the people who made them. Like in a sense, their actions create Slenish. And they're like, how dare you go against us? Like, we made you. It's like when your buddy gets a promotion instead. of you and like, fuck you, man.

I made you. Stop that. Your buddy got promoted and then it's trying to fire you. Like, what an ass. What a dick. I helped you get there, man. So the irony is that like the Dark Eldar, the Jukari, if they don't feed, like

feed on pain. And if they don't do that, their body starts to like shrivel and they feel weak. It's like they haven't slept in days or they're like like their muscles feel achy. And the moment they commit some form of torture or pain or agony, they have a glow up.

They look like fucking beautiful. Their skin is smooth. They have like the psychic aura around them. They could take on the world. And so the more, and so therefore, there's the number one statement when it comes to the Jukari. Be sure they never take you alive.

There is no worse suffering than to be taken alive by the Jukari. because they will find the most possible ways to extend your pain and your torture for as long as they can so that it's almost like you're being used as a battery. Oh, yeah, yeah. I was going to say as soon as you were like, yeah, torture and suffering rejuvenates them and makes them feel alive again and makes them feel beautiful. I was like, yo, if you get taken as a P-O-W, oh boy, that's you, you're in. for a world of suffering for a long time because this is 40K. They can probably keep you alive indefinitely just to make sure you suffer indefinitely. And it's like, mm.

Yep. They'll probably torture you for like a good 10, 20, 30 years until the torture is no longer like enough. And the pain isn't really satiating them anymore. So then they'll probably turn you into a piece of furniture and a homunculite coven. and then that little bit of pain is like enough to satiate them for God knows how long for hundreds of years. So it's the worst. They're easily the most depraved pieces of ship. Though I do want to talk a little bit about like as I was reading about the dark Eldar.

I thought that it was really neat how they combine like fantasy and real worlds. Okay, so a lot of people ask me, brick you want you like fantasy or age of Sigmar that much. I'm not a big fan of either. Because I'm not a big fan of fantasy, like stuff. Like, I'm not a huge fan of Lord of the Rings. You know, I just don't really care much for that. There's a lot of reasons, but one of the reasons I really like 40K

is because all of the things, like it is kind of like a sci-fi fantasy, I'm aware. But it's that mixing of modern day and cultural significance in, like, human world into a sci-fi combination. Like, necrons are a combo of Terminator robots, zombies, and a huge Egyptian theme with pharaohs instead of pharaohs, lords,

scarubs, etc. The ad mech are an awesome combination of like Tibetan monks with their robes and their low canticles

combined that with a religious zealotry and like body horror transhumanism. Ultramarines have like a Roman heraldry the space wolves

or Vikings The white scars are Mongolian like braiders And one of the cool ones I like obviously sisters are like Catholic nuns The cool ones is that the Yeah that one was obvious

The Dracari are pirates I suppose they would be pirates Wouldn't they They are and everything from the way Their culture works Their main city of Kamara As well as the way they act, they're a bunch, they're a combination of torturers, raiders, noble houses, and pirates.

And it's a really cool combination that I didn't really know about until I started reading up about them. I think it's super cool. So because of that, we need to talk, like, there's a couple things, three to four main things that really overarching, like, discussed the Eldar. Kamara is like, or it's maybe sometimes Kamarog, I think it's just Kamara. I think you G. Kamara. I need to figure out how to pronounce his first name. Give me a moment.

He's a very important character, and I'm bad at pronouncing. I know his last name is, here we go. Asdrabeil Vect. Oh, boy, that is a 40K name if I've ever heard one. Vect is a fucker, but he's a cool guy. And then we need to talk about. Most Jukhar guys are going to be fuckers. Most of the Dracari, probably mentionable.

Dracari are probably big time motherfuckers. Like I think that's a pre-rek to being a notable Dracari. I know of three major or four major named characters. As Rubel vect, Uri and Lilith Hesparax

and Drizar, who has recently had rules updates for Drucari because the new Codex has arrived and he fucks. Oh my God. So it's perfect

I'm not talking much about Dazar But I'll definitely be talking about like Eurion and a few others But anyway Oh the last thing is the is the Dracari big three But we'll talk about that later Okay So Camerog Camerog is known as the dark city

It's a port city Inside the Eldar webway Hence it's like the pirate haven And like a pirate like Pirates of the Caribbean Right it's like a Tortuga Yeah it's like the big The big pirate haven And the Camarag is a horrifyingly complex city.

It is made up of other cities kind of like folded in on themselves, made of giant spires that look like spiny roots all over the place. It has like dimensional folds, different areas of the Webway have their own pocket dimensions in Camarag. It is nigh, like, it's an impossible maze to anyone that doesn't live there. Jeez. It's completely. It's impossible. It's a way to stop invasions.

Oh yeah. Like how can you fucking understand it? It's just gigantic overlapping spires where gravity doesn't make any sense. And I think, I think shy posted a picture. It's just, it does, it's completely obtuse. And it's one of the reasons why it's so goddamn hard to deal with. Yeah, I mean, I'm looking at this picture. And I'm just like, that's a, that's a city.

That's a place. I mean, it's just like you said, it just looks. like spires. It just looks like star bursts everywhere. It doesn't look like anything tangible to like live in. It's just, it's, what the fuck is that? I know, and it's just compounded on itself. And it's like, that's one of it. There's like pocket Eldar webway dimensions in it and there's like, like, fucking like visual hallucinations. It's impossible. But the main thing with Kamara is that as the depravity, a depravity of, Sleanesh got higher and higher, or sorry, pre-Sle-Shanesh,

Kamaral was like, was like the Detroit in the webway, and it kept getting money. You know, wealth and trade kept going into it, because everyone was going there for their deep, dark shit. It was like the Ohio. It was... It's the Ohio. It's the El Dor, Ohio. It gets a bunch of money, but no one really wants to be there.

I like that. Poor Ohio. Sorry, Ohio. Nah, they deserve it. Especially their universities, right? The Ohio State, fuck you. Fuck you, Ohio. This video brought to you by California gang.

We know we're not much better, but fuck you, Ohio. Anyway. That's fair. That's fair. Fair play. Anyway, Kamara, right? So Ohio, tons of money started sinking in because people kept on going there for all the depraved shit. And then eventually, as the Slenesh birthed and all,

a lot of people came to Cameroag as like refugees trying to escape the big suck. And with that, like millions of slaves are brought to Camarag. And just consistent income of slaves and trade. They have arms dealers and like different kinds of shipsellers. You've got like the ghettos and the slums. And you've got gang warfare almost daily. It's a pirate haven.

It's an actual pirate haven. And it's even surrounded by like satellite realms, which are twisting dimensions, covered in territorial jukari sub-factions that are, it's like sharks surrounding the pirate cove thirsting for blood. It's like the cracking around the pirate cove, right? Yeah. Has anyone tried to, like, invade Kamarag?

Because, like, this seems like, the last place you want to try and fuck with at all. What a great segue DK. How did you know? Let's go! Let's talk about Asdra Bale Vect a little bit. What a

segue. Let's go. So Vect is, you'll come to learn Vect quite a lot. He's like the guy. Asdra Bail Vect is the Supreme, what is Supreme Overlord.

of the Jukari. He's supreme overlord as Drabail Vect. And this man's, he's got some great photos of him. He has one where he's got like these two like pimp-ass fucking Jukari women next to him. I think GW's tried to like back that up, but it's

pretty funny. Of course, of course. So he began... Oh, of course. He began as a slave. In around the 35th millennia, I believe. Give or take. Give or take. Basically, the main thing that happened is that as a slave, he was making his way through...

How do I... I was really hoping you were going to say he was making his way downtown. That was really... Was he walking fast? Yeah. Yo. Places about... Do-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-t...

This is so stupid. So Vect is like... It's like a political schemer, right? He's like a Machiavellian. Oh, no, not, no, not at all. He's a schemer. He's a schemer. And his whole idea for this crazy scheme is so he slowly kind of raised his way up into the ranks of Comoron, either through murder, treachery or anything of that nature.

But then he had the great idea. Like what might be considered an insane gamble, all on black. Now, all on like 32. But to him, everything was planned out. He's like a meticulous strategist. And so he had this concept. So he was part of the cabal of the black heart, which is the name of his major Kabbalite faction.

Cabalites are like a military force. We'll talk about them a little bit later. But the main thing is that going through here, he had this big plan. And in this plan, there's this area called the Desiderian Gulf. You don't need to remember this. It's just the name of it. It's like a wild space area

that is generally known for humans to stay away from because a lot of spacecraft have disappeared during its time frame. It's kind of like the... Well, actually, what's the area that... Well, is it the Bermuda Triangle that things keep on escaping? Yep, the Bermuda Triangle

where ships and planes keep going missing. Yes, so it's like that type of idea. But I guess you could refer to it as like going through pirate-infested waters and you might have like that problem. Right. But with that, with all the ships that have disappeared during that period of time, it was generally the imperial's idea to stay the fuck away.

However, in this area was a huge, huge portal webway into the Eldar webway to Kamarov. But it was shielded by all this crazy stuff to make it look like just a star. Right? This was like a regular star. However, Vect thought, okay, normally we just, kind of take a ship or two. We go in there, we take a ship from our raiding parties, and then the horribly slow bureaucrats in the Imperium are like, well, you know, demons or something, ships go missing all the time,

whatever the fuck, I don't care, because they're the Imperials and they're douchebags. Yep, yep, they sure are. So Vect was like, let's up it. Let's go a little harder. So he made it a priority to capture every single Navy warships. and invade every human world within reach of this portal. He, like, ripped apart guards and regiments.

He took millions upon millions of guardsmen as slaves. He took as many ships as he could, military and supply. He had, like, he just devastated everything. And all it was left were the occasional people, like, huddled, like, oh, my God, my wife and son, they're all gone. They're got to be murder-fucked for oblivion. Oh, my God. Oh, no.

Oh. Naturally, the Imperium is like, a little more than we'd like. All right. Yo, let's not, let's not with this. Okay, so after some time, the goal, the gole-salamander boys. You remember the salamanders, right? Yeah, yeah, I remember. Is that Vulcan or? That's Vulcan. Yeah. All right, let's go. We're doing it.

So Vulcan, so the Salamander's chapter, I know we didn't talk much about this, but Vulcan's gone and they need to find a bunch of relics and they say when they find all the relics, the Vulcan will come back. Right. So, yeah. So they were looking for some relics and they decided to patrol the edges of said Gulf.

And Vect was like, yo, let's take it. And so he took it. He took the Salamander's ship. But Vect is a smart son of a bitch. And with the Eldar households, he's got all these like nobles and lords

and other high leading, Eldar guys, and they all took the salamandership. Unfortunately, these are space marines, and they don't go down that easy. Yeah, I was going to say, like, I was like, excuse me, they just took the salamanders. I was like, those are space marines, yeah? Like, it can't possibly be that easy to just, gotcha, bitch.

Yep, and exactly what's going to happen, because a jerkari are not cykers. They disdain the psychic power, I think, because Senech will eat them. But they had, the Sarmat had a nice librarian. And he shot out a gift for, or a psychic request for help as soon as the starship was taken. And at that point, the other lore, this guy particularly, Lord Zellium, sent a lot of, like, warriors to bring the space marines to be tortured. But unfortunately, the space marines are pretty good at fighting. Yeah, that's their thing, right?

And they couldn't take them. And the space marines started carving their way into a bloody path through all of the area of this Lord Zelian guy. And when eventually, with time as the space marines kept on fighting and fighting, guess who arrived from that nice stress beacon? I don't know who. Actually, I guess I could say the tyrannism. I bet she would have believed me. But no, it's just like a big fucking imperial fleet. a big, big fleet.

Like two dozen cruisers and like all, a huge amount of fucking imperial ships arrived. And they, and interestingly enough, the Webway portal into Comerong was open. And all the guards were dead. What a surprise. How weird. What a surprise.

How weird. How strange. It's almost like, it's almost like, this was planned. It's almost like Vect is a fucker. It's almost like this was a trap of some sort.

Almost. Just just 18th-y tiny bits. Don't we know any bit like it's maybe a trap. Well, luckily for us, it was only a little bit of a trap. Not actually a trap. Really? No, surprisingly not. The Webboy was open.

and the entire imperial fleet entered into Comerog. And with that came a ridiculous battle. Like insane. Like fucking bombers and shit were flying all over the crazy shit. The Imperium was like, I don't understand this place. Everything's left and right up and down. I'm just going to bomb it all. And so they fired drop pods everywhere with Marines and guardsmen and everything.

And they started just blasting shit. And it was a battle of redoubt. Ridiculous proportions. Fucking drop pods were flying down and like crashing into jet fighters and And it was it was such an absolute like complete butt fuck But at the end of the day, I'm sparing you a lot of details because this is a long battle Sure sure But with like all the different Marines in the in the city with all this crazy stuff happening

Eventually the Imperium was Forced back because you can't you can't see it's too crazy it's just too fucking nothing Yeah. But you know what had happened in an exchange? Almost every single Drukari Noble had died. Oh shit. Almost every single Jukari Kabbal faction was heavily injured. Except for one.

Except for this one guy called the Kabbal of the Black Heart and this dude named Vect who was totally unscathed. Oh, really? And he was like, I guess this is my. mine now. And so the ensuing, the power vacuum was huge, so they needed someone to take over it. He was like,

what's up? It's your boy. Oh, so, so did he plan that whole thing just to like, just specifically? He was like, yeah, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, get the Imperium to show up. I'm going to get them to kill everybody

ahead of me so I can take over and I can be head honcho. Fuck y'all. This is my hut now. Yep. In every sense, yep. Oh, what a motherfucker. Yep.

He is seriously a bastard. The whole thing, all the death, because he killed the Eldar Webway guards. He killed his own dudes. To be the whole thing, the planned attack, the political thing, that's a total Jakari thing. There's a power vacuum.

They killed all the. Pirate Lords. Do you have played on Chartered 4? Uh, no. Damn it. Okay, well, anyway, basically, basically, you know, every other major house is gone. He's like, now it's my time. So he self-proclaimed himself Asberdale Vect, and he told

everyone the truth. He was made it very clear. I did this. This was all me. This was my plan. Fuck with me, and I'll do it again. Oh, that's that's a power move right there that cheese like yes he is a fucker but like he didn't hide it and at least he was like yeah

that's me bitch I'll fuck it I'll do it again was that video goofy where it's like you I'll fucking do it again exactly that's the meme I was going for but I fucked it up yes that's the one yep that's all that matters he I mean he has some seriously like hardcore stuff One of his biggest quotes is death is my meat and terror is my wine. That's a Dracari quote if I ever heard one. It's such a Jukari quotes.

What's the other one? Oh, here's another one. We are the lords of despair, masters of terror, dread and agony are our meat and wine, and they are plentiful indeed. Oh, boy. Ay, y'all, y. What a guy. Yeah, what a guy.

What a fucking chat, right? Jesus Christ. So, Vect, I think... Okay, so, remember when we were joking about earlier before the episode? We were joking about the Alpha Legion and shit? Yes, yes, I do. And how you're totally going to do an episode of them soon? Oh, I don't think I...

Okay, so explaining the Alpha Legion is explaining, like, what's up with Vect right now? I thought, I think he was killed. And then he... And then he wasn't? And then it was a fake Vect. And then he was actually dead. and the fake Vect took his place, but then there wasn't a fake Vect anymore.

And now, and now he's like normal. I don't, I don't know. I don't, because Vect is used to be a model. And now he's not. And,

and I don't know where he is. And I don't know where he is in the lore. I think he's hiding or he's in the, he's chill. I don't know where he is. I think he's alive. But I don't know what the fuck he's doing. What was,

like there was some Dracari that didn't like that he was such a fucker tried to assassinate him actually got a body double the real one is insane what like what what the fuck I don't I don't know all I know is we thought he was dead

and now he's not okay hold up shy posted something I'm gonna read it some of you thought me dead some of you even wield it and you gathered here in the Nexus whatever to offer feigned respect but now you see play that my will cannot be undone, my favor cannot be regained, that my wrath cannot be tempered.

Whether you are a loyal or a traitor, you will be slaughtered, for his only right that my ascension be celebrated with sacrifice. And if I deign to have you resurrect him, know that you will serve me by your deeds or by your suffering. Okay, so he is alive. All right. There was a good period of time in which I didn't know what the fuck was going on with Vect, because he's a weirdo.

I love that line Whether you're loyal or a traitor You will be slaughtered Like wow He's got a good example Yeah But it's like even if someone is like loyal to him He's like yeah I'm still gonna fucking

I'm still gonna body you dude Like oh well this actually This is actually nice To segue though Because talking about killing Dark Eldar We need to talk about the big three now Oh okay

This is the main Like there's a decent amount more Of the Jukari Kind of like lore-ish parts But a lot of it is like I usually, it's normally battles. We normally don't. We normally don't do much about battles, you know. Yep.

There's like the age of pain. Of course, because that's what it's called. Of course. There's lots of that, but we generally skip all that kind of shenanigans. Remember, it's not the adeptist everything. It's the adeptus ridiculous. Exactly. If I get

actually, you're missing the point of the fucking podcast. Yeah, but you're going to get actually anyway. I'm always getting actually. And it's fine. I'm okay with actually a little bit with the Drukari one because I was pretty unfamiliar with them, kind of like I was unfamiliar with the night lords. Right, right.

But the night lords were really cool, and the jukari are really mean. Oh, no, the night lords are pretty mean. They're pretty mean, too, actually. Ah, it doesn't matter. Point being. I feel like saying the Drukari are pretty mean is a bit of an understatement.

Undersatement of the century. What's that a single, like a single death is a tragedy, a million is a statistic? Yep That's how I feel with the Jukari Yep Mm-hmm

Like I was sad when Conrad Kurs died I was like man he had a bad time But then I'm thinking about like the billions of people He like he like morphed into a ball And put in a storm drain And I'm like ah they deserved it Yeah Yeah

Fucking jeez So so the jukari are split This is the big thing that I think everyone needs to think about when they think about the jukari one, Kamara, Port City, Pirate Haven, etc. But the Drukari Big Three, both in-game, and by the way, the new Dracari Codex is fucking incredible. It's like, might be the best written codex of all the new edition.

I'm so happy for the Drucari fans. But they're basically cut up into three different, like, sex. I don't know exactly what they're referred to as, but they're mainly split into three separate, major groups. There's the cabals, the witches, and the covens. Well, it's certainly cabals, cults, and covens, but it is consistent of three different kinds of people, which are cabalites, witches, and the homunculi. So basically the cabals are cabalite warriors. This is like a combination of a military force, like a noble house, and a pirate band. Oh, wow, that's quite the

combo. It is quite the combo. Vect was an arcon, which is like the leader of a cabal, hence why his name was the cabal of the black heart. This is the main like military might of the Dukari. They have big fucking armor. They've got awesome looking weapons. Shai posted a picture. That's called an incubi. They look so cool. They look super dope. They make up the highest house in the Dukari social hierarchy. They're like they're like the nobles. They're top tier. They have all the power. Um, they're extremely efficient. They're very dangerous. And they make up the main raiding parties.

They're like the ones that'll move in on a, because when, when Dracari fight, they have like, like skimmer craft. They're, they're like pirates. They're hidden runs. They're raiders. They come in and they're like, they have like a fucking job of the hut looking skiff. And they've got a whole bunch of like cabalites hanging off the side of it. And they move in like subsonic and they jump off and they like fucking cleave people and shoot

people and they're like whip it around they're like super fast all right they're uh they're a glass cannon army they just move it like mock five but they're super squishy and their ability to just jump jump off and like they're super hit and run terror

tactics um they even have a they even have a strategy I'm called pray they don't take you alive or is a prey on the week I don't remember which one it is both both very fitting they're very very fitting The Kabbales are actually a little interesting too.

They have this dynamic between trueborn and half-born. So a lot of Zhukari are born in like vats and tubes because they have to be because they have a really hard time reproducing because stupid Slanesh. But there are some that are actually birthed by like actual mothers in like a womb. Okay. And these are known as the Drukari Trueborn. And the half-born are generally like workers or slaves until they make their way up in the hierarchy, trueborn are like, oh, I was, I was born out of a womb.

Give me best gear, best items, bring me my blood and my wine, and bring me a little slave boy that I can hurt later. They're a bunch of, they're a bunch of pompous assholes, but they're also like horrendously effective in combat. I love your hoity-toity voice. Oh, bring me my wine. bringing my wine blood Timothy

Wine! See, you don't understand I'm so sad you haven't watched text of speech because that's a text of speech reference Yo, yo shy It sure sounded funny. Yo, shy, show him Timothy. I want you to show him Timothy.

He looks like he's the most horrifying thing I've ever seen in my life. Oh, is Timothy that freaky little like I think I've seen Timothy. I think I've been introduced to Timothy. You might have been introduced to Timothy. I don't really remember. Or is he named Timmy?

Whatever, not important. But yeah, Cabalites, the cabals, the competition as a member in the cabal is very fierce. Kaliite warrior is a hostile action against the whole cabal. It's like killing a member of the Yakuza. The whole group would be like, fuck you. Right. The only person who can get away with is Vect. Because, of course, you can.

What a fucker, yeah. Yeah, he's absolutely. You mess with one of us. You messed with all of us. of us. Basically. Uh, the next one,

beneath that are the cults. And the cults are, are known as the witch cults. Um, the witch cults are, are pretty, pretty nasty, uh,

and pretty fancy. They are mainly, I don't think they're mainly women, but I have a feeling that they're, a lot of them are women. And that's kind of the point. Um, they look like,

they're witches, so, yeah, they look like goth GFs. Um, basically, they have a whole bunch of, You know, like, Ivy's whip in fucking soul caliber?

Oh, yeah, the whip sword. Yeah, they have, like, a lot of those. They have, like, daggers and, like, poison pistols. They're mainly meant as, like, blood as a sport. They're, like, acrobats. They jump around over someone's head. They slit their throat on the way down. They fight very often in, like, gladiator arenas.

And so a lot of times, the slaves, or even, like, monsters and animals, will be brought in like a gladiatorial Roman Colosseum arena on Kamara and the witches will have a blood sport like they'll send in a whole bunch of fucking guardsmen unarmed and they'll have a bunch of witches there and they'll like slaughter them for sports. Damn.

It's a whole spectacle. They're very cool. They have a bunch of crazy shit. They have like knives in their hair and they have like the, they have like a Sindel hair thing but it's like covered in knives. and they'll like flip it around and like slice people's throats.

Oh, fuck. The big, uh, the big known witch is a name of a name character named Lillith Hesperax. And, um, Lilith, I think she's the cult of strife or Lelith Hesperax. She's, uh, she's known as a succubis, which are the leaders of the, um, of the witches. Of course, um, she's like the hardcore gladiator lady. Um, they're, they're pretty, they're pretty creative. Oh, here, here's a great quote. Never had so much...

Oh yeah, oh boy. Never had so much alien blood drenched the arena. How could this be followed? The crowd cried out for more. There could be no end of the spectacle now. Then Lilith herself strode into the arena. The crowd hushed at the very sight of her beauty and elegance. Her flesh bared as if taunts the blade to draw her blood.

Her hair loose as if to tempt her adversary to grip it and strike the death blow. This was the way she liked to perform. so calm, so confident, so cold. The crowd gassed as she brandished her chosen weapons, a flashing of ice-cold silver, the kiss of death. Then the aliens were released into the ring. Not one, not two, but ten assailants at once. And Lilith danced with them,

gifting them all a single-choice wound. The crowd roared their approval. The entertainment would last long into the bloody evening. Jeepers. For a Dracari quote That was actually pretty elegant And not It's just the fact that this dude is like

This dude's getting fat on wine In the crowd He's like oh my God She's here oh my God Send me pics Provide Permission to Pog Mistress

Oh no Are we gonna Is she she poggers bro Is she She's poggers as fuck She's just poggers as fuck She was only like a little Poggers in the beginning

But then she immediately murdered 10 town one stroke and I'm like, ah. And she's also always barefoot, I forgot. Oh, no. Oh, so the tyranids really like her then, right? Oh, no. Dude, I wonder, can, I wonder if the tyranids can, what about if the tyranids invaded Kamara?

Oh, that would be. That'd be interesting. Yeah. Could, uh, I, I don't suppose, like, do tyranids feel suffering? Like, if a Drukari was like, yeah, I'm going to torture this nid? would it do anything? I mean, Nids do feel suffering. They're like, they get in pain and stuff,

but I don't think it would matter because I don't think they have any psychic. Yeah, because it's such a, there's such a primal race that I don't know that it would, like, do anything? Yeah, I'm not quite sure on that whole dealio. I don't know. I got nothing.

Tarynids against the Dracari would be, it would be an interesting fight. That'd be like a celebrity death match thing. I would like Celebrity death match Oh I didn't I didn't talk about Drizar

Oh Drizarin Please tell me He has a lot of drip So he can call him Drazip Drizip Yeah

He's got the drip He's Drip I don't I don't like Drizip I don't like that Dizar is a fucking Chad

He is super cool He's like Known as the Master of Blades But he's basically He's the esteemed position of executioner and champion of the incubi, which is, I don't know if you saw earlier, it was that dude with the big fucking blade,

the first cabal guy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's like the master of them. Oh,

so he's, he is a bad motherfucker. He is nutty. There's not a lot of, like, uh, lore on him because he's kind of a newer, I think he's a newer model.

Um, but he's pretty, he's pretty terrifying. Uh, he's got quite, quite the level of murder and he takes a good time in the amount of like pain and suffering he can unleash but before we before we wrap up too much drachari stuff i want to talk about the homunculi um so hoof okay so if you had to choose the most deranged this is the one um these are known as

the homunkey like covens and the homunkey like covens are a group of basically flesh sculptors. Ooh, I don't like where this is going. They are, they're master torturers. That's their job. They're based, imagine a doctor whose whole job is to torture people. Oh, boy. They are the greatest kind of source of pain.

They are the greatest kind of stores of torture. And they have pretty cool get-ups, I'll be honest. They kind of float on like a little spine. and they have like 40 arms and they all have like syringes and scalples and knives and claws and they have like a suit of skin and I've seen minis of these guys

I thought their minis were really dope because they had all those crazy like syringes and they looked like they were like white skinned and it's just they are very cool looking but they sound awful they're the worst they are very rich they're like the they're like the esteemed

dealer. They're like the Walter whites of Kamara in the sense that they aren't in a high hierarchy, but they're extremely good and they're rich as fuck. Their main job is to be the ones who do

the torturing. They're called covens, of course, the homunkey-like covens, but the main thing that they're generally really rich on is the recreation of Jukari. So often, this is a rather interesting thing. Jukari will give a homunculus

a piece of their body a flap of skin or a finger or a toe or something and they give it to the homunculus as safekeeping. Obviously they pay them for it, which is why they're so rich. But in case that Dracari dies in battle,

what the homunculus can do is take that finger and then commit whatever horrendous garbage of torture they can do to people and by doing so can re-greens grow the Drukari from that piece of their body. I was thinking that's where I was going.

So wait, they torture people and that makes the, the severed limb of the old Drucari grow? Yep. So if the old Dracari dies, they can take, remember, the suffering of others feed the Dracari. Right. So this guy will be like, oh, this guy died. All right, he takes this like fucking toe, puts it in like a chamber,

takes like five regular civilians and then just like does whatever the Helly feels like to them to make the most excruciating pain possible. And then the other, the human, the Dracari will slowly grow back to full size from that psychic energy. It's to keep themselves alive in case of death. Because if they die, their souls go to Slanesh for an eternity of suffering. Yeah. I guess I just didn't realize, like, I thought it had to be like, you had to be the one

that was, like, torturing the person to sort of, like, give. get that rejuvenation. I didn't realize that was like a psychic energy that could be like transferred wherever these fuckers want to throw it. Yeah, they're they're pretty homunculi are they're basically the most disgusting of them all. Um, they're units that they run with are things called like racks, which are like molded, contorted skin over like syringes and drugs. They've got, they have these things called like a beast of flesh, I think. I forget exactly what they're called. There are things like

chronos and talos, which are just a bunch of like fucking limbs and spines like molded onto itself and like here we go Drukari quotes I've never grafted limbs this massive onto one of your kind before

I wonder if your spine can support the weight of the additional musculature. I have my doubts but we shall soon find out conclusively. Feel free to express your discomfort as loudly as you find necessary.

Oh God. Dracari quotes man, fucking hell. They are posting pictures of these things and they're fucking disgusting. They are super nasty. It is always

like skin that has been stretched like a taut blanket over metal and spikes over a person's body. It's like taking your scrote and just pulling it over a bed of nails. It's like it's

the worst. God. That first one she posted, I can't even tell what the... It's, oh God, these... It's bad, that's bad. That's not good. That's a... Mm-mm. Mm-mm.

So, do these homunculi dudes, do they ever, like, roll into battle? Or are they specifically just like, nah, we kind of just hang out and experiment on people and fuck them up? Normally, they like to chill in their couches of people, but they do go into battle plenty if they need to. sometimes they do it for the fun of it sometimes they do it just so they can deflect as much pain as they can sometimes they do it because they want to make sure that their subjects are as perfectly

pristine as possible Oh gross Well yeah I guess that makes sense Which we also need to We need to talk about Uri and Rackarth Who might be the most Evil character in 40K

He is the lead Or master He's the master homunculus I have long taken an interest in humans and their crew dabbling in fleshcraft. The adeptus of starities are powerful warriors, but their creators have always been too restricted in their vision. This primark robot Gilliman accludes his mind to so many possibilities, and as such will never achieve the perfection he seeks,

the perfection that I define through the practice of my craft. If he wishes to learn from the master, let him come to me. I will gladly make room for him in my grand disarm. Obliette? Whatever. Pain is the only universal constant. Pain is all. It is the key to creation and destruction of both. Thus does he who master pain become a god.

He is so awful. He looks at lesser races with this air of disgust and disdain and he's like, oh my God, wouldn't it be great if you had like four elbows? Let's find out. No anesthetic needed Yeah I imagine These guys aren't using too much anesthesia

I imagine not too much Local numbing agents Hey probably just going in ham right Any anesthesia They don't know the definition of the word I'm like who What's that? What do you? Dull the pain why the fuck would we want to do that

They got these fucking units called grotesques And they're like It's like a it's a Fleshy looking horror. Basically, they're a bunch of seething hulks of muscle and steroid. They look like bane, kind of. But everything underneath their skin are like syringes and shit poking out of their body. Oh.

And they go to like constantly have modifications. Shai posted a picture of the model. That model. Look, I know it's supposed to be gross. And I know we're trying to be serious about how disgusting they are. But all I can see is like three microphones. on him, like the two on his shoulders and the one... His head looks like a microphone.

So I'm just like, man, that guy probably loves to jam out, man. He has a... That's a Sle-Nesh thing. It's to be very, very loud and screechy. Oh, yeah, the noise marines, right? Yep, the noise marines. Yeah, the silence offends Slinash or something? The silence offends Slanesh.

Yeah, there we go. Yeah, whenever... When we're fighting anybody, we got to use those mics. That's the three of us. We're recording a Debtest Ridiculous on the battlefield. It's very important. Yep. You know.

We scream memes at people and they're like, ah, God, they're so dumb. Fuck. Retreat. The Hummunk, the noise marines are running up. And then when they fire their guns, it's just like a bunch of people. It's like the Fortnite Chug Jugg song. Oh, no.

They're recording the podcast in the middle of the fire. It's like, hey, everybody, it's your boy. homunculus four Uri and Rackarth here got a gonna uh got some imperial guardsman coming up ahead in front of me um that one looks like his knees could use a little bit of capon um let's go all I could imagine is like a noise ring comes up on the battlefield

and he pulls the trigger and every time he pulls it his gun just goes poggers no I hate it poggers pogg paw and then it's like there's like 40 of them so it's just like this never run. Like,

like, Bo-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-G-G-G-G-R. At first, it's just like a machine and then later, like, five seconds, and they just hear, gurg-g-gur-s. Yeah, I like it. It's stupid.

God, damn. There's also other kinds of succubi or, like, witch cults. Like, they have one particularly known as the Hecatrix blood brides. And they're pretty cool. They're, like, pretty high-level.

like cliques of witches. They have like huge rivalries for the succubis's favor, which I got to be honest, I'm surprised, isn't looted on more because it's a bunch of people known as blood brides trying to fight over the head honcho witch lady, which a bunch of women arguing over the like, the approval of the gigantic tall Dom lady. Like, is this not a thing?

Wait. You guys are stuck looting the sisters of battle and you haven't done this yet? Yeah, I was going to say, as soon as you said that I was like, yo, there's got to be so much Rule 34 on these fuckers. Like blood brides, they're trying to get the attention of the head succubus. There's got to be just a treasure trove of porn on these things, right? I would think so. I don't understand them. I don't understand the internet.

Also, on a side note, weapons that Jakari used. use, they're almost all poisonous. Almost every single weapon has the ability in game called poison. But it's also just like, hey, I shoot you with this and it goes into your nerves and it overloads your nervous system with pain or it like flays your insides or it like blows your legs off and now you're stuck and can't move and I'm going to take you back to my house and do things and you're going to turn it to a lamp. It's like a whole bunch of that bullshit.

I guess that makes sense since that's their whole thing is like they want to take you alive. Like, they don't necessarily want to kill you on the battlefield because, like, you know, if they can take a prisoner, take them back to Comerog and then torture them for the next hundred years, that's probably the spoil they want because that rejuvenates them, lets them live longer. Slanesh can't get them. And, oh, boy, it must suck to fight them. I mean, here's a weapon. The impaler, it's a barbed harpoon weapon that has fired at enemies, like infantry and light vehicles and are reeled in. and hopefully set later. There's the,

what's this one? What, splinter pistol? There's like razor flails, agonizers, Venom blades. Like, what do you want?

It's crazy when the venom blade is like, oh, that sounds like the most tame weapon there. Yeah, sure. I sounds like Marines would have that. Yeah, the Marines would probably have a venom blade, sure. The agonizer, though, that's a,

oh. Oh, here we go. We've got witch knives, gin blades, husk blades, venom blades, waded flails, razor flails, impalers, agonizers, Vambrace blades, punch daggers, hydra gauntlets, hellglaves. Hold on we're not done yet. Shard, carbon, splinter pistols, heat land, splinter rifles, haywire blasters, shredders, blasters, fusion pistols, dark lances, disintegrator cannons. Am I on a fucking Lincoln Park concert?

Hey, nothing wrong with a little Lincoln Park, right? But besides that, that's like, that's like, that's Dracari. I mean, there's, I haven't gotten too far into their torture methods and we already kind of did that. Yeah, we kind of already did it with the Eldar episode and just ramp that up to like, you know, 11. Yeah, yeah, just just always, always ramp it up. Yep. Well, with the Jukari mostly said and done, they're fuckers. They are horrendously evil, but they're kind of.

Kind of cool. I like their pirate vibe. There's cool stuff to be found there. There is. The new codex they got is incredibly good. I love the way you can run them. You can run them in like witches or in like Colts, Covens, and Cabals. They all have their own rules. They all have their own like abilities.

It's pretty cool to have a whole bunch of dudes hanging off of like a raider and just rolling up to you and jumping out and beating your ass. It's kind of neat. There's also a fantastic ability called 80s. of Vect, which is, was recently changed, and it's maybe the most evil thing ever. I know, I know you don't understand it, but trust me, it's evil. Okay. But, D.K., do you want to tell our viewers what our next episode's going to be?

Uh, I, oh, what, what is, what's our next? Oh, oh, that's right. It took me a second, because we've been here for a minute. We're doing Admech next. We're doing Adeptus mechanics. Praise the Omnisiah. We're doing it. Admec. They're getting a new codex in April.

It's perfect timing. Now is the point. I am so excited for that. Every time we talk about the Adeptus Mechanicus, it's like, oh, they're so cool. And every time you look up their minis, their minis are fucking dope. And I can't wait. I'm super stoked about Adeptus Mechanicus. Same for me.

So for all of our viewers, thank you so much for listening or watching. Mine is Bricky. You can find me Bricky everywhere, Twitter, Twitch, streams, all that fun stuff. YouTube. D.K. Where can they find you? D.K. Diamante's Twitter, Twitch, YouTube, and Real D.K. Diamanty's on Instagram until we make it big, and I just... Hell yeah. And you can find Shy quite shallow or quiet shy, whether that's YouTube, Twitter, etc. Thank you all so much for watching. Don't forget to check out Patreon.com

slash adept is ridiculous, and we will see you next week. Yep.