Adeptus Ridiculous - Entertainment in the 41st Millennium: Mandatory Fun | Warhammer 40k Lore

Episode Date: November 12, 2025

https://www.patreon.com/AdeptusRidiculoushttps://www.adeptusridiculous.com/https://twitter.com/AdRidiculoushttps://shop.orchideight.com/collections/adeptus-ridiculousIs it all just suffering in the 41st Millennium? Today we investigate the rare and often dangerous concept of "fun," cover the Imperium's many convoluted card games, Perturabo's obsession with using literal wargames to plan battles, and the absurdly complex board game Regicide, where the goal is to achieve a "Full Mate." Finally, we look at propaganda holodramas, Ciaphas Cain's favorite sport "Scrumball," wild literature like a romance novel set on Krieg, and the Imperium's "mandatory fun" holidays like Sanguinala.Support the show

Welcome, everyone, to another episode of the Adeptus Ridiculous podcast. My name is D.K. Diamanties, his name is Bricky. You know why you're here, but before we get into that, if you enjoy today's episode and maybe want to support us, heading over to the Patreon. Patreon, patreon.com slash Adeptus Ridiculous, where you can get access to the Discord, bloopers if they happen. $15 tier gets you access to all of our posters in crispy digital form. You should check it out. Patreon.com slash Adeptus Ridiculous. Bricky!

Talk words. Talk words. Here come words directly firing at your face hole. Incoming words. I hope they like those words, D.K. That's one way to launch into it. Damn, here's words launching right at your face hole. Open wide, idiot. Yeah, you open wide. Here come the words, baby. Yeah, there's words. Not sure how to take that. Yeah, well, you take it to the face, clearly.

Yeah, yeah, that right to the face hole. Open wide, yep. Yeah. D.K., what are your thoughts on snubbed game of of the year winner of 2024 Balotro. I like Balotro. I have fun with Balotro. I had a small, addictive episode with Balotro. That being said, Astro Boy is just so adorable.

Like, I'm, I'm quite happy at one, though. Okay, you're showing your age a little bit, D.K., Astro Boy is the burger place. Astro Boy is the critically acclaimed grandfather of anime. Oh, wait, no, I think there, isn't there an Astro Boy like Burger Place somewhere? Isn't that, isn't that just like, oh, shoot, isn't that just like Burger Boy? It's Big Boy. Big boy. Okay, sorry, there's an Astro Burger in L.A., but there's also Big Boy, which is like, is the mascot.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay, my apologies. We've taken a trip this morning, everyone. We have. We're really going around. We're on a journey today. So, but yes, AstroBot, which I maintain the statement that a lot of people who were mad that at one game of the year were simply, who simply had not played Astro bot because it's quite fun. Such fun.

That being said, it was not Ballotro, which I, myself, Baricchi, have a whopping 342 hours in, have 100% completed and have probably another 60 hours on on my iPad due to my flights. I like Balotro. Yeah. Yeah, I trust me, I'm aware. So the, with all of that stuff going on, I would ask, D.K., do they have Balotro in the 41st millennium? I mean, I'm sure they have some version of it anyway. Like there's mass technology.

They love gambling. Sure, why not? I'm sure there's some crazy. a digital game balatro-esque thing in 40K yeah, I'm gonna say yes well if there was a little digital

balotro that would be something to be played on a tiny little cogitator in which the red robe dude across the way would look at you and get very upset that you dare use the blessed machine for recreational purposes however one would say that

in the grim darkness of the far future there are many of ways in which you would want to relax take some time off you know have some fun play a little card game or a board game now for the most part most people

relax by fucking just just like today just like today and it's the reason why the Imperium is a horde army because god damn do they can they spit out people you gotta replenish the ranks right and uh and people

always will like how does the Perium were replenished their ranks so much. Do they have like cloning vatch? No, brother. There's a million worlds and they all be fucking. I thought, how do they replenish their ranks? Well, let me tell you.

Orgies. Indeed. And Chai says, isn't it a fact that people in rural areas fuck a lot? I'm almost positive. I remember large amounts of people who are like in like deep middle and nowhere inland empire that are like, yeah, all I do is bang hookers and do crack. because there's nothing else to do out here. That does sound like, yeah, that sounds like the IE, all right.

Yep. So, because, so in the world of Warhammer, most of the time they'd be banging. But sometimes they'll be gaming. And so today we're having a nice little light episode, something a little bit more relaxing. We're talking about games, fun, and merriment. Merriment, wow. Also, I'm actually, since we were talking about, I'm kind of surprised that Ballotro and Warhammer have not done a crossover and had like, you know, a Warhammer themed deck for Balotro. I would pay money to a mater to provide to me this.

I would 100% pay money to some kind of artistic, whatever, monitor to allow me to get these things. That being said, yeah, instead they're choosing to make the 900th vampire survive. clone. Yeah, and I'm still going to buy it. I'm going to tell you that. Like, those vampire survivor clones games got me by the balls. I'm, I'm right there with you, shy, but like, I'm still going to show out for it. It's like, I don't know.

It's like if, uh, it would be like if, if Warhammer made a burger stand. I'd be like, really, a burger stand? And then I would go and then I would buy the burger. Yeah. I'm, I'm actually very vampire survivor out as well. However, I will play it because it's, it's 40K. Yeah, I'm curious about it. That being said, speaking of,

this is a vampire survivor, DK, you got to play Ball X-Pitt. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt, man. I've been playing that for a while. Okay, good, because this game rocks. I also have a lingering addiction to Ball X. Pit. Yep, yep, you are. I'm already there, brother. Welcome.

Very good. Very good, because I have been, unfortunately, Ball X-Pitt has been grabbing my balls and pit. Anyway, fun games and merriment. So, obviously, in the world of 40K, it's a world where might is right, and it is one of the harshest realities in all of fiction, minus insert subgenre culture of things someone will definitely tell me about.

Now, there seems to be no real break from the everyday terrors, and if you continue to live a even more regular life, you've got to find a way to have a little bit of fun. And though there is very limited information and an amazingly large amount of throwaway one-liners, the games and entertainment in the world of the Imperium do have a place. And that can be traditional games,

hollow entertainment, musical pieces, mandatory feasts. And so we're going to have a little bit of an example of what people do to kick back in like, to hang out in this world, you know? We did that whole episode on like food. Mm-hmm. Remember?

And it's kind of a similar vibe where it's like, you know what? How is the sausage made for just like hanging out? Things you would read in a guard book and most likely not much else. Yeah. Or yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely a guard book about their, oh yeah, I'm going to go buy the new PlayStation 3,492. Yeah, exactly. And then they're like, oh, man, why is Halo on this one?

Yeah. It's like, oh, Halo, the nonfiction story in 40K. So obligatory comments on the fact that, yes, Warhammer, the Imperium has a million worlds, right? Fun as a concept is obvious from the drop, but it's very relative to the planet. Not only is there a sense of the accessibility to it, but it's also the type of fun. Now, you can imagine that entertainment on a night world might be something a little bit closer to like medieval times. Have you been in medieval times, D.K.?

I used to go to medieval times when I was much younger every goddamn year for my birthday. Really? I need to go back at some point just for the nostalgia. So I've only been there like twice. And whenever I think of like what does a very traditional, American family do for like the family get together

I very often think medieval times oh I feel like in the 90s and maybe early 2000s you would be 100% spot on now not so much it's you know you're probably right I remember going there and being like

oh you go here to drink like they give you a half of a Costco chicken and you drink. I've never drank there because I was a kid. So I had the, uh, you know, I had a diet coke and a big beerstein, but you know. Shai mentioned that in the new rogue trader deal. So you go to the feudal world where they write horses and you hang out at the rent fare. And shy, is that the, um, that's the, the Arbides one, right?

Because that, yeah, that's where all the servitors are all playing music and is actually really fucked up. The music, sir. well, yeah, yeah. Are there, am I thinking of 40K that has pleasure worlds, or is that a different faction, or am I think of literally a different universe? Yes to all of the things you just said.

Great. They do have that. Now, I would obviously state that, like, other factions have this too. I'm sure the Empress children have some kind of pleasure world. I don't want to go to an Empress Children pleasure world, though. I don't want that one. It's mainly just a playground for nobility, which probably means it's an absolute hellscape if you're like one of the concubines,

unless you're one of the really good concubines, and then you probably live a little slightly better life. But yeah, you know how it is. It's the place for the really, really rich to be weird. Really, really awful. So obviously there's the night world. And then, of course, you might find something a bit more urban like a hive city, things like fighting pits is a one that's pretty often. But very often, more often than not, entertainment is, of course, a luxury.

And since it's a luxury, it's reserved for the upper crust. Actually, Possum does mention pleasure worlds, of course. But the odds of anyone seeing them, outside of top shelf nobility is basically unheard of. Like, a pleasure world is literally, it is a, okay,

I'm just going to say, it's basically the Epstein Island. I see. It is, it is a fancy place that very few people know about that only the highest crust of people go in order to get their fucking kicks in whatever way they would like.

And it's not good. Right. So this is not a place. The pleasure world, if you're just like a guard soldier, or something, you're not going there. Hell, even if you're a space marine, you're probably not going there. Maybe a shady inquisitor or something or like you said, the nobility.

But this, yeah, it's very... I mean, a space marine might go there if you've been deployed, but they sure as shit aren't there to bang. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Space Marines aren't going anywhere for pleasure other than to war. To war. But, I mean, yeah, I mean, maybe an inquisitor has to go there because of an issue

or then you've got to find something. But for the most part, it's for planetary governors to go off world, fancy high-crossed nobility, probably rogue traders, you know, etc. But so that doesn't mean that all the entertainment and enjoyment is, of course, given to the nobility. It just means that it's often trickled down from the top. And due the entertainment being a bit of a luxury, it is as well as the arts being a bit of a predatory stopping ground for Solnash. The obsession of the arts and enjoyment tends to be synonymous with the Prince of Pleasure. so a huge swath of composers and artists are often known for succumbing

to the dark gods or being associated with Folgram. So obviously take this with a massive grain of salt and let's go ahead and specifically talk about the fun and games. Hell yeah. Also, another quick thing about games in 40K obviously most of the time when they're presented in a story

it is not, my dog, hello dog. I'm going to need to close the door. I heard the whip, like tail on our golden retriever. Yeah, I was going to say, I heard that. Strong and it just smashes on everything. Okay, hold on. Come on. Come on, Miss Mortar.

One moment. How many people remember when I used to have my cat in recordings, people are like, DK, we can hear the bell. And, oh, you got to, you got to take the cat out. You can't let the cat in. And chat was

like, no, leave it in. Oh, man, we come full circle. All right, there we go. circle um but anyway sorry um so most of the time uh when they're presented in a story it's not a sequence where the people involved are playing a game and having a blast it's very often not the beach episode of an anime but they tend to be used in the books as like a narrative way some kind of like symbolic meaning or an allegory that furthers the plot um and with most cases of arts in 40k the lack of information is kind of by design uh because you know it's random world they want to make up some kind of dice game

that happens he played on Agro World 4-7B in the Ultimus sector or something, right? And when you have a million worlds, it stands to reason that, sure, yeah, there's an exclusive game only to this one place that we didn't totally just make up. Yeah, yeah, of course. Like making of swears, you know. Yep. You know, I always like that because some places do say fuck, but then, like, the Tanneth and the Gons go say feth. And then the dude from Dark Tide says, Karkin. Yeah.

So, you know, this is interesting. Anyway, card games. So one thing that comes out of the gate that's very common in almost all of the books are cards. Now, so we know this significance of the Emperor's taro, but that's mainly used as some kind of like, you know, sometimes they use it as a way to scratch the future or things like that. Normally, though, the most commonly used trope in an imperial novel is to reference some random-ass card game to never be explained again. Of course. So let's barrel through as many as possible. We have chonk, which involves multiple players, like five-card, much like five-card

Rakesh and Sickles, which also implements the uses of dice another way. You've got card games involving gambling like Emperor's Ante. You've got a gambling game called Darktown Wist, which is featured in Darktide. There is a gameplay with the deck known as the Darktown Tarot, and it appears to be a reference to the real-world game of Wist from the 18th century. you've also got other card games like knights and knaves, hearts and titans, and devil and games, or some devils and dames solo. And if you're a part of a noble house, you might play a card game known as Covenants. There are also games that we know our play, but we don't really know what it's all about.

Like Dominion Genesis is mentioned two games that are common in mess halls as well as, or sorry, Dominion Genesis is mentioned as well as two games that are common in mess halls called Blind Quarter and Reget or Ration. Egypt, R-A-J-E-T. Okay. Knights and Naves sounds super familiar. Was that in the book that we read? Let's see. Knights and Naves?

Maybe it was in Assassin Arm, Kingmaker? I mean, that's probably my assumption. They're so familiar. Like, that immediately that one, like, I was like, damn, there's an itch that's being scratched in my brain. And I don't know if it's just because Knights and Naves is sort of, it's not quite alliteration, but it's close, right? Knights-Naves, and it's like, ooh.

that does something in my brain. I mean, is there an alliteration require the first letter to be the same or the first sound? I could know, but eh. I try says she also wants to mention to shame Possum real quick.

She made a joke that my favorite Warhammer card game is Sabak, S-A-C-B-A-C-C, and Possom was confused and asked which book it was mentioned in. Oh, Possum. Oh, Possum. Very unfortunate.

It's okay, Possum. Very unfortunate. Even I know about the Star Wars, Savick. It's okay, Possom. You get all the other weird references. All right. Missing one, not a big deal. So we also have board games, and that gets a bit more meta.

So outside of card games, we obviously have plenty of board games in the Imperium. And they range from really, truly unique ones and have some of a basis in reality. One game that is very much known. in the real world that exists in the imperium to some extent is the ancient game of Go, GEO, which is considered to be the oldest board game that has continuously played to this day. The earliest recording of the game Go is from 548 BCE in China, but we also have reference to it in the Horace heresy novel Scars, which I believe is about the white scars, shocking. Pretty sure.

Pretty sure Jagatai talks about it a little bit. He's like, ah, right aside is shit. I like Go. I mean, for white scars, they would absolutely love a game that's just go, except most white scars just jump on their bike and like, okay. I do like how, I do like how the idea that the white scars like the game go is because they're fast and not because the cultural significance of like the white scars nationality works with old BC China. No. I mean, they're Mongolian base, but they kind of have a little bit of a little bit of everything from there. so it's kind of goofy.

No, no, they like go, they're like go because go fast. Yeah, because go fast. Obviously, they're white scars. Like, come on. That's exactly where my brain went. It did not even trickle towards the realm that you mentioned. There's another board game that has a direct reference to real life. And it's a gameplay by the space wolves known as.

Oh, Christ. Hinaffitful. Holy hell. Oh, hey. Yikes. Oh, man. Okay, yeah, yeah, you read this. okay yeah well you know i think i think you said it about as well as you could because i would have gone for

i would have maybe gone with nephatiful but yeah that sucks nefatifle yeah i don't i don't know yeah that's that's brutal brother that's tucks it's it's a two-player game or whatever uh it's a gridded board and the board is known as the taffle board which is a reference to a group of ancient northern european gridded board games that were really popular in like norway denmark Sweden, Iceland, etc. It would be eventually overtaken by a chess as a more popular game, but there is a preservation of the Tafel games that are still

common nowadays. Space wills playing chess sounds so fucking weird to me. They're still like thinkers at times, man. I don't doubt it because they're space marines, right? And sure, but like just the idea of like, whenever I think of a

space wolf, I'm just like, oh, they're partying, they're drinking, they're their pseudo grog that they made to get themselves drunk and having feasts and playing chess? It does not enter my brain as a thing that space wolves do. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. It's a little bit goofy. Yeah.

But at the same time, I don't know. I feel like they'd play. Yes, I guess the actual game you would think they'll play is who can piss farthest in the snow. Yeah. Or they would just like wrestle or something. well, I can definitely see the wrestling part. Regardless, one player in Hanif Falafel has white pieces

and there's black pieces. The player with the white pieces starts in the middle with a single king surrounded by pawns and the player with the black surrounds the board and the objective is simple, the player to kill the black pieces and the opposite is to kill the king. For the player with the white pieces,

it is to have the king successfully escape the onslaught. It would be no surprise that Lehman Rusk was a master of this game. found it pretty easy to win. Yeah. Primark. Yeah. You like that stuff.

Speaking of tricky names, the board game of Ulator, Ull-L-L-A-T-U-R. Turns out Ullator actually was the board game that was disappeared and turned into Armageddon. Oh, of course. Yeah. Yep. It's another pretty common board game. It's a two-player. It involves a board full of hexagonal spaces, which means it's as close to hero scape as we're ever going to get it.

and it has two sets of pieces known as the Raven, the Crone, the Prince, or sorry, is hexagonal spaces with two separate sets of pieces. And these pieces were the Raven, the Crown, the Prince, the Light Bear, the Knight, and the King. And the game was created on Terra and spread throughout the Imperium to the point where some planets have totally different variants of it, different pieces, house rules. For example, a variant of Uliterr is played by the scholars of the noon-reach. cluster and used two extra pieces not as the fiend and the messenger and they explicitly state that the player that moves first is that is at an immediate disadvantage oh one of those games okay i and also i'm just sitting here with baited breath waiting for you to mention the one story where

they decided to go super meta and made a made like oh yes they also play hammer of war 80 000 where you paint your own minis and i'm just like god who what primark would be the most skilled that actually playing warrior bear. I mean, I'm pretty sure that does somewhat happen in the sense of Per Chirabo. Because I remember vividly Perchirabo being like, Fulgroom, come look at

my battle table and there's a bunch of like little mini titans and stuff. And and then Perchirabo grabs Fulgram's head and smashes his face into the titan and says, shut the fuck up, you bitch, I hate you. Do what I say. That's the abridged version. That's the fan dub, actually.

as the fan's all according to Kekakou. It's about right though. Yeah, that sounds good. I like it. But obviously, with all that, you have the most and common and biggest game in the period,

which is Regicide. You've definitely heard of Regicide. I've definitely heard of Regicide. I didn't think it was a game. God damn you. Obviously, Regicide by all accounts is very similar to chess and it's viewed as a game that is very simple

to learn but extremely difficult to master but the more of the game is explained it feels more complex or sorry the more of the game is explained the more complex it feels then chess. It's like this weird combo of like chess and Tritigo give or take.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's often played by individuals at the bottom of hive cities all the way the top of the spires. Officers of the Guard play it frequently to hone in on their tactical senses and prowess. It's viewed as a game for generals, often to many.

And Regicide is ancient due to its ties to chess. And a variant of it known as castles is about as old as the Great Crusade itself, further emphasizing how old Regicide is. So each player either picks one of the two colors of pieces, or the pieces are set up and the board is spun to determine who is playing which color. The most common variant of the game includes using hooded pieces, which would act as a different. piece until they were revealed or they killed another piece, which is very similar to

Chatego. Damn, regicide is so much fun. I don't get it. And it just sounds, it's just funny thing to say. Because, like, also, it's, it's 40K where, like, regicide actually just happens a lot, all the time. And it's like, oh, boy, we're going to go commit regicide. And it's like, the board game, right?

Yeah, the picture of episode two Anakin. Yes. I'm so glad the wavelength is like right there. Love it. Is Regicide killing a marital person or just a family member in general? I thought Regicide was like killing like a king. Regicide. The action of killing a king.

Oh, yeah. Let's go. I think maybe I thought that was the case because very often. often it's like the younger has killed regicide. Yeah, like the father, like someone, you know, in the family kills the king. Um, okay. So yeah, well, I mean, yeah, that's, I mean, Horace heresy was literally right. All the time.

Yeah, like, this is very common. I mean, it's a grim dark world full of war, right? Like regicide is a norm. Uh, now, so there's other variant known as double. Regi, which as the name suggests, it features two boards that are parallel to each other. One played backwards using militants as crowning pieces, and the other played long with centuries wild and a freedom to regent up on white squares. Variances that exist also include the implementation of other supplemental things,

such as like decks of cards and random stuff like that. Also, speaking of squares, the board to use. to play regicide is actually generally circular with a standard chess-like grid. So it's divided into segments that are made up of nexus connected by curved lines that form the shape of a board. So the circular board is widely considered to be the classic board. And playing the game without hooded pieces

also considered to be the proper way to play it. Now, circular board sounds so weird for a game like that. I think, well, they said that's kind of the chess board there, but I also imagine it's because the thing where they spin it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, there it is. It exists IRA. That's, that looks so strong. I mean, it's probably just because, like, when you think of, like, a chess-like game, it's like, oh, yeah, square board, obviously.

It has to be the norm. And it's like, seeing a board like that is just like, what the fuck happened? It's a bit, it kind of throws the brain off a little bit. Absolutely does. Yeah, it's kind of neat, yeah. Now, if we're onto the pieces of the game, as this is 40K, they literally can't simply be Bishop or Horrible. So they have lots of pieces with different names Like the Canaan, the Castellan, the Chorra, the Citadel,

the divinitarque, the dragonar, the emperor, the empress, the fortress, the magister, the monarch, the Templar, the Tetraq, and the warrior. Because they can't... It's fun, but yeah, they can't just fucking call it rook. Yeah. Now, there are some specific rules, too. The Primark is a piece where it has its own player-selected set of moves that are unique.

And the citizen is a disposable piece that fronts the major pieces, protecting them blocking their movement upon, uh, also humors that the citizen is the one that like, you know, uh, the threats every mark's throwaway piece. Um, the only piece that can move a citizen is the ecclesiarch, which makes the usage of an ecclesiarchal piece essential for aggressive strategies. So you need the, um, you need the church to whip your citizens in the shape to move them around. The Warhammer social commentary on what the Imperium is like is just like it is palpable. Holy shit.

Nah, D.K., the Imperium are the good guys. You don't get it. Obviously, what am I think? That's what I'm trying to say here. Wow, good job. You just don't get the strong social commentary that's pleasant. Oh, true, besties. So instead of check Matt, check mate, excuse me.

The winning position of Roger Stey is called full mate. The same winning position I had it with your mother. Damn. God damn, you possum. Hey, yo, Paws. Now, there are a few scenarios that result in a full mate. When a full mate is achieved in a blind siding manner, it's referred to as a blind man's mate. A fool's mate is when a player is baited into moving into a position that results in a fool mate.

And a player that underestimates a trap set up by an opponent and falls into the fallen victim. is the old catachin hook. The catachin hook. I like it. It's also mentioned above that using an ecclesiarch to move citizens around in a particularly aggressive strategy is used on a strategy involving the cleesiarc is known as the Traders Gambit. I was going to say, I thought that was just called the normal gambit. The other last board game that's mentioned lacks a name, but it's very familiar due to the fact that it is essentially, as you thought, Warhammer.

Let's go. I also feel mildly proud because, as Possum states here, the biggest fan of Warhammer in the 40K universe is, of course, Peter Turbo. Because in Perchiravo, Hammer of Olympia, the Iron Warriors were working on strategies to attack the Hurud. And they essentially set a game of 40K to suss it out with Grand Battalions attacking batteries. But the playing of the game showed the Iron Warriors that they were not quite ready for the assault. because the person who played the Hurud basically was like kind of started beating their ass.

Oh. And so Perthrob was usage of the board game would be a fixture on his battle strategies through the Horace heresy. Where in Angel exterminatus, he would use it to make a point about his gamer prowess as well. In the where the Imperial Palace was under attack in a scenario, he tasked three of his war smiths to play against him. And in the first game, he would play the role of attacker. and he was able to breach defenses and capture it. And then when the scenario shifted and he was a defender, none of the warsmiths could breach his defenses.

So naturally, he was the one who got the PVP armor in Final Fantasy 14 because he's just that much of a gamer. Wow, Possum made you say a Final Fantasy 14 reference. That's crazy. No, that was off the dome. That was off the dome. Damn, really? Yeah, I know about the whole, the really, really terrible armor issue they had with the Feast in Final Fantasy.

I think they changed it a while ago. But I remember, I remember that initially, and like, however one who had that armor was like a cheater or something like that? Well, all I know is the last time I played 14, getting the PVP armor relatively easy, just time consuming. You just have to, it's, it's not that bad. MMO life. Yeah, and yeah, I'm going back to it soon because they changed the glamour.

And it's not a big deal. You move on. I do like the Final Fantasy 14 guy that they added to magic. Zeman Zeman Zaven Zeman Zeman Zaman

Zava The guy who's your best friend The guy who's your best friend Yeah he's like I don't want to kill you You're my best friend You made me feel something for the first time And he was like

She's like chill FF 14 guy who is best friend I mean I haven't played it in a while But I'm like Zeven Zivan The villain A guy? made me feel.

FF14. MET Selk? Villain Villan MTG card. What the hell? I'm going crazy. I was like, there he is.

Zenos. Zenos. Okay. No, he is not your, well, he thinks you're your best friend. That's the first friend. Well,

doesn't matter. Spoiler, he thinks you're his best friend because you can actually stand to with him in combat and you actually do kill. him. Yeah. He's crazy. I know that. Many times. He's, he's, that's, that's his whole, his whole character trait.

All, he's the simplest character ever. He just, he just wants to fight you. I know. That's cool. That's it. That's all. Also, also, his, his card rule is really cool. Um, when he transforms, he picks a player and when that player loses, you win. Oh, that makes sense. Yep. That's, that's, that's, that's very him coded. So in a four person game, he's just like, yeah, you. And when you lose, I win. And then the other two players are like, shit, we kind of got to protect this guy because if he loses,

we lose, you know? Oh, that's kind of cool. That's really cool. Anyway, so during or turning traitor, Perci Rabo specifically, would not remove his passion for playing the game. After the invasion of Ultramar, Hansu goes back to Medrind Guard to seek favor from Perchirabo. And upon meeting, Perchirabo literally sets a terrain table up and puts out pieces and says that saying that through, or sorry,

and saying that though it's something that can be done with Hallgrams, it's really fun to return to the fundamentals sometimes. Also, it kind of sucks that like, what the hell, GW? You make the Harad playable in universe, but not in the tabletop. That's crazy. It's crazy. I don't know if the Harut are really in that many books

outside of the Per Trambo one. Phil. Maybe, maybe. Give us the Rud. So, outside of, like, board games, games and stuff and other fun types of merriment. You do have hollow dramas and of course, sports.

Sports, let's go! Go Dodgers! Yeah! Go Dodgers! Even in the 40th millennium, the Raiders are still having a losing record. Let's go! Let's go! Who cares? Fuck the Chiefs! Agreed. Hell yeah, brother. Hell yeah. Fuck the Chiefs. I don't know anything about football. So, entertainment, obviously, is not related

just to Tabletop Games. Not that Games Workshop would know. And, uh, meeting is still around in some capacities for people to enjoy. They like little bits, well, so long as they enjoy propaganda. In 40K is not propaganda. It's just the truth. In the Arbidi's episode, we mentioned hollow dramas a bit, and this is thanks to the Caiaphas-Kane books, which gives us a few really good examples of hollow entertainment.

The first is a hollow drama known as Arbitrator Foreboding, which is presumably a drama-style show like CSI. its catchphrase is the Imperium never sleeps and Inquisitor Amberley Vale describes the protagonist of the show as someone who hunts aliens, mutants, and heretics with relish

and a very big gun. I mean, as you do, as you do. Kaiv's Keyes Canes actions during the first siege of Perilia resulted in the creation of another popular holograma called Kane's Heroes that provided a fictional recounting of the event.

and also due to the name of popularity of the drama, Kane's Army in the Siege became known or Keyes' Army in the Siege became known as Kane's heroes. Okay, okay. Immediately reminded of Hogan's heroes. Never seen it. It's just that's what the name reminds me of because, you know. Yeah.

Kane did not like the drama because of the creative liberties took with the combat. And the Kane character in the drama had a love interest. And the show disregarded the actions taken by Farik Yergan entirely, which is screwed up, man. That's my boy. Oh, poor Yergan. Man, Juergen, thanks for doing that. But you smell like shit.

Also, thank you for killing the brood lore with a melta gun. Yeah. I wish you didn't smell like shit, though. One other also known holodrama was made about the fighter pilots during the Gothic war and was called Attack Run. Inquisitor Vail was a fan of the show, especially. But her inquisitorial savant, Caractus Mott, did not like it.

as he specifically stated, he was able to spot 437 historical technical inaccuracies in the first episode alone. So he's a Redditor. That or, yeah, no, actually, that's about it. That or someone on a Warhammer Facebook account. Yeah, actually. It was extreme unactually. These Iron Warriors don't have the correct hazard stripes. Now, the cane books also give us a brief example of sports in the Imperium.

He mentions a game called Scrum Ball. He played when he was in the Scola. It's kind of similar to rugby. He's a big fan of a team called the Harriers. Oh. Kind of neat. Now, he remarks that he was always wanted to have the upper hand on the pitch, but also said the only team that was able to beat the Commissar Cadets were the novitiates of the sororitus,

who seemed to think the point of the game was saying the greatest number of opponents they could to the sanatorium rather than scoring goals. Oh no. They're just dirty. Also, Shai said, wait, Possum didn't mention the funniest one. Oh? Shai, what is the funniest one? There is a little bit more going on here, but there is a humorous moment where

Kane mentions later he responded to a cultist yelling blood for the blood god, and he yelled back, Harriers for the cup and shoots him. Let's go. You imagine if somebody did that in like a war setting. Blood for the blood God. Chiefs for the Super Bowl. Do you want to read this? A romance set on the reputed paradise world of Krieg

with the convoluted title, My Wish to Generate Children with You is only exceeded by my devotion to him. That's crazy. It's genuinely his story. Stereical, though. Very, very creak. I like how it's on the Paradise World of Krieg. The paradise world of Krieg.

What do Krieg do for fun, eh? Besides just self-loving. Also, also, I do like the idea that Kane had his, like, rugby team, and they were beaten out by the sister novitiates, which I find double humorous because it's basically like a bunch of commissars or like people in the scola, uh, fighting like, you know, a full team of girls, but, uh, based on his response, who's seen the point of the game was to send the grace and out of people to the sanatorium rather than scoring goals.

You can assume that the sisters just like went absolutely ballistic on them with like, like, use every dirty trick in the book. My sister tells me this that like when she was in water polo, when she was in high school and stuff, that girls are like, mean. And they, they like, when, What is under the water, you know, is, uh, uh, what, what, it's all fair game. And she would like get, like, scratched up and all kinds of shit. Damn. Savage. Savage. Yeah. So, humorous. Also, they have a game called Grasshopper, which is literally just fucking cricket. It's cricket. It's cricket. Okay. Yeah. All right. Um, now, if you are a real buff individual, you work out at the library. Um, and obviously, there's lots of literature at the library.

but actual physical books are considered to be a luxury, particularly a paper book, which is really not common. If a physical book is around, it's mostly like you printed on vellum, which is very interesting because vellum is actually what I used for shirts. Yeah, that's kind of weird that books are printed on vellum. Yeah.

But so the parchment is often made from porcime, which is their version of pigs. Uh-huh. And so most of the giant parchments you'll find in 40K are written on this substance due to its sturdiness. And it's one of the largest imports to tear itself by sheer weight. Entire dynasties are built around the production of vellum because the Imperium is a backwater society who needs so much goddamn fucking scrolls and parchment and vellum to write their orders out and send it by carrier pigeon because you can't use a goddamn internet transfer. Of course you can. Of course you can.

Are all of the Imperium scrolls on vellum? Like, if you look at a space screen and you see all the, what are they, the scrolls of whatever on them, the where that has names and... Oh, the purity seals. Yeah, purity seals. God, I don't know why I couldn't think of that. I'm assuming that's also vellum, or do they use a special, like, paper for that? It's a various kinds of parchment. I mean, for the most part, you would assume that it might be some kind of parchment slash vellum.

And it could be vellum, but also, it would not be surprising if there's, like, variances, depending. on which chapter you're part of and stuff. But one would assume like a vellum, yeah. Now, obviously, it's still a bit more of a luxury. So if you're an imperial citizen, you are more than likely reading it on your data slate. And the most vellum and imperial citizen may encounter during their entire lives would likely be in the form of a devotional, like, pamphlet of sorts. Now, the Imperium is very particular by the preservation of knowledge and storing records, as knowledge repositories are very common, obviously. This can range from the municipal library or an archive to an entire planet dedicated the storage of records and books known as an archive world because of course they do.

We also know from a few sources that bookstores do exist on some worlds as it's a fairly commonplace of all things considered. You can find lots of things of literature, textbooks about planetary histories are law, you can find some fiction. Inquisitor Gideon Ravnor wrote a well-regarded. piece of literature called the spheres of longing that stands pretty high up there as essential philosophical work. Here's a little bar they drop from it. How may I ask the emperor what he owes me? What all I owe is to the golden throne and by duty I will repay. Oh, wow. What an upstanding citizen. Yeah. Ask not what you can do for what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country. Truly, truly. I enjoy the fact that in the philosophy book, it's, um, the answer is to serve.

As it always is, unfortunately. Kindness is a weakness and all that stuff. Uh-huh. Um, now, another notable work that can be easily found in the early Horace Heresy books is by remembrance, sir, uh, our boy, Ignace Carcassie. Let's go. Called, uh, reflect. It's always so funny we said that because like, I like Carcassi as a character. but he's such a prick. Oh, yeah, he's an absolute asshole. He's so funny, though. But he made one called Reflections and Odes,

which that work won Carcassi, the Ethiopic, sorry, laureate, and secured his reputation as a significant writer. Later, he disowned the work because he found it as sort of navel-gazing and irrelevant to the galaxy at large. And then he was strangled to death. yeah oh man poor guy what a life what a i mean he didn't deserve that but he he was a shit lord

he was i always i always that but like i'll always remember him just like like like uh whatever whatever whatever her name was being like ignis my eyes are up here he's like i know darling but this is such a better view right uh yeah he wasn't a great dude but he maybe he deserved to be strangled to death. Yeah, you know, he's a little lecherous, but like, yeah, probably, probably don't do what he got it. Now, as you can guess, there's an incredible amount of name books throughout the 40K, and it's really hard to find them all. So the funniest ones Possum found was, of course, the Krieg one, shy mentioned earlier. There's avoiding becoming your own grandfather and other paradoxes that create unnecessary paperwork for the administration. by Inquisitor August

held in the third. What? The seven? What? Are, oh, are you, are you confusing the third and the seventh? Or what, what's what happened? Inquisitor August held in I-I-V.

I-I-V? I-I-V. Not V-I-I-I-I-I, and not I-I-I-I-V. Maybe you put one more I in there. I was going to say that'd be a real convoluted way to do three. Yeah, maybe it was only four and he actually put an eye in there. Maybe, maybe. But yeah, avoiding becoming your own grandfather and other paradoxes that create unnecessary paperwork for the administratum about chronal dilation during warp transit.

Yeah, because it's the extra paperwork that makes it a problem. Well, it was written by Inquisitor August Helden, the whatever, the elder slash younger. Oh, no. So clearly he had a problem. So he was he was like fry in that one episode of Futurama, eh? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that one. Yeah. There's Dreamer Unsleeping by Ibrahim Izevius Ecto on the life and death of Malcador the Sigelite.

And of course, the guardsman to Scatarius phrasebook, which includes low Gothic to binaic translations and phrases you can build up relationships with your Scatari comrades. Very important. Sure. Now, obviously, you've also got music. These tend to be mostly hymns, as well as battle songs, of course. But there are some that are a little less on the nose. In Dark Tide, there's a conversation that is accessible between the male arbitrator and the female zealot, where the arbitrator mentions that he plays the grim harpsichord,

while the zealot says she plays the accordion. And the arbitrator takes it on a very positive and borderline encouraging manner, which is weird because it's an arbitrator. Yeah. On the planet of Tanneth, the traditional instrument of the Tanneth pipes are not only used for recreation, but are also used to help outsiders traverse the Nullwood forests. As you may remember, the Tanneth Pipes are basically just a Scottish bagpipes. Bagpipes. Yeah.

They have some traditional home songs like My Love Waits in the Nullwood Greens or Over the Sky and Far Away and Wild Trub's Wild, a few examples. also the harpsichord sounds like it fucks the harpsichord is a cool name right yeah that's so cool anyway yeah just had to mention that there's another historical well-known song called the ballad of trooper thom which is a folk song from ultramar this song is about a dying soldier telling a beautiful nurse

how wonderful his home world was and how he'd never see it again so the song will become considered to be in poor taste though as it's singing about kalth's former victories before the treachery tore it apart at the Battle of Calh. So instead, you're more likely to hear the operetta, the brothers of Ultramar nowadays instead. That's fair, especially if you're an ultramarine. Yeah, I probably don't want to be singing about the glory of Calh.

Yeah. Also, notable old guy, Belisarius Call is a big patron of the arts to an extent. He's a fan of the fairly ancient Baroque composer known as Bach, as in B.A.K. B.A.K. Not actual Bach, yeah. No, I mean, it could be bach, but they're not spelling it like bach, so it's bog. It's their bach, muck, muck, exactly. In the book Rogel Doran, the Emperor's Crusader, you have reference to a child composer from the Great Crusade known as Eleanor Hergletax Wessam.

Wow. Yeah. One of their compositions was on a music box and it lasted for 53 minutes. It was kind of a string arrangement, but it has a few crescendos, a few random instruments in succession, like the Jovian thunder drums and the violatus. And of course, you got the holidays, which is mandatory fun, D.K. Mandatory fun will be had on this day. I think anyone's ever gotten executed for not having fun on a holiday? I believe you could be executed for walking weird in this world.

Yeah. So one of the obviously best examples of fun is the state-sanctioned celebrations, which is mandatory fun because they're state-sanctioned. Obviously, one notable holiday is Emperor's Day, but it's notable for a couple of meta reasons. Around the holidays last year, the Warhammer Community page made a post about Emperor's Day that included an authentically recorded imperial hymn that was written and sung in high imperial Gothic, known as Never a Silent Night. which is very true. Two very notable feasts in the Imperium are the Feast of the Emperor's Ascension, which I'm pretty sure you've heard, and the Feast of the Primarch's Rebirth. The Emperor's Ascension celebrates the Emperor's transition to the Divine, and is traditionally a weak-lawning event of feast games and other events to celebrate him. This also includes sacrifices for the Emperor in a symbolic sense, like burning books to provide the Emperor knowledge.

Oh, geez. All right. That's great. Well, sure. Sure. When you said, oh, yeah, sacrifices to the emperor, I was like, oh, yeah, the thousand psychers a day, not enough. No, no. I mean, it's like personal sacrifices, like a legist sorts, I guess. It's also a very popular time to get married or have children. Though it's not celebrated everywhere, it's widely regarded as one of the most important holidays in the imperial calendar. And as you can guess, the feast of the Primark's rebirth is actually. to celebrate Rebutte's return. I'm sure he loves that. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure he's just like, I don't give a shit, I'm too busy doing paperwork. I'm too busy being utterly depressed at the state of the Imperium when I woke up, you fuckers.

It's traditionally to celebrate this occasion with a fasting and ruthless self-flagellation and a marathon ecclesiarchy lit. A marathon of ecclesiarchy litanings. Lit to knee sessions, my apologies. Yeah, I don't know why I'm surprised I'm just like, oh, man, the starvation and self-flatulation Certainly not in the Impia, oh, no, yeah, that tracks.

Yep, no, never mind, let's just move right along, that's normal. Yeah, fasting Ruth of self-flagellation and a, and ecclesiarchal litany sessions are all things that Gilman really likes, I'm sure of it. Really? Oh, man, he's just, yeah. But obviously in this scenario, in the meta, right reason, it's basically Easter, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, most major saints in the Imperium have their own special day of worship, but the Festival of Saints is a day that accounts for all the saints, including some that are too small to have their own unique day. And so outside of normal saintly celebrations on this day, the Festival of Saints provides Imperial citizens a chance to pitch a potential saint to the Ecclesiarchy. Priests deal with massive lines of citizens because virtually everyone knows someone who die in the name of the Emperor, pleading that they know someone worthy of sainthood. however they really don't ever go anywhere except for the fact that the last state that was raised was in the Colixis sector about two centuries prior the regimental standard provides us with information on Heart Day

which is an ancient Terran custom which you can read here D.K. Oh, what is Heart Day you ask? Historical record show it was a mysterious festival where citizens signaled their compatibility by displaying gifts fashioned after the hearts of powerful foes they had presumably defeated. As brave defenders of the Imperium yourself, we're sure you can relate. In accordance with these customs, we've collected motivational cards from many branches of the glorious imperial military to represent their willingness to fight and die alongside you.

Yay. There's no distance that can keep me from you, image of Death Strike Missile Launcher. That's good. I like that. That is the Valentine's Day card for sure, yep. 11 barrels of love pointed. When did that you? Your genetics fall within the upper fifth percentile. Report to my laboratory for examination.

My God, these are so good. Reception of designated goodwill. This kind of reminds me of, um, uh, what is it? The, the, oh, crap. Shy, you should know this. What's the hell diver's form you have to sign if you want to buck? Oh, yeah, yeah, what is it the... I forget what it was.

Doesn't it, like, spell out sperm or something, too, when you, like, put it all together or something? A C-O-1. Oh, so close. Also, I like the reception of designated goodwill. As any soldier found to be in need of goodwill or companionship shall be issued one, firm handshake from the appropriate munitorium personnel

or servitor in case of unavailability for services rendered in the name of the immortal god emperor of mankind. It's a fucking thank you card, but in imperial speech. Firm handshake, brother. Firm handshakes all around. The superpowers handshake with Hogan and Macho. Man, that's what I imagine for that one.

And then, of course, lastly, and often something that we've referred to before, is sanguinola. The most revered day in the imperial calendar as it commemorates the grace, charity, and sacrifice of sanguineas, as well as the general martyrdom for the emperor. That's for a sanguineas. It was on the blood of martyrs that the Imperium was founded, of course. And outside of references the name, there's not a whole lot of information on sanguinala. It's just, hey, this is Christmas. Yeah, yeah. And very clearly a reference to the Roman feast of Saturnalia, which served as an influence on Christmas itself.

Hell yeah, sanguineous. Hell yeah. Or sanguineas. Sanguinala, obviously, it's a big one. Also, yeah, of course, you have Grotmas, which is Ork celebrating Christmas. Yep. Which obviously there are many a many minis for Grotmas. And they're all pretty, they're all pretty great, honestly. I have a few of them. Many a many minis.

The fact that you just rattled that off off the top of your head is actually quite good. Many and many minis. Many and many minis. Yep. Warhammer 40K. Subtitle, many of many minis. Many minis. Many minis merriment.

Many a many Mary Mini Minimans Merrimentsy Minimans Damn We're on that alliteration tray now for sure's I am for the most part That's a lot of the upper level Or like random stuff you see in large amounts of games Various card games, board games and so on

There's a very high change That there is other random throwaway lines And various other books I'm sure they've got one where it's like Oh yes the people The Guardsman regiment of the the Pupith, McFordeth, 69th Regiment, played shit in harbor,

which is a board game found to be very funny with the lower ranks. They literally use their own feces. They throw them at each other, you know, in between games. But for the most part, it is always, it's humorous because it reminds me a little bit, well, of course it reminds me a little bit of helldivers because they've got the same, they've got the same satirical, fascist kind of styles. but I find it humorous because you've of course got state-sanctioned holidays and sanctioned propaganda that you can watch.

Oh, crap, what was the name of the Corian love movie in the Citadel D.L.D.C. from Mass Effect 3. I do not remember. The only media, like, spoof thing I remember from Mass Effect is a good old Blasto. Blasto the Hanar. Oh, yeah. Love that. Yeah, oh God, I forget the name.

It's very unfortunate. Genuinely, I don't remember. It's super funny. Oh, well, actually, you know what? Aquarian romance movie. Let's end this with this little guy. Oh, yeah. And it was some, end it with a little bit of ad rick spinning off into Massa-Bek.

Let's go. Fleets and Flotilla. Oh, that's right. Oh, that's, as soon as you said that it all, it can. came flooding back in, that's, that's fair. Leeds and Flotilla. And then of course you also have Elkhore Hamlet. Mm-hmm.

Naturally. Yeah. Also, if, I don't know why, I was like, oh, by the way, BioWare, if you could make Talley remancible in Mass Effect 1 so I can have her throughout the trilogy, that'd be great. But that's, that's like, hey, can we update chess? Hey, hey, biowler, while you're at it, can you put the Mass Effect 3 multiplayer back into the legendary edition, you hacks. Right fucking now, please.

Right now. Immediately. The thing that I spent like 500 hours in because it was actually amazing and had no right to be that good. I think I probably spent, oh God, I might have spent war frame time on the mass Effectory multiplayer. I might have like 6,000 fucking hours on that goddamn thing. Yeah.

Oh yeah. By the way, Imperial Holiday. Chiras have a happy sanguinala or else Yeah Yeah All of you're in the Imperium You're gonna have a happy sanguinala right You've been so indoctrinated with propaganda at that point

That even if sanguineas wasn't a good best boy Primark whatever you'd still be brainwashed to enjoy it right I mean yeah of course Because how what else are you gonna do That's true what else is there to do Yeah Happy sanguinala. Oh, a sanguinala decoration sheet.

Fixed bayonet, cut out sanguinius, insert tab into slot. Participation is mandatory. Failure to cut within the line will result in disciplinary action. Holy shit. God, it's so funny. I love it. Oh, my God. I love that.

Oh, goodness. All right. Well, that's what we got for today. Hell yeah. I hope you enjoyed your general merriment. I think it was a good timing because obviously we've got the holidays coming up. You better have. It'll be some good times.

And for all the rest of you, enjoy your festivities or else.