Adeptus Ridiculous - EXTINCT SPACE MARINE CHAPTERS | Warhammer 40k Lore

Episode Date: September 4, 2024

https://www.patreon.com/AdeptusRidiculoushttps://www.adeptusridiculous.com/https://twitter.com/AdRidiculoushttps://orchideight.com/collections/adeptus-ridiculousLost Chapters are Space Marine Chapters that have been destroyed. Some were annihilated in one sudden strike, while others were slowly diminished through attrition, being unable for whatever reason to recruit new marines fast enough to replace combat losses. Information about such chapters is often lost during the millennia and all-too scarce.They should not to be confused with Renegade Chapters or Chaos Space Marine forces, who have been declared Excommunicate Traitoris by the Inquisition and/or the High Lords of Terra. These forces technically still exist but have gone rogue, breaking their vows of loyalty towards the Imperium. Some of them simply fell to Chaos, others are idealistic rebels who rejected the all-too oppressive Imperial authority for some reason.Support the show

episode of the Adeptus Ridiculous podcast. My name is D.K. Diamantis. His name is Bricky. You know why you're here. But before we get into that, if you enjoyed today's episode and you want to support the podcast, heading over to patreon.com slash Adeptis Ridiculous, where you can get access to our Discord, bloopers if they happen, $15 tier gets you access to all of our posters in digital HD format, or you could maybe pick up the legally distinct Carcadon Space Marine. Patreon.com slash adeptus ridiculous. Where could they physically get that poster, Bricky?

Wow, Orchidate.com. Check it out in the description. You can get all kinds of things. That dice. Get yourself some hoodies and shirts. All kinds of great stuff. Our awesome arsenal of angels. Desk map, that's a great thing.

Check it out. It's cool stuff. Yay. Yay. Oh my God, that was so funny. You cut out when you said that because of Discord. And you were like, yeah.

Yay! It's like the most critical meme where he's like, who he disappears. Yeah, man, this is going to be a fun one to edit together because Discord is acting very weird with us today. So have fun, shy. Woo.

Woo! Yay! Yippee! All right. So today's episode is a different one. So, me, Brickless,

am leaving for, for Pax West coming up. And because of that, we need to film this episode much, much more early. So by the time this goes live, I will have already gone and come back from Pax West. But so we're doing it really early. And because it was so early, shy is taking the reins on this one. We had the cure out episode last time and because of short timeframes and travel. She had an idea to create a, as she puts it, 24,000 word novella about,

something or the other. Wow, really? She put it together a novella? Okay, cool. I mean, let's scroll up about seven lines. Okay, I have 24K words novella. Oh, I didn't. I guess I didn't.

Oh, no, yeah, yeah, she did. Boy, it's a morning for me, ladies and gentlemen. This is going to be a fun one. This is going to be a fun one. We're chatting on a Wednesday today, which is not normal, but long story short, shy has topics and ideas and important things that you would like to, or that we would like to chat about.

Okay. So let's do it. Let's dive right in. Let's see what she's got. Let's see what she put together. All right. D.K, we're going to switch off reading her thing. Pick a number between one and two.

Two. Okay, you start. Somehow I knew that's how. how it was going to go. Siphoning through my brand, I was like, if I pick one, he's going to make me go first. If I pick two, he's probably also going to make me go first. No, I just chose one or two, so you go first the moment it's posted. Okay, okay, I'm waiting.

I'm, uh, okay. So, Guy says, ring, uh, ring the bell of lost souls boys because the topic of today's episode is loyalist space marine chapters who got absolutely wrecked, wiped out, destroyed, deceased. Chapters are now bereft of life and rest in peace. Chapters who met their maker and closed due to no staff. Wow. All right. Note. Chapters that disappeared for no reason died in a single line with no lore or deserted to chaos. Those don't count. After all, we want death and we want it in the gory details. Oh, and this episode will be full of spoilers as with any death-related topic. So if you want to

read a book where a space marine can maybe die, turn this episode off now. Hell yeah. All right. I guess that's my turn now. We're bouncing point. Yeah, I guess it is your turn, yeah. All right. So let's start by immediately breaking the established rules with honorable obituaries. Number one, two Space Marine legions who died of Ligma and Sugma respectively during the Great Crusade. Lamenters, who wish they were dead, Firehawks, who died in an unfortunate accent when somebody flushed a clogged toilet during the warp transition, but got to return as Legion of the Damned. Maybe, maybe not. That's a weird lore thing. The size of the emperor who almost entirely died because they failed a

perception check to notice that the whole population of their world had purple skin and a lot more arms than they should as someone playing a lot more Baldur's Gate lately that I appreciate. I'm trying to figure out why this old lady is force feeding this lady pie. I will find this information out one day.

The purple skin is like, oh no! So a bunch of space marine chappoos who perished during the Abyssal Crusade in the Eye of Terror without ever turning traitor, good on them for dying. And of course, angels excelsius, burning blood,

Brothers of Girard, Angels glorious, four other chapters, plus 12 chapter masters who got wiped out during the devastation of Ball. Even though Blood Angels saw the bugs coming, unlike the side of the guys, they unfortunately forgot to drink whatever juice gives Ultramarines the ability to defeat a high fleet, except by losing at most a hundred guys and a few limbs on their chapter master. Yeah, it's kind of, the devastation of Ball is called the devastation of Ball, because let me tell you, they got devastated. They got devastated. Holy. Sheesh. It sounds like the Blood Angels suffered some big old losses. Well, I mean, hence the name. As we said, Devastation of Ball. You're probably not coming out of that unscathed. Friend of the channel, Brad from Porhamer podcast, is a big Blood Angels fan, and he has relentlessly also tried to get me to read the Devastation of Ball series, and I am not going to do it until he reads the Nightlord's books. So maybe it won't... What? Poor Hammer guys haven't... read the Night Lord's trilogy.

It's not as popular as you might think it is. Maybe not, but like, ugh. I know, I know, man, I know. Hey, poor Hammer, once you guys read the trilogy, we'll read Devastation of Ball. Better yet, we'll chat together. We'll do a co-lab book club episode on both. Oh, I like it, because they're

really cool. Anyway, but yeah. This is a threat. All right. You are up. Whoa, whoa, that is, hold on. I got a scroll. roll way back up. Okay. The main honorable obituary,

the crimson fists. The crimson fist would never actually die off entirely and they are still putting their fist to work currently in the Nockman Rift Ward that we just talked about. But one hilarious event in their history truly put the

fist on the other hand and nearly led to their full extinction. So I'm allowing this one in. After that, only death, I swear. These guys are a direct splinter chapter of the OG Imperial Fist. The chapter's name derives from the ceremony conducted at the initiation of the new chapter masters where they fist bump each other and call each other bro till their fist spleen. Really?

They just, all right. Anyway, I'm only partly joking, but let's get to the biggest joke, the infamous invasion of Rins World. Rins World is not to be confused with Disney World, but it might as well be. Despite being a recruiting world of the Crimson Fiss and their main base, it's an extremely peaceful place where all citizens are such softies, unused to any kind of violence, that the Crimson Fiss refused to recruit them at all, not tolerating any Disney adults in their midst. Fiss prefer to recruit on a neighboring world called Bad Landing, which is a much grittier place, and therefore produces a lot fewer Californians.

That, however... California! California mentioned! I love smog! Ooh! That, however, didn't help bad landing much when the orc warlord snagrod, the arc arsonists of Charodon, invaded the planet with his wah! And wiped out all the Yumi scum, significantly increasing the overall property value.

The Crimson guys deployed a fifth. A fisting squad of 100 Marines to provide orcs with much-needed colonoscopy. But they underestimated the opponent, and their drop pods landed among approximately 10 billion angry Shrecks. No fisting was done that day, and under 50% of space brains got out alive and figured that it was a good time to go home to Rinsworld. Though populated by space pussies, the planet was actually superbly defended with massive fortress monastery, a top-of-the-line orbital defense system, and a lot of still-living

crimson fistineers. When Warlord Snagrott eyed up the virtually impregnable defenses of the space marine planet, some Grot suggested that attacking it directly was a suicide. Snagrott slapped the teeth off the gets face, declared that when he's in charge, every mission is a suicide mission, and the orcs charged into Rinds world head on. Meanwhile, crimson fists were giving each other crimson fist bumps because their surface to space defense system was one of the best ever built. And would you know it? Invading orc ships got absolutely annihilated. Children of the world were delighted with the spectacle of burning metal shrapnel and orc body parts raining from the sky.

for a while. You see, the missile knows where it is at all times. It knows this because it knows where it isn't. By subtracting where it is from where it isn't, or where it isn't from where it is, whichever is greater, it obtains a difference or deviation. It's a meme. Don't worry about it, D.K., it's a meme.

Oh, okay, sorry. I was like, what the, girl, we talk. Anyway, this time it didn't. One of the missiles malfunctioned and went off course, directly in the Crimson Fist Fortress Monastery, specifically its main arsenal. The resulting detonation was spectacular, killing 800 crimson fists. All chapter serves, vaporizing all their equipment, weapons, and gene seed, completely annihilating the fortress,

disabling the anti-space defenses and bringing much joy mixed with slight confusion to the orcs watching fireworks from orbit. Ay, aye, aye. The orcs landed and burned every single city on the planet to the ground, took everything that wasn't nailed to the walls, and besieged the surviving Crimson Fists in the last unconquered city for 18 miserable months until reinforcements arrived and chased the orcs off. Crimson Fist took a few hundred years to rebuild their ranks,

clear up their ears, and fix up their wardrobes from all. all the swirlies and wedgies they were given. Since then, the main function, they mainly function as orc hunters. Personally, I would hunt down the asshole who built their rocket defense system with some Boeing type engineering, but whatever.

Yikes. So they had a missile malfunction, and it just blew up their defenses, and that led to the orcs just walloping them. In reality, I'm imagining it, like that one quest and fall at New Vegas, where you mess with the ghoul, rocket system that they were trying to go to like the religious great journey or whatever

and then in reality there's a bunch of orcs like slamming on the keyboard is like I think this one it's gonna go towards them and it just blows up I actually makes sense too Crimson Fists I think are really good at hunting at like like packs of people if I'm not mistaken their rules back when they had like a subchapter was like

if the enemy unit you're attacking has like five or more models you get like benefits. Oh, okay. So I think it was something along those lines, which was kind of a neat, kind of a neat vibe. They also have Pedro Can't. I think they're very like Spanish kind of like all, like their chapter master's like Pedro Cantor. They're pretty popular faction. Yeah, they're kind of neat.

Yeah. Well, I mean, they're, they're a part of the blood angels, right? And blood angels very popular. No, no. Wait, I thought they... Oh, no, we were... Never mind. I'm mixing up the difference.

Okay, never mind. Well... Which chapter do you think the Crimson Fists are part of? Maybe the Imperial Fists. There you go. Okay, good, thank goodness. Yeah, it suddenly dawned to my, I was like, yeah,

why would they be blood angels when their name is Crimson Fist when there is literally an Imperial Fist that exists? Loll. Uh, anywho, uh, yeah, no, Crimson Fiss, they got, they got like a decent, maybe they're not the most popular or anything, but they have some decent stuff. They're, they only have like one name character and that model is kind of old, but, um, yeah, it's not bad. It's not bad. Yeah, sure, sure. They got bodied. That sucks. It does suck, but they're, they're chilling. They're coming back. Um, okay, so, actually extinct space marine chapters. There's the Marines

vigilant. Uh, as we effortlessly, Dean came from the previous topic into the next one, because Marines Vigilant were wiped out by our new friends crimson fists. Marines Vigilant were 100% loyal until one day when they faced a truly horrific Zenos enemy, which I do not know, but I suspect Harud. The war against these Zenos was so horrific, the Marines Vigilant completely gave up fighting and went into hiding. After they ghosted all their superiors up to the high lords multiple times, the Ordo of Malius finally decided that's better to be safe than sorry.

The Marines vigilant were declared Zenos tainted, and the Crimson Fiss arrived to their world to provide, in my opinion, aka in Shai's opinion. Shise opinion, yeah. Clearly innocent and traumatized soldiers with some American health care. Vigilant chapter refused to fight back in any way and died in droves to cyclonic torpedoes as Crimson Fiss reenacted the whole Are We the Baddies bit on their ships in orbit. The entire Space Marine chapter was destroy him. And the Crimson Fist considered the whole ordeal to be the most embarrassing part of their history and tried to forget it ever happened.

Oh, boy. That has very, like, months of shame vibe a little bit. It really does. So, to sum that up, Marines vigilant thought maybe the Hrud, couldn't do anything about them, gave up, went into hiding,

Crimson Fist were like, lull traitors killed them all, and they were like, oh, that kind of, well, we did kind of a bad thing. Yeah, I mean, you would think that after the amount of times they just never fought, they'd be like, you know what? Maybe there is something here. Or, you know, or you know what? They'd probably be like, typical Xenos deception.

They're going to not fight us and they're going to lure us into a sense of self-confidence. That might be what the Imperium would think, honestly, because, you know, they're not really big on being merciful to turncoats or mutineers or deserters. So, yeah. Also, they just, everything is so, you know, untrusting. Yeah, you can never trust anything in 40K because, you know, Zinch exists. Zinch exists. I mean, chaos in general exists. True.

There's so, there's so much of that. Also, isn't that in like the, isn't that in the opening crawl of every, every Warhammer game out there? It's like, it's the main tag. line before the in the grim darkness there's only war it's the like this is there's no longer a place of tolerance like this is no like this is the cruelest

regime etc etc anywho you're up all right Marines Mordant the Marines Mordant fought against a numerous enemies of the Imperium including the Ork Empire of Octarius but at some point they effed up

in some serious way and got sent a hundred year penance crusade through the tempest Hippocrine, which in turn led him directly into High Fleet Leviathan. Oh no, not a stranger to putting on white makeup and red noses. Marines Morden attacked the High Fleet by

themselves. Their battle barge, assiduous, suffered serious damage, and Marines quickly lost two companies of Battlebrothers before deciding that Bugs got hands and it's time to go home. Unfortunately, when they returned home, they got another pie in the face in the form of all their defense forces turning traitor to Alpha Legion and unleashing a planet-wide chemical attack that induced mass panic and bloated out the planet's sun. In the chaos, Chapter Master Taro Paladax presumably forgot to take his brain medicine and agreed to open the gates of Fortress Monastery to help the panicking refugees.

Shockingly, this was another ruse by the Alpha Legion forces who immediately stormed the Citadel through the wide open doors. Realizing that they were just too dumb to live, loyalists inside lowered the void shield of the fortress, allowing the orbiting battle bards to unleash an orbital bombardment that annihilated both sides, killing off the Marines mordant for good. Slide whistle.

I can't do a sliders or sound. Yep, that is yikes. Did they do anything right? Is that me when I say hi to my dad? Have you ever done anything right? Waste of gene seed. Blah. Waste of perfectly good genes seed.

But yeah, it just sounds like they got bodied at every corner. Like, oof. That's actually like, it's so funny, though. So, like, you know, mutually assured destruction is such a common thing when it comes to these things. It's just wild to see, well, yeah, sci-fi, but also like, like, 40K stuff. It's just absolutely wild to see how much it happens to, like, space marines, which are supposed to be the finest. And then they do very unfeigned things. I don't know.

It gets me. What we got here. Three, the chorus of El Tain. There isn't much to these. guys specific. What a cool name? There is a much of these guys specifically because few things are known about them until they invaded the eye of terror

during the Abyssal Crusade in M-37 and died to death. But the story of their support world is kind of funny. You see, workers on the Tri-Forge Cluster Forge Worlds, that's a mouthful. Yeah, I'll say that 10 times fast. We're awarded the honor of producing

a single predator for the chapter every year, which they did with great pride. A single predator is, it's like a type of streamer that they use for Minecraft. I was about, as soon as you said, I was like, I know where this joke is going. He's going to, we're going into, yep, okay, okay, okay. A predator is a, it's a main battle tank. It's like a firstborn era main battle tank.

I am also glad that you know me so well that you knew that as soon as you read that, my brain was like, what's a predator? What's a predator? What's a predator? And I was waiting for a moment to be like, Bricky, what's a predator. Thank God. All right, we can trust D.K. He doesn't even know what a predator is. Hooray. Yeah, so that's what it is. It's basically a rhino with a big gun on it. Ooh, okay, cool. Yeah, so it's pretty classic. With all like the new primary stuff, they've adjusted and they have like the gladiator and they have the repulsor and they have all these other big tanks. but the predator is like kind of like the main 2005 era tank, you know. It looks great. It's fun.

It's very, it's very 40K. Yeah. Anyway, they produce a single predator for the chapter every year. But when the chorus marines got liquefied on some faraway world in the hell dimension, and minestronum kind of forgot to tell it to the workers. So they continued to produce predators every year, which then sat collecting dust for several millennia. Until, of course, our favorite stinky lads from the 14th Legion invaded the world in M-42

and got absolutely shocked by the sight of a giant parking lot filled to the horizon with thousands of unused predator tanks, which they promptly started corrupting into the service of Nurgel. Finders keepers, I guess. Also, I'm shocked that the workers on that planet were just like, well, I guess we've got a parking lot full of these things. and no one's come to collect, eh, keep building them. Like,

nobody ever thought, like, maybe we should contact someone. Maybe we should, like, send an astrophatic message back to tear and be like, guys,

you haven't picked up your shipment in, like, ever. Like, it's been, like, a hundred years. You guys want these things? Or should we stop?

Or, like, you'd think somebody would do something. You know, I think it's the fact that, like, it takes, sometimes you do,

like, a warp travel and you go do, like, a war. And that war, takes like three generations to end. And so like, it's just taking a long

ass time, you know? Like, don't worry about it. True. I guess. Yeah. And with the administratum, this is one of those things that could very easily, even if they did send a message, this should very easily get lost in the cracks with all of the administratum nonsense

and all the billions of planets that they have to administrate. Well, it might literally take them a hundred years. before they got the message. Mm-hmm. All right. So, Shai has two separate spoiler-tag things here.

You do the first, I'll do the second. Okay. They're both the same faction, but all right. The Crimson Consuls. Have you heard the tale of cringed consoles of the dead? It's not a tale loyalist space marine fans will tell you. Things started well for our ultramarine successor chapter when the entirety of the first company was oblobal.

assulting the orc infested space Hulk, taking every one of the chapters, Terminator suits with them. Oh, that's... When the first company heard a countdown sounding on board the Hulk, they teleported into its Enginarium, hoping to sabotage its warp drives before it jumped back into the warp. However, they found it already sabotaged by someone else. Before they could escape, the Hulk exploded, detonating its warp drive,

and opening an imitarium anomaly in real space that turned everyone on board into chunky salsa. Two further companies were lost on the planet of Phaton IV, after the celebrants chapter was ordered to withdraw from the planet and the crimson consuls were left alone to defend the world. The order was actually never given, the order was never actually given by a government official and came from an unidentified source. the orcs overran consoles. They fought bravely, almost halting the fledgling in its tracks.

However, Brave Marines managed to snatch the defeat from the jaws of victory by accidentally waking up necrons entombed on the planet and getting melted by gouse guns. Bad luck. The third and fifth companies of the consoles who were engaged in the Damocles Crusade, tasked with hunting down Commander Farsight were actually killed years ago,

but someone kept making up fake astopathic reports pretending to be them alive and well. Right after that, Ruse was discovered, the 8th company who were two systems away from the chapter's home world, hunting Black Legion Marines, ceased sending contact altogether. As the Crimson Consul slowly lost contact

with large parts of the forces, chapter master Elias Artagall realized they were under some sort of insidious attack. Better late than never, I suppose. Yeesh. Yeesh. You want to finish someone off or you want me to keep reading it? Yeah. No, no, actually, you're on a roll. Roll with it. Okay, okay. He ordered the fortress monastery secured and fortified.

However, within mere moments, the compound became compromised, from within as crimson consul turned their bolters on each other. Ardegel and his officers charged through the chaotic fighting to secure position of his command center, only to find it already occupied by Black Legion Marines. Artigal was taken captive and his surviving officers were immediately executed. A chaos marine from the Alpha Legion revealed himself and explained how it was me, Austin, it was me all along. Many years ago, Alpha Legion had stopped.

corruption in motion. Consul recruits were brainwashed even before induction with psychosensitive words written on the walls of Carcarius' underhives, and a mere phrase was all that was needed to turn them against their non-brainwash brothers. The Crimson Consuls had fallen, and their stocks of giencing will be pledged and delivered to Abadon as a gift to replenish the numbers of his Black Legion. Let's go. Sorry, I just want to make it clear. Let's go. That's it. Thank you. Oh yeah, for sure. That is... I feel like we might have talked about something like this before

because the whole, like, Alpha Legion brainwashing recruits and setting this thing into motion... It sounds oddly familiar. I don't know if that's just something the Alpha Legion do a lot, but this is like... This sounds familiar. Anyway, his entire chapter had fallen around him. Article managed to fight back one last time.

He broke free and locked himself in his personal armory. But despite its apparent safety, he discovered the chapter master's mastercrafted bolt gun already gone. Baldwin, his best friend and personal chamber castellan, had taken it and was aiming it directly at him. Oops. And then it rained snakes. Yeah, that's just, yeah, that's unfortunate. That's, oh boy. That's just, you got absolutely effed over by the Alpha Legion.

That's just what the Alpha Legion does. It's so fun. I like the Alpha. I mean, I don't know. There's so much just pure, hey, armor man run in front of other Armor Man. And I want more of that. I want more of like deception and lies. Yeah.

The Alpha Legion show you that like you can win with, you can, you brains beats Braun sometimes, right? You can win without. firing a damn shot. Not a single shot. You can make the enemy do all the hard work for you. Yep. Yeah. Why? What's, what's, is it Sun Tzu? Or who is it? It's like, um, never interrupt your enemy when they're making a mistake. That sounds like a Sun Tzu thing for sure. The art of war. That definitely sounds like something from there. All right. So we got the emperor's swords now. They suffered pretty much the exact same fate, which is not very imaginative of the Alpha Legion side, but hey, if it ain't broke. For over a dozen genera,

The Alpha Legion manipulated the slums, gangs, and sex of Gortzengrad, the Emperor's Swords homeworld. The Alpha Legion placed unconscious, or sorry, not unconscious, subconscious triggers in the rituals used by the gangs and sex. It was from these gangs and sex that the Emperor's swords recruited new space marines. And so when the Alpha Legion attacked Gorsdengad, they were able to use these triggers to disorient and confuse a good number of the Emperor's swords. Some even turned against their battle brothers in the ensuing chaos.

The Emperor's swords were overrun. Part two. Emperor's swords, part two. They all died as well. Imperium refused this lying down and created another chapter called the Emperor's swords. No machinations of Alpha Legion this time. Just pure lobotomite type real estate decisions. Swords built their fortress monastery on a Necron Tomb World.

You can guess what happened. next. Wow. Emperor sores are just cursed. First, the Alpha Legion gets them and kind of tricks them and kills most of them, all of them. And then it's like, okay, this time we got it. Lobotomites, no problem. They're not going to get crows. Ah, Necrons. That's, I like the, at first I was a little bit unsure. Like, well, that really work with this whole Alpha Legion thing? Because when you think about it, you know, like, um, when you become a space marine, you often get all your, or your crap, like messed with and then, you know, like, those signals probably shouldn't stay there, but then I realize that this is like chaos bullshit, so honestly, who cares?

Yeah. Yeah. God, that's some terrible luck. God, you don't want to, oh, man. Uh, the Astral Knights. Ah, for once, so we can talk about someone who didn't shit the bed. Small time Necron Lord was chilling and having a good time. Uh, when time for Necron.

frontier politics arrived and his vizier who wanted to conquer the universe instead of sitting at home watching friends reruns all day. That sounds familiar. All they overthrew his ass in a coup, enabled his long dormant world engine, which is basically Necron Death Star, except it's better, better, because it's not owned by Mickey fucking Mouse. For some reason, though, despite having the strongest ship to ever exist, the Necron's onboard does. decided to start their mighty campaign of conquest by burning several blackwater agriculture worlds instead of doing something productive. This hatred of corn, C-O-R-N, by the way, gave Imperium the chance to gather 15 space marine chapters and a giant Navy fleet and throw all of that at the World Engine. Unfortunately, World Engine was beyond killing and wiped the floor with the imperial forces.

Its shield was repelling all gunfire. Drop pods were bouncing off it and it was scrambling teleportation systems, causing squads of Terminators to teleport into open space. Wow. All seemed lost when Artur Amrad, yikes, what a name. the chapter master of the astral knights decided to try a more subtle approach and smashed his battle barge right into the world engine shields at full speed. Apparently the shield was not tuned for defense against the unga bunga so the barge went right on through in pieces and crashed into the engine.

700 astral knights landed on the world and in about two days, five, as in five dudes, were still alive. Oh, God. Including the Chapter Master, they made their way into the core of the World Engine where they set up the bomb and blew themselves up

along with the shield generator, allowing the rest of the fleet to shoot the shit out of the World Engine, blowing it up. All memes aside, good job Astro Nights, you kick some robot ass that day, unlike these next guys.

Yeah, that was one of the... I remember that thing where it's like, hey, here's a contingent of 15 space marines. that basically invaded a Death Star and blew the damn thing up. Which, it sounds pretty silly and far-fetched because, you know,

Necron's not stuff, but at the same time, eh, it's cool enough. I'm happy with that. Yeah, that feels like a, like if you had a Venn diagram of 40K and Death Star, this feels like it's right in the middle of the Venn diagram where the two, like, crossover. It kind of feels like that story

where, like, invading a Death Star and, oh, heroic sacrifice. 40K space Marines and all. All you need is a trench run and you're good. It's just, well, yeah, one trench run turning off your targeting computer, the whole nine. And here we are wasting our resources by putting people in the stuff. All right, next one. Next one.

What we got here? The Dark Paladins. Oh. The Dark Paladins fleet traveled to the Imperium Industrial World Jarman Primus to investigate the sudden loss of all communications. It was not long after the chapter's first Thunderhawks set down on Jarman Primus that they came under attack from mechanical Zenos. After hearing how the Zenos were not able to be killed, the Dark Palin's chapter master made the brilliant decision to send all his troops to fight an immortal threat, probably hoping that Necrons have a preset kill limit and sending wave after waves of his men at the killer robots will shut them down eventually. This guy was very unfortunately mistaken with a guardsman.

Yeah. He didn't realize. Sometime after Imperial Command got a call from the Dark Paladins and from what the Imperium has been able to gather from whoever was on the phone sitting and pissing himself, the Dark Paladins fought a valiant battle against the Zenos before the Space Marines were finally overwhelmed and completely destroyed along with their fleet. Most worryingly, the final garbled report from the Dark Paladins chaptermaster stated that even as the battle raged around them, the chapter's tech Marines simply stood rigid and stared in awe. at the mechanical Zenos, even as their battle brothers died in horrible ways. Damn, Paladin's got no game. Don't just stand there and stare awkwardly at them.

Go strike up a conversation. No, won't kill you, but a gossip literator sure will. It sure. What's- hell? That's weird. Were they, like, just, like, actually staring in, like, real awe? That seems weird. I would imagine it be, like, some kind of electrical shit in their brains got fucked.

especially for like a tech marine like you'd think the tech Marines wouldn't just kind of stand there and be like oh my god and just be like stunned to not do anything as their brothers were getting like obliterated all around them right like that's that's kind of crazy that's kind of why actually

it's kind of funny when you read these things and it's just like yeah this this entire what is this this entire space marine chapter just was like, fight the necrons, and they just died. Like, oh, yeah, it's just like, oh, yeah, just keep sending more. We'll get them eventually, maybe, probably.

And it's like, no, sir, we're not getting them at all. All of our men are dying. Well, send more. Keep sending them. It's fine. Like, man, at some point, you got to, you got to stop, right? And realize, okay, this ain't working. Let's jet instead of just, it was probably a tomb world.

Oh, if it was a tomb world, that's so much worse, too. Like, good luck trying to outdo it. a tomb world. Anyway, Emerald Snakes, a fleet-based chapter called Emerald Snakes, was hanging out on their ships far away from any trouble, kicking back with some cold bruskees, then Cadia blew up, and Astronomicon went off. Realizing that they were stuck on the dark side of the Imperium, Emerald Snakes barely had time to say, well, fuck, before their fleet crashed into the expanding cicatrix maledictum and all of them got torn apart by demons. I got nothing for this one except this image of a cute emerald snake.

Look at that funny little guy. He is a funny little guy. So they were just wrong place, wrong time when Katie blew up. And you just lost the chapter because rip, wrong place, wrong time. You're in the middle of the Sigatrix maledictum. The warp is going to eat you alive now. Yikes! I don't know why, but just like the snake that,

his eye being like, he's seen some things. He's gone through some shit, yeah. It's the last thing they saw in the cicatrine. That's what they look like when they were, you know, enveloped in the giant warp storm. Just, uh, yep. Okay, what we got next? Number 10. The obsidian glaves.

The obsidian glaves are a very interesting case. Their chapter master is also the planetary governor. but the governor title and crown that he wears under his helmet are entirely hollow because he has no subjects. Glaves live on a horribly irradiated death world where all human population is long deceased. The glaves see being space marines as an endless atonement for their sins, so they recruit only youths sentenced to death and offer them service as an extended penalty. Their entire culture is based around punishment, where other chapters consider their service to the emperor of their duty, the glaves see it as a form of redemption for their crimes

and failures. They will take blame, often self-appointed for perceived failures, and seek to offer penance for their shortcomings. Cases of self-flagellation have been recorded. The initiates of the obsidian glaves as a part of becoming the space marine go through the so-called sleep indoctrination, which tends to force out previous memories to be replaced with battle lore and tracks of the Codex of Starties. It is ironic that even though everyone of the obsidian glaves didn't remember who he was before the rebuilding, everyone still believes that they were guilty without any doubt.

But then some orcs came around and killed all of them the end. No, seriously, they have several short stories and a decent amount of lore dedicated to them. And then seventh edition mentions offhand in one sentence that the Red Waugh by the Ork War Boss Gruck did a drive-by shooting and all the obsidian glaves are now dead. Ouch, baby. Wow.

I was going to say, this all sounds like kind of cool, like this sort of self-pitying, masochistic chapter. I was like, oh, this sounds kind of cool and all this. How is this going to lead up to them being wiped out? Because that's what this episode is about. And I guess that's one way to do it. I guess. That just seems like such a waste

Because it sounds like kind of a dope chapter Like did they just They didn't know what to do with them And they're just like, ah, screw it Just get rid of it This is a failed idea We were stupid for doing it Have the orks kill them or something

That just seems like such a waste I think They do this all the time man They're like They so commonly just like Throw a random bit In some kind of I don't know

Regular section of like a codex Something is like Oh by the way Here's this really interesting lore. Ooh, we'll never go or never, ever going to expand on it. Bye. Yeah. And it's just, God, they, Obsidian Glave sound kind of dope, actually, that they, they see their, uh, becoming a space ring as like extended punishment.

And, oh, yeah, this is just extending your guilty sentence. And I, I kind of love that. And, oh, man, that's, ugh. I kind of blows. Yeah, that, that actually blows. The Scar Lords. the Scar Lords took part in the first big war against the Tao Damocles Crusade and fought in the invasion of the Sept world

Daleth. Damocles Crusade famously ended with a truce between Tao and Imperium led by fan favorite Mr. Cryptman. Yes, definitely. Fan favorite Mr. Crittman because a massive Tyrannid hive fleet was approaching both Imperial and Tao worlds so they decided to settle for a tie. After the Damocles Crusades' conclusion, the Scarlords led an imperial fleet that ambushed a Tao force that attempted to reclaim worlds in the Damocles Gulf. Both Tao and Scarlords suffered heavy losses, but the Zenos were ultimately able to break through

thanks to the leadership of Commander Farsight. Unable to take the L, the chapter collectively put on a smiling face mask to cover up their tears and pursued the Tao until they reached heavily fortified worlds owned by Farsight. The battle proved catastrophic for the Scarlord's suffering over 90% losses, including their entire leadership. Inquisitor Vichola Heret subsequently wrote that the chapter had been scattered to nothingness and the Tao recorded the chapter as extinct. Well, rip in pieces. Kind of ripping pieces, not going to lie.

It's just like, hey, Tao Ext, like, it's, you know, hey, you know, honestly, Tao doing it, not something we see too often. Yeah, yeah. That is definitely a case if you got to know when to hold them, no when to fold them. I mean, that's the issue I always notice with Space Marines.

They constantly don't know when to fold them. Yep. Because like... No when to walk away. No when to run. Knowing when to walk away is so, like, important. And they just, They keep doing it.

I feel like space marines have that issue because they're space marines. Like they have been made to believe and function and through their whole system. It's like you are like the unbending weapon of the empire. You're the best. You don't retreat. You can win. You can do it. Never surrender type of attitude.

Right? So I feel like for them it's kind of just like ingrained in their. very being that all walk away, never, never, never, blah, blah, blah, you know. Yeah, and I guess that's like, also it's the Imperium, not the Empire, you're getting too fantasy-pilled. No. At least it's only happened once this episode. That's true, that's true.

All right. Number 12, the last and an interesting case, the Fist's exemplar are surprise imperial Fist's successors. Look at me, Ma. channeling D.K.'s anane sarcasm. Oh, ha ha. They participated in the War of the Beast, which we need to cover at some point. The most massive orc invasion in humanity's history where orcs went as far as laying siege to Terra.

The beast started off the invasion of the human planets in the Ultima Segmentum and Idleica, idyllica, whatever, was one of the earliest to feel the warlord's wrath. In this war, orcs deployed teleporting Death Star attack moons capable of wiping out entire imperial fleets and one of the beast's attack moons just happened to appear over a fist exemplar's home world of idolica. Jesus. Orcs launched an invasion, kicking so much ass that hume breath smelled like shoe polish. Within the first hours of the invasion, the current chapter master Alameda was killed,

and command fell to first captain until he two died at the orcs' hands. As their homeworld fell further into the orcs control, second captain, Maximus Thaim, took command of what remained of the chapter and prepared to defend Idolica to the last ma'am. But the Black Templar's Marshal Bohemond, whose fleet had arrived in Idolica's orbit, met with him and told the new chapter master that the whole plan was already gone, and there was no point in defending it anymore. He managed to talk the remaining fifth exemplars into evacuation so that could help protecting other worlds of the Imperium. As chaptermaster Thane of the fifth exemplar was participating in the defense of Terra from the attack moons, First Captain Zabarian was fighting his own desperate battle elsewhere and eventually had to enter into a truce with an iron warrior war band who was also neck deep in shit trying to fend off the orc attacks.

Reminder, this is an imperial fist successor chapter. Yeah. Making a truce with an iron warrior war band. They must have been very desperate. it. Yeesh. Let's see here. So some people

voiced their concern and Zabarian basically had to choose between dying to or keeping traitor allies. So he chose the latter and put holes in all the loyalists

who opposed him. That's wild to me, holy ship. Wow. As the fighting got worse, Black Templars with high martial Beaumont arrived

and started asking some serious questions like, quote, why the fuck are the iron warriors here just chilling? It's a good question.

But then the orcs swarmed everyone again, and the fist exemplar, iron warriors, and black Templars were forced to work together to defeat the orcs, which they eventually managed to do. That's crazy to me. I would much rather imagine the black Templars just choosing, like, mutual destruction. I imagine they would just, like, I don't even, I don't care. I'm killing every traitor I can. That is a wild, holy trinity of allies.

At this point, though, of the 1,000 fist exemplars, there were only about 70 Marines left. When the fighting died down, Zabarian pleaded with High Marshall to spare the iron warriors because they all would be dead without their assistance.

But High Marshall told Zabarian to suck his entire balls. So the first captain killed the black Templar, kneel before the monster mash, and pledged his life to Gradyyard Smash, and went to chaos. After that, Chapter Master Thain

basically disbanded the fist exemplar because 99% of them are dead and the rest turned traitors. Happy ending. Oh. That's a wild story. That's funny to me though because like, yeah. That's crazy. I was like, there's no way in hell a black Templar guy would ever do that kind of stuff.

And he's like, hey, spare the traitors. And then he's like, eat shit. and he killed him and killed the rest. I am shocked that the guy was even like, oh, hey, Black Templar, how about we spared the, like, in what world, even if they did just help say, in what world would a Black Templar be like, sure, yeah, it's fine, Iron War, no big deal.

There's no world where the Black Templar, as soon as this is over, doesn't immediately just turn on them, right? No, no, instantaneously. Yeah. There's a reason why we haven't covered the war. the beast much is because, as Shai said, it's a lot of books and the books are not considered to be good quality.

Oh, yeah, that would do it. Yeah, the books are very much considered to be kind of weird and not written very well, and the war is weird and not written really very well, and so I like to keep

for the most part, the best stories, because those are nice to talk about, you know, so all usual stuff. Anyway, would you like to read the final little bit. Sure. And these are all the stories that Chai's got for you today. We will probably cover some of these events in more detail later, like Crimson Fish, surely deserve an episode of their own, and so does the devastation of Ball. But when that will happen, I don't know.

Thanks for watching or listening. Thank Christ I'm done writing for all these losers could be rewatching Colombo. Really? I wouldn't have to, anyway. Colombo and VHS for the 12th time right now, but here we are, Bricky has to O-D on fentanyl in every furry convention bathroom that pops up in his godforsaken state. So we need shy to write these scripts. That's fine. No, buy more ice and move the body's ASAP. Quick climbing gloves. Okay, okay, cool, cool. Yeah, delete us from the final edit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. To be fair, though, Pax West is not actually in Bricky's state. Right? Correct. That's not a California thing.

Nope. Granted, there are only three Western states, and we make up about like half of the geography of it all. But it is Washington. It is in Seattle. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yep. So there you go. It is. It'll be good. Hopefully you have a good time doing it. I've never been to a Pax. I've never been to one of those like gaming convention things. So I'm not entirely sure what should do at one. But hey, have a good time. Hey, you know, if I'm having a meet and greet at Pax, and if... Ooh, nice! If I get some photos of it, maybe I'll send them and we can put them in the episode because the episode will air after I'm back. And then anyone who I met at the meet and greet that knew us from AdRick, that'd be...

That'd be dope. Happy to... Yeah, cool, cool, cool, cool. Because I do get a few adRick folks here and there who, actually, that's not true. I get a lot of AdRick folks. come to the me and greet. So it should be a solid time. And you know, after that, we do have TwitchCon

up and coming as well. So A thumbs up. Are you doing anything at Twitchcon? Eh, the usual. Okay. Going around, talk to people, meet friends, meet fans. The usual type of thing. O.D. O'D in a bathroom on... You know, I take upset. I take, like, offense to what you're saying right now. You consistently

refer to me ODing on fentanyl when you don't realize that's a Philadelphia thing. All right, I'm getting ketamine. Okay? Yeah, get his OD drug of choice, correct. Please. It's so rude of you. It's actually extremely upsetting to me

that you wouldn't realize that I only stick with the farmer-grade horse tranquilizer and none of this like East Coast crap. See you next time, everybody. No. No.