Adeptus Ridiculous - GENESTEALER CULTS: A PLAN GENERATIONS IN THE MAKING | Warhammer 40k Lore

Episode Date: September 15, 2021

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Welcome everyone to another episode of the Adeptus Ridiculous Podcast. My name is D.K. Diamantis. My co-host, Bricky, will be teaching us all about the most ridiculous, insane, jar-filled things about 40K. But before he does, if you enjoy today's podcast, head on over to patreon.com slash adeptus ridiculous. You can get access to our Discord, bloopers if they happen, behind-the-scenes polls.

Really cool stuff like H.J. posters that are just fancy. And yeah, support the podcast, Patreon.com slash adeptus ridiculous. Bricky, tell these fine folks about some premium quality adeptis ridiculous merch.

Oh, oh, Adeptus Ridiculous merch at Orchidate.com. Check description. Got some shirts, got some hoodies, now in white and black. Got some long sleeve, red maroon mechanical men's shirts.

Got some stickers. Pretty cool. Check it out. Book Club Voidstalker. Final one of the trilogy. Read it now. You know, gas station sushi.

So. Gas station sushi? What? Have you never seen that video of the guy yelling at someone? He's like, we're getting sushi, of course. Uh-oh, there was a roofie in our gas station sushi.

Who could have seen that? Coming. Who could have seen it? All right. All right. All right. D.K., all right. All right. All right, shy. Put the image on. All right. You see this image? D.K., you see it? No, I don't. They do. You see it. It's fulgroom in a jar. Oh, oh, yeah. Fullgram in a jar. Yeah.

Do you know why fulgram's in this jar, DK? I don't. I don't know why fulgram is in that jar. Mm-hmm. Yep. So you do not understand the jar memes. I have, as of right now, I have never seen the quote unquote come jar meme. This is a totally new meme to you. You've never heard of it or seen it until today.

I have not. I feel like I would have remembered something called the come jar meme. Like, I feel like I'm actually like in a better spiritual place for not knowing what the cum jar meme is. I feel like if I knew what it was, my quality of life would ever so slightly dip down. That's a very interesting point, D.K. I'm not going to tell you about it. But I just want to make sure everyone else knows. I'm not Googling it.

I'll tell you that. I'm not putting cum jar into Google. No. I'm very glad. Good. All right. I just want our fan base to know that you don't know. And I'm just going to leave that there.

DK. Bricky. Would you like to know what today's topic is? Yeah, do you want me to guess first, or you just want to tell me? I'll give you three guesses. Okay. I know for sure it's not the Percharabu and the Iron Warriors. I know that.

You are correct. I know it has something to do with metal, I think. Sort of, no? Not really. Oh, well, fuck. Maybe Empress Children, since we're talking about, damn it. Um, how about a Thousand Sun's episode, huh? Nope.

No. Is it, can you give me? Is it chaos related? You lose. Good day, sir. You said Iron War. Oh, you know, you said it was. I said it was not the Iron Wars.

All right, all right, fine. You get one more. Just throw something out there. Come on. Salamanders and Vulcan. Damn it! We're not doing Marines today. Nice!

Fuck the Marines. You only chose Marines. The 40K Marines. Actual like United States Marines. You guys are great. Thanks for everything. They eat a lot of crans, though. I didn't know that, but all right.

I didn't realize that was a meme for the Marines, but okay. Oh, yeah, there's a meme that they eat crans. It was an old joke where it was Marines stands for like muscle. all required intelligence, not like, uh, I don't know what the E is, but yeah. I've got a lot of family in the military, so I can, I can make, I make these jokes quite a lot. The amount of chair force memes I hear. Oh, yes, as a classic titan player. It's a classic titan. What's your favorite color to eat? Fuchsia. Um, so, uh, we're doing the jean-stealer cults. Oh, okay. We, we bring.

Briefly touched on the Gene Steeler cult in the... Did we do a Tarynx episode? Yeah, we did a Tarynx episode. Yeah, we did a Tarynx episode. With the Scroat guns in it. We briefly touched on them, but yeah. Yeah, the Gene Steeler Colts. They are a relatively new faction to play as, actually.

They have their own minis. They're kind of like... They have this kind of mad Max vibe, which is pretty cool. And it's like they got some mad Max and a little bit of like, you know, religion of the creepy

squiggly gods. It's great. Gein-Steeler Colts have kind of gotten, have GW taken a big dump on their chest a lot lately. Oh. So they're not particularly good and they kind of jump up

and down from being a good army here and there, but they normally on the lower end, kind of like tyrannids. Sorry, Tyrannids. But they're neat. They're super cool. I was gonna ask, do you just play Gene Steeler Cult or like if you're, or can you only roll them if you're a Tyrannins player? Because technically they should be of the Tyrannid faction,

right? Like you wouldn't just roll an entire Gene Steeler Cult army, would you? You wouldn't. Gene Steeleer cults are their own entirely separate army, but you can mix them together with Tyrannids normally. Oh, okay. Now, in the lore, the actual over-aractors, Tiranids barely like look at them more like ants that are helping that are helping remove a dead animal from your house and that's about it They they truly don't think much very highly of them but genes to their Colts if you're talking about gameplay is a whole codex for themselves and it's all on their own and you can run them all on your own or you can ally them with the larger Tyrannids to do a combined force was actually pretty cool because he gave one of the

Zenos armies that normally don't have allies, some allies, which was kind of nice. Yeah, that's cool. So, the Gene Steeler Colts, you can also, I think you can, I don't think you can technically soup. Soup means like combined forces with the Imperial

Guard, but they do have like Imperial Guard stuff. I think maybe you can run Guard and you run them as something called Brood Brothers, because there are like regiments of Gene Steeler Colt guard. Yeah, well, because

technically a gene stealer could take over like any sentient thing, right? Um, I'm not, I'm not sure the extent of the gene stealers reproductive abilities in that sense. But I know that I think, I'm

pretty damn sure that gene stealers are almost entirely based on old humans. Uh, I think that they mainly infect humans because humans breed like flies in the, in the Warhammer 40K. There's a lot of them. I don't know if there was ever any like elf

gene stealers, like Eldar. I don't really know. I don't think it works with, um... No, they try to do it against orcs. But if I wasn't, if I was mistaken... I think we talked about this. It was like... Oh, yeah, don't they like turn gray or something

and then all the orcs hate them and kill them or something? I think they're not a... They're not aggressive enough. Right. I do vaguely remember you're talking about that, yeah. Yeah, it's too subdued. So the other orcs are like, that's weird and beat the shit out of them. So it never lasts for very long.

Naturally. I can see that with works, yeah. So let's talk about how it happens. Okay, let's talk about it. So Gene Steelers are a Tyrannid unit. They're like a legitimate unit in the Tyrannid army. It's called a Gene Steeler. and a gene stealer looks like a little bit of a hybrid between the xenomorph you know of

and then they got some like big ass head multiple arms they got like normally have like a long tongue they look like your classic tyrannid but like kind of a little more of a human hybrid tiered in they kind of look that way yeah wow I did not realize that that's what a gene stealer looked like the bottom picture I think is better oh yeah in my head, like, because I knew, like, gene stealers would, like, sort of, like, brainwash humans and stuff.

I kind of just assumed that they were, like, the jean steeler itself was kind of like a face hugger. And it would just... Oh. It would just... No, it's like a creature. Yeah, it is a... It is a creepy creature, too.

It is... Oof. Yeah, genealers are... They're really... They're really interesting little guys. Because the Tyrnids themselves will send them out in a pretty large amount. They'll just throw them out there in the galaxy, these little gene stealers.

And I think, like, maybe in small quantities, but just in all the far reaches of the galaxy. And these gene stealers will actually find themselves in maybe a cargo hold in a starship they'll land on or a space Hulk or they'll land on a planet and they'll kind of hide for a long period of time because the gene stealer is actually super stealthy. They're very sneaky. They stow away for a long, long time. They can be incredibly slick. I guess they kind of have to be to steal jeans. They got to steal them jeans. But they're like, I think all the tyrants are technically a little minorly psychic to an extent. But the gene stealer is also, and it can kind of hypnotize a human with this weird effect they have with their eyes.

So you can imagine, like, take a horror movie, right? Honestly, a Gene Steeler stowing away on a cargo hold, even though it's just a rip off of aliens, would be a very good, a very, very good film. Oh, yeah. So a Gene Steeler is, like, in the back of a cargo hold, like, hiding behind a bunch of boxes and crates or something. And then, like, the humans are having a meeting.

One human stays behind to do something, yada, yada, you know. You can picture it. The camera is, like, from the eyes of the jean steeler hiding behind the box. Yep. sees him doing all his menial tasks. And then he like maybe the jean-steader bumps something and the guy looks over that direction and he sees like just two bright yellow eyes

coming from like a dark space in the back of the hold. And this will kind of like hypnotize him and kind of pacify him. And he'll walk towards the gene stealer. And once they're lured in, the gene stealer has that tongue. They got serious tongue game. And it's like a,

whip coil and the tongue will indeed penetrate a human um it could I don't know how it penetrates my assumption is through the mouth but you know it's it gets it gets in there somehow um it's

these are tyrannins these are nasty bugs um yeah super nasty but yeah normally it goes into the body of the host and it ends up depositing its DNA and a bunch of of like reproductive cycle organisms inside of the host itself.

Oh, no. So he literally uses his tongue to come inside them? Well, it's genetic material. I don't know if it's particularly the white stuff, but... Essentially, he's leaving his seed in that person via his tongue and a hypnotized... Oh. It's more of on the lines of it's like a virus. And it affects like the...

It affects the cells of the host instead of like, there is an organism inside of you. It's more like I am adjusting your DNA. Oh, that sucks. I think, ish. But yes, it's very, it's very gross. But it's very, it's very alien. But yeah, I don't think you can find the anomaly.

Like if someone was to get hit by a gene stealer and then their buddies were to, like, open the guy up, they wouldn't find, like, an alien egg in him. Like, he's just changed. Yeah. Well, he's, if he's changed at, like, if his DNA has been, like, rearranged, you can't really... I mean, you need to go at a microscopic level to see the change, right?

I would assume that without the assistance of perhaps a psychic-heavy inquisitor or really getting down into it, you wouldn't see a major difference. Yeah. And especially not when you think about the people who are being infected, you know, like truckers and stuff. Yeah. But after that, the host will eventually wake up hours later with no injuries of any kind and absolutely no memory of what happened. They just wake up completely oblivious with no sign of damage. Where'd all the denim go? The jean stealer took it.

Wait, go ahead. I'm glad. we have the drum set. This episode is sponsored by Levi. No free ads. No, that's right. Hashtag not sponsored. Yo, Levi's...

Because the Gene Steeler took all of them. They took my money and my pants. My jeans. Where are my jeans? Oh, no. He's changed. Where is jeans? Oh, jeans.

You're wearing like... You're wearing jeans. Govikos in there. Gene Steeler does its work. You wake up wearing... khakis. It's like, oh no, my jeans. My jeans and I've got these awful beige khakis.

Oh, no, they're cargo shorts. They go above the knee. There are too many pockets. I can finally fit all my incense. Eventually, though, the person who got infected by the gene stealer, or the gene stealer will live on like a totally normal life and have a pretty heavy, Like, they get really horny. They're just like, I must mate.

I must have family. They get to a pretty large extent of wanting to start like a family and reproduce with their species, with other humans. So this. No, D.K. No, no, no, please. After you. I was just going to ask, was, are they, did they have that, like, sudden, like, sexual drive and desire to mate? because like, since their DNA's altered,

they're just going to give birth to more, like, gene-altered kids. And then it just keeps perpetuating, and they just keep making more and more, like, brain-lossed gene-stolen people. D.K., have you ever seen Happy Souls? It's a little video about, it's a little video animation about Dark Souls, too.

I have not. There's a, this is a part when they're in, like, a museum with a bunch of dinosaur bones. And one guy says, you know, I really like looking at giant bones because then you can kind of imagine what it looked like

before they were giant bones. And the other guy says, you phrased that really weirdly, but I know exactly what you're talking about. That's how I felt right now. It's like, you phrased that very strange to D.K., but I get it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did. I'll give you that. It was very strangely worded. But as long as you understood what I meant, and you can answer said weirdly stated question, And that's all the counts. Well, luckily for you, I have some answers.

Yay. So the infected human, the dude who got tonged, he's known as the contagion, which is the infected human urged to mate, pass. And therefore, when they do mate, in general, they pass it along to other humans. So now their seed has been infected. So every time they mate with anyone else, it is passed along. the first generation of children. Generation 1 is the, I am so sorry,

Malianaki, Malianasi. Oh, God. Malinacy? Man, I can't pronounce word. You did the best you could. I tried. These are like slightly altered-looking gene stealers. When this baby comes out, it has like four arms.

It looks awful But it's a little bit more human looking Like a little bit more of a normal head You know a little less of a plate The second generation The kids after this are known as hybrids These look a lot similar to the first generation But they have a bit more human features on the face

A little more normal A generation three after that Is known as a true hybrid These take a full upright stance They're bipedal They might be and they kind of might be passed off for like a mutant of the regular human species. Okay.

So in that point in time, because tyrants aren't really known to the public, these are, these are like, some, I mean, when you've got ratlings and ogren and astrophats, all these mutant strains, these guys might not be that weird. You might think they're weird, but they might not be awful. Right. The fourth generation is known as the primacy, I believe. And these aliens can basically pass for human. Some join the Imperial Garden.

Some are just workers in society. And they're good workers, so no one asks any questions. Some possess like a powers. They look weird. They've got like blue skin and stuff, but they're basically just bald, scrotum-head-looking blue-skinned, just dudes. Okay. They look like some dudes that just didn't get enough oxygen.

Mm-hmm. But they're still, like, the DNA-altered bloodline that's eventually going to turn on everybody, right? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, but they're basically just humans. How does it get to that point? Because, like, at some point, like, you're at a childbirth and it's like, hmm, seeing kids that look like that before. They grew up to be gene-stealing assholes. Like, shouldn't, didn't there be a pretty big tell?

And, like, shouldn't it never really get to generation like four, five, six? Because it's just, shouldn't she see the signs of the jeans dealer at some point? So remember, no one knows the tyrannids exist. Oh, that's right. Unless you have a really smart inquisitor, they just so happens to be visiting your planet or something. The tyranids are not known to the public. Right. Also, like, gene stealers themselves, these cults, are normally festering like underground or in like the bottom of like a mine.

These weird hybrids are like scurrying underground, almost like little scavengers. And no one knows about the tyrannid threat. They don't know what's going on. Especially when these are like, these are five generations, you know? this is a kid every, this is like a hundred and something years. At some point, the populace is just going to turn a little blue, and no one's truly going to bat an eye. Yeah, yeah, that's, I suppose that's true.

If you don't know about the tyrannid threat, and you don't know about gene stealers, and you don't even know to look out for them, I suppose they just seem like, oh, yeah, they're just a mutant, it's fine, so whatever. Considering the horrible work so many imperial colonies have, Like, it's like, well, darn it, I stood too close to the psycher for a two while. Now I'm blue. God damn psychers.

I've been working 18-hour shifts. I'm not getting enough oxygen. I'm blue. Daboudi, da. I don't know. If I were green, I would die. If I were green, they'd be Nergel. Oh, that's true.

They'd be Nergel if they were green, yeah. But that's kind of where the fun parts of the gene steelers come from is that, There are often larger, like regular tyrannid bug-bug boys. These are things known as broodlords or things that call a patriarch. And these hide, you know, way in the depths of a hive city or in the sewers of the streets. And they kind of send out little psychic signals to people and really kind of work and mess around with the populace of gene stealer cult guys that are down there in the bottom. They send sign signals. They're not like puppeting them, so

to speak, but they're kind of influencing them. And this grows, like this cult grows and grows and grows underground in back alleys in just anywhere like this that's away from the general populace. But it's like a festering, like a disease.

Yeah. So it was, It was, when you said that they had like that desire to mate, I thought they were just like infiltrating the populace and they find someone's like, oh yeah, I'll make a life with you. But I guess it would make more sense if they were just like, oh, yeah, let's do this underground where no one's going to question it. And then pop into society and, yeah.

And during this whole period of time, they are in a devout belief for their gods to arrive. The cult of the forearmed emperor is, one of the names for it. So this is why these are known as cults. Because they're actually, like, they're literally cults. They talk with secrets. They have special ways to communicate.

They've got underground messengers. And they create a legitimate secret cult, normally underground, dedicated to the Brood Brothers and the forearmed emperor that one day will come to save them all. Oh, yeah. I do remember what happens when the, uh, the, when a gene stealer loses its usefulness. I, I do, I do remember that bit from the Tarranid episode and I'm just like, oh, you really don't want that.

Nope. You really don't want that. That's not, oh, if only you knew. If only you knew. The slow, like, building up of these colts is kind of why they have a mad, Max vibe because they have their like their leaders, their primus

and I think they have like a Magus and all these other kinds of names for their group their groups and you know they act very imperial like they've got a they got kind of a religious undertone they're praying to the gods that'll come and save them

you know all that kind of stuff but that's why they have that Mad Max vibe is because often these are just civilians like blue-collar workers, miners, you know, just people like that. And that's why a lot of their weapons in game are tools normally.

Because eventually, and you might remember this very well from the Infinite and the Divine, but eventually the time for war will happen. Yeah, yeah. And when war does happen, when when it's time for the war, the war to begin, they sprout out of like sewer grates. They're hiding in the like political backrooms.

They take over a giant, what's it called? Like populated areas. And then it's just out of nowhere a giant coup occurs from all of these weird purple boys who've been hiding in the sewers for a hundred years. Yep. They come out the woodworks. In the Infinite of the Divine, they just came out from everywhere during that play. It was just fucking, it was pandemonium.

It just, and it was just in a snap of a finger. They're everywhere, and it's just hold. Yeah. They've retooled a lot of their equipment. A surprisingly powerful melee weapon in the game is a whole bunch of these dudes with rock saws. Like, they actually use. mining like saws to get to kill you they use mining lasers very often cutting tools there's even a unit i think it's called an aberrant which just used takes like a stop sign and it just carries it as a

giant club something about stops like i i don't know why but in the world of 40k i just don't imagine they're being stop signs you know that that's fair yeah it's it's it's so futuristic. I'm like, what the fuck would they need to stop someone? Who's anyway, yeah, I don't know why. No one's stopping in the Imperium. It's always go.

Go for the emperor. But it's like they have this very guerrilla warfare fighting. They like ride up on motorcycles and have like snipers. They do have psychers as well and little acolytes. So yeah, psychers are

a thing and these are tiernid cykers. so they can be pretty spooky. They'll, like, roll up on a dirt bike. They'll hit a ramp and then throw like a demo charge beneath them and blow up a tank. A lot of them have entered the Imperial Guard, so they'll take the Lehman Russes and stuff

and kind of turn them on their buddies. Oof. So, yeah, it's total pandemonium. It's complete and utter pandemonium. It just goes into a worldwide coup. They've actually got some great, great, like the names of some of their stratagems. Let me see if I can, Gene Steeler, Colt,

Wahapedia, the best source for learning about things. In that picture of all of the Gene Steeler cult minis on bikes, I'm like, man, they should be in the X games. The X games. The X games. Do they still do the X games? I don't know if they do the X games. I don't know.

But the names are like their abilities. They have like strategiums called clandestine goals. They came from below. I like that one a lot. That's like an old 80s horror comic book. Overthrow the oppressors is one of them. Detonate concealed explosives. Or one of my favorite name stratiums in the entire game,

a planned generations in the making. Oh, that's a good one. That's a really fun one. That tells you like everything you need to know about the gene. Well, not everything, but it's a nice little like, you know, because they have. It's been, they've gone through several, several generations of gene stoves to get to this point. And bam, now you're fucked.

There's a lot of neat cults too. There's a lot of various names of cults. Like they've got the cult of the forearmed emperor, of course. They have the, the pauper princes. Oh, well, yeah, I guess that makes sense. They are, they're like, I was it, the, they're very like, they're super, super zealotists to protect their, their cult leaders. There's the rusted claw. That's cool.

There's the hive cult, the twisted helix, which is neat. Twisted helix is really great because they literally have reforged your, oh, I like that. That's cool. That's a fun one. One of the best ones is known as the bladed cog, which is a gene steeler cult. of Mechanicus. Okay. Which is pretty neat.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They've got a lot of really cool names for it. But when they actually get together and start to overthrow the government and go full on war, like, I don't, it's interesting because it's not really difficult to describe. Like, imagine if you were going to overthrow a government and you did not have the tech the government did. Or let's say that you were a bunch of miners. and you were going to overthrow you're going to

overthrow your your captors or something you would take you would take your pickaxes you would take your dynamites you would have you take your like what are they called not forklift

I guess you could use a forklift you truly wanted to but you could like a bulldozer or something a bulldozer just you would use these things the kill dozer remember the kill dozer Anything that could be used as a weapon Exactly

Anything that could kill someone And so this is the Yoga God they do But this is the 40K variant You know Rock saws and lasers and explosives And you know

They have like little ridge runners And bikes And they even have some really And of course Psychic powers of course And some of these psychic powers Are pretty nuts I like one

called Might from Beyond, which is the ability to use the psycher to amplify any of the hidden genetic curses from their body to make them a lot more powerful, like stronger. Okay. They can mind control people, which is pretty cool.

Oh. They have mass hypnosis, which I think was an infant of divine when the opera singer was singing, and it was basically like turning all the people to kill each other. Oh, that's right. opera singer was doing that, wasn't she? I forgot all about that. You're right.

Which has Orican's best line in the whole book or he's like, Dammit Schlazzen, you got us box seats to a coup. It's true. Yeah. And that whole thing happened because of a joke Trazen was trying to play on Oricon. It is. Oh, that's a great damn book. That's such a good book. But there's even a few other side things. Oh, I don't know if Shied's a picture, but this guy called the Keller Morph.

He's my easily my favorite Tyrannid cult model. The Keller Morph is, I think he's like a very hybrid of the gene stealer, but he's got like four arms, but three gun, three separate revolvers. He's literally, yaha, like Big Iron McGee. Oh, three arms, three arms and three revolvers. Yeah, there was a, he's a cowboy. There was a meme you showed me about this. guy.

I probably did, yeah. I don't remember what it was, but I've seen this mini and I remember talking about him and there was some kind of like McCree meme about him. Well, he does have the big iron on his hip. In fact, he's got three big irons. Yeah, he's got all the big irons. He's cool. I like that.

And whoa, D.K., his name is not McCree now. Oh, you're right. Excuse you, D.K. I forgot all about that. Excuse me. me. All right. Has he gotten a new name yet?

Yeah, it's named Mr. Cosby. Is that, is that really? Of course, fucking not. Are you shitting me? I was gonna say, it's Blizzard. I don't know. They could make a dumb move like that and be like, that was the joke because the McCree guy was fucking awful.

I know, I know, I know. But Blizzard is so tone deaf. They could absolutely be like, oh, yeah, we changed him to John Cosby. And it's like, oh, blizzard. Oh, this is awful. This is terrible. So Gene Steelers, eh?

Yeah, man, fuck Blizzard. Yeah, fuck Blizzard. Anyway, yes, so a lot of these kinds of, like the Kellermorph, he's like the accurate gunslinger. I had a Kellermorph one tap my Celestine one time. But I think it was before the prior, the new codex. But I think he like, one tapped her and she didn't revive.

And I was like, oh my God, she got shot so dead that she just left. I'm like, because this guy just blasted him Jesus He's super funny though He's super fun I love his get-up He's literally Yeha man Yep

Also if you I love hand cannons Hand cannons are great If you notice If you look at his character In between his legs There's like a little Tyrnid symbol

That's like his little Little cult icon Oh I just thought that was a crescent moon No it's a little bug Yeah that's a little bug It's a little Tiran medallion.

There's a lot of them. They tend to wear a lot of like tiered and medallions. Oh, good for them. But unfortunately, or I guess fortunately, it depends on for them. But often after this happens and the giant war occurs, then it becomes time for the fleet to legitimately arrive. Now, of course, every action of the cult is a step towards their final destiny, right? It's a step towards their finality, the ability that the cultists are seeding the world for their great gods, their ultimate masters.

And eventually, like this might take a while, they might conquer the entire planet, and then they're just kind of there waiting for maybe sometimes even decades or even centuries later. It might take a long time. but eventually once the tyranids arrive and they feel that shadow in the warp they're finally excited that their gods have arrived sometimes they're still fighting the enemy when they do arrive and during this period of time the tyranids will you know psychically not attack the gene stealer cults and they'll work with the tyrantid race and in a will to destroy whatever remaining defenders might be on the planet yeah um of Of course, that's the very brief time in which they work with each other.

This does not last. Because, of course, the cult will always believe it is the darkest before dawn. And as the tyrannids finally arrive and rain from the sky like meteors of flesh, they will have a guy mowing the lawn outside my house. What the fuck I'm trying to talk about? Gene Steelers! Couldn't even tell. Can't even hear it?

Can't hear it. You've got a great noise gate on your mic, by the way. Fuck, man, it's quite loud on my side. Shit. Can't even hear it. Well, unfortunately. Until you yelled it, I couldn't even... Well, they're mowing the lawns of flesh in that case.

And they're making their way. They're getting their stuff taken over. But yeah, as like the tyrannid... Because you have to imagine in the skies, right? It looks like it's just raining meteors. Like a swarm that... is literally blocking out the sun. And all it is is a bunch of big ass bugs.

And then during this time, they're on their knees like, yes, yes, yes. Before them, they've arrived, they've come. And of course, you know, they're really happy until their psychic signals tell them to walk into the giant pool of dissolving acid. Yep, this is the part I remember. Yep, he's like, hey, buddy, you've done a good job, great job, that's cool.

We're going to have you forcibly walk into a giant pool of dissolving acid so we can repurpose your biomass, and we're going to sever the neural link with your brain. So that right before you... Right before you go into the acid, you will then remember everything you did and how you betrayed your loved ones and the Imperium at large and how you feel horrible and right before you die

Yeah, right before your entire you just get dissolved by acid And it's just, ah It's like the most metal thing It's super metal that the tyrantids do that They're like right before you get dissolved We're going to sever the neural link And you're going to remember everything you did

but you're going to remember it with a sane mind. Oh, that's so fucked up. You're right, it is very metal, but it's so fucked up. When you mention that they come to the planet and they're just like fleshy meteorites, the only thing I could think of was that movie Cloudy with a chance of meatballs where it's just raining meatballs.

Oh, God. I can imagine that same movie, but there's that clip where the police officer is like running towards the guy from the distance in the back. Mm-hmm. And I'm just imagining that's like the Inquisitor. He senses, he senses like a tyrannid invasion. He's like, who, who, who, who, who, who.

You know, that's a pretty good way to exterminatists the planet. Oh, yeah, they exterminatist the planet in the Ifam Divine. Yeah, they sure did. And Trayson and Orkin had front rosy. Well, Orkin was on the planet still. But, yeah, exterminatist. But yeah, first, yep. They were underground.

Yeah You got to see first-hand Exterminatus Trazan got out with his little Breadcrumb Trail of clone copies or Guard or whatever That he body shards for two

Yeah Yeah yeah That stuff But the breadcrumb trail of them But yes Then the entire planet Is now usable Powerful

Biomass for the Tyrannids And then they've therefore become more tyrannids and they consistently increase the strength of the tiered fleet. The capillary towers are created. The entire ground turns into like a mass of just gross, gross, like a network of veins beneath the skin of just biomass. And everything gets sucked up, sent back to the fleet, and they move on.

Thanks, Gene Steeler, Colt. You did a really good job. It all sounds very disgusting They ceded the world for the arrival of the Tyrannid race And they caused problems Big problems Well the planet is doomed, right? Because they just consume it

They just eat it Oh absolutely That planet is done fucked Would you like a bricky quote, DK? Of course I'd love a bricky quote Check it off on your bingo cards ladies and gentlemen Jesus. In the sunless body of our hive,

the flock of the faithful grows. We are guided by our great father's sacred vision, protected by his loving hands. Within these holy shadows we dwell, while the impure, bathe, and spire-topped starlight? And what lies between those stars? What sails beyond those distant sons? Shrouted in night,

born within that eternal black, our redeemers, our gods, truer than the silent long dead emperor, the children of the void. We hear them in our dreams. We feel them in our blood. They call and we will answer. We will rise and claim the engines of labor that have bound us in servitude. This world will burn.

It'll be cleansed, purified, made ready, and the heavens will deliver our reward. So yeah, they're basically just the Imperium, but they, they, they, they were. worship the gods of the stars. They worship the Tyrannids. Yeah, yeah. Damn, they really are a cult. That's, whew.

Even the delivery was just like so, just this deranged cult following. Gene Stealers are bad. They're bad. They are very bad. They are gross. They are bad. They're gross and bad.

I don't ever want to be, I don't ever want to have my DNA rearranged by a jeans dealer. A twisted helix, man. That's true. I mean, you get some pretty cool drip, apparently, by, you know, some cool names. But, uh, I'd rather not. I'd rather not get the old, uh, tongue fucking from a jeans dealer. Well, you don't remember it, though, so you're fine.

That's true, you just wake up in khakis with too many pockets. That's right. Yeah, you, you just wake up with my... your pants gone. Like, God damn it took my kidney. I knew I shouldn't have worn the good jeans today.

Damn it. They have those. To myself. I thought that should be a comedic sitcom where, or, you know what?

There's the plan. You take a room of 10 people. You have to have them survive on a space station like among us. But, but during that period of time, it's not about living.

It's about keeping your pants. And so the moment you wake up with khaki, you're like, fuck, I lost. Ah, I lost. My, ah, they stole my jeans. Although now all I can imagine is one of those, uh, her gene steers with like the forearms and like a Levi's commercial like posing.

Jeans so good, you'll steal them. Jeans. Jeans so good, you think they'd be stolen. Gene is so good. We have to put down a rebellion every, every solar generation. Gene's so good, I ate a planet for them. Gene's so good. good, they make you hungry.

I'm actually curious about this twisted helix group. Let's see. Hailing from the macro alchemical distilleries that provide the Medicaid class civilized worlds of Vigolium 3. What the fuck was that sentence? Vigolium 3, eh? Hailing from the macro alchemical distilleries that provide the Medicaid class civilized world of Vigio... Fuck. Vjovium

Vajovium the 3 With its exported medicines Why use big word When small word do trick Ah Because how else are you going to sound smart Unless you're like Oh yeah

The macro nutritional exporting of macro You know You gotta sound smart Otherwise if you're just like Yeah they export medicine It's like Ah Anybody can say that

But if you use big word You sound big smart The cult's broodkin skulk an enormous metaphactoria that appear from the aristocracy spires like the laboratories of some godly sage, all spiral glass pipelines and chimneys that belt strangely colored smoke. At the high cost of the volunteers' lives, the magisters of the industrial cult have learned how to extract the germ seed of the gene stealer and incorporate. into the curative syringe vials that form a major part of the medical export. Though the, oh my God. So they found a way to take out the gene stealer's seed

and come and then find a way to lace it in, lace it inside of the, so this is a planet that has a massive export of medicine. And what they do is they put the gene steel strain into the medicine and then ship it to other systems. Oh, that's so fucked up. That's so cool.

It is very cool, but that's so fucked up. Oh, my God. That's right. They're insane doctors that ship tainted medical supplies into other systems. That's so cool. That is, that is for, oh, boy. So you could just be on some random ass Imperium planet and, you know, like, ah, damn it. I cut my finger.

hard. And you're just like, ah, let me get some, uh, you know, let me get, let me get some medical ointment for it, you know, put a band-aid on it. And then suddenly you're a gene seed cult? That's, fuck. A gene stealer cult? Remember? Yeah, maybe they, or like, maybe you're really sick and they give you a shot of penicillin. In reality, they just, they just impregnated you. Yeah. Ooh. Ooh. Most headache ever. Ooh, wake up from that one. Yeah. Yuck. That's, oh, boy, that's, that's, oh, boy, that's fucked up. Ooh, we, that's, that is,

ooh, I don't like that. It's very cool, though. That's very sinister, very cool. Would you like to know some of the funny, the relics they have? So, so every faction has things called relics. For example, there's actually a relic that I have in my, on a Knight Lord's character you can use called the scourging chains. And it's actually, the person is draped in the chains of the screaming gallery.

So it's actually pretty neat. They have like lore things like that. I think actually in the Sisters Codex in the Crusade mode, you can actually use the sword that decapitated Doge Van Dyer. Oh, nice. Yeah, it's pretty dope. That's cool. But they have something called the staff of the subterranean master.

It's a capped by a sculpture of a tyrannid god. It resonates with animalistic power. giving a psychic allure, allowing the wielder to cause the tiny vermin of the land to rise up. Poisonous worms, spiders, plague rats, everything like that will immediately become like your friends and attack other enemies through the streets. This dude's got a staff and he's like, ding, ding, and then all the fucking spiders start like putting on boxing gloves and start beating the shit out of you. That sounds like some Nergel shit. Well, it's just like any kind of vermin. I guess like flies and stuff, sure.

But it's also like rats and maybe even like dogs and like cats. That's crazy. Little like mosquitoes and shit. That's such a cool idea though. And very surprisingly powerful. I mean, because there's always vermin and shit like that all over and you get enough of it to just converge. I think there's something here, what's this?

The gift from beyond. It's a long-barreled rifle painted with the blood of a patriarch, given to a wielder that has the ability to deal with its instincts. And I think it's just like a long sniper rifle, I think, but it's gift, it has the blood of the patriarch. There's some other really weird ones. There's like the metal, Fucking GW. It's just... Okay, the Aesimist one.

The reliquary of Saint Tendark, it's a sacred remains of a saint who had a spiritual importance to like the palper princes. It has said that he was a magus and the first gene sect of them dove in front of his patriarch and saved him from a sniper bullet

died in the process, so now they like keep his reliquary, I guess? Oh. It's very sisters like. Yeah, that's a very sister thing to do. That doesn't, yeah. There's a crouchling. A crouchling is a skittering gene stealer familiar

in a very high voice. And it's very weak, but it has a good psychic presence, and it makes people have hallucinations. First I thought, it sounded like hound. It's this tiny little high-pitched mistress. That makes sense, but it's more like to look at it. Like a gene stealer. Yeah.

Yo, there's a cult called the Sons of Yormingander. What the hell? What is... Who's Yormengander? In Norse mythology, Yormengander is the giant snake. Oh, okay. It's the world serpent. Gotcha.

Did you play God of War? I played God of War four. It's the big snake. Yeah. I think it was four that he was in, right? I think there was a big giant snake. Okay, cool. I guess...

Now that Ragnarok's going to know. Anyway, go ahead. This one hails from a string of infested space stations across the black nebula. They worship a high fleet, the high fleet Yormengander, because there is a high fleet of Tyran is known as Yormingander. Oh, okay.

And they use the relative safety of the orbital stations to mask their spread. Interesting. I wonder, oh, I think the... Wait, so, where the Tyrannid bio ships fill hauled out asteroids with spores and hurl them at play. Wait, what to hold the fucking foam?

Oh, what? The vector of infection used by the suns is inspired by the high fluid they worship where the Tyrannid bioships fill hollowed out asteroids with egg-like spores and hurl them at planets. Whoa. And the sons of the Yorman Gander stole away in bulk freighters and cargo ships that go into the space station. They stopped to like refuel and dock and then these dudes like skitter their way onto the ships and then spread.

Oh. That's dope as hell. I'm still on that asteroid part. Like, so they just hollow out. Did that. They just hollow out an asteroid, fill it with eggs, and then just yeat. They do like mass effect arrival where they blow up like the relay. That's like, oh boy, that's, that sucks.

That's like the Cadbury cream egg from hell. Hell. The creamy center is just like, oh, look, it's tearing it eggs. That's a good, that's a good ass analogy. I like that. The Cadbury cream egg from hell. That's what it is. It's awful.

Oh, God, it's not a creamy, wonderful, sugary center. It's tearing it eggs. We're fucked. What's that one joke? It's like, get out of here. All you do is bring pestilence. And it's like, I also bring gifts. Aw, it's eggs.

Damn it. I don't know that one. one, but, yeah. I'm sure you've seen it before. Maybe, maybe. I saw this one small one with Nurkel. And there is like, where is brother stinkiness? And he's like, oh, he's out sick. I was like, oh, okay. And this Nurgo's guy's like, wait a fucking second. He's out sick. If a Nurgel's out sick, I just imagine that they're very healthy and they're feeling good and you know. They look normal. Yeah. Like, oh, God, he's been come down with the clean. Oh no. Also, oh my God, don't clean your nergel models. Oh, God. Have you seen the great

clean one? Yeah. When Kierreuth was doing the Dreadnought episode, we went on this whole big thing about how how much more unsettling clean nergel models look than the, like their decrepit, ugly form. And it's stop cleaning your nergle models. Dude, no one, no one cleans their nergel models besides a couple people who just really want to cause problems. Those people are very talented, but oh, you, it's so cursed. It's the best kind of cursed. Yeah, well, yeah, sure. Okay, whatever.

I said it's the best kind of cursed. Yes, exactly. Totally the best kind of curse, Bricky. You're 100% right. I don't know what I was talking about. Damn fucking straight. Anyway, I think that's about what we got on terms of Gene Steeler cults. You know, they don't have a whole lot of, like, I mean, there's some stuff, like, other, like, other cults that we could talk about in a later episode.

But it's very much just like, yeah, it's what it seems like. The Gene Steeler's seed a world. The world rises up, waits for the Tiernids to arrive. They get to eat it, and they move on. But they're really, it's a really neat idea. It's a neat concept. Yeah. It's a crazy way to take over a planet.

And it takes generations potentially. You could live and die before the Gene Steeler Colts plan comes to fruition. Yeah. Yeah, you absolutely could. It is a very cool idea. It's very funny. I like the little chemicals or alchemy-allus stuff. It's great.

Yeah. It's dope. It's been great. I've had immense fun learning today. Wonderful. Well, everyone, thank you for listening to this episode of Adeptus Ridiculous. We're going to make sure that D.K. never understands Fulgram in ajar. My name has been Bricky.

You can find me everywhere. You could also check out the Adeptis Ridiculous Twitch page, which we might begin doing some more streams soon on. We did a painting stream recently. Right now, it might only. be once a week, maybe if even, but we'd like to do more if possible. So check it out.

If anything, shoot us to follow. Say, what's up? D.K., what could they find you? D.K. Diamantees everywhere, Twitter, Twitch, YouTube, and nobody cares about Instagram. Oh, yeah. And you can find quiet shy,

quite shallow at all the other words you want to find her. I don't know how she does her stuff. Whatever, man. Whatever, man. man. I'm gonna go worship my forearm emperor. He lets me smoke fucking, that good boof.

Lock up your jeans, by the way. Keep those jeans safe. Yeah, lock up those Levi's because khakis are kakies are cringe. That's the end thing.