Adeptus Ridiculous - HERETIC LEGION: Bound by the suffering ties of Damnation | Trench Crusade Lore

Episode Date: March 26, 2025

https://www.patreon.com/AdeptusRidiculoushttps://www.adeptusridiculous.com/https://twitter.com/AdRidiculoushttps://shop.orchideight.com/collections/adeptus-ridiculousA shroud of darkness blankets the world. Smoke and brimstone spews from the yawning gates of Inferno, enveloping the lands where people have abandoned God and openly wage war against His Creation. It is a grim reality that a full third of humanity has bent its knee before the idols of Hell. The main military force of Satan on Earth is the Heretic Legions, raised from amongst these citizens of the damned.Though the vast bulk of the Heretic Legions are made of mortal humans, Hell often sends their own abhorrent progeny to reinforce their mortal foot soldiers: nightmarish War Beasts made of captured and possessed creatures and dreaded Artillery Witches who act as mobile artillery supporting lighting assaults. Thus, in this accursed theatre of war, mortals and abominations march hand in withering hand, bound by the suffering ties of damnation. The wails of tortured beasts meld with the shrieks of damned souls, while the skies rain down fiery retribution upon all who dare to oppose the Heretics’ ceaseless crusade for a demented parity with their Creator.Support the show

Welcome everyone to another episode of the Adeptus Ridiculous podcast. My name is D.K. Diamantis, his name is Bricky, and why it is that time of the month for Kyrieh. But before we get into that, if you enjoy today's episode, and maybe you want to support the podcast, head over to Patreon.com slash Adeptis Ridiculous, ridiculous. Blupies that they happen. $15 tier gets you access to all of our posters in whatever digital form you want to call it. It's great. You should check it out. Patreon.com slash Adeptus Ridiculous.

Bricky say the stuff. Yes, there's stuff. You know, you can check out the Merchant Orcinate.com and all that great stuff. Hello, everybody. How are you today? Daylight savings time can eat my I don't want to swear this early

into the thing. Daylight saving times, and it has been beaten up on me. It's just an hour difference and I cannot get over it. And I just not happy about it. Nope. It do be a little rough at times. A little,

a little gruff, one might say. Just ignore it. Make it everyone else's problem. Just carry on like you were before and demand that everyone else follows along with it and so happens. You're up an hour late to everything. Just be like, I'm on time!

DK, you're an hour late. Yeah, whatever, sheep. Brilliant. I'm not late, you're early. Deal with it. That's just how things are. Yeah. You need to be,

undeniably wrong as quick as you possibly can be. That's the power. Hell yeah. I will say we've had a, we've had a fun, a fun stretch of, of content as of recently. We had our, we had our foods. We had our bite and blast,

uh, episode. And then, uh, and now, now it's, it's good old Kiryoth time. And Kyrioth, I mean, you are coming hot off the heels of the Malcador episode. Yeah. And like, that's a big one, my man.

Yeah. I mean, Big shoes to fill. The only thing we can do is is hope to, is hope to like maintain the level, but I will settle for like a step down because I'm also realistic.

So, you know, we got to make sure that things are, things sort of stay consistent, right? That's the way to do it. You aim slightly lower and then it's wonderful when you exceed expectations if you do, which we will. The only thing consistent about this podcast is

its inconsistency. Ah. It comes out when you expect it to. That's the promise. That's the attempt as ridiculous guarantee. That is true. We end up making sure we always can get the episode out on the times that are required. What we do pass that, as anyone's guess.

But we're rolling from it. That's the important thing. Consistency is key. So, in the spirit of consistency and maintaining standards. I've got a quote for you. Hell yes. And to be sure that we're consistent, and I'm sure I'm going to get it wrong. I love how there's the two reactions between the two of us. So I was like, let's go. And then you were like, ugh. I love it. It's always more of excitement. The morning depression again.

Great. Yeah. Classic. All right. Hit us with it. A shroud of darkness blankets the world. Smoke and brimstone spuse from the yawning gates of inferno enveloping the lands where people have abandoned God an openly wage war against his creation. Who just thinks waging war here? Okay, so my first thought is like open of thing. It sounds like kind of vash story, not him specifically, but like some kind of like demon fortress world of like production and stuff. But the idea that the Imperium has a world called Inferno, that particularly wages war against the dark gods also makes a lot of sense.

So I'm not 100%, but the vibe I'm getting is like demon fortress world production, something. Yeah, it's definitely like some kind of demon world. I'm just going to go for the obvious. It's it's some world that's been conquered by like corn, world eaters. You know, it's, it's sticky. Maybe it's like Are there demon?

Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, with demons you gotta be icky and sticky. Okay. I don't know if they're... You're not and you don't. Oh, Lord. Damn.

Harsh. Harsh. The immediate shutdown. Listen, I'm trying to get this quote. I'm trying to get this quote wrong here. Okay. I mean, you are succeeding in getting it wrong.

But to be fair. Wow. We are all killing each other this morning. You've overlooked a couple of key components. Okay. All right. Share these components with us. Okay.

This is the episode of just slapping down, isn't it? So the word God showed up, but it wasn't God Emperor. And there was talk of waging war against his creation. But could you say that the God Emperor has created? created the universe himself? What? No? The hell are you smoking?

Shai's got it. I'm dodging. Are we doing trench crusade today? Trench crusading. I'm dodging Malkador by doing a different universe. That's how you're dodging Malkador. He just didn't even tell us that it wasn't a war ever ever episode. Jesus.

All right. That's one way to make sure we don't get the quote right, though. I'm assuming. I might stick with that in future. I'm just not going to tell you what the basis of the quote is even from. And then see what the interpretation is. Damn. We were so far off, Bricky.

Holy shit. I mean, like, yeah, well, yeah, it was because he told us to dress for the wrestling meet, and we were playing tennis. I don't have my racket, man. Yeah, we were dressed for a WWE event and he's taking us to Wimbledon. I would hate to see that.

I'm just saying. Mid air in a jump into my pool for four minutes and he drops this with me. The most popular new lock screen. Let's go. I'm not making another episode of Adidavitius until these views hit at least 10,000. You got to at least get 10,000.

next episode starts with four score and seven years ago our father's brought forth and it's about it's about Warhammer fantasy Oh god Okay yeah I'm afraid I did absolutely Throw you not just a curveball

But just outright Outright in some ways Did a live omission We're talking trench crusade And specifically we're going to talk about The Heretic Legions And depending on how long we go for there might be a little bit of mention of the

court of the seven-headed serpent but main focus we're going heretic legions the ones who are actively fighting against literally God and the rest of humanity that's pretty good

also the seven-headed serpent were the ones that were really like body horror right that you like so much the seven-headed serpent are like yeah they've got like the sorcery he's a bit he's a bit demony They've also got like the prey tour. There's like a mix of knights with guns, for instance, which are fantastic, and also intestines

everywhere. They're not quite as severe as the Black Grail, but they're kind of up there in weird units. The heretic legions are like the mortals, like the proper, proper, mostly humans with a few extras, like the artillery witch or the death commander. It's my favorite pin-up girl. The desecrated saint is my favorite. because it has like the the guy sitting in like the middle of all of that nonsense. It just like knees up and just shivering in terror in this just massive, disgusting

mall of bleh. No, we know some of the head of it's here but shy. I think we're just pointing out which like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the coolest. We're talking about Heretic Legion. We might get to this later, but yeah. Also, isn't the dude into the chest not? I think he's smiling.

I think I remember seeing. the artwork and he's just having a right whale over time he's loving it yeah oh yeah guys check out when you ride yeah he is I was right yeah he's she's chilling

or is that just a skull no is he smiling or is that just a skull zoom in enhance all skull smiling in some way I mean only the happy ones well yeah yes

but yes I guess it goes, yeah. So heretic legions. Yes, the heretic legions, your kind of bread and butter troops, your normal guys, definitely not normal, obviously. So the main satanic military force in the Great War are the Heretic Legions. And there are a lot of them, because when the gates of hell opened and Jerusalem was swallowed up in a massive inferno

and everything went wrong, a full third of humanity serves hell at this stage. So literally one in three people have bent the knee to real actual hell, which is a big number. It's kind of excessive, but as you'd expect, obviously, this being Trench Crusade, there is a reason for a third by the look of things. So the measurement of one-third is used quite a bit in the book of Revelations. So in Revelations 9, 15 to 18, there is a specific statement of,

and the four angels who had been kept ready for this very hour and day, and months and year were released to kill a third of mankind. The number of the mounted troops was twice 10,000 times 10,000, I heard their number. So there's like a direct thing of a third of the human race gets annihilated, specifically by four angels, but there's kind of a nice basis there for why a third of humanity might have turned over to hell in the Great War between like light and dark, I guess, would be the way to phrase it. Do we, do they, um, do we know much about the angels? Not really. There's not a huge amount of stuff about angels in, uh, in Transcrucite at the moment, whether they expand. of that in the future. I don't know. I think it's one of those things where an angel would be powerful

enough to significantly alter the course of things, and so they don't really interfere, just as there isn't any, like, proper direct action from God, and the archdevils of hell aren't necessarily going out themselves to fight. It would kind of break a bit of a covenant and could end up in just everything getting wiped out. So instead it's almost like a proxy war, in a way where you've got a bunch of mortals fighting each other, but you don't want the actual, like, celestial or hellbound beings joining in, because the measure of power just gets, it gets a bit much, and there would be nothing left at the end of it.

So the angels aren't, like, primark scale. The angels are like, oh, yeah, they're, like, godly beings, almost. Like, like, it'd be like, oh, yeah, this is why we don't want corn. to join a fight. Yeah, from what I've seen, it seems to ball down to they are just so powerful that they would absolutely obliterate everything they came into contact with. And they don't also want to do that to the faithful because it's not necessarily, I would assume, like a controllable power.

They have landed and everything disappeared. Yeah, that's the overall law for the Heretic Legions, it is some of the most fun for me because of like how horrifying and over the top it is, even by the standards of Trench Crusade. And part of that because we, it's because we get stuff like glimpses into hell as a place. So the church will send spies into hell's domains. They get absolved before leaving.

And most of them, obviously, get caught, disappear, never come back. Some of them do come home, with information. A few of them get back to New Antioch, but they don't have their body, they're just an eternally screaming head that's got blasphemous ruins carved into it. So that's nice.

Some of the spies will just be delivered back just a head, always screaming, never stopping. Is that like a seven situation where hell specifically re-delivers it to be like, hey, we know you're watching, here's the head of your, by be afraid the next time you try this?

I feel like it's a warning thing. It's like, we know. Not only do we know, but we can do things to your people that make them effectively exist in a horrific state and in eternal pain and unable to die, which is a pretty decent threat. You know, I don't think I'd volunteer after seeing that personally. But some of them do make it back and they do have actual information to report. So in no particular order, some of the reported things that the spies have brought back,

that there are inverted pyramids and towers made of iron and black stone, that there are cathedrals to the princes of hell hanging from arches of volcanic stone while condemned get crucified on upside down crosses. Bit hardcore quality. There are sacrificial altars where captives are sliced, to death over days and weeks. There's also... That's my stuff right there.

This is a night lord's wet dream. I'm here. I'm loving my time here. Jesus. There's also firstborn being thrown into the mouths of burning statues. All right. You've got human flesh being sold at like dark markets within hell. and another quality biblical reference,

idols of the golden calf, and men and women who like prostrate themselves in front of the idols of the golden calf, carving their own skin off as an offering to it. So pretty bad. Overall, not great. Can you define prostrate for us? So like sort of going flat on the floor in front of something.

It's like an act of worship thing. Yeah, to get down on the floor on your belly. Thank you very much. Because I think my brain heard castrate. And I was like, that's a different one. You know, with how you were like, Kerea specifically explained that to me, I was like he heard prostate. I did not hear prostate.

How do you prostate yourself in front of? I mean, that being said, the devil would like that stuff. Yeah, he would be happy for that kind of thing. There's an archdevil of lost. So, you know, there's, you know, there's, you know, there's. There's options. There's options if you really want to go that way. I will also say that Possum has made a very good observation here.

That the above, especially the non-Euclidean geometry, all the things you see while attempting to find the bathroom whilst you're wasted at a weather spoon, which is 100% correct. And literally anyone who's British listening to this will agree. And they need to sign off, sound off, because they know that that is exactly how weather spoons works. At a weather spoons, huh?

Is that like being, being fucked up at like a yardhouse kind of deal? Yeah, it's a chain of pubs that do very cheap everything. And, you know, especially if you're a student, it's a good place to get a bad but cheap meal and then get so drunk you can't stand. Great for that. Terrible for everything else.

What would that be for us, D.K. like a yardhouse or something maybe? Yeah, yardhouse or like a BJs? A BJs, yes, yes, a BJs. That feels more college core. Yeah, definitely. Even the BJs are expensive now. They are, yeah.

Love a good yardhouse though. I don't know how cheap Weatherspoons is anymore. I feel like they got hit pretty hard during the whole pandemic thing. It might be that they're not the place to go, but I'm old now, so I don't have any of the frame of reference. Fair enough. This was hip when I was young, I swear. So this is the question I have, the biggest question.

Normally when it comes to a lot of these factions, there tends to be like a reasoning for the horrible things they do. In a heretics mind, what are they thinking? And they're like, yep, this is the right call. Like, why are they thinking that? Like, what, why are they like, you know what, first born into the pit? You, come here. I've got something I want to do to you. So there is, like one of the question of the law primer

It specifically says once proud cities of earth Where churches have been toppled And entire populations are now dedicated towards bringing down the very throne of heaven For me, I think part of it might simply be that There are places within that region Where there is There is essentially like hell on earth in a way so if you are one of the people in that region,

whether it's a corrupting thing, whether it's a feeling of abandonment that no one has come and, you know, closed the gate between hell and the real world. Plus, there's one of the things that is like, kind of interesting is the actual, like, descriptions of hell. So at the moment, like, current conceptions of hell are based off the world.

of Dante and the poem Paradise Lost by Milton. But when it comes to just like the biblical side of things, there's no actual description of what hell looks like. There isn't a kind of breakdown of this is where it is, this is what it is, this is what it appears as. The closest that you get really is the usage of the word Gahanna, which was a real world location in Jerusalem, that was basically a big pit for incineration,

that may in the past have been used for things like human sacrifices, specifically on the like child end of the spectrum. So the usage of that word doesn't mean that Gehenna was hell, but it could be like a close real-world example as to what hell is like, effectively a massive burning pit where there is, you know, sacrifice and suffering and the like. and the fact that it would obliterate anything thrown into it. So you can kind of look at the Trench Crusade law and double back to the idea that the legions of hell are reflective

of how things look in the modern physical world. So hell might be its own place, but it's also potentially manifested as an actual location on earth. And so there is just occupation. There are people who have grown up in that area, who are born in that area, who either willingly join hell to fight against the faithful or are just outright forced to. So something that they do have is a unit which is called the wretched. And the wretched, they are not in a good position. They're not having a great time.

They sort of get a choice, really. as one of the wretched. So either someone who's been captured and falls into the hands of Heretic Warband, it might be someone who, like, exists in a city or town that is within that kind of hell area. It might be that you get traded around as a slave, but there's a few choices you get as wretched.

So you can either get work to death in the factories. Not a great choice. You could get butchered for meat, also not ideal. You could get sold to agents of the court of the seven-headed serpent to be used as a battery, but you do get to be used as a battery, basically, raw power for goetic spells. So those are your choices when it comes to a horrible death, or alternatively, you can volunteer to serve in the heretic legions. So you basically just become a penal trooper. You're completely disposable, but if you rebel against God and perform a sufficient, impressive or great deed, you actually get freedom. You are given your freedom. You have

rebelled against God. You have successfully, you know, done damage to the faithful in some way. And if you do that, you will be set free because hell has a code, even if it is a horrible and, you know, completely messed up one. But really, in practice, it means you just get driven in front of war bands as a bullet sponge or a buffer for charges. And you also have got tattoos that are like cursed so that you can't escape. And they're constantly drugged very heavily so they don't have free will. But they do have untouched aggression. So, you know, there's ways out.

But if you think that people who aren't willingly going towards hell, like they will capture people and those people will find that the way to be free is to essentially fight for them anyway. So, yeah, it's also like, because there are places on earth that are controlled by hell, but not actually in hell, there will be people who are born and raised in occupied areas. So the chances are, you don't have a choice. You either serve hell. You're born in being a wretched.

Yeah, yeah. But you can, like, voluntarily, you can voluntarily, like, become a heretic trooper which is something we'll get to in a minute which is a whole process but yeah it's hell is it seems to be a kind of mix of

what you might picture hell as being in terms of somewhere that is other to earth but it also controls part of earth it's also like actively infringing on earth and there's multiple gateways from hell to earth

so it's like a whole occupation thing going on as well. Can I ask real quick? So you said like hell has a code right? And it's like, oh yeah, if you do significant damage to the holy armies, they'll give you freedom. Is that like, is that like

for real, for real? Or is that just like a carrot that they're dangling? And they're just like, oh, yeah, you did really good, but now we're going to kill you. Like, did they actually let you free and they just let you go and you can just do whatever you want? Then they'll just let you be? You get set free, you can go about your business.

It's actually literally a rule in the tabletop side of Trench Crusade, which is fantastic. So, law of hell, if a wretch manages to take any enemy elite model out of action or performs a glorious deed, it gains its freedom and is immediately removed from the battle and from your warband permanently. Oh, it sounds like in the tabletop you don't want to do that then, because you lose a dude. Well, I assume that the wretched are pointed in a way that makes them so, like, vastly one-use missiles that whether they die or kill, they're supposed to be then removed from the battle, right? They are cheap. They're not just cheap, but they also can't take any equipment that costs more than 10 dukats. So, you're talking the most basic stuff.

They also can only have melee weapons from what I can understand from the rules. So you can give them a bit of armor. you can give him a melee weapon. They don't get guns. And yeah, they are fodder. But if one of them does something particularly impressive, he's gone. He's free. You've got to take him out of the war band and out of the battle.

And that, like, character, so to speak, they are no longer part of your group because it did the thing. And hell has the rule. If you do it, you get set free. Which is kind of cool, to be honest. reminds me a little bit of um this might be a bit of a deeper cut uh command and conquer three cain's wrath has a unit which is like the fanatics every yeah i'll remember those yeah they're just like our lives for cane and then they just like you just run at people and do like unfathomably

large amounts of damage but then you know either way they either get shot and killed which soaks up some spots for all of your other units to like kill them or they do their job and they're And also, and so it's like, hey, you know, like, you win either way. Yeah. Yeah. It's not, like, it's not great being born in the hell sort of infected areas. One way or another, you are probably going to end up fighting for them. And as shy says, like, after you've, after you've fought the faithful and earned your freedom,

I mean, by that point, where do you actually go and what do you do? I was actually going to ask that once I saw that mess. from Shai and we got to it because it's like you you cannot go back to a normal life because the armies of like the holy God are not going to take you in and they're going to kill you on site you're not going back to hell do you just find like an isolated little corner of the world where there's no fighting and just pray that no one finds you

I feel like you're locked in where you even go once you're free you're just locked in you're now fighting for hell Like, you've actively betrayed God. Yeah. And presumably God will be like, no. You're not coming over to anywhere where the faithful exist because you have been actively murdering, you know, faithful souls. Chances are God's got like an eye on you and is going to keep track of you because you specifically did something that hell really appreciated and killed a really holy person. and so good luck chuck no matter what you do you are out of luck basically and with the wretched

it's just like the worst version of it because they just have no choice because you can't like voluntarily decide i'm going to go and serve hell and we'll let's let's talk about the heretic legionettes because they are like the foundation of the heretic legions and i'm just going to read you this direct quite from the law primer because this to me this feels like the most insane amount of effort, to work for beings that are actively like ruining your entire planet. So, those who wish to win a place amongst the heretic legions must make an unholy pilgrimage to the burning bronze gates of hell, where even from leagues away, the infernal heat sears both flesh and spirit until the pain becomes unbearable. In the Valley of Tears, the Great Road

that leads to the gate paved as it is with wailing souls and lamentations, is littered with endless mounds of charred bodies. And it gets worse. Many are still half alive, writhing in agony, trapped in a grotesque twilight between life and death. Their wickedness deemed insufficient. Like, they weren't awful enough to make it. So they are now trapped as a half-burnt corpse, but still alive. These discarded souls are doomed to writhe in agony until the day of judgment.

So there's a fail state for this. If you decide you voluntarily want to serve hell and you're not a wretched, you just want to make the pilgrimage. And it's bad. Those who make it within sight of hell's more are considered worthy and are initiated into the legions, taking unbreakable vows that chain them into the darkness for all eternity, their bodies branded with the mark of the devil lord that has claimed them. At that point, they get armour, they get equipment, and they are officially a heretic, Legionaire.

Like, I'm not going to lie. Like, I'm sorry to boss baby this, uh, because I am going to boss baby this, but like, I'm getting quite the corn vibe where it's like, yeah, listen, like, this sucks and everything. But hey, you put in the work. You lift your stuff up by the bootstraps, you know, you grind and hell will be, will like reward you. But this time it's like actually real. I guess that makes sense because corn is very much so like,

your stereotypical devil personification anyway, right? So it would track that, like, you're getting corn vibes from this. It's just a sheer effort. It's the sheer amount of effort. It's like, Earth is an absolute hellscape, literally, in several places, because of actual real hell full of actual real devils and actual real tortured souls.

And you've got people going, I want me some of that, so badly that I'm going to risk, becoming a burnt mound of flesh screaming for eternity. Because if I do get there, it will be great. Like, that's, that's, that's a, that's a, that's a worrying level. I'm assuming at this point that actually in the Trench Crusade universe, therapy has not been exist, like, it's not been created.

It doesn't exist. There's no such thing as therapy there because I feel like some of these people, I was going to say, in the crusades, yeah, there probably wasn't a lot of therapy. in the holy crusades of God versus the devil. Yeah, probably not a lot of therapy going on. Yeah, it's just, yeah, nope, nope. You can go a step further as well. If you get to like within sight of Hellsmore

and you think, no, I can do better than this, you can push on even further and approach the gate itself. And if you've got strong enough willpower to carry on, you can push forward. Your skin will go on fire, which is a problem, but it's worth it, because if you can enter Inferno itself, you can become one of the Anointed. The Anointed are badass, and they are described as paragon's of unhinged brutality.

So the skin is blackened and burn. It never heals, they're like permanent pain from what I understand. But they get to wear heavy Gahena armored suits, which there's a Gahenna mention again, and they can carry weapons that just normal humans can barely lift. So that dude right there has got a, basically a big old flame thrower and incredibly strong armor, all because he walked through the gates of hell and had all his skin burn off. Kind of reminds me of a Darth Vader-esque deal. I love how he's also like

I don't know it's like you see the original retchin and they're obviously having these large like lacerations and missing parts of their skin on their body and this dude just feels like the end end goal of that except he just he hopped on a cycle and he's just like really buff now. He sure is. Also I love I love the fact that he's also carrying what is based is like a gas can and the fact that his is. our body is so burnt. Like, I know it's not the reason why, but it looks like he's like, well, you know, this was kind of my mistake here. I was a little bit, I was a little bit too rambunctious with my flamer. It's his cross to bear.

Ha, ha. He's, uh-huh. Oh, dear. He's committed. He's committed to the, he's committed to his approach. Might have malfunction once before. But, hey, you just keep doing it. It's fine.

Besides, if you, you know, burn two more people than you accidentally sound. on fire from your own side, that means you're winning. I just like the fact that you've got what is essentially a suit of armour and, and like more of a kind of traditional sort of suit of armour as opposed to a sci-fi one, and then just gun with petrol can attached. I just love that mix of stuff in Trench Crusade. A lot of it, it's like, here's a medieval knight and he's holding a shotgun. Why?

Who cares? It looks great. That's the important bit. the rest of it kind of irrelevant also how shit does your life have to be to show up to this place the road is literally writhing suffering souls that couldn't make the journey before the most demonic yellow brick road ever and you're just like yeah I no but I I'd win like I mean are they born in it so have the choice is it's it's it's it's it's the question isn't it it's like some of them, they do have the choice.

Like, they will make a pilgrimage to do so. And so just how, how bad a time did you have in school? You know? Like, how, how rough was the last couple of years where you went, you know what? I really do think that I could literally walk into hell. And I think it's worth a try, you know? But the thing is, it does get, it does literally get,

worse. So there is like the step three of this program, as Shai has said. So the choristers. Now, I've written, I've written this kind of one sentence introduction and I'm going to read it and it sounds like I'm being really over the top and like I'm just oversimplifying, but I'm genuinely not. So, listening. Have you ever hated God so much? that you willingly travel into hell and then self-trimand-in. Can honestly say have never. No? Sorry, fam.

Nah. No, not in for that one? Okay, that's fair. You wouldn't get it. That is basically sometimes. So the caristers, they take the whole idea of like the heretic leetion. and the anointed and they really ramp it up. So they hate, they properly hate God and they will head into hell and commit the ultimate sin.

So like self-chamming it. A mortal sin. You should not self-chamining it. And they willingly do it to sacrifice themselves to hell. So some of the heretics will have a particularly good or like sonorous singing voice, but they won't have any real prospects of rising through the ranks. But if they are properly motivated, if they really, really want to go for it, they can go down the dark path of becoming a chorister.

They will find black altars at the bottom of these like inverted period. the ones that are dedicated to the various archdevals. Then they get all dressed up, looking real nice in their dark robes. Then they'll lie on the altar and mutilate themselves to death by carving runes into their flesh. And the more that they can suffer before they die, the more pleasing their offering is. They're offering being, you know, them, their soul, their entire literal life. and the ones that are really wanted, the ones that are super, super on board for becoming someone carrying their own head around, they will...

Soft coming in it. Trying to cut as deep as possible before they bleed out and die. Now, most of this doesn't work for them. They don't get anything out of it. They just end up in the lake of fire, you know, eternal torment, suffering, etc., etc., usual hell stuff. But some of them get reborn as. Choristers after nine days and they'll stand up, they'll finish cutting their own heads off and then they will hold their head out and it will start to sing hymns that they've learned

whilst they were in the Lake of Fire, which funnily enough causes all sorts of issues for the people around them. So the faithful, if they hear the sound of this, it causes extreme problems for them. And they just sort of wander out, join a war band, and travel across no man's land, singing horrible hymns out of their decapitated faces, whilst their blood vessels make weird sigils and signs coming out of their neck. They are easily one of the most horrible things for their heretic legionnaires, to be honest. I mean, so, like, I mean, they got the weird ruins and sigils.

But what do they, like, do? Is it the hymn, is, are they just like a big debilitating hymn screamer? Or, like, do they have, like, murder? Yeah, they, they, they cause extreme problems of, like, strength and resolve, weakening. Like, as they sing, it just makes the enemy feel not, not at all good, because all of the hymns are just prophecy. Like, it's just a constant prophecy of hell is going to, win. Hell is going to win. You cannot fight. You are going to lose just constantly. So, as shy a bit in, the great military hospice of New Antioch has a separate wing for those who have

never recovered from hearing a chorister's dirge, their minds forever lost in a vision of eternal damnation, tied to their iron frame beds, screaming of the world to come when all is covered under the darkness lit only by eternal flames. nice jeesh hell yeah that's uh that's that's

pretty metal I guess is is is that would that be the right time that that's pretty metal question mark I think that that was I think that's pretty metal yeah

okay just just like their bed frames I'll give me that ha ha ha coping with humor everyone let's go ha ha

something that I was just realized we've missed, which is sort of technically top of the list because it's the guys who lead the war bands. But we were sort of talking about the occupation of hell and the like. There's heretic priests as well. They have their own version of priests. Because you know, you've got to have, you've got to have your own version of a priest. Now, they're described as fallen priests, but I don't know whether that means that they used to be priests in the church who defected to serve hell or whether they are just, like, It's a categorization of, well, you've got your normal faithful priests,

therefore the hell version would be a fallen priest. I'm not entirely sure on that. But they get magic. They get actual proper goetic spells. And they learn the profane gospels, which when they speak them aloud, it causes the faithful to have a couple of side effects. Like their ears bleeding or their eyeballs bursting out of their face. Nice.

Nice. Love that. As they do. They look really sick, though. Yeah, they're awesome. So the goetic spell stuff is interesting because I need to double check the pronunciation of this. So Goatia, that's it. Goetia?

Yeah. It's sorcery that is related to the usage of grimaud. And this is stuff that goes back. years and years and years. The term like the term Grimwar comes from Europe, but there's a history of them going back to like ancient Mesopotamia and like ancient Egyptians employing magical practices, including incantations and the like.

So it's something that has been around for years and years and years. And when Christianity spread, things like Grimwars and their usage, was not that uncommon, but then it became more and more frowned on, then it became like, this is heretical. And timeline-wise, Goetia in the real world was revived by people like Alistair Crowley. So it's, again, it's one of those, like, interesting,

interesting, like deep-cut historical, religious references brought into the game and made a definite thing that just happened. that just works. It's an entire school of magic that was kind of technically practiced in the real world, but fell out of favor, but he's now,

now it's heretic priests causing people's eyes to explode, using it, so. Fell out of favor. Love that. Yeah, it just wasn't as big as it used to be, you know?

Like, it's just, he just doesn't have the same vibe. I suppose that's um, disselling it a little. bit, isn't it? When it's Christianity going, no, you're not allowed. I guess

it's technically not falling out of favor. It's less just being told, don't do this thing. It'll be in trouble. It's being told, knock it off. Yes. Grim warrants are on the banned book list. You just couldn't get any decent reading material, could you? I mean, they are definitely burning

books. Oh, 100%. There's no way in hell they're not burning. And I mean that very literally. There is no way in hell they are not burning books. Absolutely. Nice. That's actually pretty good.

I'm going to give that a plus two. That's fair plus two. Thank you. Thank you. I will take the plus two and I will add it to the amount of demonic hymns I will sing to ruin the lives of the faithful. What a world. It's a hobby, isn't it? It's a hobby.

It's a living. I don't know it's kind of a dead whatever go ahead go ahead it's a great on death though isn't it doing what you love burning people apparently

so that we have we've got to bring her up quickly because you can't have a conversation about heretic forces without talking about the artillery witch because she's the best unit a girl so good

so just as a refresher we've talked about it before I think she's come up like in the previous two episodes, even though the second one, there was no reason for it to come up at all anyway. But the fact is, Arturia, which is a badass,

they are mute constructs, which it's said that they're constructs. Interestingly, the rules seem to just confirm that they're constructs. So in the law, people aren't sure in the rules, it looks like there's something that just indicates they are like a manufactured being of hell. And their special power is they can summon an infinite number of bombs.

and I will say that every single time, the infinite number part, because it's important, from a factory in the third circle of hell, and then they throw them at people, and that's the artillery which. It's just, it is the infinite number.

Think fast. That is, that is the most important part. Out of everything going on in the situation involving this singular model, it is the fact that it is a pulling a megaton bomb out of hell, she everything about her is correct and then there's the bomb and it's so funny yeah i really love her drip though i love the um specifically the mask that they wear looks so cool sort of like the the faceless mask

with the horns and like all the gold inlaying on it looks so dope one of the best designs and one of the funniest units just just just teleporting in bombs you know In a world where in the artwork, there's aircraft. We've now had the moving fortress of Britannia confirmed, which is hilarious. Like, there's so much stuff that is technologically advanced. And then there's, there's this, a witch that just throws bombs every time. And it's a specific factory as well. Like they specify in the third circle of hell.

That's the circle where all the bombs are made, right? Now is it specifically for her or do they do general supply? I don't know and I don't care. It's brilliant. Is there any, is it just a artillery witch? Or are there like multiple artillery witches? Okay, okay. Yeah, I'm not, I don't know that there's a specific number, but there's quite a few.

Yeah. Just because I was thinking that would also make a really sick just like unique, general unit. It's just, hey, that's the witch that has a factory that makes her infinite number of bombs. But it's just the one witch. Yeah, just the one witch. And it's like, she just shows up. It's like, oh, why here? There's only one. Why is it here? I don't want this here. We leave. I don't like this. No, there's just one. Retreat. Let's go. She's going to start flinging megaton bombs. We lost. Let's just get out of here. I have to, I have to ask, just because this is a constant thing I'm noticing across the board. You've got the dude with the runes in his head, screaming hymns in his severed hand.

You've got the artillery witch, which like, that does not appear to be a helmet. That appears to be like some kind of grafted whatever is on her face. How do the, do the soldiers of hell need to eat? So I, from what I understand, the caristers are basically undead. Like they, they die. They're gone for nine days. then they come back. The artillery witches being constructs,

I don't think they need anything in the way of sustenance. But you're like, you regular dudes, you priests, your heretic, your heretic troopers, your anointed, the wretched, they all need food. Like they all need to just do what everyone else does. They are still effectively normal mortals, kind of. I mean, the anointed, you know, you've got their,

They're bigger and stronger and the like, but they're still effectively a human. But yeah, the immortal guys, they've got to eat. But things like artillery witches, the war wolf assault beast, those are like constructs. So they don't have that sort of requirement. And the caristers are basically dead anyway. Okay. I wasn't sure if there was like a weird situation where they had some kind of like particular type of sustenance directly from hell. or if they just ate the slaves

that they occasionally had a, like, if the hymn guy has to stop like singing so that he could just eat out of his severed head or if they were just like... I love that as a way to shut him up, just shove a ramshin in his mouth. I don't know. He just gently floats his head in a bowl of soup and...

Yeah. I don't know. I mean, it could be as silly as like real world things. Like, like, you know, they could like photosynthesize like mushrooms. that's an option. I don't know, man. It's just all kinds of options there.

So it was the thing I was looking at, the face, and I was like, okay, well, if they're going to eat or just hell just feed them. Anyway. Teleport in an infinite number of chocolate bars and from a factory in the Viking Ninth circle of hell. Demonic Willy Wonka factories down there

just making tasty treats for the artillery witch. Yeah. Or perhaps, well, it's hell. It has to be a Mars bar. Well, all right. Nice. Yeah, as Shai says it, like, the hell-occupied areas are, like, very heavily industrialized. So they're probably making Mountain Dew and Doritos for the boys.

That's, yeah. Hell yeah. So we've also got the heretic death commandos, which we have mentioned before. But there's, there's like a little bit of extra information on these, which I really like. So it's time, it's time for the magic word. Child soldiers. We hadn't had any so far, but obviously, you know. Yes, that's my shit.

The Frost Punk player has arrived, everyone. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Get to the mines, kids. Yeah. Get down there. You needed. So they are, they're child soldiers. They're sent beyond the gates of hell to be raised as assassins.

And the law primer does reference select groups. groups of like heretic youth and of the ones that are sent, funnily enough, hardly any of them are chosen, even few of them come back. But they stay in the seventh circle of hell and they're taught how to fight and kill by the souls of the greatest killers and murderers who now reside in hell, which in my opinion, that's cheating. Hell is going to get all of the best murderers and killers. Like heaven's not going to have any, are they? Every great serial killer, every this, that, and the earth thing, they're all going to go down to hell. So they're going to be the best trained.

Yeah, it's the Oxford of serial killers, right? Yeah. They literally have access to the, like, I was going to say, the best of the profession, but being a murderer and a killer isn't really a profession. But, like, you get what I mean. That, to me, that's a distinct advantage. But then again, it kind of makes sense that they utilize that because they need. They need some proper assassins. So this lot, they're taught by the personal guard of the archdevil Belleth,

and their weapons are fantastic. So we've got Tartarus claws. They are placed in the waters of the river sticks, which makes them insanely poisonous. They have stealth generators, which diffract light, and they use the heart of an innocent and various infernal technologies that are super mysterious that hide them from the eyes of God. And if that isn't enough, and this is my favorite detail for this lot, they also have a silenced pistol.

Well, of course. Well, they don't want to make too much noise. Yeah, when trying to hide from the eyes of God, you need a good silencer, of course, of course. I just, I love the extra detail of that. Mythological weapons bathed in the river sticks, a stealth generator. They can hide from God and they've got a silenced pistol. Like, it makes sense They got a burrata

USB 45 Silence tack knife Commando pro It's too much God down there man They do They take no fall damage Mm-hmm

It really feels like In the same vein As the artillery witch again It's like here's this mysterious construct She also throws bombs It's like here's this insane assassin He's also got a silenced pistol It's just great

So we also do know who the master death commandos are. And funnily enough, they've got some big names, right? One of them, Kane. Quite well known for murdering his brother. Makes a lot of sense. We've also got Barabbas, which I found interesting, and I ended up doing a bit of Wikipediaing,

because I couldn't remember. It kind of depends on which gospels you read as to whether Barabbas was just a dude, a notorious prisoner. So Matthew says notorious prisoner, but in Mark and Luke's Gospels, he's actually described as a murderer who is involved in riots against the Romans. And that's the guy who got pardoned instead of Jesus when they were brought before Pontius Pilate and he did his traditional thing of, I will spare a prisoner, whoever you say gets to go free,

and everyone went for the apparent murderer involved in riots against the Romans. And then the final one is Haman, who is a significant figure in the book of Esther in the Hebrew Bible, who demanded that all Jews in the Persian Empire be exterminated, but Queen Esther stopped him and had him executed instead. So to varying degrees, three absolute wrongans heading up the Death Commando unit. Three absolute wrongens. That is a name for them 100%. Well, is wrongens? like a British slang I'm not familiar with.

For wrong ones. I didn't even really consider that. Yeah, like if someone's wronging, they're just, they're bad. They're evil, they're nasty. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I get the, I understand the concept, but I.

Yeah, so I don't really do you explain that, did I? I don't know. I kind of expected slang more on the lines of like absolute belland or something on that side of thing. All right, I'm learning. I guess that also applies. I was expecting absolute evil bastards, the worst of the worst.

And like wrong-ins, for some reason to me, is just like, oh, yeah, the kid accidentally spilled some paint. That's a wrongan. And it's like, they just wanted to kill all of the Jews.

And it's like, okay, that's a little more than just a little wronging. Right prick that one. Yeah. Oh, goodness gracious. What's the So I mean obviously the death commandos

I have to I don't know which At what point we're heading to this particular character But I want to know about the guy with the nipple tassels What Oh the The sin eater The sin eater, yes sir There is something else

There is something else Some might important They when they've completed their training They have their tongues ripped out so they get to communicate via hand signals. Because they get their tongues ripped out. Because? Have we talked about?

Because they do. This sounds vaguely familiar actually. Like this part specifically, have we discussed this in the previous? We have talked about the death commandos previously. Because they're the ones you try and interrupt the council of saints when that happened. Like they send them in to try and disrupt. the faithful. And they also

they also like killed three very important people all at the same time. So they're, they're pretty good. Right, right. Yes, all correct things.

I have not received an answer. Well, as to why their tongues get ripped out. Yes. Explanations, please. I don't know. Vives?

I don't know. Vives. Yeah, I mean, Oh, chapost. Oh, there we go. There we go. The tongues of the death commandos are ceremonial ripped out of the end of their training.

They will never speak of what they have learned. And they're, oh, gotcha. It's an act of silence. Got you. So even if they get captured, they can't, they can't tell any secrets. They can't tell how they were trained. They can't tell how to fight hell. They are just locked the fucking.

I mean, they don't want to tell anyone. Nothing. And I mean, it's always cool to have, like, like the silent, the silent evil dude, right? Mm-hmm. It's a classic trope, you know? It's a classic. Oh, yeah, and the, uh, the, the helmets being a particular shape is because the lower jaw

is potentially missing as well. So it's not just the tongue. Oh, I like to protect that part. I like to imagine it's, it's like a, you kind of grab the tongue, the lower part of the face and then they just sort of give it a good yang and then that's it job done seal it up never look at it again kind of reminds me a little bit of a um i mean it looks like a german war war two helmet i mean in just total honesty right like it's kind of got the crowd helmet type of a kind of angle but yeah the top section's got a bit of that yeah but losing the lower jaw makes them look

almost like like like almost like alien like like you know like a ridley scots alien I mean, that's... It looks like the top... Yeah. There. And the bottom looks like the mouth. You know? Yeah, they look properly creepy.

Shy. Hey, hey, Germans are the good guys in this one. That's true. Well, I guess so. My apologies. But, yeah, it kind of looks like alien. You know, like with the lower half of the mouth and the top, like smooth head, kind of does. Yeah, it kind of does.

You're not wrong. It does give... Yeah, I can... I can see it. I can see it. I'm kind of like baby xenomorph vibes, yeah. Also the way the, like, the armor is super angled at the front. It just makes it look really uncanny.

I know underneath probably they're not filling that out in that way. But it just, the more you look at them, the more they just don't look like they were people at any point. But I guess that makes it more fun to know that they were originally child, soldier yeah let's move on so the Sin Eater right Sin Eater's yeah yeah yeah it's a bit it's a bit hellish oh boy

All right that is a picture I'm gonna boss baby this one one more time The uh Karioth I'm sure you remember Those bastards at Games Workshop took away The nipple armor from our blood angels Yeah

Did you notice that the the Lord exultant model of the Emperor's children has his nipples and they are pierced? I mean, I think it was all the feedback from losing them off the blood angels. They were like, we can't, we can't get rid of them off the Empress children. They've got to have, they've got to have some. There it is. It's pierced.

And the first thing I saw with a sin eater was his two pierced nipple rings. And so maybe that says something about me. It sure does. But like, I think it's perfectly acceptable for me to immediately stare at that and not the mountain of other strange things. What, like the weird mouth that's going on, the gritted teeth mouth that looks like it's actually just their actual mouth, but they've got a big weird helmet covering the rest of their face. Like that, for instance. That, his, his like skull scrotum pouch there is quite something. Yep.

Yep. Yeah. His scrotus. Yeah. Oh yeah, it looks like Space Kings. It does actually look a bit like that. That Space King's animation. I totally see that shy.

Yeah, because of the big mouth. Yeah, I see that, I see that. So the Sin Eaters are, funnily enough, to do with, since it's Transc Crusade and Hell, absolutely horrible and all about corrupting influence. So this lot, believe it or not, that was a normal man or woman, but they got greedy, like extremely greedy, overwhelmingly greedy, and also have a slight issue with a hunger for human flesh, which, when combined with being near a Hellgate or the Hellgate,

just means that they turn into a disgusting creature that matches their inner desire and needs. So potentially they could have been someone who is starving, they could have been someone who really liked the finer things in life, or priests that wish to devour the sins of their congregation, and then eventually want to devour the bodies as well. They like swell into monstrous proportions. They're permanently, nearly about to basically explode from eating too much, but they still want more.

They still want to eat more people and eat more sins. They are just insatiable in terms of their gluttony. So this isn't necessarily like a bad, I don't want to say a bad gluttony, but you said if someone was just on the brink of starvation and were just so desperate for food and if they were close to a hellgate, they would turn into this thing, even though it was like, they're not a glutton. They're not necessarily inherently evil. It's just they're starving.

if you're close enough to a Hellgate and you desire food that badly that you need it, that badly you'll turn into one? Maybe some of them, but then some of them are just like, they really want to eat people. Oh, yeah, some of them just glutton his ass on this, yeah. Yeah. I think it's sort of a mix of a few. Oh, okay. That's kind of interesting, though.

Anyway, go ahead. You have something to read, D.K. Oh, D.K. read this. A priest in the small Bavarian town of Wormlock had a terrible secret. He didn't just take people's confessions. He delighted in them. savored them. The greater the sin, the more he enjoyed it. Eventually, he began extolling his flock to commit more grievous sins as a twisted means to expunge them, but secretly reveled in their

guilty confessions. The priest's perverse obsession kept him in the confessional booth night and day, and over the following months he grew unnaturally, horrendously fat, demanding the townsfolk keep him sated with near constant confessions of their sins. The townsfolk grew frightened, refusing to go into the church to face the disgusting priests and his litany of curses and demands. No one knows exactly what happened next, but a terrified county sheriff discovered the priest in the church, swollen to near bursting and slick with gore and bellowing hideous blasphemies, even as the sheriff and his deputies burn the church in the empty town. Yikes.

That is a dude who loved his job a bit too much. They say, you know, do what you love. you never work a day in your life. And though I must admit he's working hard. Yeah. That's, um, yeah,

that's a story. What a lad. What a lad? What an absolute unit. You know? Imagine hearing that tale and your first reaction is, man, what a lad.

I'm just, I'm taking him immediately with like the foot, the football hooligan guy who was like, who was like, who was like, who is like, come on, Lucifer, score some fucking goals. I'm just imagining him being this like enormous, enormous dude beating on his chest. It makes the sound of a gong.

He's eating more people. I don't know. Probably not too far off. It's just the fact that he's like, he's so big, you know? I do kind of love the idea of a priest that is just reveling. in taking people's confessions to the point where he's like forcing them to go do horrible things so they can like confess to him because he just loves it

and he just devours it and just that's kind of a cool concept though it is it's it's got a nice feeling of like almost like just betrayal oh absolutely absolutely not there to make people behave worse it's it's the antithesis of what he's meant to be doing yeah but in the end eat is just a massive dude shouting at people as they burn his church down because he's eaten all of his towns

like all the townsfolk like a lad apparently like a lot he ate brother he ate he's got like the snapping sleigh emotes you know

like damn he ate sure yeah like so I mean obviously in combat the dude comes up with this giant mall and beats people to death. But he's just like gorge on the remains then? Or? So I'm just looking at the law primer.

And I can't see his rules in here. It could just be me being blind. That's entirely possible. It's happened before. But if I remember correctly, he's like super heavy armored. He can smack people around because of the giant mace. for some reason in the back of my head I've got it that he can eat stuff but I'm not 100%

are the mercenaries that's why oh he's a mercenary yeah because he's one of the ones that's allowed to kind of move around into other war bands instead of being dedicated to like a single a single group. But like how?

He's heritage region, is he not? So he can be in, I think he's allowed to be in court and in heretic legions and in Black Grail, I think. As in the various devil worship. Yes, there he is. So yeah, he can be in all three of them. Oh, he can, it's devour the guilty is his ability, but then you can vomit it back up. Oh wow

That's insane You know Could he turn into a transport The sin eater attempts to purge a model Has devoured as an action If successful The models control or place the model Within one inch of the sin eater

The vomiting model is down The sin eater can only use this action If it has a model devoured So yeah I mean basically That's kind of cool I do like that That's great

I really like that The sin eater can only ever have one consumed model in its belly. How, what a lad, as they say. And then, yes, a tenderizer mall, two-handed hammer, huge reach, big smack, indeed. Also, it's just being called the tenderizer. Literally something you use for bashing meat just to make it, just to make it that bit nicer after cooking. And that's what he's got for his weapon. Love it.

It fits the theme. Great. Also, he can eat a friend or foe model. He's hungry. He's got to eat. I can't. Big lad's got to make this goddamn reference. I cannot believe we're about to make this reference.

He's very Tom Kinch coded. Eat opponent models to do damage and problems and carry friendly models to shield them from harm. Who's Tom Kentch? Oh, he's a legal legend's character. I wonder I had no clue He's a big demonic catfish But you can like eat enemy models To do damage and stuff

But you could also Eat friendly models And get like a movement speed bonus As kind of like carrying them with me Kind of thing, you know Okay so he's kind of a little Jeff coded for the Oh yeah look at that

Kids right? That's a great design No he he is a literally He's a southern talking catfish Who signs deals with those Who need travel Okay, okay, okay He's actually a pretty great design

Yeah, he's really fun Though I will say he does not have his nipples pierce And that brings him down at least two points He's not committed hard enough That's the problem He does have I do like the little hat I really like the little hat Yes, that's the little hat's fantastic

Also his main his main role was he has to like lick Which is like a basic attack enemies a few times to get an acquired taste and then he's like, I'm hungry, let's go. It's great. Oh, I like that actually, that you lick him a couple times and, okay, that's, yeah, that's pretty cool. He was a nightmare to balance that character, but he was very fun, and I liked him quite a lot. He was a good fun. Okay, okay, okay.

Anyway, a little of that coded, I will say. Okay. On a similar note of animal type characters, I don't know how to segue into this. This is the War Wolf Assault Beast, so I guess technically nothing alike. These are horrible, and I really like them. So there's not a huge amount of background for these currently, but it's effectively a construct, but made out of a captured and possessed creature.

And we know from the rules that wears a suit of Tartarus armor. They are hugely tanky. They also have these massive claws that can just shred people apart. But the most important thing, and my personal favorite item name of all time, he also has a chainsaw mouth. That's literally what it's called. That's what the actual thing is.

That's what his face is. He has a face that is just two chainsaws because, it's designed to charge through barbed wire and clear a path for heretic infantry. So the mouth goes over the barbed wire, chops it, and it just carries on running with all of the other guys, like, following behind. If you ever were like, I need you to describe from memory what, like, the werewolf assault beast would look like. This is pretty close. You know? Like I, this is pretty close to what I imagine.

Like, I see, what's that mean where it's like, I'm finally about to watch the thing. And I know I'm going to find a better name for this, than this creature. And it's like, damn, no, they were right. That really do be a thing. That's really the thing. Yep. And so that's my initial and immediate thought. It's just like, yeah, that really do be the werewolf assault beast.

Yeah. Yeah. Also, pretty on the nose. We're being a little fast and loose with the armor that it's, wearing a i mean it's got some plates stapled to its skin and a helmet and some greaves but um I don't if I call that armor

it's gone to the orc school of armor distribution definitely nail it on there it'd be fine I got the the World of Warcraft cataclysm like staple brand all the things to you nail them all in yeah it's a great look though

like it's a very like cool look it's just I don't know if I'd call that armor per se I call it armor gotta have the plate covering the the groin though you got to protect you gotta have to correct the net you got to guard that

the werewolf assault bees came from the same school of armor as the as the female world of warcraft characters that's true covers all the important areas and nothing but yeah who hell is that shy

smooth You got to make more assault wearwolf somehow, right? That's why you need the armor over the crotch. How else are they going to make more? You've got to just leave them to it and then, you know, train them up when they get older. So something that could be like a foundation for the war wolf is that they could be that they're a reference to reported attacks from rabid wolves during World War I. So in World War I there was roaming packs of wolves that were just forced into more populated areas of the German Empire due to the war and they caused chaos in villages like killing livestock and youths and attacking incapacitated soldiers and it got bad enough that the Russians and Germans agreed to a temporary ceasefire to take care of the wolves before they then started fighting each other again. So it could be that the war wolves are like a little kind of reference.

or alternate version of that, which would be really cool if that's the case. I'm going to say that's the case, just because I like the idea that that is a little nod to that. I'm choosing to believe it. Mm-hmm. Same. I like it enough that I think that should be.

If it's not the case, then it is now. I choose to believe that is the case, so you can't tell me otherwise. The end. Yeah. Moving right along. That's how that works. Mm-hmm.

God damn. I'm assuming the, I mean, the werewolf seems a little bit like, what's the word I'm looking for? Very straightforward. You know? It's just like, like, what is the word? It chuts the barbed wire and it runs and starts stabbing and clawing people to death. And like, that's the end of it.

We're not being funny here. Classic. It's just a straight up horrible thing to have to deal with. The fact that's coming from hell is almost like, it's almost like not coincidental, but it doesn't make that big a difference in how horrific that thing is just as a creature to begin with. Yeah, just very, very simple, runs in, makes it so everyone else can run in, and if you happen to be there at the time, it will instantly kill you, and that's the whole, that's the whole story.

so different to the Commando's silenced pistols and their tongues being ripped out and the witch throwing bombs You miss such a good opportunity to be like Yeah also the wolf carries a silenced pistol Okay someone needs to do that conversion right now I own the model I'm going to do it Why not? Also occasionally the sin eater has a special ability

to vomit up a silenced pistol Thank goodness That's so goofy It's so goofy The artillery witch shows up Everyone's terrified But it's okay Because this time

She is just going to shoot you With a silence pistol It's not as bad as the bomb This time around It's survivable The bomb is survivable If you get in a lead refrigerator Right

No yeah She has a silencer on her bomb Oh Yeah You guys ever see the tank silencer sir? No. Okay, I don't know if it's a real thing or not or if it's just like a meme, but I've seen this

image a million times and it always gets me because they put a gigantic inflatable penis on their tanks to silence the guns. No way that's real. There's no way. I mean, I think it's real, but like, I don't know like how much it helped. I mean, I'm assuming it's the kind of thing. We're like, oh, it will silence a tank in terms of something like you can only hear from five miles away, not 10.

But then at the same time, I also just see an image of this. And that one really just a laugh. That's what I thought it would be. I did not think it would be the giant inflatable silencer hole. Caca. Yeah, I didn't. That's the thing is, neither of those look real. I mean, second is not real.

That one is clearly a Photoshop job. Yeah. It's just so funny. Oh, it's a real thing. It was developed and used on training grounds near cities because the people there complained about the loud fire exercises. I was about to ask, why the fuck does a tank need a silencer in the first place?

Like, you're not going to sneak up on someone with a tank. Well, no. I'll be quiet now. I can totally get the idea of being like, all right, we're moving the things into position. And then, like, the base is this many miles away. And you can tend to hear from this far, but they're radio to hear.

from this distance and then blah blah blah this makes it lower i don't know something like that but i also can understand they just like don't want people to keep hearing the slamming sounds of the tank yeah the the training thing makes sense as to why they would yeah that then that that that's that's it's very nice of them it's very very courteous of them to actually go through that because people like hey tank shut the fuck trying to play the first time imagine moving to that city and then just one night or like one afternoon, it literally sounds like a war starting. Yeah, probably not. The first time you'd be terrified.

The second time would be like, oh, is this going to be regular? I reckon by the third time you're hearing artillery going off, like 2pm on a Saturday, you'd be like, this is not acceptable. I don't like this. Or imagine if they were doing a morning exercise and they're like, oh yeah, what happens if the war happens at 3 in the morning? And they're doing that at like 3, 4 in the morning and you're woken up by that? nah

hilariously when I would go camping in the Boy Scouts a lot I was I was very close near to Camp Pendleton and they would do like howitzer drills and stuff like that and so in the middle of the night I mean it wasn't very loud but you hear like a very like it just kind of sound thing in the background it was uh it was quite something I didn't really bug us or anything because I mean I was out camping and stuff but like Camp Pendleton was doing a lot of those things

occasionally when I drive down to your neck of the woods D.K. when I take that long stretch between Orange County and San Diego County, you get a little bit of like, you see like an Ospreer or like a, like a, some kind of like, I wouldn't necessarily call it an Apache, but it's like a similar looking plane or helicopter, kind of just like, rolling around, you know? Just moving down there, yep, yep, yep.

They used to have a bunch of like Chinooks always flying around there, isn't he? Is that the highway that has the, the reactor that looks like that every movie's like, oh, look, it's a pair of boobs. The Senate no free nuclear power plant, yes Mm-hmm, mm-hmm Every time I pass that, it's like, it's the boobs, look, it's the boobs!

I say that every time I'm like, we have passed the titties, comma, we have passed the tities. That's how I gauge how far from home I am on a road trip. Yeah, I mean, we're getting there, we're getting there. There's the boobs, man, we're on the home stretch. Yeah, I mean, it's the five. It's just the five freeway, man. It's easy. Anyway, yeah, I mean, are there any other?

heretic models that we should know about, Kiriath? There are, there are technically three variants that you can field,

but there's, there's quite a lot for them. What I'll do is I will just quickly show you a couple of examples. So we've got heretic,

naval raiding parties. They look fantastic, and they do what it says on the tin. They are naval raiding parties. So on ships, get off ships,

beat the shout of stuff, and then, and take all of their things. They are extremely brutal, which is pointed out in the law, which makes me wonder just how brutal they are, given that you'd have thought that all the other heretic lesions

would also be quite brutal, but they get specifically singled out for it. There's also the trench ghosts, which are mad. So sometimes... He has a silence pistol. No, he does. No, he doesn't.

It's a submachine gun. Damn it. That's just the machine gun. looks rad as hell, though. I'm so excited. They are horrible. So they, if they die on hallowed ground or in the presence of an uncorrupted holy relic, so like when a heretic trooper dies near those, they just get stuck.

They aren't claimed by heaven. They aren't claimed by hell. They are dead. But they end up becoming undead, attacking faithful and heretics equally. they just hate all life and they end up basically fighting a war of their very own obeying commands that

no one who's alive can hear He's a he's a barber He's a barb mansor He's a barb wire manser Yeah I'm a barber because of all the barb to wire I was like Okay plus two

He's got all this kind of crazy I like that he's just like well If I can't go to heaven or hell No one will I can't yeah You come in with me whether you like it or not. And the last variant is the Knights of Averis, which you can probably guess what they do just by the name.

They're all about greed, and they're all about just collecting all the best stuff, all the most expensive equipment, all the most rare equipment, just anything that is bright, shiny, worth a lot, or hard to come by, that's what they want. On their like rules for fielding them,

they have an actual kind of limit as to how little they can spend. You just can't buy cheap units for them because they want all the best stuff and they do not use fire or explosives. So you don't get an artillery witch because she chucks bombs. Or at least, no, sorry, I tell a lie. You can take the artillery witches, but they don't chuck the normal bombs.

Instead, they throw gas bombs because otherwise, you'd blow up all the cool loot and you can't have fire because otherwise you'd burn all the cool loot and they're not having that. They're all about looking good. Oh, is this the golden idol

that we talked about earlier? Oh, yeah, there's a golden calf in the background. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, this dude is dripped out. It's dripped. I mean, he makes, have the black void in his heart and everything,

but who needs a heart when you've got money? Right. He looks like he should be in, um, that destiny rate. Is it love... Uh, yeah, Leviathan. He looks like callus a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's got that. Well, I guess, I guess, uh, purple and gold have always been colors of like royalty,

right? Specifically purple. So, yeah, yeah. Also, I love the two people, uh, giving a sword to the calves, and they both just don't have heads. very on brand very on brand that's super cool looking i love that i have a quote from them uh you sold your false redeemer to us for a mere 30 pieces of silver what makes you think your own price will be any higher true good quote i like this guy i kind of want to kind of want to make a whole third faction out of this just like all the the guys underneath the avarice folks just a pure pure thing of like we're here

Man, screw heaven or hell, we're here to make money. We're going to make money. And so a bunch of crustaceans as Mr. Crabs. Yeah, their thing is literally that the heretics of the path of man and hoarding riches is not mere acquisition of wealth. It's their religious compulsion. They've got to do it. They have no choice. That's great.

Love that. And those are the variants for the Heretic Legions. and with that we've covered pretty much all of it at this point and then next time we do trench crusade if you want we can talk about the court of the seven-headed serpent because they are distinctly related because they're the ones who tell most of the heretic forces where to go, who to fight, they're in charge of the war effort

so the two are definitely like interlinked but the yeah the heretic legions all of you mortal guys or a good chunk of immortal guys how they get there and how absolutely horrendous all of them must be except for the wretches because let's be fair it's not their fault also you know quarter of seven heaven will be a great time for later

because surely nothing there could be any worse than the stuff that we've talked about today no no no definitely definitely not no look how pure they are from from the model range it's going to be rainbows sunshine and unicorns right there's wholesome episode

absolutely beautiful stuff well um i got i got to be honest with you all do you have any any other particular end bits to go along with or are we uh are we just going to to hop on the up on the board and and cut our heads off and start what would the him be i was i was just going to go get breakfast man i don't like that's my ending bit i'm i'm just going to go make Make some oatmeal, brother.

Like, maybe a little bit of no one. Like, Jesus. You're never going to get past the gates of hell with that attitude. You've got to commit hard than that. Yeah, yeah. I'm not going to go to the seventh circle of hell unless it hits at least $10,000. At least, we got to get at least $10,000. We got to get at least $10,000.

At least $10,000, yep. Call me again when the gates of hell lets you fly in the air for four minutes going into your pool. Excuse me. I need, after this episode's done, I need to get my banana face facial going. my banana peel facial. God, seven more Saratoga waters for my bowl.

Thank you. All right, hell yeah. I love hell!