Adeptus Ridiculous - Horus and the First Seeds of Heresy (Or Erebus Ruins Everything) | Origins of Warhammer 40k

Episode Date: January 20, 2021

https://www.patreon.com/AdeptusRidiculoushttps://www.adeptusridiculous.com/https://twitter.com/AdRidiculousWe return to our Warhammer 40000 lore podcast as Emperor of Mankind and Horus Lupercal are happily conquering the galaxy with a bunch of other Primarchs, reuniting humanity shattered by the Age of Strife. Everything is going great, until Emperor spanks one of his sons Lorgar for loving him too much buggers off back to Terra leaving his favorite son at the mercy of Erebus the Douche. Part 2 of our ongoing Horus Heresy series.Support the show

Welcome everyone to another episode of The Adeptus Ridiculous. I'm one of your host, D.K. Diamantes, and I am a Warhammer Greenhorn. I've been learning a bit week to week from my co-host, Bricky. I'm learning, man. I'm learning. The pieces are coming together. I don't know nothing anymore. Bricky, you have done a fantastic job of giving me some insight into this crazy, wacky Warhammer World. That's a lot

of W words, but Greenhorn? Yeah, I'm a greenhorn, man. Haven't you ever watched, what's that? Crab fishing show? All the newbies. Deadliest catch? My dude, they're greenhorns. All the new guys are greenhorns.

I love deadliest catch because those dudes are more manly than I'll ever be. They get hit with like a 40 pound hook in the head and they're like, ah, fuck, I got to lay down. for about a minute and then get back up to throw the hook back out those dudes

they're hit by a hundred foot wave and they're like that's nothing gentle breeze get back get back in there fling your hook around you're fine

you're fine I really like that show actually I would say the deadliest catch is if you catch our Patreon oh patreon.com

slash adept is ridiculous and I've been told this shout out things this time, you want to do it or should I do it? Oh, you do it. You do it. Okay, I want to meme on shy. Because shy is like, why aren't you shouting out the benefits? You got this benefits going on.

So you know what? If you want to join the Adeptus Ridiculous Patreon, you get awesome things like an exclusive Discord server, awesome behind the scenes content like bloopers and special art that we commission entirely for you patrons. And because of that, we've actually reached over seven. hondo, which means we are only three hondo, about 350, away from a thousand, which will end up throwing out weekly episodes. And we can record more because even with weekly episodes, when you really think about it, there's only like, what, 52 weeks in a year. So we will have plenty, plenty of content to be discussing.

The damn lockness monster, 350. Anyway, so we have a continuation. It's a South Park reference. Don't worry, because, you know, the damn lockedest monster is always wants $3.50 from chef's dad, you know? Oh, I don't think. I haven't seen that much South Park. I'm sorry. Look, man, the cool kids will get it, all right?

The cool kids, they'll understand. They'll post memes on Twitter. We're talking to Warhammer fans, man. None of us are cool kids. We're all cool kids now. It's fine. Don't worry. But so today is a.

a continuation on last time. I think last time we ended with the emperor's kids getting yeated out into space. And now he's going to look for him, yes? Yes, yes, it is the time for the Great Crusade. All the primarks have been yeated. The emperor is now, he has reformed the human like people after a bunch of Mad Max ass people got all fucked up. And then he has signed his pact with the Adidas Mechanicus.

And they have created the Imperial Navy. And you got the Imperial Guard. And now it's time for him to go on out and find all of his boys. Get his boys back. And more so, it's more than just getting his boys back. But like, as he's going, he's establishing colonies and all the other planets. He's also kind of like, hey, I got to do what I did at Earth and get you guys working up again and all better. That's what we're discussing today.

And this will be the prelude to the Horace heresy, which, oh, you, man. So the Horace Heresy is like an 11 book series, and I can only do such so well with it. But we'll get to that when we get to that. I will have a big disclaimer before that episode because I'm going to have to skip out of a lot of details. It's crazy. When I first started getting into this, everyone's like, Oh, dude, if you're going to get into Warhammer lore, you got to read the Horace heresy. You got to find out what happened there.

And I'm like, okay, cool. Let me go check it out. And I went on like Amazon. I was like, okay, where do I buy these books? And it's like, oh, there's only 11 of them. And they're all like three million pages. And I was like, oh, my God. Is there a Cliff Notes version of this?

This is the Cliff Notes. We're listening to the Cliff Notes. Yeah. So when we come to this episode, a lot of people, because this is probably going to end with like how they're slowly turning to chaos. Now, a lot of times we meme and we're like, oh, well, it's all Magnus's fault, right? And then it's like, oh, well, it's all, well, that's one thing. There's also the Magnus is nothing wrong.

We'll talk about that next episode. Oh. But then there's also the, it's all Lorgar's fault. But then you get to the, it's all Arabis's fault. And there's all these, like, whose fault it is. At this point, if you keep doing this so much, it's kind of like the idea where it's like, well, I mean, honestly, like, yeah, Hitler was bad, but his mom birthed him. So in reality, it's really her fault.

And then her mother, but it's like you can't, you can't, you can't go that far deep. You know, you can't go back. It's like that little kid who's constantly saying why. Like, why, but why? It's like, you got to stop him at some point. Eventually the, eventually the answer is shut up, child. So, okay. Anyway, let's begin.

The Great Crusade. So as we remember from last time, we went all Mad Max. The emperor has created the prototype of Staris, fixed the world of the Mad Max problem, and then using himself and his fancy-pancy custodian guard, which we'll have an episode on probably in the far future, killed them all off, right? Yeah.

Then the ad mech became a thing. And then, yeah, in a pretty fucking horrible display of, betrayal there M's B'emps. Oh yeah. I was just going back to the last episode I was like oh I thought the Thunder Warriors did

something wrong and it was like nope the emperor was just scared and he was just boop here's a knife in your back and I was like oh cool like a sim tar or whatever the hell he stuck because they're very big boys yeah that's true it'd be hard to stab one in the back it'd be like pricking him in the heel

I guess but anyway yeah sure giving him a flu shot But as time has gone on, wait, so the ad mech eventually created their own group, right? And basically, like, the emperor started creating his normal prototype of Staris now. He's making his Astardis legions, his big space marine legions, using the genetics of the primarks that he, you know, obviously still has, but, you know, the primarks themselves aren't there. And as he was building it, like, could he have taken over Mars? Absolutely. would he have lost enormous casualties

and huge issues combined with all of the space marines? Of course. So in reality, it kind of came down to the idea of like, okay, these ad mech boys, I don't like how they cut their arms off and replace them with robot arms. I don't like their weird religious cultness, but they have a million forges.

They've got tanks galore, ships bolt galore. I'm going to become friends with them. And the Mechanicus truly looking at him And they're like, oh my God, he's so smart and his technological skills are so impressive. He must be like a prophet of the Omnisiah or like a descendant or some people might even think he is the Omnisiah. And, you know, they believe in the Amnestai. It's a little hard to see where the Admec can believe the emperor is. Because they don't really worship him as such like a god, but he might be like an avatar of the machine god.

It's weird. I don't know if it's like how some religions have like the saint or. the prophets or whatever. Point being, they're buds now. That's pretty impressive. Like, for the ad mech to have that much of a force that even the emperor's like, I mean, I could, but, ooh, let's not. Like, I don't really feel like tangling with them.

I could, but oof. That's a big deal. It's weird because, like, ad mech and their own right are kind of squishy. Because, like, even though they have a bunch of metal bodies and stuff, they rely on force fields. and like little tangerial bits. But the admec themselves, it's more just that their guns.

They have Titan legions and knights and giant warships. Like they just really are hurt. In fact, ironically, if you ask somebody what the best shooting army in the game is right now, the actual tabletop game is probably Admec. They're, they just, oh my God, the amount of damage they put out. It's pretty nuts. But anyway. Every mini I see of them is just like, hey, look, I've got seven.

several mega cannons on me and it's like, oh, cool, dude. Every tentacle has a gun on it. It's so cute. So the next thing was the, you know, the warp storm, Sletesh was burst and the warp storm's all settled. And now they can do interstellar travel again. So they headed their way out to go find people and to expand their empire. They went to all of those planets that were cut off prior.

Sometimes, interestingly enough, some planets were so good that they actually survived. They kept their thing going. They kept surviving for 5,000 years. And when they arrived, they rejoiced parades, feasts. The emperor arrived as the Staris arrived, and things were great. I'm assuming every planet was not so fortunate. Sometimes they would get to a planet, and it was just bones. Sometimes they get to a planet, and it was so radioactive that they just couldn't land on it,

because they nuked themselves to oblivion. Oh, boy, that sounds like ad mecs were... Or the death cores work. Or the death cores, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it depends on the planet. Definitely, it was a rare sight to have the planet be totally okay. Sometimes they were in... You got to run into way more bones and radiation than you do happy to see you parades.

And not just that, but also more of those techno-barbarians. You'd find a couple insane Mad Max level ones where they had to subjugate or exterminate. Right, right. So you had some of those. But as time went on. As the emperor made his way out, he was finally reunited with his first son in the mining world of Cothonia, which you probably will never hear about again because I don't really care. That's the only thing of note that happened there. Yeah, it's whatever.

He found his first son by the name of Horace. Ah, the boy. The boy, Horace Lupercall. Horace, one of the things that makes the Horace heresy so sad. is Horace, as the first of the found sons, he and the emperor grew really close. They truly had a very unique bond of like a fatherly love and friendship.

Horace legitimately loved the emperor. After this time as they kept on going to find new people and stuff, Horace and the emperor like tag team fought and saved each other's life consistently. Oh. And Horace was also really nice. Nice.

Like, Horace is consistently referred to as the nicest primark. He is, he is the most persuasive. He has a genuine care for his brothers. He, like, he, he obviously, as time went on, as Emperor found more guys. He secretly still wanted to be the emperor's favorite because, you know, he wanted to be. But sure, you always want that spotlight. Yeah, he really liked his brothers. He truly, you ever meet that kind of guy when you start telling them a story that you think

they might not care about, but they look legitimately interested in it and they actually want to know more. He's like that with everything. He's constantly, like, actually cares. Huh. It's very impressive. In my head, for some reason, I thought that Horace was always kind of like

shady and shifty and manipulative, but he's a good guy at this point. Like, he's not, there's nothing shady. He's not, like, plotting world domination or the, you know, overthrowing the emperor or anything. He's just, he's just cool guy horace

he he is arguably the most lawful good prime arc of all of them oh wow he he might literally be the goodest of the boys like oh like he's it's kind of hard to which is why the fall is so like engaging yeah um but no i truly believe that he is the nicest the kindest and well yes he is manipulative or he can be because he's so persuasive and and uh such a good speaker that he's not manipulative now, he'll become manipulative later. But at the moment, he's just caring. Okay, cool.

I didn't realize that. Didn't realize he had saved the emperor's life at one point. They saved each other's lives often. They were like tag teaming in fights. It's pretty impressive. Yeah, that's, I mean, emperor is pretty strong dude. You know, that's, well, primarks are just many emperors, you know, so when you think about it. That's true.

That's true. They've got the same. Yeah, this. Okay, got you. So he was given command of the, I think it's the 16th Space Marine Legion. There's 20 total. The 16th Legion, which was the Luna Wolves, which actually pretty fucking cool. The old Lul's, yeah, they're super neat.

I actually really like the old Luna Wolves. They had a pretty interesting color scheme. They're like black and white with like a big wolf head. Kind of humorous because the space wolves are a thing now, but, you know. Oh, yeah, that's, I was going to say it's kind of weird to have so many wolves, but it's like, oh, I guess the emperor really loves his, you know, Furry legions, but whatever. Yeah, he's guys' his own thing.

So remember that thing I told you before, the imperial truth? The concept that like, it's humanity's destiny to rule the stars, right? It's very like industrial, nationalist, imperialist expansionist kind of feel to it. Okay. But that's the idea. The philosophy he has is that this is our divine right. Well, actually divine right is wrong because he didn't believe in religious. religion. But, you know, it was

true. It was their right. So after 30 more years, he found on the frozen world of Fenris, he found the Wolf King Lehman Russ. And then after that, he found Alferius of the Alpha Legion, Rogel Doan, Lionel Johnson,

Magnus the Red on Prospero, Lorgar of the word bears, on Colchus, Angron, Per Tarabo, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And eventually his time went out, he just found, he found all the boys. He found all the boys. The boys are back. The boys are back in town.

And during this period of time, oh, go ahead. Oh, I was just going to ask. So the only one that the emperor, like, really loves, though, is Horace. Like, the other ones, he's like, cool, you're back, but Horace is the one? Not quite. Okay, so it's not the fact that he doesn't love the rest of his sons, because he probably does. The problem is that it's just like, I don't

know, you're firstborn, you know? Like, obviously this isn't definitely his first born, but it's the first he found. Right. There's a certain, like, a little bit of a difference, and as he never had kids, because he's like 10 feet tall, man. Like, I don't know how that would work. Wow, that's a big boy.

Yeah, like, I don't know how he would do that. Like, when you think about it, it's just some of the, yeah, yeah. So it's more like, he's the firstborn, so he obviously has, he's just a little more special. Like anybody that has siblings, like, oh, yeah, the, the oldest sibling is always the one that dad loves the most. He loves all of us equally, or so he says, but obviously the firstborn has a little bit,

he's a little more special because he's, he's, you know, he's always going to be your little baby. Yeah, absolutely. And while he's not, he's not necessarily the first born, because they were all built at the same time in a lab, but yeah, it was the first one he's found. Right, right, right, got you. Exactly. So, yeah, that's, uh, that's pretty, uh, pretty, pretty, um, pretty.

big important part of that to kind of show that bond that arrived in there. So now I want to talk about another really interesting character real quick called Malcador. Malcador the Sigelite. What a name. What a name, right?

So Malcador, this is an interesting guy. I think we should have a whole episode on him because I love him as a character. I think he's super interesting and pretty sad. but he is arguably the emperor's closest friend his best bro

and he is a pretty much a normal human but he's an extraordinarily powerful psycher so and he's a scholar that makes sense sure so he's like a scholar he's intelligent he's uh he's just a smart son of a bitch and he's also uh uh i think i'm probably sure shy will post this in the video form of this, but she posted a picture in the

in the chat. That's the little man right there. He's just kind of a robed figure with a torch. He's a powerful psycher. He looks shady as fuck. He's super shady looking, but he's actually a great guy. I was going to say he looks like in every Disney movie, there's the good king and then there's the evil

advisor. He looks like the evil advisor that's going to fuck everything up. Well, the emperor isn't the greatest of guys, so you could argue he's evil, but in reality, no. Malka is actually quite good. Now, being an extremely powerful psycher,

he was, because psychics, there's lots of things you could do as a psycher between, like, mess with people, but, like, you can, like, read minds and shit like that. You can do lots of crazy shit if you're good enough psycher. Of course, a lot of psychers, like, lower level ones, are, they

look like they have schizophrenia. They're constantly freaking out and, like, clawing at themselves because they can't really handle it. Like, like, low-level imperial guards psychers are constantly like, they're all freaked out and shit. They're really weird. Yeah, that sounds a little freaky.

Yeah, they're one of the screaming. They're the screaming ones. I watched an old Sam O'Nella video lately. It's like, oh, if I go full skits, so I hope I'm one of the laughy ones, not one of the screaming ones. Me too. Yeah, I don't want to be one of the screaming ones either.

I want to be one of the laughy, happy, happy go fun guys. Yeah. Oh, man, that sucks. Yeah, that's not great. a psycher is not always fun. Malaclador, however, he's totally fine. Smart man. Um, he was actually the main, I think he's actually the main grandmaster of the officio assassinorum. And he, he created it, which is the assassin temples. Okay. I was going to say, but judging by the name, that sounds like just a shitload of assassins. It is. There are four, uh, no, six separate

assassin temples. You can run four of them in game. We'll have an episode on those. They're, they're cool. They're, they're, they're, really cool. That's a cool name, man. There are a lot of cool names in this episode, though. Yeah, there are. There's a, we'll get, there's some pretty crazy bullshit, but we'll get there. Um, so, Malkador, a little hard to talk too much about him, but honest to God, malcador was the closest advisor, uh, to the emperor. He is a close friend. He goes to him often. Emperor's like, I don't know what the hell to do, man. And the Alcador's like, well, Big Emps, let me tell you my wisdom.

And I think that it truly, you should, he's very, very, like, smart. Very fucking smart. In fact, he's quite resilient, even as a normal, normal man. Like, he once got backhanded by Lorgar. The Primark Lorgar, which threw him 20 meters into the air. But he lived and was able to regain his footing, even though he suffered several broken bones.

But he was able to pick a staff up and, like, stand up still. And, uh... Jesus, that's a hell of a backhand. I mean, I get it. There, it's a prime mark, but good God. And it hadn't his head not just come clean off. Well, it was just a backhand. It wasn't like a full punch.

That's fair, true. But it still sent him how far into the air? 20 meters. Jesus, great. I mean, he's tougher than, the average human, but he is still just, he's not genetically upgraded, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's nuts. We'll talk more about him eventually, but I wanted to mention him because Malcador is a pretty important character, and he's been utilizing the assassins to kind of help

deal with all those problems and, and help mess with, like, the techno-barbarian areas and stuff, but he's pretty important when we'll talk about the Horace Heresy, but being such an incredibly powerful psycher. He's able to assist him in, you know, different kinds of like foresight and figure out different kinds of the, mainly talking about the ruinous powers and help stave off some of that kind of stuff, which goes into a very important part of the Emperor's crusade and the new imperial truth that he did.

And this arguably might be, if you had to point to a reason of why the horse heresy happened and the Emperor's dingusness, this might be the reason. the emperor believed that in order to stop, because he understood the powers of chaos. He understood it completely because he, you know, he's the emperor. He's an extremely powerful psyker. He understands what chaos can do.

So he believes that by having zero religion and by outlawing it, no one can therefore worship chaos because worship is outlawed. Oh, okay. And in that sense, therefore, the idea is that if you can't worship anything and you can't worship the chaos gods, they'll cease to exist because they have no worship. They have no conduit. Couldn't he just outlaw worship of chaos gods instead of outlawing worship of everything? Well, he believes that the worship, the issue comes down to what if you worship a god and you understand.

unknowingly are worshipping a chaos god. Oh, that's fair. I hadn't even thought, okay. That makes sense. There's a slight problem with his methodology, though. By doing this, he didn't tell anyone that chaos existed, including all of his sons. None of them even know new chaos even fucking existed.

He didn't tell any of them. You didn't tell any of them. Oh, no. He's like, so, like. As long as you don't know, then you'll never have a problem. But he didn't, this is easily his biggest folly. Because in reality, lack of worship does not ruin the chaos gods. Not worshipping something other than the chaos gods is actually where you can drain their power.

And so he had it backwards. Oh, boy. So he made a big boo-boo. He made a huge boo-bo. He made a huge Huge fucking boo-boo. This is also where the This is a big part of like the Magnus plotline too, right?

I think. Because that's one of the few codexes I have is for the thousand sons. And I was just, I know, I know this is going to be a recurring theme. So that is a actually, yes, we're actually about to talk about that. So good old,

good old emperor is like, hey, oh here's a perfect one. The idea is EMP's thought that's saying, hey, gods are real. And if you pray to them, they will give you powers and make you immortal and send you sexy demon ladies.

Now, don't do that. Okay? Which makes sense. Like, don't tell them that these gods of power exist. Yeah, yeah. But at the same time, it's like, it's hard.

It's like telling your kid that, like, not to do drugs. Right? Yeah. Like, okay, you could do weed or something and it makes you feel all fun and loose and yada yada, but don't do that because it's bad or, I don't, I mean, weed's a bad example. But you get the point, right? It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, yeah, but my bad. Wrong one. Heroin. We'll go with that one. Don't do heroin. Man, we went from one extreme to the other. Don't do heroin, Lord Gar. Yeah. Yeah. So also, just as an aside for research, which one of these chaos gods sends you sexy demonly? Oh, so Nash, of course. Except they're also like half, they're like men, they're both. Hey man, I don't judge, you do your thing. I didn't, I'm just inquiring Greenhorn wants to know, just for research purposes only. Research purposes.

God damn. Okay, so, as time goes on, and as things like kind of move on and he brings his sons back and all, so that was a big problem. And now things started getting a little bit rough As his, because all of his legions, you know, they're all different people And because of that, they all act, it's like trying to tell all 20 of your sons not to act out The night lords and the world eaters two different legions They started becoming a little infamous for

Terrorism and like heavy amounts of murder Oh, God. I mean, I wasn't quite expecting all that. I was like, oh, yeah, they became infamous. They, you know, they were little mean-spirited. They weren't really following dad's rules. I wasn't expecting terrorism and murder infamy. They're like every Primark's job was to go out and get more worlds for the Imperium, right?

Just to get more worlds. Their methods were rough. Gotcha. Quite rough. I can see in the war. Hammer world where if EMS is just like, hey, guys, we need more world. Go and go and do my work. How it could maybe, some people could maybe take that a little far and be like,

whoops. Murdered a few million people. Got the world, though. Yeah. Yeah, that's, uh, that fucking hell. It truly, it truly ended up becoming a problem. And they, like the night lords are bad people. they're not nice people

the thousand sons though again cool names night lords and the world eaters yeah yeah dope names dude the thousand sons they in their large pursuit of knowledge

started using that to go into the form of sorcery which they did not realize was through the temptations secretly given to them by Zich so Magnus started dabbling in the psychic which was something that

again someone didn't tell him and so he started fucking around with psychic sorcery and powers and Magnus was becoming a real knowledgeable nerd and really learning which you know was actually Zinj being like, here you go, here's

some powers kid, he'd go yeah, he was playing with his strings. Try this shit out, man. Let's see how it's see how it go. Then bad parenting. Bad parenting. So bad parenting. Now with all this I want to talk about

Lorgar because Lorgar, if I honestly had to pick. If you forced me to be like, whose fault was it all, I might argue Lorgar. Well, I guess maybe the emperor. The emperor is his handling of Lorgar, I suppose. So Lorgar was the prime mark of the word bearers. And he went to this wonderful planet. And, oh, God, Lorgar went to this fancy-pancy planet.

And it turned out that people on that planet were quite religious. In fact, the people that he, the planet he was on, worshipped chaos. Oh. Now, they worshipped chaos under much more benevolent ideas. They looked much more like holy and godlike, but they worship the four gods. Now, for a while, Lorgar was like a, he's like a young kid indoctrinated into a faith in the modern day. He's very much just kind of raised up in this super religious. area, but he himself kind of

had his own idea of the religion. He didn't believe in the four gods. He believed in the one, the singular god, that, you know, if there are these four gods, then there must be the one of the gods, right? Like, a version of these gods. For this, he was abused

relentlessly. He was beaten and he was locked in, like, closets for all that's crap, I don't know. Lots of, like, lots of shit that you'd expect someone in this day and age who were finesse. religious to do to their kids if they didn't believe in it. But he he kept that faith.

He kept that idea for so long. And as time kind of went on, he got lots of people devoted to his idea and his concept of the one. There's also this guy named Corferon, I think is his name, Farion. Basically, it was like his quote unquote, like father slash religious tutor. He still believed, Corferon. He still believed in the four gods, but he was like kind of accepting that there was a one god as well.

Basically, they kept on growing this idea of the one. And then this big golden guy named the emperor shows up, standing like 10 feet tall, clad in shining golden armor to rescue lore guard. He was like, I found him. Oh. That's the one. He thinks the emperor is the one. Oh, okay.

He is the god. singular god. Hence why his legion is called the word bearers, bearers of the emperor's word. He truly believes the emperor to be a god. He is the god emperor. And every time the emperor was like, hey,

don't believe in me. Like, hey, I might be like an insanely powerful cyker, 12 feet tall, live for completely immortal and leading like a million legionnaires of Astari's, but don't worship me as a god, all right? Like, Lord I was like, yeah, whatever, whatever, God.

Whatever you say God. Yeah, whatever God. God's like, I'm not God. Okay, God. Yeah, whatever God, loser. Oh, boy, I can see this causing problems, though. It absolutely does. This already seems like it's a,

hmm, the snowball has been pushed down the hill. Yes. Now, there's this other guy, I want to talk about him real quick. There's a guy called Arabis, or some people call him Erebus. I talked, I'll do it. Arabis sounds way cooler. Arabis does sound cooler. I told you this before in,

in the last, or before we started this podcast, I was like, you know that guy in Avengers Civil War? I think his name was like Zimo or Zibo or something like that. Who was basically like the little invisible hand pushing people around to make them fight each other. That's basically Aribus. I don't want to talk much about Arabis because I think that he really, Arabis is just an asshole. He's one of those people who just was raised as an asshole. He's just a bad guy.

there's just something evil about him at a young age he was manipulative and deceitful and he would do horrible immoral acts like if I recall he was that kind of kid who would find a bunch of like scorpions and start like stabbing them for fun and like crushing ants for fun

he's like that kind of kid oh he's so he's the kid that has like the magnifying glass and sun spots like a little bug yeah ironically his parents were like wow you're a horrible kid why can't you go be like Aribus over there.

His name wasn't actually... His name wasn't actually Aribus. He had a different name. And then he's like, okay, I'll be like Aribus. So he went to Aribus and he strangled him to death. And then took his identity. And then he became Arabis. That's the most warhammer thing I've ever.

And then he like left his village and became a priest. And you know where he became a priest at? This crazy place called Kalkis where fucking Lorgar was. Oh no Oh no This just keeps getting worse I know So so Arabis is like

Everyone in the Horace heresy is standing On a rickety cliff And Arabis is just the guy who gives them the tiniest push over That's why I'm not going to talk too much about him Because he's not like You could say he's a big deal But you could also say he's not a big deal And even without Arabis

They would still be in the situation they're in, you could argue that. But I do want to mention him, because I know if I don't mention him, someone's just going to get so angry at me be like, no, it wasn't Lorgar, it was Arabis. Did you forget about Arabis? Like, no, I didn't fucking forget about Arabis. It's just, he's not important enough in this situation. Talk to Luton if you want to talk about Arabis. Arabis sounds like a prick anyway, so fuck him. Yeah, he is a prick. So, Lorgar. So he's like, whatever God, right? Whatever, whatever God.

Now, I don't actually know if this happened before or after the emperor left. But I'm going to state this at the time being. At this point, all of the people are expanding. Everything's going around. And the emperor, you know, he's got all of his sons. He's got all of his guys are doing their own thing. And then at that point of time, he found an awesome invention discovery. He found this thing called the Golden Throne, which I think you know about right now.

You know about the Golden Throne, right? Vaguely, sure. It's what he's sitting on right now with a skeleton. That's why everybody calls him the corpse emperor, right? Exactly. He's on the Golden Throne. So there was an old piece of tech from back during the age of technology, back when we had like the AI were so insanely powerful that I truly honestly don't know how they won.

But there was a piece of tech during that period of time before the age of strife. And what it was was the emperor is a champion. for psychic energy. And what he could do by working with his golden throat is create his very own form of the Webway.

The Eldar Webway. Oh. And this is monumental. So if you have the Webway, that means, one, no need for warp travel. Which means you can just bypass it entirely

because warp is fucking scary, right? Yeah. And two, it's like instantaneously. Imagine you have a giant portal, the height of the space needle and like the width of two cities, and if you walk through it, you immediately, instantaneously come out of another likewise portal on the other side of the galaxy and a different planet. This is a big deal.

It's so handy. You just bypass everything. No travel time, no nothing. Just boop. You're just there. It's so freaking important. But he was, he was very scared. of interference because using all the psychic power might, you know, there's some people call chaos.

They might be like, hmm. And so he decided, all right, all my sons, good job, guys. I'm going to go back to Tara and I'm not going to tell you what I'm doing by. Ah, I know what the one. I know how this goes. Yep. I have that thousand sons codex. I know what happens.

Yep. We'll get to that next episode. Okay. He didn't tell them. He left them stranded. He was just like, all right, keep doing what you're doing. I'm out. And he just left.

He's like, where are you going, dad? I can't tell you it's a secret. Like, it's not important for you to know. Oh, man. More examples of worst parenting ever. Worst dad. You want to something crazy? I was looking this up when I was talking.

And I was looking at this. And I, there's a quote. There's a quote from fucking emperor that he specifically stated to Gilliman, the prime of the Ultramar Marines. and it's um

like it's hard to describe it but um he was taught it was something on the lines of like like I do not see you as my son I see you as like a creation

I see you as a tool to the means of an end oh he's he's besides except for Horace except for Horace except for Horace except for Horace

so every everything else the other ones aren't real they're more like he sees he sees him as like a wrench like he's like oh cool I made this really handy wrench and you're just a tool to help me do a thing and yeah pretty pretty much it's he's really not good to his sons he's a he's such a bad dad yeah he's I can I know I keep saying that but man he is so bad at this there's also a couple other things that he did that they didn't like.

For instance, he created the high lords. Well, I don't know the high lords at the time. But he created like a council on Terra, the officio assassinorum, like the Imperial Guard guys who run that, like the lawmakers. And none of them involved the space marines. They were all non-space marine based. And so his legions were pretty not happy with that because they just like conquered the galaxy for him. And then they're like, yeah, it's basically like you did everything you don't get a seat to the table. It's super, it's super harmful.

And that was all, it's so, it's so bad. It's so. Yeah, he's so bad at this. And what made it even worse is that he, in his stead, promoted his favorite son, Horace, to Warmaster, which is basically taking his place, which is a fine decision. But the other sons weren't so happy about that. They were quite upset. It's very upset

I would be too I think anybody in their situation would be I mean your dad basically said You're my favorite son the rest of you aren't And I want you to be the They got the promotion The other guys got passed up for the promotion Angron Conrad Kurz

Petroabo Three people that World leaders, night lords And Iron Legion Oh sorry Iron Warriors Those are the other three You don't know them We'll talk about them eventually

We're probably gonna have an episode for each Legion, if I'm being honest. Oh, I should mention, real quick. Remember how has to there's 20 legions? Mm-hmm. There's 18 now. There's 18 now. Yep.

How do we get to 18? I don't know. No, just 18 now? It happened. That's it. That's the word. Okay, so the concept, I guess originally, like I think this is what Shai told me,

is that Games Workshop, one in two legions on one chaos, one like loyalist, and both of them were things that you could create yourself as a way for roleplay. You can create your own legion, you know? And then people realized that was fucking stupid. So then they basically said they did something so incredibly horrible that their entire memory has been expunged and all records have been deleted. And it is the most effective censoring that the Imperium has ever done. There is no information on them whatsoever. Okay All right Rogelor made some joke about like If I could have

Two more legions And Malcador looked at him With a stern eye I was like Do not even speak of it And Rogelor was like okay

Okay Malkador Don't get your fucking Staff in a wad Uh That's that's great That's a great reason for it I mean

So I'm not quite sure And so I want to end And that is to end this episode But mainly like Set up The Horace with two specific events.

One with Horace and one with Lorgar. I want to do Horace first because Lorgar's is rather interesting. So Horace went to a different planet and this planet were a bunch of fancy people. I forget what they were called, like the Interrex. And then they're called the Interrex. He went to this planet and the guys there

were like, they had all this really fancy, fancy shit, fancy artifacts, really, really fancy sword and all this, like a really, really fancy sword. And they were talking to people there and the people were there like, hey, yeah, we're reading really careful because there's this thing called chaos and they're super bad and evil and we don't want to talk to and we don't want them to be around and they can like they can give you like powers and they can be

the undoing of the galaxy and Horace is like yeah whatever man well that's not quite true he didn't quite believe it he was like okay damn something more powerful than my dad and like ruin his powers of the unseen my dad should have told me about this if it existed and oh this is where it's It's a little bit problematic. And then, because the Interrex were a little bit hesitant of Horace and his boys. They were kind of like creeped out, but they were pretty powerful. The Interex, because the horse was too, but, you know,

the Interex were kind of powerful, but they were a little bit spooked. And then their fancy, super fancy, fancy, fancy sword got stolen. Do you want to know who stole it? Who stole it? This guy named Erebus. Of course he did. Of course it was. Who else?

So he just nicked it. And then all of the interics were like, I knew you guys couldn't be trusted. You're chaos worshippers. And then they fought Horace. And Horace and his legions killed them all. Naturally. But he was like, fuck, what the hell?

They tell me about these rudest gods. And then, like, I didn't steal it. And then they, like, is it that bad? And he starts getting really freaked out about this kind of shit. And then his dad just leaves. It doesn't tell him why. And then in a battle later on, he actually fights, I think it's some Nergel, Nurgel Unden. And then one of them shanks him with that same sword.

Oh, really? And he's like, what? Because he was like, the sword is fancy-pancy and the dark gods. And he gets shanked by the same fucking sword. And it's like, wait, what the hell? And in fact, it had such a terrible Nergel toxin that he couldn't heal. He has like inhuman healing, but he was actually starting to die. And so they like, okay, like a horse is dying right now.

We need something to save him. And then this cool guy named Erebus in the world. First Chaplain Erebus was like, listen, ma'am, I'm just saying, you're in a lot of bad shape. I have a healing ritual. It's a fancy, fancy ritual. it may work but it's all we've got and Horace is like

Horace is like oh god my insides just fucking do it and so what he did is that he gave Horace an insanely dark vision of the of the imperial the imperium

worshipping his father as a god and his father a corpse on a throne and of aliens and chaos and Xenos or I already said aliens.

All this crap destroying the galaxy and half of his brothers turned traitor and all this stuff and they and he believed that this is all because of what the emperor was doing

and that the emperor because of the emperor's control over the Imperium it would turn the Imperium into a horrifying chaos-ridden rule of a false worship and all this stuff being the grand scheme where when he awoke

completely healed he was like I need to stop this at all costs oh man so even the heresy was of good intentions he thought truly that the emperor because it made sense like

the dad was being an asshole he wasn't telling him shit wasn't telling him anything he just goes off on his own what's he doing I don't know. You get this crazy dark vision. I get it. I get where he's coming from.

Also, again, I cannot, I have to reiterate, fuck Arabis, again, by the way. He's such a conniving asshole, I know. He's such a douche. But like I said, like he's the guy who pushes them, but yeah, he is a part of it. But then at that point, the chaos gods, he was now an Asian of chaos.

And truthfully, he, was actually, he had a lot more of himself at that point. He really wasn't that like corrupted, so to speak, but his deeds were of the gods themselves, you know, obviously his what he's going to do is what they wanted.

So then he went, he began to go out and do his other, his other mischievous things. Of course, undercover. He was not full of spikes yet, you know, but we'll get there. But, but

Where'd you get all those spikes from? It's like, oh, you know. It's just, it's just the phase, man. Dude, all the, the cast is so edgy. It is really just the face. Hot topic, horace, baby. But before we end, I want to talk about Lorgar real fast. Because, I mean, that entire, because Aribus is one of Lorgar's chaplains.

He is the first chaplain of the word bearers legion. Okay. So that's kind of why he's been around a lot. But I'm not quite, my timeline is a little bit messed up. I think this might have happened after what I'm about to tell you. I'm not, the timeline on 40K is fucking impossible. But the timeline's a little weird, but it's not really important. So, Lorgar has been doing his crusading, right?

He's been spreading the word of the emperor with the word bears. And as he's been doing this, the emperor was realizing, wow, Lorgar, you're like really slow. every three planets that you get everyone else gets 10 like what the shit man you're underperforming so the emperor went out to see what the hell was going on and he realized oh my god lorgar you are not just taking these planets you are religiously converting the entire population

unto the belief that I am a god you are creating churches and fundamental institutionalized religion and anyone who says no is either being like maimed in the square or instantly murdered who does not accept me as a god and therefore the population has to regrow

and oh my god Lord Gar what are you doing so that's the thing is because he's spreading the word of the emperor he's spreading God he's creating institutional religion and so the emperor was so fucking angry

because this is the thing he's hated the most this is everything he's hated every single He specifically told him not to do. Don't worship me as a god. I'm not the one. Stop it. What does he go and do?

Let's make everyone believe that he's a god and worship him. And know all that, but he's underperforming. And he's underperforming, sure. That seems, okay. He's going to get fucked, isn't he? So, so if, so, um, now what, now, what does the emperor do? All right. Multiple choice here?

No, I'm just going to tell you. This is arguably the greatest galactic public spanking I have ever seen. So what he decided to do is he took this planet. It's called Monarchia, like Monarchia. And he, imagine it akin to like Jerusalem. It's like the holiest city, the holy, holy city, the holiest city of all times. And he took him, his custodians, Malcador, and Mr. Robote Gilliman, the prime of the Ultramarines, and the entire Ultramarines population or chapter, which like 300,000

Marines, like it's a lot. And he burnt it to the fucking ground. He completely raised the city to ash. like the and all of his people all of his his worshippers all of his like religious symbols

he killed them all he burned he burned Jerusalem he burned it to the fucking ashes and to the ground and then he took Lorgar and his entire legion and he had them assemble

in the ashes of monarchy and he forced them to kneel in front of the of front of the ultramarines in front of the emperor in front of Malcador in the ashes of his holy city and was like, you are a fucking disgrace, you are

a shame, I am a shame to call you my son, you disgust me, you will cease this bullshit immediately, I am not a god, you worship a false idol, fuck you. And then he left. Holy shit!

And I was like, Big Ems, what are you doing? Holy shit. Damn He raised a holy city To the ground Just oh my What a savage I mean

Jesus Fucking hell And yeah And so And so Lord Gar One were too Fucking pleased And

No kidding An Arabis was like Yo, yo dog I know some gods Who will appreciate Our worship Oh Arabis

You said Arabist again. In that situation, it wouldn't take much of a push to get them to be like, yeah, you know what? Maybe worshipping that emps is, mm-mm, let's, yeah, let's ditch that and go for something else. Yeah, not even, not even the slightest. Like, it completely makes sense in that statement because, oh my God. Arabis is just like, you know, I know some other guys, and before he can even finish, yeah, we're in. Yeah, pretty much.

It is insane how bad of a public fucking spanking that he did. It's ridiculous. And that's the thing is like, truly, you could have had the issue of good old Horace turning over. Right. You could have Horace's issue. You can have all these kinds of things. But the raising of Macarius is. quite a situation.

And at that point, it should not surprise you why Lorgar turned traitor. Like that right there, I would honestly argue, was the turning point. Even if Horace didn't turn, Lorgar would have probably just been the new, the different Horace, the new Horace. Oh, oh, God, yeah. Like, at that point, after such an insane public humiliation of everything that he had held dear and cherished and worshipped, did that. It's, yeah, not a huge surprise that he was like, you know, maybe chaos. Yeah, I got some guys that'll actually give a shit about us worshiping them. And Shai mentioned like, yeah, Ultramarines and wordbearers don't get along.

No kidding. Just a little bit. Actually, I want to read a quick quote that I think is interesting. Lorgar wrote a book, the book of Lorgar, which is the first canticle of chaos. And the book of Lorgar says, and I quote, All I ever wanted was the truth. Remember those words as you read the ones that follow. I never set out the top of my father's kingdom of lies from a sense of misplaced pride.

I never wanted to bleed the species to its marrow, reaving half the galaxy claim of human life in this bitter crusade. I never desired any of this, though I know the reasons for which it must be done, but all I ever wanted was the truth. And ironically We haven't talked about the Horace Harris yet but spoiler alert

Lorgar is still alive Like in current times he is still alive So We don't like have a model for him We don't know where the hell he is I think he exists Yeah I think he's a

I think maybe a chaos primark right now Like a demon prince Or demon primark kind of like Magnus is But we don't know what he looks like Or where he is or anything But yeah So Horace has been tricked into a vision of destruction. Lorgar is fucking infuriated.

Yeah, you should as, yep, mm-hmm. A big Emps. Big Ems is bailed and he's working on his own thing and the rest of his sons aren't too pleased. And for the next and final episode of this situation, these three-parter, Horace is going to go talk to his brothers. Shit is about to get real.

And we will discuss that in the next one. Such a tease. Any questions, D.K. I feel like we should end this episode. If you have anything I can clarify on to help. This is a lot. Not really. Like, I feel like this is just like, hey, Emperor did a lot of things pretty poorly.

A lot of hindsight is 2020 stuff, but it's like, man, you should have seen this. coming. Like this, it doesn't take a psycher that can see into the future and read people's minds to, to ascertain where all of this was leading. It's crazy. How bad he is at this. Like, this whole Horace Hercocene thing, it is, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's em's fault. There's so many, there's so many points along this setup where he could have just nipped it in the bud. And he doesn't. It's, it's a, it's a kind of an interesting, concept about like, like, how do I explain it? Compassion.

It's the idea that the emperor, being the avatar of humanity, is arguably one of the least human in both the way he acts and the way like, like, Necrons have more emotions than he do. Seriously. Yeah. It's basically agreed upon that even when he's, without chaos horace heresy would still happen yeah it would just it would just have been like a mutiny as opposed to a uh like a huge it's been a different yeah he just you would he just wouldn't have been worshiping chaos he still would have probably turned on emps for whatever yeah it's it's kind of a i mean there's there's a lot of similarities and satire that go along with with warhammer

uh there's a reason the emperor looks like jesus um there's a reason why he died and and and there's and like everyone versus it. There's always that cons. Obviously, I'm not a religious person, so I don't know much about the Bible and all, but there's that con, there's that prevailing theory that, like, Jesus himself didn't want to be worshipped.

Like, the idea that he is, like, worshipped as a God is, like, the thing he wouldn't want because he's trying to give stuff to the people or blah, blah, blah, blah. The idea the emperor doesn't want any religion. He's now worshipped as a God, the irony. Like, I'm, I can't really go too far into that because I don't fucking know it, but you can kind of see the irony that they're trying to spin.

along with our giant muscular fucking space marines it's a good combination of a little bit of commentary combined with just fucking nerd out gothic bullshit also you know

the emperor like without the fact that he is such a bad dad but he's the same time like okay with the concept with a lack of compassion a lack of understanding a lack of caring is actually what ended up

becoming his downfall when he in reality thought that it would be what saved him. So there's some good irony in there, you know? Yeah, that's some solid irony, you know?

It's the free ride that you just didn't take. That's the Atlanta's more set song. It's a, you know, it's a, anyway. It's a fair enough statement,

I get it. But yeah, Biggie, that's, go ahead. Biggie dumb. Biggie, Biggie got problems.

Biggie not smart at times. Very dumb. Yep. And shit's about to get way worse for him too, isn't it? Oh, God. Yeah, you know, I think it will. I'm glad that we set that up because as far as I'm concerned, I don't think we'll be even talking about Arabis anymore.

I think that's all of Arabis. Good. Fuck him. Yeah, he's a shithead. I think he's, yeah, I think that's it. He's just like, he's the guy that kind of, you know, he just pushed them a little bit. But after this, I think it's all Horace. It's all Lorgar.

It's all like the amps and sanguineous And we're talking a little bit about that Well, we'll talk about that Yeah Yeah, it's a Oh yeah, Shai made a good point Ironically, everything that Arabis did The chaos gods like didn't give him anything

You know, I wonder Like for the way Arabis sounds Sewing all of this And knowing that he was a pivotal part Of all this fuckery That was probably the only reward that he really needed.

Oh, no. He wanted more. He wanted more. Oh, did he? Oh, he wanted to become a god. He's fucking Arabis. He's like, chaos powers. Make me immortal.

Make me insane. Do all the crazy shit for me. I thought Arabis was just like a sadist. And he was just like, yeah, I fucking did all this shit. Fuck you. This is me, baby. That too, but he wants the ability to do more. Oh, okay.

Gotcha. Gotcha. He wants the power. He just sounds like such a fuck rat. He is. really a douche I do not like Aribus

I don't know if you could tell No one no one does He's a man child He's a petulant manchild Honestly there's actually another guy That I'd argue is about as bad as Arabis his name is Typhus

Typhus is a whole New dude And that Really Well he's like the Where if Arabis was For the word bearers Typhus is

Arabis for the death guard This is actually a model You can actually use on tabletop right now And he fucks He not only is he an awesome model Like he looks incredible But Erebus is a model too Oh shit I had no idea

He's probably the prime target for everyone Because fuck that guy I think it's because nobody If I saw Arbus on the field and I was playing I'd be like look I'm going after him He's dying first Yeah he's a douche But we'll probably

talk a little bit about typhus during the deathguard episode. That man is a shithead, but that'll be later. Anyway, that was the Great Crusade and the sowings of heresy. I hope you enjoyed it because this is, it's exciting. This is when we get into the big shit. Yeah, it's ramping up. Like, even not knowing everything that's going to happen, I'm just like, yo, shit is about to get wild.

Like all the seeds are there Oh boy there's about to be a big explosion Oh yeah there is I am I am ready for it I am anxious for the next episode Which hopefully will start being on a weekly basis If you go to patreon.com slash adeptus ridiculous right Hey shit if I'm being truthfully honest

If we can get it to a thousand before the two week time frame is up Like the moment if the Patreon reaches 1K The moment it does We'll probably just like Get a message from shy like we have one K, we got to film tomorrow. I'm like, okay, let's go. I'm in, let's do it.

I'm down. Yeah, anytime, anywhere, like, this is like the most, this is probably the most fun content I make all month, you know, is these like two week intervals of doing these podcast recordings. So I, if I could do it every week, sign my ass up. I'm glad. It is really, really fun. And honestly, these parts are actually the parts that I struggle with the most.

I really like talking about characters and talking about like individual factions. So this part, these things are actually not my forte, if I'm being honest. But once we're done with like all the background lore and they're like, all right, we're doing an episode on the age of apostasy. Like I am so fucking hype for the age of apostasy. I am so excited. It's really like a two hour long fucking episode. I'm so excited. It's the...

Age of apostasy sounds like a fuck time. It does not sound fun. It is when the Sisters of Battle became a thing. Ah, those are your girls, right? They are. I'm so excited. Okay, we're going too far on the time limit right now. We're going too far.

Right, right, you're right. Thank you to all of our wonderful viewers and patrons. You are absolutely fantastic. This has been growing at exponential rate that we never thought would be going this quickly, especially because, you know, lots of 40K podcasts are like three hours long when it comes to lore. I mean, obviously we don't want to bag on them, but it can be really difficult if you don't, unless you're already familiar. But we're really happy that we can help you get a jumping off point. Besides that, thank you to all of you so much.

Please check us out on The Deps Ridiculous, as we said on Patreon. Also, we have the YouTube channel if you're not watching there. If you're listening to the normal podcast and you're like, oh, man, I wish it was on YouTube. It is. On Identity's Ridiculous. On YouTube, we upload every episode. We also have some fun art in there as well. If you want some visual representations

of the things that I'm talking about. You're like, oh, I wonder what that looks like. Shai tends to put stuff in there, so that's pretty cool. And you can see all of our minis. Yes, that too. We made a video on our minis. I got to make a better video of mine, but I had very little time.

Yours are sick, dude. Thanks, dude. I'm really proud of some of my sister stuff. They're real slick. And then after that, Also, check out the Twitter as well. That's ridiculous on Twitter. And if you are a Patreon, make sure to make sure you link your Discord.

So you can come on over to the Discord. It's actually quite bumping. There's a lot of people talking around here. There's always a good conversation in the Discord. Absolutely. D.K., where can they find you? D.K. Diamanties on everything except Instagram, where I'm real D.K. Diamanties. But, yeah, I hope you all enjoy.

This is so much fun. Can't wait for the next episode where everything goes to shit. Where can they find you, Brie? Oh, you know, I'm on Bricky. Everywhere. Twitch.tv.com, Bricky. Twitter, at Bricky. Instagram, Bricky, IG.

Fuck. Damn, that branding, though. So close. I had to pay a few people. It's all right. I do what I had to do. I need to get really big on Instagram so I can, like, force the other person out.

Do it for the brand, man. I have for the brand. Okay. And also, you could check out Quiet Shy on her YouTube channel. Twitter and so on. And, uh, yeah, we'll see you next episode for the Horace Heresy. Oh boy. Have a good one.