Adeptus Ridiculous - LIZARDMEN: THE GREAT PLAN (AND BIG FROGS) | Warhammer Fantasy Lore

Episode Date: July 21, 2024

https://www.patreon.com/AdeptusRidiculoushttps://www.adeptusridiculous.com/https://twitter.com/AdRidiculoushttps://orchideight.com/collections/adeptus-ridiculousThe Lizardmen, sometimes known as the "Cold Ones" or the "Children of the Gods" among themselves, are an ancient, savage, and highly intelligent race of cold-blooded, reptilian humanoids that are the first and oldest civilisation of the Known World. Long before the rise of Men, Elves or Dwarfs, the empire of the Lizardmen ruled supreme. Alien, enigmatic, and without mercy, the Lizardmen were there when it all began and will be there when the mortal world draws its last, dying breath, never tiring nor relenting until order is finally restored to this uncaring, chaotic world. Such is what they were made to do, for they are the ancient servants and first creations of the Old Ones, the one, true protectors and shapers of the Known World.Support the show

Welcome everybody to the realm of Ridiculous, the brand new and fascinating show starring the Adeptus Ridiculous crew led by D.K., listened to by me, shy in the background at gunpoint, or more so holding us at gunpoint. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's not at gunpoint. Where we are talking about Warhammer Fantasy. But before we get to into this episode, if you enjoy this podcast and you want to see more of all of this stuff, check out patreon.com slash adept. this ridiculous, where you can find posters, bloopers, and all kinds of other great stuff like Discord

access and new Patreon-specific rewards. Check it out, patreon.com slash adeptionacrediculous in the description, as well as Orchid 8, also in the description where you can get yourself some fantastic merch. Check it out. Check it out. Love that merch.

So, friend D.K. Friend Bricky. We have, uh, this is, this is our first, I guess, official foray into the new. Yeah, this is the first episode of, of Realm of Ridiculous. So yeah, this is our, you know, the other one was like, oh, hey, yeah, you know, we'll do a Skaven episode. We'll, we'll gauge what the interest is. And this is like the first, like, here we go.

Oh, I haven't seen the new background. Wait, this is, this is dope. Yeah. I've got a little V-tuber syndrome going on as a high elf. God damn elves. Am I just like a human fighter? Yeah, it looks like you are just, what's the human empire, Britonia or something? Like, oh, check it out.

Our game has a million new classes and characters, me on my way to make my 19th human fighter. Human fighter, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay, and then Shai is a dwarf. Yeah, and look at that, look at that ladder she's got. Look at that thing, because you can't fly in fantasy, surely. I've been little nervous about this episode, because look, man, I'm no expert on fantasy. I don't play the fantasy tabletop, so this is going to be a little bit of an adventure of me on the fly,

trying to learn fantasy well enough to teach to Bricky, who also doesn't know fantasy. Shy's probably the only one among us. bum bum bum bum The EBit, no That has any experience With fantasy whatsoever But Bricky, I think we have picked To the best starting point

We possibly could for fantasy And I have a quote for you I have a quote And honestly I think you're going to get this I think I think I am much better at picking quotes than you are So I think you're going to be You're going to be just fine. You ready for it?

I'm not even going to take offense to that because I think lately my quotes have been pretty bad. So I accept that. I accept it. But we'll see if I can. But I need to slowly collect a group of wins, unlike you. So we'll get there. That's true. I started off with elves and I just rolled that snowball down.

And now you're an elf. Elve. All right. Anyway, quote, amid the darkness and horror of the world splintering apart, the armies of the true creator who were ancient and at the dawn of time will march forth once more. We shall sweep away all that is chaos and disorder,

for ours is the true path, and none shall defy us. Okay, at first I thought it was chaos because you said like the original order, and I'm like, oh, primordial, like, primordial beings, the warp, chaos, etc. But you said sweep away chaos, unless you are referring to chaos as like a concept. Well, it depends on your interpretation, I suppose.

I'm gonna go with like some kind of high elf bullshit. Ooh, final answer? Yes. Bricky has chalked up his first L. Really? Realm of Ridiculous. Yes, because today, my bricked up friend, we are covering the lizard men.

Why would I have gotten the lizard men from that? What about that screams lizard men? I don't know anything about this. True, but lizard men are pretty well known for being like kind of the first sort of faction of fantasy. And one of their big things that we'll learn is that they really hate chaos. Oh, brother, do they hate them some chaos? Like everybody, you know, most people hate chaos. Lizard men, oh boy.

Ooh, it's my job to hate chaos. But anyway, we'll get to that. I had no idea lizard men were like this. I know, I know, I thought lizard men were like really into themselves. And that's like part of their schick. That we'll get to, we'll get to it. We'll get to it. We'll get to it.

It's fine. Okay, so lizard men. Cool, cool, cool, cool. Lizardmen. Okay, so like I said, this is kind of like the perfect start point for fantasy. And I guess before we get started, I do need to mention that in this episode, we're not going to be talking about the lizard men after the end times and age of Sigmar. In the future, we probably will. But since we haven't done an episode on the end times or like the start of age of Sigmar, it's kind of hard to be like, well, here are the lizard men after, you know, after this thing. We haven't covered yet. So just for the first episode of Realm of Ridiculous, we're not getting into end times, but we will eventually. Okay? So just any comments that are

worried about it, don't be, we'll get to it later. And I know, I know we will some, at some point probably translate this into various like Sigma style stuff as well, because there's like the fantasy times and then there's like, is that what Serafin are, or Serafin Sigma? Saraphan are essentially, this is what the lizard men are like after the end times. Because there's a bit of a weird thing that happens that... All right, we'll get to it. When we get to the Sarifon episode, we'll definitely talk about it. All right.

So, all right, the lizard, wait, they're just called the lizard men. Yes. At this point, they're just the lizard men. Okay. And genuinely, their origin begins with the literal origins of the fantasy world. Like, at this point in time, before the creation of the lizard men, you can just imagine the world

as being in sort of this big giant ice age. Like, it is just one big continent, and it is basically just covered in ice. I think there are prehistoric savage beasts that are just, they're all

jockeying for the warmest spot on the continent for just general survival. It is an icy hellscape. and in time a group of sort of highly advanced reptilian being show up in their silver ships and their technology is basically completely unknowable to anything living on this world these are simply known as the old ones oh there's old ones in this place too the old ones are here too okay all right are they also like well i guess we don't really know

what an old one is and 40K so much, but they were kind of like lizardy people. They were like frogs. They kind of looked a little bit like that. Yep, the old ones are also bit reptilian, super highly advanced. And the old ones come across this frozen hellscape of a world and they see potential. Despite the fact that it's covered in savage beasts that know nothing except I'm going to kill you for survival, they decide that this planet would eventually be a really important sort of hub for a great plan that they had in mind. Wait, this map, it's just like an AI-generated version of Earth.

Yeah, we talked about that in the Skaven episode where it's like, if you look at the fantasy map, it is essentially just Earth. We did, you're right. We did, you're right. There's like you squint a little bit. That's pretty funny though. Okay. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That's okay.

I routinely forget stuff and make you repeat stuff on adeptist ridiculous. So I'm not going to hold that against you. Well, I'm also learning a new area. I guess, you know, if anything, fantasy takes place entirely on this map, right? Yeah. Okay. Well, that'll make at least a little bit easier to remember because I know, like, where are the lizard men here? I'm like, okay.

Like, that'll make things much easier. Okay, cool. Yep. But at the current moment, this is all just one. It doesn't look like that right now. It is just one solid-ass continent. It's all connected. And it's just like this sort of icy hellscape. Literally, Pangea. Yeah. Okay. And so the old ones ended up putting these massive sort of interstellar portals at both of the poles of the planets, because that gives them like easy access to it. Like no matter where they are in the galaxy, they can. and just, boop, here we are, we're back, wonderful. The old ones would also use their technology to quite literally shift the orbit of the planet so that it would veer closer to the sun and help bring the planet out of its sort of icy shell

and make it more of this sort of lush, green, earth-like planet. Since, like I said before, it was just one big ice block continent. Next, the old ones would create the first group of lizardmen known as the slon. And this first grouping of slon is known as the first spawning. Now, when you look at a slon, you might think that they're not really a huge deal. Because, like, look at that thing. It's just, it looks like a big, bloated toad dude. And it's like, how much of a problem could that thing create, right?

Well, well, he looks like he's casting lightning into the heaven. so I'm assuming it's not about his physical stature and more about his psychic power. Oh, yes, because the slon are unimaginably powerful mages. Like, all of the stuff I looked up is just like, oh yeah, if they wave their hands, boom! Your city is gone! It is dust! Apparently, if there is an opposing mage, a slon can use their magic and just be like,

oh, by the way, nope, you're not using magic anymore. I've unweaved your spell GGs Oh Yeah And aside from the old ones The sloan are without a doubt The most powerful beings at the time

Also shy I have a quick question for you If you could answer I saw two differing opinions on the slon One was that the old ones First created them When they showed up here Another was that the slon There were a couple of slon that actually came

With the old ones on their ship and some of them existed before the first spawning. But there are so many like varying opinions on it that I... So basically though, okay, so the question is whether or not like they came with the old ones. So the old ones are are an interstellar species. They are like, okay, so they arrive to this planet basically. Mm-hmm. Okay.

So it's whether or not they created the, which they're not the spawn. They're the slon? The slon. The slon. The slon. But this is called the spawning. The first spawning. So the first spawning spawned the slon.

Yeah, the first spawning of the slonning. Okay, okay. I'm just making sure I'm not getting that wrong. Okay, gotcha. It's the slonining. Okay, okay. And there are actually some people that are like, well, the old ones are reptilian. and with how powerful the slon are,

it's like, did they make the slon in kind of sort of their image a little bit? Is this like what an old one looks like? Sure, sure. Also, the slon were also quite literally the only ones who could talk with the old ones. They were the only ones that were able to really comprehend the sort of great plan of the old ones to turn this once frozen, desolate world into something habitable and to sort of terraform it into what the old ones wanted.

But the old ones are like, you know, we do have this great plan to make this planet into something special, but you know, there's a lot of savage races on this planet. And golly, they really just don't fit into our great plan. and because the slon we're usually busy communicating with and meditating with the old ones

the old ones create another race of lizardmen called the Soros these are sort of your muscle-bound warriors this is sort of your warrior cast and these warriors would be tasked with

basically just genociding every other species that didn't much love Yeah, pretty much. They were going to be the warrior cast and it's like, hey, you know, all. Beefy. Yeah, they're beefy boys.

Hold on. Hold on. The salon are gigantic. Oh, yes, the salon are gigantic toads. They are big, bulbous magic toads. They don't move much themselves, but they have like these big floating platforms that they just hover around on. So we've got like unimaginable, mobility scooter psychers being led

being led by someone's going to try to fuck that that muscle bound someone's into that someone out there's into that probably yeah probably I think the big meme with the Soros are like

or the Lizard men in general is I think in it must be in Total War Warhammer where if you play as them they constantly go balk balk balk bach bach bach and so you know they balk Okay, sure, man.

Why not? The meme with the lizard men is always just like, oh, they kill something and then bach, bach, bach, bach, bach. Like a chicken? Well, I guess kind of. Be okay? I guess a little bit. All right.

It's kind of, oh, bach. Well, yeah, all right. Yeah, yeah. Shy, that's the wrong, that's the wrong meme. Shai, please post the one that looks like Rex. Thank you. All right. Ooh, fair play.

The old ones would also go ahead and make a smaller race of lizardmen called the skinks. And so all of these lizardmen, though, are being born out of these... They're spawning pools that the old ones make. They're like these pools that have this primordial ooze in them. And essentially, a lot of lizardmen can just be like... They almost come right out of the spawning pool fully formed

and knowing what they're supposed to do. I think eggs can also be left behind a little bit, but a lot of them just come out and they're just like, ah, yeah, I'm a skink. This is my job. Hooray! Okay, so 200 minerals, first part of the tech tree. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Oh, don't worry, I will definitely get to that.

And the skinks are kind of like, they're these smaller, agile dudes that are actually really intelligent. And they're sort of there to help with the overseeing and the construction of the lizardmen sort of temple cities. They're kind of like the foremen that are going to oversee and direct the more brutish lizard men on what

they need to do. And also, these skinks are pretty solid in combat because they're fast, they're a little stealthy, they're very hit and run, they'll just and then run away. So they're pretty good. There are also the

Croxigor that gets spawned. The Croxagore are your just massive hulking meatballs. They're like these gigantic bipedal alligator crocodile things.

You know, Shai said, Bricky, guess which human civilization lizard men are inspired by? Gotta, gotta be honest. I'm getting some Aztec here. Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing.

They are indeed Aztec. Well, how'd you know that, Bricky? You know, you gotta have really good calves and quads to be climbing up all those steps. I mean, that's fair. That's fair. So, so... Very Aztec themed. Super Aztec themed. So wait, so, okay, so far we've got the sloans, which are the giant psychotodes.

We've got the skink, which are, like, small hunter, like, fast, like, stabby, annoying ones. Very smart. What's the name of the buff lizard man one more time? So there's the Soros, which are like the sort of warrior cast. And then you've got the chunky, chunky ones. Yeah, the Croxigor. They're like your big, beefy, monstrously big sort of crocodile alligator-looking thing. And they are specifically made for like hard labor.

So if you're building a temple city and you need like huge boulders or materials moved somewhere, Croxagor Okay They're also Kind of dense They're not the sharpest tool In the shed Okay so it's a little

Ogritty Yeah Little ogrety Okay gotcha Gotcha So usually they need the skinks To tell them what to do Where to go

Who to fight Who to kill All that sort of stuff And naturally The Crox cigar Pretty good to have in a fight Yeah So when you say

Okay Because shy posted an image of the croxedor, he's a big boy. But like, what is, what did they look like compared to the other, the other big, like, the other faction? Or not the factions, the other lizard men. Like, because clearly they're big, but like, how big is this bign? I, shy, would you say it would be comparatively like a human to an ogrean? Because they're big. They're really big.

Oh, yeah, shy posted one right there. It's literally, it's literally like a crocodile. Like on trend. Okay. Damn. When I said they're like big hulking crocodile alligators, I was not kidding. Well, at first I thought you meant, I thought you meant they were like the dinosaurs on the left-hand side of that earlier image. Oh, got you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So they're big power, like, hammer, like, warhammer, like wielding breaking stone. Yeah, yeah. No way. I know, I know. But like breaking stones and crap like that. Yeah.

Okay. Cool, cool. and as you can probably tell so far from the races a lot of their creation boils down to the old ones being like hey guys leave the slon alone so we can tell them about the great plan they can tell it to you

and you can actually make it happen so they're trying to make everybody's lives just really easy and in tandem with the slon the old ones have this crazy like it's a web of energy that encompasses the whole

world. It's called the geomantic web. It's like this matrix of magical energy that's just webbed out throughout the whole world. And it's with this geomantic web that the old ones, I think, were able to

change the orbit of the planet and move it closer to the sun. And the old ones were like, all right, guys, lizard men, build your temple cities here, here, here, here, and there. And if you do, you are going to amplify the hell out of the power of the geomantic web, and that's what we want.

The slan are also going to use the geomantic web to literally... This is how strong the slan and the geomantic web are. They use it to take that once singular content and crack that shit into separate continents. To make the map that you see today that looks exactly like Earth, they split a continent apart into all its separate little pieces. I mean, is that particularly crazy, though, considering the fact that this is an interstellar race?

I mean, it's still continental shifting and, like, they are literally playing God here. I guess that's true. Wait, so have the old ones bailed yet? No, no, the, uh, the salon are still in direct communication with the, The old ones are still telling them exactly what they need to do and how to do it. Okay, because I'm always assuming that the old ones are either going to leave or get massacred because the fantasy only occurs in one area. Yeah, I'm just used to that.

Well, in every single damn like, oh, the late or the early people, the Zelnaga or the, in Starcraft or the Prometheans and the forerunners in Halo, they always like die or get removed somehow, so I'm waiting for it. Anyway. I'm not going to say you have bad instincts, but we'll get there. I'm familiar with this trope. So, okay, all right. So they blow up a continent and they turn it into Earth. Well, they're not Earth.

They don't even blow it up. They just crack it, you know? They don't even have to blow anything up. The geomantic web just and they just kind of split. How long does it take for the continents to like shift to the new locations, though? Or does not matter really? I actually, I don't think it really matters. It's just that they do it, right?

And the lizard men would make their homes on one of the southern continents called Lustria, Lustria, which is kind of like this tropical climate filled with jungles and sort of rainforests and stuff like that. So, the old ones, the slon and the geomantic web have got all this power. They're reforming the planet however they want, and nothing is going to stop them. there are several more spawnings of slon, but the interesting thing is apparently only the first spawning of slon could actually like communicate with the old ones.

I'll talk about this a little bit later also, and I think Shy mentioned it in the chat, but the other important thing about the slant is that only the old ones can make one. They can't just be pooped out of a spawning pool. So it's an important thing. note for later that the slon can only be created by the powers of the old ones. But the next generation of slon cannot communicate with the old ones?

Pretty much. The first spawning are the only ones that have directly communed with the old ones. And I'm assuming they communes psychically because powerful mages. Okay. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Sort of, the slon love to meditate. The sloan love their meditation Well are they meditating or are they communicating?

Because like normally when you think meditation, it's just like meditation. But if this is like, oh no, it's communication with the old ones. What the hell is that image? That is a slon probably what a sloan deep in meditation sees. Probably, yeah. That's just so funny. It's just a crazy image. I've never seen that.

Okay. So I really like that image because. because it just shows off all of the stupidity of Warhammer in general. You've got like, you've got like this, this giant, like overweight, um,

Aztec toad, like communing with the stars. Space. Yeah. It's like, oh, I, I've,

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. It just gets to me, man. Yeah, he, he's, he's, he's,

he's on some kind of boof pack right now, for sure. He's, um, but this is, is also kind of the part where the lizard men are going to go, you know, they're going a little genocidal on essentially anything that isn't a lizard man or, you know, anything that is not expressly in the great plan by the old ones, or if the old ones are like, hey, leave that thing

alone. Yeah, lizard men are going to go kill it. Now, the old ones actually end up like kind of seeding the planet. So the old ones are the ones that actually help create the lesser or races of like humans, dwarves, elves, and stuff like that. But it seems to me that the old ones kind of sort of want a blank slate for the lizard men to start with, and they just go on a, you know, genocidal terror of sort of the prehistoric races that were there. So not quite the all-encompassing genocide I mentioned in the Skaven episode, because they will kind of coexist

with these lesser races that the old ones end up creating and seeding the planet with but those prehistoric races yeah they're getting wiped out okay but like these prehistoric races they're not like advanced right

it's just like a bunch of like Neanderthals and stuff right yeah like Neanderthals and the old school dinosaurs and stuff like that so it's it's yeah but there's absolutely no like there can't be any, what's the word?

Resistance, though. Because, like, aren't these, like, just giant, intelligent lizard, like, race? Like, they're basically farming. Oh, yeah. They're definitely, like, there is no resistance. None that I've seen. The prehistoric races are just obliterated. They stand no chance, and they are just gone, gone.

Okay. I was honestly, like, what, this is, this feels like, like, pest control. At most. Pretty much. Pretty much, yeah. And the only race that manages to survive this purge from what I've heard are the orcs. Because I think the orc fungus, I think we talked about this, didn't we shy?

Even in the Skaven episode where it's like the orc fungus hitched a ride on the old one ship as it was kind of like traversing through the warp. And so they also managed to plant themselves on the fantasy war. world, and the orcs of fantasy are just as resiliently impossible to completely wipe out as in 40K, so Lizardmen can't quite get rid of that problem. And so the orcs, I think, are the only race to survive through this sort of transitional period of, you know, complete genocide. I mean, do they still spawn the same way like 40K orcs do, where they're just like really hard to get rid of because they're a bunch of fungus and stuff? I believe so. I mean, I have a deep

dived into the orcs of fantasy, but I got to believe in that manner, they are very similar. Fair point. So, things are going swimmingly for the old ones and the lizard man. The Great Plan is in full swing. They're putting in the work. They have erected tons of temple cities in Lustria right where they need to be. The heart and soul of their civilization is the first city that's constructed. It is called the first city of East.

and they're helping terraform all the new continents. They're even, at the behest of the old ones, they're even kind of sort of helping the new lesser races, make sure that they're in the right climate, make sure that they're, you know, being raised up the way the old ones want them to, man, this great plan is great. But much like with 40K, nothing ever goes completely according to plan for long.

And you know those, big-ass portals that the old ones put at both poles of the planet? Let me guess. They just like turn them off and leave. Nope. Well, they don't turn them off because basically those poles just explode and collapse on themselves. Wait, why? Why?

Nobody knows. Might have been bad luck. Might have been that chaos is just like, you know, old ones, we are sick and tired of your shit. Who knows? All we know is that they explode and they just implode on themselves. Okay, so these, so they just, they just like randomly, it's like, all right, it's gone. Pretty much, but when these things collapse on themselves, they, these are essentially warp portals. And when these things go, they basically tear a fucking hole in reality.

and now we are in a situation where everything is going tits up. Like, according to the wiki, it specifically says that after the polls sort of implode, they open a gateway for chaos to just flood through. Just all the armies of chaos now have this big open door that they can just fomp through. Oh, so that's one of the reasons why they hate chaos so much. Do the lizard men blame chaos for it? Like in the modern time? I don't know.

Because I would. It's just after what chaos ends up doing to them does not, you know. Oh, are they going to be like, oh, look, you know what you did to all the other races on this planet? Chaos is like, it's our turn. See how it feels. Shai has a little excerpt. I don't know if you want to read it. I can read it if you want.

I'll go ahead and read it. Well, we're doing some role reversal here. Oh, wow. This is how it feels. Oh, wow. I know. What's it like topping for once, D.K.? Oh, man, it's so boring to me.

Sorry, that was really out of the left field. I'm sorry. Listen, man, I'm a V-tube. I'm used to being called the bottom. It's fine. You're good. Read the damn quote. Yeah, I'm reading the damn thing.

Whether due to enemy attacks, structural failure, the old one's great polar gates, the means by which they traverse the stars collapsed upon themselves. The eldrick machin, oh, machinaries. Of those machinations at first. The eldrick machinaries of the gates crashed down upon the world in a burning hail of star metal. Simultaneously, the poles of the world imploded, opening riffs into the beyond, and the energies of chaos spewed forth from that dimension of pure magic. So are these demons? Yeah, we've got chaos, we've got demons, and from what I could tell, it is literally every chaos god's demons are pumping through.

So it's not a great time. Also, this is where the Skaven's favorite booger sugar comes from. Because when all this is going down, Warpstone is also shooting out of the portals and sailing through the sky and plummeting to the ground. Even better than that! There is a literal moon-sized warpstone that has hurled its way into the sky, and now our quaint little planet has a second, glowing, green, moon made entirely out of warpstone called Morseleb. I don't know if I'm saying that right, but whatever. Wait, wait, wait.

Wait, wait. Wait, I'm sorry. Wait. this moon-sized thing is now in orbit or a landed. It's in orbit. Oh. They have a second moon. Is it still there?

And it's made a warpstone. Yeah. It's a moon made. I mean, for the Skaven, this thing might as well be made out of cheese because it is a big ass hunk of warpstone. Yep. Still there. That's so far.

Wait. Is this the moon, the Skaven blow up? Um. I don't, I mean, probably, because this thing is ridiculously important for the Skaven Vermintheid. It is so important to them. And on more than one occasion, the Skaven have actually tried to be like, let's blow off chunks of warpstone from this thing. So they're big fans of it, but, you know, I'm sure, I'm, I'm sure we're going to do a follow-up episode on the Skaven. And I, I got to believe that specifically, I think when we

do an episode on end times, we will definitely delve into how important old Morseleab is to the Skaven, the vermin tide, end times and stuff like that. But it's just, it's hilarious. They have a new moon. Bro, it is a warpstone. Bro, it is literally laughing. Yeah, it has a grin. It's laughing at you.

That's so weird. Yeah, it really is. It really is. But Skaven, oh, big fans, big fans. Chaos also loves worshipping this thing and doing crazy. rituals to it and yep, they love it. I love that tarot card of it too, by the way. That thing looks so cool.

That does look really cool. This is hilarious. Very Majora's mask. Yes. Yes. Yeah. So very clearly, everything is a complete, utter mess. And so the lizard men look to the old ones for guidance.

Like, guys, what do we do? They find nothing. The old ones are totally. and completely just gone, gone. And I assumed it was partially because, you know, their portals exploded, so it was kind of hard to make, like, a quick return. But you think at some point the old ones, in their infinite wisdom, would be able to trace their steps back and give the lizardmen a hand

with all of this chaos nonsense. But they don't. They just leave the lizard men to figure it out. And I guess a part of me is also like, well, I guess at this point, the old ones are like, well, great plan. failed, no reason to go back. I hope you have a fun day with chaos. We're out of here.

And the slime are... Wait, I want to roll this back real quick. Yeah, roll it, roll it. So the old ones did not die in a genocidal fire. They just pieced. Yep. They just pieced out. They were just like, yeah, nope, don't want to deal with that chaos stuff. Don't want to deal with fixing

whatever just happened. No, we're gone. Enjoy your life. We're done. And they never come back. what dicks? Yeah, super dicks. Nobody knows what happens to the old ones after this. They're just gone. I mean, based on what the old ones, like, their power,

it would assume that this would be maybe not a trivial thing to fix, but like, no, this is, so this is instead their version of basically just being like, you know what? Like, like, at this point, the cost of repair is too high compared to the cost of, of, like, selling. Fixing it. So we're just going to, we're just not, not going to. gonna. Yeah, we're just gonna find new

property. We're gonna start all over. Bye-bye. Have fun. That's so funny. Okay. They're just like Fantasy World, you can get bent. We're out. And so the slon are one of the first to start taking action against all of this, just

madness. And the slon, their magic is so strong that they literally use it to start shrinking these pole sized chaos gates that are spewing demons and chaos energy everywhere. And even with how insanely powerful the first spawn of Slan are,

they still cannot completely close these gates. They significantly shrink them, sure, but even just shrinking them a bit, that actually kills off half of the slon. And to repeat the point I made earlier, every slon that dies is completely irreplaceable at this point. Since the only one that can make a slon is the old ones, and the old ones piece the F out,

they can't make new slon to replace the ones that just got oofed. So, so slon are in a sense, like when one dies, that's it. Yeah, it's a huge loss for the Lizardmen if they lose a slon, because you're not getting a new one. Skinks and Saurus can be made through the spawning pools, but yeah, the sloan, irreplaceable. So losing half of your slon is huge for the lizard men. But hey, at least you have considerably shrunken the chaos gazed

and made your lives, you know, a little easier, but this is still an absolute chaos hellscape at this point. Chaos is everywhere. Chaos is running roughshod. And while that really sucks still, the lizardmen, you know, they're doing, yeah, it is called the Great Catastrophe. This event is called the Great Catastrophe for obvious reasons. So the Lizardmen, they're doing their best, and they're doing a pretty good job at kind of keeping chaos at bay, fighting them off at every front, you know, just, they're doing a pretty good job. And to be fair, at this point in time,

the only ones really equipped to deal with and fight chaos are the lizardmen, maybe the high elves, because they've got a little magic juice to them. They're still pretty advanced. But at this point, you know, it's kind of just the lizardmen trying to go on this global, like, kill chaos role. But the battle with chaos is basically never-ending. And while the lizard men are putting up a valiant,

fight, things just keep getting harder and harder and worse and worse. And even though they lost a lot of slon trying to close the gates, the ones that are left are still doing well. They're putting on kind of this magic clinic on chaos. Because again, they're super strong and like they're raining fire down everywhere. They're exploding stuff. they're really putting in the work. So they're not losing, but it's not like a cakewalk?

Yeah, well, they're not losing, but they're also not winning. They're not really gaining any ground, but they're like, they've got this kind of nice stalemate going. But also, the other problem is with all of this new magic energy and all this chaos energy flowing around and stuff, it does kind of mess with the Slan's abilities a little bit. it becomes a little bit harder to control all their power. And there were a few instances of the slon being, you know, they're doing their magic,

and they do a little oopsie-daisy, and their magic straight up kills them. Just with like magic psychic kickback, they just like explode their own head because their overwhelming power. With all this chaos juice infiltrating their mind, it just becomes so hard to control and they just oopsie themselves a little bit. So, wait, the slums you mean, I assume. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not every slon, but there are examples of slon just accidentally blowing their heads up because it's just...

Oh, that's really, really bad, because you can't make more slon. Yeah, it's really bad. That's not good. So it doesn't happen to all of them, but it does happen. Not great when it does happen. And so naturally, given enough time, chaos is starting to turn the tides of battle because, you know, they're just seemingly never-ending. And so they are kicking down the door. And Lizardmen cities are kind of falling left and right at this point.

And the slon are super desperate. And so they're like, okay, you know what? Let's use our magic and let's turn the rainforests and the jungles around our cities into like living death traps. And volcanoes spew up out of the jungle out of nowhere. The wildlife in the forest becomes savage. There are insects buzzing around that can just hop-gr-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-thru the thickest of armor, living vines that are just snapping everything, choking things, breaking your bones, quick sand, stuff like that. Anything that could be turned into a savage, natural weapon, the sloan were doing that in a last-ditch effort to stop the chaos demons from storming their cities.

All right, I hate to be it. So they basically just catachin their planet to be like, God damn it, chaos needs to stop. Yeah, essentially they catachin their little area of Lustria. And like Shai said, it's also the fact that, like, not only do you have chaos absolutely screwing you over, but there's just this crazy amount of, like, new magical energy just flowing all over the place,

causing all kinds of, like, craziness, too. So, yeah, they have sort of, Katachend their little jungle area. And even with this Herculian effort, they put, you know, a little damper on the chaos parade. Chaos finds it a little harder to get through the jungle, and they are stopped for a little bit. But again, like we said, there's so much new magical energy. There's so much chaos energy that the slon, they can only do so much. and it's only a matter of time before the demons have made their way through the jungles,

and they are now beating down the doors, or at least they're coming up on the most important city to the lizardmen, the backbone of their civilization, the first city of Itsa. And like Shai said, we are obviously focusing on the lizardmen right now, but this is happening all over the planet, the whole globe. Like the lizard men are trying to fight it on all fronts, but like, there's only so many lizard men. So, wait, but like, aren't most of the other races dead? Or because then they kill them all?

Or is it, like, not all of them? Because didn't you say the elves were around? Yeah, so the old ones have ceded the humans, the dwarfs, the elves, and all those. And those lesser races are kicking around, but they're not like super advanced. And right now, like, it's like the only people that can read. really have a chance at fighting the demons and fighting chaos are pretty much just the lizard men and the high elves. Those are the only ones that can really put up a fight. Everybody else is just kind of like running around, praying. Actually, I think the dwarfs are kicking around.

And I remember watching a video. I wish I could remember who it was. But essentially what I heard about the dwarves is they were like, wow, this chaos stuff looks really shitty. Um, yeah, we're going to close the doors to our forts underground and just bye-bye, I hope you guys win. I hope you guys win. But I didn't really look too much into what exactly the dwarves were doing. But I have to assume if you are not a lizard man and you are not a high elf, you are literally living in hell and your race is getting absolutely bodied right now. So this is before the end times. This is in fact the beginning times. Yeah, this is

yeah, this is not great for anybody, really. Well, maybe it's okay for. So, so the chaos beats down the doors to the main city of the Lizardman. Well, so they're, they're on the doorsteps.

Or on the doors, sorry. Yeah. Because even though they made it, it wasn't going to be a really easy city to Blitzkrieg. Because Itza is being defended by literally the first slon that has ever been created.

A slon named Croke. It's not a funny name for a big phone. God, you know, damn it. And this is literally the strongest slon that has ever been created. Like, he is so powerful that he has erected a barrier around Ethsa, like this shimmering barrier

of energy that is just so powerful that, that if a demon touches it, they get disintegrated. It's that strong of a barrier. Also, damn, his mini looks good. Dude, AOS models go so hard. Oh, my God.

What a mini. They go so hard, man. Oh, man. Cheesh. God damn. All right. Holy. Okay, so he's got his big bubble.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And as you may have guessed, he can't keep this barrier up forever. It's too much of a strain to put this around the whole. whole city and, you know, eventually he's just going to completely fizzle out of energy and just leave it's completely defenseless. So, Croke decides that instead of letting that happen, and instead

of just letting the barrier fizzle out, he is going to just explode his big-ass barrier outward as far as he can. And like I told you before, anything this barrier touches gets instantly vaporized. And since the demons are kind of crowding around the barrier, do you have any guesses at how many demons he just single-handedly killed by

doing his little exploding barrier trick? You know, I expected you, I feel this is a trick question, is it? No. Oh, okay, I'm assuming a lot. Yeah, he just single-handedly killed over a hundred thousand

demons. Oh, damn. Okay. He killed a lot of them. I find that ironic too because it's like obviously a lot and really cool. But also it doesn't sound like much because I'm so used to 40K numbers of like 40 million guardsmen have died. Victory. Victory. Ah, good old.

You love to see that Peric Imperial dub. Yes. You love to see it. Okay, okay. So I actually was a little worried because I was thinking so much about like Zinchian crap. And I was like, I was prepared for this. And because of that, when he blows out the thing, we were ready for it. And then, like, it didn't work.

And I was, like, uh-oh. Don't, don't read that one by Shy yet. That's, that's, that's spoiler. Okay. Okay. Um, but I, I would imagine when he explodes out this barrier, have you seen Akira? Uh, you mean the anime movie? No, I have not.

Oh, because there's a scene at the beginning where Tokyo just gets like absolutely like, and a part of me is like, yeah, it probably looks like that opening scene from Akira, where Tokyo just gets like well there's like this big dome of energy but anyway this is chaos we're talking about and this is like peak chaos so losing 100,000 demons still not enough

not enough to actually put a halt to their advance and while itza puts up a valiant effort the forces of chaos are making their way to the center of ITSA where Croke sits atop this just massive pyramids, still valiantly fighting everything off. And our boy Croke is like throwing fire from the heavens, lightning everywhere. He is smooting the forces of chaos as hard as he can.

And while Croke is going god mode on these fools, again, at this time, there's just no stopping the advance of chaos. Like the amount of insane magical energy, chaos or otherwise, that's swirling around the world right now after these portals are destroyed, are like super juicing chaos. And even with this insane effort from Croke, it just isn't enough. And it takes, get this, it takes 12 bloodthirsters jumping him to rip him apart limb from limb, until Croke. Crookes. Yes, sir. Wait, no, Croke-

Now you can read the spoiler. Croke died. A dozen bloodthirsters, protected by the favor of their dark god corn, fought through the deluge of spells, and reached the top of the pyramid. There, they fell upon Lord Croke's form, ripping him apart in a savage instant.

So overcharged of arcane enemies, or energies, was Lord Croke that his spirit fought on, refusing to let even death hint. Chad. Set free from his flesh, Crokes Radiance will soar, or soared above the ruins, scourging the invaders of the divine light that was like unto a second sun. Oh, the first city was saved. So, okay, so his death was also his sacrifice in a way. Yep, yep. So instead of

it being a chaos, duh, because, oh, dude, we got, we got the first city, hooray. It's just some fantasy bullshit where they're like, Oh, yeah, Croke's physical body. Oh, his spirit is freed from the shackles of his physical body. And he basically becomes a sun, wipes out literally all of the chaos forces around Itsa. And, you know, even in death, Croke still serves. Let's go. So, I mean, this is jumping in the gun, but there's a croak model.

But the croke model is for Sigma. So I'm assuming this is they've just changed up some things. Probably. And it's a different, like, world, isn't it, in a sense? or like universe Sigma I I I

oh shy has an explanation because I don't know about the seraphon to be to be honest with you I haven't really looked into them

I have I have done old world lizard men so shy if you want to drop an explanation in chat hey go for it

I saw the I saw what I think I saw when they revealed that model that croak model such a cool model and I was like

damn who the hell is that and so him like being alive but not being alive is like a little strange so I'm trying to, I'm trying to understand. If I had to guess, I would imagine they found a way to like,

wrangle his spirit or something. Like, oh, yeah, his spirit was still whirling around. And, oh, we found a way to get it into a croak body. And they rebuild him literally. Even in fantasy, they rebuild croak from torn body parts, saw him together, and his spirit came back into his dead body. So he's basically a mummy. That's, well, I mean,

All right, whatever, man. Yeah, sure. That's not the craziest Warhammer thing. That is not the craziest Warhammer thing, no. Granted, they did that to like sanguineous. I feel like, what the hell? But in this case, just put Ferris Manus's head back on. That's all you got to do?

Yeah, just sew it back on. Okay, that's kind of funny. I mean, I'm almost not even mad because that model is so killer. Yeah. But okay. Yeah. Go Crow. So that's all well and good for the Lizard men that they have,

managed to get chaos out of their little lustria patch, but the rest of the fantasy world are still trying to somehow deal with the overwhelming forces of chaos. Luckily, the high elves over in Uthwan, which is like, if you look at the map, that's like that continent that has like the big hole in the middle of it, they were working on something called the Great Ritual. And to make a long story very short, when you look at... look at a map or a depiction of the Warhammer fantasy world and you see Ulthwan, you'll see like this big spiral of like blue cloud shooting up out of the middle. It looks like this blue vortex. This was the site of the great ritual. And what this area in the middle does is, I mean,

more or less, it's a big old magical vacuum that sucks up all of this extra nasty energy, all of this extra chaos energy and just gets rid of it. And once this thing gets put into place, it swirls around and it sends chaos screaming back to hell since they have no energies to keep them in the physical world. So they kind of have to, ah. So it just like, it just like sucks magic out into space to like, you're like venting it in a way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. And again, that is a massive oversimplication of the great ritual, but I got to believe that's going to be something that we will talk in detail about when we do,

specifically a high elves video later. But again, sort of TLDR, a shitload of elves die trying to make this thing happen, but they make big magic vacuum and essentially banish a majority of the invading forces of chaos and essentially the great catastrophe has been sort of quelled. So things have settled down a little bit. Chaos, again, is it completely gone? No. But it is much more manageable now.

And, you know, as time goes on, the lesser races of the humans, elves, dwarves, and stuff, they're starting to make, you know, bigger technological steps. Shai also says, so Bricky's brain can understand this easier. This is the Horace Heresy of Warhammer Fantasy, explanation of how the world went from being mostly decent to screwed up mess of wild magic, chaos monsters, broken civilizations, and people barely holding on for dear life in a broken world. I guess my initial thought was like, it felt more like the war in heaven kind of explanation. I've heard that from a lot of people, yeah.

They both kind of work. It sounds like a war in heaven kind of deal. They both kind of work, honestly. Yeah, so this is kind of the initial starting event of what makes fantasy fantasy, basically. And why the Lizardmen are just the perfect first episode for this. No wonder they hate chaos so much. This makes a lot of sense. Yeah.

They make it their job to hate chaos. But so at this point, none of the other lesser races really. bother the Lizardmen too much. I mean, there's a lot of myth and mystery surrounding what people have heard rumors that, oh, that's the continent of lizard people. But because they live on Lustria and the surrounding lands of Lustria are still pretty completely morphed into a vile, treacherous hellscape because of what the Slawn did to try and keep chaos out, it's kind of hard to traverse those jungles and even get to the lizard men in the first place. Have the lizard men kind of like learn to live with this area in a way?

Oh yeah, absolutely. But the new problem for the lizard men is that there are literally no slon left from the first spawning. During the great catastrophe, every slon from the first spawning had perished. died. And it was the only ones that had communed with the old ones and really knew the finer details of the great plan were the first spawning slon. So another thing worth noting is that the slum that are left, right? Because of all the new energy and all the chaos stuff that was swirling around, that kind of penetrated the remaining Slawn's minds, and it kind of messed with their heads

a little bit. All that chaos energy kind of like, oh, man, brain's a little fuzzy. I'm not doing, I'm not having a great time remembering all the stuff that I used to. I'm not quite as strong as I was, but like, I'm okay. Also, because there's no first-gen spawn, there's no talking with the old ones, even though they pieced out anyway. So there's no talking. with it, but also the, like, they were the only ones that remembered the great plan as it should have been. So as you go further and further down the line, it's like, I don't remember what the great plan was. Do you? No, I remember basically pieces of it, but I don't remember how it goes.

So a lot of the times the remaining slon are, like, deep in, like, meditation, trying to figure out, like, what's going on. can I commune with an old one? Maybe they're hanging around somewhere and maybe I can contact them, or maybe I can glean divination about what I'm supposed to do. And a lot of the Lizard men's time now is spent looking around their old ruins for plaques or relics or stuff left over that they can like, okay, we'll translate this, this old plaque and be like, oh, this is, this mentions part of the great plan. We know what to do now. kind of thing. Sure. Okay.

So does that mean that because of all the chaos energies, do the Slawn have like, are they kind of like weird to hang out with? Or is that, do you mean more likely just forget things like the great plan? Because the way you said it, it made it sound like they're kind of getting a little, like they're getting a little cuckoo.

They're a little like, ooh, I'm a goofy man now. It's not weird to hang out with them. But like at this point, a lot of times they're just constantly meditating and they're constantly in this sort of deep sleep state. So they're not even really great rulers and a lot of times the lizard men get kind of frustrated

because it gets really hard to wake them up sometimes. It gets really hard to like force them out of their meditation and get them to actually lead. So the skinks at this point have kind of taken over the duty of actually leading the lizard men because they were the next in line. They're the next most capable lizardmen. They're the next smartest lizard men to actually, you know, tell people what to do. Because, you know, again, not really the lizardsman's fault, but since none of them remember how things are supposed to be, they get really kind of wrapped up in that. And also the, so the lizardmen religion is still very much so, oh yeah, we worship the old ones.

Every old one we met, we put on a high pedestal of literally being a god. Like, they have cities that are named after old, old ones, and they still, like, revere and worship the old ones as gods. It gets a little worse after the great catastrophe, because they're just, they go into, like, these ceremonies, they do these prayers, even though the old ones have pieced out. The old ones probably never wanted that, and then they start doing blood sacrifices, and they get very, very crazy religious towards like the old ones and stuff

like that. Despite the fact that they just totally dipped on them. Yep. Despite that, they still have just absolute religious fervor towards the old ones and the old gods and stuff like that. And, like I said, it should go without saying that the lizard

men, if there is even a whiff of chaos, they are fissed about it and they want to absolutely obliterate it off the face of the earth. Another thing to note is the lizard men are actually helping the elves maintain that big old swirling magic vacuum. Because the lizardmen realized like, you know what? The elves and that big vacuum, that's helping keep chaos out.

And boy, we sure do hate chaos. So they end up using, you know, what little remains of the geomantic web's energy to sort of like kind of funnel some energy into that great. ritual and help defend it. I'm pretty sure I read that the lizardmen like to keep this hush-hush because they don't want to admit that they're actually helping a lesser race than them. So again, lizard men actually pretty cooperative, not as genocity as I made them sound in the Skaven episode. Well, I mean, they were pretty genocity in the beginning.

Yeah, they were. In the beginning, they were very genocity, yeah, yeah. But they get better. I can fix him. Oh, wow, they've learned. They've grown as a person. I'm so sorry for all the comments I made earlier. I was locked in. Yeah, they were just locked in, man.

The old ones told me to do it. It's not my fault. They were just locked in. It's fine. Yeah, the old ones told me to it. It's fine. And this is kind of where the lizard men stay for a while, kind of hidden in the deadly forest and jungles of Lus. where they sort of impossibly try to somehow comprehend the great plan and the wisdom of the old ones. And like I said, you could go years without hearing from a slon because they are just so deep in their meditative sleep, trying to recall the great plan, trying to reconnect with the old ones and stuff like that.

And again, skinks basically the leaders at this point. and for like a super long time nobody really made any contact with the lizardmen because again the surrounding floor and fun of Lustria too treacherous there are a few instances of other races trying to explore Lustria but most of them end about as well as you would think

with them dying horribly in the forests at one point the high elves try to survive these brutal, harsh jungles and get through them. But the climate, I think the climate of Lestria makes them like really sick and overheated. The jungle is just ravaging them and it's just like, oh my God, what have we done? The lizard men eventually find them and like they, the lizard men bring the elves to a slon that's awake and they're like, hey, slon, are these guys supposed to be here? Like, does the great plan, do you remember the great plan saying anything about elves being in Lustria right now?

And the slon are like, nope, these guys do not belong here. Don't remember them at all. And the lizard men proceed to just beat the fuck out of them. And they let like a handful of them escape so that the elves can go back to Ulthuan and be like, yeah, you know what? Lustria, don't go there. Ever. Stay away. funny to me.

It's, this is, this got a lot of humorous stuff where just the elves are like, huh, Lustria and the lizard, and the lizard men just like, get out.

The beat, you don't belong here. Guys, I don't want to go there anymore. Fellas, let's not. Yeah, let's never do that.

Okay, okay, cool, cool. So I'm assuming that the lizard men have very much adjusted and adapted to their new environment. So fighting the lizard men

here is like fighting them in hostile territory that they themselves know? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. You definitely don't want to try fighting with the lizard men in Lustria. Bad idea. Something, something, something operation. Barboza? Shit. Shit. What's the name? Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. The history nuts are going to get mad at me. Crap. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. What's the... Well, hey, we can move on and we can pretend like you didn't mess up a history thing. Barbarosa.

Oh. I was so close. Even though these things keep failing, people do keep going to Lustria because it has this very, like Shai said, it has this very Eldorado vibe to it where people know that there's treasure there. And I guess I'll talk about that specific moment when the humans make their way over to Lustria. but it would not be a lizard man episode if I didn't talk about SOTEC. Because an interesting thing happens in the lands of Lustria. So they're still rummaging around looking for plaques, tablets, anything that they could really glean knowledge of the old ones from.

Like I said, their whole belief system revolves around worshipping the old ones as gods. But there is this new set of plaques that had been, discovered and found in one of their cities called Chakwa. And basically what these plaques said is that at some point, a terrible plague of two-legged vermin would infest their lands, that Chakwa in a bunch of temple cities would be destroyed. And when it seemed like all hope was lost, the serpent god would rise.

The serpent god Sotech would rise and save the lizard men from this plague. And so a lot of lizardmen start, you know, they're like, you know, SOTEC, huh? I mean, he sounds like a pretty good guy. Maybe we should start worshipping SOTEC. It's a very skink-favored idea to worship SOTEC. The Slon, however, hear about this, and they hear about SOTEC, and they're like, um, nobody ever told us about an old one called SOTEC. No one ever told us about a God called SOTC.

I don't know if we should worship that, guys. I don't know. That doesn't seem right. New Testament and Old Testament havers. Yeah, kind of. And so obviously, as you can tell, this sort of prophecy tells of the first encounter with the Skaven. And it's not like the Skaven just immediately come bursting out of a hole in the ground or something. It's kind of like there's this slow creeping sickness that starts affecting and killing lizardmen in Chakwa.

But like that sucks. But one of the more concerning things is that somehow this sickness has affected their spawn pools. And their spawning pools are getting all messed up too. Because the spawning pools, instead of churning out like, hooray, well-formed lizard men. These, like, diseased and malformed lizardmen start just crawling out and just kind of slumping over and dying after a few agonizing moments of life. And naturally, at this point, the lizard men are like, oh, shit, we got to figure this out because, wow, that's gross. And wow, that's not good for us. And so the lizardmen start looking around, patrolling, trying to figure out, like, where did this?

disease come from and why are our spawning pools all effed up and when they're looking around they find these ruins i'm not sure if the scaven destroyed this uh lizardman town and turned it to ruins or it was ruins from uh the great catastrophe guess it doesn't really matter but uh you know who they happen to find skithering around in these decrepit ruins could they possibly be rats oh they could be do you know what specific clan these rats might have come from. Ah, crap. I forget the clans. Is it the gray sear one?

No. So this is, this is like a plague, a two-legged plague vermin. Wait, oh, wait, sorry, the gray seers are like the leaders. They're not a clan. Oh, oh, is it pestilence? Yes, it's clare pestilence. Yes, that's, yeah, that's right. The ones with the bit, yeah, the one with the cool hood and the giant scepter of death.

Mm-hmm. this is sort of where the, where clan pestilence sort of comes and rises up, and they're rummaging around here spreading their nasty plague taint all over. And the lizard men are like, Rot-Rol, this seems like the prophecy of SOTEC might be coming true. And then, the lizard men did something, oh, so terribly stupid. because they do manage to, for the most part, fight off and make clan pestilence flee. But they had the bright idea of, you know what, let's take a couple of these clan pestilence scaven hostage.

You know, let's take them hostage, bring them back to the city, let's examine them, let's dissect them, let's otherwise study these plague-bearing rats, and maybe we can find a cure. Maybe we can find a cure for this noxious, disgusting sickness, and we can start breeding lizardmen again from the spawning pool so that they don't immediately die. You want to take a wild guess how that turns out, Bricky? I'm starting to assume that maybe the lizardmen come out a little weirder. Well, essentially what happens is that the scaven hostages from clan pestilence, they brought all that yummy disease and sickness with them and they were brought right to the middle of Chakwa

and so essentially the sickness and the plague gets a million times worse because there's now a source of it sitting right in your literal backyard and the sickness actually gets so bad that the sland leadership of Chakwa end up getting sick and dying from this super disease and sickness that is now ripping through the city. I love how they deal with the chaos thing that you can't make any more slon, and then the rats arrive, and they're just like, let's poison them. Yeah, and with the sloan leaders of Chakua anyway, all dead from illness, their own, the illness that was brought by literally their own people,

it fell in the skinks to actually lead the remaining survivors of the city. And it would be this, a skink priest who is named, oh boy, I'm going to butcher. His name is Tehen Howan? Oh, God. T-E-H-E-H-E-N-H-A-N-H-A-N-T-H-A-N-H-H-A-N-H-E-H-A-N-H-H-A-N-H-H-A-N-H-H-H-H-H-N-H-Eh-H-N-K peundtIC-T-E-L-L-E-L-E-Lazardman that would listen. He's like, guys, look at what happened at Chaka-C-W-E-B-C-E-Ca-C-P-Legg. Look at the tablets. The tablets foretold this.

We must appease SOTEC. We must rise and worship Sotek to rid the scavened hoard from our lands. I find it humorous that the teeny ones are the ones that are becoming like, because obviously the only ones remaining that are like particularly intelligent outside of the slon, right? Yep, they are. They essentially become the leadership of the lizard men. Yes. So all the, all the small, like, skittering ones.

ones have become the prophets, which is just really silly. Yep. And another thing that these tablets and plaques say that if you were to slaughter and kill enough Skaven, Sotek would be so appeased that he would come down to this realm himself and rid you of the Skaven hordes. And just so we're 100% on this, this is an old one, which have all bailed. supposedly because these are so they don't know if this is actually an old one or not they just know that there are plaques that say that so tech is a new god he will save you from the scaven i guess

they can assume it might be an old one but oh okay they they pretend it's an old one so they aren't called heretics okay ah lovely but so yeah the idea is they need to kill a enough Skaven in order to sort of appease SOTEC and make him show himself. Yeah, SOTEC is the god of serpents. And hey, good news.

There's going to be plenty of opportunities to kill Skaven because these little rat bastards start popping up all over Lustria and all, I think all over the fantasy world in general. Like they're just popping out of their little burrow holes all over the place. And the Skaven and the, lizard men would be locked in bloody war and bloody combat for the next 100 years.

Bad ass. All the small lizards are like, I hate, the gods say we have to kill as many rats as we can. What a great concept is like, God needs a body count. Let's do it. Yeah. And I don't know how many specifically the, uh, uh, they need to kill. I think I saw, it might have been the wiki that was like, yeah, it needs to be like at least a million scavin.

And after what happened at Chakwa, the lizard men are like, oh, bet, let's go. They're showing up all over the place. Oh, let's start the body count. I need exactly 100 Nazi scalps. How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, practice, practice. They're just practice, isn't it? I thought it was practice, whatever.

Yeah, whatever. You get the point. So, Tettin Howan was basically leading the Lizard Man war charge, because again, Slon are like, um, I don't know about this. This is, this is kind of weird to me. I don't remember anything about Sotech. You say he's an old, I don't, I don't really know. So they're kind of racked with indecision.

They're meditating. And so, again, it falls to Tettin Howan to sort of rally the troops and make them sort of fight and do all that good stuff. And after a hundred years of blood-soaked war, Teton Howan was like, guys, we know what the prophecy says about making sure that we kill enough scavin, right? So you know what? Let's get all of our scavin prisoners. And you know what? We're going to make us a big ass blood sacrifice to Sotech. We're going to get as many scavin as we can into this one area. And we are going to have ourselves a ritualistic blood sacrifice. How many scavin were it taken prisoner?

I'm surprised they even took any scavin prisoner in general because I thought they just wanted kill as many as they could. I did not find an exact number of scavin that Tett and Howen slaughtered and offered up. But at the sight of this immense massacre, there is a river. And that river became just completely filled with blood. by the time Taten Howen was done. This river was now a blood river. No more water.

This river, it's blood. It's Skaven blood. Normally I wouldn't be like based, but after learning about the Skaven, I'm kind of like based. Kind of. The Skaven being evil rat bastards. It's kind of like, eh, you know what? That's fine. Also, this is like the Luserman have had a particularly great time lately.

So. Oh, yeah, yeah. From what I've looked up, after this big blood sacrifice was done, suddenly, like, the morale of the lizardmen just bolsters. And from what I've heard, literally a horde of snakes manifests and actually goes into all of the Skaven little burrow holes and actually starts killing Skaven on mass. And it is driving them out of their little rat holes and really just kind of withering away their furrow holes. forces. So now, Tat and Howan is like, oh, dude, the scavin ranks are broken. The rat nests are gone. They are getting torn apart by snakes. We just killed. God knows how many of them in a ritualistic sacrifice. Burrow, we are on the cusp of getting rid of the rat plague from Lustria. All hail

Sotech. Wait, so in a sense, Sotech actually must be real then. Or like, some, thing like that because it worked and all the snakes arrived. Mm-hmm. Okay. In a sense. And then... The scaven... The escape with the tablet was right.

Yeah, well? And then the Skaven did the most Skaven thing ever. So, Clan Pestlans knows that they're like super F at this point. And they're like, dude, we got to get out of here. We got some ships on the coast. We just need to bail because this is bad. This is turned really bad. And so they're trying to retreat to the coast and make it to their ship so they can flee.

But the lizard men, they are making things easy. So the leader of clan pestilence, a rat named Lord Nurgletch, got one fourth of this. Sorry, that's just, that's, wow. Okay, lovely. We have Croke and Lord Nurgletch. Nergletch, yeah, all right. He got one fourth of his forces to meet the lizard men head on. He's like, guys, come on, this is a new strategy.

You hit them from the front, and then all of us are going to like flank them and do a pincer movement or something like that. We're going to get him. We're going to get him. And so one fourth of his forces go, and they're like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, yeah, we're going to get you. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And Lord Nurgulich instead is just like, idiots, and just leaves, leaves them. They act as a decoy. Lord Nurglitz and his forces make it to the coast, get on the ships, and just bail.

And he just sacrificed one-fourth of his scaven army so this rat bastard can get away. That's such a scavin, scavin thing to do. It is the most scavin thing you could have done in that moment. Now, according to the skinks that were present, as Lord Nerglich and his scavin, were getting on their boats and sailing away, according to the skinks that were there. Literally, SOTEC himself comes screaming out of a volcano,

and he is going on a rampage, killing the remaining Skaven, and then Sotek himself, Rah, dives into the ocean to chase down the remaining Skaven, who were running from the lands of Lustria. I can't pronounce Tehen Howen must be like The smuggest asshole of all time right now

It's like, God damn I was so right Yeah Oh I didn't I somehow missed that point shy That after the blood sacrifice The skink worshippers of Sotech became immune to Skaven plagues

Oh Huh So that's a big deal So do we have any like images of SOTEC? I don't know. I don't know if we have anything. Oh, no. Damn. I don't think so. Yeah, unfortunately. And as you can imagine, after this,

the Lizardmen as a whole, Slan and all are just like, yeah, you know what? Sotec can be a new god. Yeah, we're totally cool with that. Yeah, no problem. All of us. Yeah, you know what? So tech, welcome to the God Club. I hope you enjoy your stay. And it should also go kind of without saying that the Skaven and lizard men now super hate each other. So the rat and the lizard, what a surprise, they hate each other.

Shocking development, right? And just one final story here, because we sort of have the backbone of lizard men culture here and sort of what they've been through and what they're doing. There's more to them, but we could be here all day. So we're just one more story about when the humans made their way to the coasts of Lustria. Specifically, these are Norse humans from a place called Norseca. I believe it's a continent to the...

Sorry. Sorry, yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And for the most part, when the Norse made it to Lustria, they stuck to the coasts. Because they found out, like everybody finds out, that the jungles and rainforests of Lustria, that's a good way to get yourself killed.

Plus, the surrounding coast had plenty of ruins for them to safely pillage, and they found a ton of gold and treasures to take home with them. And for the most part, Lizardmen, they didn't care. They would care if they found out that there was a plaque in your treasury. Like, I think there were a couple instances where they actually came out from the jungle, and they were like, hey, give me that plaque. And then they let them take the rest of the treasure and let them leave in peace. But the problem is the men of the North were really, really, really greedy.

And they legit start making settlements on the coast of Lustria. Like, they make their home on the coast. Lizardmen, again, for the most part, they don't care. As long as you don't touch our temple cities, as long as you're not messing with the plaques and the ruins that we're trying to find, If you leave that undisturbed and leave us in our territory, whatever, do your thing, don't care. We really don't care about that treasure. And the other thing to know about the Norse is that they were 100% chaos worshippers. And they started to praise chaos on the shores of Lustria.

And they started doing some funky chaos rituals, and apparently it got so bad that there's this slon, named Lord Jill, that's like, he, he comes out of meditation and he's like, hey, something don't smell right. Something on the shores don't smell right. And I don't like that. So, wait, these are Nor, so these are like chaos Vikings? Because there's a Norse in a way. Yeah, they're kind of chaos Vikings.

That's kind of cool. I mean, just looked at picture shy posted. That's shy. Well, when I first thought of like, no, Kislev is more like, um, like, like, uh, uh, uh, Slavic, right? Because I was thinking like cold people and that's, uh, yeah, that's, that's different. Never mind. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So, so, so, so, so a salon wakes up and it's like, uh-oh. Yeah, something don't feel right. I've felt this before and I don't like it.

I don't like it. Uh, so they start like investigating everything and they start, you know, sending out search parties and, uh, they find that in some abandoned ruins, uh, there is literally, a demon prince that has taken up residency in one of their spawning pools, and it was trying to sort of marinate in this pool, and it was trying to heal itself. I think that it had, I'm pretty sure I read on the wiki that this demon prince actually had like a magic elven knife sort of stuck in its side that it was trying to like heal itself from,

because its guts were like glowing blue from this elven night. And the lizard men try to finish the job and kill this thing, but this demon prince literally calls a just flood of crimson-colored demons that were really given the lizard men a problem. So much so that the lizard men had to retreat and they had to pray to SOTEC once more. And believe it or not, again, their prayers are answered. and another sea of serpents, basically identical to what happened to the scavens show up, they turn the tide of battle, and this swarm of snakes actually completely covers the demon prince,

biting the hell out of him, injecting him with so much poison that even this demon prince could not survive. Demon prince dies, all the chaos spons die with it, and the humans are like, oh shit, we got to get out of here. And that was the humans encounter with the shores of Lustria. Oh, the humans. It sounds less like the humans.

The chaos humans, yeah. Yeah. And that's, I think that's a pretty decent stopping point for the Lizardmen. Like I said, this will most assuredly not be the last Lizard Men episode. There's still more stuff to go into. There's end times. There's age of Sigmar. In Age of Sigmar, they're not even called the Lizard Men anymore.

Well, actually, yeah, they're basically not even called the Lizard Men anymore. They're the seraphon. And a couple things change for them, but they transition into end times pretty decently. So I, right shot, I think this is a solid stopping point for the Lizardmen. We've covered the important, like, world shaping events of the Lizard Men. So obviously my 40K-pilled brain is like, okay, this is kind of like the necrons in the sense. Like this is kind of where it all started. This is the contingent, the initial point of all the shenanigans.

And okay. And so this is where, interesting. So are the seraphan, not seraphon, the loser men are still very much contained to lustria, the land of riches. come on God damn it Until someone Until someone tries to come in

And mess with them They are pretty much self-contained Yeah Oh also Lord Joel That sland The slan that I mentioned He dies when the demon prince Dies because he was like

Trying to fend off The demon prince's mental advances It was so exhausting That when the demon prince died So did Lord Joel They gotta stop losing so many sloan It's not They really do

You can't You can't You can't Shai, how many spawnings of Slaan were there? There was like, it was like five or six spawnings of them. And then it's like, well, we can't make anymore. So they're, they're kind of a rarity. You don't, you don't want to lose them, especially now.

Especially now. But yeah. Oh, Lizzymen. Bok, bach, bach, bach, bach, bach. Bac, bach, bach. Why do they have chicken sounds? I'm not really sure. Yeah.

Like Shai said, for the most part, after the great catastrophe, they degenerate. generated quite a lot, lost a lot of their land, their places of death trap in general, and they even found a new god in Sotech. Yep. Lizard men. All right. Well, I mean, it sounds like they got out of here, like, well, no, I'm not going to say they got out of here relatively unscathed, but they got out of here with at least some dubs. They, they definitely came out of this scathed. Definitely they were scathed. Multiple scathings. They were certainly scathed, but they had some bits, you know?

Yeah, they survived. They're still thriving, question mark. They're still good, you know. Okay, we don't really need to go into thriving, but like, they, they got a new god. The god is chilling, having a fine time, being kind to them, you know, like, like doing what they need. They're doing their sacrifices. Are they still, like, really big into, like, murdering rats? Oh, sure.

They hate the scaven. But, like, everyone hates the scavin, though. Yeah, but they're like blood enemies now, especially after what happened to Chokwa. And like Chalkua literally fell because of the Skaven being rat bastards. And they were in a hundred year war with them. So they are like blood rivals now. Because, you know, it's the typical imagery of the snake versus the rat, right? Yeah, that makes sense.

So they are, they are like, the top two on the Lizardman hit list is like, chaos. and then Skaven are pretty close under that. I think they would, if they could only wipe out one, they'd probably wipe out chaos, as most people would, but Skaven are real close. So if you were to, if you were to be like, okay, modern day lizard men, like you're playing your lizard men in fantasy right now or whatever.

Well, not anymore, I guess, but you know what I mean. You're doing like your fantasy currently or whatever. I'm assuming that a lot of your stuff will evolve around worship, of SOTEC, snakes, a lot of the skinks are like a lot of the more character-heavy people and then like an occasional salon here and there. I would imagine so.

I mean, I don't, like I said, I don't know a whole lot about the tabletop, but if I had to guess, I would almost guess that like your armies would probably be very slon-based if you could, right? You would want, you would want, like, your main force would be like a slon, and then you probably want a bunch of little chittering skinks

and then you probably want like big Hulkers, I guess. I gotta believe it revolves around the sloan because the slaw are just so fucking important, right? I mean, I imagine that you have like one of them in your list or something because it's like a big... I mean, I'm looking... You got a big old croak! Dude, Croke's model is just so good.

Yeah. Shai says it depends on tabletop, original, Age of Sigma, it was Slon as main figure and rest of dudes as support. If Slon ties you're effed, right now they're more balanced. That's fair. I guess in Old World Warhammer, you probably would, or at the beginning of Age of Sigma, you probably would have Slon as the main figure, because that's kind of how they worked. That was like their main, like, you don't mess with a slon.

A slon will absolutely fuck you up. It doesn't make sense, like general time frame. I have a fair point. All right, all right, interesting. I thought lizard men would be a bit more because I think I thought you said before they were like really into themselves they thought they were like

the greatest thing of all time and they kill everyone else or something or maybe I got confused with a difference Well that was that was in the Skaven episode where I had a very not well informed idea of what the lizard men were Fair I've made I've made mistakes Fair point All right fair point

I had like a one-sentence description of the lizard man, and I was like, ah, sure, we'll throw that in. But yeah, they're a little different than what I mentioned in this gavin episode, for sure, for sure. More than anything, I find the, the, they're just like, I find their models to look really, really good. Oh, yeah. And they, they seem, they see, so cool. They ride on, like, dinosaurs and stuff.

It's very cool. They seem pretty neat. I don't think I've been, like, converted. They're pretty cool. They're need-o. I'm not sure if I'm like, damn, I love the lizard men the most. Yeah, I'm still predominantly even at, like, I like the lizard men. I like a lot of stuff that I learned.

They have a lot of weird stuff, but I think I still like the scaven better. I think I'm still, I'm still a, I think I'm still a, yes, yes, north the warpstone, uh, kind of guy. The rats are so funny. So I like, I like, I like, so. I've never been like a massive like magic kind of person so I can see like a bunch of magic Okay I will say though the idea of a bunch of magic lizards is just kind of really cool I will say that line with their little with their little hover crafts their little hover platforms Yeah the the the mobility scooter toads yep

All right now go kill chaos and croak