Adeptus Ridiculous - NACHMUND RIFT: WAR OF NIGHTMARES | Warhammer 40k Lore

Episode Date: August 7, 2024

https://www.patreon.com/AdeptusRidiculoushttps://www.adeptusridiculous.com/https://twitter.com/AdRidiculoushttps://orchideight.com/collections/adeptus-ridiculousVigilus is a world situated within the Nachmund Gauntlet and one of the few passages through the Great Rift. As such, the planet has become strategically vital for the Imperium and has become a target for a wide number of its enemies.The Nachmund Rift War is an ongoing conflict being waged by the Imperium in the Nachmund Sub-Sector.Closely connected to the War of Beasts and War of Nightmares on Vigilus, while the Fortress World itself continues to remain largely in Imperial hands the greater Nachmund Gauntlet finds itself besieged by the Forces of Chaos.Support the show

the Adeptus Ridiculous podcast. My name is D.K. Diamanties. His name is Bricky. And ooh, love that feeling of a grim, dark Wednesday. But before we get into that, if you enjoy today's episode and maybe you want to support us, head over to the Patreon, patreon.com slash Adeptus Ridiculous, where you can get access to the Discord, bloopers if they happen. $15 cheer gets you access to all of our posters in crispy HD digital form. Patreon.com slash adeptus ridiculous. Brickie. supplementary information, please. Indeed. Go ahead and check out Orchid8.com. We have lots of great merch, including lots of the little guy shirts and hoodies. We've got dice. We've got

the amazing Arsland of Angels desk mat that I'm currently using at the moment and now also have one at the office because they're mine and I can use them anywhere. Lots of great merch stuff. Check it out in the description. Also, we are doing, we're going to get the episode out. for our book club is Horace Rising. Make sure you read Horace Rising. It is kind of a crime that we haven't yet. Well, read it in general, but also, like, well, we wait to the end. Anywho, because it's going to be fresh in the mind.

But yeah, make sure you give it a read. I genuinely believe that good old Horace Rising, at least from what I've heard, is as good as it is, is like half the read. in Warhammer is successful because when the first book of the you know most important event of Warhammer happens yeah the fact that it's good

is very important like it's like Ironman being so good as a film like thank God for that because if it wasn't we probably wouldn't be here yeah how if Iron Man was bad how could we have Avengers Doomsday? Is that what it's called next? Yeah it's like I think it's called Doomsday and oh my God he's bad

Listen, they had a wild 10 years, and it was a great 10 years. It had its ups, it had its downs, but it was a good 10 years. Yeah, yeah, it's definitely on the downward trend, though, so yeah. Yeah, yeah, I know. But you know what's not on the downward trend? Warhammer! Warhammer, no. You know, even despite the growing popularity of our fun little hobby,

and it's slowly encompassing a bit more of a mainstream environment. The quality of the writing has a knot gone down. It is still pretty good. Yeah, most of the recent stuff, pretty good. Pretty good. Yeah, pretty good. Many of the recent books have been very good. The general world is pretty good.

It has its usual problems being that it's Warhammer and it's insane. But, you know, for the most part, we're sticking solid. and why not continue that chat and that trend by talking about something a bit more modern. Ooh, a more modern Warhammer thing. Okay, I was about to ask, is this modern lore? Is this modern mini? What are we, what are we doing here? I guess, so it's modern lore.

I guess there is, in fact, a modern mini to go along with it, which is always neat. but yeah I think I think for the most part this is the best time for it all and I do have a quote for you I warn you

I will You won't get it Like In general You just won't get this one Because it's not one That you know what this is But it's a fun quote

So You know It's Dante obviously It's Dante And the a service stud-shaped penis on his forehead and why he doesn't remove his mask because of it. You know, Blood Angels actually got a brand-new miniature release today. Oh, just today, really?

Well, a reveal. Oh, what was it? It's a new apothecary guy and a new captain, which is pretty funny because the captain image, it looks like it's literally the Chad meme. Like, if you just take his face out. Oh wow, that is literally just the Chad meme It's just the Chad meme They took away his nipples though, man

Oh, I'm sorry, Bricky He doesn't have robo nipples anymore on his armor I mean the whole like Dante angelic I mean if he's gonna have If he's gonna have armor pecks and armor abs Can you at least keep the armor nipples? Right, also I didn't realize How pronounced the wing on their armor was

Like that is a very pronounced wing on his shoulder Well, that's a captain, so he's a bit fancy. Oh, okay, that's a captain thing. Okay, okay, cool. Anywho, not to get off topic too much. Here is the quote. It's from the opening of this little mini book thing. They say the spoiler fled.

They say the monster took his minions and scurried away in fear. Why then does St. Haven still burn? Why has no word come from Dantoria for months? Why do nightmares still swarm the sky? guys. They say the war is almost over, that the holy task of the space marines is concluded, and they now spread the emperor's light to more distant worlds. Why then does darkness and horror close in ever more like a death shroud? Why does it feel as though they are leaving a lost cause and not a saved realm? They say the god emperor's warriors killed all the orcs in the sprawl,

threw them from the walls and pounded those that remain in the wastes until death. Why them do few forces yet dare to cross that arid wilderness, why do those that do never return? I could whisper a victory to the shades of my dead comrades, honoring their memory and sacrifice, but I cannot tell it to myself, not when I know we are lost, not when I tremble through night after bloody night, not when the rift grows closer. Final journal entry of Lieutenant Asker Berengar, 125th vigilant garb employed as post-sentence evidentiary item 34 dash l i in support of his execution for cowardice that's that that last part is necessary his execution for cowardice it's so necessary oh my god that's great uh yeah i have no idea uh what this is about at all honestly i'm just i'm just

happy that you're fine with saying it because i knew you wouldn't get it and it's just like it's all over the place. Yeah, it seems like some sort of chaosy thing, but then it also seems like a specific chapter thing, maybe, but I got no, I got nothing. That's fine. It is,

it is an important thing in the world of, well, the world to know when to give up and move on. You got no one to hold them. No one to fold them. Mm-hmm. So today, we are doing another one of those little battle, kind of supplement

book excerpts. This one is on the Gondlet, also known as the Gnachman War. Knockman is spelled N-A-C-H-M-U-N-D, Knock-M-D.

Knock-M-D. This is part one of two. I want to chat about. It's not a particularly crazy thing, but it is good old

it's a fun little thing to chat about, and it's very recent. This is in late 9th edition. I actually remember, I think, buying this book. Okay. I don't know if I still have it. But I definitely bought the second version of it.

That's right. You said 2022, right? I didn't. I didn't. Damn, that was like two years ago. A little over two years ago. Absolutely. Very recent.

But it is very, very recent. And it's a fun little topic to chat about because it, I think, how, how, it fleshes out a bit more of the logistics and world that we're currently experiencing in the modern day Warhammer and all of its importance. Okay. So let's explain a little bit about what it is. We are starting off with the book, Vigilus alone, as a lot of this will take place on the planet of Vigilus. So the Nakhman Gauntlet.

The Gautman Gauntlet and what Vigilus is. As I'm sure you are aware, Abidon, kind of, kind of a chat at times. Sometimes, yes, especially during 13th Black Crusades and stuff. He does a bit of, he has a little bit of Chad behavior. He has a little on that Sigma male grinds that, sure, sure. Love the single brain cell once again. I say Abidon, kind of a Chad, shy, immediately posts a picture of Cadia broken. Yeah, I don't think that takes.

That's correct. That doesn't take a single brain cell to be like, oh, yeah. Abadon and think, ah, yes, Cadia being broken, right? That's, I think everybody's mind immediately went there, right? Yes, very much so. And during his incredible breaking of Cadia,

he blew open the eye of terror and created the Sycatrix Maledictum, also known as the Great Rift. That it is. And as we know, with the cicatrix maledictum, any kind of communication and especially travel across this great rift is not impossible, but holy hell.

That's going to be a hell of a trip. It is a hell of a trip. It's basically impossible. You got to find one of those really kind of slim spots, right? Because you're not passing right through the middle. Nope. No, definitely not. I mean, that's already like the galactic core.

There's already its own issues. You got to find a soft spot. Yes, everyone, as Shai posted in this map, Everyone in the dark area is boned to all hell. Oh, yeah, they're super screwed. And however, with this being said, as we know, you can get some psychic signals in, but very, very few. It's really damn hard. Your head will probably explode.

And as we know about the aspects of warp travel, traveling through the red area is basically like flying a plane through a thunderstorm, but the thunderstorm is alive and we'll eat you. Yeah, I was going to say. It's like flying a plane through literally the worst conditions imaginable, and you shouldn't be flying now. Don't fly in these conditions. Land the plane. And even worse than that, the conditions are not just nature. It is malevolent. The conditions, the weather hates you in particular.

And it has very sharp teeth. It's very sharp teeth. And it wants to eat you and consume everything you are. Yeah. Exactly. And now on this is also, I mean, you know this, but it might be. we should really have an episode on just like the logistics of warp travel. I think that would be really fun.

Oh, yeah, yeah. But traveling from one area to another area of space, because a lot of times people are like, why does having like various lines and defenses and areas of space matter? Because in reality, you're opening up a portal and just entering into a brand new area. Like, in a sense, there shouldn't be like a blockade. You just kind of arrive, you know?

There's no stopping. But in reality, traveling in the warp and traveling in general in space does still take time. You know, it might be, God knows how many thousands of light years away, warp travel might make you take it in a week. Whereas maybe it might take a month if you're a farther, you know, thing. And so you can maybe say go around the Great Rift. It's going to take time, though. like you don't just forever snap around

especially if you're like say in the middle of the map ish and it's like oh yeah just go all the way around to the east just go all the way around or it's like oh just go all the way around the west so you can go all the way back around to that one spot on the edge

it's like okay that's not realistic at all good luck hope you have fun no it is very much like traveling in the ocean, but obviously with much more difficult issues, which is why, you know, certain planets can actually be bastion planets because not only is the planet covered in guardsmen or defenses or whatever, but there are multiple other imperial worlds near it and their response time

is there for like three days. And that's great. And that makes it a very strong part. Now, with that being said, this insane cicatrix maledictum really has ruined a lot of things and blocked off half the galaxy, except for two spots. There are technically two areas in the Great Rift that you can cross through. Now, if you would like to scroll up and look at that green version of the map, I would like you to take a look at a book. about the not quite bottom right, but like middle right. You might see words that say Cylia Prime, Corinth, the Yimga monolith. You might see, if you zoom in two tiny little black dots that say temporary rift corridor. Oh, yeah.

Wow. Yeah, if you hadn't to mention exactly where that was, I would not have seen that. It is definitely a very tiny little spot there. That's one of them. Oh, I see the other one up by the Bellis Corolla. The other two little ones. Do you see what's right above Velskrona? Yeah, the Nacchman Gauntlet.

The Nacchman Gauntlet. They chose a poor color font to put right on top of that green Sychakitx Maledictum part. Yeah, putting a green font on top of the green warp storm was not a great call, no. Yeah, that should have been like a red or a blue or something. But yeah, anyway, I see it. I see it. Excellent.

And if you look at this other map, you can notice this is the Nockman subsector. And you can see that the ability to move through the Psychiatrix Maledictum is very thin. Yeah, just a little bit. A little bit. Yeah, but hey, it is a way. It is a way. And it is, therefore, in order for the Imperium and many other races to do a decent job at keeping themselves alive in this area, it must be kept open. You need, you need to Jonesy that thing?

Jonesy? Goatsy. You need a goatsey that thing. Oh no. Oh, I was so much happier when I didn't understand what the fuck you were talking about. I was struggling with the phrasing.

Can we go back in ten seconds to just calling it Jonesy again and not the prolapsing meme? Ah. Oh, man. Look at me looking at the eye of terror to two of Avedon's gauntlets pulling apart. Oh, no. The center of the cicatrix maledictum, just a goatee meme.

Oh, it's awful. Oh, it's terrible. Why would you do this? It's pretty terrible, yeah. Somebody's got a case of the Mondays. She. I'm having, listen, listen, dude, I had my first, like, real intentional day off in, like, a decade yesterday. and I'm revitalized, brother.

Damn, okay. So a revitalized Bricky gets us goatsy memes, great. A revitalized Bricky is pulling that shit apart, brother. I'm like, man, it's great that you had a day off, but like, oh, man, can we go back to overworked Bricky if it means not getting the ghosty meme? Damn, he wants me to cry. Sorry, Bricky. It's good that you have days off. I saw that shy.

I saw that shy. I saw the Japhif. I saw the epic Mbad failure. Oh, did she epic Mbad failure? I saw it. I saw it. Okay. So, uh, uh,

Nacemond, gauntlet is, it needs to be kept open. Imperium needs to like, uh, keep it open a la goatee meme so that they can travel back to and fro. Hold on.

I need to send this real quick. Okay. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice.

All right. So, correct. Yes, the knockman gauntlet, very, very important. This shit needs to stay open. All right. Like a waffle house needs to stay open. It doesn't. Now, naturally, when this is a major bastion of the Imperium, as chaos can more or less just kind of move in and out to and fro, you can go ahead and expect who might think this would be a great place to mess around. in. Literally everybody, every force of chaos. Abadon would probably think this is a nice little spot to lock down and go over humanity. Correct. Yes. I mean, you're actually just right in every single aspect. Turns out everyone wants to be a part of this pie, particularly Abadon, don't get me wrong. But basically everyone wants to be a part of this. I mean, if they play their cards, right, this just becomes a killing field, right? Because it's just like, oh, yeah, let's put all of our

chaos forces right in this little area where they have to come through. And it's like, well, good luck getting through. We're putting bloodthirsters. We're putting lords of change. We're putting great unclean ones in here. Have fun, Imperium, because n uh, you're not getting through. Hell yeah. That is the official artwork of this vigilis campaign. And, uh, as you can tell. They're all there. Yeah. They're all there. They have stacked a few people in there. Yeah. You can see on the bottom right hand corner, there is an ultramarine getting his face blown off by a bolt pistol and like the most hilarious looking aspect.

Oh, you love to see it. You love to see it. You love to see it. Anywho, yes. So with all of that being said, it is the big man's time to do all the shenanigans. and we start off the knockman gauntlet on the planet of Vigilus. Vigilus, if you look at the, I'm certain, yeah, there it is. If you look at the map from earlier, it is on the top right.

It is clearly, evidently, the main choke point entering in the safe lay line of travel. Okay, okay, Vigilus, gotcha. You might also, if there's a little legend on the bottom right that says, tides of the Imperian. It says, the, estimates the great riffs danger, which is like,

you can see the white areas are all pharum, real space. And then there's like some slight fluctuations and then some other weirdness going on there. And then, of course, the black is the maledictum

and it's literally got faces. Yeah, yeah, but vigilists and the vigilist system. Yeah. And the vigilist system is the main point. So most of our stuff is

happening on vigilis. Now, there's whispers of why this area of Knockman and the Vigilus Gauntlet, or Knockman Gauntlet and Vigilus is working out. The main theory is that for some reason it's stable due to these weird pylons all around it. So chalk another dub up for our boys in silver.

I was going to say, more necrone shenanigans, huh? Okay, okay. Also, how, how, I don't know, you're probably going to explain this, but how exactly are they keeping this little roadway, this gauntlet open? Like, because you said they have to like goate see it. So they must be doing something to like keep this thing pride open or is it just a naturally occurring like gauntlet that just. Oh, no.

I'm saying they have to goad see it because they need to like, it's a good thing to keep it open. They're not, okay. You took me to that a little literally. They're not actually go seeing it open. it happens to be open most likely due to those necron pylons keeping it open Oh, I thought you meant things in vigilis

were stable because like, oh yeah, we might be that close to the cicatrix maledictum but we're not all lost because the pylons are keeping vigilis open. I didn't realize that's what was probably keeping the gaunt. That's what I said. Well, you know what? I didn't hear it right because I didn't get much sleep last night.

So let's just move on and pretend like I didn't say that. There's a giant rift in the galaxy. This part is slightly open. thanks to some Necron pylons. Therefore, the Imperium needs to make sure this place is clear and open because it's super important. Therefore, they will, using the forces of military might, goate see it. Right. Gotcha.

Excellent. We are not goate seeing it from the warp. We are goate seeing it in terms of a safe area to travel. We are stationing guards. We are using forge worlds and fortress worlds. And we are keeping people out. Okay. Cool.

Cool, cool, cool. With that being said, however, Vigilus is clearly in a spot that's not very good because this is post-Sichotrix maledictum. So the war has arrived and come to Vigilis. And it starts like it always does with orcs. Of course, of course. Got to have the green skins.

Orcs, huge dub. The orcs decide to immediately invade because they just felt like it, because they're orcs, they don't need a reason, and decide to slam down. down on the planet with a massive volume of their own ships killing about half of them.

And by half of them as in their own their own, their own, like, orc people. Yeah, yeah. And like it's a lot of humans, but, you know. Yeah, but orcs don't care. Orcs don't care. Classic, classic orc dumb. Orcs smash into there with a massive volume of, you know, funny orc vessels, space hulks and the like.

And immediately them start attacking them with lots of speed freaks. They're pretty big, I believe, on the red goes Fasta in this group, because in vigilis, as also posted above, there are, on the planet one, that is, there are lots of, like, hive sprawls.

You could see there you've got Storval, Dantoria hive sprawl, mega borealis with a giant city poking out, etc. And then you might also notice a large area of orc, spots like Fort DACA and Scumtown and Duelhub. Yeah, those are a little orky, sure.

Yeah. So the orcs set out, because those are the wastes. And in the wastes, the orcs have for the most part taken it over and are constantly sending out speed freak things to, you know, crump some humis. As they do, as orcs do, sure. As the humans set up their defenses to stop them and maintain all of their hive cities, away from the green skin menace, the orcs will then very often

take different versions of their own cities to turn into more mechs or loot the tanks that are sent out to attack them and then turn them into also more mechs because these are orcs. Of course, of course. The ongoing green skin invasion has decided to wake up

a very specific group of individuals directly underneath vigilists. These are the pauper princes. Are you familiar with the pauper princes, D.K.? Do you remember who these are? Oh, that sounds so familiar. I feel like we have talked about them, and I should know them, but I do not remember them. That is fine.

The pauper princes are a side sect of the Gene Steeler Colts. Oh, yeah, we totally did talk about them. It's a specific name of a Jeem Steeler Colt. It's fine. If I told you what Stigies 8 was, would you know what that is? No, it's a random, it's an admec forge world. It doesn't matter. Don't worry about it.

I was going to say for the people, you should remind them because obviously I would remember, but just for the fans at home that maybe aren't as in the know as I am, you know, you know. He hit me with the Emperor's Legion of the Third Legion. That's fine. Anyway, so the Gene Steeler Colts have had and prepared for a two full century-long uprising, or as they often say, a planned generations in the making. and this gene stealer cult invasion has sprung up beneath vigilis and attacked most of their hive cities. Now, that blows.

Yeah, so they have an orc incursion where orcs slam down into them and they have the Gene Steeler cult uprising. That just happens to happen on the same time span. Basically. And that sucks, right? That's pretty awful. It would be like really bad. If for some reason, in addition to that, the polar regions of the planet were then considered to be a great spot for a Droukari rating. Oh, and that's exactly what happens, isn't it?

And I mean, listen, you know, those slaves aren't going to take themselves. Yes, true. Those slaves aren't just going to walk themselves to Kamara and do my bidding and get into the gladiatorial pits. Like, you know. Yeah, let's put in the legwork. Light work? Light work. Light work. A lightweight baby. Lightweight baby. Easy. So yeah, they decide to steal everyone from that, of course. Of course.

Lovely, lovely stuff. Now, that really bad. So demons arrive. As they do. As they do. Everybody just arrives at the same time. Orc show up. Gene Stealer Uprising's your car. You're like, oh, we need to replace. the slave stocks, and then demons are just like, oh, well, if everybody else is here, why not us? And they just kind of join the party for, okay, cool, cool. Yeah, it's very simple. The demons then arrive, and they start to send out Nurgle's blessing. Poxwockers start to roam the hive cities. The death guard Marines are seen spreading pestilence and issues.

And, you know, if that wasn't bad enough, the Eldar have then arrived as they have noticed the presence of Chaos Space Marines and are like, this is not going great and we should probably stop this. Yeah. Well, hey, at least the Eldar show, like what, I'm assuming just Craft World shows up and like, hey, hey, this is bad. And they, so them showing up not the worst thing, right? Well, normally them showing up would be the worst thing because Eldar, much like humanity, doesn't much care for the survival of other races and care much more for themselves. True, but they have plenty of other targets other than humans. So it's like, maybe we're okay, maybe we'll be all right.

Well, that kind of might be important later. So vigilists here is being beset by chaos in a very important area. Has gene steel or cold invasions arriving? Orcs have landed. The Drukari are taking raiders, death guard have arrived, and the Eldar are there to be Eldar. It's not poggers. No, no, this is as not poggers as it gets. This is, uh, what is the anti-pogger saying for, for Zumers these days?

What's the- Minus 100 aura. Ah, that's, that is very true. That is the new one. It's got minus aura for sure. You're right. You're right. It's got huge drops in aura.

Oh yeah. Massive, massive. So, infinite. it. Because of that. Well, not actually because of that, but at this point, you know, things are pretty bad. And so, naturally, the most important people in the world need to show up. We need to bring out the ultramarines. Of course we do. As soon as you said the most important people in the universe need to show up, I was like, okay, here comes the Codex Astardis. A couple of ultramarines were chilling around, and they found two very important people in the chaos sphere.

The first one was Vorash Soul Flair. Vorash Soul Flair was making noctilith crowns all across the planet. Now, the noctilith crown, and I believe a little bit of this code, not codex, a supplement, I guess, kind of has this, I don't know how to describe it yet. Well, no, I know how to describe it. I don't know how to name it. Basically, GW has this thing where when they release new minis, they very often. often center their stories around those minis and mention them at like a lot.

Mm-hmm. So the noctilith crown was a brand new fortification that you could bring for chaos space Marines. And this fortification is, you know, just very, very cool. Okay. So it's a nocth. Is it an actual crown or is that just like a name for like, uh, you said it was is a fortification, right?

Yes. So, shy, I'm sure you will have a picture of the Noctawoth Crown. There it is. Oh, that looks like a, that looks like a very chaotic portal. Yes, they are specifically referring to that. Oh, okay, that's pretty cool. It is the Noctalith Crown. You can actually purchase that, and it is a fun little miniature that allows you to

just make it creepy stuff and like make a locus of grossness. But basically it's kind of like a chaosy portal. Mm-hmm. Looks nothing like a crown, though. I mean, if you put it to its side and put on your head. Well, yeah, I guess. But then essentially you've got like a cowboy fitting hat thing. A crown.

What about crown of thorns? Yeah. Ah, fine. You lose, sir. Yeah, whatever. All right. So, he's making up knocked with crowns. And our good friend, Harold World Claimers, also chill him.

Harry! Good old Harry is leading his raptors and flying around to the high spires of these hive cities and slaughtering all of the nobles. Yes, let's go. Love me a good jump jet. Let's go. Harry. Eat the rich. Let's go.

Kill those people up top. Let's go. Yeah, my man. Let's go. Prowley proclaiming that this world belongs to Abidon, as he is in fact the roll-claimer. He is the herald of destruction. And with this, Abadon arrives to the system. Big man, big ship, like, I'm going to mess you up.

It actually gets worse, because now Abby's here too. It gets always worse, incredibly worse. It is 40K. It is indeed 40K. Now, Abidon arrives, and that's actually not much to talk about in the beginning. He arrives on the vengeful spirit, you know, starts. causing problems real quick. I bet.

Does he just do it from the vengeful spirit, or is he actually going down, boots to the ground and being like, oh, let's stretch the old legs and use my old, because he has a very fancy sword, like a, doesn't he have like a glowing purple sword or some nonsense? Okay,

there's a lot of things we got to talk about here. One, clearly he's on the ground. The photo above literally shows him on the ground. I didn't see that photo. Well, I guess that one photo away. Absolutely did. There was, oh yeah,

that was that one photo that we thought was really cool and I guess that is him up there. He is on the ground. That's true. Well, you could, I could listen.

Listen. Secondly, how can you forget about draconian the first, the first ever murder until like put into a sword? That's right. That's right.

Oh, no. Listen. Listen. Oh, no. Not a lot of sleep was had last night, okay? I'm running on fumes a little bit.

I'm happy that I'm. that I'm... Yes! It's just last night was particularly bad. Holy. So anyway, Abadon boots on the ground. He's got his cruel first murder sword

and his big claw and he's just murdering everyone. Right? I specifically said not much to talk about in relation to the point where there isn't a whole lot of like lore discussion here. But I will say there is much to state in terms of what's going on because like, yeah, the vengeful spirit is here.

ship alone is basically worth an army. Sure. Because it is the vengeful spirit. When he first showed up, he would just kind of be like chilling on the vengeful spirit and just like orbital bombardment. I mean, he does like his orbital bombardment. Right, right. Yeah.

He doesn't have any blackstone fortresses to throw, but you know, we do like a good bombing. The goal is to exterminate the entire planet because this is the main center point that's allowing the Imperium to head on through and destroying it would be really, really good. Sure. He is snipping the rope in the tug of it. war.

Yeah. Now, in order to deal with this, big boy blueberry himself, top Chad, giga dick, Marnius Caligar, shy, I'm sure you have the image of him with like, like, all dripped out looking like a rapper. It's a very good one. Has arrived down to help defend the planet and help defend just in general the entirety of what Abidon is doing. All right.

So the main thing that happens instead, however, is Calgar, in an incredible amount of insecure, not insecurity, forethought, decides to strike a deal with the Eldar. Wow. Okay. Well, I guess it's not unheard of for humans and Eldar to strike deals in times of great strife and everything. So, yeah. Oh, no. Shai doesn't have the non-me meme.

Wow, even I've seen the meme one shot. How do you really? I got to find it. It's somewhere Shai has it buried in her folder somewhere Of this I have no doubt Because like I said I've seen it

Like there's no way It's not in your repertoire of me He has like he has like the New York The Yankee He has like the Yankee Yeah, yeah yeah yeah It's a classic She definitely has it

Oh yeah yeah Anyway Calgar Strikes a deal with the Eldar And the Eldar They make a plan Where fighting Abidon down on the surface will keep a distraction for the most part while the Eldar load up one of their ships

with an unfathomable amount of bombs. Okay, okay. That's true. That is true. I guess at this point it is somewhat okay for him to strike a deal with the Eldar because they did just revive Gilman. So I guess that's a little less cringe. Yeah, and Gilliman is impregnating Yvrain,

so we can give it a pass. right shut your ass ass so so they've uh of all the verbs like like couldn't you just said banging or like

you had to do impregnating you you freak I had to I had to it wouldn't get this kind of reaction out of you if I just said something like oh yeah Robert de Gilman's poke in your brain like that that wouldn't make you I was fine with the Goatzee

Goatsey was okay now you're taking it too far I had to get you back for it. So, anyway, he does end up having sneaking a bunch of warp bombs on the Eldar ship. And so Abidon and him duel as they do on the ground and beat each other up. Unfortunately for Calgar, Abadon is like basically Primark level at this point because he is so roided to the gills with chaos soup and chaos trend that he gets his ass. he gets his ass basically whooped. Yeah, both of his hearts get split open.

Bad news bears for Calgar. However, the Eldar, thanks to their incredibly good stealth technology and that stuff, end up sending the ship right next to Abidon's vengeful spirit before they can react to it and detonating all of their bombs. Ooh, okay. This giant warp explosion basically rents the terror in reality and all these other torpedoes and stuff and kind of just like eats a major portion of the vengeful spirit. Okay. Wow.

It doesn't just straight up destroyed it. It just eats just a chunk of it. It just leaves a big like a dent in it, just a big hole breach. I wish I could like genuinely express the insanity that is the vengeful spirit as a ship. like it is arguably the largest most powerful ship in 40k currently that doesn't except for i don't know like the imperial fist like phalanx out i was going to say don't phalanx maybe but like yeah but like still they loaded uh well i guess so what eldar ship did they load up they didn't load up like a craft world obviously they didn't sacrifice a continental ship but like it just seems like so many war bombs

you'd think it would well i don't know So like outside of like Blackstone fortresses and other kind of meme level ships, probably some Necron stuff. The the vengeful spirit, I would argue, is like the largest, most powerful just battleship style ship. I don't know, traditional looking ship out there. And they loaded up something. I think they called it Valls Honor or Valls, something like that out of the name of the Eldar God of like smithing and that kind of stuff. And just it was just like a stealth ship that they just. rolled up unstealth and went kabush.

Okay. So this harms the vengeful spirit insanely, but the vengeful spirit is basically alive at this point. Oh, okay. Yeah, well, I mean, okay, you know, think of how long. So this, the vengeful spirit was Horace's flagship. Right, yeah. This is where the emperor dueled him on the vengeful spirit.

And so this thing is just astronomical, but a giant chunk of it got ripped apart and was getting attacked by warp energies from the bomb. And this caused an immediate emergency warp translation by the helmsman and forced Abidon to very quickly as they were transporting teleport off from the ground back into his ship. Yeah, because he doesn't want to get stranded on the planet, sure. There is a very funny excerpt where he re-entered the eventual spirit and he's walking through the ship as it's like being fixed up and all that kind of stuff. things. He knew

the ship would survive. It's malicious spirit at its heart is almost as stubborn as he was. But he was just like really mad that the shipmaster Croggin decided to do an emergency war translation without him on it. He was just furious about it.

As well he should have been, he almost got left behind. He was a ship left without him almost. It's very funny, but I like the fact that he strolls into the command sanctum and he finds the ship master skinned alive and hung off from the ceiling by the other crewmates as a way to as a way to be like hey he we know he did wrong we did it for you like thank you thank you yeah and aben and abenance

like damn you know what you guys were right good job and so he killed them all but he did it like swiftly so they didn't suffer oh well how gracious of him what a benevolent ruler oh wow at least they didn't suffer. It's like, oh, we didn't do it. It was all him. What are you offer me? Abadon rewarded their belated loyalty by ordering their swift deaths before retaking his seat upon the enormous command dais.

Well, hey, to be fair, they're all chaos worshippers, right? So they'll just go, their souls will go screaming back to the warp and they'll get over it eventually, right? I mean, Abidon is our villain. It's like, I will, you know, I will kill you last, whatever kind of thing. or in this case I will kill you first. Yeah, I would make it swift and painless. Yes.

Out of the edge. So anyway, Abedon bailed. And that's after, and after this is where that little excerpt I mentioned, which is like they say they just spoiler fled, but why is it still them? Oh, right, right, right, right. Because for the most part,

people assume Marnius Calgar is dead. He's not dead, but a lot of them basically assume he's just dead. Sure. He got absolutely worked. He's on the brink. at least, right? Right.

Or like a lot of the populace. Unfortunately, the populace themselves on this planet are not doing super hot. Um, because unfortunately, everything else is like still here. Yeah, I was going to say like, it's, it's a little relief that at least Abadon and the Black Legion aren't there. But okay, cool. You've still got orcs. You've still got Drukari.

Um, you've, You've still got Gene Steeler cult. You're still kind of screwed. Right? Like it's just, oh boy, one less thing to eat me. Well, I mean. Better air quotes? I guess a little bit.

Yeah, so GSC are still there. The Noctyloth crowns are still there. The chaos sex are still there. And the orcs are still there. His withdrawal really didn't mean much. Everything kind of just kept coming for vigilis. Yeah, still getting absolutely wrecked. So basically, there are a lot of little individual battles that they cover here.

A lot of it is extensive underground fighting, dealing with the honeycombed mines underneath vigilis, demons spawning, volcanic activity. Eventually, the only area with any usable water on the planet was the polar ice caps of Calix Bain in the south, which was, was not great because then the Imperium as they do pushed their ice miners to the absolute brink of exhaustion and mental anguish leading for lots of them to run away to

either the chaos cults for salvation or the Popper Princes for salvation. Oh boy. As you do, because the empire, they don't quite understand that they are actively the way they are. They're pushing people

towards chaos because if you abuse them and make their life hell. It's like, well, chaos can't be that much worse, right? La Gasp! D.K., the empire. I mean, the Imperium. He's fantasy-pilled. Oh, no, I've become fantasy-filled. Oh, God. He's truly fantasy-pilled. And then when we were talking about the Skaven, I said the Imperium a few times and everyone's like,

oh, no. Not here. Not in fantasy. See? That's the Empire of Man! And it's like, ah, God, I can't win. He can't win. I can't win. Along with all the stuff going down beneath, the wastes, all of the old ships that were on the wastes, from the orcs, that is, were then turned into those giant mega cities you notice there, constantly sending out various other orc raiding bands because they're in the waste and they can do that, which is very funny. However, slowly, and this is kind of the part where it's like nine different little things going one by one, but slowly more reinforcements arrived to vigilis because this was a ninth edition little supplement. These sisters, I believe, just got their codex.

So a large amount of the bloody rose systems arrived after attempting to save a plant that was eaten by the warp. It did not work out well for them. And so they arrived and they're made. main reasoning was to drive back the chaos space marines from the cities back out into the wastes. And from here, our main character arrives, which is unfortunate because we're not going to chat much about it, probably for like 15 more minutes. But this is Mr. Erasmus cartavolnes. Yes. Ah, yes. Sure, sure. You know Erasmus Cartholonus, don't you? Uh, of course I do, but again, what, Matt, the poor fans, listeners, how could they know who that is? And so for their benefit, Bricky, not mine, who is this?

Yeah, this guy has never shown up except for this book. Oh, okay. I thought it was getting played a little bit. I thought this was, I thought this was another, oh, D.K. doesn't remember thing Bricky has told them about. Okay, cool. Then for all of our sakes, who is, who is, who fuck is this? Ha ha, subversion. You're on your A game today, pal. I'm doing my best. Anyhow, this is an inquisitor. An inquisitor of the Ordo Malleus. Shai, do you have that image of him? Yeah, he's a, he's a baller.

Whoa. Yeah, so. Damn, he looks like you should be an admech. He's got a vibe. Yeah, he's got a vibe to him. also is he torturing that guy that's kneeled before him that looks like he's like I don't know spitting up a bolt of lightning or like a little ball of lightning what the hell's happened to that poor guy no his hands and feet are just chained for no reason oh yeah that's true I just I just noticed the absolutely wild look on his face is him spitting up warp energy or something like what is happening to that guy yeah he's getting tortured quite badly Quite the dude. So, Ordo Malius inquisitor Erasmus Cartavolonis has arrived here because he himself is quite the Puritan.

He is a dread inquisitor. He specializes in tracking down demons, traitors, and artifacts that weaken the boundary between a real space and the warp. He hasn't to look too hard here. No, he doesn't. It's all over the place. buddy take your pick he is is quite the puritan no demon hosts uh his yeah he got a custom mini that it was a limited time mini which is like pretty dope as fuck i'm pretty sure other swords have said this but i never get over the fact that their sword literally has exterminatus written on it

yeah it that mini is it was a short-term release mini but he looks awesome oh Oh, yeah, that's great. Yeah, and he's a psycher, clearly. He's torturing the dude with the powers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, yes, he is a major Puritan. No demon hosts, no possessed artifacts. He often hunts down other radical members of his ordo.

He does not like. He's a real kind soul. Yeah, I bet, yeah. So he obviously does not get along well with, like, the ordo Xenosa, anything. Like, I assume they have as little contact with each other as possible. I think it's less about that. In fact, the thing about him is that he's quite the repository for knowledge. Curse knowledge, sure. Xenos knowledge often as well, but whatever allows him to destroy the demon

that isn't a radicalized variant of it. Ah, okay. Like, he knows a psycher and stuff. He often has, like hexes to put on demons and stuff to like banish them. Got you. Okay. Okay. Got you. So it's just any, anything that'll help him destroy a radicalized demon, whatever.

It's not that he just hates anyone that touches or, it's like a, you know, it's just, I need help killing demons faster and stuff. Yeah. He's very much a Puritan in the terms of the Ordo Malius section where he doesn't like mess with cursed artifacts and stuff. Yeah. But he'll find. his way to be able to properly use his fancy book to activate like a right of unbinding and stuff.

Okay. But yeah, he's not going to go like furious and just go on a killing rampage because the Ordo Zenos was like using some host or something. That's actually a cool thing that Shai mentioned. Yeah. So one of his arms is robotic. The reason for this is that on the, this is a side note on the, from Knockman. On Agrafar, there was, he battled a mutated sorcerer name Groghafax, which was a cult dedicated to Nurgel. And what the dude would do is he would swallow ruin-marked slaves whole and consume gallons of tainted concoctions, which then created a miniature warp fissure within his own belly. Wow. That is a lot. It's a lot. Now, Cartavolnes has this really cool bodyguard called the Black Iconoclasts,

which are like tempestus, Sions, and various other Militarum guys that are just hyper mental of faith and like super clear of mind. But when he fought that dude, he cut their head off with his foresorum and then reached into his throat down to his stomach, chanting a day. a quote unquote hexercism to clamp shut the warp portal from inside his body but his arm was then covered in Nurgel's rot

so he hacked that shit off and you know even if he wasn't like devout it's like oh god my arm is covered in Nergel shit yeah you got to go you got to amputate that even if you aren't just like oh I just don't like demons like you don't want that Nergel juice running up your, yeah, you

get that arm's got to go. It's a reminder to him of the importance of his work and the sacrifices he must make to the God Emperor. Wow. That's, that's, that's pretty, that's, yeah. No, he's, he's kind of Chad

despite the part where he's like a, you know, an inquisitor. Yeah. So, when he arrives to Nachman, he does it the usual inquisitor way. He, uh, mentions, there's an inquisitor arriving, but he kind of keeps himself in the shadows going around,

figuring out what's going on, because he's looking for the rest of the noctalith crowns. He knows there's like a big spider web of crowns all up and around the area, and he needs to shut them off. I'm going to skip past a few of these parts, because for the most part, it's a lot of, like, he found, he gathered Astramilitar and Sorotis and led a pincer attack against the demons and the masters of possession. and was able to shut down an octoleth crown. Yay.

Great stuff. I will say, one of the parts that I found that made him just such a joyous guy to be around was when the imperial forces were within store veil, which I believe is one of the hives cities. Let me double check the map. Storville. Yes. Oh, yeah, there it is.

Yeah, it looks pretty big. Yeah, not as big as the rest, but yeah, Storvail. They were in heavy disarray for the most part. And so because of that, he had his acolytes fashion a bunch of torture devices with, as he says, servo blades, neural shriveners, and psychotrauma amplifiers grabbed the nearest officers he could find just random officers and threw him in them. Oh. And then transmitted their wretched scrimid. screaming across the planet and mostly to the rest of Stormvale. Oh, yeah.

Like, as, as you said, truly, he sounds like a joy to be around. He had a little curs in him, apparently. Yeah, just a little curs or he's just, you know, you know, you gotta test the torture devices, right? You got to make sure. And then, oh, hey, now that they're screaming, you know, we got to put that to good use. So, you know, a little morning, you know, little, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He says, the wretches in his torture engine, he told the imperial defenders, were not exemplars of mankind.

If they were, they would already be leading their armies to victory in Storval. If the noble Marnius Calgar had sacrificed his very life for victory on this world, the Inquisitor roared, then by what right did lesser servants of the god emperor offer any less sacrifice? It says, Carnival, this is sinister actions, terrifying presence, and castigating words, whipped up the rag-tag forces before him into a fearful frenzy. He did not offer them with salvation, mercy, or even victory. With excruciating clarity, he offered the hospitality of the Inquisition to every living soul in Storval if they did not follow him.

The hospitality of the Inquisition is a great way to put it actually. But yeah, boy, lovely guy. It's like, oh, Calgar was willing to die. Why aren't you? You know, Shai, you say you'd rather be around him than Drukari orx chaos, demons, Plague, Marines, or Tiernid cultists? I may put a point on the Tyrannid cultists in this one. Minimum.

Yeah. The rest I agree with. Yeah, that's true. I may enter the soup at one point, but I think that might actually be a longer life than in his service. Yeah. The author's thinly veiled fetish shining through once more. Listen, it's the, listen, it's the GSC, all right? They're, uh, they got their own, they got their own stuff going on.

Okay, okay, okay, okay. Anyway, it doesn't matter. Um, so, uh, with that, he was able to gather a solid rag tag group of Imperials lead over and start taking down the followers of the dark gods one by one and their noctaloth crowns from Stormvall. And that was kind of the, the real beginning of the taking back of vigilis. when things started to really do well. Okay. So he led by fear, did it well, took down the crowns, and we're, he's making progress.

Progress is being made. Things are maybe looking a little better. This is the start of reclaiming Knockman, the big start. But, and this, this might, this might be, I know we're actually not fully done with this book yet, but this might be a solid point to stop because we got some new. folks coming. And the second book of this Knockman thing is not as intensive. And it might be a neat part to kind of like, we spent a lot of time chatting about all the

individualized parts of what Knockman is and the area. I think we set the stage pretty well. And I don't want to go too far over the hour. So, uh, shy, are you, what are your thoughts on, on cutting it here? And then moving on to it with the next episode. I'm, uh, because, because next we're going to get space maria. Spash Marines and a few other important folks. I said some very important folks.

Shai said it makes sense. All right, all right. Let's go. So some new folks show up, huh? More people for the party. I think we're having a good time here at the Goatsey party. I, maybe I got a little more Gilliman in me than I originally expected. I liked chatting about the various, um,

of, you know, that section of knockman and making sure it's stable and all those other things. Yep, but Gilliman would be proud of your, uh, of your economic skills. I, well, let's not go with skills. Well, your willingness to go into it, you know. Nunshuck skills, computer hacking skills. Yeah, he'd be happy with how well you do spreadsheets and stuff. I actually don't really do many spreadsheets. I'm more of like a note taker.

Huh, I would have taken you for a spreadsheet guy and a note taker. I would have taken you for both. You know what? I disagree. There's one thing that I'm spreading right now. It's the Knockman gauntlet. I was going to say, you're definitely not spreading the sheets, eh? Those sheets are staying on the bed.

Ha ha! Got them! Let's... All right, shy. End the episode. Let's kill him.