Adeptus Ridiculous - NURGLE: YOUR LOVING GRANDPA, THE LORD OF PESTILENCE | Warhammer 40k Lore

Episode Date: November 17, 2021

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Welcome everyone to another episode of the Adeptus Ridiculous Podcast. My name's D.K. My co-host is Bricky. He has all the 40K crazy ridiculous stuff. This is a great start to the episode. Whatever, we're just going to keep going. If you enjoyed today's episode, consider supporting us at patreon.com slash Adeptus Ridiculous,

where you can get access to the Discord, access to bloopers if they happen, wah-a-a-a. And, yeah, consider supporting the Patreon. It's a good time. It's fun stuff. Bricky's going to tell you about some real quality merch and the book club. Quality merch comes to you.

By the way of Orkidate.com, you can grab hoodies, shirts, or I'm a tank, I guess, shirt, illegally distinct Mechanicus shirt, Doge Van Dyer, stickers, and so on. Go ahead and give it a check. It's in the description, Orchidate.com. And for the book club, make sure you are up to date or you have begun reading Kai Kai Kai, Cai Fis Kane, Hero of the Imperium. Which book is it, D.K. For the Emperor

If you're looking on Audible It will literally say book one of I think six But if you're actually looking to buy it Because you don't like Audible You don't like audiobooks It is called Caius Cain for the Emperor Ada Bing And we'll begin some of that done next month

DK My friend You Me Shall we do the usual quote I'm not sure it can get much better than last time. Like, I actually got the Necron part. I got the Stormlord part. How does it get better? Like, now people are going to expect me to know what we're talking about. No, I don't.

Oh, sweet. Okay. Well, let's get, let's do it then. I never expect you to know. I always assume that you're going to try and you might get it. You might not. I'm very proud of you last time. But we also had the Tyrannids issue. So as far as I'm concerned, you've evened out. It's mixed bag. We're back to a level You're one to one right now. Yeah. All right. Entropy is all consuming, fed by all struggles against it. Thus, even to hope is to despair.

So despair, and in your desperation, find purpose. Oh, that's the quote, huh? That's the whole quote. Which is like me to read it again. Now, so there's a lot of entropy, a lot of despair. it almost sounds like something from chaos. It sounds like if there was like a chaos scientist, that would be a thing,

but I'm not entirely sure what faction or person that would be. Like there's a part of me that almost wants to guess Fabius Bile because he seems like a boring-ass scientist that's kind of loopy-dupy-crazy with chaos. Maybe, I don't know. Is it not Fabius Bile? Damn. Yeah, your quote would have been,

Hi, I'm boring. I have no plot. I'm Fabius Bile. I've literally not talked to you about Fabius Bile. You're pulling this out of your ass. He's actually pretty interesting. Oh, who was the one you said was like super hella boring and was like,

there was someone you said was like super boring and was like kind of related to Fabius Bile. Didn't really do anything, but he's just there because who's the Emperor's Children? Ferris Manis? Ferris Manus? Oh, no, I got it mixed up with Ferris Manus.

Oh my God. Oh my fucking God. Fabius Bile. Oh, no, I got them mixed up. Holy shit. Babiis Bile is an insane mad doctor who used to be part of the Emperor's children. Paris Menace is primark of the iron hands. This is worse than this.

Oh, no. This is worse than this. This is a silence. It's okay, actually, because all that means is next week. I'm gonna knock it out of the park Oh my God All right The quote was spoken by

Zlan's the Ract Comma speaker of rot How was I supposed to know that No it's not the character we're talking about We're talking about Nurgle today Oh my God Nergel What entropy and dis

Well that makes sense NERG is the god of death decay But he's also the grandfather of entropy Yeah we did it death guard episode where we kind of sort of talked about Nergel but I mean you know it wasn't like

all about Nergel it was yeah well we did death you know Deathguard is its own nerve I mean you do get plenty of Nergel when we talk about death guard because that's kind of stick but yeah so there's actually a humorous chant that is sung by plague

bearer demons during the during battle it goes Bubos flam blood and guts boils bogeys rot and pus blisters, fevers, weeping sores from your wounds the fester boars They just keep chanting that

Go team, they're the best football, yay Did they, did you say they start off By saying boba? Boobos? B-U-B-O-E-S. I was about to say it, you know, Nergel wants to be big bobas. Yeah, they want those big bobas, man. Listen, Nergle's got way bigger tits

than Slim Nesh will ever have. Oh, oh no. I don't like it. I don't like it. It might be true. That's monkey paw true. It's like it. Oh man,

if only there were bigger boobs in 40K and the monkey paw curls and gives you Nergel. That's like having a fast car because it's falling off a cliff. Exactly. It's going so fast. So,

Nergel, our boy. So Nergel, he has a lot of titles. He's the plague lord, plague god, lord of decay, master of entropy. Grandfather Nurgel is a common one. He's always Grandpa Nurgel. His sacred number is seven.

That is his sacred number. So I think Korn was eight. I was a mistaken. And Nurgel is seven. In fact, there's actually a ton of in-game use with the sacred number of seven in the Death Guard as well. Which is pretty cool.

For example, very often a lot of the special abilities that characters have in the death or in the game normally have a six inch aura around them for nergle is very often seven with the death guard uh seven inches so there's a little bit more disabilities like if you roll more than a seven you get something one of my favorite things have we talked about a pox walker before i feel like we have the name sounds super familiar but i don't know what it is so pox walkers are basically assume them as like zombies um they're generally human undead human

humans that have been infested by Nergel and they serve as like mindless drones like a giant zombie thing. Oh, okay. I think we did. I think that was in the Death Guard episode that we touched on them actually. Yes. Yeah, yeah. It's known as the walking pox very often. They just kind of stumble across

the battlefield. Like completely mindless and just groaning all the time. Very zombie-like, right? But in the game, I think it's either strategy or maybe it's a psyche. I don't quite remember. But they have a,

thing called the curse of the walking pox and you roll seven dice and for every like three up a pox walker comebacks alive because there are zombies it's like shit like that you know that's that's pretty dope is there a reason that they have uh sacred numbers like what what exactly is the deal with that i i don't know actually it's just their sacred number i i just never assumed okay i wasn't sure if there was supposed to be some like mythology behind it or if gw was just like, yeah, this will fit in pretty cool with the tabletop. Eh, you know, seven dice, seven this, seven aura. That's fine.

Numbers, you know? Yeah, pretty much. I'm not really particularly, I think it's kind of a cool idea. You know, keep it very seven. I mean, I'm pretty sure the Death Guard of the Seventh Legion as well. I'm not mistaken. Legion number, wait, no, they're nine. No, no, they're six.

No, they're 14. They're 14. So, so seven times two. Okay. So if you're a fan of Nurgle, you probably like to play the slots. You're trying to get 7, 7. You know, if you're a big slot player, that'd probably be a Zinch thing, wouldn't it? Well, Zinche is a god of change, isn't he?

Ah, because all the change comes out, all the tokens come out. You'll be separated from your change, all right? Oh, yeah, I suppose so. If you like Vegas, you're probably a Slanesh player, though. you're a Sleneh or you're a Zinche player I go to Florida if I want to be like corn so anyway just don't go to Florida period

I don't want to go to the warp either so Nurgle obviously the Nurgle as a major chaos god his whole shtick is pestilence we all know that decay death the concept of life and death rebirth and Zinch and Nurgle hate each other's

guts. And to an extent, to the extent literally hate each other's guts, because guts, and it's gross, and because Nergel, ha, ha, ha. Because Zinch is, of course, the concept of hope and, like, change and constant adjustment. Nergel is the god of stagnation, despair, and death. Oh, okay, right. So, it's sloth, you know, things like that. Nurgle is the god of death and decay,

but also in a sense, the god of rebirth. Because decay is a part of life, the cycle of life. Nothing can grow new without death. And grow new in every sense of the nature. Like a disease is a living thing, a fungus, you know, a tumor. It's a bacteria. Yeah, these are all living things that grow, take, build, kill,

die, but then they come anew. The concept for Nergel very often is that it's acceptance of death, acceptance of despair and decay. Because everything will decay, everything. Not just the body and the mind, but also like a building will crumble at some point. After time, yeah.

Yeah, things will rust. That is like everything will decay at some point, whereas Zinche represents more of like change and adjustments and hope and conniving schemes. And Nurgle is just kind of there. Like life takes it, life goes, life continues. That's how it is. That's kind of interesting because I would almost think that Siench and Nurgle would like each other a little bit more because like, I mean, for something to go from living to decay to dust, it has to change. it has to metamorphosize

like it has to go through a cycle so it has to become different so you'd think they'd actually be like kind of pals I guess you could put it in that way that's an interesting perspective on the matter I would think it's more on the idea that

like Nergel doesn't want to do anything and Zich is like manipulative he's like manipulating things like the strands of fate you know he's the weaver of fate and like he I think the idea

Zinch wants to circumvent that concept where Nurgle would lay in a big bed and watch the great British baking show and gorge on food and is and and piss and shit and not move until he dies

where where Zinch would would try to find a way to enter the TV and fuck up the show damn okay that that you know then definitely fuck fuck Zinch man I was with Nergel until the piss and shit part because I mean I have spent many a night

just like oh yeah I'm just gonna gorge myself watching the Great British baking show but she does make it Shy makes a good point where yeah corn and Slanesh kind of hate each other a lot more because corn is always butt fuck mad but he's particularly angry with Slanesh because they're

like literal opposites corn is death murder murder and Slanesh's delay in torment yeah because corn he wants It's like he wants to kill it. Like he wants it dead. And Slanesh is just like, I'm going to elongate it. We're going to torture it for all of eternity.

And corn's like, just kill him all right. Yeah. You know, Corrin's like go fuck yourself. And Slunish is like, fuck me yourself, coward. And this just kind of goes that way, you know? And then it's how it's like, oh, stop. It's not the relationship I want. I'm imagining corn is being like really insecure.

The inside of me. It's just like, oh, I want someone who could support me. corn corn leaves his shirt on during sex that's he's insecure Neurgel just Nurgle just lays on his back and he's like just get on

I'm not moving Just do it But Nurgle The strength Nurgle gets Is commonly from from that concept of decay But he also gets a lot of strength From like prayers

For the sick it's kind of interesting. The power of Nurgel, like, as is, you know, we got pandemics and disease and that kind of stuff is all major. But if, like, if you had, like, a parent, like, dying of cancer or something and you were praying for their safety, like the diseased patient praying for their safety, that feeds Nergel.

Or, like, a dying man praying for, like, another day to live. That feeds Nergel. like those anguish, the despair and sadness of something dying or of old age, like, rot, you know, anything like that. That gives Nergel his power. No wonder he's so fat with power. Because, like, I mean, even when it's not a pandemic, I was going to say, 2020, 2020, 2021, Nergel getting fat. But even without a pandemic, like, there's always, you know, there's always someone that's sick.

or dying of old age or suffering from disease. So, Nergel's got to be, who, no wonder the death card is so strong. That's the concept, like, the concept is that they stay, a, Nergel, like, stays, they can stay alive for so much longer, even though they're despairing and dying, which is a little bit counterintuitive to the earlier statement. But it's like, that, that's, like, pox walking in zombie,

and you'd kind of think that he'd want them to just decay, die, get out. I think it's kind of this thing that they are decaying and dying, but they're decaying and dying through like a legitimate cycle of rot. Think about the idea like if you die. You know, you die, your body stops working rigor mortis sets in, then you start to decay. What a fun episode. I know, but like you start like to decay.

Like your body starts to rot and stuff like that. Imagine like that physical process is still happening. but you're alive. Ew. So you are decaying physically, but you're alive during the process. Like it's the, it's the response.

Well, no, you generally don't feel much. Oh. They normally, because pain isn't really Nurgles domain. Oh, that's true. You're right. Often you're so fucking tough because you're decaying and dying that all your nerve endings are like not

working anymore so you're that's why deathguard is so resilient that's why that's why when typhus was a big douchebag and put them into the warp he was like you know everyone was suffering horribly because they were rotting and being fucked up by nergel and it would turn them all into plague marine stuff but it would stop their pain okay i was going to say if if you were alive and you could like feel the process of rotten decad was like oh god oh god kill me jesus Also, Shai makes a point where the constant of pestilence needs to be alive to spread. So, you know, a disease needs to live to spread. So if everything just dies immediately, it kind of is counterintuitive.

So does corn also hate Nurgle quite a bit? Because he wants to kill the bastards? Yeah, he's letting them like stay alive and rot and decay and they just, it's like, oh, come on, man. I don't think corn cares. I don't think corn cares as much so long as people are dying. Though at the same, I don't think corn likes anybody. Oh, well. Yeah, I guess that's true.

There's no chaos. Probably doesn't like Nergel. I mean, yeah, there probably wouldn't be too many chaos gods that corn would get along with. No, because he would hate Zinesh because corn hates psychers. And he hates manipulative people. That's Zinc. He hates Sonesh for obviously that reason. I guess he could be okay with Nurgles

so long as he's killing people. He is, but like all of his people are still alive and they're still walking around and their lives are prolonged. Like wouldn't Korn want them to be finished off and killed? I mean, none of the chaos gods truly, really enjoy each other's companies.

That's why they're always warring with each other, but there's, I guess there's a level of hatred. But at the end of the day, it really is like the immortals, unconscious response to fear of death. Like the desperate, desperate, desperate fealty to cling to life no matter the cost is what allows Nurgel to kind of take his grab. You know, like, I want to live no matter what.

And he's like, no matter what. Okay. Everybody feels that, too. Like, man, Nurgel has got a... Nergel is well-fed. He really is. Holy shit. Chaos also seems a lot like the orcs, where it's like if the orcs could band together under like one banner for long enough to care, they could probably wipe out the galaxy and just take it over themselves. Where it's like if the chaos gods could actually find a way to coexist, like everybody else would be kind of fucked.

A little bit. It's also the concept of like they're too busy fighting each other, yeah, in their own realm. they also care more about their realm more. Like, it's far more important to them to deal with the Imitarium and the power struggle there than it is to care about the mortal realm. Yeah. So they don't really care what the Imperium is doing so long as their realm is well protected. True, but you also think of it, think of it kind of like Halo.

You know, like without the food source, the flood will starve and die. without organic people. Humans are a huge amount of chaos. Oh, that's true. So much chaos. Right. It's their emotions and their deeds that are feeding chaos and making them strong.

So chaos would really want to be like wiping out your food supply. Also, necrons have no soul. Bugs are a hive mind. Eldar are, well, Eldar are one of them, but they're in short supply. Then, then orcs are a fungus, they just repopulate.

The tau there's not enough. Yeah. You know, like, there's really not a whole lot of other major options there. I was,

I was about to unironically say, oh, man, why doesn't a chaos try to help the humans? And it's like, why bother when the humans are willing to turn to chaos and be heretical

all the fucking time? Yeah, but chaos is based. Take the green pill DK to Nurgel Wow, that's a cringe opinion, bro. I'd rather be based Imperium than Based in pure pill Um

Quote In the embrace of great Nurgel I am no longer afraid For with his pestilential favor I had become that which I once feared death It's really that's a death guard guy He, you know, he's very much like, hey, I

I can become death, I can breathe, the bringer of death, and I'm no longer scared to die anymore. In the universe, all rots. You know, in this universe, one must rot to survive. You know, all will rot, all will end. Acceptance of it is the more important thing. Damn. I am become death.

Destroyer of worlds. Oppenheimer? Oppenheimer? I was close. But yeah. Yeah, I become Death Destroyer of Worlds. It's actually really sad that little speech he makes. Have you ever seen him give that speech? Like, he's practically crying as it gives it.

Oh, yeah, he's like, I've, you know. Oh, yeah. I mean, history and circumstance. It's like, what have I done? Yep, yep. It's very interesting. That being said, there are a couple interesting, kind of humorous bits of Nurgel that are rather,

impressive or just kind of neat. Nergle demons. So there's a lot of nergled demons. Now, you may have been familiar with the nergling. Do you know about the nergling? They sound familiar. Like, I think... What is that?

Is that a nergling? It's a nergling. Ew! It's like a Pikachu gone mad. Yeah? It's disgusting. Oh, the plushy's pretty cute, No, dude, you got a, okay, you say this about all this kind of stuff and, or about these nerglings and all that, but you have not, yes, thank you shy.

That's the sassy nergling. He's, he's, he is actually a, he is actually an addition to a, to a, to a death guard model. Oh my God. And he's the sassy nergling. He's doing the sassy nergling. He's doing, he's the sassy nergling. He's a nergling. I love it.

Hands on, hemp, and everything. He's doing the hokey pokey. He is. You put your right foot out? That is the actual nergling model. That's the real one you're using the tabletop.

That's a big... That's so much worse. Oh my God. Yeah, but... That's so much worse. Oh my God, nerglings are... They're gross.

The sassy nergling is fine. The other nergling is fine. The other nerglings are like, oh my god, I don't, I can't even with that. So what do they do, just eat flesh or something? There's a little buggy boys. Little buggy boys, they run up there, eat stuff, kill things, spread disease. Cool.

You've also got plague bearers. Plague bears are also pretty interesting. They're little lesser demons of Nergel as well. Nerglings are really gross. They're generally filled with pus and multiple mouths. They're very, very nasty. They probably squish. I was gonna say why the pus, but I was like, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, of course, boils, yeah, of course.

Yeah, you gotta have disgusting pus-filled orbs that, but like this is a plague bearer. Like, bearers look more like a, a common idea of a demon, you know, more tall, bipal, humanoid-looking things, maybe the Cyclops eye, perhaps. Intestine hanging out, ugh. Yeah, I think, similar things like that. You've got plague drones, which if you do not like wasps, you won't like that. Oh, boy.

Oh, so, sorry, that's called a rot fly. A plague drone is a plague bearer that rides on top of it, but it's a plague fly. Oh, sorry, a rot fly, my bad, raw fly. Yeah, that's gross. You've got beasts of Nurgle. Beasts of Nurgle are not I do not like these ones at all

These are very nasty Oh no I hate it I hate it Oh god That looks like something that Who's the guy that made Pan's Labyrinth and all the gross monsters in that Oh Guillermo del Toro

Yeah it looks like something he'd make That looks like a Guillermo del Toro monster for sure The mini is not as bad if I'm being honest but it's still gross. Oh, the mini sucks. It may, it's kind of silly. I mean, once I've seen the top one, it's kind of hard to be like,

oh, yeah, that fucking mini is so dope. That mini looks fucking dumb by comparison. Now, there are, there is, of course, the big one, though. And that is known as the great unclean one. You may have seen... Oh, you mean a great clean one? You have probably seen the great clean one.

Yeah. The great unclean one. is absolutely enormous. Oh my God, they're that big? They are gigantic. Yo, I've only seen the mini, so I thought they were just like a big,

like, I thought they were like Jabba the Hut size. That's like bigger than a mountain. Well, I don't know if he's bigger than a mountain. That might be a scaling issue there. Oh, okay. Well, still, he's a giant. They are very big. I think that's like a, maybe a death garden apartment.

Holy shit. The great unclean ones are enormous. They're gigantic, pussy, you know, the intestines hanging out. Yeah. A bunch of crap. There's also the named gray unclean one, which I think is called, I'm forgetting its names. Rodagus? I think it's Rodagus.

Yeah, Rodigus. I don't know why, but I wonder what kind of voice his stomach has. Do you think it also talks? Yeah, dude. It has to. It, no way, it totally talks, right? A little demon with a two-mouthed. It totally talks.

I wonder if he has conversations with himself. There's Rodagus. That's the mini for Rodagus. It's actually pretty good. Oh, wow, that is disgusting. It is very, very nasty. Rodigus is also known as Rodigus Rainmaker or the Rainfather. The generous one.

He's constantly humming. He's like, mm-hmm, hmm. is he just constantly like rips people apart and like diseases them and kills people. He's just doing his little mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Ew.

Rodagus is constantly surrounded by a storm of filth and disease known as Nurgles Deluge. So merely being near him is lucky to get you drowned in sewage. After the Tao conquest of the planet De Harn, a massive drought and the failure of their hydrotech forced the earth-cast farmers

to convert to the natives' religion and start praying for rain, only for them to learn that their fertility god was Rodagus, who quickly transformed their desert planet into a stinking bog. Oh, that's unfortunate. That's unfortunate. There's also Epidemius, which is the tallyman of Nergel. He's a herald of Nuriel.

Yeah, a tallyman of Nergel. Okay. What's a tallyman? What is a tally man? Tally man? For some reason as soon as you said that I was like, does he tally all of the deaths for Nurgle or something? Like does he keep a tally of him?

It's exactly what I thought it was. Yeah, it's a person who keeps score a record or something. I thought it was, but I wasn't like... Oh, okay. There is a character you could run in the death guard called the tally man. Huh. I was gonna, like, what does he keep a tally of? I think he just keeps a tally of, like, disease and rot

and things of that nature. Oh, boy, that's a big book. This is the tallien man. Look, he's got a nergling with two little, with little scrolls. Oh, yeah, he does. And he's got the little little little beads thing to keep track of stuff. Yeah, the abacus. That's what it's called.

Thank you. You're old. He, wow. It's also called, it's also called having a brain, but that's fine. Oh. Oh, brain on the field. Not today. Not for you.

he doesn't look so bad like he doesn't look so rotted and disgusting and malformed like he he looks like he's okay like he doesn't have an extra mouth anywhere he's got those weird ass tentacles that are you know stroking that abacus um but he looks okay he looks like he's having a you know decent time of it i mean i guess i'm looking at the wiki right now they're mainly used to tally things like diseases inflicted victory 1, defeat, suffered, ammunition expended. It's a tough job. It's a tough job.

It is, but I guess it's also a concept where they also use the tally of like Nurgle and the number of 7 to invoke like a blessing. But it's also kind of like a like it stirs the forces into excitement. So it's like, we have killed

5,400 imperial citizens and then like all the bugs are like Yeah, yay. And they all go murder people better or something. I don't know. It's like the drummer boy. Okay, okay. Sure, sure.

Six million people have been infected. We're so based. Paul Cham. But one of the weird things that, okay, I'm being infected. But one of the weird things that you may not really realize when it comes to Nergel stuff is, is Nergel demons, like, nergling, Nergles guys are very happy. Oh, really?

They have a very joyful demeanor. When they're going around and infecting people, they've got this very, like, remember the chant? Boas, phlegm, blood and guts, spoils, bogeys, rod, and pus, musters, fever, sweeping sores, from your wounds, the fest are poor. It's like they're doing this with a smile on their face. They're like the little nerglings act like little happy, silly raccoons. They're like, they're giggling to each other and rolling up.

around and falling over and laughing and like like it was a shy posted in this chat while Zim seeks to twist fate and change reality Nergel teaches to accept entropy and rot and persevere despite it with solace and happiness

so like when Richard Rodagus is like humming they're like mm-hmm mm-hmm mm-hmm mm-hmm stab so it's really not so bad to be like like if you have to to be converted to a chaos god it's not so bad to be converted to like nergel because you don't feel it

and you're happily spreading like uh disease and rot and whatever and you're kind of happy about it yeah well i mean okay well you're not really that happy under nergel that's i think you have a lot of depression um oh dear sure uh okay so shy has another thing but i guess she got this from some i think from 1D4cham, probably. Probably, yeah. Nergel cares, and he loves you. He brings you family, love, and the time to embrace that love fully, and become one with him.

He accepts you for who you are as long as you stay that way. Also, don't wash, don't shave, don't change your underwear. You're great the way you are. I don't like this. I guess it's the concept where you're great the way you are. Literally, right now, never change, never move. ROT. Oh, boy, that's, uh,

Okay, yep It's memed on that Grandfather Nurgel loves you Because he he Everything is one and the same We are all to rot We are all to decay We are all the same that way

So there's a there's a concept of that That being said You know you There's a lot of pain In the beginning I'm sure And despair Because despair is also a part of it A little bit

But all of his demon are having a good time. Those plague bears are singing a song and laughing amongst themselves as they're fighting. The big, fat old great clean ones or unclean one, damn it. The great unclean ones are probably like singing jolly like songs. Like you know that like, think of it like, you know, um, what's it? Uh, like John Goodman. Yes, I know of John Goodman. John Goodman is a very large man But he's got like that jolly nature to him

His smile is very genuine Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah You know obviously I don't want to compare John Goodman to Nurgle Because that's really mean and not what I'm trying to go for But I'm like like it's the concept where it's like the big the big jolly man That's the stereotype right Like Santa Yeah

Except he's instead of presents The presents are AIDS It's pox It's a pox It's like correct Would you bring me for Christmas Santa? It's a pox. Hooray!

My intestine! I'm just imagining... I'm imagining Santa Nurgle as like Rich Evans. And he's like, would you get... Would you bring me for Christmas Santa? Oh, don't worry. I got you. AIDS.

Although now all I can picture is like the little nergling demons, but they're painted like in a Disney movie and they're all singing a happy song through the forest. This really pretty forest. Dude. Just decay it. Dude. Dude, Disney princess Nurgel Army.

You give like a great unclean one like the little Cinderella slippers for the feet and like the wig. Oh my, oh my God. Little blushy cheeks that's like all smeared and shit on his like smile. Yeah, like the makeup's all crap and stuff.

The lipstick is put on incorrectly. The second mouth has lipstick on it too. Oh my God, it's oh my. DK, we're geniuses. We are geniuses. We are, we, we are what the meme community of Warhammer needed. We, um, we're, are we, are we, are we change? Are we bringing change to Warhammer memes?

I think the only thing we aren't is corn. Yeah. We're, we're zinged because we like trickery and to fuck around. We're Nergo because we're gamers. We're still next because of our posters. Oh, yeah. The only thing, the only thing we're not as corn because neither of us are strong enough to beat people.

No, no, no. You're not going to get a quick honorable death here. No, no, no, no. It's going to be a slow, awful decay and rot, and you will learn to be happy with it. Please consult your physician before worshipping Nurgel and then tell him to go fuck himself. Well, we aren't chaos, though.

Was it? Corn is our comment section. when you use they for a non-binary character? Oh, it's whatever. I like when a lot of people play this game and I like when everyone has a chance and gets to feel welcomed because Nergel loves you for who you are.

Nergel doesn't give a shit what you identify as. Nergel doesn't give a shit what you put your dick in. Nergel don't care. Nergel doesn't care what race you are, with nationality. We all rot. We all rot together.

We all rot together. That's what matters. You are welcomed in Nurgel's counsel. Yeah. Everybody. Every, regardless. Good old Papa Nurgel. Grandfather.

Well, I guess Papa Nurgel too. A grandfather, Nergel. There's a, and then, oh, of course, I guess we kind of can discuss entropy. Because entropy is, you know, chaos, like things everywhere.

So God of entropy in the sense of, like, you know, you let, like, organized chaos. Like you just let things happen Because it's, you know, it's, it's, you know, it's, it's not... Yeah, of course, why not? You're not trying to make things, not trying to contain it or adjust it like a zinged thing. It's going on.

Let it go. Yeah, just let it happen. Who cares? Let it go. Like, there is that other, that other part, though, where I think, I think Nurgles, I think he wants you to know living is like a futile concept. It's like, you will die. We all will die

You need to accept death And accept that you are a disgusting Fat piece of shit And then if you do You will be happier Well I mean if you accept it You probably will

Because if you live your whole life And fear of death You're just That's not really a life You know I mean we've seen We've seen very well with the Kriegsman It's very frightening

To deal with someone Who doesn't care about their own life But not only do and Nurgel lights not care about their own well-being. They also don't feel the pain and they're incredibly tanky. So imagine fighting an entire, an entire, for example, Deathguard, Space Marine Legion with nothing to lose and not getting hurt by your stuff. Yeah, Deathguard, Deathguard are scary.

They don't, they feel nothing and they fear, they don't fear death. and their space marines can you imagine like you're just like I'm just a classic old guardsman and just in the distance you see giant moth wings

and just primark mortarian of the death guard is just coming his way over and you're like I don't why am I here like I have no right time to go

time to go we gotta get the fuck out of then you got typhus and like like like a thing I didn't mention very much about NERGEL is like Often in Nurgel demons and Nergel guys,

like they have a literal black cloud of flies surrounding them. Oh. Like there is a wave, a physical wave like liquid in the air of flies at all times. And said flies carry disease and they will either block bullets due to the mass of flies. Because there's just so many. you can't pierce it or they will go on out and cover you and sting you and bite you and

infect you or get in your mouth and your eyes and your ears and imagine you know when a fly flies next to your ear in your ear and you're like ah and you slap your ear yeah yeah imagine that but like

a flood like a wave of flies I don't know I don't want to imagine that imagine a DK Oh, that's awful. It's terrible. It hurts. Oh, that's bad. That's no good. So, like, would you... How do you even combat that? Like, my first instinct would be, um... Get the heavy flamer, brother. Um, other than that, it doesn't seem like much as good. Like, even, even with fire, like, they're not going to feel it. They're going to keep trudging through it, right? But yeah,

I mean, whenever, whenever you got something that looks like zombies, it's like, well, fuck it. Light them on fire. That'll do it. Now, D.K. Let me introduce you to something, all right. Okay. Masks and vaccinations. Shy. That's true.

Where are your N94s, guys? Six feet away from the death guard. Social distance, you idiots. Dude, if you social distance from a great unclean one, he legally can't infect you. Just say no. Now, D.K., I want you to introduce you something, okay? Okay.

This is called a Death Strike Missile Launcher. I remember the intercontinental ballistic missiles? Yes, indeed. Now, for the strength of a great unclean one, I do not quite believe he will survive a direct impact with a Death Strike Missile Launcher. So if you wish to fight Nergel, I say we take four of these. Sure.

Yeah, I guess that would probably do it. I guess that would, yeah, you're right. From a distance. Yeah. But like, if you are unsuspecting and Nergel, like, a bunch of Nergel shit lands on your planet, you're kind of fucked. Like, it doesn't sound like there's a whole lot you're going to do to stop them. Like, even if you have, like, a chapter of space marines there.

Well, think of it, well, think of it this way. Think of it this way. name a situation in which your planet is invaded by any faction of 40k and tell me the strength they have to fight them well i guess you're right unless it's like holy terra like yeah like nergel arrives nergel arrives you're pretty bones the tyranids arrive you're pretty bones the necrons arrive you're very bones you know the orcs arrive you're probably bones yeah like you are a a Chaos cultist and Ultramarines to the plot armor arrive.

You're pretty boned. Ultra marines with the plot armor arrive? That's true. That's what their blue armor should be called. The plot armor. It's fucking blueberries. Like, you're, there's often the rest you have a fighting force

prepared to deal with it. Then you're pretty much boned. Yeah, I guess in 4K you kind of have to be reactive. It's like, oh, hey, this one plan got taken over by Nergel and it's like, well, that planet's fucked, but hey, let's a massive fighting force that can properly deal with Nergel maybe and maybe deal with it. Because you can't really be proactive about that shit.

Well, you can to an extent, but it takes a while and it requires time. Yeah. Also, yeah, Nurgel likes to do a lot of his quote-unquote invasions via, you know, classic pandemic, a disease that arrives at the planet, fucks up everybody. they're all weakened and sick, and then he brings in actual forces, you know? It's hard to, like, it's hard to fight that without masks and social distancing. So he literally uses pandemics to weaken wherever he's about to invade. And then once they're weak and he goes in.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Yeah, Earth is getting invaded. Oh, no, we're being prepped. We're being prepared. They're coming. Wear your goddamn masks, people. God. Look what's happened. Look what's happened. Now we're all gonna die.

Yeah. Well, hey, listen, it could be worse, you know. I'm already a cave-dwelling, you know, the gamer, so it'll just be another day at the office for me, you know? Yeah, but now you're a cave-dwelling sick gamer who's gonna die. Yeah, well, yeah, it is what it is. Damn, D.K., you're a very good Nergel slave, I must say. He accepted it. He's done it.

D.K.'s accepted the gift of entropy. D.K. You are a follower of Nurgle now, D.K. It comes with its pluses. Now I don't have to waste time bathing, right? Hell yeah, brother. Why would I spend 20 minutes bathing when I could use those 20 minutes

to go run a destiny strike? My name has been Bricky. Thank you very much for watching this wonderful episode on Nurgle. DK., any closing thoughts? Um, no. No, the only thoughts in my head can't be portrayed with the... I was trying to make a thoughts joke with the...

End the fucking episode. God. You know, Nurkle loves a good brothel. Plenty of disease being traveled through there. Yep. Yep. My name is a D.K. Diamantzes. Tip your local brothels.

I don't know. Remember, boys. Cut it. Remember, boys. It's not just the theater where you need to clap. Oh Or you need the You need the clap

I don't know I should have stopped right there I got it, they got it You got it I fucked it up I'm gonna go to I'm gonna go to bed and shit and piss I'm gonna go to bed and shit and piss