Adeptus Ridiculous - OBSCURE XENOS: BEWARE THE ALIEN | Warhammer 40k Lore

Episode Date: September 8, 2021

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Welcome everyone to another episode of the Adeptus Ridiculous Podcast. My name is D.K., and in just mere moments, my co-host, Bricky is going to tell us all about some ridiculous shit in Warhammer 40K. But before he does, if you enjoy today's podcast, heading over to patreon.com slash adeptus ridiculous, where you can get access to our Discord, bloopers if they happen, really classy, classy HD posters, and all that type of good stuff.

So patreon.com slash. Adeptus Ridiculous and Bricky Merchant Book Club, I suppose. Yes, the recent episode of the book club just came out on Blood Reaver. Check that one out. Obviously, we are jumping into the final book of the trilogy known as

Voidstalker. I'm not sure if you've started yet, DK, but it's pretty good. I'm about an hour in, so I've started. Okay, pretty really. So it's pretty solid. And besides that, we have actually kind of sort of numerous

merch. For the longest time, I was having a hard time getting black shirts and hoodies. I have black shirts and hoodies. So if you would like the classic white hoodie and white t-shirt, I did it's ridiculous, but you want them in black. They are now in black. So granted, it takes me a bit to get these shirts and hoodies because black is like the most common t-shirt color. So I would get them before they run out because we literally are out of dice. I have put in another, I have put in more in order

but it might take a bit, but the dice are all gone. So, you know, you guys are pretty cool. So, you know, just get that while you can. I guess you guys like dice. I guess you like dice. Good, good, good. In terms of dice, we have no dice.

We have none of the dice. That's crazy. That's great. Thank you to everybody that picked up some dice. Yeah, I have put it in an additional order, but it does take time for production. So I have no idea when it'll arrive, probably in a while. But, you know, for those of you who got it, yeah, those of you who got it, let's go. DK, do you have any guesses on what today's episode might be?

Oh, God, I have no... Well, I'm a guess Iron Warriors. Because we've been talking a lot about Iron Warriors this. Oh, I'm going to tell you about Iron Warriors. Is Iron Warriors the one where Perchirabo is a petulant man child or is that someone else? That is correct. That is the Per Chihuabo of Legion. However, that is not what we are discussing.

We are talking about a wonderful video game known as Lawbreakers made by Kliplosinski that died a early death and I miss it so much. None of this relates to what we're talking about today. Okay. So what are we talking about today? We are having a totally different episode. And I think it's going to be pretty cool. We are talking about other Zenos races.

Like the sloth. Like the sloth. Like non-playable, mostly non-playable. Other Xenos races. in the lore. Oh, that's cool. As soon as you mentioned sloth, my breakfast almost came up

because, God, the sloth were very, very gross. I don't like the sloth. They make me very uncomfortable. They are, the maggot men are very gross. And I will admit, these ones here vary from gross to funny to totally terrifying. And in between.

There are a lot of actual side, races in Warhammer. Some of them died because Imperium, but there are also a couple other interesting ones. We even get to talk about monkey. Monkey? Like literal...

Yeah, monkey. Like literal monkeys? Like... You know, we'll start with that one, because I wasn't sure if I was going to start with that one or not. There is a wonderful Zenos race known as the Joacharo. Okay. The Joaquero are an

intelligent, alien species that look like orangutans. They are orange monkey. These are actually monkeys. Are we talking like Planet of the Apes? Like where they're like bipedal and like, oh, we're like super intelligent or are they just like... That is an official mini right there. Oh my God.

That is an official Games Workshop mini known as the Jokero Weaponsmith. Okay. This, this is like, monkey he got some crazy cybernetics on him like he's got something on his back and I think he's got like a is that a cybernetic arm or a glove or

I believe those things are known as digital weapons they're like little weapons that you can kind of put in your in your fingers and hands and then you can I think like Marines occasionally use them too or he just has a oh digital isn't digit

so like little lasers that come out of your fingers your flanges yeah Like literal digits Yeah They're not like a naturally evolved species They were created by the old ones During the War in Heaven way back when

To be an intelligent race To aid them with fighting off the Necrons And the Catan at the time Along with the El-Tar The Corks now Orks etc They literally just I was gonna say it seems like that's the whole reason The old ones ever made a race

Was they help fight off like the Necrons And the Catan and stuff That seems to be a big reason for a lot of what they did. Extinction is an incredibly good reason to be created in shit. It's a good motivator, sure. It's a great motivator. Jokero's main, like, trait is that they have really good skill at crafting advanced technology from really rudimentary parts. They're kind of like little monkey MacGyvers.

You should know what McGuiver is. You're old. Yeah, I. cow the fucking callout. What the fuck, man? I do know who McGiver is, and I happen to love McGiver. And my mom and my grandmom

love McGiver, okay? Never mind. Point be... It's, it is top tier boomer shit. Like, it's like... Literally, it's what you watch with your grandparents. Like, like, it's always law and order of some variety.

Can you imagine, like, a variance of law and order, but they're using Inquisitors as the cops, and they walk in there and it plays like the dun-dun noise as they just see like flayed flesh because all the Trucari were there and like, huh, I wonder who did this. I would watch that show. I would absolutely. Watch Inquisitor Law and Order where they're investigating Zeno's horrific crimes by like the Dark Eldar. Yeah. That'd be, or perhaps like they have a chaos taint on the, on the, on the ship. And one of them is like a heretic and he's been carving people up. And they walk in there.

And then instead of putting glasses on, they put on like, like an eyeball rig. And then they play like the really loud, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They got to do a one liner first, though. If you're going to do that meme, they got to have a one liner, right? Well, well inquisitor, Kammeragman, it sure seems like this ship. is in chaos.

Yeah! We've done it. Top-tier memes with a deftous ridiculous. Monkeys. Actually, wait a minute. The monkeys work with Inquisters very often. Oh, do they? So this all relates.

He could have like a monkey sidekick. Oh, nice. And he's like, ooh, ah, ah, it's like, oh my God. Oh, my God. It looks like, looks like little Hank Jacero here has found the chaos guy, pulls a sheet off the head. It was you. And he has like chaos carvings all over his face. What I was kind of hoping was they go into the murder scene, right?

And the monkey's there and the human's there. And the human's like, oh, blah, blah, blah. And the monkey's like, ooh, ooh. And he puts the shades on. And he goes, ah, ah, yeah. What's that? Eldar are stuck in the well? Yeah, but an Inquisitor wouldn't go rescue an Eldar trapped in the well.

Exactly. He's going to toss a grenade in there. Good. Let him stay there. He's going to, let me cement the well. Yeah, let's fill the well. Let me throw like a psychout grenade in there. Oh, poor, Elzer.

That's enough of Jericho. They're monkeys. It's all right. And they make stuff. And they've got little digital laser finger things. Yes, they're very intelligent monkeys that make things out of nothing. That makes them great. All right, let's do another one.

Let's talk about something a little simpler. There's another humanoid-style species known as the Kymbrach, or Kimebrach, or something along those lines. They are like a simian-like humanoid species that actually coexisted with this other. human culture known as the Interex. Now, you may not remember what the Interrex were. The Interrex were a highly, highly advanced

subsector of humans that were separated after the age of strife. And then they actually ended up having really high-level technology, but the technology was kind of sort of chaos-based.

Oh. And so they were the ones who created the poisonous blade that actually stabbed Horace that Aribus stole. Oh, that was them that made that. Okay. Yes, because Horace went and found their civilization was like, eh, because he didn't really know about chaos at the time. And Aribus was being conniving and stole the sword. And then they got into a big fight because someone stole the sword. Fucking Alps.

But the Kinebrock were a group of like the Simeon-like, species that actually were kind of dying horribly and they were actually saved by those InterEx people from extinction because they're I guess their world was they were populated or something I don't know I kind of see them as like the the yeah I kind of seem like the Drell in Mass Effect where the Hanar rescued them they're mostly extinct now which is unfortunate around during the Horace heresy era

but they're still kind of around so you might have like a sort of alien kind of species guy that you might run into perhaps it could be like a good thing for a book but they're mostly they're mostly gone that was like a smaller faction um there's this something a little more interesting uh enslavers aptly named boy i wonder what they're all about inslavers uh here burkey quote mark off your bingo yeah check it uh call them what you will krell sirens or enslavers just one which, unsanctioned, caused the destruction of Hives Scorpius when

one of those things used her brain as a gateway to this world. Within three days, the entire Hives' population was reduced to drooling mine slaves. Within three weeks, an entire continent was at war, and all because the governor thought his family should be exempt

from the psychicol and refused to give his daughter to the black ships. Inquisitor Malin, Ordo Zinos. Oof. That's not. They're jellyfish boys They're big brain boys Yeah that's

Big brain jellyfish and Slaver boys Oh geez that's a That's a lot of chaos to sew In a very very short amount of time Yes A lot of chaos And with big brain boys The enslavers

When I said they were known as Sirens They were they were being cheeky It was P-S-Y-R-E-N-S Sirens Got it. They're basically brain boy jellyfish. But they're actually native to the imiterium. They're a psychic entity that's like native to the warp,

almost like its own form of fauna. Okay. And so what these things will do is find an unprotected psychic being and turn them into a living warp portal. And they'll puppeteer them in a weird way and they'll eventually turn them into drooling mine slaves. But eventually they can create them into, like turn them into a portal to let other of their jellyfish boys come out.

And then they can start taking over psychically people in an area and then enslavers, hence the term. Man, that, they sound awful. Little jellyfish boys. They got big old eyes and they're coming out to causing real, real issues. I think they actually were the reason the last old, ones were killed? Oh, really?

Yeah, let me see. The so-called enslaver plague that was unleashed millions of years ago led to the downfall of the ancient and highly advanced intelligent species now known as the old ones. They kind of put the final nail in the coffin.

Yeah. When you said they were like, they latch on your brain, all I can picture for these guys, even though we've been calling them like jellyfish boys, All I can picture is a future on my brain slug. That's it. That's a pretty good one. I was thinking of the brain bug from Starship Troopers.

When it gets his brain sucked out? I know I've seen Starship Troopers, but I don't remember a bug sucking out brains. It was like a really big buggy boy. It was actually quite, it looked like an anus. Oh, oh. Thanks for that image. I just posted a gif of that things like anus mouth, like right close up, and it makes me very not happy that I ate breakfast this morning.

That's a little gross. Oh, boy, that's a lot of gross. So, let's talk furries. What a transition. Let's go. All right, let's talk about furries. All right. So the next one we have here is called the Saharduin.

I guess this is more so a scaly. I'm not sure the exact term. But they're an amphibian Xenos that have gills, erect posture, four webbed limbs, and a fined tail. They're known as the Piscian warriors. They have little wave blade swords and rifles that are kind of like bolters. And they carry backpacks that are connected by tubes to like their gills, probably to allow them to survive outside of water. Now, they got absolutely curbstocked by the real furries, known as the Space Wolf Legion. Space wolves

The space wolves And so they got their ass slapped But The planets of the Sahara win Remain mainly unexplored And pretty dark They fought against them

Every so often The white scars fought against them Actually at some point In like modern 40K time But yeah There's not much on these guys at all But they're basically like little Scaly fish furry dudes

They're called, what, the Paisian? Did you say? They're called the Sahara Wyn. Oh, okay. Yeah, well, it's just because Shai posted a picture, and it was like Piscian warrior, and I was like, wait, I was like, that makes sense, because Pisces, Pisces is a fish.

She also posted a second picture. Well, okay, yep, that's uh, mm-hmm, okay. Yeah, that makes sense. That's a very shy thing to post. You know, that's the, that's the weird thing, is that we're always considered the problem people,

but then Shai does this shit This is why Shai finds us boring It's because compared to the shit that she's into We're hell enormy dude Yeah and we're also old She's always bored by us well Yeah Let's talk about

Let's talk about the dark angels Not the vampires Ow The Dark Angels I want the chaos vampires The Dark Angels So we still haven't talked about Dark Angels yet

Perhaps I'm waiting a while just to make them angry. Same with Blood Angels fans. Because they asked me for a Blood Angels episode almost on the daily, and I just kind of giggle at them and enjoy their pain. On the daily? Pretty often. I do want a Blood Angels episode because I find them to be very cool.

I thought Sanguineas was super dope. So I, too, am anxiously awaiting a Blood Angels episode. So I'm right there with you, people that bother Bricky Daily. Well, don't bother Bricky Daily, please. But that's Blood Angels, D.K. Yeah, not dark angels. Right, right, right, right, right, right. Blood angels, you know, we'll get there eventually.

Maybe I'll do them last to spite them. Who knows? The last episode of Adeptus ridiculous. The final one, our outro, our last episode before we retire. We've covered everything in 40K. 40K has announced they're going out of business. We've covered everything. Our finale episode will be on the blood angels.

So the watch, these guys are called the Watchers in the dark. That's a cool name. It's a really cool name. They're kind of weird. I would, they're not the same as this, but I would have them look a lot like

what you'd imagine a hound would look like in the Night Lord's trilogy. Little, they're very small, teeny little, kind of jaw-wall-looking attendance. They're just like, they're very tiny little mini-humans. Little people down there and they are always hooded.

You could barely ever see their features. They are almost entirely covered up. And they're a strange little like humanoid race that are native to their lost world on its Caliban. And they inhabit the rock, which is a fortress monastery for the Dark Angels. And you know about a fortress monastery now. They did that with the Marines Arons. Yeah, yeah.

I know about what the Marines Aron got fucked. They did. But they're these tiny little, hooded attendance and they go around high-ranking warriors the dark angels and there's just kind of a mystery. No one really knows what's underneath the robes. Um, no one like, even the, the little guys are kind of unknown to the dark angels themselves. They don't know what they are.

Sometimes they think there might be some kind of unknown Xenos creature, a servitor construct. No one really knows what they are. are. And during the Great Crusade, a knight by the name of Zahariel, Zahariel, he became a librarian and he first encountered them on a quest. And

they've been there on Caliban for God knows how long. And it's weird, these little bastards, because they kind of do, they just do things for the dark angels. They haunt the lower levels of the rock. They kind of haunt and walk around

the bottom levels and they're completely silent and they bear weapons, they carry gear, they sometimes they like do little sermons and read books, but they're nearly impervious to damage. Whoa, really? They seem to be immune to violence or anything psychic, like completely immune to psychic powers. In fact, I think in the tabletop you can use a watcher in the dark to deny the witch to cancel a psychic power. that's that's that's that's pretty good like those are pretty good little servants to have yeah but they're just like they're so tiny look how big that sword is in his hand that's true but if you could like retrofit them with like tiny weapons and like actually send them out like if they're like immune to violence and damage and psychers as far as they know well that's true that's true they probably don't punch really hard yeah probably not so well i mean you you don't know under all those robes it could you just be muscle and it's just muscle right so when they hit you it could be like you know

watcher in the dark randy savage i'm giving you three minutes asrael he lives he lives in the rock right dway he lives in the rock right if you smell anyway dwayne the watcher the watcher in the rock the watcher in the rock the watcher in the rock like the dark angels are walking around and they just have this like really buff small guy down beneath them. Like hey chapter master as real my watcher seems to be a little weird

and like the robes are fucking skin tight and it's just like gains pure zero percent body fat 100 percent muscle he's literally carrying around a space marine. He looks like Stewie in that episode of family guy when

he like takes steroids and he gets really buffed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, wait, why did these little dudes serve the Dark Angels? Like, are they being paid? Are they profiting off this somehow? Or is it just, eh, we like being subservient?

Like, what's their, what's their snake? I don't know. Oh, it's just a thing. They just, these are our service. They're just there. It is said the Watchers in the Dark are the heralds of troubled times ahead. That's it. They're just kind of

there and they just kind of help. Oh, okay. Happy, happy little helpers. Although, that, that, so there's a picture, uh, the tri-send that's a dark angel next to one of these watchers in the dark. Uh, aren't space marines like nine feet tall, 10 feet tall? Uh, yes. I would be careful with which, um, uh, which of the, oh, no, I think, I think firstborn

space marines are like seven and a half feet. Oh, okay. Because I was going to say that, that watch from the dark still comes up to, about his waist, so that watch are still like, what, five foot, at least? Uh, maybe a little small. Maybe like four feet. Okay. Give a take.

By our standards, they're not that small, right? Like, they're about the size of a normie human. Uh, maybe shorter than average normie human, but, uh, you know. Maybe like a, like a nine-year-old. Definitely not that tall comparatively, because if you think about it, if they're, if they're, like, to the waist and a space marine's like seven and a half feet tall, that's, like, half way 3.7. I don't know, whatever.

Point being is that the little watcher boys, they're just these it actually kind of works out because the dark angels are Mr. Mysterious and Mr. We have a million secrets. So having these unknown creepy little attendance, I think

it's actually pretty cool and very much goes along with their lore. Oh yeah, definitely. If they're all about their secrets, then that fits perfect. Yeah, it works out. And Also, they don't like chaos. They seem to be very, they're very opposed to chaos and opposed to, like, the powers of the warp, which is probably why they are also, you know, kind of immune to it.

And which is ironic because everyone calls Dark Angels heretics. But that's a side joke. Yes, it is. But, yeah, I mean, doesn't everybody hate chaos? Well, everybody that's not, you know, a part of chaos or living in the warp. Everybody hates chaos. Everybody that is part of any form of, uh, what is it?

Like society, most likely, yes. Yeah. For we do live in one. We do indeed live in a society. Thank you. You want to hear about the thyrus? Sure. Let's hear about the thyrus.

Do they have thick thighs that save lives? No, they don't. Oh, man. We're Zenos faction. The thyrus are really weird. They're a squid-like alien species that are a little bit like harlequins who see war as a performance. And so instead of making decisions to inflict casualties, they make tactical and decisions that are based on spectacle. So when they try to kill things, they're like, what makes biggest boom or what would look the prettiest?

Okay, okay Oh my god, is that what these things look like? They've also got big smiley mouth teeth And tons of arms And a weird carapace Oh my god When you said squid people I was imagining like

Have you ever seen like a mind flayer In Final Fantasy? Yeah, yeah, yeah That's what I was thinking Like sort of the squid head But kind of a human-ish body I was not expecting this big fucking bug-looking mother-

No, they're like hunters from Halo, like a culmination of like worms Oh boy, that's gross, those things are disgusting. I hate them. I hate them. They're kind of funny

though. Like their weaponry is surprisingly insanely devastating but they're too busy on making it look cool. Yeah, Shai said their weapons are super power And they super powerful And they could have kicked a lot more ass

If they weren't constantly making horrible decisions To show them all for fun The guard apparently knows them as squiddies Oh really Yeah Thyrus warrior degenerate slime-coated scum Slow moving inefficient Physically Stunted and barely sentient

A poor challenger to mankind's destiny Give the Squiddies no quarter It's weird on that poster it makes it look like the squitties are very small and that picture makes them look very big I think that might be

one of like the guardsman's primers so the guardsman has like a handbook and it's very like 40s propaganda kind of thing it's very inaccurate like Eldar are known for being slow and dumb just shoot them that's right their their handbook

is notoriously bad at giving decent information. Yes, orcs are bad in melee combat. Go punch them. Pretty bad concepts. Bad advice, really bad advice. Holy shit. But the weird squitties,

they have, like, their names are very theater-like. The Cyrus Warriors, they're also known as soliloquins. So soliloquy, they have like prop masters, which is a term for them as well. They're very,

they're very much like a theater act but they're a theater act of horrifying squid monsters which is kind of cool in a weird way yeah looking at them they're not the Xenos that you would expect to be like oh let's put on a show let's make everything spectacle and pretty

and like they they look like a horror chaos demon like if you showed me that picture of them I'd be like oh that's got to be some stupid chaos faction like a zinch thing or whatever, would not expect them to be all about the spectacle at all.

I would expect them to be eating people's heads and then sucking out the insides. They might be doing that still, but they'll be doing it with like a stage light. Fair enough. All right. Let's say what's saying a little creepier. Oh, boy.

Let's talk about the rack goal. Okay, the rack goal. All right. The rack goal or rack goal. Quote from the recovered Vox data of a merchant static, they're coming through the walls

we've lost the engineering of the port gun deck Urgent assistance is required We need heavier arms Quote screeching sounds interlaced with rapid shotgun and fire God Emperor save me They've broke Cuts off

Well that sounds awful The rat goal are fucking horrid They imagine they're like the Jukari which is already not good that yeah it's very bad to be compared to them sure but they have

eight limbs and like no eyes and a big metal mouth oh these dudes look fucking awesome I am so sad they don't have minis because these dudes look so boss

whoa they Jesus those things do look dope as hell. Say Jesus one more time for the bingo card. Jesus! Yay, okay.

We got it. But yet they look so dope. They look like they should be like in like an aliens movie like a xenomorph almost. A little bit, yeah. They don't quite have the head, right? They don't have that long

elongated weird xenomorph head, but they look that's cool. That's cool. look like a cross between like a person, a reptile, and a spider. Yeah, they're kind of reptilian. That's one of their main things. They're Zenos Marauders, and they're relatively new, a little bit adjacent to the, well, a sector, basically, but they were countered only about like a hundred years back, give or take.

Oh, okay. They're very much near this large expanse of Halo stars, and they're just kind of out there somewhere in the deep in the dark don't really know where or how but they kind of come on out and they're very much like a little bit like Droucari where they seem to be

around entirely for the want to slaughter okay so they descend on like a ship which by the way their ships are really cool looking they have this weird like curvature they almost look like giant knives yo those are

so sick those are way cool than the Imperium ships, a lot bigger, too. Yeah, they're super creepy. Another quote is, they come out from beyond the light of the emperor, savages who will skin you while you watch. There is no escape. They will consume us all.

Survivor of Iraqul attack. I mean, obviously, for us, this ain't shit, night lords, but it doesn't really matter. Point being is that they're actually, they're actually quite a threat. Now, granted, anything against the full might of the Imperium is chump change because the Imperium is laughably large. Sure.

But, you know, if you are a merchant ship or even a small imperial fleet and you come into contact with these guys, you're going to have a bad time. Oh, yeah, definitely. It's weird, like that one picture shows them with, like, sort of, like, really rustic-looking weapons, like just an axe and a couple of, like, a couple of, like, like whatever looking guns, but like their ships look so high tech that I'm kind of surprised that they use such like, um, such crude weapons. Like, I'd expect them to have like these big ass laser guns or like a fucking, you know, a chain sword or something, but they just kind of have like an axe, shotgun pistol. Well, if you look on the top, uh, picture, they kind of have like metal armor. Uh, as you can see, it's kind of draped around their body. Um, though I'm imagining

looking at the knives they have on their arms, that's probably like used for skinning. Because let's not forget the reason why they're around. They're just to really slaughter people and have a good time with it. Yeah. Do they do any crazy rituals like the Drukari do where like the Dracari'll like turn you into a sofa

for all of the turn? Or do they just like, ah, we skinned you. Hooray, that was fun. Move on! They're more so, they kind of remind me a little. bit of like Krogan's, where their society is brutal, but they're, they're like, kind of like a beast, a primal beast that have simply progressed to a higher state of technology. But I think that they're very, like, I think they have like a hierarchical system.

They probably, they probably kill each other to get like on top of one another. That's my assumption. Quote, the technology of the rackle is so rammed. Shackle primitive and generally poor in quality that it makes the orcs designs look ingenious. Their ships are among the few still using nuclear fission reactors in the 41st millennium as compared to the Imperium's plasma fusion. In fact, these aren't even good fission reactors. They regularly leak such massive amounts of radiation that any normal human would be killed almost instantly.

That's so weird because their ships look so much cooler than the Imperium. I just thought they were more technologically advanced because the ships looked so much fucking cooler. Well, they're constantly showing signs of high amounts of radiation and warp taint on their bodies. The radiation, we know where that came from. The warp taint, however,

that's an interesting possibility. A lot of, like, they implant themselves with other additional upgrades, like other, maybe that metal guy on the top actually has that armor implanted onto them.

But things like that. They tend to, it's really, really weird. They have some super creepy looking shit. They kind of remind me of like a combination of, what were those, what were the names of those things in Firefly, the creepy marauders? Oh, um, shit, the Reavers? Yeah, Revers or something along those lines. Yeah.

They kind of remind me of that mixed in with a little bit of aliens. For example, check out this fucking dude This is a It's called a render And it does what you think it does It renders flesh And bone and anything He's even got like a chainsaw arm

Yeah, he has an arm that's holding an arm That he sawed off of someone That's a great picture That is a fantastic picture They have like Techno shamans which is kind of interesting they have like these ships

like this is another picture of the ships they're so cool they're really dope I really like these ships I'm sad I didn't know about these guys earlier that's probably the my favorite ship design that I've seen so far

those look really sick they're legitimately like Xenos combined with almost a little bit of predator like for their hunt you know Mm-hmm.

So technologically, they are not very advanced. They just steal shit, and they kind of ramshackle everything together, like pseudo-orcish. I don't know how ramshackle it is technically, because they probably don't have the power of belief like orcs do. Yeah, yeah. I mean, they use nuclear reactors. So they're basically using what is akin to our current 21st century nuclear reactors, except it's just leaking radiation like mad. Yeah, but they're using our, they're using our tech in 40K. Like that's...

Which would basically be primitive. Yeah, that'd be like sticks and stones and, yeah. Granted, they do have spaceships, though. They do. They're spacefaring. They are. They have boarding vessels, apparently, because they obviously get in the enemy ships somehow. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

They are, they're weird little bastards, but they're super cool. I wish they'd had more. I wouldn't mind if they made an actual codex and like an actual army for these guys, because they're so dope. I would take even a small variant. I'd go with like what the Harlequins currently have, which is literally only nine models and a small bit of rules. I'd take that for these guys.

Yeah, they're cool. They're really dope. They are surprisingly interesting. I like it a lot. Yeah, if they get shit done, who cares if they're maybe not as technologically advanced? There is one final Zenos race I'm wanted to talk about. There's not much lore on them, but they're pretty horrifying. Okay.

These are known as the Umbra. U-M-B-R-A. Oh, good old Excalibur, huh? I guess that's one way to put it, yeah. I got that. I got it. All right, all right. It's been a while. you know, I don't like, well, I'll play no war for, oh. So the Umbra are a non-humanoid alien species that are immensely hostile.

And as most Zenos are. As most Zenos can be. And they're very weird. They're actually, in a sense, their anatomy is just a strange black sphere. Oh However I see why they're called umbras However they have the uncanny ability To control the shadows Oh no

Oh no I don't like that And through useful manipulation of said shadows They turn into like grotesque fleshy shadow creatures that consistently grow and evolve and mutate

due to the shifting shadows. Picture shy put up top. If you ever play Darkest Dungeon? Yeah, a little bit. Not a ton, but I played a little bit. Did you remember that flesh boss that was like four different pieces of flesh that would constantly contort? I do not, unfortunately.

All right, shy knows what I'm talking about. I'm sure she'll put a picture. Um, but it's almost like that, but with like, fleshy shadows. Oh, that's so gross. That's very cool, though. That's super edgy, super cool. That picture reminds me a lot of like venom and like Spider-Man symbiotes. A little bit.

Kind of has that similar vibe to it with like the holes in the flesh and the sinew kind of, you know, stretched out. Also, those guys that are getting fucked are ultramarines, so you know. Oh, man, do I love the umbra? Great. Best Zinos faction I've ever seen. God, so, so, I bet they have just the most pure intentions. I bet they were just minding their own business and everybody, you know, I love the umbra. I love the umbra.

Mm-hmm. What? They are very cool, though. You got to do it. They're very edgy. They're very cool. Like I said, if you're a fan of Venom, I see no reason why you're, You shouldn't be a fan of an umbra.

These things are super neat. It's actually rather interesting, but the concept is that the physical form themselves, yes, shy, that's the image. Very good, you got it. It's actually like a small reflection of the actual creature where the rest probably exists

in a separate dimension. Probably the world. So it's almost like a shadowy, fleshy iceberg where the actual creature is being stifled almost like a funnel into the material realm

through the shadows and so unless you're in pitch darkness it'll never really be able to be itself in fact upon one of the the megos was able to capture one and was only able to really

fuck around with it by lighting an entire room full with light to remove any no shadows yeah Yeah. And because of that, he was able to dissect it, which is that little black and white image you see up there.

And it has that weird, like, little goopiness in the inside. The creamy center. Yeah. It looks like a fucking maltball. It does. But so that was kind of the little weird specimen that it was. Oh, no. Now I can only see that as, like, the tootsie roll pop.

Like, how many likes does it take to get to the center? of a Tutsi roll pop. Depends on how well, how we, be not afraid. It's gross. It's like a category cream egg. They're actually really creepy.

Apparently there's a question, questionable text by a self-confessed heretic that speaks of a quote-unquote, war in heaven between star devils and gods, which, you know, we know what that, we know what that is. Sounds familiar. But it says,

After all the old gods were killed, one survived and hid within the warp. Then she was born in the long ears brain, which would be Slanesh, and chops him a million times and kicks the shards out into the cold to linger. She says to linger like always. So I guess the assumption is that this guy was like, hey. Well, it says when Umbra die, they physically scream a painful series of images into the brains of anyone nearby, including a humanoid figure splitting apart, a warp storm, deep space, and the word linger.

So I guess the thought process is that Slanesh was born, found the last old one, chopped them into a little tiny mincemeat and threw them out there, and it's gone fucking crazy, and it's like linger, linger. Oh, that's very creepy. That is a creepy origins. Everything about them is so creepy. It's kind of cool. I like the concept.

I like the concept of the last old one ever, like surviving out of pure fucking hatred as these tiny little balls and then whenever it can, it just like comes out of its dimension and fuck shit up. Oh, man. That sounds.

Bad ass. That sounds super badass. So if you were ever in a completely pitch dark room with an Umbra, you'd be absolutely fucked. There's just no chance for you. You're gonna die. Well, I don't know. There's so few records of them.

Fair enough. We truly don't know. Oh, I was going to say, like, where do the Umbra, like, where have they found Umbra before? Like, is there, is there a planet that they stay on? normally, or is it just random happenstance that you run into one? Because they're just these little shadow warbs, so they don't necessarily have to stick to one planet. I assume they could travel space, maybe.

Well, if they're possibly in the warp, they can do whatever the fuck they want. Apparently, they're often spotted near the starship's warp drives. Oh. But really, like, let me make this imposed upon this statement. they are literally like this is a entire race in the Warhammer universe and there is one page on the wiki

one wow there's not much here there's sometimes around the entrances to the Eldar webway the warp engines it could be the possibility that they're actually not in the warp

but they're trying to return to the warp I have no clue that would make a lot of sense okay I could see them wanted to return to the warp sure. If they collect around entrances to, well, so the eye

of terror, is that considered a webway? I mean, that's just a portal to the warp. So I guess that's not technically. The eye of terror is a rip. It's like if you've got, if you're wearing a hoodie and there's a t-shirt underneath your hoodie, the t-shirt is

the warp. And normally the only way to get to the warp is to take off your hoodie, which is warp travel. The eye of terror as a hole in your hoodie. Gotcha. I was going to ask if the umbra would have collected around like, um, uh, during the fall of Cadia. Like would they have collected around there?

Oh. Since there's a big tear. That's a great question. I really don't know. Because the umbra, they would have had a lot to feast on, uh, during the fall of Cadia. With all the chaos and all the guard and all the Imperium hanging around. You make a good point

I don't know They're cool And I think they need more But I don't know They might not have invented the Umbra The Umbra The Umbra might have been invented after that So

That's one way to put it Umber cool They're dope though I genuinely like them That ultramarine shit aside That helps though But they're really cool They're cool

The Borkin Bokin I forget how to say it already. No, the rack goal. What the fuck? The rack goal. They're pretty dope. Those two are like legitimate.

I almost kind of want to do a game of 40K where we have like a narrative situation where we say there's an umbral presence. And so when you're fighting on the battlefield, you have to stay out of the shadows the terrain create. Oh, that'd be really cool. And yeah, if you get stuck in the shadows, you have to like roll a dice

and the dice determines what happens. to you. And you have to determine whether retreating into the shadows is worth it because the umbrella might eat you. Oh, that'd be great. That'd be really cool. Perhaps if you're in the shadows, you get like a minus one to hit so you don't get hurt as bad, but at the same time, you also have to deal with the possibility of the umbra touching you. Oh, that'd be great. That'd be super cool. You should do that. I should do that. These are cool ideas. Anyway, very cool ideas. This is really all that I had for other races. There's a couple other ones like Zotes, but Zotes are just like

big reptile centaurs. They got a new model recently, but I don't really, I don't particularly find them that interesting, sorry, everyone. You know, they had no squats! They ain't no squats! They had no squats!

Squatts! It's squatted. So that's an option, or those are some people, but you know, we had a, or Shai came in me with this idea for doing like, you know, doing some others Zenos races because we thought the sloth were so cool. And they are.

They make my skin crawl. That's what makes them so neat. The sloth, the rock goal, and the umbra would be awesome, awesome Zenos races. Yep. Make minis of them. What are you doing? You have all these cool things. Make minis, man.

Man, we kind of, our fan base is quite talented. I wonder if anyone of them would make like a 3D print of them. We can create custom rules and shit for them, you know? be the change you want to see in the world my dude I mean now that we put it out in the ether I mean you're right we do have a lot of townland listeners someone make an umbra someone make a rackle and someone make a sloth

yeah now that is cool idea but I think I'd prefer a really buff watcher in the dark and CSI Inquisition first before we get into that yeah guys make the memes before you make anything really serious come on Yeah, make it, give me, like, give us our CSI Inquisition first, and then we'll go farther. Yeah!

All right. Thank you everyone for watching this episode of Debt is ridiculous. My name is in Bricky. You can find me at Bricky in all the places, D.K. D.K. Diamanties in all the places. Yeah, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, you, quite shallow, the quiet shallow and, the quiet shallow and all of all of the, places. I guess you could say that

this podcast... Were you trying to come up with a one-liner at the end of it there? I couldn't think of anything. Yeah!