Adeptus Ridiculous - OCTARIUS WAR PART 1: BAD DECISIONS | Warhammer 40k Lore

Episode Date: March 30, 2022

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Welcome everyone to another episode of the Adeptus Ridiculous Podcast. My name is D.K. Diamantis. My co-host is Bricky. He is going to serenade us with some sweet Warhammer 40K ridiculous bullshit. But before he does, if you enjoyed today's episode, head on over to patreon.com slash Adeptus Ridiculous, where you can get access to the Discord. You can get HD posters. The one right now is a...

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slash adeptus ridiculous. Bricky, merch, books, stuff. Merch, books, and stuff. And merch is orchidate.com. Orchidate.8.com. Check out the description. if you want some merch, hoodies, t-shirts, stickers, dice, and the like.

Book, we have Krieg by Steve Lyons. We will be reviewing it early April. So make sure you are ready for that and you have finished up the book. And finally, no, that's about it. I don't know. I don't know. No, no, I think I said that because I thought that I might have something. And then I took that three second pause to figure it out.

and I was wrong. And also... Nope, that's it. I guess we'll have our night contest video out soon, but, I mean, that'll be soon, I guess, but it's over, like, the contest is over, so... It's your contest over, yeah. We have a lot of entries to go through,

so if it takes us a little time, apologies, but we did a four-hour stream looking over all of them. So, you know, we'll get, to it. We'll definitely get to it. We'll get to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Speaking of things that are not going great and the world's having problems, Warhammer. Warhammer has a lot of big problems going on. Yeah.

Dean Kaman is coming in hard with that segue. D.K., you know what's coming. Me fucking up a quote really, really badly. Oh, I thought it was the jar, but that works too. actually I actually only sort of have a quote for you I don't actually have a quote for you there's no real quotes I could find for this one but I do have a quote that is related

to what's going on with our topic okay okay it's a very simple quote it is um the risk I took was calculated but god damn my bad at math Inquisitor Cripman M41 997 That sounds like something

I would say because I'm I'm terrible at math I almost failed out my senior year on math grades alone That's completely fair I didn't do anything past algebra two trig Because no Yeah in high school I only made it to algebra two And then in college I think I made it to trig

And then I was like yep nope don't need this anymore for my English major Another another glorious day of waking up and not needing to use sign, cosine, and tangents. I like that. Put that shit on a shirt. That's a really good one. Actually, that is a great idea.

I might consider this. Anyway, you won't get a topic, so let's go ahead and tell you what it is. Okay, yeah, just give it to me. I have no idea. We're doing another one of those battle stories this time around, kind of like with the first tyrannic war and all that fun jazz. Okay.

What battle? We are doing something known as the Octarius Front. It is a currently ongoing battle, and it is being released alongside a lot of additional supplement books for stuff in the game right now. If you may remember a bit ago, I was talking about how the Tiranids got this big old update called Crusher Stampede, and it made the big bugs really strong. It came out in this supplement book. So imagine, like, DLC for Warhammer, you get some updates for bad armies and some new things. you can use, but there's also an ongoing story that is currently happening right now

in the modern day 40K universe and that is the Octarius sector or Battlezone Octarius. Oh, so this is happening right now and this is modern day 40K this is after the fall of Katie. This is happening right now.

There is no end of this conflict. They're still duking it out. We're going to be doing this in two parts and it just so happened that the second part came out. out, or the second part, Luton made a video on it like four days ago. And so, yeah, it's like, as in like, it's coming out right now.

Like, it's happening now. Okay. And, well, it's also, no, it starts in M41, or 997 M41. So, our story begins in the Imperium Tempestis. I have map of 40K. Enter Google Click on I don't

I don't know where this is Ultimate Segmentum Tempestus I think is the name Okay I don't know where I am I'm lost It takes place in this place DK I'm lost

I don't know where it is Ask Siri Maybe Siri knows Bring on your phone Siri The Warhammer Warhammer Siri is just some servo skull above back it's just some little bottomized bastard behind your head

All right, well whatever. Point being, it's in this area in space in 40K in the Imperium Tempestus or the segmentum Tempestus I believe and the Imperium lost contact with a bunch of systems out here in the tempestus world. A bunch of systems are just going

blip, blip, blip, blip. And like, all right. Yeah, that's bad. That's big bad. So, do you remember who Inquisitor Cryptman was? I don't remember who Cryptman was. So Inquisitor Cryptim, Kripman is one, an Inquisitor, which is bad. Normally a problem.

But he was the one, I believe, who helped find the initial experience of the Tirenitz, I think. But he is also one of the only inquisitors to ever be excommunicated from the inquisition for being too mean Oh, it's that guy! It's that guy. Was he the one that was like, oh yeah, this is the tyrannid path,

let's just fucking exterminat on his planets along the way because then we starve them out, but so we kill a few million people. They were probably dead anyway, because, you know, tyrannids. we are you know originally and this is something that I am I definitely might get wrong I get things wrong all the time remember kids Adeptus ridiculous is entertainment before accuracy

we are not we are not Adeptus correcticus that is another one that you should put on a shirt entertainment before accuracy and then just our logo that's actually a good fucking idea that's a great that's a great slogan I mean, it's what I've always tried to do. I'll try to be accurate, but I fuck up plenty. That's our motto, dude.

I love it. All right, well, I'm going to do my best entertainment for accuracy. That's ridiculous. Yes. I'm going to talk about the equipment. Yeah, okay, so I thought, I don't remember which part Krypton did that, but I believe it was for this. So he found out that when he would travel individually to these planets that were destroyed. and you'd find that there is a Tyrannid High Fleet attacking it, known as Leviathim.

And this Tyrannid High Fleet is particularly weird because it was attacking the galaxy vertically. Like, we have a, we have a horizontal spiral galaxy, and they were attacking everything from beneath. They were not traveling horizontally through the galaxy. They were coming from below. Oh, that's so weird Yeah, it's a little weird I mean, I mean the galaxy is in You know

You don't have to attack from a horizontal level You can come from underneath But it's just so weird to think about like that Well, there's a good image of it That is High Fleet Leviathan It is going up and causing problems Yeah Oh boy, that

That definitely looks like an issue So, naturally, Cripman decided the best idea would be to bomb humans. Of course. So he decided to take scorched Earth to a very literal sense. And every time a tyranid group would end up on a planet, step a toe in its water, Crippin would be like, Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, virus bomb. And he would just virus bomb the entire planet.

he would maybe and he would generally not maybe he gave some evacuation orders but overall he was very much in this sense of well they might be infected somehow so better not be be too scared and he would just virus bomb the planet and he did this to a lot of planets which despite the horrendousness of the untold billions of people he virus bombed an exterminatist it did genuinely slow the it's here in an invasion. Because that is their food source. Yeah, that is their biomass. It reminds me of, have you ever seen the movie, Kingdom of Heaven?

I have not. Well, it's like, so they're like crusaders and they're trying to take back Jerusalem. Or, yeah, the Muslims are trying to take back Jerusalem. And the big thing is like they can't invade or they have to invade very slowly because, like, you can't move your army too far away from water. because if you're not in your water, you're fucked. Your resources are fucked. Your army's going to die.

And that's kind of sort of what's going on here is he's just bleeding them of resources that they need to survive. It's just, you know, those resources are people and planets. It is the same methodology they used in Halo. The Halo rings starve the flood of a food source by destroying the entire galaxy. Yeah, we are the food. So get rid of the food Get rid of the hive Yeah

But so despite the The horrible loss of life And the absolute And the fact that many other inquisitors Were like Cripman my dude Oh I mean I get it But god damn Like calm yourself

Please Because a lot of the other inquisters Were not pleased with this But Despite that After his little Massive bombing He started to notice

that the tier nids were advancing on orc populations in the octaria sector. And he was shocked at how good the orcs were at fighting nids. In fact, their savagery was so fast, but like, you know, the more orcs fight, the stronger they become. And their repopulation speed was so incredibly fast. They were generally pretty good at dealing with the nids. But at the same time, despite their repopulation being so quick, the nids kept gathering a ton of biomass from the orcs.

So they were kind of fighting each other to a standstill. The orcs would repopulate too quick and the nids would get biomass too fast. So it was like two like unstoppable force immovable object. I vaguely remember, I don't know if it was in one of our live streams or something, but somebody might have mentioned this. And like, it was like the idea that this wasn't actually

that great of a thing for every. everybody else in the galaxy because Nids and orcs fighting each other just means like they're at a standstill, but actually they're both kind of getting like stronger from it because the Nids are getting a shitload of biomass. The orcs are getting stronger as they fight because the more they fight, the stronger they get and they're repopulating themselves really quick anyway. So isn't it kind of like the worst case scenario that these two are at a standstill? Well, for everybody else in the universe. It's kind of really bad when these two clash, isn't it? Do you remember what my quote was for this episode?

The calculated risk, but I'm really bad at math. What a great segue. So, what Cripman decided to do was he and a bunch of Death Watch, which, do you remember the Death Watch Marines? They play a decent, a decent population here. I'll give you a slight rundown. Death Watch are a special Specops variant of Space Marines. that pull from every other chapter of space marines. Right, and they have like the cool black and gold armor?

Black and like silver, black and gold, they have like the text on it, and they're entirely dedicated to killing aliens. It is literally, I am an ultramarina, I have seen the horror of the Eldar or the fear of the orcs, and I am dedicating my life's goal to killing aliens and being specialized in it. So they often work with the Ordo Xenos, of the Inquisition.

And so Cripman, as an Ordo Zenos Inquisitor, took the dissum death watch with him and captured some gene stealers. He then used the gene stealers to populate an orc spacehulk and launched it towards the Octarius sector in which held a large orc empire, mainly consisting of a lot of,

well, a lot of orcs, but also blood axes. So the gene stealers infected the orcs. and began to populate. And Cripman had the concept that the gene stealers, because normally they're not too good in infecting orcs, but the gene stealers still are like the, they're like the scouts, right?

They probe, and therefore they eventually psychically signal to the tyrannids to come over here. So it signaled to High Fleet Leviathan to go here instead with all these orcs. And that's what happened. a gigantic amount of tyrannids began fighting an enormous amount of orcs. And Critman was like, damn, I'm fucking good.

Damn. God damn. And there they go, and they're fighting each other like crazy. But, unfortunately, as the war grinded on, they basically just kept getting bigger. Orcs would repopulate massively. Nids would gain more biomass massively. So, both sides, despite being stuck with each other,

were growing and growing and growing. Yep, that's a bad math calculation. Yep. So much so that even warlord Gaskell Mokurok Thraka and the swarm and the swarm lord itself are now here and being a part

and the swarm lord can kind of be remade but Gasco I guess Gasco could too because he got his head chopped off but um you know they're like they're here if the orcs win this there's going to be a orc wa that is like

galaxy shattering like unstoppable completely unstoppable. If the Nids win this, they have an orc-wa worth of biomass. And I mean, look at those tendrils already, though. Like, there's a lot there. Yeah, there's already a shitload of them. If they, like, double their size or triple their size, oh, it's over, dude. It is over. So, Cripman essentially just gave one of the enough.

Yeah. He essentially just gave one of these armies enough. enough fuel to become a significant real problem to the galaxy. Basically, he just thought that they would fight at a standstill basically for eternity, and then they would be able to somehow deal with this later, but all he actually is doing is pumping them both up. The problem is that right now, they can't be eliminated by the Imperium. They're both too big. the Imperium does not either does not have the time

or the resources to mass and offensive to kill them The Imperium can't deal with this That's that is that's big If the if the Imperium of all people doesn't have the resources And strength to deal with a Oh wow Yeah that's that's bad that you don't fucked up God damn

bad at math. Yeah, holy shit. So Cripman got completely outed by the rest of the inquisitors for his scorched um, like, planet policies. And a new inquisitor was then

told to be in charge of this situation. The name is Nassir Sahansson. Sahan, son. Something like that. Sure. Uh, Sunny D. Inquiv. The Inquisitor, Sunny D. I like it.

Inquisitor, Sunny D. Get your vitamin D in there. Get the D's nuts. D's nuts. So, Sunny D being the new Inquisitor, and I'm just going to, he's Sunny D now, with a situation, he needed to figure out what to do with, uh, to deal with this. And so he decided on something called the Cordon Impenetra. This is a giant circle of imperial ships and bastions surrounding this. Octarius section.

Space Marines, Guard, Mechanicus, a giant circle around it, more so with the idea of containment over-cleansing. So they don't get too out of hand and just, you know, the fighting doesn't spread the entire fucking

system. Yeah, well, it's already in the system. Many systems, in fact, but like everywhere else. Now, this idea, being solid, because it's much, you can defend a section with fewer troops than you would need to attack something, of course, you know, like within good positions and all that.

But it would also doom all the planets inside the Octarius system. Because they're building this giant blockade, everything currently inside this system being dealt with by orcs and nids are completely on their own. It is like, if you were just so civilian in this area, They basically said, sorry, like, we can't go in and help you. Good luck.

Have good luck. G-L-H-F, G-G-G-E-Z. Oh, man. Jungle diff. Damn. That sucks. That sucks. I guess it's gotten so out of hand that, like, it's probably not on a singular planet.

It's just like the whole system is fucked. Like, the whole system is just covered in orcs and nids. I mean, basically, there's a plan. there that is normal and fine but then they know nids like it's like saying if Neptune right now had a Nid invasion full blown

and we're here fine for now but we're here and we're like we got a fucking leave and the people who are supposed to leave are like you're on your own guys good luck and we're just sitting here like they're literally coming oh my god they have Jupiter oh my god they have Saturn

oh wait that's that's that's reversed whatever oh my god they're Mars, we're fucking dead. Yeah, yeah. So, key military... Just blow up the planet before they get here. He said, oh my God, look, an inquisitor's ship, we're saved. Ugh.

You see, you see Kripman's, like, gangster fucking spectacles staring down at you? Remember the Conqueror's abs? He has, like, a window that projects his face. He's, like, looking down at you with those bright-ass spectacles. And he's, like, loll. LaMau says, Krypton. Pushes the button. But they did evacuate some things.

Key military personnel, artifacts, imports, and military items, and they did not evacuate any civilians. Of course not. It's the Imperium. They don't give a shit about the civilians. Yep. Now, some people did get off world, because a lot of rogue traders decided to come by and sense an opportunity, and were basically like, you want evacuation? What do you got?

Got some cool shit? Yeah, you want to barter? How about some, how about some, oh, fuck, what's, what's it called, what was Doge Van Dyer's things? How about some concubines? You know, you got some feet picks. But you're going to say, how about some feet picks?

That too, you know? I don't know what this rogue trader is down for. And if your life is on the line and, like, you know that your planet or system is, Doom because Nids and Orks. Give him the farm, man. Give him whatever artifact he wants. Give him all your money.

Like, it's better than dying with it on this doomed planet, right? So I'd give him whatever the fuck he wanted. That'd be a really fucking good, like, HBO miniseries. Imagine, like, you are on a planet and the Nids are attacking you and are about to arrive and stuff. And a rogue trader shows up. And you're like, you're like a peasant. And you need to find a way to get onto a ship somehow. Sneak on board.

Well, like, like anything. Steel artifacts, you know, like, who knows? Grave robbing, stealing, mayor, bear. That's like episode one is they run into like a Mechanicus Tech Priest and somehow like capture him. And they're like, and he's like, the tech priest needs to get off world also, but he's being held captive by civilians and he's like fucking pissed. This is ideas, man. I'd watch it I'd watch that show hell yeah

There are so many good like ideas Like smaller bottle ideas you could have for shows like this That they never ever want to use Yeah right Like damn if only GW would listen to the people That buy their IP Did you imagine if there's actually a rogue trader Who just fucking love feet picks

And he just He's like One toe is one entrance One toe is one entrance Every entrant presents a foot No, no, you have to like remove your foot Oh boy You have to like cut your foot off and provide it to him

Oh man, that's taking the foot fetish to a whole new level He judges your foot, he's like Mm-mm, your cut was a little abrasive next That was not a clean enough cut You hesitated far too much and now it's ruined This was done by some irregular medical personnel no amegos biologist be gone. I remember the Caiapus Cain book where he's like the rogue traitors, scum, all of them.

Yeah, all scum. The guy would always go on rants and shit. I loved him. Anyway, so, yeah, civilians were all left behind, and military personnel artifacts and the said was there. But some of the worlds in the outskirts of the Arcturius Center became slang known as warden planets. This is really similar to Cadia, where it's basically this extremely heavily fortified planet they used to kind of keep something in like the Eye of Terror was for Cadia. Right, right. However, this is something that they touch on a little bit that I wish they would touch a little bit more on.

In order to make these worlds warden worlds, they would spend years of industrialization and destruction of the world. A lot, like, the natural beauty of this world, like the lakes and the forest and stuff became nothing but hive city style mining operations and over-industrialization and pollution killed off all the vegetation and caused like melanoma in the population and all this stuff because heavy excessive industrialization

in the span of a couple years was needed to create this world to prepare itself. And like, so many civilians were just there like, why bother even saving this fucking world if all of his beauty is gone? Damn, that's, that is, that is, that is, that is the conundrum, right? You kind of, you kind of have to make it this stronghold fortified area, but in doing so, everything that made that planet special to begin with,

you have to sort of, uh, uh, slash and burn to make way for, uh, the, uh, industrial hive cities and the, and the military, so. You need, you need your resources. Yeah, what did you really save if you had to slash and burn the whole thing to the ground to make another hive city? I mean, you saved your people, sure, but you sure shit didn't save the fucking planet. And even then, the people are being conscripted into the guard, you know? That might as well be a death sentence for a normie civilians. A bunch of commissars are coming down and they're just like, this is time you're being drafted.

The Emperor's Grace guides us all. Which is such an interesting concept, you think. Like, I bet, obviously a lot of people don't like what's happening, but you can't argue with the commissar and the ecclesiarchy with him. Like, congratulations, you are being rescued. Please do not resist. Yeah, right? And I mean, if you're a civilian, you can't really, like, even if you were allowed to resist, it's like, okay, well, congratulations, you're not going to go into the guard, but the Imperium is still here. and you're still in a system that's getting overrun by Tyrannid and Ork fighting. I mean,

the Imperium's your best bet. Yeah, like, you're a hive ganger now. You work on the fucking manufacturing line. Your planet is an industrial revolution now. You are now working on the factory line 16 hour days. Yeah. For no pay, because the emperor wills it.

Are we the bad guys here? Yes. Aren't we the bad guys? It's always it. The orcs are having a lot more fun right now, aren't they? Oh yeah, the orcs and the tyrannids are having just a ball. They're just having a ball. They are, the two of them are getting everything they want.

Meanwhile, we've getting tens to hundreds of planets are being fucking either eaten alive or refactured into worlds that are being eaten alive, resource deposit-wise. Yep. It's like an Orkin Tyrannid prom night, dude. They're just having the best time doing their little dance. Everybody's growing. Jesus. Honestly, the tyernids would have eaten all the vegetation anyway. They just decided to eat it all in terms of industrialization regardless.

Yeah. The tyranids literally drink the seas. God damn it. They just, they make a big soup bowl out of the planet, don't they? When they fully concrete? They have the giant Leviathan straw. And they're like, ooh. Ooh, strawberry.

Good soup. Good soup, good soup, good soup. Anywho, after all this is going on, other inquisitors are trying to figure out different methods to stop Sunny D's concept. A lot of them believe that a massive and fast strike against them should stop the growth before it gets too out of hand, despite the fact that Krypton is like, we literally can't do that, we aren't strong enough. So there's an issue between some people believing in this stuff here and there And I mean, I should make it clear how many players are here You've got High Fleet Leviatham, the Swarmlord's around You've got a giant amount of blood axe orcs

With some great names You've got war boss Zog steel tooth You've got warlord Magza da Colossus Cog fist steel snapper Stugbrog dug face grinder Cadgrit the red hoof, nap-rot stub fingers,

uh, git crub, Zag-Grob, iron boot, and, and, oh, oh shit,

mech-boss, the mech-lord is here. The mech-lord. Oh, my God. The mech-lord is here. I didn't know he was here. Let's go. Oh,

let's go from, from Brutal Cunning. Good for him. What was the name of, um, of the main guy again? In Brulacca? Ulthak?

Ulf, Ulthak, yeah. Okay, there's overfine blacktooth, which I wasn't sure if he was someone special, but, uh, damn it, I can't find an Uftak here. Damn it. Damn it. Man. Well, the Mettlord is here, so if the Meklord is there,

and Ufdak is probably there too. And then also a large amount of blood axes are there, which means he's very upset. He's so angry. But actually that was one of the battles There's a bunch of blood axes Took some hume vessels And pretending like they were offline

And when they tried to get them back They just They just crashed them into the Imperium That's such an orc thing to do That's such a blood axe thing to do When the humeys try to come get their ships That I think is off-lawed We're gonna charge him up

And then ram them actually good plan in it oh my god I love the board X-orcs so much so sneaky the other ones though that were players here you've got the gene steeler cults that are everywhere

there's their seeds of all their jeanssters have been here for centuries the death watch is all around here you got blood angels chilling Skatari admec and the Mars is there and even the Trucari are coming around seizing opportunities

for slave taking as all the military personnel have evacuated to the civilians that been left behind Oh no Oh my God It couldn't get any worse

for the people in this system, could it? It's like you're either stuck being forced to join the guard because the Imperium came and sort of took over your planet

and revolutionized it you could get eaten by a tyrannid you could get absolutely blown away by an or maybe a little of both, or a Drukari comes and takes you and makes a sofa out of you. Living in the Imperium sucks. Yes, it does, and you have no help. Your best bet is to become a slave to the Imperium and work in a factory or something.

Oh, that's brutal. Are we the baddies? I'm for debate. I don't know. Those Drukari are pretty nuts. That's true. Levels of bad. But so, after this, we're trying to figure out the plans to do, right? So, like I said, this is part one of two, so we will have a second part later with the more stuff.

But we're going to end it with this little story that was told. So there's an inquisitor known as Inquisitor Van Roth. And he's trying to find a different method of dealing with this situation. What he found was a fancy-pancy orc mech helmet. And what this mech helmet was, was it would have this crazy psychic signal. And then whenever it was near the tyrannids, the tyranids' brains would cease to function properly because it would snap the synaptic link to the bigger bugs. And because of that, it was able to kill off the tyrannids with relative ease.

So the Death Watch, being the baddest as they were, were able to procure it. And they took it with the Inquisites. and the Edd's Mechanicus in an attempt to replicate it, of course. Of course.

Of course, unfortunately, though, this would need live test subjects in order for this to properly work because they needed

to work with them multiple times and figure out the possible uses and blah, blah. Yeah, yeah. So, Valwath traveled to an

Eldar maiden world where he would use, he and his group would use the crown to test it out. Unfortunately, the crown appeared to never work on anyone or anything

that wasn't an ork. Because the orcs have orc tech, you know? Yep, it's that Y energy. It's that big YWA energy where only they can make it work and anybody else who gets their tech, it just flit. So in order to,

though, after figuring this out, they realized that either via the ork tech or other reasons, it was calling the orcs to their position as the orcs would make their way to this Eldar planet probably because of the signal from this hat they had.

So they allied with some Kraft World Eldar outcasts here and there in an attempt to possibly procure a way off this planet. Okay. This did not work.

No kidding. As them them and other inquisitors were making their way attempting to get out of this area. The Death Watch that were trusted with the Crown attempted to cross the mountain range, eventually with some limited opposition there.

And as soon as they watched the orcs land, the Tyrannids were then drawn in. Oh, no. Well, good luck. You're fucked. Their Death Watch librarian eventually was like, ooh, these two sides seem to be occupied. with each other. Let us, uh, I think we can probably withdraw now. And they fought an entire uphill

battle, literally an uphill battle, escape against the amount of Zenos coming in, literally to the top of the mountain in which they saw every imperial transport in the sky raining down into the atmosphere from the orcs and tyrannid invasion. All of their ships that they had orbiting the planet to get them out, we're just hooks burning up an atmosphere coming down to the planet surface. And that is the last thing anyone saw and the last time anyone saw them.

Oh my God. Holy shit. Uh, yeah, that sucks. Ork Crown. Crossed off the list. Does not work. Does not work. Do not work.

pursue this tech. It will not help in the slightest. Oh my god. I should mention also just the sheer volume of guard regiments that are currently here. You have the Argovian foresters, the Cadian shocktroopers, Armagedon Steel Legion, Death Corps of Cree. They play actually a very big role here. 47th Geiglin Ogren Auxilia. The Tertius Mollers, Erdwald heavy gunners, Keistan Ordinancers, Kyrgyz Calderdiers, Kusalt Prime Canaaners, Nazakhin rhinocerids, no-bechkin, bardish, oh my god these names. Sonashi, Royal Guns, Tanar Ward Warriors, Vostroian Firstborn. We even got four fucking Tempestaecians groups.

The 22nd Thadoid Griffins, 55, Cappac Eagles, 17 Zion Pythons and the 54 Zion Jekylls. You've also got the Dark Cracken Space Marine Company. The Adlerc, the Dark Crackens, I think, are actually a pretty popular faction, or a popular

side faction. Yeah, they're a, they have a Crackin logo and they're pink and black, or purple and black, and they are a Salamanders successor. Oh, hey. No wonder, it's popular. There's also the Atlantean spear,

which are a lot like Atlantis-looking dudes, obsidian jaguars, the Death Watch, of course, and a lot of others. Tons of sisters of battle, Mechanicus, about nine nighthouses, Imperial Navy.

Like, it's everything because it's a fucking 40K war. Even the, even the chaos has arrived. Even chaos is here. Yeah, that's gonna be in part two.

Where's the smash meme? The smash meme? What's the smash meme? Oh, oh. Everyone is here. Everybody's here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, man.

That's a lot of guard. Like, that's, you hit almost, did you hit every, well, is Katie? Oh, God, oh God, no. So, uh, uh, oh, there's still plenty of Cadians. There's Cadians everywhere. Yeah, not as many of four. But, uh, well, I guess. But no, Cadians since the most pop.

The planet broke before the guard did. Literally. Will Smith slaps you immediately. Leave my planet's name out of your mouth Keep the shovel jokes out your mouth The same fucking memes Regurgitated over and over again Yep, we will never see an end to the Will Smith memes

Ever I very much enjoy the Will Smith memes Yep yep yep yep keep your biomass Out your mouth Fucking mouth Oh, first of that's hot with YouTube Rewind and now it's the bitch slap hurt around the world. Oh, God damn it, man. Good old Will Smith.

He's going to be able to watch real hard tonight. He's going to get those. He doesn't have to use the binoculars from next door. He can be in the room this time. Oh, my God. So fucked up. Yeah, well, whatever. Whatever.

Hollywood, right? Hollywood, yeah, whatever the fuck. They're all, they're all, they're all scumbags in their own way. Yeah, yeah, who fucking cares. Now, speaking of scumbags, four hammer 40,000. Yeah, right. Actually, that was actually about the end of my part one right there. Oh, okay.

Well, there you go. Part one. And ends with their, ends with their big possible plan of the Ork Crown going to shit. The Eldar world getting the siege, the nids and orcs are everywhere. Things have gotten bad. Yeah, things are not looking good.

I don't know how this gets solved. Like, I just don't see a way that this ends up without like either the or the tyrantids becoming superpowers. Very often. But like, how does this end without one of them becoming the dominant

force in this galaxy. Very, very often, you get that situation where, like, very often the Imperium straight up just can't deal with a situation and they win via the use of things like artifacts or assistance from other people. Like, very, very often you just straight up can't fight in conventional ways and you have to be able to somehow deal with it in a new process. That's what they did with the

Harud, with the Harad with the Harad with the fucking Iron Warriors. They create some like reverse time dilation ability. Yeah. I think it would be hilarious if it became such a threat that like just to get rid of the two of them like chaos and the

Imperium actually like somehow made a ceasefire and they actually had to like work together. Chaos is they just hate them so much though like yeah I know that's why it would be so funny they'd never be able to but they'd be like I mean if we don't

these fuckers are gonna kill us all anyway shit I'd be hilarious it's it's certainly interesting it's just like they have such that they have such this like our way or the highway chaos is so let if you know if we can't work together

let the galaxy burn then you know it's like if we don't get our way then we'll kill everyone on our way out. They're just, they're pure, they're so spiteful. They are, they are, they are nothing but pure hatred. And it's almost kind of cool in that way. It's one of the reasons why I like chaos is that, like, if we can't have our way, fuck you and fuck everyone else.

Yeah, if we can't have our way, then nobody can, and you can't have your way, and we're taking our ball, and we're raising the galaxy behind us. my god I want to see like a picture of everyone's like playing four square in the yard and lorgar is playing like it's trying to play fucking handball but he's by himself because no one wants to play with him oh poor lorg guy the giant crow sitting on the handball uh wall crow a crow oh oh oh corvis yeah he's like corvus call lorgar lorgar you fucking pussy get back here play four square

Get in the square, dick one. I just love the concept that the Corvus Corax is outside Lorgar's window, like, last. What's that scene from Gumball, where it looks like J.K. Simmons, and he's like fucking touching his nipples outside the window. Oh. I never seen Gumbo.

He's like, you will lose, and we will win. You'll be all like, ooh, and it will be all like, ooh. I mean, that sounds like the perfect reference, except I've never seen Gumball, so I don't know what you're talking. about. Gumball is fucking great, even for adults. I've seen little clips of it and little gifts, and it looks fine. It looks funny, but I just, I never got around to watching it.

And then you play that theme song where, like, it sounds normal, but then every time it does the big drop, it, like, has the two giant ass cheeks, the Omneman thing, and it's just like a crow. It's just Corvus Corax. The Omneman ass drop? I like it. Yeah, it's just that, please. Okay, we're off the rails.

We are totally off the rails. Entertainment before accuracy. That's our slogan. We finally have one to properly explain what we do here. I feel so bad for the people who came in here, genuinely expecting legitimate. Well, it's kind of their fault. They joined Adeptus Ridiculous and expected accuracy, but like...

It's in the name, man. I try to get... I try to be at least 80% accurate. Yeah. As far as I know, you're doing great. Yeah, well, you wouldn't know any difference. We're two fucking apes throwing shit at each other, and Shy is the zookeeper has to clean it up at the end.

Shy is absolutely the zookeeper that's like, oh God, I have to clean up this fucking disgusting mess of an audio file and edit it to make it actually funny. And you wonder, and people wonder why Shy's a big ball of anger and hatred. Yeah, Shy. Yeah, Shy. Yeah, Shy, clean our shit. Yeah, shy, get to clean and wash those walls, idiot. Yeah, I'm the scat man.

Skibbidi-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-h.