Adeptus Ridiculous - ORK GUNS: DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA | Warhammer 40k Lore

Episode Date: October 4, 2023

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everyone to another episode of the Adeptus Ridiculous podcast. My name is D.K. Diamante's. His name is Bricky and Warhammer 40K on my podcast. It's more likely than you'd think. But if you enjoy today's episode of the podcast, head over to patreon.com slash Adeptus Ridiculous, where you can get access to the Discord, bloopers if they happen, the $15 tier gets you access to all of our posters in digital HD format, including the most recent Z. Zeldari poster. I am so mad. I didn't think of that before the comment section. Whatever. Patreon.com

slash adeptus, ridiculous. Bricky, how about stuff? I'm upset that I didn't think about that either. You make a good point. Yes, it is October. Sorry. It's all right. It's all right.

I've been so excited about it. I've been chanting this entire morning, and I lost my voice. It's October, and we have our massive volume of October merch. This is only available until the end of October, with the exception of like two products, like the little Lord regular will stick around. But all the fun glow in the dark ones, the zip up hoodies, the new sweatpants, all of that is available. Now it is down in description, orchidate.com. Get it while the month is spooky. And also finish reading Eisenhorn. We'll probably probably do that in like a week or two.

And, uh, and yeah. All right. Eisenhorn, Zenos. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So it's all good stuff. Anyway.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. D.K., when you think about October, you know, it's, it's spooky month. Spooky, scary skeletons. It's fantastic, you know? Like, I, October 1st is here, and then I get to look at all the really funny skeleton

memes that come out. And one of my favorite subgenre of memes is like hardcore skeleton. with unassuming text. Hardcore skeleton with unassuming text? Shy, you know exactly what I'm talking about. You know exactly what I'm referring to. It's like the motorcycle skeleton that's like, hey, brother, you make sure you get a good night's sleep today.

Ah, say your prayers, drink your milk, eat your vitamins, brother, with a skeleton that looks like it's right out of ghost rider? Yes, exactly. Okay, okay, okay. Those are some of my favorite subgenres of memes. Okay. So I am very happy with it. Okay.

But what else do you think of when you think of October? Candy. And how much I hate candy corn. Warhammer-related. Candy corn is dog shit. It is the worst. I cannot believe people eat as much. I have one piece of candy corn.

I'm just like, I could just die. It is awful. People who eat candy corn are the people who ask for wheat toast with their breakfast instead of sourdough. Well, that's... Yeah, okay, that's fair. Anyway, God damn it, D.K., what else do you think of? Oh, that's Warhammer-related?

Warhammer October, come on. I mean, I would think of necrons, because they're like skeletons. We already did that. Next. Maybe some oaks, just because they're kind of, you know, monsters, basically. Because it's... Because it's or... Ork to. Orctober

There we go Well, I was just thinking Because they were kind of like green And we big old moot-staging it Yeah I mean there's that too Orctober works too Yeah

Orctober yes sir re And that is the episode today Is we're talking about orcs And your quote is Hold on to the pin Throw the other pot Ork grenade Now is it an or an or

grenade or is this a squig that they're chucking? That's actually a grenade. Okay. I could imagine them like breeding squigs that literally had pins in them that exploded like grenades. Well, they do have bomb squigs, but that's not what we're referring to today. Today we're chatting about orc weaponry in particular. This should be a fun one. Oh, the various and enjoyable amounts of weapons that the orcs like to run with.

Now, obviously, we've covered a couple of these before in a Kyrioth episode, because when you talk about big orc vehicles, you're going to talk about big orc guns. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Fair. But in this situation, we're talking about just a variety of orc weaponry, everything from your most basic shooter to your gaze of mork. Oh, there's a weapon called the gaze of morgue? would it be surprising if there was also one called the gaze of gork?

No, it would not. I actually don't think there is one called the gaze of gork. What? I think because Mork is a bit more on the shooty side and Gork is a bit more on the stabby side. I think there's like the claw of gork. But aren't they both brutal and cunning, but cunning and brutal?

Shouldn't they both be? In the general world of orcs, normally morke is the shooty and gork is the stabby okay the only reason is you know the guy differentiate them somehow but the orcs are still you know goofy silly little little people

they're just silly little guys they're just silly little guys silly little gits hey just a little git we have that's going to dark now yeah but let's start off with something really nice and simple

let's start off with the classic shooter Okay The only Defining characteristic of the shooter Is the fact that there is no defining Characteristic of the Shooter I was gonna say like at some point I was gonna be like How are you gonna do orc weapons

When the orcs have really nothing That defines a lot of their weapons And it's just scraps that they just kind of wah together Like, it sounds like, what, what is a shooter exactly? Because it can, it's just a gun that's just cobbled together by an orc. That, that basically is the general consensus of the shooter. The only thing that shoot us share together is that it is basically a gun that fire us projectiles. And that's about it.

Because, you know, you think of orc logic. And you're like, if your shooter is the same as another boy's shooter, then your shoota can't possibly be better than that other boy shooter. It's true. Because it's the same. I need a biggest shoot. Yeah. The only thing that shootas have in common is that they fire projectiles at a decently quick rate and they are incredibly loud.

Orks, man. Orks, you got to love them. You got them. You have to love them. The or orcs. truly are a I don't know how to say I mean so many of the options we're going to be talking about today

is just such obvious orc culture and that's culture of course spelled with a K because everything is spelled with a K Of course because they're orcs, yeah But shootas look In all kinds of ways They're massively customizable Some of them can sit with bad nets at the end

Some of them have Have like the AK I don't know what it's called The Banana Magazine the AK 47 one that's kind of curved Oh, is it actually called a banana magazine? I am gun illiterate. I'm not good at it either, but I think they're called banana mags because they're kind of curved. Some have flat mags. Shooters will fire sometimes just really large caliber bullets.

Some will fire explosives. Some fire not that. What they shoot doesn't really matter. Yeah, I mean, it's orcs. It'll fire something at you at a high rate of speed. and it'll just sound like a, like, like, all hell's coming with it. It's like a thunder clap. It is significantly louder than most weaponry.

I think it's louder than a bolt, bolter as well, because the orcs want it to be loud, because being loud is fun. Mm-hmm. And just, you know, just shooting a weapon is enough for an orc sometimes. Sometimes, but, well, I don't think shooting a weapon is enough. Shooting a weapon and then killing things on mass is, that's, peek. Shooting a weapon at someone else and then making that weapon extremely loud is great. Based and red-pilled.

Shai says in the war boss book, a human uses a grot pistol, even though it's built for a tiny grot, and it almost breaks the human's hand with every shot because it's so big and loud. And that's a grot pistol. That's not even a shooter. That's not like a big boy shooter. That's just, that's just a little baby grot pistol.

I like, I like how the grot pistol looks like, like a 50, 50 cow hand cannon. But it's like the size of the grots head. Oh, that's bigger than the grots head. Easily. So is the knife. That knife is huge. That's a noif. That's, I mean, grots are like kind of big.

They like go up to your waist kind of sort of. people kind of forget that Yeah, that's still, that's how Those, that's some big ass weaponry. A reminder also, I actually did a codex art tier list recently with the Porhammer podcast group

and we were talking about the Imperial Guard Codex art. And I like this one a lot because on the far left you can see the orc. Now currently he's dying because he's getting shanked by like 15 guardsmen. I was going to say he's not having a good time. But you can see guardsmen arms latching on to his shoulder slash bicep on the left. Oh, wow.

And just like how big this or, like this is a regular ass orc. And like he is enormous. Yeah. And that, that orc's probably like on his knees too. Like they probably had to get him down to that. So they can jump him. They seem like nine guardsmen to stab him to death. Like a ork shooter is more.

monumentally large, which means that the things it fires are also gigantic. Yeah, that orcch schuta is probably the size of one of those guardsmen. Or at least like their torso or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Pretty big. It's also like, massive. The guns aren't very long. I don't think a whole lot of them are like much longer necessarily than a las gun, but they're just really thick.

They're chunky guns. So with the shuda, there's a lot of them. also the other kinds of shooters. You have the big shooter. Which is the shooter but big. One of my favorite post-irotic memes

is people who play orcs at 40K tournaments. And like, you know, they're fine guys and everything. But it's just so funny to see them in full, like, seriousness talk about their rules. It's like, all right, so this squad has Get Stuck In, which gives them all sustained hits one,

and the leader has the headwapas kill Chopper to get extra attacks and devastating wounds. I'm going to use the strategy. Orcs is never beaten to have them by on death. It's just like in dead serious face. And these are real rules? Everything from that was from the app. I was going to say, you probably didn't make those up either, which makes it even more hysterical that that situation is. is literally happening as we speak.

Everything I said, I was looking at the app. Yeah. But the big shooter is exactly what it sounds like. It is a longer, larger, louder, and heavier version of a shooter. It is often customized by their owner. It is very loud. Sometimes has a bayonet at the end. Fires even larger caliber bullets.

Like a regular shooter fires like gun style size bullets, like 25 millimeter rounds. Sometimes the orcs will just fire, like I don't know, the big shooter probably fires bullets like the size of eggs or larger than that. Or larger, yeah, yeah. I mean, the big shooter that that orc mini is holding,

that's a, that's a big boy. That's a huge gun. See, I mean, we just talked about, like, how big orcs are and to have a gun that, like, he needs both hands and it's as big as him is like, whoa. That's bigger than a guardsman. That's like a space marine-sized gun.

It is pretty giant. It's also somehow scoped. I don't know why. I can't imagine an orc using a scope. Ever. I feel like that the orcs would go through some kind of mental gymnastics. It's like the best orc trumps the most umis. Gotta see them to crump them properly.

Like, I don't know. True, true, true. There would definitely be some mental gymnastics for an orc to be like, Oh, got to look down me scope. To dome is money you means as all I can. Wait, no, no, that's wrong. It's definitely you put the scope on it because it makes him believe it's more accurate. Oh, yeah, and there's just nothing in there.

There's no magnifying lens or anything. It's just like an empty cylindrical piece of metal up there. And he's like, oh, yeah, I can see him proper good. It's like totally It's like totally Cracked Just like it's barely You can't even look through it

Yeah yeah It's like the people that wear the fashion glasses That have no lenses in them Oh my God Yep It's exactly like that for an orc Wait hold on Chai says wait Bricky

Look at the gun Oh is that Is the scope going into a giant iron site? It has a giant iron site In the front That's such That's peak ork to have a scope that goes right into the iron side. You know, oh, oh, darn it.

I can't. There's like a little thing on the bottom, but I thought his hand was holding where the holes are where the vented gas would go. But I see there's like a little protecting thing beneath his hand. But I thought he'd like be firing it and just be getting himself steam burns every time. Yeah, his hand just melts off every time. It's like, oh, it hurts. But his hand just keeps growing back.

Anyway, the other one that the shy posted, that is an iron sight shooter. It has iron sights on it, obviously. But more particularly, it actually has, like, tracer ammunition. Oh. So it fires red glowing bullets. Okay. I guess in typical fashion, the ad mech think this is sorceress, but they very much wish to get one of these weapons to check it out and understand why that does that. But, you know.

I was going to say, orcs know how to use tracer rounds? I, I, I, like, they can just wad themselves up some tracer rounds. Like, I didn't even think that orcs would understand the concept of tracer rounds. Dude, I mean, knowing what they are, maybe a bit of stretch. Okay. There's also DACA guns, which are literally just. Machine guns? It's twin-linked big shootas

attached to war bikes and small vehicles. You've got... The simplicity of the orcs is just pure. You've got the Super Shooter, which is literally a big shooter on a flyboy or some kind of like flying vehicle. Literally just a bigger shooter that you put on a flying stuff.

Okay, cool, cool. And then they have the cannon spell with a K, of course. Of course. This is basically a grenade launcher. Just a really big, one. Often a lot of

them are like the single barrel ones where you fire it and then you put a new one in which is very annoying for orcs because it doesn't allow them to fire very fast. Oh yeah, I'm sure that would that's a downer for an orc.

But they also create a terrific boom and are very intimidating thanks to their large muzzles and that can be that can make the boys happy with it. Yeah, that makes up for the frustratingly slow for you right. I say this every episode, every episode.

I'm so glad we found your knack for Ork Inversonations. It's all thanks to brutal cunning. Yeah. And talent. Nope, take the compliment. So on the yin to the yang of the Shudah, if there's ever a Shudah, there's often always the orcs other, arguably more important weapon, the chopper.

Ooh, big chopper. Big chopper, regular chopper. There's a lot of fewer variants of these chappas because there is no such thing as a standard shopper. It's a lot like the shooter in that it's just something to slice and dyes. It can be as a knife. It can be a machete. It can be bladed, spiked, serrated, jagged, barbed, hand weapons, notched. It could be a goddamn brass knuckle for all we care.

Yeah. If an orc uses it to cut open your freaking belly, it's a choppa. It's a choppa. Shia has the right picture that. Those are all chopas. There's nothing alike. I mean, they are very cool looking chappas. Also, the little grot trying to carry that big old axe is just, I love it.

I love the orcs. They're such goofy little guys. I really enjoy this one. one right here, the big chopper that has it very much located the extra stabby bit. You got to have it. It's just to help.

The extra stabby it's important in it. Chappas are like heavy swords, short swords, daggers, axes, everything. Normally if you're an ork, you either go with one or two options. You go with your shooter

or you go with your slugga, which is basically a pistol version of a shooter, and your chopper. Because you have your shud, your slug in one hand, and your chopper in the other. I like, I like the descriptions on these pictures,

like the big chopper, it's a dead killy eggs in it. And the chopper is just, it's good for killing stuff. It's just, it's right down to the point. Perfect. We love, we,

we appreciate orcs in this house. Like, it's literally down to the point. Ah, literally on the choppa. Because it's a, ah, look at you. I'm trying. You're a funny guy, Brigie. You're a funny guy. Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Oh, I already have. So, now, if we're talking to regular orc, arsenal, they have a chopper. Orchino. That too. A choppa, a shooter, probably a slug of some sort. What's the final thing? We're missing stick bomb. St-I-K-Bomb.

I forgot all about the stick bombs. Stick bombs are a classic grenade. You pull the pin, you throw the other part. It is utilized as normally anti-infantry frag grenades. They often look like the old German ones back in World War II. That looks like... Yeah, that's why I thought they called them stick bombs. It's because those ones have a literal stick that come out of it,

And then you have foop, boop, you know? Most likely, yeah. The thing is, is that, just for reference, it's just, yeah, it's like the German ones. Yeah. They're really, you know, orcs, as you can tell, have a lot of good throwing muscle. So they can go pretty far. No kidding. You mean those green things that are made up entirely of muscle have good throwing arms?

No. Very often the orcs like to throw these into groups of enemies. for obvious reasons, but they particularly like to try to curl them at enemies directly so they can hit them and laugh at them before they explode. That's, that's, I, man, I love the orcs. The contest isn't, uh, yeah, throw the stick bomb and kill as many as you can. It's try to hit him dead square in the face so you can laugh at them before it explodes for extra oomph.

The orcs very much like to watch their opponents. blunder and fall and get hurt because then they can laugh about it. Do they use regular grenades or are they all just kind of stick bombs? Because I could see an ork picking up like a human grenade and be like, oh, it's a stick bomb. And it's like, there's no stick on this, you idiot. But they're orcs. Who cares? And they just throw it anyway.

They probably call it like a crappy, hume stick bomb. And then probably throw it anyway without pulling the, or maybe. Maybe they'll hold the pin because they'll be like, oh, yeah, it's just a worse version. There's no stick. Oh, stupid you me's can't even put a stick in a stick bomb and then chuck it. So there's also a way, not a way, but a ton of various types of stick bombs. The frag stick bomb is the regular. There's the crack stick bomb, which is much of the crack grenade's meant to penetrate heavy armor.

There's the stun bomb, which is, it's a flashbang or something. Gotcha. There's the stink bomb, which is made of cultured fungus and unsavory substances for a green vapor. It is apparent, quote, the stench produced by an orc stick bomb, stink bomb is beyond description and has a powerful incapacitating effect on any non-orcoid creature with at least a rudimentary sense of smell. Oof. Shy said it's like throwing me into a room. and I disagree Well

No no no I'm with you on this I back you up We both take good care of our scent I was gonna say Maybe if I go a little heavy handed With the cologne It might be

Sort of like that But like with just you know An expensive fragrance You know You and I have discussed Discussed male cologne On multiple occasions We have

If there is anyone Who is going to be The Stink Bomb I refuse to allow it to be us. Hell yeah. We will be the new or cringe bomb. Yeah, yeah.

We'll be like the antithesis to the orc stink bomb. We're the Reddit bomb. They throw us in there and then they just, they want to leave immediately, like at the end of Rogue One with the one rebel guy who was like, help us. Help us. The door stuck. Sorry, bye.

Me, when I walk into a room with a three hour of Horacee lecture prepared. Only three hours. I know I was trying to show some restraint. Yeah, you really whittled it down. Well done. Anyway, there's also fiery stick bomb. It's flames.

Smoky stick bomb is smoke. Smoke grenade, yeah. And then the rest. Yeah. The best one, though, is the buzz bomb, which is basically like Bioshock. It's a bomb containing a swarm of trapped carnivorous buzzer squigs. I was hoping you were going to say that. It is a storm.

squig beehive that they throw into a room. I was hoping, when I heard buzz bomb, I was like, please let it be a grenade that is just filled with like hornets or wasps or whatever, like that Baldersgate three spell where you just summon a field of like flesh eating insects that just rips everything apart. Love that. Love it. I also want to say that that's, that picture is the worst thing ever. Oh.

Those giant squigs. I don't like that. Yeah, I don't like that. That's horrendous. I've been playing Terraria recently, and I just got to the beehive part and accidentally summon the Queen Bee. And I don't think I've been scared like that in my entire life. You know, I don't think I've ever played Terraria.

Terraria has weaponry that would rival the orcs. It is very interesting. Okay, okay. But let's move on to see. some of the fancier orc weapons. We've talked about the orcs. Fancy orc weapons, he says. Hey, we're going to talk about the fanciest orc weapon out there, okay?

Okay. The SNAS gun. Oh, I have heard of the SNAS gun. Yes, the Dharipper. D'Ripa. Is the SNAS gun from our good friend, oh, crap, what's his name? Captain Batarok. Oh, right, right, right, right.

Right. Good old bedrock. So snas guns are like orc cursed guns. Most orc guns don't have any sense of understanding, but they're at least like visually look like guns. Yeah. A snas gun is ran by orcs known as Flash Gits. And they are the flashy Gits. They like to show off. They always love showing off their big and crazy snaz guns.

And those are snags. ass guns. These are the ones that everybody likes to meme on for like, why, why do you have why are there, why are there three clips? Why are there three mags? Why is there, why is it, why does it have

the feed thing and the drum? Why does it have eight scopes on it? Why is there a flamethrower one under there? Why is there a what's going on? Yeah, okay. But my favorite one is the bottom left that has a giant plasma coil in the front. Yeah, but it has

It is currently ejecting bullets and there's no other barrels to where it could come out of. Yeah. So it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's, it's a shoot's bullets. I mean, come on. Is that not the most orc thing you've ever heard? Please revive me. I have ray gun. Also, yeah, why is the chainsword part of the bayonet shorter than the barrel of the gun? Well, I mean, you know, if you're up close and personal, you can just whack them over the head with it, you know, just, have you noticed the bottom right one has a flamethrower barrel at the end

yet there's a bipod I didn't notice that until you said it just gotta set this up real quick before I fire at a close range the flamethrower yeah oh my god shy says she has the minis and they give you all the gun

bits and you can do whatever the hell you want with them and you can just make your own SNAS. What are they again? Snazz gun. Snas gun? Okay, yeah. That's actually really cool that you can just customize your own. A snas gun is a lot of things.

These are stronger than regular shooters. They're also obviously, are they hardwired into the orc with like some primitive biotic kind of crap, some orc shit? Wait, really? Yeah, there's like a little bit of like wires that you might see kind of like attached to some of the orcs. Oh. It doesn't really do anything, but they think it does, so it probably does do something.

I mean, yeah, if every orc thinks that those wires make it hardwired to, like, one specific orc, and only that orc can use it, well, then it probably works. The thing is, no shoota is the same, but, like, even the method of firing a snasgun varies. It could be electricity, plasma, flame, bullets, ballistic energy, fast fire rate, slow fire rate, super loud or just regular. Like, there is no single similarity whatsoever what comes to the SNAS gun. Well, it's like build a bear if you were, you know, in complete war and in the art of killing, you know. Oh, yes. Let us not forget the, um, the targeting squigs. They're also attached to the guns. And they're the sites with a little, with little, uh, scope eye.

I love those, I love those, uh, squigs. They're, they're, they're, they're pretty, they're pretty silly. Flash gets, uh, of course. Flash gets in game, just fire a lot of shots and, you know, obviously it's all streamlined very much, but they're, uh, they're known as a crazy gun, your gun crazy showoffs. Oh boy Which is a lot of fun If even the orcs think you're a gun crazy showoff

That is a problem for everybody else Let's go to some big stuff now Okay, okay They're actually Yeah, no yeah we'll do a tractor cam The tractor's about with the K of course Of course, of course And canon too

As everything is, sure, sure So a tractor cannon does exactly what you think it does It is a gigantic cannon at the edge of something that pulls the target towards the beam with a seriously large amount of force. Okay, tractor beam, cool. Often it can go ahead and be used to pull large objects, break buildings, all that kind of stuff.

It can also be used as an anti-air weapon because you can drag aircraft down, which is very, very handy. Very handy, yeah. But one of the more enjoyable methods of the tractor cannon is to get all the grots that operate it to pull in enemy troops and they are thrown with such force directly at the tractor that some, I think, pass out because of the G's. But some don't. And then they're just dropped right there in front of them for the orcs to be like, to have to beat the shit out of. To have their fun. Yeah. I thought they would try and use the tractor to like see if they could literally squish people against like a wall or something or just throw them in.

to like spikes or whatever. I mean, if it's funny, if it's funny to the orcs, then absolutely it's done. Like, I could imagine them playing like a game of tractor catch where they just

throw up and forth. Yeah. No, I think, I think, dies or explodes or something. I think you're, I think you're thinking too, too light. I think if you want to do it properly, you need two tractac cannons to pull like an Imperial Guard tank. from two different directions

until like the humian side is just ripped into pieces and the spray of blood and gore. Tractor tug of war? Yeah, exactly. I like that. I like that. Yeah, that's probably the more orc thing

to do is the tractor tug of war. I like it. See, there's also a variation of the tractor cannon called the lifta dropper. We talked about this a bit ago. Yeah, that sounds super familiar. Here is the image,

if you remember this one. Oh, wow. The most or thing I think I've seen all day. This is also a tractor beam of a kind, but very often the fun thing they like to do with it is to grab. So it doesn't just suck them up. It's almost like having telekinesis, like anti-grab, you lift it up, you move it places.

Very often they'll take like a Lehman Rus and just lift it up. And then like lift it over a giant squirrel. of enemy guardsmen and just drop it on them? That's, yeah, that would do it. That would do it. Watch as it just lands on their head and crushes them all and explodes. Oh my God, it's raining Lehman Russis. Which, of course, the orcs find extremely hilarious.

As they should, because that is, that is, I mean, aside from the mass death and all that, that is a pretty funny mental image. It's a very funny mental image, definitely. Definitely. Wouldn't want to be under it. Wouldn't want to experience it, but very funny image to think about, yeah. There's also another version of it called the Smash a gun, which

is a much more clear version of the lift-a-drop-a-technology, where it grabs it with a localized force field, lifts it up in the air, and then throws it back into the ground at extreme speeds. All right. Sounds about right. Yep. Sounds about right for the orcs.

Okay. One really, really funny weapon, though, outside of all of these various tractor-canon weapons, is called the bubble chucka. The bubble chucker? The bubble chucker. All right. Okay. What does the bubble chaka do? I'm assuming it chucks, like, if I had to guess, they make, like, these bubbles of, like, I don't know how I want to say bubble force fields, or,

bubbles of psychic energy and just chuck them at people and they just wham through people. So imagine you, sir. Yeah. You, sir. Imagine you. So it's a force field. It's a bubbly force field.

Yeah. And normally these force fields would be used for protection. Block bullets, that kind of stuff. But they found out that once it hits an enemy, it explodes on impact. and either do extreme, like, kinetic damage, or will burst into smaller-like soap bubbles and land, like, practically, like, mini grenades and bullets. Sometimes, if you fire the bubble chuck up properly,

it will float towards the enemy, or it'll create the thing, and it'll, like, create, like, someone will be stuck in the bubble. which will be particularly hilarious as they might be holding a heavy Las Canaan or a grenade or a flamer. And then whatever they fire will be directed immediately back at them inside the bubble. Oh boy. Next thing you know, Jimmy over there with his frag grenade throws it in the bubble. And he's trapped in the bubble and just very quietly a hero. and he's just this cloud of gore.

Oh man, and these things used to be used for protection, huh? It doesn't sound like these things ever properly protected anything. I didn't say they used to be used for protection. I said that they are an example of Ork Force Field technology that are simply not user protection. No, there's nothing about this thing or this bubble that will protect you. Sounds great, though. How is it on the tabletop?

Because that actually sounds real. good. Good question. So a lot of these guns we've just been talking about are a group of things called mec guns, which are a variation of guns all held by grots. Let's see. What is this? Oh my god. Statue, I imagine. Oh my God. Okay. So we have the the bubble chucker. You must roll a dice before firing it. And depending on which one, one, two, three, four, or five, six you get. You get a different kind of bubble. Oh, yeah?

There's different bubbles you can get? One and two is big bubble, which is a ton of shots. Number three and four is the wobbly bubble, which are fewer shots, but higher damage. And five and six is dense bubble, which is the fewest shots, but, like, more damage than a last cannon. so very high damage. Okay. Okay. So you're getting a pretty decent bubble no matter how you roll.

It appears to be the case. The bubbles are useful. It just depends. Like if you roll a one or two against infantry, it's great. But against tanks, it's bad. You roll a five and a six against tanks. It's amazing. Against infantry, it's bad.

Okay. So it's that kind of thing. Gotcha, got you, got you. A lot of RNG. They also have the tractor cannon, which in particular, is ludicrously good against flying targets as expected. As it should be, sure. Does that tractor cannon?

Why does it look like it's got like asteroids on it? That's the bubble one. Oh, okay. Also, Shai says, along with these tractor weapons, if a graw operator presses the wrong button, the gun itself gets pulled towards the target, which is pretty hilarious for the nearby orcs. And also probably even more hilarious

because then the gun itself will fly towards the target at massive speeds. Yeah. I imagine they must love that. They might love that more than the gun working the way it's supposed to. All right. So there's a couple other ones. Going back to some more melee stuff, there's also the grab a stick. I can imagine those long sticks they give to like elderly people that can't quite reach things.

And you know, you pull it and it's like a little claw and it helps you get stuff from far away or it's like up high on a shelf. DK, you're a goddamn genius. That is exactly what it is. No way! Why did they have that? It is used by Grots for the most part to like grab a hume or something and then they can't, they get stuck there and then or comes up and wallops them. Okay.

Cool. Cool. Let's go. It often has barbs or stabby bits on the inslides. They used to restrain potential slaves because orcs do have slaves sometimes because orcs are evil. Or yeah, there. There's also like an electrified one that one of the orcs uses, the guy with the fake hair that uses it to mess with his grots. Right, the hair squig, sure.

Yep. There's the gravistick, which is hilarious. One of my favorite weapons in all of orcs is the tank hammer. Is this, I'm assuming this is a hammer specifically to be used at breaking tanks? It is a rocket on a pole. Really? Okay, I mean, hey, that would deal with tanks. They're not wrong.

Oh, yeah, that's the orc. The Zogrod Wartsnaga. He has the grab a stick. That's really cool. Oh, yeah, that is really cool, actually. But the tank hammer is one of my favorite things. It is a rocket on a pole. And they run up and they swing it extremely hard at a vulnerable part of an enemy vehicle at close range,

often exploding on impact. very much also often killing the orc using it. I was going to say that's a one-time use thing, and chances are the person that swung it ain't going to stick around long. Good for them, I guess. Hey, that's some determination right there. Good for them, question mark. So the tank hammer in game has the hazardous rule,

which basically means after you use it, you roll a dice, and if you roll a one, they just die. I'm shocked that there is a way that you can roll, or you can use this thing and the orc wielding it doesn't die. So back in the old, so 10th edition is kind of streamlined a lot of things. Back in the old one, I think you just, you automatically hit and you just roll like a bunch of damage and then you just kill your guy. Yeah.

But now it's, it's more of like a general weapon you can have used to, have use for. Imagine the multiple use of rocket hammer. Okay, all right, all right They also have the bomb squigs Which are squigs with a bomb That run up towards an enemy and blow up Oh yeah, sure I could see the orcs

Yeah, just... You know, this is perfect Oh yeah, sure Just strapping a bomb two-way Well, that's true, I guess this is the same faction That has Grots and stuff Literally riding and aiming rockets At stuff, right?

So I guess it's not unheard of, up for them be like, yeah, I'm going to use me old tank, I'm on. That's fair. Well, let's not forget about the grot bomb. As the name suggests, I assume you strap a bomb to a grot and just... Yeah, and then they explode. Yeah. I just imagine it from...

Go ahead. There it is. Perfect. Oh, okay. For some reason in my head, I was like, oh yeah, they probably just strap a grenade to a grot and then like chuck the grot. You know, like an orc just, yeah, there's the grop bomb. I love it.

So, orcs also have things called zap guns. Zap guns are kind of like just the standard laser weaponry of most orcs. Pretty similar to, like, Lazz cannons, just really big electrical weapons that fire at people. Okay, hence the name. Yeah, nothing particularly too fancy about the zap guns, besides the fact that it's extremely unreliable and tends to blow up, which is, you know, pretty classic.

Yep, vintage orc, yeah. But I would be very upset with myself if we did not talk about the one of the best, if not the best weapon, orc weapon, which is the shock attack gun. This is like a classic orc weapon. Okay, okay. You really don't get more orky than it. So the shock attack gun, if I can find it. Whoa, is that what it looks like?

That is what it looks like when it's not on the orc. What am I even looking at? Where does, how do you wield this? What is it? It looks like a knob or like, I don't know. What the fuck is that? So a shock attack gun is a giant piece of machinery with, spinning blades and lasers and all kinds of electrical gizmos at the end.

Obviously, no one knows how it works. Of course, it works. It produces a very narrow force field through the warp, beginning at the end of the barrel, and ending roughly where the gun is aimed. Oh. So in reality, it fires something through what is basically a quick warp jump transit, very often it is firing a Gretchen

as he is currently being sucked into the weapon As I was looking at the picture of the mini And the art I was like is he vacuuming up Grots Into that gun as ammo Is that what to hell That mini is so great Because of this The accuracy of the orc is always a bit

up for debate, but the goal is, so it has a couple options. Let's say you're firing this Gretchen at a guardsman. Okay. You fire it, it opens a warp portal, and then it opens a second warp portal. And then that war portal might be behind the guardsman and totally miss him. It might be in front. You still open the portal to the warp, though. It's a tiny one.

Demons don't really come out of it. It's not one of those. Gotcha. You might open the port. portal in the front of the guardsman and then a grot accelerates at him at insane speeds. Now, this will probably kill the guardsman outright, but if it was like a tank or something, nothing really would happen. Yeah, you just get a splattered grot on its front.

Sometimes, if the orc is skilled enough, the portal is opened on the guardsman. Oh. And that will cause a few issues. shoes. Yeah, having a warp portal opened on you is never good. And the grot will come out of the warp portal on you as well, basically like fusing with your body. Oh no. In this horrible, like, it displaces the matter around the spot. Oh, boy, that's, I don't, I don't like that mental picture at all. What was that shitty Cloverfield movie In Space?

Where the, like, one person got, like, stuck in, like, the wires and stuff? Oh, I don't remember what it was called, but I remember, like, their hand gets, like, fused into the wall or something. Actually, I think you're right. I think someone actually does get fused halfway into, like, a metal wall or something. I don't remember what it was called, though. So it's like the, I think it's Cloverfield Paradox. And that's the name of it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think you're right. But this often does happen really well. when the Grot opens the warp portal into like a Lehman Rust tank and just completely in a catastrophic explosion, just destroys the whole thing, just renders it completely in operational. The warp portal distorts reality, and it just in a heartbeat,

just completely ruins the tank. That is quite the weapon. It is, back in the day, it would have a extremely, what is it called, an extremely varied damage profile to the point where I've seen it do zero damage multiple times and then one time I saw it do like 16.

It entirely depends. I wonder how this thing got made in the first place. Because, like, granted, orcs, they can waugh stuff together, they can cobble stuff together, but like this is a super highly technical thing to like suck in a grot and just start flicking it around through the warp.

I wonder how to... It is. Mecks. Oh, that's true. They do have the mech boys and the weird boys that tinker with all manner of warp and weird siker shenanigans, don't they? The mechs are, the mechs, the big mecks, all those guys just are so good at creating all kinds of ridiculous weaponry.

That's fair. That's fair. But. That's a great weapon. I love that. It's pretty ridiculous. Orcs have several shock weapons, shock rifle that opens micro warp rifts inside the vict. Oh, they also shock drags this, which we saw in Brutal Cun, which doesn't harm enemy, but teleports entire cars.

Yep, and that's a great way to get beyond a Titan void shield. Ork things break all the time, but often, often an exploding weapon that kills your orc friend is fine because he's no longer in the running to become the new boss. or it's a Gretchen, which is also funny. Probably more funny because stupid Gretchen. Yeah, or it's just funny because it's funny. Yeah. It's like, oh, actually, there is one orc. It is the Storm Boys.

Storm boys are orcs that have, they're jetpack orcs, but they have gigantic rockets strapped to their backs. Like, it's not even like a jetpack. It is just a rocket. Yeah. I feel like I've seen those. Yeah. And it's like, get in the fight even faster.

I wonder how many of them just explode and die. I got to be a ton. They do have an ability where you can advance in charge, which allows you to go really fast. But you need a roll of dice for every single guy in the unit. And for every one, they just die. I love the orcs. There's also Lobas

There's the heavy lava Big Laba superlaba This is literally just a big cannon Yeah they lob shells at people I assume It's an artillery piece It's a big artillery piece Okay

Though I must admit There are a lot of unique weapons Like special upgraded weapons That you have Like choppa of de great Wa The dead shiny shoota Da souped up Shaka the gobshot thunderbuss

The killa claw The overfean's second best Bashah Headwappa's kill chopper Get Stopper rounds Brog's Buzzbomb Et cetera I like that it's the over

What is it the second best choppa It's not his first best one Well it's not bad The overfean's second best Basher The second best basher It's not quite his best one, but it's still getting a job done pretty well.

And I just love that that's a unique weapon is the second best weapon of the overfean. However, once the Octarius War began, the Overfeen discovered this club was not as effective as he had hoped at staving in the biggest tier in his reinforced Chittinus skulls. When the Overfiend discarded it for a better weapon, his boys ensured the club was still put to good use. I love that. I'm actually curious about the gobshot thunderbuss. I want to look this one up real quick.

Gob shot. Yeah, I imagine most of like the unique named orc weapons. It's just like, oh, that's a weird shooting and a big important orc used to use or something. Oh, my goodness. The do gobshot thunder bus. It requires an entire chest of teeth to be loaded into its breach before it shot. Which this weapon uses unconventional. invention plated in gold.

And so not only can it sweep away entire swaths of enemies, but it also fires a literal fortune of teeth every time proclaiming its owner's wealth in the process and having orcs run up to crump the enemy and take the teeth. Wow. I mean, that's, that is pretty ingenious

orc. I don't want to say tech. But shooting the enemy full of like orc teeth, because then you can the other orcs to want to kill them even harder because there's there's money in there is just peak. So headwapa's

kill choppa is Grand Warboss Headwapa and his tribe were last seen last scene charging headlong into a horde of cornate demons but legend speaks of a blood slick choppa that still turns up occasionally

though this weapon looks normal a dark voice is said to growl in the mind of its wielder, driving them on to ever greater excesses of violence. Oh, so it's like a possessed weapon for the orcs? It's a possessed killed chopper. Oh, oh man, the orcs would love that. I don't know. They might be thinking some of them weird, weird warpy things.

True, but once that little voice in their head's like, oh, you should go kill stuff, they'd be like, oh, I, I should go kill stuff. and then just be happy and start murdering stuff. Corn's happy, orcs happy, win, win. And I think for the most part, I can't think of a whole lot of other, oh sure, yeah, we could do Gaz's weapons. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Roar and Gork's Claw. Of course. If Gaz is going to have named weapons, surely they have to be named after Gork and morke, right? I mean, these are the weapons that he also got after his head was cut off by a Ragnar Blackmayne and sewed on. to an even larger body. Yeah.

Which is just excellent. Very fitting. Very fitting. As his head was on his new body. You know what I mean? Because Eldar. I don't have a sound effect for this. I'll give you pipe.

Yeah, I probably deserve that. That's fair. But yeah, it seems like there's a lot of cross-section between like corn and orcs. I think that a lot of the... Well, there's that one orc that lives in Corn's round. Oh yeah, and he's fighting in the arena forever and ever and ever and he's just having a grand old time. I think it's because corn likes physical melee violence and the orcs really like it.

Yeah. I guess the orcs probably feed corn something. Mmm, tasty. I mean, considering that orcs are all mildly psychic, I do imagine they do a little bit, but at the same time, they don't do it for the same reasons that corn likes it. So there is a little bit of a, like, yeah, yeah, corn likes orcs, but orcs don't care. It's unrequited love, she says. That sounds about right. I don't think corn cares if they love him, though, because, like, they're still feeding him.

So he's like, yeah, sure, whatever. You don't know about me. You don't love me. I don't give a, just keep doing what you do. Corn cares not for which the blood flows. But, yeah, I mean, for the most part, everything after that for orcs is relative just larger versions of orc weapons.

It's just the bigger cannon, the bigger claw, the bigger laser weapon. Super, super shooter. Exactly. The boom stick. If you carry it in your hand, it's a shooter.

You put it on a titan, it's big shooter. That's brilliant. It is. I mean, org episodes are always so much fun. I feel like orcs are, orcs and chaos are like,

the bell curve a meme of 40K sometimes where everyone starts off with some kind of Marine this or something but then like once you really dive a hard amount into the 40K lore and all of the ridiculousness

you either like chaos because they're interesting and different and awesome and you're embracing the everyone is evil schick or you're like space marines which you started off with or you're like this whole thing is so stupid, I'm just going to embrace it.

And then you go works. Yeah, sure. The only thing keeping the orcs away from killing the whole galaxy is... Is their stupidity. Is them too busy killing themselves? Yeah. As we've said before, the nerfing, the reason they're not the best and the self-nerf is they're just so stupid.

They couldn't fight under the same banner for long enough. All right. that's all I got for today I can't I you know what's the best thing I learn about all this what's that in a sense a choppa could just be this I don't would that be a smasha I don't have the strength shy just end the episode

wait hold on the overfine's second best basha does that mean its first best basha is oi lads I need a better basha take this one and and and my Thank you.