Adeptus Ridiculous - RACES OF TAU EMPIRE: THERE IS NO VICTORY WITHOUT UNITY | Warhammer 40k Lore

Episode Date: November 8, 2023

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This podcast, my name is D.K. Diamante's. His name is Bricky and Ojoy Grimdark. But before we get into that, if you enjoyed today's episode, head on over to patreon.com slash adeptus Ridiculous and consider maybe supporting us. You get access to the Discord, bloopers if they happen, the $15 tier gets you all the posters in HD and digital format. It's wonderful. Patreon.com slash adeptus ridiculous. Bricky things and stuff. Things and stuff. We are going to be doing the Eisenhorn Book Club very soon. Read that, please. And also, if you want to pick up merchandise, including the still 50% off mats, as well as the amazing music of the third trading card game, Matt, it's incredible, it's in stock, it's available at Orchid8.com. Shai has news for all of you. That's why we're going really quick right now. Roll it, shy. The airwaves in the isolated community of Augrey Point, New Mexico broadcast an enigmatic frequency known as 99.9 FM,

or the unidentified signal. This underground radio station captivates listeners with its late-night talk show where two hosts discuss stories of the strange and unknown under the silvery moon. They delve into the realm of true crime, man-made in natural disaster. odd sightings, mysterious disappearances, and bizarre conspiracies. Their conversations cover an infinite range of fascinating and thought-provoking subjects.

Tune in as day slips in tonight and listen as blurry shapes flicker at the edge of your eye. They're listening to. Damn, D.K. and shy. That was, as the kids like to say, busten. No cap poggers.

I am very excited. Very excited. about it. So, you know, it's going to be a lot of fun because we can't cover everything on Detective Ridiculous, right? It's just like, you know, you kind of have to stick to true crime. We can do a little crypt and stuff, but like there's such a wide variety of like interesting, weird stories that just need a home. And Slap is great. Everybody remembers him from the primer episode. So, yeah, I'm, I'm, Oh, it's with Slap? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. From the Gar-Simer.

episode, yeah. I was only told it's a new project with me and D.K. From Shai's perspective, and I did not know that was part of it. Awesome. That's great to hear. He was a lovely guest. Yeah, he's been our friend for a while since way back in the cursed warframed days. Well, when you guys get famous, I simply ask that you, one, remember me, and two, let me do your merch.

Oh, brother. like you think we go to anybody else for merch? Hell yeah. Shire, we're going to other people for merch. Please don't go to other people for merch. Go ahead. Let's see if you last 10 days of T-spring. Oh, boy, that is fair.

Hey, I'll make you a deal. We'll go to you for merch if you don't make me do a quote today. Oh. That's crap. I also don't think I have the authority to make that decision, but that's okay. While you don't, at the same time, I don't want to ever risk not making more money. So you know what? I will ax the quote today. Viewers check out unidentified signal. I will ax the quote. Wait, wait. Do you actually have a quote? Because that's the most

amusing part. I'll look like an idiot if it for content. I mean, that's always why I get it wrong. I'm throwing for content. I mean, do you do you want the answer to that? No, I asked out of pure sarcasm.

Are you? Why are you the way that you are? Because it's funny. Give me the quote, man. Give me the damn quote. Mr. Electric kill him. Give me the damn quote. Just hit me with a

Quote. I don't have a quote. Oh, do you really not? I mean, not one that does not immediately reveal what the topic is about. It's one of those types of situations. Oh, okay, great, cool. Win, win, let's go. Now, this is one of those ones where I was looking for, so,

okay, rolling this back, in this episode, there are not a whole lot of, this is, okay, okay, Do that. Uh-huh. Um. Me. Uh-huh. Do that again.

Uh-huh. That's shockingly good. God damn. Just a little disturbed, you know? God damn. All right. No, so we, me and Shai came with this topic idea as, as kind of an in-between before our next topic, because the topic after this is going to be like a big one.

Ooh. Bad-Ablower. We were like, what was it? Bad Ab War? I did not say that. There are also other space marine legions we haven't done. True, true, true, true. But they wouldn't be big.

Space World would probably be like maybe two episodes. A big one would have to be an event. Big is referring to like importance as well, not just length of episodes. It's taking all of my willpower not to make an adult themed joke right now. Penis. Anyway, so because of that, we chose something a little bit more like from an underrepresented faction, a little bit more side grade. And then it's like, all right, let's do something I don't know much about it all, of totally out of blue, something that I have very little understanding of. So I decided to begin the research, start looking it up.

And I found far less than I would have liked. Oh. Today we are doing an episode on the Tao. However, it is not simply on the Tao themselves. It is on the Tao Empire. More specifically, the Tao Commonwealth and the auxiliary species of the Tao. Not the Blue Fish people, all of the others. Huh.

You would think that there would be like a ton of information on that, because like the Tao aren't small. I mean, I guess compared to the Imperium and like everything, they're small. but you think there'd be like a absolute truckload of information on that stuff. So there is a decent amount of information on one of them, some information on another, and then

goddamn near nothing on the rest. And it is actually quite unfortunate because it's one of those things that is slightly discussed here and there in Tao books. They'll have like certain ones of these auxiliary species in a book, and they'll do

something really cool and fun, but you never, like, there's no canon artwork or anything of them. So you're kind of just filling in the gaps with your mind. This is still one of my favorite 40K pictures out there. And I bring this one back up because I think it's relatively worth talking about. Oh, yeah, I remember this one with all the weird unidentified xenos in it. Yes. None of these that we see here have had any lore on them. None of them have ever received any names. It is all just complete confusion and randomness. And that's what makes them fun because no one knows who they are. No one knows what they're doing. And it's to kind of show us how big and expansive the world of 40K truly is.

I wonder how they commission that art. If none of them have any lore. this was also the same guy that did the art for the Mechanicus. Oh, yeah, yeah. I wonder if they were just like, hey, just do a bunch of weird stuff. We're not going to use any of them. We just want to make this sort of crest of unidentified aliens, sending off an unidentified signal. And, like, I wonder if they were just like, yeah, just do weird stuff.

We just need it for art, crest thing. They're not going to be expanded on. Just do the freaky stuff. I mean, there certainly looks like there was a good bit of artistic liberty here, considering the mushrooms with guns, shark with gun face, and weird orb people. But for the most part, when I think of like all of the other possible auxiliaries in the Tao Empire, I think about things like this. Now, these seem a little bit more less civilized than some of the Tao one, so to speak. But it's interesting. So anyway, to get started, of course, we won't talk about them much because we already have,

but there is, of course, the classic Tao, the typical fish person. They are non-Axiliary, they make up the entirety of the Tao race for the most part. They are called Tao. Yep, they're the main people, the Tao of the Tao Empire. Classic humanoid in shape, hooved feet, and hands with three fingers, one thumb. they have a gray, blue, colored skin tone kind of a little bit rough in their texture. It's kind of like almost like a little bit leathery

the way their skin feels. And they don't really sweat. It doesn't have much moisture that comes in it. Oh, okay. No perspiration. No perspiration. Naturally, their face has that eye slit where the nose would be.

And, you know, like, that, you know, they visually see a bit better than the average human. Their visual spectrum is just slightly more extended. However, their pupils don't dilate, so they have worse depth perception and slower vision refocusing, especially in low light.

Hence, you know, lots of fancy tech on their helmets and stuff. Yeah, to make up for their lack of vision. Sure, sure. Of course, their physical stress, strength generally varies. The like the earth cast and water cast tau probably can't or probably would lose in a fist

fight with a regular guardsman but a fire cast tau is definitely the stronger type. They're like roughly the same size than a human, maybe baseline slightly weaker because the tau home world gravity is a bit

lower than Terra's is so not as like dense muscle wise. Right, right. I mean, it's like, it's one of those things where, like, you know, training is so different, you know, if you're Acadian and a firecast, Tauga, and a fist fight, it's like 55, 45%, a chance in the human maybe, but then, like, he fights an Eldar and he probably gets trounced because Eldar really fast and nimble, but then, like, if it's a catachin, he just breaks his back and a million pieces because he's a six, seven foot baby ogren, you know, it's all, it's all. all depending. And no, nobody beats. The old Catechin guardsman is just tearing through every towel. This is going to literally backbreak a crisis suit.

You get like iron hands strack and rolling up and just the genuinely in-game punching a crisis suit to death. You know, it's whatever. Have they actually done that? Did they actually punch a crisis suit and win? Fist fight a crisis suit and won? In-game, I said in-game. Like, he hits pretty hard in-game.

Okay. In-game. It's just funny to see. I got to be honest with you. I was like, I wouldn't be surprised if there actually was a canon story where an old Katachin guard went hand to hand with a crisis suit and legit one. I would actually be surprised because the crisis suit's quite big. And also, if that ever happened, it would be the Indiana Jones meme. The Katachin would shout for the emperor crap and then Indiana Jones is the crisis suit and would just vaporize him into a million pieces.

Or it could be a slide Marlboro meme, right? or a slime marble. Anyway, Tau themselves are, you know, relatively, they're pretty much blue humans, a bit more leathery. It's like your classic Star Trek alien where they're just humans with thing on head. Yeah, they just look a little different, but they're basically humanoid.

They're basically humanoid, you know. Little more in this side, little less in this side. Humanoid aliens, yep. So, yeah, pretty, pretty classic. Oh, Shai says, Bricky stop. I found art. Oh, no. Of what?

Oh, no. She's not elaborating. Oh, wow. Is that no, that's not official. That does not look official. That. Wow. No way.

I am, you know, I have to say, I said I wouldn't be surprised, and here I am actually surprised. No way that's official. I said I wasn't going to be surprised and I am surprised. It's from the lexicarum and they only use official art. Do they actually, oh, they do only use official art. Well, there you go, Ricky. No way. There you go.

All right. There is Iron Hand Strachan, local baller catachin, ripping, ripping the head off of a crisis suit. Tao fans, I am so sorry. I told you it wouldn't surprise me. I am so sorry, Tao fans. The Tao just can't catch a break, can they? They like losing every official artwork. It's so sad.

Yeah. Anyway, pass the Tao, the Tao themselves. Let's talk about the most known auxiliary, which is the Croutis Aviana, or the Crout. Ah, the Crout. Eat them up, eat them up. Reese's puffs, Reese's puffs. Okay, I was confused what you meant by that, and then I remember that you know that the crew eat people.

Yeah, they eat people for the information. Eat them up, eat them up, eat them up, eat them up. I must say their home world is called peck, which I can't tell is just a really bad GW meme for, you know, the fact that look like birds. Could be, could be, or, you know, they're a little hungry, little peckish. But the croutes are obviously look a bit more avian. They have four digits on each hand on foot and almost a kind of hollowish bone structure. Their skin is very rough and has those barbed spines kind of across it, both on their body and their head. If you look at their legs, you can kind of see some of the spines kind of poking out a little bit.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. they of course they have their well their color is between brown and green and everything kind of in between with tons of tribal markings generally surrounding them they also have exceptionally dense muscle structures so despite the fact that they look kind of gangly they're actually stronger physically than most human soldiers

because it's just all muscle it's just all really dense muscle in there even though it's a little on the spindly side. Yeah, like, you know, for the most part, if you see a guy who's pretty big, you assume that they are also pretty strong, but you also see, like, it also kind of goes with diet,

you know, like, you see those, like, Shaolin monks and stuff who are just really, like, strong, lean guys, but they look kind of small, but they're, they hit, like, freight training. Like, they're strong, yeah, yeah, yeah. So they're a lot more, like, dense, like the muscle structure is really dense.

In fact, they often have these really quick muscle contractions, so their strikes, like their punches are almost like spring loaded, and they can jump really high. So they got like the one-inch punch, where they break the wood? Yeah, kind of. Like, they punch and jump really well because they almost have like spring-loaded muscles. So you don't want to get into fist fight with a crout. No, no.

accrued will actually do pretty well against a general, I mean, you know, we just saw a catachin rip a crisis suit's head off, but that was Iron Hand Strachan, so that he's a little different. He's above and beyond even a catachin, yeah. Yeah, like whenever I think of like regular guards, man, I think of like a pretty buff Cadian guy. And for the most part, yeah, accrupe probably could take him pretty well because they are quite strong. Yeah.

Also, their guns look cool with the little blade on the end of it, like a long gun with. the blade on the end of it. Love that. I wonder if it had any inspiration from the Tuscan Warriors in Star Wars. The gun looks very similar. The really long version of it. Oh, yeah.

It kind of does, doesn't it? Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. I mean, I could probably try, but I don't want to. That's perfectly fine. If you do it wrong, we'll laugh at you for years. Yeah, I know.

It's going to be a sound clip forever. Anyway, the thing of the crude's head, that little ganglia you see there, it's actually a sensory organ. And so, it kind of like, you know, a little like the quills gather information around their environment. And their eyes actually have no pupils and are pretty like a milky color, which allows them to generally see past the infrared spectrum, which is one of the reasons why crude are just really good hunters. They see everything. Oh, wow, yeah.

Their sensory apparatus gangly on their back is extremely handy. I was going to say having infrared vision is a big plus in combat. Like, that's huge by itself, let alone having little barbs that can do all the extra sensory nonsense. That's, yeah, I could, yep, it's probably really hard to hide from a crout. Now, the crout generally, the thing that you always think, Eat them up, eat them up. Like, when you think of the crutes, you think of the fact that they evolve

by consuming the flesh of other races. The process itself is called shaping, which is, if you actually, funny enough, in the tabletop, a leader of a crew is called the crout shaper, like instead of sergeant, it's shaper, because they are the ones who are really good at knowing what traits are desirable to be consumed for, like, maximum genetic potential.

Oh, that's cool. So they know what to eat. Yes, they know exactly what is good and what's bad. And I believe in the Caiaphas-Cain book, you will remember one of those crew ate a dead human and then spit it out because it was tainted because it was Gene Steeler cult. Yep, they're going to taste a...

And that's how they found out about the cult. Yes, that's how that's, and that's kind of how they figured it all out. And then Yergan took a melt-a-gun. and destroyed the Patriarch. That smelly pile of garbage. What a good man. I love... You're going to such a baller.

But shy posted over there on the right, those are various species of crout that have evolved in certain home worlds by eating the various fauna and flora there. So you have like your kind of more webbed, like sea crout on the top left, spiny dinosaur crout on the bottom left, big buff crout, top right.

flying croutes. There are crude hounds, which are literally crout that look like dogs. Yep. Yep, yep, yep. There is the, I see the picture of them. Yep. There is the croutox, which is the big one right there. Looks like an Elkhore.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Which obviously evolved from bigger animals, but they're a little bit dumber. So, you know, on one side, big muscle, on the other side, you know, like, you got to pick. You got to pick what you want to eat. Yep. And so they become the mounts, I assume, because as they eat the bigger sort of dumb animals, their brain shrinks and they become so animalistic, you kind of have to tame them. And you might as well just use them as like a mount or like a battle steed. I mean, they had a reasoning for why Crute get what they get. But it's one of those classic like games workshop. They affect their DNA helixes in this way. And, and. And I'm like, okay, some pseudoscience alien crap, whatever.

It changes their body and changes their minds what they eat. Good enough for me. Good enough. Yeah, okay. Sometimes crude have been seen to have consumed dead dark Eldar and have become particularly malicious and awful to be around afterwards. Not surprising. If you inherit the traits of what you eat and you eat a Dracari, yeah, you. you know, I kind of imagine you would be coming

an insufferable piece. So, yeah, you know, that tracks. Mm-hmm. For the most part, they, you know, like, they start to revel their kills a lot more. Yeah. I'm sure. Which is very bizarre. Shai makes

a good point here. Yeah, they can't really eat necrons because it will develop little tiny scarabs in them and they will die. They can't eat nids because the genetic makeup is just too random because it's built from the biomass of anything and everything. Right.

Chaos is poisonous because, oh God. Spit it out. Yep, spit it out immediately. Yep. And interestingly enough, I'll leave the last part alone for a sec because, well, just because the, I want to, the crew joined the Tao Commonwealth way back when because their plants were under siege by a massive volume of orcs and the Tao assisted them. So often the crout offered their services, one as thanks to the Tao, but also generally it's just mercenary services. Their clans are very tribal and mostly offered their skills as hunters as mercenaries to kind of everyone. There's that one in the Blackstone Fortress guy.

The Voton will hire them sometimes for tracking. So long as they're being decently compensated financially, they'll kind of go with whoever they want so long as you do not eat the tau because the tau don't like that very much. They get pretty pissed. Have, are there examples of the crout eating the tau? And like, I mean, what sort of like genetic traits would they inherit from the tau? Would they just turn a little more blue? Uh, get the hooves.

Uh, would their eyesight get worse? Like, I mean, it might. They're also, I mean, you know, their brains might get a little bit more. developed depending on what cast of a Tao they eat. Also, you know, the Tao like it when they have normal, normal, what is the word, burials for their friends that die and don't have their comrade eat them. Yeah.

For the most part, yeah, the Croutes are at this point still part of the Tao Empire, and they have the most representation, on the tabletop, crout hounds, croutxes, they're all things you can run. Their models are old. However,

they did just remake a kill team squad of of crout for a kill team box. And they look great. Okay, okay. I don't know if Shai can post the old and the new, but they look pretty cool. On the tabletop, if you're like a tau and you're running crude and you say kill a space marine, can you choose to eat its corpse and get bonuses?

So if I'm, you know what? That's a great question. My mind says no, but I know that they probably, because it's a little bit too specific. I am positive that there is, I'm pulling up the app right now. There is like a, if you kill something in melee, you gain this for the rest of the game. Yeah, because I mean, that's such a big part of them that there's, you know, there'd be something about that, right? Oh, yeah, there's the new minis. Ooh, new minis do look good.

I mean, to be fair, the old ones looked fine. Like, they're old, the old ones are, is that the old ones? Yeah, they were fine. There's no wrong with the old ones. But the new ones still look great, yeah. So, Crute Farstalkers have a different rule. Their rule is, oh, my God, those dogs. Okay.

Yeah, those are. two pictures of the new ones. I thought one was the old one. Yeah, that old one is out. Ah, so here we go. So, yeah, the forest stalkers are like bounty hunters, the new ones. The old ones do have a rule that says grizzly feast. If this unit destroys an enemy unit in the fight phase until the end of the battle,

they have the five upfield, no pain ability. So, you know, like, it's just a classic, like, kill somebody, the fight phase, eat something, get tankier. You know, streamlined for the game. version. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's not like you're going to be like, oh, choose a, if you eat a space brain, evolve into a human with big muscles and completely, it's, it's just a, you get tankier, which is probably the best way to do it. And, like, you can actually take a crout shaper, as I mentioned, and put it in a group of carnivores.

So they start with a six up field no pain. And if you eat something, it goes to a four up instead of a five up, which is better because it knows what to eat. You know, classic, classic stuff. that. Yeah. Old crew, yeah, don't look great.

They look like angry bird people and kind of funny. Yeah, they, they look creepy actually. They look like

something out of a horror movie. And the new ones just kind of look like, the new ones just look good. They look more

streamlined, more sleek, just, yeah, just better overall, yeah. Shai, can you post the crew

talks, the crew talks writer? I just, I think it's so funny. It's such a hilarious, hilarious, uh,

model. Yeah, shy post. it. Shad post it. Oh, that is, that is actually pretty good. It's pretty, it's pretty funny. It has the stand just taped on his back.

It's good. It's great stuff. Nice. That is pretty good, yeah. He ride the monkey. Anyway, so yeah, that's generally the crout. You know, they have, I'm glad they got that new model of bounty hunters and stuff. They look really cool.

And they're pretty fun. You know, we read that story in the Blackstone Fortress about that one crout that got drunk and started making horrible sound effects. And then the rogue trader was like, oh, he's trying to sing. Is that what that is? So it's pretty fun. Yeah. Anyway, next up we have is the only other one that has a model on the tabletop.

And everything else doesn't have a model. These are the Vespids. Vespids. If you can guess, what? Bees? Maybe like insects? Close. Yes, insect-like. Very good. Let's go. You want to know how I got that? It's a really stupid reason.

Why? Because there's a Pokemon called Vespa Queen and it's a big B. And I figured it had to be something like that. Isn't like a Vespid or like that abbreviation for something? Probably. But yeah, Vespa Queen. That's how I got it. Anyway, yeah, bees, or not really bees, but like bugs. They are a bipedal insect-like race.

They have some chitinous. Is it chitin or chitin? It's chitin, right? I don't know. I thought it was chittinus. I thought so too, but people, eh, whatever. Vespa is literally a wasp in Italian. Isn't there a car called a Vespa?

So it's like a really Oh, it's a scooter. Oh, like a scooter. Hey, so it's called a woss. Yeah. Okay. Sounds like a was. Anyway, I'm going to call it Kighton.

Kighten is high and pretty strong like a biological exo armor. Their wings produced this really interesting ultrasonic tone that helps them control their technology and, you know, fly as well. Sure, sure. They are actually very good when it comes to sightseeing. They have three pairs of eyes on their face. One sees in the visual spectrum. One sees in the infrared spectrum.

And one sees in the ultraviolet spectrum. Wow. They have creepy faces with those three sets of eyes, which is, that's, man, how come the crew haven't eaten one of these things to get extra super ultra eyesight and wings? Maybe because they would develop some of the other unfavorable traits. I don't know, but I know they also have their weird mandibles in their mouths with those sharp teeth. I mean, that's cool. You can eat better with that.

Why wouldn't the crew want that? So, well, because you don't, don't, you also obtain all the other traits. Yeah. And also, don't eat your friends. Oh, that's right. This is all still in the, oh, that's true. You wouldn't want to eat your allies. That's okay.

That one makes... All right, you should have started with that one. I assumed it was clear that you don't cannibalize your friends. You're looking awful tasty today, Bricky. With some barbecue sauce? I have been working out. Oh, that's right. There's not even any fat on you.

You'd be like eating buffalo, just planned and tasteless. That is not true. There is plenty of fat on me. I'm trying to get rid of it. Anyway, there's their minis. Oh, I've seen these before. They are really cool Oh

Wait, cool You know who I've seen these before? Where? You remember the game show that we did with The Kyrioth where I picked out minis That I thought looked cool That's right This is one of the ones

You like these pieces of shit What? They look fine I think they look cool What's what what do you not like about them? The way they look They look great I think they look really cool.

I love the yellow armor that they got from, I'm assuming the tau, and the wings, they look cool. I like them. I like that. All right. I think they look awful. Regardless, this is one of those weird. I know. Well, I know that.

I will say that it is a common theme here where the Vespids were perceived as never. really joining the greater good because their society was wildly different than the Tows and I think far more violent. Makes sense. And then eventually the Atherials created

this very fancy communication headset that helped translate their weird alien language. And ever since they gave them that headset, they were very keen on joining the greater good. Huh, really?

Just because they got a headset that makes it easier to translate their gibberish? No. I don't think the headset only did that. Oh, gotcha. So the headset is their way of brainwashing the Vespids, the way they brainwash the rest of the Tao Empire?

Well, let's, we don't use harsh language in the Tao Commonwealth, like brainwash. Sorry. We prefer subtle communication. Subtle suggestivity. Yeah, it's subtle suggestions. It's all Imperium Lies. We don't... No, it was a willing, conscious choice by our popular.

They gave them a communication headset, and suddenly they were super down for joining the Tao. You can figure that one out how you'd like. Yeah, interpretations are open. But they are very much used in scouting roles. The one with the helmet on there is the only one that has that communication headset, the sergeant. They are called

the Vespid Stingwing. Okay. To be fair, that helmet does look dumb, I guess. Like, the ones without the helmet, I really like the helmet kind of looks like he's just wearing a B-Hive on his head. Sorry, I got that wrong. It's the Vespid Strain. The Vespid Strain is the... They're all called Sting Wings. The Strain is the sergeant.

The helmet is kind of goofy, but it is the only one that can translate their state. to the tau. And a lot of their guns... Stingwing? That's cool. Come on. Vespin sting wings.

Yeah, they are kind of fun. Sting wing. Yeah. Their guns are actually really cool, and I feel like they could do a lot more with this. It's all based on technology from their home world. It's exotic crystals that frequency is adjusted and changed due to the ultrasonic tone on their wings. So...

Oh. combine that with Tao technology that they've upgraded with. And next thing you know, you've got some actually pretty damn strong guns. Yeah. So if I also imagine that's great because like if you don't have their wings, you kind of sort of can't use their guns. So like if you kill ones like, ah, I've got their gun. I'm going to shoot you.

It's like, well, you can't because you don't have the wings to hit the crystal with the frequency, right? So something kind of like that. Um, the, the guns are like, basically, like, slightly less powerful, like, plasma guns. So, you know, they kind of hit. Yeah. Yeah, they're strong and they're kind of, they're the only ones that can use them. That's dope.

I like that. I like that a lot. Yeah. Yeah, because the, the Vespids are the only ones that can manipulate the crystal. No one else can shoot them. Yeah. So it's, it's pretty handy. They're, they're fun.

And that is the only model they have in the tabletop. You can only run Vespid sting wings, and that is it. Oh, well, that's unfortunate. shouldn't. Now, let's talk about all the other ones, the ones that you have no idea about because there are no models. Oh, that's a shame. You think they're ever going to make them? You think they're ever going to expand the Tao Empire to have more of these races that don't have minis?

Well, there is a list of the assimilated races in the Tao Empire. Almost all of these have literally a sentence. What? Really? I mean, I was going to say why bother pretending like they exist, but it's like, well, you got to make the Tao Empire seem like it's a much more widespread empire than just, you know, oh, we only have the crude and the Vespid that are recognized. It's like, well, they've got all these other things too, and you've got to make them look a little more impressive, right?

That and also you think of it more like, oh, how would you say it? kind of like these are ways to make the Tao look more interesting in a lore perspective you know you have a Shadow Sun book and they talk about how we are fighting along five sides

of Tao, three squads of Gallag and then two greet and it's like world building you know? Yeah yeah yeah we'll start with the easiest one the Guevessa or the Guevessa auxiliaries they're just humans

We've talked about them before, haven't we? Yep. I feel like they got brought up in a book or something. There are some humans that have been liberated. Well, I think also the Caiaphas-Cain book. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But there are some humans just liberated by the Tao, and the Tao, and they get reabsorbed outside the Imperium,

and then they help serve the Tao. And they probably live a lot better of a life than they do in the Imperium. not, I mean, probably still not a great life, but a hell of a lot better than the Imperium gives them. I mean, to be fair, being like, oh, yes, the human lives a better life than they would in the Imperium is not a super high bar. So I imagine it is quite a bit better. But yeah. Yeah, there are no minis. There are no minis for them.

That's a custom fan-made one. But it looks good, you know? Yeah, it does. Sure. There was an old faction known as the demigurg or demigur, demigurge, I don't know. Oh, yeah, that's the old squats before they got abolished and turned into the votan. Not abolished, but before they got squatted. They are now demiurg.

Oh, did I add a G to that? Yeah, probably, but who cares? Oh, I did add a G. Crap. Demerg. So, yeah, I mean, they were the, you're a G to that. correct. They were the old squads. They were, have been misclassified and since retconned into the leagues of Voton. Some apparently joined the Tao Commonwealth and the Tao Empire just because,

you know, they either, oh, the Medet or something happens, often they're just mercenaries. But I only remember this from like the squat episode that I did because some of it still floating around in there. They were in a, they were allied with the Tao and of the Battlefleet Gothic games, I think? You actually see them flying around with like the Tao or something? Probably not like that.

They also did trade a lot with the Tao. I think they helped give them their ion technology or at least helped assist them with giving them that stuff. You'll find that a lot of the Tao's fancy-pancy gear is normally assimilated from another culture.

Like I think their ion weapons or like their rail gun or something like that was originally the Votons and from trade. Okay. Nothing wrong with that? You know. But anyway, those are the other ones. Now for the giant list of other ones

that don't have much. There is one called the Nicasar or Nikasar. These are actually a little prevalent in the Shadow Sun book. They are a large bear slash

bird mixture. It looks like a big bear but with a bird like face and attributes. Oh, are we talking like owl bear? Like, you know what? Yeah, probably like owl bear. No wings though. Oh man. GW, you have a chance to make an owl bear mini and you're not taking it.

What's going on? Like that's, just print the money. Like everybody's going to buy an owl bear. Oh, and it gets even more interesting than that. They are a heavily psychic race. Oh, they're psychic owl bears? They're psychic owl bears with a massive appetite to explore the galaxy. They are kind of like the quarians.

They're semi-nomadic with a massive wanted, well, the quarians got that way because they screwed up. But they did this way because they want to with this wanton curiosity to explore the galaxy. And they were the first race to join the Tao Commonwealth and have since, assisted the Tao greatly in their faster than light travel. And they can also move a lot quicker than the Tao because of their psychic power. So they're very often

scouting missions and scouting fleets. I am so disappointed in UGW. Psychic nomad owl bears and they're just like, nah. We'll make one Vespid mini and call it a day

and not touch the psychic owl bear. There was a story in the Shadow Sun book where the Nikasar beat the shit well, with help. With help beat the shit out of a

plague marine because they have quote, power claw sized talons on their hands. And I think one of their friends got like murdered horribly by the plague marines because it's the plague marines and

went on a berserk rage and started fighting them. It was pretty cool. I'm also so disappointed because in Baldur's Gate 3 I played a druid. As soon as I got Owl Bear Wild Shaped, that's all I ever turned into all the time.

And, come on, man. Make the mini. Make the mini. Make the mini. There is another race known as the Galg G-L-G-S. The gal-g.

Lunch not sitting quite well? It sounds like something back up there, pal. The gau-g, you actually remember the gau. Well, actually, do you remember the gauk? It sounds familiar, and I've seen that picture before, but smooth brain doesn't remember anything about them. So this was actually, the gaug are kind of funny. They are a giant worm-like species with no eyes and none of that stuff.

They are incorporated into the Tao Empire and are not particularly warlike, and neither that advanced. They created a massive paradise on their world. No suffering, no anything. Thousands of years in an amazing, beautiful world were eventually, when the Tao arrived, they were like super happy to give up their lives of pleasure to seek actual purpose. purpose within the greater good. Some gals say, no way, ma'am, we were conquered and coerced by the Tao in order to join the greater good. We were not at all given a choice in this matter.

This is a bunch of BS. Others are like, no, we finally have like good stuff. Oh, this is interesting. You want to read this, DK? Sure. The Tao arrive at your world with a fleet, tanks, attack craft, fire warriors, and battle suits, and they ask if you want to join in their quest to achieve the greater good. Well, that's the way I think it happened with the Galgs.

The Galgs were clever enough to say yes, but there were some records that show what happens to those worlds who say no. Sooner or later, they either say yes, with their cities burning and their shoulders rotting in their open graves, or they are in no position to say anything at all. Their shoulders, huh? Yeesh. Soldiers. Did I say shoulders? You did.

It was very funny. Oh, well, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, I don't, I don't know. It's fine. But no, it makes a good point. It's like, that's how, you know, if I, if I arrive, if I arrive to your doorstep with, with a gun, and I'm like, D.K., buy me a, a con. coffee. And later on I say, yeah, D.K. was really nice. He just bought me a coffee. It's like, well, he had a rifle pointed at my head. Of course, I'm going to buy him a coffee. So the, the question is a little different. However, regardless of the current state of the

GALG, it's, it's kind of funny. They are also mercenaries. Some freedom fighters joined the the Alpha Legion in a campaign to kill the ultramarines. Oh, let's go. Let's go. Well done, Gallag. Let's go. Sorry. Some fought along the Sleith, Sleith, the snake people, Eldar outcasts.

Some, they don't much like humans either, because they think they're also awful tyrannical people, because they see. They are? Oh, well, yeah. I mean. often when the humans see them, they just burn their planets to dust. So they have a pretty huge hatred of humanity. And so for some, Tao is the lesser of two evils. Okay.

What exactly do the gal do, per se? Because, like, you said they're, like, kind of brainless, boneless things that live in parent. Like, what exactly do they do? Like, how do they fight? Like, what's their thing aside from? having a paradise world that the tower just like join us or die they have a bunch of limbs that they can crush you and kill you with oh okay they're just really big he's really big technical monsters um i believe if i'm not mistaken there was the blackstone fortress excerpt we talked about

where there were a couple gals drinking at a bar and then either either the rogue traitor or the crout i don't remember i think it was the crout they were talking about like like on the black stone fortress. How do you know our language? Oh yeah, right. They know it's language because the crew ate their like captain or something on the ship. Yeah, and the rogue trainer's like,

wow, why they suddenly get so mad? I told them how I learned their language. Yeah, and then I think the gallag like tried to choke the rogue trader to death. And he was like, oh my God. Okay.

Now I remember. Yeah, that's right. I kind of was forgetting it too, but you help me remember. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So that's the GALG.

They're chilling, I guess. Outside of them, they're, oh, goodness gracious. Okay, so we also, I mean, there's a couple other ones. There's like the V-R-G. What a funny name, the V-O-R-G. The V-O-R-G-H.

They have, again, one line of text. They are a massive xenospecies that are the size of like an imperial knight. Whoa. And they are... Like each one is the size of a knight? Yep. Wow.

That's a big boy. And they just, they're apparently totally super duper, um, super duper kind and nice and passive and fine with everything until you make them angry and then they're, then they're a giant knight basically. Sheesh, you think if you were the Tao, you would want to get as many vorg as you can and just cattle prod them and point them in the direction of your enemies. Cattle prod them?

I mean, it's a bit harsh, but it's the grim darkness of the 40th millennium. Who cares? What does an imperial night-sized cattle prod look like? Do you just like stick them with a railgun-sized zappy thing? Yeah, basically. It looks like a... a drill and it's like, is that a drill? It's like, no, no, it's a cattle pride. And they just got them equipped on the, on the Vorg's shoulders. And it's like, you know, they just like pile bunker them into their shoulders, you know?

Unfortunately, at this point, we get into the world where there is just not much left. They're like to have any genuine lore. There is one that's kind of fun called the Terrellian, T-A-R-E-L-L-I-A-M. They are known as the Terrellian dog soldiers and are, kind of like a humanoid reptile mixture that look they have like the face of dogs all right okay um they are like basically their language is a bunch of snarling growling and barking snapping their jaws and showing their teeth their dogs classic um they are very honor obsessed long rituals of oath and respect um and if the ceremonies are interrupted they will become quite pissed

But according to legend, the Imperium virus bombed a lot of their worlds during the Great Crusade. As they do, as they do. So they have a seething deep hatred of humanity at all times. As many non-human species do have a loathing of the Imperium. That's fair. So now they're Tao's best friend. Well, yes, their Tao's best friend, one, because they're a, species for hire. A lot of them are mercenaries.

And also because, you know, they are fine with embracing the greater good and furthering its cause because of either one, being part of the greater good is good or two, subtle... Brainwashing. Right, right. Subtle suggestivity. We just suggest that maybe you want to be part of the greater good. We don't do anything past that. Brainwashing. There is a hilarious...

a hilarious segment that says, a group of Terrellians attempted to join the Red Corsairs and were in the middle of pledging their odes to Huron Blackheart when the Chaos Lord had more pressing matters. After telling them to stop the time-consuming ritual, the Terrellians became enraged and attacked the Chaos Space Marines and were then promptly slaughtered by the Chaos Space Marines. Yeah, I get it.

You don't like your rituals being interrupted, but my, my God, those are chaos space marines, and you are dog people. You pick your battles. You really need to, yeah, you really need to. Being right does not mean you're going to be alive. Yeah, pick your battles, friend, pick your battles. Shai also always has the best meme, which is, of course I'm xenophobic. Look at all, like, have you seen these aliens?

My brother in the Imperium, you killed all the non-scary ones. You killed all the peaceful ones because they're not human. There is also another interesting one called the Morellian. The Morellian are a, also known as the Morellian Death Sworn, which is the coolest name ever. Ooh, hell yeah. That is what their soldiers are called and have been known to fight for the Tao for the most part, along with their reserves, like with crutes and vespids and the rest. but they also have fought as part of that same Alpha Legion group to kill the Ultramarines. Well done. Boy, they're really trying to get me on the Zenos appreciation side.

I will say there's nothing really about them and their fighting style. However, there is a nice little thing right here that says physiology. Morellian younglings have soft flesh that. the dark Eldar are known to use, taking the flesh from several younglings to make dark, supple robes. Oh, no. They make robes out of... Oh, geez.

Look, I get it. You're dark Eldar. You're Drukari. You like your skin coats, but come on, man. Oh. Everything past this, we don't got much. There's a ton of other names. is the Thraxians, the Geatrix, the Heranian, the Domati, the Rangon, the Ostens Council, so on and so forth.

It sounds like it should be so important. It's literally, council is in the name. That sounds like it should be important. It is an alien group that have acted as mercenaries. Whip-D-D-Doo. Oh, wow, yeah, hooray. Wonderful. The thing is that so much of this is interesting and pivotal to the Tao's current technological prowess. You know, the Nikasar owl bears helped them get better void-faring capabilities. The photon assists them with ion technology. The Vespids crystals, I think, helped them with like augury sensor arrays. Or one of them gave them like scanning suites.

Like all of the really fancy-pancy stuff you can take. in the tau are often done from some kind of other Xenos race. Yeah. If this episode has taught me nothing else, uh, wait, what did I say? The Brachyera are a tiny dexterous limbed crustacean race. They are unmatched in the delicate assembly of small plasma generators needed to fuel Tao Earth Castle inventions. Wow.

It's time for crab. Yeah. Tiny little crab builders that make their Tao Earthcast inventions. But like... That sounds important. Like, why isn't there more on them? Like, you know, a crisis battle suit, for example, that we've seen earlier, they always have all these kinds of support systems.

Tao have known for their support systems. So they have like shield drones, marker drones, sheet. Generators, weapons support systems, Battlesuit support systems. You know, if you pull out like the riptide battle suit, if you look at the war gear, it has things like,

I don't know, the Nova Charge system and all these kinds of things like that. And it's all from, often from another fancy race where you get about a single sentence of lore. And it's so disappointing. Yeah. Man,

And like, what I have learned more than anything from this episode is there are so many cool Xenos factions that deserve a mini, man. But then at the same time, I'm like, well, if you make all these minis, they're going to start overshadowing the tau. And that's kind of the whole point of the Tao is to be the, you know, the main blue people and the crisis suits and the robots. And if you start expanding too far out, it's like, oh, I don't want a crisis suit. I want a big owl bear.

Or I want a big vore. or something like that. So I guess, you know, you can still make more lore about it. I mean, you can still make art for them, G-dub. Sheesh. Yeah, I mean, that's almost worse, is that there's no art for any of them.

Yeah, at least a little bit. At least a little bit more. And, yeah, that's one of the most annoying parts is that, you know, people who like Tau, like them for a lot of reasons. Some of them like them because they are, you know, Gundam aesthetic. Some of them like them because they enjoy the

collaboration of races completely different than every other faction in the game for the most parts. Some people like them because they like the higher like Pew Pew Sci-Fi instead of the I'm ramming you with a church.

And I know some people I've heard interestingly like the Tao because they like them as the naive upstarts where it's like, no, it's good that the Tao are the good guys because it shows that even being the good guys gets you stomped in the absolute dirt in the world of 40K. Oh, yeah, absolutely.

Like, it's so weird to me that people didn't like the fact that the Tao were the good guys. It's like, oh, it has to be more grim dark than that. It's like, what could be more grim dark in this setting than being the good guy? Everybody's trying to kill you and you're naively trying to be good and wholesome and always heading in the right direction and always follow the light. oh, be good to every race. And it's like in 40K, in the grim dark, that is the worst position you could be in with all of the different factions that are out there.

That is literally the worst thing that you could be. So, unfortunately, that collective, that, like, that idea of this collection of alien species rising up against the terrors of the galaxy, the tyranids, the orcs, the imperial crusade, they're like, all right, this is for like our future. The small Xenos that were all attempted to be exterminated during the Great Crusade, this is like the time.

And then you get no lore and no pictures. And that's very sad. Yeah, that is very sad. I know that every single faction in 40K is going to get new miniatures when their codex comes out. We've been seeing it with the Necrons lately. We saw it with the funny. spindly admec guy because they're the ones that are coming next. But I'm curious on what the tower going to get, because they might just get another

goofy battle suit and nothing else, and I will be thoroughly sad. It would be really cool if they at least leaned into the fact that they are this sort of collection of this collective of Xenos races that are like, no, we're going to rise up against the awful tyranny of the galaxy. And we at least get some lore and art. of some of these factions. That would be really cool, even though it's obviously going to be focused around the battle suits and the gundams and the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, Tao warriors and stuff. It'd be, it'd be nice. It'd be nice if the others got a little spotlight.

If, if the Tao had more, like, variety in that, I actually might be more keen on playing them, and, like, actually giving them a shot. Um, yeah. But right now, I, I only, like, right now, if I were to build a Tao army, it would be devilfish, triple ghost keels. a riptide and like a storm surge because big mech. Big Mac, yeah. Big Mac and also a lot of the minis, the auxiliary minis I think look like crap. Those new crew look great. Yeah, the new crew do look really good.

Anyway, that's it for me. That's all I got, unfortunately, and that's all GW has to. Oh, GW fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it. one day if the new Tau Codex comes out with any extra lore, which I don't think it will. But if it does, we will have an additional episode and I will talk about it. Until then, everyone check out Unidentified Signal, the brand new awesome podcast. Going to be some good stuff there. The link will obviously be in the description.

Check them out. Go give D.K. Shine Slap some love for their brand new excursion. It's always nervous, and it's nice to see such a great setup for a new channel when most YouTubers just kind of make a new channel. Yeah, been there, done that. Yes, sir. So great stuff to see. Congratulations, you two. And we'll see you all next week.

Don't know. It's too wholesome. Shut up. That's too wholesome a way to end. Okay, fine. Let's do the, uh-ah again. O-A!