Adeptus Ridiculous - SCHOLA PROGENIUM -THIS IS HOW LEGENDS ARE MADE | Warhammer 40k lore

Episode Date: June 9, 2021

https://www.patreon.com/AdeptusRidiculoushttps://www.adeptusridiculous.com/https://twitter.com/AdRidiculoushttps://orchideight.com/collections/adeptus-ridiculousSupport the show

Welcome everyone to another episode of the Adeptus Ridiculous. My name is D.K. And I feel like over the past five months, I think it's been five months, of doing the Adeptus Ridiculous podcast, I've learned a thing or two, about a thing or two, with Warhammer 40K from our resident expert Bricky. But before today's podcast gets going, if you enjoy the podcast, head on over to patreon.com slash Adeptus Ridiculous, where you can get a ton of extra benefits, access to our Discord,

bloopers, if there are any. If you join the $15 tier, you get access to all of our digital HD posters so you can have your big-boobed goth wifu, or you can have your big blue weeb wifu who wants to step on

you for the greater good. Anyway, if you enjoy the podcast, patreon.com slash Adeptus Ridiculous. Burki, do you want to tell the people about the book club and the merch? That's the worst fucking intro I've ever heard.

Whoa, what? I'd stop it with the goddamn blue wifu, dark Eldar wifu bullshit. I will not. I'm not about this. Yes, you, you started this. Started once. You started this. What's this?

You told me, show the posters. Tell the people about the, about the, about the, about the, about the Ldar and the Tao. Sell the posters, he says to me. There's a thing called subtlety. Where to go? Do you know who you're talking to? Subtility? Oh my God.

Comments. Tell him how subtle I am. No, don't you understand in the Warhammer 40K universe you need to be subtle. Oh. What the hell am I shill? What the hell am I shilling? Get merchandise.

The merch and the book. Check out merchandise at Orkidate.com or check it on the description in the content creator section. Got cool stuff. shirts, hoodies, Doge Van Dyer, stickers, let's go, it's great. And also, people have been asking which, I said that we're doing Gantz Ghosts for the book club. People have been asking which, like, Gantz ghosts or how many of them, I hate you

all. I mean, we'll, I'm not going to have a month to do it. We're not going to do 45 books. I'm not going to make you read 40 books, just the first one. Gantz goes first and only. Just the first one, goddammit. I don't know why I have to explain this. Yeah, I mean, we only have a month until the next book club. How are we going to get 45 of them? Like, there's no time. Actually, you know what? I think we are grossly underestimating 40K

players free time. Oh, really? You think they could get 45 done in a month? It's not actually 45, but like, I was being hyperbolic. Oh, my bad. There are a lot, but no, not that many. And yes, I do think they could.

Shit. Okay. Anyway, on that whole thing over, because we did the Infinite Divine, Gaunt's ghost, first and only, first one is the only one we're covering. D.K., you don't know what, you don't know what we're talking about. You never know what we're talking about. I have no idea what today's episode is about, and I kind of love it. Like, I've been trying to guess in my head. Like, a part of me was like, oh, I bet, like, we've been talking,

like the Emperor's children have been coming up a lot. That'd be super cool to do. I could see that happening. And I've been trying to roll around in my head what it's going to be. Well, I'm so excited to crush your dreams because that's not what we're doing today. Nice. Instead, we're doing on a topic that I've actually wanted to cover for quite a bit. We're doing the Scola progenium.

Oh, what the fuck is that? That's the response I was hoping for. I don't even know, like, is that a specific faction? Is that a device? Nope. What the fuck is that a person? Nope. What the fuck is a Scola progenium?

Is it a projector? It's a school Oh Today, DK Today, DK, you're getting your high school anime episode If you wanted your high school anime This is the one We get slice of life Warhammer 40K today

We're getting a little slice of life Warhammer If you want a little bit about a people in a school You know, being taught things You want a little bit of gender rules And a little bit of tension between men and women You want a little bit of like an evil drill instructor. We got it. This is your anime episode, DK.

You've finally done it. You've corrupted us. It's here. Nice. I've done it. You're the anime now. You're the anime now. Now you're the anime.

Wow, Horace Lupacall. You finally defeated me. You truly are the anime now. It's my favorite line in the Horace heresy. I'm so glad you brought that. A favorite line. You didn't say that. Yeah, he did.

So, should I put it on the, on the screen, the quote? Is this there? Don't worry. So the Skola Progenium. This is going to be a shorter episode, but it's a fun topic. So this is a school. Legitimately, I'm not joking, this is a school. Okay. And the Scholar progenium is a division of the Adeptus Minustorum.

Do you remember what the minustorum is? Um, refresh. The Ecclesiarchy, the church. Yeah. There's so many like Adeptus, a starty names that like it gets It all gets jumbled up

Like I get very confused over what like All of the names are So thank you for the the refresher about it Being like the ecclesiarchy, the church got it Yeah you know you know the all of our good Dojvand dire times So the Scola progenium is a special school And now normally in the Imperium you have things called the Scolas And the scholars are like

I can't remember the librarian in Infinite and Divine, he was like, my kids going to the Scola, a good Schola. It's like, oh, he's kids going to college or going to a good school, you know? Oh, right, right, right. The School of Progenium is a fancy, fancy one.

It is entirely responsible for the upbringing and education of orphans. So, predominantly those of nobles or officers in the Imperium that have died in service. Okay. So like Imperial Navy or the Imperial Guard. So let's say you're a Kim and your dad and mom went to go fight in the guard. And they both got devoured by a tyrannid.

Now you're orphaned and you go to the Scola progenium. You're picked up and you're sent. Oh, okay. So your parents did the noble sacrifice for the Imperium and now the Imperium is going to take care of you by putting you in this super prestigious school and training you. and turning you into another peon for the Imperium. Take care of you, huh? Air quotes, take care.

Oh, they'll take care of you all right. Don't you worry. They've got your back in more ways than one. This is the Imperium, isn't it? It is. So the children who come in there are known as the progena. You know, it's called the progena, whatever. The progeny, yeah.

This generally goes like ages, from four to 10 to 12 is the general recruitment range. Now, here's a, got to have a quote. Gotta have a bricky quote. Start off, right? Death is not failure. For even death can bring glory. Fear is not failure.

For fear can be conquered. The only known failure is to ignore orders. For even a slight hesitation in following them brings an ignoble end. The Liberia progenium, Volume 1. So that seems like an Imperium guideline It's fine if you die It's fine if you're a little scared But god damn it you'll follow my orders

That's Basically you follow my orders regardless Yep So the sons and daughters of like dead imperial officers Or like an administrator That was lost in the warp Never to come back Then they were all taken these orphans

And trained to become like The backbone of imperial society and of adeptus terra. Just Terra is just like lots of stuff. It's like ministorum people. It's mainly like just the way like scribes maybe,

like lots of different kinds of stuff. Anyway, that whole thing, it's like the administratum is a good way to put it. The education they receive is like unparalleled compared to all other

Scolas in the Imperium. However, the cornerstone of this school is iron discipline. Oh. This sounds bad. I don't like where this is going. This is basically a labor camp

combined with religious school. So when they first arrived, they get a great thing a garb and are taught that the god emperor has no use for lack of purpose or weakness. And pain is the illusion of an untrained mind.

You're dead. Day to day involves correction, prayer, fasting, contemplation, and meditation. Those are the cornerstones of teaching. It starts off with like basic literacy and theology of the Imperial Creed. Now, if you remember the Imperial Creed, that is the belief that the Emperor is a God. Whereas the Imperial Truth is the one the emperor did where he's like, mankind is destined to rule the stars. The Creed is the one that the guardsmen.

and the sisters tend to follow. So after you learn about the cream, you go through history and politics, then you get taught leadership skills, and their top of these guys known as drill abbots. Drill abbots are hardened military veterans that have spent half their life in military service,

and then are, after time, are then ordained as priests. These are church-based imperial drill-sars. sergeants. Yeah, and I would imagine these are hard motherfuckers. Like, if they've spent half their life in the military and they are still kicking, I would imagine they are not the most friendly people. I mean, imagine a drill sergeant, like from the military in real life,

but instead throw it with the fact that they probably were like a guardsman or something and they survived. and also they have a religious underfounding, like underbelly. Oh man, that sounds like literally the worst. It's not good. I don't want to be friends with that guy. He's don't worry, he won't be your friend. It's true. It's fucking true.

It's really, it's really rough. So during the age, now during the age of apostasy, remember those good times? Remember our lad, our boy. our goodest of boys who peed on the couch and by peeing on it was like I'm so angry I'm going to commit extermininautists Yep Our boy

Our good doge boy Our good doge boy The school of progenium during his reign Was corrupted and rife with slavery The orphans were often used as slave labor And factories and mines for the ecclesiarchy And promising individuals promising ones were sold as slaves and servants for commanders

with the most attractive ones becoming concubines for nobles. Oh, I hate all of it. This is going horribly. Oh, geez. We have to remind ourselves that our goat, you know, Mr. Van Dyer Man was really bad person. Yeah, the mascot may be a cute, fluffy doge, but what he is based on

was not a good person at all. I really now regret saying that the scola progenium would take care of these people. Now I'm just like, oh boy, you might rather be an orphan on the streets just begging for scraps. Ooh,

Shai has arrived with a drill abbot quote. Quote, no, no, no, by the throne, boy, how many times? Depress the Lord. in cash before removing the drum feed, not while removing the drum feed. You'll jam the weapon. Smack. Oh, stop bawling child. You're 10 years old. You should have learned basic auto gun procedures by now. 50 press-ups and 50 packs imperiums. And certainly there will be no

dinner. Oh boy. What's wrong, D.K.? What? You don't know how to properly reload a rifle in two seconds at 10 years old? What are you a pussy? Certainly there will be no dinner. Yeah, 50 press-ups. What's a Pax Imperiums? Is that like, is that like some kind of pull-up or some kind of like, strenuous drill or something?

I don't know. Maybe it's a burpee or something. Or maybe it's like a prayer. Maybe it's like a lashing. I honestly don't know. Oh, yeah, that would make sense. It was like a prayer or like 50 lashings like while reciting holy scriptures or some shit

or like self-flagellation or whatever. Yeah, self-flagellation. That's the word I was looking for. But in my head I was like, is that the right word or am I going to a different darker place? Anyway, go ahead. Listen, kid. Listen, D.K.

You didn't fucking reload your lasgun in time. Not in 10 seconds. Guess what? You lose all your sororitis feet for the rest of the night. Oh, no. No more sorority feet. Just kill me. Not too bad.

The emperor has more use for you. Damn. Now back into Conrad Kerr is the screaming gallery. Oh, God. We haven't told the people about the screaming gallery. Maybe one day we will, but oh. Oh. That's a

All right, anyway So Continuing Continuing I'm just gonna fucking call him Doge Van Dyer for now I give up The physically strongest

Went to the Fraterus Templars Which was that like militia he used to run Of lots of guys Which eventually was removed From the decree passive To make it only like Can I have men underarms Which is why you know sororitus

Or the other physically stronger ones went to the brides of the emperor, making, you know, Doge Van Dyer's rule really strong because, of course, he's picked the best people. Of course. Now, during the school,

they are actually segregated. The men and the women do not actually mix. They're completely segregated between the male dorms and the female dorms in all those areas, except for very religious ceremonies, because they believe that they need to maintain purity. and if you're a hoarty fucking kid well

yeah you know I was gonna say that makes sense for something that has so many like religious undertones and everything it makes sense that they would separate by gender and it's like male dorm

female dorm no mixing you impure bastards so that that makes sense to me like I said this can be this is your anime high school thing you know anime protagonist just got finished getting whipped 50s

times. He's a little bit of a defensive character, walks past the door, looks at a slat of his doorroom, sees a sororitus trainee right there, heart flutters, then they have to sneak out together to see each other. It's there. It's there. The main villain is the drill abbot, you know, right there. He's like, I see you sneaking out. Um, uh, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, Imperium Kun. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna whip you. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't I don't know how the fuck is. What's the Imperium name? All their names are really weird shit.

They're all like, what's like a religious name? Like Jacob or something. I don't know. Ezekiel Kun, get back in there. Ezekiel Coon. Oh, no, don't do the axe. And Elizabeth Chun. No, no.

You brought this on yourself. She's the virgin. She's the virgin Mary. Her name is Mary. It has to be Mary. Fair, Mary works, Mary works. They came from the same planet that was like butt-fucked by demons. And they both, they both like share bonding trauma because their parents got murdered by like Slaneh.

I mean, sure. I've seen more fucked up things than anime. Sure. That'll work. Yeah. Unfortunately, as I continue talking about this place, this plot won't work. But we'll get there. Oh, no.

So there's a couple of things and areas that people normally. go to in the Scullas. Now, a lot of them go to the administratum of Adeptus Terra. And those are the ones that are like, okay, you're gonna become a scribe or like, maybe like a missionary or, I don't know, something like that where you'll probably go work on logistics and administration, and then you'll die and no one really, really remember you. You know, it's just like a classic like administrative duties, accounting, I don't fucking know. Going there, though, those that are a lot more in their martial leanings, a lot more combat oriented, because you do have a major amount of combat training as well as knowledge.

Like you have your schools, but you were also drilled like a boot camp. Yeah. Now, some of them, mainly the males, are taken over to become tempestus Sions. So if you remember the Ordo Tempestis, those are the fucking badass droptroopers that the guard have with the cool flaming red eyes. Oh, right, right, right. I was going to say, Tempesta Sion sounds super duper familiar,

and I can't remember what they are. But yeah, gotcha. The Sions are grueling. Are completely grueling in their training. They are trained to perfection. The death rate is like 70% for the actual training in its own right for Tempesta Sion.

These guys are like unquestioned. They even have like a strategy I'm in game where it's like unquestionable obedience We're in like an aura around a main character. None of them can run away from morale Because they're just that drilled The tempestus Sions they're actually trained in a matter that is is pretty it's pretty damn intense Obviously, but they're like they have trials of compliance It's generally what they're known what they're known for and this involves This involves live fire exercises in the hallucinarium.

Oh, no. The name speaks for itself, but go on. It's an endless labyrinth where they are constantly exposed to strange visions and false suggestions, yet they are expected to follow the order of their superiors without hesitation or question, no matter how strange the orders might be, and no matter how monstrous the shit they're fighting. And then there are also timed physical tests Like scaling an entire facility

While chanting the skull of progenium's motto And if they if they start to slip or they become out of sync With the the tempo of the servo skull near them The cadet while climbing will have to start dealing with live gunfire Oh cheese So they're like they're like climbing a fucking skyscraper Being like Jesus loves me this I know because the Bible told me so

and then if they start fucking up and they get tired like people start shooting at them oh my God so they don't they don't choose to do this they're like picked to do this right like the best of the best are picked for this it's not like they

fucking volunteer for this shit well don't get me wrong people who are brought an orphan to the scola are not happy about being in the scola yeah but no they're generally picked because they showed the greatest, like, physical aptitude.

That makes it even worse, because they don't even, they probably don't even want this shit. Yeah. Well, so, okay, so I should probably back this up a little bit, because this is a little bit important. Okay. There's this thing that they have

called, I think it's called the Cadet Forge. Well, that's one of the things they have. But there's a thing when they're brought, right? They're brought in these giant like camps of people. Huge, like, because normally they have like, they have thousands of new recruits

every year. There's never a lack of orphans in the goddamn Imperium, right? Right. The thing that goes though is that they arrive with all their ranges of ages, of course. And eventually, it's kind of a little bit weird.

Often like a commissar, right? We'll be walking through a planet that just got fucked up And they'll find like a son or a daughter That's like hiding in the corridor Strewd amongst bodies And they'll take that kid and bring them to the skull And like oh wow this kid survived that's really important Sometimes even Commissars might

Take A prospective recruit They'll go to like some backwater Fucking back alley world And they'll find like They'll find a kid that's really like a really high aptitude and like the sciences or maybe just knowledge and they'll just take the kid away

and sometimes the parents are still there and they might not be okay with that and the commissar might kill them in doing so there's like your kid is better served in the imperial of man here instead of on this this Detroit-looking Cleveland ass planet and they just takes the kids murders the parents this is yoink

then just takes the kid to the school of projection Genium. Yep. Wow, that's fucked up. It's so fucked up. Yeah, I mean, hey man, the comments, they need the, they need the imperial, imperial military to be staffed. You know, you got to have those people. Yeah, you got to have those prospects. God damn. Often they are inducted in these large groups following like a planetary disaster or something. Though occasionally, certain individuals are thrown into larger groups if it's more convenient.

they undergo a series of mental and physical examinations. However, this is only for the facility because it makes it important that depending on how their planet got destroyed, you make sure you weed out the lesser-minded. So they might not, in a confined, isolated complex, go crazy and kill other people. Good call. That's a solid move on their part.

Probably a good idea. Like if they were messed up by demons on their planet and they have signs of corruption, they'll quickly escort them away from the other kids and quickly escort them into a grave. I was going to say, if they think that they've been corrupted by chaos, chances are that person is not living for much longer, let alone being led into the school with the kids. Bring with the kids, you know, he's got a little, you know, a little Jimmy over there's got a slight problem with his head, he's growing fangs, but you know.

That's an anime plot line, as if a corrupted kid got into the Scholar Progenium, and he's like the villain and you know it's like oh he's infested by chaos but he's kind of good horror and then he becomes friends with the main character and they're all best buds that's there's no way they wouldn't find him no way oh yeah in actual 40 no way like he gets found and he gets executed and he gets put in like a mass grave or something it's it would be awful it would be very awful yeah um now one thing though that's interesting is that we're like Imperial Guard soldiers are tend to be made up of very different cultures

like the Acadians and the Catachins and the Vostroians, they're very different. The Progena do not get cultural variety. They come from different worlds but they're quickly recast into the exact same mold. It's a homogenous

group that obliterates whatever culture they came from. They are given the exact same black uniform equipment training gear and they're expected to they abandon their birth names. They're forced to be given new names. Oh.

Generally chosen among a list of heroes from the Imperium to have them like aspire to become who their new identity is. With the exception of a couple, siblings tend to show a very heavy like a very heavy like brotherhood and strong bond together. Right. So they'll often be like allow them to have their original names. Okay. because it's important for them.

Often whatever strengthens like brotherhood, like if they all came from one planet, they'll still have their old minds, their old cultural obliterate, but they might like stay together because the brotherhood between kids is more important in terms of making them stronger. Makes strongly, makes a strong soldier.

They also have things called minescaping. Oh God. Oh no. This doesn't always a thing they do, but they'll often strap them into an iron, chair and then insert needles into the back of their skull and flood their head with a neurochemical fluid that cleanses their

synapses of old memories and paves way for new information allowing them to forget, to literally forget their old life. Oh, Jesus. During this period of time, servo skulls will be spinning around them, screeching, righteous speeches,

war cries, or quotes from ecclesiarchal texts. What? That's That sounds like some clockwork orange shit right there. It's exactly what it is. It is full clockwork orange. It sets wild. Jesus.

So, I mean, if you were a commissar and you ganged a kid and murdered his parents right in front of him, that kid's probably not even going to hold a grudge because he's going to forget about it when you put in the forget-me juice into the back of their skull. The forget-me juice. Juice that hurts your bones. Bone-hurning juice. I got my forget-me-juice Right into the back of the skull

It's 4 p.m. honey It's time for your forget-me-juice Yes, drill abbots By the Emperor's will Instead of the Instead of the 4pm time for you or whatever And then the sad guy It's just like the Chad image

Where it's like, yes, yes emperor Oh, but this place sounds awful Like God It's new brain bleach Kills up to 9 There you go. It's 97.9% of disturbing mental images. That's a great fucking photo, shy.

Because this next part was literally, it doesn't always work. Dreams and visions from previous existences will sometimes haunt the recruits. Like a sion may never, like, fully rid himself of these nightmarish visions of his homeworld or this death of his parents. And so, because of that, their forget-me-juice tends to be unquestioned. Um, oh, oh, oh, you want to hear some shit. Sure. I mean, we're already knee-deep in it. Why not get it up to the waist, right? So sometimes a cadet will show too strong and unwillingness to conform. And often, as a reward for their impotence, they are released into the training grounds to be hunted down by their former comrades.

Oh. This serves both to bond. the other comrades, and punish individuality. So if a, sometimes if a cadet will publicly disobey orders, if a drill abbot says do this and they say, no. Often the drill abbot will take their hammer and immediately slam them directly into the students in front of everyone else. Oh.

And they will shatter whatever remains of their spine and rip their spine out and put it in a glass box mounted on the dormitory to serve as a warning. Holy shit. That was Lil Jimmy. Little Jimmy didn't want to climb the 4,000 foot wall with two broken legs while I was shooting him. And look, little Jimmy is hanging on pretty well now, don't you think?

Staple to my fucking mantle. Oh, my God. I was, oh, she-s. Who would disobey in that situation? though. Like, you have got to know that if you're like, no, I don't want to do it. Regardless of like if your legs are broken,

you're going to get killed anyway. Like, what kind of? Well, normally it's because whatever their prior life was was so much better than the hell they're currently in. Or they have corruption. Or they're so incredibly traumatized that they just, they got to,

I mean, eventually, like people rise up all the time. These are kids. These are nine-year-olds. That's fair. And stuff. And honestly, and sometimes, like, they think I would rather die than living their day in this hellhole. Oh, so they'll do it on purpose because they're like, fuck this, I'm out. Like, just give me the sweet embrace of death.

Pretty much sometimes. That was also not the most extreme punishment. One time, a group, a full year, a whole year rose up against the dictates of their mass. because their mineskeeping chemicals didn't work properly. And the Abbott Prime, which is like the main drill abbot, ordered the officio perfectus, which is the commissars, to crush the rebellion. While the cadets were still alive, they were covered and buried alive with cement mix and mortar.

Oh my God. And they were used to line the walls of the scola with their bones jutting out, grasping for freedom, and they now line like the locker rooms with these like carbon-knit-looking motherfuckers. Oh, my God. As a warning to consequence for insubordination. This is the worst anime high school thing ever.

This is the worst. This is terrible. This is anime high school if it was ran by guts. Oh, it would be worse. If it was guts, it'd be worse. It'd probably be worse. Well, no. Maybe.

Actually, isn't guts okay? Isn't it the other people that? It's probably okay, yeah. Okay. It's the stuff he's fighting that are bad. Okay. He has to get as bad as them. Okay, it's the horse then, whatever that horses.

Yeah. This one, this school is just like, yeah, imagine it's a berserk, but you're Kaska. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. D.K. I liked it better when this was, I liked it better when the kids were in the walls. That's horrible though Like that's and can you imagine going into your locker and being like What's it on the wall?

It's like oh those are the people that tried to rise up That's that's them it's like oh The night lords would really like this place Oh yeah they'd love it they'd send their kids there for a summer retreat absolutely Yeah Summer retreat Like we're going to summer camp kids It's like oh man where we go all the night lords kids from Mastromo

Like what are we going We're going to the Scola Whoa! I can't wait to see the bodies in the locker room, Dan! Let's go! I hope they've dimmed the lights since last time, because it was really bright. It's true, they wouldn't want the lights dim, wouldn't they? So on another continuation, other things that happen in the Scola.

So the officio perfectus is also the commissaratorium. basically commissars are also created in the Scola progenium. Now, you know what a commissar is. It's like one of the most iconic characters in FDK. They're sort of like the leader. I don't want to say leaders, but they're the ones that make sure that everybody's moving forward. If anyone tries to retreat, the commasars,

like, no, you don't. And kind of keeps him in line, unless you're the creed, which the commasar has to make sure they don't all rush off and die too quickly. It's always so funny to me. But so the commissar, here are very specific people. Only the really highly proficient members of the male group, well, some females as well,

but very proficient and like unwavering discipline become commissars. Often in the trials of compliance, commissars will actually have a very interesting test. And without knowing it's a test, a cadet will be commanded to locate one of its closest colleagues, one of its best friends. and they were given a bull pistol and told to shoot them in the head. Oh, of course they are. This execution shows a double purpose. One, it shows that the commissar can follow orders

and have no problem killing a stubborn officer in the heat of battle. But more particularly, it recognizes, it shows the danger of a stubborn commissar. So, naturally, a commissar that refuses will eventually be chosen to be shot for another commissar. Oh, of course. So often, like, it's your best buddy that you've hung out with for like 10 years in the school,

and they give you both pistons and they say, kill them. And the commissars that are like by the emperor's grace, bang, they're the ones like, good job. Good job. Well done. Oh, they're so proud of you for murdering your friend for 10 years. Your best buddy, well done.

The emperor's proud. It's like, oh. And if they, they don't do it, they give it to their best buddy and they're like, kill your friend. What if they both say no? Has that ever happened where like they were like, oh yeah, go kill your... Then another commissar does it. Oh, well, at least that it might not be your best friend. Or they go in the walls.

I don't know, man. Like, something will happen. Throw them in the walls, these disobedient fuckers. They don't want a waste of good talent, though. So they probably won't throw them in the walls immediately, but they'll find something for them. They'll find something horrific for them, sure. Though at the same time, like the whole commissar thing, obviously they're very, very iron-wheeled people with all of this stuff that they do. There's also a couple other things that you can become from the Scolas.

You can become an officer of the Imperial Navy. So often the officers in generals that fly starships, those are the guys that come from there. They're pretty hardcore. There's, like I mentioned, the ministrata people as well. There's a couple ones that are very interesting, though. women normally almost always go into either the administration or the sororitus. Almost all adeptive sororities are from the scola. Oh, okay.

So almost every sorority is originally orphaned, which I think kind of feeds into the whole nun thing a little bit more too. Definitely. Like Celestein was an orphan. She was eventually taken by the scola. She was trained. she was brought to the sororitus. Sykers are often either killed outright

because they're too much of a problem or they're given into the black ships to be sacrificed to the emperor. Oh, right, because he needs like a thousand psychers a day to survive, right? Yep. Or sometimes they disappear. They are either given to the sisters of silence,

the blanks that the custodians work with, or really Oh sorry So let me rephrase that Cycars might be trained well as an acolyte for the inquisition Or sometimes

really proficient people Might be trained For the Inquisition And become inquisitors The Scholar progenium is where inquisitors come from And these are like Cream of the Crop

These are Crem de la Crem These are like The Pue people. The best. It is probably the highest honor is to be inducted as an acolyte for an inquisitor and where you serve under an inquisitor for some time

and then could possibly become one yourself. So that's a big deal. It's a huge deal. To become an inquisitor or potentially become one, that's a lot of power. You have the most power in the entire Imperium besides like the high lords themselves.

Also you said the some of the psycher kids would get sent off to the Sisters of Silence, the Blankers? That was a mistake. That was a mistake. That was me not saying that wrong. Okay. I was going to say, wouldn't that be bad for the kid?

Wouldn't the kid immediately just fucking lose his goddamn mind? I was like, that's such torture. That's so evil. Like, why would you do that? Often the Sisters of Silence are the ones who manned the black ships to take the kids to the emperor to die.

Gotcha. That's what I meant. My bad. Okay, cool, cool. Now, I'm like, man, these blanks are assholes. Like, oh, you can't find something to do the psycher, we'll take them.

And it's like, oh, no. No, why? You're so evil. So, often the, sorry, sometimes blanks will arrive. And those blanks are then given to the Sisters of Silence. Okay, gotcha, gotcha, got you. Sometimes particularly proficient people or kids might just stop showing up. Sometimes these kids will just be going to the lunch room or whatever, and they'll just

not come back anymore. Like, where Johnny go? I'm like, Johnny just, he's gone. I don't know where he went. These kids are taken to the officio assassinorum. Oh. Where they're trained to become assassins.

Okay. Now, that is hellish. They're generally taken on a ship with a bunch of other candidates. And on the journey over there, they tend to do all manner of horrible things to them. They'll increase the

gravity of the room. They'll not give them any food. They, they'll, they literally do a battle royale. Jeez. They're on the ship. They'll turn off life support sometimes. They'll lower the oxygen amount in the air. They'll increase gravity. They'll decrease gravity.

They'll, they'll send, like, other servitors to try to kill them. They'll, they'll be forced to kill their friends. And, like, the 10 remaining most cunning people are the ones that, will be inducted into training into the officio assassinorum. I should make it very clear that the assassins are treated a lot better than the kids in the school. Because these are really high-level people, and finding individuals of this power is rare. And they're a little bit more careful with how quick they'll turn, they'll throw them into

the walls. Well, and like, why not treat them well? I mean, they were already on the Battle Royale ship, and they've already killed and slaughtered and been tortured. It's crazy. This damn school is like, oh, yeah, this kid is showing great aptitude for being an assassin. Let's just yoink them. Throw them in a ship.

Let them kill each other. Everything is just like, yeah, this kid looks like it might be good at doing this. Yoink! Throw them in the new torture. Jesus. I was like, initially, like, just the base, school sounded bad, but God, it just gets so much worse. Everything is just, it just keeps getting worse.

Yeah. Yeah, even school is grim dark in the grim dark world. Yeah, the grim dark school is really grim dark. There's a couple other, this situation. We'll definitely do an episode of the Assassins in their own right one day. But after like a certain period of time, going from each of the different sections of, the you know the scolas eventually you do get

selection day and selection day is like where you get to choose where you're going or not shoes but where you get sent that's like a pretty big deal depending on like who goes with where you know it's like

you are entering the orto tempestis and they're like woohoo I get to be a stormtrooper or you know and you know they're gone he's just disappear where Johnny go I don't know he's either dead or an assassin now I don't fucking care Johnny's gone

Who knows where Johnny went? Johnny, maybe he got Wacked by a drill abbot, who knows? Who knows, whatever? I didn't see any new spines on the Abbott's door, so I don't think it was that, but, you know.

So sometimes they're actually given over to the Adeptus Arbitus as well, which is like the military police. Oh, okay. Which is kind of neat. They're basically a bunch of, they look like, they look like goddamn,

um, 1989, fucking, like, dude with giant maces. Like, hello, I think Alpha Boost.

have made a video or is like Attention citizen You have been filling your Rat Rations with Stodust This is illegal under Temple or fucking Temple Guideline 2, 37 Dash 3

You have lost the right to your legs And he like breaks their legs Oh god Goodbye citizen Sounds about right for this school though That sounds about right Yeah I you know Ha ha funny mean

But it's like yeah that probably actually happened I should mention that the adeptus arbutus are literally judged dread. Ah, okay. They are literally judged dread. Like, they are literally judged dread. Oh, oh God, yeah, they are literally judged dread, aren't they? Yes. That is no joke.

That's one to one. That's Judge Dread, basically. It is, it is full on Judge Dread. Even with the visor and the angry face below. Yeah, that is. Yeah. Yeah. They operate as riot police

Yeah, Robocop too, yeah Sure You know, they also have Cybermastiffs Which I'd actually that new Necromunda Hired Gun game had It's like a robotic mastiff dog And they use them to kill people

Luckily in 40K it actually works Unlike in the game Ooh Shoshoshosh Shade Haven't played it yet Because I kept hearing everyone say it's like busted and broken and crashing all the time So I'm giving it a few patches.

Yeah, a few patches might be a good idea. Cybermastives look cool, though. They are very cool, yep. But yeah, so that's kind of the Scola progenium. I think there's actually like a lot of pretty good lore that could be, like, created of this school. And there's a lot of awesome ideas that I think you could really make an actual decent story about growing up in the Scola. say your drill abbot is a little bit less awful and you know you're all from the same planet

you have that like Brotherhood Bond kind of thing you know if you if you really badly want to do that stupid thing we're like I only get to see my my girlfriend from the planet of religious ceremonies I'm going to sneak out with them you really want to do that bullshit go to town I mean I mean shit in my Night Lord's novels the slaves are even having sex.

So if they can have sex, then by golly, by golly they could do it. By golly they could do it. But you could easily make a scola book. Easily, without question. It's got a lot of untapped potential with what you could do with it. Sure, sure.

Hey, don't we know. Well, I don't know if we know him. But look, I follow Robberath on Twitter. He could easily write a great, Scola book, right? Come on, Robert Rath. Come on, Rob. Turn your, turn your Mimi Necron book into literal concentration camp,

fucking child labor goddamn school. Come on. The tone is the exact same. You should have no issues. No issues whatsoever. Come on. To play devil's advocate for the Scola, though. They don't do this horrible shit to these kids for the memes.

They need genitals of steel and all the survival and weapons training they can possibly get. to survive and not go insane on the battlefields of 40K, which is true. Oh, she's a harsh world out there. Like, you do need the most severe training possible if you are even going to remotely have a chance at surviving, fighting shit like chaos. She is completely correct. That being said, still kind of fucked. Yeah, I was going to say, even still pretty fine. up though. Still not, still, still a rough place. Even the schools in 40k want to kill you. Yep, they sure do. And then just, you know, throw your body on display as a warning because, hey, don't, don't fuck up. Yep. I kill you. Oh, you better, you sit down, you pray your prayers, you reload your last gun on time, you drink your, your, what'd you call it? Forgetty juice. No, forget me juice. You're, you're forget. You're forgetting. You're forgetting. You're forget. You're forgetting. You're forget. You're forget. You're, you're forget. You're forget. You're forget. You're forget. You're. You're. You're forget. You're. You're forget. You're

me juice, drink your juice, you know, drink your juice, do your prayers and don't get put into the wall. And, and hey, I mean, like, Sions are badass. I feel like this could very easily turn into a Hulk Hogan meme where it's like, you know, his whole thing was say your prayers, eat your vitamins and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It could very easily be turned into like a say your prayers, drink your forget me juice, and for the emperor. For the emperor. Hey, brother. Get your forgive me juice. It's good. It gets big bones.

Hell yeah. Brother, each each. 22 inch pythons, brother. I'm giving you a three minutes freak show. Three minutes of playtime. Brother. Bones size ready. That's the macho man.

I'm giving you three minutes to do what I say or you're going in the wall. Brother. Brother. Brother. brother, I'm going to take away your sororitus feet picks. This Sunday at WrestleMania, you're going in the wall if you don't say your prayers, brother. Brother, I'm giving you 10 seconds to drink your forget-me juice, or I'm taking your spine, hanging it above my mantle. This has gone completely off the rails, you're right?

This is turned into a wrestling program. The macho, macho man, commissar. Savage reported for duty. Oh, him for a Wilson, brother. Oh, yeah. I'm going to take your spine out of your neck, and I'm going to

snap it like a slim gym. Oh, little Jimmy, here's a bolt pistol. Shoot your friend in the head. Oh, yeah. You would have become a commissar, don't you? Oh, yeah. You're not cutting this episode. Shad, this is too good. We haven't done an outro yet. You can't cut this gold, brother.

Gold. We don't need gold where we're going because we're going to the Scola. Your parents are dead, kid. Oh my God. D.K. Oh, wait, I need to take us out. Don't tie. You do the answer. Yeah, you take it.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. All right. Thank you, brother, for watching this episode. That's just ridiculous. My name is Bricky.

You can find me at Burkey. D.K., where can they find you? You find me at D.K. D.M.M. He find me at D. Except Instagram because Instagram's chumps brother You can find quite shy quite shallow Also before we leave we gotta shout out a couple patrons

Because they do really cool stuff Ooh yeah, oh yeah before I forget me juice And I forget to do shy post the names Gonna break your back and make you humble Put you in the Kamel clutch That's iron chic I iron chic baby he's the best.

I prefer Iron Zelda. Oh no. Anyway. Anyway. Anyway, we wanted to shout out because we had that one like ridiculously high Patreon tier where you just have like

fat amounts of disposable income. So we felt like we should shout them out because you know the bet we should we should be a little bit nice to people who don't have good financial sense. What supporting Adeptus Ridiculous is the best financial decision?

Patreon.com slash Adeptus Ridiculous. Brother! Listening to Adeptis Ridiculous isn't a good idea, brother. Techno Outlaw, Ender Cobra, and Sweet. Sweet. Too sweet. Sweet. Thanks, guys, really much.

We actually really appreciate it. You are fucking awesome. We couldn't do this without you. Goodbye, brother. Yeah!