Adeptus Ridiculous - TAU VEHICLES: ALL GRACE AND MEASURED FURY | Warhammer 40k Lore feat Kirioth

Episode Date: December 6, 2023

https://www.patreon.com/AdeptusRidiculoushttps://www.adeptusridiculous.com/https://twitter.com/AdRidiculoushttps://orchideight.com/collections/adeptus-ridiculousfeaturing  Kirioth  The T'au (or Tau) are a young race of technologically-oriented beings from the Eastern Fringe and the dominant species of the Tau Empire.  The Tau prefer to carefully plan their assaults and tend to fight only after carefully coordinating all available troops. The Tau are very much a ranged-combat oriented army. A common tactic is to engage the enemy at the maximum range of their weapons, which typically have a longer range and greater firepower than the equivalent weapons of other armies. Tau usually try to take out the strongest weapons of the enemy as well as keeping enemy troops from reaching the Tau lines, as most Tau units are weak in close combat. A more prevalent tactic amongst Tau veterans is the "Mecha-Tau" approach, which utilizes the inherent mobility and speed of Tau vehicles and battlesuits to confuse and overwhelm the enemy by engaging them at all levels of the battlefield. The basic weapons of the Fire Caste propel particles that break down into plasma pulses as they are fired. This is commonly used in the long-range pulse rifle and more portable Pulse Carbine, the latter of which sports an underslung Auxiliary grenade launcher. A rapid-fire variation of the pulse carbine, known as the burst cannon, is also used on vehicles and battlesuits.Support the show

the Adeptus Ridiculous podcast. My name is D.K. Diamantis. His name is Bricky, and we have our special guest, best friend Kiriath, here today. But before we get into why he's here, if you enjoy today's episode, and maybe you want to support the Patreon, and over to patreon.com slash Adeptus Ridiculous, where you can get access to bloopers if they happen, the Discord, the $15 tier, gets you access to all of our posters in a crispy HD digital format, which, by the way, Bricky, we have a new poster. Yes, the final one of the year, the last one. It gets to be a big to be live for one whole

month. And then, uh, and then let's, let's see it. Let's see it. Yeah, let's see it. Yeah, let's see it. Because I haven't, ooh. Oh, okay. That's nice. That's pretty nice. This for my, that is classy. That is classy. That is actually pretty classy. Yeah, it's pretty classy. And as a weeb that knows far too much about how degenerate the anime community is. It's nice to see Shy as leaning into the armpit fetish. Well done. My brother in Christ, you are part of the community.

Well... How did you immediately make it not classy? It was already borderline. I just immediately tipped it right back into just the standard fare for the posters. That was instant. How? Pornography has ruined this generation.

so hard that man sees an armpit and immediately is like it must be a fetish. Look man, you don't you don't understand how the anime community rolls, all right? That is, yeah? There's a game called Grand Blue Fantasy I used to play. It ruins. It ruins everything. Oh my God. Okay.

Well, if you want to pick up the poster and all of the other posters that came out in 23. You have your final chance to grab them for the end of this year. December, anything you want to grab, because once the year twigs over, it will be done. And so check out the new stuff, get the new stuff and all the lovely things. It's good. Also, we are reading Lions Sons of the Forest for the book club. Yes, we are. So check out Orchidate.com in the description. There should also be a nice little header on the top of the site that says, like, last chance posters. and you can make sure you know which ones are going and which ones are narts. So, yay. Yeah, get the posters.

Get all the posters. So, you know, normally whenever I'm failing in some way, shape, or form, we bring Kyrie off on. We're like, all right, Bricky doesn't have time to do X or Bricky doesn't know about why or, you know, Bricky fell in a hole and he just has not had a chance to come back yet. not this time not this time this time uh hereoth is here

because it was just a topic we wanted to do there's so much self-deprecation going on here what's this self-blame stuff going on what's happening why do you make it sound like this is a new thing it's so much more real right now though

I don't think I'm not as self-deprecating as you are DK you hit your self worse than me. I mean, if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at? Right? You and shy. Yeah, that's right. Shai's got a great point. It's not self-deprecating if it's true. Yes, it is. Not really self-deprecating. Most English statement I've heard out of any of you, by the way. It's not self-deprecating if it's true. That basically sums up the entire... Yeah, it's just honesty at this point, right? You've been infected. That's what's happened. Karioth, why are you here?

Are you and Bricky going to be teaching today? Is this like a, uh, when our powers unite, I'm Captain Planet Deal? Hell nah. I don't want to do any work. I mean, that's fair. If you, if, yeah, okay. I feel like that could set some sort of precedent that we don't want to get involved in. So once again, I'm just, I'm just here to give Bricky a day off because he deserves it, not because.

he is incapable. That's how it works. And also he's still got a beer, so it doesn't count as a day off anyway. We're going to talk about Tao vehicles. Ooh, yeah. It's your gun plot episode,

D-Ks here. Oh, it's the gunplay. Are we going to talk about crisis suits and the... Here's the thing. Here's the thing. This is where we've got to establish some ground rules.

Is a vehicle and a battle suit the same thing? Really? I mean, there's a person... Oh, okay. riding in it, so isn't it, ergo, a vehicle? Does that make a pregnant woman a vehicle? For the baby, yes.

Also, secondly, to answer your question, Kyrioth, the answer is simple. Do you have footage, or do you have pictures of crisis suits to show us today? Ah, ha, ha, ha, do you? I mean, yeah. Then I guess it's a vehicle. So they are vehicles. I was going to make the exact argument that if someone can sit in it and move it about, it's a vehicle. Which is a bit of a weird definition, but you know what?

That's fine. That we're just going to stick with that. Because each one of the suits requires a towel to sit in it, to tell it what to do, to pilot it, drive it, if you will. Therefore, all vehicles. They're all counted as vehicles, and that's just the way it is. And people can argue about that definition, but they would be wrong specifically in relation to this episode, whether they like it or not. So nothing new there, really. Oh, hang on, wait, wait, counterpoint.

Is a wheelchair legally considered a vehicle in most states? Wheelchairs of any kind and mobility scooters are considered pedestrians. That would require me to give justification to American law. And I refuse. I have no idea. Bricky was a sovereign citizen. Anyway, let's have a little shout. It's a weird movement.

The transitions are getting worse and worse every single time I do anything with you guys and I apologize wholeheartedly. Let's start out with the common governable. The piranha, because what we're going to do is start from the lowest tier and move up, right? And for my money, this is one of the least interesting towel vehicles, harsh though it wants sound.

Really? Okay. Well, I mean, it seems like you're sort of fairly standard, like tank flyer deal. It looks good, but, you know, I imagine there's crazier stuff to come. So this is just sort of like the bare bones, just kind of, you know, it's nice. It's effectively your fast reconnaissance vehicle, a little bit of fire support going on. it has a drone on either wing, then you've got a cannon, a chin-mounted cannon,

as it does say in the official stat block for it, now something that's nice about a lot of the towel vehicles, is that they were released at a time where Games Workshop still did that thing where they put actual measurements

and speeds and armor types, like into the codexes and stuff. On a lot more recent stuff, you don't get these kind of breakdowns as to what these things are. But we do have that for this. So we know how much it weighed,

which is four and a half tons. We know that there's a crew of two, although you could probably see that just by looking at it. It's a grav speeder, and it has a maximum recorded speed of 160 kilometers an hour. What's that in freedom units?

I got a little bit. It's about 100. So 99.5. Okay, so it can move. It can move. It can be fast for a tank. That is way slower than I thought it would be. That is significantly slower.

Only 100 miles an hour. That is, for what it looks like, it does seem pretty slow. It has like the movement. Oh, my God, shy. Oh, no. It has like the movement of what would look like a Jukari, like Venom, which I imagine moves at like triple the speed. Yeah, yeah. It definitely, it's one of those things that looks a lot faster than it actually is.

things like the drones being like secondary armaments is cool but we're starting with that because whilst it is a good kind of idea to the design of tower vehicles overall it's not like it's not the peak because there is something

that is kind of related once again a kind of like reconnaissance and outflanking vehicle we're using the piranha as a jumping off point for the tetra which is way more fun because that has a max recorded speed.

Wow, that looks so weird. It really does. 350 kilometers an hour, which is 217 miles an hour that thing goes. Wow. Absolutely wild how fast. Would you be happy going at 270 miles an hour in that? That chair is, you are held on by like a nice little seat belt and that's about it.

Yeah, pretty much. I'm assuming the guy in the back is also looking through like the spotter scope, which probably is coming out of that drone in the way back. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. It looks awful. Yeah.

It should be like above him, right? Like right over his scope thing? Like where he's, where his hands are, it should be like right above there. So interestingly enough, because, you know, I like to supplement all this crap with, you know, tabletop versions of stuff. The piranha is actually one of my more favorite units. It's got some extra little missiles. It moves fast.

It can move up quickly. You can actually make enemies get harassed by drones, which is kind of fun. But the Tetra is humorously enough a sometimes often staple unit in current towelists because it's marker lights that it uses are like gigalights. And it makes it so that instead of giving. you plus one to hit, you like re-roll your entire hit roll, which makes them like really good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because the lights are too bright. They're giga lights. It's called high-intensity marker lights. All right. Sure. Why not? Well, I mean, that's the only armament it would have,

right? Because it's a scout ship. It does have pulse rifles into it as well. But it's, yeah, basically you get into position, then you get out, and then you go towards the battle. It's technically how it's supposed to work law-wise. They just call in reinforcements, right, and be like, yeah, we're stationed at point, blah, blah, blah, please come get us, we're in a Tetra, we can't do anything unless we get out of our scout ship. It specifically says, I think it's in the Imperial Armour. I think you see the volume two or three.

I forget which one it was that it was included in. It basically just says, Pathfinders get into it. They go way in advance of everything else because it's so extremely understanding. stupidly fast, and then they get out and they walk having hidden the vehicle, which as a basis for a two-man reconnaissance vehicle, I just find really funny, because the idea of speeding all the way there, then going, all right, we've got to get out of this, and then hiding it away, it's so good, especially when you have, as Shai's just pointing out, kind of big on drones, the town.

Yeah, they're huge on drones. They don't have drones. They can just fly in and do the reconnaissance for them. I particularly enjoy the fact that their weapons in game are two pulse rifles, which I assume are just the two guys in the thing pulling their guns out. Yeah. And being like, all right, yeah, it was firing, like doing a drive-by at 200 miles an hour. That's the thing that I like about the little kind of stat block.

that you keep saying stat blocks that's like a D&D fifth edition thing or path find a thing or whatever but like in the in the one for the piranha

it states that the main armament is a burst cannon in the chin turret and then the secondary armament are the gun drones that are like docked into the wings for the Tetra it just does say

twin-linked pulse rifles without any indication as to where they are so conceivably you're totally right it is quite possibly just the guys shooting out of it

as they speed around, which I think is a much better mental image than it actually having the guns attached. I would prefer that, if I'm honest. It has to be. Where would those come from on the Tetra? A mild, it's not really an upgrade, but something that you could argue would impact the efficiency and the need to use things like the Tetra is the next vehicle, which is the Remora drone stealth fighter, which to me is the pinnacle of. like cool tau stuff. I really like that. I've never seen that before. That's so cool.

Still available on Forge World, as far as I'm aware. Oh yeah, Remora Stoltron. Here it is. Yeah. I'm assuming for a small fortune if it's a Forge World model. Wow. If I remember right, is it like 45 quid or something or am I way off? I don't know what that is in Freedom Units, though, so that doesn't help, does it? But this is, hey, not bad.

Oh, for two of them? That's actually a, that's actually a fair price. If you're getting two of them, I'm assuming they're fairly big. So they're on a 60 mil base, and they are 160 points for two, which is, that is about GW prices right there. It's not, it's not great, it's not the worst. It's not bad for Forge World, that is it? Yeah, for Forge World, that seems not bad, because from... Also, only 50 quid makes that horribly tempting, and I don't play Tavis.

So that's worrying. You're going to buy one after this episode. It's just going to become, watch me lose the ability to self-regulate over the course of an hour. They just, I don't know what it is. The scaled up, the scaled up like drone, the larger cannons on the side, they are just the coolest thing.

So they are drone aircraft, there's no one in it, and they are designed to, act stealthily. They have a built in stealth field generator, and they are used in support of like your Pathfinder teams, stealth suits as well. Two twin, well, twin linked,

so technically two, burst cannons for aerial combat, and they also get Sika missiles for ground support. It's the coolest. I love it. It's great. So they have stealth technology, right?

Like there's the, this thing acts, Why is the scout ship not equipped with stealth capabilities? You mean the Tetra? Yeah. Because it's expensive. Why don't they put like stealth stuff on the scout? Because, you know, it has no weapons.

Wouldn't you want that thing to be stealthy? I always assume, I always assume that anytime anything is not put on something, I assume we just cost too much or it's too rare. Yeah. I mean, that's kind of what real life is like. I've gotten up to put it on this big old drone? Well,

But if you have a bunch of these, then they're also not manned. So I would imagine, like, my kind of interpretation of this is these aren't manned drones. They are, otherwise, they could be quite expendable. But the fact that if the, like, stealth field generator doesn't work or fails or is damaged, you're not losing someone when one of these gets shut down. Whereas with someone on board permanently, they can do more to, like, survive attacks, and the like. So with like the Tetra, it doesn't have the stealth technology,

but it does have two guys in it who are capable of getting out and sprinting so the loss of life is gone. Whereas if you want to protect the unmanned technology, which is probably more difficult to manufacture and more difficult to keep up to date, you want to have that stuff be as stealthy as possible because there's less chance of that than being spotted and dealt with without someone being able to do something about it

from like an extreme distance. It mentions that these are controlled from like tiger sharks and mantas and stuff, So they're being controlled from bigger, bigger units quite the distance away. All right, fine. Fine. Have it your way. I mean, it's like, why does the Imperium not use a million of the destroyer of galaxy's guns? It's like, well, because the ad mech found the STC once, and then someone didn't perform the right of sacred unguints, and then someone fell on the copy machine, and now they can never do it again.

And it's like, okay, well, how about for Tao? It's just kind of pricey. Okay, okay, okay. They can't afford it on everything. It's a fairer reasoning. They've got normal scouts. Okay, fine. They're only small as well, the Tao Empire, comparatively.

Like, they've only got limited. Well, I mean, comparatively. More limited resources. I was going to say, compared to the Imperium, everything is small. Yeah, they can't be splashing out all over the place. That just, I mean, they've managed to survive insane things that really probably should have wiped out the empire as a whole. but, you know, they still have capitalism, I guess.

Capitalism, I guess. It's always the answer. What's our next vehicle? So we're going to move on to a chassis, which is the devilfish chassis. So this is their main transport for the Tao. It's also the basis for their two main tanks. And weirdly, the initial, like, the armaments for it

are the same as the piranha. It has the burst cannon in the chin turret, and it has two gun drones on it, but it is a lot, lot bigger, and it is capable of transporting troops. Wow, that thing is actually huge. I like the devilfish also quite a bit. I think it's just enough alien

and just enough of like, a genuinely somewhat feasible looking grav tank. Yeah. Yeah. It looks recognizable as alien and, you know, I don't want to say human, but yeah. I love those big, like, exhausts on the sides. Those are really cool. Yeah, I really like the engines on these.

It kind of makes it, it makes the whole thing look, I don't know, like, properly feasible. It's still sleek and it's still quite streamlined. Yeah. but it also has the kind of not like downside but very notable massive engines on the side it's a 75 kilometer an hour

tank so it's not massively fast about 47 miles an hour well it's a giant tank so I mean that's still pretty big 14 tons as well and since it's a grab tank that's that's pretty good traveling at that sort of speed but it's also the basis for their

for their other tanks as well So the devilfish is used to build off for the hammerhead, which is... It's great. It's just a devilfish with a railgun on top. Wow, that's the massive railgun. Holy smokes. We are very familiar with the hammerhead. The hammerhead was the bane of many people in 9th edition.

It was that one, huh? The rail gun? The rail gun, yep. Okay. The nice thing with the railgun, that I really like about the tower is that they have kind of ion cannons and burst cannons and, you know, various, like, very sci-fi. I mean, certainly, you know, railguns are still technically a bit sci-fi. We don't have, like, massively reproducible versions, even if various countries have been kind of looking at the technology for a little while.

But the rail gun is still kind of what a rail gun is. It's just a solid projectile that is fired at such insane speeds that it passes through or explode. pretty much anything. So whilst you've got all this kind of laser stuff and even the Imperium has got Lasguns, the Tao have got a massive, massive rifle that fires a slug at, like, I think it's hypervelocity, is the word.

Hypervelocity. Just slams through and into anything. It's great. It's so cool. Okay. I mean, it looks cool. It does add a little bit of flare to the tank. That's a little more intimidating. to the tank.

It's also one of those weapons that, like, you never really realize you're getting shot by it until you've been shot by it. Because for the most part, you know, Tao ranges are supposed to be gigantic. So you'll see this, like, blue glint on the horizon. God knows how long away. And then just this, this, like,

man-sized chunk of metal just goes through your, your chimera. You're like, oh, my God. We are under, yeah, with, like, a blanche speed, yeah. We are under, yeah, with, like, a bling. Like, it's just gone. Like, oh, no. Why is the, why is the tank in half?

Oh. Oh. Oh. Yeah, all you hear is foo. And it's like, oh, why is the tank falling apart? There is a slightly better version, which also wasn't really a thing that existed for very long. Because in chapter approved, 2004, the swordfish was introduced, which is What the hell is that?

It's basically the same tank but with two rail guns. It's just double rail guns on top of that thing? Sheesh. Can you imagine how pissed people would be if the Tao had twin rail guns? That is not a thing you can field anymore, funnily enough. If you want to, here's a fun option or extra, but, you know. That looks so ugly. I hate the double.

I hate the double. Really? I think the double. looks fine. I think it's just kind of a weird color scheme on that specific mini. I think it looks pretty cool. I don't have any major gripes with it. It's just a weird color scheme.

The white and blue look weird. You know, I think it's the way it's like balancing on top of the tiny little, like piece of metal for the base. It just kind of throws me off. I mean, the one, the actual model that I put in, I think the one's an illustration. No,

it's not, is it? But there's, like, there's the one that's, the one that I put in is like a kit bash version by a guy called Dan Harden who did like... Because on the surface of it just having an extra rail gun, it's funny and it is kind of cool.

But that's a lot of extra weight and it's a lot of additional turret and it's a lot of extra power required for it and ammunition as well. So he kind of like did an extra step of including like there's an extra engine on each side to make

Make it more like... Oh, yeah, there aren't there? I didn't even know. I don't know why I didn't know. I guess more viable, really. Because when you look at the size of the other image that I put in, it does not look like it should be able to move. It looks like it's really, really absurdly top heavy. I just loved that someone just sat there and went, yeah, but what if they had two rail guns?

Sure, let's think of that. Can you imagine firing both of those at the same time? Like that big old tank probably gets propelled like a hundred feet backwards. No, you see that they prep for it. You know, you know how like the, they get the feet into the ground with the little claws? No, no, no, no. You know how the A10 Warthog actually has a gigantic, the giant gun is entirely prepped for when they fire it because the recoil pulls the plane up so they can like prep?

Yeah. They fire both the rail guns at the same time and they do a full backflip. but then with the graph technology they land normally so it's all been prepared. That's true, it's a grab tank. They could totally backflip and just stick the landing. Easy. Easy, easy. We figured it out.

There's a mental picture. Imagine being the enemy and seeing that big old tank to a backflip. Doth is that? So many guardsmen running away from that particular image. You know what? I need that image. Someone draw that of the tank spinning and then just guardsmen hunker down in a bunker holding up

cards that have ten on them? Or holding up the ten as they're running away. Like, I'm not dealing with this. They don't pay me enough for this. I will say the railguns next to each other, that does look better. That looks way better. It's a better interpretation. If they were clunked together like it was one giant railgun. That looks like it's on a particular thing, but I'm not going to say what it is. Because we might be getting there soon or later.

Tank backflip. I want the footage leading up to that. That's what I want. Definitely. Oh, don't worry. I have that footage. Excellent. Okay.

Tank fighting animation with the hot wind blowing soundtrack from Metal Gear Rising. Oh, wow. Oh, God. I love this video. Hey, that's actually pretty cool. It's just a tank doing like fighting game moves. That's what I, that's what I want the, that's what I want the, that's what I want the, that's what I want the Tao tank to do.

That's exactly. No. No, no, no, no. Exactly that. In D.K., you got it all wrong. This is the Imperial Guard versus the Tao Empire. Oh, no. This is a Lehman Rust, just like,

like fist fighting a ribtide. No, I refuse. Now I don't like it. Move on. Moving on. I don't like it anymore. Last devilfish-based vehicle that we have is by far my favorite name of all.

of them. It's the, and I'm going to give it the full name. We didn't do the whole, like, Ty, 7, TX8 thing for the others, but this deserves its full name. The TX78 Skyray missile defense gunship. What? The Sky Missile Gun Defense ship, did you say?

It's just, everyone just calls it the Skyray. The Sky Ray, yeah. But it's technically the Sky Ray Missile Defense Gunship, which is one of the best names. in all of Warhammer. I love. It's just got wing platforms that have missiles galore on them.

I love the Skyray. I think the Skyray is awesome. The missile rack is so cool. It's great. It's probably the coolest-looking variation we've seen, to be fair. But so it really, it only has six missiles

on it, and then you have to, like, reload them. Or are those, like, super-duper high-powered missiles? Or how does that work? Because, I mean, I know, like, in modern, like fighter jets, they only have like four. It is only the six. Yeah. It's, so there's, it carries six Sika missiles and the, uh, the turret that they're

on is like 360 degrees. So you can just go literally anywhere. Oh yeah, because that first picture, you can see it spinning around and so they get in it behind them or yeah, yeah. Yep. Um, plus it's got Markalites and target lock. So it's all basically built around making as much use of the, uh, of the six secret missiles as possible.

It does still have like, you can see on the model, like with the gun drones with the burst cannons on it. But yeah, it's pretty much a firing platform for six massive missiles and it does not want to ever miss. So it comes with a bunch of stuff to make locking on that much more reliable. Oh yeah, because if those six missiles miss and they don't do all the damage, it's like, well, that sucks. We're not defenseless because it's still got some guns, but it's like, well, our uses run out. You know, nothing. Warhammer eventually just decided that having spare ammunition on one's body or vehicle is just not cool enough, and they just kind of got rid of that. I mean, to be fair, it's kind of hard to carry around spare missiles like that, I guess, because you don't want those just, like, sitting around inside the tank either.

The thing is, though, they kind of decided not to have ammo on stuff for a lot of things, like the Imperial Knights. Yeah. As I said, is like a really good example where you look at an Imperial Knight and it's got a Gatling cannon with like a box of ammo on it and that's it. And there's nothing else. And it's like, okay, cool. So you've got eight shots, brilliant. But then with the newer knights that they kind of moved out of Forge World into plastic,

the Knight Sirastus and Asheron and Lancer. the Sarastas and the Ashron have got weapons that have a full ammo belt going from the weapon to a massive hopper on the back of the, on the back of the night. So it looks like it could fire just for longer than like, you know, 12 seconds. It looks like it might actually be able to get a few shots off. But they've only done it for those. And they just never tried to do it for all of the other Imperial Knights. They're like, yeah, whatever.

I mean, like, should I say. trying to apply realism to a fantastical futuristic sci-fi game is sometimes that's a little silly. Like it's just a fun little whatever. It's like, oh, this is the tank. This is the gun. We need to have a chew for, yeah. I mean, you look at like space marines. They have like two ammo pouches on their body.

Like you're going to with their bolt gun, they're going to run out of ammunition within maybe three minutes. Yeah. Hey, I've played Dark Tide. I know how quickly those bolt. guns run out of ammo, all right? That's why glorious melee combat is so important in Warhammer because you're going to be out of ammo in three

magazines. Unless you use a sale, then, hey, who needs ammo? So, yeah, that's the last of the devilfish sort of varieties. Games Workshop, obviously, they knew they're onto a winner when it comes to the

battle suits, which is why the devilfish varieties and kind of piranha, I mean the Piranha and Tetra, really the same vehicle, but they very much swerved hard into going big mechanical suits with two legs and a bunch of guns, because that's what people liked the most out of the tow. Hell yeah, brother. Which also unfortunately means that the crout never got on of the look in, which is sad, but at least they're making a slow comeback now.

So we're going to start having a look at the crisis battle suit. Let's go. And there are a ton. There's so many different. versions of the... The The Sunny different... The older ones,

they are, I think, it's fair to say, a little bit dated now. They are... I think that specific model is getting on a bit. But for an old... To be fair, again, for an old mini, that's not bad. Like, there are some old minis

that are just absolutely yikes. That's not bad, though. And there's things that can be done to kind of make it a little less, a little less stubby. Something I've seen quite a few people do now is like the head is a bit high up compared to the newer commander model

for instance. Just chop the neck off the head and put it directly onto that neck mount and it makes the model look way newer than it is somehow. Just the lack of distance does a lot to help. But the crisis battle suit, so the XV8

is the standard version of the suit and they are used by the firecast, which is like the warrior cast of the Tao and they are about two, two and a half times the size of your average, your average Tao Fire Warrior. And these specifically are like the bodyguard suits. So these are the ones that are protecting the commander who is usually in a more advanced, like more upgraded version of the Crisis Battlesuit.

There's a, there's an absolute ton of like different variations of like body. guard units. So the suit has got a bunch of different weapons options. There's missile pods, drone controllers, you can use that to control gun drones. There's fusion blasters, there's also shield generator options, there's plasma rifles,

fusion blasters. It can just be kitted out pretty much however you like. And they are pretty much there to prevent the commander from being killed. And if a

The Tao in a crisis battle suit has failed that and the commander dies, they will quite often spend their entire life, like, atoning for allowing that to occur. Yeah. Because they've kind of become Ronan, because now they don't have a master sort of going with the, you know. Yes. Yeah. I don't want to say we, but it's sort of the samurai style. So there's different...

Serving the Lord and... Yeah. There's like, there's a few different... They look really cool, actually. I'm kind of getting into these crisis suits. I mean, the crisis suit look is, it's one of those things where it's like, it's really iconic. It is arguably the most iconic Tao thing out there. But it's also, the suits are a little dated.

It's also really funny because I don't know if shy I can post the new Farsight. Oh, that's right there was a new Farsight suit, wasn't there? The new Farsight is great. Yeah, the new Farsight suit. is great, but it's also, like, it's enormous compared to the other crisis suits. Like, the other crisis suits, if you took a mini and put it next to him, they go to his waist. He is gigantic. Wow.

But he's so cool, but I don't even care. I know. I'm so good. The new Farsight Crisis suit reminds me of something out of Robotech with, like, the big wings, big chest kind of short, mobile skinny legs. you know I already said that it looks like something out of armored core you said Robotech oh you said oh sorry sorry I meant armored core

sorry sorry sorry my mind was in armored core and apparently my mouth did not want to follow my brain sorry I meant armored core sorry as so as someone that played 60 hours of armored core 600% that goddamn game because it's my personal game of the year Um, it's good.

I actually kind of agree because armor core is like whatever the chassis is with ludicrously oversized weapons in the hands and shoulders. And the shoulder pad there looks like it should fire a bunch of missiles and crap, you know? Yeah, yeah. Or it might even just be like a mobility thing, but you still got to even it out somehow. The Farsight Mobility Scooter. Okay. But yeah, love that new Farsight Mini.

Love that. It's great. I think it's one of the best towel models. they've ever released by far. It's so, so good. I do, I do want to just, like, just probe, this is a terrible way. I was going to say, I just want to probe breaking him out something,

but you've just been and we'll, let's just make it. Yeah, listen, listen, but you can probe me if you'd like. It's pretty loose right there. Oh, boy. God. I just went to the bathroom, man. It's very loose down there. If you got to probe me, now's the time.

All right. Look, you have sufficiently made up for me making the cursed poster comment, like, we're even. You can stop now, all right? You got me. I'm done. Restrade is not part of my vocabulary. Fair enough. Fair play. Fair play. What I want to know is, do you think, because I have a personal theory that Games Workshop

saw the, like, sales numbers for Tao go up when they stopped painting them beige all the time and started painting them white and gray in their promotional images? Do you agree with that? Do you think that's something that happened? Well, okay, maybe what is this segue? Oh no, it was just something we were talking about. He was just curious. He was curious about the whole time you were gone, yeah. Oh, I don't know.

You know what? I would say that maybe it isn't when they turned them into white. I think they maybe started doing better when they put them in far sight colors because people love that red. Ooh, that's fair. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah. That's true. When I think of a crisis suit, I either think of it in the wedding.

red and white wet and white it's a wed suit yeah but yeah I always think of crisis suits in the white with the red helmet or just all red like the Farsight Enclave But the thing is you don't think about them in beige

Do you? Never Until this episode I didn't even know you could get them In well you can almost custom paint them in beige But I didn't even know that that was How they used to do it So what's the next suit So yeah we've got the We've got the XV8, which is the bodyguard suit.

There's different variations of that. So the red suit further up, which is the XV-O2 Crisis Eridium Battlesuit, is just a more heavily armored version of the XV8. So a bit more chunky, he's got a fatter chest, and then there's quite a few different versions of the XV8 suits that came out of Forge World. So you've got ones that have got like smart missile systems and marker lights and target locks and stuff,

and they all have slightly different names. So there's like the XV-81, the XV-84, but the ones that you see the most for commanders now are the XV-85 and XV-86, which are the Enforcer Battlesuit and the Cold Star Battlesuit, which is, I mean, they are so good, those models. They're reimagined, like, commander models for the Tao.

really good Yes The enforcer That one is the one Particularly the cold star I love the cold star Yeah Oh that is

That is indeed the one I love the backpack I love the sort of Mechanical Wing backpack Thing going on Love that It's so so nice I was so happy when they did that

The Cold Star is like The go really fast one It moves. I remember vividly in the old game, it would move like 20 inches, which for perspective,

the piranha moved 14. And then there was like a once per game thing where you could like turbo jet it and just move it double. So people would just move it 40 inches across the board and then just murder some poor backline, like objective holder. It's great. So,

yeah, honestly, that thing kind of reminds me to be a bit of a week. here. It reminds me of a mobile suit called Tallgeese from Gundam Wing. Has like these big Werner jets on its back and its whole thing is nobody can pilot it because it goes so fast it will literally kill you. Oh my God, that bit of art insane. Oh, it's so good. It makes it look so chunky.

Yes. A Tao art where they're actually winning. God damn. Yeah, and you can see the enemies in melee range. This is unprecedented times. Yeah. Never before seen Tao in close. combat action and actually doing well.

Not dead, yeah. It might be about to be destroyed, but it's not yet. Nah, he's good. Look at him. Yeah. He's doing the floating hero pose and everything. Yeah, he's fine. He's like, this is like main codex art looking right here, you know?

Yeah. No, not it comes on the blue. Yeah, the color scheme a little weird for the suit, but the pose, the art, classy. Like it. Still better than beige, though, isn't it? Easily. Yeah, he's right.

Yep. Just got to throw in more beige hate as we go. So, I grew, my entire living situation was, was a Southern California, like 2000s where everything was granite and beige. And I despise it with a fiery passion.

Well, beige is just such a boring color to begin with. It's like, it's like light brown, boring, I don't know. It's just the color of 90s computers. And I don't know why any,

one wants that. I don't know why, but for some reason, your voice like revered when you said that. It's just the color of like brown. Brown. I was like, oh yes, sir. All right. So the step up,

well, not really step up. In terms of sheer firepower, the step up from like the commander suits is the broadside. Now there's two different, there's two different things I'm going to throw in here. This is the broad side that Games Workshop first released.

Oh God, that's so bad. I didn't know about that. Oh, wow. Talk about a glow-up, because I know what the broadside looks like. Wow. So the broadside is the XV-80, equipped with two rail guns and two missile pods. And that's what it used to look like. And it did not look good.

No. It wasn't great. And something that a lot of people did very, very quickly was to kit bash these. They took the missile pods off the hands. They used a bit of plastic card. I think there was some other bits on some of the other towel spruce brews that you could use to cobble together stuff. And I remember this specifically because of someone in my like local gaming store at the time who saw these and went, absolutely not. I'm not having this. And immediately started changing it so that they held the railgun underslung, which leaves us to the XV 882, which is what we currently have.

Much better. Yes, you have the rail gun being held, and you have the weapons on the shoulders, because... Way better. Yeah. Those first ones were such a severe miss that I didn't know anyone who actually built them as is, and I'm assuming it's just because Games Workshop saw so many pictures of people refusing to build them how they were supposed to, that they went... I don't know. I'm actually not going to lie.

I'm not going to lie Like that beige one that shy posted Actually doesn't even look as good In my opinion to the like the actual Like the box art itself I feel like when it's Damn curious Maybe you're right

Maybe it's just the color scheme It's the color scheme But like it looks It looks better in this photo I think Like it's it's got a bit more heft to it And all that kind of stuff you know Yeah Yeah

I like the broadside a lot I really It's actually my probably my second favorite Tau Battlesuit. I think it could use an update on its model but it would be one of those model updates that like Kirioth would wet himself

over, particularly like the new Terminators, where they're just the same but better in every way. Yeah. That's what this needs. It needs to be the exact same just slightly better proportions a couple adjustments here and there and it's perfect. Yeah, that's pretty much. My whole thing with the new 7thus was just like

they look exactly like the old ones, but the scale's right, and that was it. The rest of it, borderline identical, but I didn't want, like, new Terminators. I wanted the old Terminators to look right, which is what they did. I feel like you're right. With the broadside, just little things here and there, just to bring it, like, a bit more up-to-date would be perfect. Yeah. I just can't imagine a world where they're like, where should we put the missile pods? How about his fists? And it's like, really?

The box you think are going to be his hands? I don't know why they did it. Close, shy. Close. But I know we're going to get to one of those probably next. Kiryath is the ghost kill next? I was going to do the ghost kill next. Yes.

This is my favorite battle suit by a country mile. By a country mile is the broad side or the ghost kill. Oh, dude. I feel like I've seen these before. But like, it's been a while. Damn, I forgot how cool the ghost keel looks. It's so sick. It's crazy.

The reason I love the ghost keel is one, the proportions are right. Two, the helmet is awesome. I was going to say it's the helmet, isn't it? Because that's badass. Three, it's the fact that it's a stealth suit. Oh, okay. I could see that, sure. Got like a refractive field and stuff.

And lastly, people have kit bash shit a lot to look like Titan Fallmax. you know me in Titanfall. Ah, yes. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. That's fair. It's, for me, this, like, the ghost keel is one of the, one of the towel suits that's got, like, the only way to describe it, and I used this phrase earlier today, it's got the right, like, amount of sci-fi gubbins, just like bits, just random, like, bits that go all over the model. You don't know what they do. No one cares. No one's interested in what the actual function of all these little kind of, like, little, like, resistors and bulges and wires and little panels do.

No one cares about that. If there aren't enough, it looks a bit cheap. If there are too many, it looks too busy. The ghost keel is just got it perfect. It has just the right amount of just random sci-fi contraptions on it. And it's so, so good. So the ghost keel The ghost keel battle suit

Especially in game is particularly Infuriating to deal with Because it has something called loan operative Which means it can only be shot if you're within 12 inches of the model Which is kind of close But it also has stealth which means it's minus one to hit And it has stealth drones which take shots for them Like flying in the way of the shots

But it also has a gun that is 36 inch range So some people just run three of these things in the backfield where they cannot be shot whatsoever, rain down gunfire at you, and then when you do shoot it, it's just like Lola Mouse stealth drones. It's actually really infuriating to deal with. Yeah, that sounds like a nightmare. Even if you do put some shots on it, it's like not squishy. Like, look at it. Oh, man.

Yeah. Yeah. So are the ghost keel just a really big favorite of Tao players? like most tau players are just running a bunch of these. A lot of them like to run one, minimum, because it's really good. If I had a Tao army, I would probably run like two to three because I just think they're really good. Yeah. Yeah.

And they still, like, they still pack a good punch as well. And it feels like one of those kind of experimental things where as much technology has been packed in as possible, which kind of just adds to how cool they are. There's just something about the overall design that's so different. to a lot of the other stuff, it looks like a bit of a leap forward. There is something that's a bit similar but smaller, which is the suit that Commander Shadow Sun wears, which is the XV-22, which is kind of, it's sort of ghost keel-esque, but it's a lot smaller. And it's still like, it's still like more experimental.

That is the wrong mini, Kyrioth. Please, please provide DK with the correct. mini sir. I'm assuming it's been upgraded significantly since the old one. Because I believe this is the actual new one, isn't it? Yes. That's the new one. The original one was cool, but not cool enough. I feel like I've seen this one. Actually, I think somebody gifted this one to me. Because like this one doesn't even look like a suit. It just looks like armor that she wears rather than being a crisis suit, right? Pretty much. Yeah. I mean, it's, I mean, she's like, I mean, it's really cool. Basically. It's like a stealth suit, kind. It's like a commanding stealth suit.

Yeah. Yeah. It's very dope. Love it. But yeah, it just doesn't seem like a crisis suit. You posted that. I want to like to throw up immediately. I was like, God, it's the old Shadow Sun model.

I'll be honest. I may have just thrown the old one in first just to see what happened. Just to see what the reaction was? Good man. Good man. You know how the internet works. Get the reaction. Get the reaction.

At the time, at the time, it was like, it was all right. Like at the time it was all right But the new one is Definitely like oh this is what this should have been The whole time But you know They've definitely got they've definitely got better at the whole making suits As they've gone a long thing

We do have an entire Like Forge World side of things as well When it comes to these suits So there is a series of armour Which is the hazard close support armor and there's various different versions of this

which I actually think that some of this stuff is some of my favorite towel stuff so that is the XV-904 and there's a few different versions of this which just have different guns on them it's packing for sure

yeah they're like they're more like short range platforms so they're designed to get in a bit closer and they have like stronger weapons

than you would ordinarily see on crisis suits even though crisis suits already pack quite a punch but there's like there's a version of this that has got twin-linked burst cannons on each arm

for instance so it's a case of packing as much firepower in as possible jumping them in just knocking out as much as possible and then trying to get out again I really like the design of these

because they're still very recognisably tau but there's some stuff at like especially if it's like the shoulders the knees even the chest is like a little bit more rounded it's less blocky than a lot of the crisis suits yeah the second one shy post it looks like it's got like that sort of jet engine on the back

like the transforming macross I know I've said that already but yeah that one actually has definitive like oh look look, this could maybe turn into a jet type vibe to it, yeah. Yeah, the jump packs are very different to a lot of the other towel stuff, but I don't know, there's just something about them that they, in a way they're almost like uncanny valley towel suits,

because they look very close but not quite. Yeah. But there's significant differences to a lot of the major kind of design cues for the rest of them. But the step up from that kind of thing is, well, I don't know. I mean, we've got to talk about the riptide, really. Of course, of course. Ripside is absolutely, absolutely great. Man, I never get tired of seeing the riptide.

Oh, I do. Really? No, I like the riptides look a lot. I think it looks beautiful, but the riptide has ruined the game for like four editions. Oh, it's just they're a pain in the butt to fight on like the tabletop. There was an old phrase called triptides, and it was always three riptides, and it was good in like, From like sixth edition to like ninth or something. It's been a thing.

But they do look very pretty. They're so badass. Those are so cool. I mean, essentially they're just, they look like they're just giant, more heavily armed crisis suits that we saw before, right? So,

yeah. Of course it's going to look cool. It's pretty much scaled up crisis suits with the tank version of the weapons that the crisis suits carry. Yeah, very cool. I guess like the traditional. 40K method of just make it bigger and stick the bigger version of gun on it, which...

Scale it up, just scale it up. Never gets old, to be fair. It's always great. So it's a working formula, so... The riptide... I cannot remember the last time I saw a Tao army that doesn't have a riptide in it. It feels like they've just been auto-include for so, so long that if you play Tao, you have at least one. Like, it's not quite mandatory, but it's been good enough that it's just... You couldn't really escape them for a while there.

Every, every, every, every Tao Army has a riptide, huh? I mean, it's iconic, it's good, it's just a big chunky mech. It looks cool. It looks cool. Why wouldn't you use it? It just, it really is just one of those units that, like, I don't know, You just, you have a riptide. I really don't know of anyone who doesn't have a riptide.

He's right. Cool. Good for the riptide. Good for you for being iconic. They got fun weapons too. Like there's the, that one has the ion accelerator, which is just a big like Uber plasma. But then there's like the heavy burst cannon, which is the VF sounding one, you know. Got to go br.

Yeah, pretty much. It's, it's true. I mean, it's the riptide. It's the riptide. It looks like it could move pretty. fast too with the giant like engines on the back. Maybe not like mock speed or anything, but it looks like a good, it could move around. I think for the size, the movement speed is pretty decent, isn't it?

Yeah, it's pretty quick. It's like 10 inches in game, which piranhas are 14, devilfish is like 10 or 12. So like it moves. Yeah. How big is it compared to like a knight or something? I think, size comparison. Nights are bigger. Yeah.

Yeah. Not substantially larger. I don't say it's like three quarters maybe, between two-thirds and three-quarters, I think. So a riptide could fight a knight? Well, well, in terms of lore, I... Like, in terms... Oh, there we go. Perfect. Shy.

Oh, wow. They're pretty comparable, actually. I think a knight definitely, I think, for the most part, is a more powerful vehicle than a knight by, like... or then a riptie by a pretty good margin. But it also depends. Because, you know, like, you get, like, a lore battle and then, like, a towel thing. Like, fires a really good shot. It breaks the nice void shields and breaks a leg.

And then, you know. Yeah, true. It depends more on the pilot than it does the machinery. Or the knight runs up and just shoves that chain sword into a riptide. Riptide is like, well, I guess I'm dead. Fair, fair. Okay. There are some like

variations on the riptide as well in the form of it always has to come up like more forge world models because forge world get to do more fun stuff What is that? That's the That is the

Arvana battle suit I don't know how to pronounce it I'm gonna you know what I'm just gonna just copy paste it and you can make it up for yourself Avana Ravana Yeah, I don't know.

Nirvana? Irvana or Nirvana. It smells like Teen Spirit, yeah. But it's basically kind of, not like an update, but a different version of the Riptide, which has way more armor and more firepower. Look at those guns. Jeez.

Yeah, it's, I absolutely love this version of it. It's great. So the guns that it has are pulse submunition cannons. which sounds hardcore, but it's basically plasma. It's basically just plasma, but little clusters of plasma instead of a big blast of plasma. So it sounds more impressive than it actually is. But it's still, I think, one of the most, like, fun kind of battlesuit designs

just because of how it just looks crazy to me. Like the total lack of head, the massive buildup of armour around the top between the shoulders. Even the shoulders themselves have got these kind of built-out sections. It's really, really... I don't know if it's because the fins or the color schemes,

but it looks like it should be seafaring. It almost looks like it should be a crustacean. The red does make it look a bit lobster-like for some reason, I don't know what. I think it's the head. It almost looks like a diver's helmet, how it just kind of moulds into the body. It's not, it doesn't think it's any segment.

It's just part of the thing. Yeah, and it's got lots of like little thin wing things all over it too. That's like, oh yeah, this will cut through the water or something. Which looks very like, yeah. That's pretty good though, because I mean, a lot of Tao stuff is fish related. You know, the piranha, the riptide. Oh, yeah. When we start getting into aircraft, it gets massively fish related.

They love some fish names for their aircraft for some reason. which is kind of weird because the suit is like crisis and broad side. And it's like, here is the devil fish. Where's the connection? We don't know, but it's fine. It sounds cool. It sounds cool and that's the important bit. Another variation of the, I think it's an evolution of like the last one, the Rivana.

I hate the name of it. It's the Ivarra, which is this one. Flame thrower. Yeah, it's basically just a massive plasma flamer platform. So it jumps in, torches everything. I don't know if it's the color scheme or the pose, but I don't love that. I don't like the way that looks at all. I don't like the tainty little head with the turtle neck.

Yeah, yeah. And then the gun just looks a little wacky to me. I like the right-sided gun. I don't like the big gun. It looks a little weird. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's, it's kind of, for me,

it's just not quite as cohesive as, like, as the lobster suit. It's just not quite as fun as that. Yeah. Shai says it's equipped with a triple-barreled, phased plasma flamer capable of vaporizing even hardened seramite. Yep. And a massive EMP cannon as well. Okay, I think it was just the,

color scheme in the post because that one that just got posted in like the orange and black looks sick. That looks dope. I love that one. The one before I hated. This one, I'm on board again. The turtle neck still isn't great, but it's definitely a bit better in that color scheme,

which I never thought I'd say. Yeah, I think the orange kind of hides it. It's like, oh, look at the turtle neck because it kind of just melds in with the rest of it, I think. Yeah.

Yeah. And it's from that angle. Yeah. Yeah. So we also have, I mean, again, something that you see fairly regularly, if you have any sort of interaction with Tao armies, or at least you did for a while, I'm not sure about now, the storm surge, which... Oh, yeah, the missile platform! Well, and the shoulder thing. Oh, yeah, and the giant shoulder cannon, sure.

Yeah, the giganto, the giganto cannon is definitely a big part of it. I just wish they gave it arms. I just wish they gave it arms. This thing has always looked so weird to me. I've seen this a bunch of times and it's like, man, it's just so goofy having no arms and it's just like, look at these giant missile pods that are my shoulders and my arms, I guess. And it's just, it's so, it looks unfinished. So you say that.

It does. You say that. But the fact that it has stabilizing joints that look like stiletto heels will, you'll Never not fuck with me. It kind of does. You're right. You're right. The only thing that slays more is the Tau storm surge.

This thing slays. Yeah. It looks like somebody forgot to glue on like the arms at the end of the missile pods. It really, it just looks like it's missing something. And it's like, yeah, it's arms. just an absolutely baffling choice. I just don't understand why it was done that way. Like, oh my God, like, look at that.

That's so much cooler. Yeah, someone kit bashed arms on it, and it does look so much better. It really is. There are so many places you can buy 3D printed arms for this thing. It's unreal. Like, people have made entire small fortunes out of selling arms for the Storm Search. At some point, they're going to do that, right? They're either going to make, like, an extension.

pack or something that you can buy and put arms on this thing, right? A hundred percent. Or whenever they do like a big tau upgrades like, all right guys, we added arms. Are you happy now? And everybody's like, yes! I mean, look at, it's just better. So much better.

It's so much better. It's infinitely better. And the thing is they kind of try to get around it by going, oh, well, it's not really a battle suit. It's a weapons platform. It's like a walking tank less than that. It's like, yeah, but you made it looked like a suit. It looks like a suit. It's got laid. A torso and a head.

Head. It's a suit. Yeah. You want to make it look like a tank? You make it into a tank. It's like loads of other tanks you could have made it look like. But no, you made it look like a suit without arms. And it just doesn't... It looks like it'll fall over at any point.

And the stabilizing stilettos don't help with that look. It just makes it look like it's wearing heels, which is more unstable. The tank version of this is called the hammerhead. Oh, it's so rough. It is kind of brutal Oh well Luckily I mean there is like an actual good version of that

Well I say version of that It's quite a lot bigger It's also insanely good The town of supremacy armor It's hilarious And I love it It's so good I despise this thing

Tabletopper because it's bad What's wrong with it? Look at it. It's a big chunky boy. I'm looking. It's almost as ridiculous as the big exam. It has three pulse ordinance drivers. Four bursts cannons.

It doesn't have to have. He's got options. Four burst cannons, the fusion eradicator, the tri-axis ion cannon, and most importantly, crushing feet. I kind of love it, to be honest with you. I actually dig it. quite a bit. I think it's

really cool. The one with the missile system, which is the second of the model one, what model ones that I've put in? I mean, that is just, it's just 100% Pacific Rim. So, why would you not like that? It's great. It looks so good.

I mean, for a time, it was horrific, but, you know, tabletop-wise, it was not the most fun. I think the, I can't remember, what was the points cost for it at one point, because I remember someone took it to like a thousand point game and people got very annoyed about it.

I just remember seeing that thread on Reddit. The points costs now is 790, which is a lot. It's a lot, but it's also got like just so many guns. And like a small army by itself. It also has a really, really good rule that means when you give it a marker light spot, it gets re-roll ones to hit.

Normally you get plus when it hit, so you're going from hitting on fours to hitting on three or rolling ones, which is a very good thing. It also has the heavy rail cannon array which is damage 16.

So it just basically one taps like any vehicle in the game. Yeah. So. Yeah, it's pretty, it's pretty good. It's all right. It does okay for itself. Is this something that gets rolled a lot by

Tao players or is it No. Too expensive? I mean, I forget how much this is, but I believe it's several hundred quid, at least. It's extremely expensive. And it's a lot of points, even though it's good. It's a ton of points. In fact, I'm going to have a quick look because I'm pretty sure that the last time the price increases went in,

it became even more horrific than it was before. Yeah, there you go. So, 164 pounds for just the body. Yeah, without the guns. Without the guns. So no guns. You gotta buy the guns separately? Yeah.

You gotta buy the guns. You've got to buy the arms separately, and you've got to buy the actual guns on top. Really? I love games for a shop. That's, oh. Yeah, so the rail pound array is 75 quid. And I haven't even seen the arms yet.

So, oh, so, okay, so 40 quib. an arm, 75 quid for the back weapon, and 164 quid for the body. Jesus. That is a hefty investment. That's like, that's almost a full-ass army. It's basically, it's not that

far off being oh no, I think the Warhounder body is 400 quid, but it's like, it's still a lot. It's a lot of cash. And it's obviously resin being Forge World, so there's all the definitely extremely high quality, fine

product stuff you get along with that name. Yeah. Said not at all bitterly thinking about some of the stuff that I've received from Fortune in the past. Oh, God. Man, I wouldn't know anything about resin not showing up nice and clean and having to use a heat gun to warp it back into shape. I wouldn't know a thing about that.

Yeah, it doesn't sound like you know anything about it, Brie. It doesn't sound like it's ever happened to you in the history of Warhammer. It's so, it's, I definitely don't have, I definitely have never actually ever seen some, uh, interesting 3D printed models that were higher quality than the forge world resin I've received. Never happened in my life. No, it's, it's, it's, it sounds that way, definitely. And I, I, I also have never once seen a recasted, um, a recasted, um, a recasted thunderhawk. and then seen a room full of people think that the forge world one

was the recasted one because the quality was worse. I've never seen that ever. That definitely hasn't happened. Which, you know, says a lot for that particular... You know, well, actually, I can't do speaking of resin yet because I know right now we're going into aircraft, but eventually we'll talk about that resin aircraft. Oh, yeah.

But I'm assuming we have two aircraft and then two... two aircraft and then two aircraft. You are 100% correct. Yes, there's, well, technically, technically there's a couple of different things. So there is two kind of chassis going on. So we have the Tiger Shark Bomber, which is an amazing name, and the Barracuda, which is also an amazing name. This is where we get fully into the, let's just name,

everything after fish thing. Big, that looks kind of like the manta. Well, this is the thing. These are relatively sensibly sized, I believe. These are things that can fit on a dining room table. Yes, these

are playable by, you know, normal sized humans. So that's, and these are two of the towers, like, one of them is a bomber, so the tiger shark is all about all about bombing and the barracuda is like an air superiority thing.

Kind of the equivalent to like the sort of, like the equivalent to like the thunderbolt or the lightning from the Imperial Navy and the Space Marines, both kind of based on similar chassis. But then there's also just the standard plastic stuff in the form of the Razor Shark and the Sunshark bomber, which just starts. standard 40K you know

Games Workshop model is not Forge World the other two are forward or were in Aaron Ortaicot Imperialis

until they scrapped that game from what I can tell Um just looks like a flying devilfish That's dead About you're not

entirely wrong You're replaced the big back engines with wings And whatever is that strange stabilizing rail they decide to put on it, which really throws me off. I was going to say, why is that there? Do you really need that?

My fair theory is that that wasn't meant to be there, but for whatever reason, it just was a bit flimsy without it, so they just stuck them on. Oh, yeah, like maybe the backings were breaking too much or something. Like, I don't know why else you'd do it, because without that

weird rail, it's a weird design, it looks, but it's also, you know, not that similar from what you see on just normal aircraft, you know, big wings up front, small at the back. Maybe because it wouldn't sit on the table, right? Because, like, if that wasn't there, it would kind of just, like, flop backwards because it's elevated up a little bit.

But if that's there, it can just kind of sit flat on the table without, like, clunking over. But these are on flight stands. So even then. Oh, well. As long as you've got a cross-section flight stand, that shouldn't affect, just, again, a weird choice. It stands with the, uh, with the storm surge of not giving it arms, where it's like, yeah, but why is that there or in the Storm's such case not there?

I don't think they're bad necessarily looking, but the big stabilising beams just look really out of place and like they don't need to be there. But yeah, I guess so like the Razor Shark is the kind of strike fight and the kind of interceptor, and the Sunshark is the bomber, which is the one with the missile pod on it. sticking out the top, which, again, it just, I don't know, they're not bad, but they're not the most iconic tower designs ever, I think it's fair to say.

But they're fine. They're fine. They do the job. Yeah, they're not offensive, but they're not amazing. They're fine. Yeah. However, we do have two other aerial vehicles that the tower have got, which there's the chunky and then the, the even chunkier.

So first up is the orca drop ship. That thing is so funny. It's so... It's so thick. Yeah. It's... I don't know why they might

decided to just make it super... Just super wide. But also like... I keep wanting to say fat, but I don't think that's the right word. It's just... It looks like a... Even by the standards of 40K,

It's a brick. It's just a big brick. Yeah, it looks like a block of cheese. Yeah, it looks like a big thing of cheddar. It's a big old block of cheddar. It's like, it's just, it's so, like, yeah, it is, it's a, yeah, it's a brick. It feels like it should belong in the guard. Yeah. Yeah, it's slightly, like, they took a brick and then they just rounded out the edges and went, yeah, that'll do.

Great. Yeah, it looks like a, like a, that's definitely tau. Looks like a droid transport from the, uh, prequel trilogy in Star Wars. It does. It really does. Yeah. Yeah. And the thing is, when you look at it next to, like, the barracuda and the razor shark and all the other vehicles they have, it's like, what is this?

Why did you make it? I kind of, it has, it's one of those ones where I love it because it's not great. It's one of those ones where I can point and go, and then if you want something absolutely just off the wall, silly, why did they do this? This is a great example of that because look at it. Whose idea was this? The cheese bus.

The cheese bus. I like this. I like this statement. This is a good one. Make a shirt, Bricky. Make a cheese bus shirt, please. The cheese bus. And then you drop the fish.

Oh, damn. That looks really cool. Oh yeah, that does look really cool. So this is like, it's like 24. 24, like, tau-sized lads, so either fire warriors or crout can fit in there, along with a, like, command deck, and there's a rack for drones as well. There's eight of those. You can also put crisis battlesuits and broadsides in there,

but you can only have six battle, like, crisis suits, and three broadsides, if you remember right. You can technically shove two of the, two of the Tetras that we saw earlier into one of these as well. That's a thing that could be done. So, you know, it's, like, transport capacity wise, it's pretty good. It's, it's just weirdly like a block of cheese for a faction where nothing else looks like a block of cheese. It doesn't look like something you would use in the tabletop, like, with how, like, because Shai showed a picture of, like, the inside and all the details. It looks like it was made more to be like a kid's play set. Or, like, the outside doesn't matter, but it's like, oh, take the lid off and, oh, wow, look at all the cool little things to play with.

You know what? I kind of understand it. I kind of see it, yeah. It also doesn't help that, like, the photos are from a while ago. Like, I don't believe that is for sale, and I don't think it's been for sale for quite some time. The Orca, I'm pretty sure that's been gone for a while now. So I think it might be a case of, oh, we took these on the best cameras we had. but that was in 2001.

So, but yeah, the Orca, not the best tower-related aircraft they've ever released. Not the best one. They've definitely, they've definitely done better. And by better, I mean

more ridiculous and silly. So we've got to talk about to finish the Manta. Ah, the man, I knew this had to come up at some point. For reference, for reference, that's a bane blade beneath it. Yeah, yeah. I found this picture specifically to show the scale of this thing, because to this day, I don't know why they made this. I love that they do, right?

I love that this exists. It's incredible that they decided to make this. but oh my God, it's so absurdly big. Like, that's a bane blade underneath. That's a Thunderhawk next to it. Like, the sheer... Oh, God, just the sheer size of it. And because it's Forge World, it being, you know, it being resin,

I mean, I don't ever want to put one of those together, ever. Just that's a flat no for me. I believe Demecky has one. Oh, that's right. I think you, yeah, yeah. I remember hearing you guys talk about it. He hasn't put it together yet, but yeah. What, you mean it's not just two really big, like, pieces that you just glue together?

Yeah, right? You would assume. It's just hollow on the inside. Very cheap, very cheap. It's absolutely insane. Like, just as models go, it's, it is just mad that they even made it. Because this has been around for a long, long time, this model. It's like, it's pretty, it's pretty old.

I can't remember what year it first showed up. It was fairly early on in, I want to say, the first mention of it was in Codex Tau, which was in third edition. But I think it might have been, yeah, okay, so Imperial Armor Volume 3. Whatever year that was, I think is when this came out. So, 2005? Does the Manta have rules, or is it just like purely a non-game just paid? Oh, no, it's got rules. Oh, it's got rules.

How many points is a Manta? 2,100. Yes, so it's more than an army. Yes, so you're playing a standard game. You cannot field it in a regular game. I'm a little upset with you Games Workshop. I would have liked it if you brought it down to exactly 2000. You just roll one man.

Well, I mean, like, you would automatically lose because it can't hold objectives. Yeah, or anything because it's the only unit. Yeah, but like, I also love Aircast Colossus rule. When you use a stratagem on this unit, you must pay triple the cost. Because it is a Manta. Yeah, yeah. But this model is equipped with two heavy rail canons, six ion canons, two long barrel burst canada rays, two missile pods,

10 secret missiles, and it's armored whole. Mind you, the two long barrel burst cannon arrays are 32 shots each. So it is 62 shots with that. The two rail cannons, six ion cannons, which is D6 plus three shots, two missile pods, 10 seeker missiles, and it can contain a capacity of 200 tau infantry, four devilfish, skyray gunships or hammerheads, as well as eight battle suits

with a wound characteristic of nine or less. Wow. Love it. Yeah, that's a big boy. That is a chunky thing. Real chunky. And the upside is as well that if you aren't having a game

where you can spare 2,100 points for the transport, you can just have a game of kill team on and in it. So that's like... Really? You could totally do it. You could absolutely do it if you wanted to.

You might not want to, but you can. It's hilarious though. Oh, God, it's, it's ridiculous. It's absurd. I love that they did it. It's a depth is ridiculous. I will say if anyone, if anyone listening is like, you know what? Actually, I would love to have a 4,000 point game of 40K using My Manta and a full army contained within.

then expenditure-wise, you are looking at a mere $1,950 or 1,260 pounds. So, you know, it's not, it's not... It's not inexpensive. It's not the most expensive thing. No, wait, I think it might be. I don't think the warlord actually comes up to the mantie yet, does it? Oh, no, no, the warlord is... The warlord is past that now.

It's past that. The warlord is way past that. Warlord ties, it is like 6,000 points. I think I was thinking Reaver in terms of, in terms of cash cost, but I just quickly had to look at the warlord, and it's $1,800 for the body. So, yeah. Shia says, whoever buys it and paints it and everything inside, you have my respect because it weighs 28 pounds.

Yeah. Cheese. Yeah, miniature. Minnie. as much as an actual child. Can you imagine what, more than a child? It's like,

that's like twins. That's like twins or triplets. Can you imagine what like... In like, if you were like canon in the 40K world and one of these actually was flying towards your destination, it would blot out the sun.

Like, it would just cloud out the sky. Oh, I love it. I love it. And the thing is When this was introduced as well Like Tau were relatively new Like this wasn't something where there'd been like

Decades of Goodwill or like Oh there's there's so much law talking about this And now we're finally releasing it It was it was not like in the grand scheme of the game And of the like The kind of grand history of Like 40K as a franchise as like as a story, like an ongoing story with the law and the various books and stuff,

it really didn't have much to go on in terms of just releasing this 28 pounds of resin. Like it wasn't like the people are clamouring for a dining room table that's also a miniature. We have to do it. I remember distinctly at the time a whole bunch of people including me being like, why? It is the dining room table. Also, where would you even land this thing? Oh, you just land wherever you like.

It would just crush anything it lands on. So it just flanns. That's not the point. The point is that you've reached the point, you've reached the point where it's not about where do you land this? It's where can't you land this. I mean, that, that picture that I put in of the red manta with the Bainblade underneath, you land it on the enemy's deployment zone

and then there is no more enemy no more deployment zone yeah it's gone what are you going to do I found a Warhammer Reddit post was like hey man's rounders why wow whichever earthcast guy designed must have been the summer intern you can't deploy the infantry in vehicles at the same time since the infantry ramp blocks the garage door

the vehicles themselves have to back out have fun disembarking under fire with all your guns pointed away from the enemy and your weak of rear armor pointed towards them, either that, or let the crazy, expensive drop ship, absorb all that incoming fire while it's helpless. Also, those pilots can't even leave the cockpit. Hope their seats double as toilets.

Oh, well... See... Again, hey, realism. Why are we inserting realism? It's during these times. It's during these times where I like to flex as a guard fan, as I present to you the 9th edition Codex cover of the Imperial Guard,

as you can see in the background, the enormous drop ships spilling an unfathable amount of troops coming out of both sides of these things. And you know what? God bless. It is just vomiting out troops, yeah.

It is just a sea of bodies coming out of these cathedrals in space. And the damn blue boys can have to reverse out of the, The transport. That's crazy. Oh, my God. You know that old, that old Thor Ragnarok thing where it's like, you can't hope to defeat me?

I know, but he can. It's like one million guardsmen. I know, but he can. 30 million more guardsmen. I mean, hey, that's how the guard would roll. That's not untrue. Indeed. Indeed.

Indeed. That, I'm afraid, is the last towel vehicle for now. I mean, who knows what we're doing in future. But, you know, maybe they'll release a bigger version of the Manta. When we get the Manta and plastic, that's what I want to know. I was going to say I'd buy that. I wouldn't. Where would I even put it?

Buy a house for your... Yeah, it can be the awning for your house. Yeah, I'm going to use it as a new roof. It's fine. Use it as a shade from the harsh sun. So I think we can all agree with the suits. the best. I think it's fair to say that the

just the towel suits overall are basically the best part of the faction. Yeah, definitely. But you have to admire the ambition of things like the orca and the mantar. You have to recognize that someone had an idea and they followed through

unquestionably and without compromise, apparently. Yeah. This is crazy. Ambitious, yes, but yeah, the suits are better. Way better. So, yeah, Bricky, how about it? I mean, you know, like, at this point, I've had so much fish.

I just... I've had so much fish. What do I even do now? Well, you could end the episode. Oh, is that what I'm supposed to do right now? I think so. I mean, we don't have any more suits. I don't, unless you got anything... Earth shattering to say?

I will add one more thing on just to round everything out. Earth shatter. I barely hear. There is like a start block for the Manta and there is something that I love at the bottom of it. And I don't know if this is on the official one or whether it's just on this page.

But under summary, it says also a small space. And I don't know whether they're talking about in universe or the actual model itself. I assume in universe it would be considered a small spacecraft because that's obviously too small to be a full-on spacecraft. You throw something hard enough, you never know what might happen. I'm just saying. That is fair, but like I play my rogue trader. and when my game involves having to worry about the 20,000 lower deck rabble that are that are being a problem while the Tau drop ship is having hammerheads back out with reverse lights. I'm just like, you know, I sure do love being human.

The rallying cry of the troops coming out of the mantis, just like the sound of like the, the, the, the sound of like the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. backup beep to beep, beep, beep, beep, yeah, it's just that, nothing else. We're coming back, everybody, get out of the way. All right, well, Kiryoth, thanks for teaching us about blue. Wow, really. Thank you for the blue tutorial there, Kirioth.

We managed to go almost the whole way through without, like, just the word blue coming up as reference to Tao outside of that one picture, but right at the end. We mainly did it. We mainly did fish jokes, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And cheese jokes.

And, well, there's also the, yeah, you know what? I'm going to go, I'm going to go to the market and get a block of fucking cheddar so I can field it on the battlefield. Well, you need to get a couple little ones to make the engines too. Yeah. Don't forget that part. Also true. All right. Thanks for stopping by and being a fan.

I'm going to go shit myself.