Adeptus Ridiculous - THE EMPEROR IS DEAD, I CALL DIBS ON HIS STUFF | Warhammer 40k Lore

Episode Date: April 10, 2024

https://www.patreon.com/AdeptusRidiculoushttps://www.adeptusridiculous.com/https://twitter.com/AdRidiculoushttps://orchideight.com/collections/adeptus-ridiculousDiscussion about Emperor's Armor and Equipment. The One True Armour is a suit of Power Armour commonly seen worn by the Emperor during the Great Crusade and Horus Heresy.Always depicted as golden, after his wounding by Horus during the Siege of Terra it is said that the Emperor's armour was removed and melted down at his own order in order to create badges to honour the Imperial Fists Terminators that had fought beside him.The Emperor's Sword is a giant flame-covered blade that the Emperor created by using both his mastery of science and Warpcraft.Due to the nature of its creation, the Sword is anathema to the forces of Chaos and only the most powerful of Daemons can resist being destroyed by its mere touch. The Emperor's Lightning Claw is an as of yet unnamed Lightning Claw that was usually seen on the Emperor's left hand during the Great Crusade and Horus Heresy.The Emperor's Bolter was a as-of-yet unnamed Boltgun which was a personal weapon of the Emperor. One of the very first Boltguns, it was a progenitor all for its kind.The Emperor's Shield was once the personal shield of the Emperor, but it is now being wielded by the reborn Primarch Lion El'Jonson in M42.The Apollonian Spear was crafted alongside its sister the Dionysian Spear by the Emperor's own hand, deep inside his first underground fortress on Terra during the Age of Strife.Support the show

to another episode of the Adeptus Ridiculous podcast. My name is D.K. Diamante's. His name is Bricky. I'm about to get the quote wrong. But before I do, if you enjoy today's episode and maybe you want to support the podcast, heading over to patreon.com slash Adeptus Ridiculous where you can get access to the Discord, bloopers if they happen, $15 tier, bam, posters, galore, HD Digital Format, Pristine, D.B. Cooper, buy it.

bricky stuff. Shy currently is disintegrated and is currently dead because her boiler exploded so she's currently a red stain on a wall but god damn does that game trailer look good.

It looks really good. I've seen a few clipies of it. It's you know, yeah, yep, yep, yep, augury point. Can you wish listed on? I would assume you can wish listed on Steam. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, do it.

Indeed. Do it. Buy some merch, wish list some games. Hell yeah, brother. So, you're ready for your quote. No, no, I'm not, but whatever. Let me go ahead and embarrass myself. Yeah, I know.

Yeah, all right. This is the sword of the emperor, the great foe of chaos. It has laid low thousands of your kind. You shall be, but in addition to the tally. Said by Lord Commander Robute Giliman to the demon Quaramar. Hmm. Um, so it, so that, that quote's just about the sword that he was gifted by the emperor and he's going to kill some chaos stuff? That's what the quote says.

That doesn't seem like I should, anything I should. anything I should like it seems like everything has been said. I don't, I'm not entirely sure what I'm supposed to guess here. Well, then what do you think the episode's about? Rabutei Gilliman being a boring dork. Is that your final answer? I guess. I, you know, if I told you the episode was like about the sword of the emperor,

which you feel stupid. Yep. Yeah. Yep, I sure would. My friend, I hope you're sitting down because. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, you haven't said anything yet.

My guess is this is an episode on the Sword of the Emperor. I'm sorry, sir, you already gave your final answer. No, I didn't. I never confirmed that. I said maybe. You said, I might guess that. Maybe. I never locked it in.

Sword of the Emperor. I'm right. Hooray, wow, Big Dub, D.K. Put it in the live chat if you're listening to the premiere. Big Dubs D. That's what they call me. Oh, actually. B, B, D. Big, big D.

Wait. Nope, that's not the right abbreviation. Big D. No, no, okay, so we're half right. So, okay, so, you know, I was trying to, I mean, I won't lie. I was trying to trick you. And you did, you son of them. I did, I did.

Because here's the thing, right? You're like, all right, you do, this is the sword of the emperor. And then you're like, there's no way the episode is just the sword of the emperor. That's stupid. Yeah. That's exactly what I thought. Yeah, but the episode is actually kind of about that. We're talking about the emperor's lost weapons and gear, the old stuff from Biggie himself.

Because do you remember what GW may, I don't remember if actually GW said it or if they alluded to it or whatever it is about the returning primarks? Um, nope. Um, other than at some, all, all I know is like people keep saying, oh, yeah, they said at some point every primark is coming back. Wow. How is sanguineous and fairest man is going to come back when they shouldn't. Okay, maybe, okay, there is that part and that we will get to that. Um, but I believe there was, either there was a statement or maybe I'm mandelaing it really hard right now that. That, all of the returning primarks, at least in the loyalist side, will have some piece of the emperor's gear originally with them. I feel like you did mention this at some point. This sounds familiar. I don't know if it's actually true. Like, I don't know if Games Workshop actually said that,

or if maybe people theorized it so much that it became Mandelaed into my brain and now I think it's real. So if every primark comes back and they all have a piece of the emperor, Are they going to revive Big E? Please don't revive Big E. GW. Please don't. Well, it'd be kind of funny because they revive Big E

and he has like no gear. He's just like naked. That would be funny. Although I guess he's kind of sort of like inhabiting Robute Gilliman at points, right? So that kind of goes along with a little bit of the stuff that the emperor has. I mean, the emperor should never, ever,

ever, ever be revived because that kind of destroys the entire point of 40K lore. and the entire idea of this martyred character that made the Imperium to this xenophobic, awful regime. He would light the Imperium up. Like, if Biggie was revived, he would light Terra up himself.

He would burn terror to the ground himself so he could start all over again because whoopsies, I did a big gee-wucky. I mean, he wouldn't because then humanity would just die. But he would definitely, like, you know, He wouldn't be, he's not the most stoked currently, no, he's not happy. He would go scorched earth, literally. I don't know.

I mean, Gilliman wanted to do that, but Gilliman realized the importance of a functioning regime is sometimes better than a functioning nice regime. True, but Biggie is quite a few steps above Robute. Robute Gilliman only did it because he couldn't. I mean, Biggie is kind of like, you know, he's not mid-E. he's biggie he is big e well currently he's skinny e

um well he's currently no skiny that too he's currently quite skinny yeah being that he is just bones but he's also I don't know I mean he like got you got hurt really bad in that fight with drachnion

back in like Mastermanca well okay big he is written like like space marines yeah like completely inconsistently all the time depends on the author sometimes he can like full throttle one hit chaos god other times drachnir whatever gives him problems

it yeah yeah it's hard to trust the book scaling but regardless I'm I am very much hoping that biggie never ever comes back alive and he will maybe occasionally do weird shenanigans with the psychic stuff and talk to people like in lion's son of the forest but besides that you know I want him being on that throne is kind of the whole setting

and so we should keep it Yeah, that said, there was the possibility that all of the returning primarks, because they said that they do want to bring back all the primarks, will have one of Big E's fancy fancy artifice, one of his fancy tools of some sort. And so I thought we kind of kind of like goes, it's a bit of a theory crafting video. It's a bit of like, what do we think is going to happen, you know? Okay, okay. Like what pieces of Biggie are they going to bring back with him? And to which Primark? But so currently, of course, on the loyalist side, we have two returning primarks.

We have Bobby G. himself. And we have... He's fine. Shut up. And we have Lionel Johnson. Yay! Yay!

Woo! Wait, no, he's not Space Wolf. Sorry. No, he's not Space Wolf. But he's very cool. And the book is great. It is. And so we have so far, two of the emperor's items have returned to us. We have the emperor's sword named the emperor's sword. Clever. I know. And we also have the emperor's shield. The emperor's shield is a funny, a funny item because it kind of continues with the whole concept of nobody knows how to properly scale the emperor for size and what the hell he is.

because I mean, you know, that's Lionel Johnson. Huge guy, Primark. Huge, yeah. Shield there.

I mean, you know, chunky shield, pretty big, right? Yeah, but not what you'd expect Biggie to have.

You'd expect Biggie to have like a tower shield. Right, right. So, um, can you find the Emperor Shield in this photo? Uh, uh,

uh, nope. Look harder. Right. Um, hold on, let me, let me, let me open it in the browser and get a full, um, oh my God, is it his paldron? No way! The tilt shield. That little itty bitty thing? Yeah. What? It's called a tilt shield. Yes, sir. And that's supposedly what Lionel Johnson has? I know. Like, you're, you're looking at the lion and you're like comparing him holding the shield with Biggie right there. And he's like the size of his like thigh.

Wow. No, Lionel's not even the, he's like the size of maybe his shoulder. So maybe. So let's, so in classic 40K world, we have to assume that, because this artwork is from like John Blanche. I'm pretty sure from like. Great art. Yeah. It's like the most iconic 40K artwork there.

It probably came out before I was born. Things were a little different at the time. you know, I got to give him a little bit of a benefit of the doubt. And by that scale, Bobby G. Sword should be a lot bigger. Right. It should be bigger than him. It should be like Buster Sword, berserk, dragon slayer size by comparison. Right.

You look at that and then you kind of see, you know, you kind of see a little bit of the scaling problem we have here. A little bit. Just a little bit. There's also, but there's also like other artwork. Like here's a really famous one with the emperor and his custodies. And he's just like slightly larger than the custodies and the tilt shield is a lot.

It's actually like too small in this situation. Also, he looks creepy in that picture. Like he looks like undead Jesus in that picture. I mean, I feel like that's kind of his vibe, isn't it? I guess, but I don't know. That one creeps me out. Like, he looks haunted. It's just some weird stuff.

I guess he does kind of have a crown of thorns, doesn't he? Anyway, point being, we shouldn't take it too particularly seriously. Yeah. The emperor probably could have just turned it into a normal shield through warp shenanigans because lion was going through the forest and all that kind of jazz and weirdness. Tilt shields are a common thing. Like these knights, you'll see the tilt shield is the little paldron shield on like the chest. Yeah.

Is that literally just for decoration? because obviously, like, it's not going to give you any sort of protection, is it? I thought a tilt shield was more accurately, like, I think it's mostly, it's mostly decor, or decorative. Yeah, it looks like it's just to display, like, what house you are, what honors you have and stuff like that, not real, because, like, you've already got armor underneath that, so. I feel like a tilt, no, I'm probably just being stupid. I thought that maybe...

Over, like, your heart and it's like, oh, well, there's some extra protection for, you know, vital organs, maybe. But it's like,

when it's over on the shoulder like that, it's like, eh, that's gotta be just like house heraldry. I, it's mostly house heraldry

for the knights. Like, I imagine it was, uh, oh, wait, wait, hold on,

I just scrolled this through. Um, this is called a tilting shield. It was originally used in jousting to defusting to deflect the incoming lance off to the side. Oh. And then everyone else...

Because then you wouldn't get a clean strike. But then literally everyone else here says that it's just for decoration. But I can't tell if they're referring to the 40K version of it or a real-life version of it. But I am seeing old school armor that does have this... It doesn't look like that. It's a bit more like blending into the armor. Yeah. But I'm a...

Like here, here's a, for example, here's a piece of armor. Like, there's like a tilt shield there. The way it might go, bling, you know. The only reason it suddenly made sense to me is because I thought of the movie A Knight's Tale, where it's all about that, the peasant that rises up and becomes a jousting champion. And they had those really big, well, tilt shields, I suppose. And yeah, you don't want to let him get a clean hit. So it just kind of deflects off your shoulder.

Is a Knight's Tale the Matt Damon and Adam Driver one? No, it's the Heath Ledger one. Oh, darn. I think I've seen that. With all the rock music in it. Well, they didn't have rock back then. But anyway. No, they had rocks.

Throw them all the time. Oh, that was good. All right. Plus two. Get shit on loser. But anyway, so currently the ones that we have out in about are the Emperor's Shield and the Emperor's Sword. The Emperor Shield doesn't have like a ton of lore at the moment.

It's just his Tilt Shield. but for the most part, as we saw in the Arks of Omen books, like the Lyme is able to kind of use the blast that he blocks with the shield to kind of blow back at the opponent. So like Angron would smash the shield and then it would kind of like discharge back outwards, you know?

Which is pretty poggers, especially if you're fighting someone like Angron. Especially if you're fighting someone like Angron who just doesn't want to stop attacking. Nope. And like in game, for example, it would, well, back in the day, it would make it harder to hurt the lion. But now basically when you save some saves,

if you roll like sixes, it does damage back. So it's kind of fun, you know? That's a neat concept. The Emperor's sword is a gigantic flame sword. That is not real fire, by the way. That is psychic fire, basically. Ah. It is supposed to contain either like a fragment of the Emperor's soul

or something about him in the sword so that the idea is that it's not just like a good sword that can be lit with psychic fire, but it is a true death for demons. You kill a demon with the sword. And they don't go back to the warp. They don't revive. They just, pf.

Yeah, it's straight up. It does what it did to Horace back then. Like, you are gone, gone. Oh, okay. So very potent sword that all of chaos should be afraid of. Chaos is genuinely terrified of this sword. It is, because it's, you know, because chaos doesn't care. Like, oh, whatever, I'll just come back, like a demon.

But when they see this, it's like, oh, God. Oh, God, that's real death. Like, that's, I better be sure I can kill him because, yeesh. You are not standing up from that. Nope, you're not coming back from that one. Gilliman has said that sometimes he feels like the Biggie's presence whenever he holds the sword, which is probably why maybe he was, like, taken over that one time. Because he can kind of, like, there's a little bit of a biggie there still.

Yeah, yeah. But, you know, for the most part, not to go too deep into it, it's a gigantic flaming sword that true death's demons. And that's awesome. Naturally, like, if it has part of Biggie in it, it should be just an absolute demon killer. Right. Makes sense. Makes sense. So there's also something they call the one true armor.

The one true armor is just Biggie's armor. It's this full armor, you know, I guess outside the tilt shield for the most part. And who can wear that big set of armor, right? Yeah, it's just the idea that like, just looking at a scale ratio of that image and the lion is so funny. Like, you'd almost have to Voltron all the primarks together to actually wear that. The lion is like the size of like the Biggie's head. It's just so ridiculous. If someone could actually draw all of the primarks Voltron together, that would be great, by the way.

I don't know. To fit them in different parts of the emperor's armor. Yeah, yeah. all formed the head and it's just lying just tunk. Um, but anyway, this might surprise you, but the big, B's armor itself has actually been ground down

and melted, uh, by the, it's order to create badges of honor. Uh, these are called, uh, crux terminatus. These are actually fancy badges that are worn on the sides of Terminator armor. Um, and

for the most part, it's on the, like, the left shoulder. This is supposed to have like, little fragments of the, of Big E's armor as part of it. And it's mainly meant to be a, it's a symbolic thing because, you know, 40K has gotten a bit, a bit stoked with worshiping the emperor. And so, you know,

it's just a little bit. That's got to be like the highest honor you can get, though, because that's a piece of Big E. Like, there is a finite amount of, although with how big he is, one of his gauntlets could probably decorate a planet. Um,

but still, that's got to be like the high. highest honor you could wear on yourself. The, having it on like Terminator captains and stuff like that. I mean, being a Terminator captain is kind of a huge deal. That's a big deal,

yeah. Yeah, you know, you're pretty high up in the ranks of your Space Marine chapter with that. But it's also why they're so frightened to lose Terminator armor. Just also not- You're losing a piece of Biggie. You're losing a piece of the emperor and you're,

like, you're actually failing the emperor, which is why Terminators are, despite being able to run so many of them at tabletop. They're not a particularly like common thing. They're pretty insane. I'm kind of shocked that they melt down any of Biggie's armor. You'd think they would want to keep that in almost as pristine a fashion as they possibly could

and like literally have servitors like polishing it and keeping it in pristine condition at all times because God save the emperor. He's the one true God or something. So I think the same thing, but like, I don't know, maybe I'm splitting hairs a little bit, but imagine if like Taylor Swift took a lock of her hair and just chucked it in the crowd. Like there will be no reverence, there will be blood. I like how the 2024-pilled notion is like, oh, yes, entire swathes of humanity, worshipping biggie as a god is comparable in our world as,

what if you got a lock of hair from Taylor Swift? I mean more in the sense of like there is no reverence, there's no protection. Everyone needs a piece. Everyone wants a bit of it, you know? What, you mean Taylor Swift's hair won't grant me godhood? Well, I mean, have you ever owned any of Taylor Swift's hair? No, I haven't. Well, then you don't know.

Oh, that's true. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Well, yeah. Got to call Travis Kelsey and figure it out. Yep. Is that the football player? Yeah, it's the football player. Okay. I love that image of him yelling at the coach.

He almost knocked him over. Like, he pushed him, too. Like, he almost tumbled like a ton of bricks. Because Travis Kelsey's not a small man. You don't get to do that, though. You don't get to yell at the coach like that. What the hell? Well, when you are one of the star players that helps bring, like, three Super Bowls to the city, you get a little leeway. Yeah. Get a little leeway. Anyway. Yeah, yeah. This is not a football player.

podcast. No, but we are spiking it soon. Hey! All right, so anyway, here the other, so for the most parts that we are, well, that I'm aware of, that have articles and that I remember so far in the lore, there are four other major bits and pieces that are involving the emperor's war gear. We have the emperor's claw, bolter spear, and the spear of Russ. Well, Yeah, I guess it's the two spires. He has two different spears? Okay, so there's the Apollonian spear and the spear of Russ. The Apollonian spear is, was made at the same time as the Dionysian spear.

Dynician spear is the spear of Russ. There's two spears. Constantine Valdor wields the Apollonian spear. Okay. You know who Valder is, right? Well, like, I'm still trying to wrap my head around why there are two spears. to be like was he just dual wielding spears, bolters and he just had two spears on his back,

shooting people, people come up to him and then he just starts dual wielding them. No, no. And then one was given to Russ and one was given to Valdoor. Like what? I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm a little twisty tourney. What? No, sir, no. It's there, he made, he made the Apollonian spear

along with the Dionysian spear. These are two spears the emperor made. He did not like use. Oh, okay. But they're important parts of the emperor's, like, you know, like the things he made. Like, you have a piece of the emperor when he come back. Okay. See, I thought this was all like, oh, this is the emperor's.

Okay, so he just made this. Okay, gotcha. All right, cool. Dual wielding spears is cool, though, all right? You can't tell me it wouldn't be cool to see Biggie just, like, spinning these spears around and just javelining demons out of the sky. I'm pretty goddamn sure Argel Tall did literally that. And we love Argyltal, don't we?

We, uh, you know, you know how, how they say, they say, uh, you know, when you start playing Warhammer, you're like, ha, ha, ha, fuck Aravus. And then when you get really into Warhammer, you're like, bro, fuck Arabis. Fuck Archerabas. Archil Tull deserves so much better. What the, what the, what, what, I love Argyl Tull Tulls. So much. Anyway, anyway, it still makes me so mad. It, it's, it's a sad day.

But anywho, all that aside. Yes, so there's the other two spears, the Apollonian spear, and then the Dionysian spear, the spear of Rust, the Emperor's Bolton, the Emperor's Lightning Claw. So the Spear of Rust. Do you remember the Spear of Rust from the Lehman Russ episode? Got to be honest, I do not. I just remember where he out drank and out ate the Emperor.

Which is the best thing to remember, and that's okay. Oh, Jesus. Woof, whoo, who. So the Spear of Russ is, in fact, the spear that, did you remember the part where when you stab someone with the spirit reveals their truth and everything and he tried to fight Horace and stab him to like

pull out the real like knowledge and make sure and like fix him Oh yeah yeah yeah his pullout game was strong Man couldn't pull out of a driveway See how many sons Lehman Russ has? That's true That's true I guess yeah fair enough

All right So it's the Dionysian sphere We call it Dionysian spear Because you know Space Wolf's etc. Or the wolf spear, spear of rust, you know, wielded by Lehman Russ. I think this is a shoeing. Clearly, Lehman Russ, whenever he comes back, is going to be rolling with this spear. I don't know, man. I don't know. Are you sure the spear of Russ is going to be wielded by Russ? I think the Khan is going to have it,

clearly, because it just seems so much more fitting that the Khan have the spear of Russ, right? Well, what a wonderful question. What kind of thing do we think the Khan? have if we're going to be dicks about it. Honestly, I could see the con has, because you said there's a, he has a claw. Does he have like a power fist or a claw or something like that? He has, he has lightning claws, yes. I could see Khan getting that. I could see Khan with a fist.

Just because like he's like, he's fast, he does a lot of up close combat and boom, boom, boom, claws him and, you know, white scar. Why do you think that he would get the claw, though? So, okay, so here are the primarks that we need to return, right? We've got, we got Russ, which is clearly going to be spear of Russ, that one, that was a shoe-in, makes sense, thematically, et cetera, et cetera, all good. So we've got, we got Dorn, we've got the Khan, we've got Vulcan, we've got Korax, and I think I'm missing someone, and I feel bad about missing them because. So I'm going to skip Ferris and Sanguineas.

I'm going to skip them. Fair enough. I don't think it's fair. You know. It's not Ferris. I can't stand you. I live for those reactions. God damn you.

What a beautiful day. What a beautiful day. Ferris and sanguinius are gum. We have the lion and Robute are back. So yeah, it's Con, Russ, Dorn, Vulcan Yeah, and Korax. Okay, I'm done.

I guess it would make more sense for Korax to get the claws, huh? It would. I feel like, you know, you can think of it that way. If Korax is his weird, mutated, demon version, bird,

you think that he could just wear the emperor's claw like normally? Like, it's normal size for him now because he's all giant and freaky. I mean, well, I mean, they're probably going to scale the armor to the, primark, right, in the same way that they

like, you know, scale the sword and the shield. So, I mean, it's probably not going to come back and be like this massive, gauntleted claw, right? Well, I mean, who's to say it's not? I can totally see Korax being this demon bird in one of his hands is this bright golden claw.

That would be sick, actually. I hope that is what happens. Just this giant, crazy bird that has a golden talon. Oh. Oh. I mean, that, it is pretty neat. we have another possibility. And it doesn't sound right because,

okay, so the emperor actually had a bolter back in the day. There's not a lot of people know this and it's kind of like a, well, maybe it's not that people don't know it, but it's just like, it's kind of a lower point. Back in the way old art of GW. What is that?

Is that from like the 1800s? Wow. I wish I actually knew when, when that artwork came out. I only know when it was uploaded, but, you know, this is like... Shortly after the creation of ink, they made this.

So a lot of the old, like, techno-barbarian artwork and, like, re-forging Terra kind of stuff, the Unification Wars, all kind of have this old, like, John Blanche-style artwork. It's all meant to look that way. Because, like, if you literally look up

techno-barbarian, in 40K. You'll often get artwork like this. Very, very much this old school kind of, I don't know, it's almost like tapestry. Yeah, like you'd find it in a history book. Yeah, exactly. So a lot of that stuff looks that way. But the emperor does have a bolter.

It is unnamed for the most part. But it was basically the first bolter. He made the first bolter. It was black and bronze, not a dark age technology. is just the emperor made himself like the first bolter. And, you know, it was just his weapon he used during the unification wars and all that jazz. So there is a... Is there anything special about it or is it just literally the first bolter?

And, hey, Biggie used it. So it's more important than a regular bolter. There are about three sentences worth of lore on this bolter. So for the most part, it's just, it's a bolter. It's the first bolter. Now, but I mean, if we're going to give a bolter to anybody, who do you think is going to get it? Wait, who's left? Vulcan, Khan, Dorn, Khorax, and Russ.

Well, I guess Dorn? It's pretty Dorn-coded. Yeah, it's a bolter. Imperial Fists love their bolters. Okay. Really? But, oh, wait, what, do you, do they learn nothing? It was a long time.

time ago, all right? Do you learn nothing from me? I remember the magic pain glove. Tell me what to do. You haven't even seen the 40K text of speech memes. You haven't even seen them and you remember that? Yes. This is actually wild, dude.

This is actually wild. Yes. Siege fortify like, you know? Fists love their bolters. It's a huge part of all their stuff is bolters. See, I was just testing you to see if you remember. that episode. I knew. That's why I said Dorn should get the bolter, because it was so obvious. I will stab you with the spear of Russ so that I'll reveal your secrets of why you're a shitter.

Hey, look, that is a Pandora's box. You do not want to open, all right? Yeah, I stab. Why is ZK as weird as he is? Don't open that box. That's a can of worms that you can't close. I stab you with the emperor, or with the spear of Russ, and then like, I'm like, oh, God, take it back. Yeah, you don't want that. You don't want that evil, Ricky Bobby. No, put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby. Don't you put that evil on me. That's a reference I get.

I love Taled Hagid Nights. Imagine. Suddenly, Bricky starts reading manga and starts genuinely appreciating anime. Is that what's going to happen when I stabbed with the spear of Russ? Yes.

Yes. Oh, God. Well, your goon time is going to go through the roof. My goon time? Yeah, your goon timer is going to go through the roof, bro. Are you gooning or were you edging, Neiman?

Who's to say it wasn't both? Yeah, nah, never mind. Gedgeing? Edging. Yeah, but when you goon and edge, it'd be like gedging. No, that doesn't, gooning and edging. Googing? All right, you know what?

Rogel Doorn can't goon anymore because he's missing his hand. Ooh, hey, hey, listen, some people can, you know, depends, you know, you can do a lot with a stump. I was going to, I thought you were going with the left-hand concept, but that's fine too. Well, I guess you could, you know. Yeah, the mysterious stranger ability. Yeah. It's fine. Hey, there's one reason and one reason alone. I'm ambidextrous, man. Are you actually ambidextrous? No. It's just a funny name. God damn. Okay. All right. So Doran, though. Doran, most, like,

bolter, kind of the fit for Doran is the bolter, right? Yeah, yeah. So Spear of Russ, we have that, the bolter for Doran. Though, granted, you could argue Lightning claw because you put that on his stump and it's like in replace his arm. Yeah he's missing. Yeah that actually that that would kind of fit. And it fits with all of his golden stuff too so it would

look right on Dorn because he's got all gold armor anyway. You give him a gold claw where his one missing hand is. That would be kind of sick. But Dorn is kind of like the fists are arranged army. They shoot.

They're shooting people. Hmm. You know, it's like if we talk about, like, Percharabo, for example, if when he comes back, we're expecting him to be like a giant, like a obliterator, like with like a ton of missiles and guns on him and stuff. Chaos flesh popping out everywhere. Yeah. And I actually played a game this weekend, like an Apoc game with some buddies.

And one of them was a big fist fan was like, you know, I want Dorn to come back as like an open-topped dreadnought. An open-top means in the game, is transport. And so he's imagining like Dorn as a giant dreadnought. But like all of his sons can like, like as a transport can like get on top of him and like shoot down off of like rafters and stuff on this giant Dreadnoddn thing.

That would be cool. What's an Apoc game? Oh, Apoc apocalypse. Oh, oh, that's like with the one where like the points don't matter. Well, not the points don't matter. But it's just like this massive like bring your Titans, bring your nice, bring all the big stuff you can't normally run. Oh yeah, definitely. It's like, uh, it's basically just like, hey, here's, instead of 2,000 points, it's like $10,000. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So yeah, he was thinking like open top dreadnought Rogel d'or, which is kind of awesome.

I mean, who better to have, who better to turn himself into a shooting platform? I mean, proterabbo, but, you know, they're one and the same. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, they'll hate me for saying that, but they're one and the same. Boy, the comments are going to be so mad at you, dude. They're both. It's the end and the yang. Yeah. But any who, the, uh, yeah. The light of the shadow. The two of them is that.

A corax with this claw seems, seems pretty right, I'd say. Um, and then the, the, the Apollonian spear is, is with Constantine Valdor right now. And I don't really think that spear should necessarily go to anyone else. It's made for a custodian. It's just kind of, just his thing. Yeah. Um, Spear of Russ is probably a shoe-in. It should be.

But knowing GW, they'll give the spear to Korax. They'll give the spear to Korax. The spear of Rust to Korax. They'll give the bolter to Lehman Russ, and then they'll give like, God knows. Well, we'll have Dorn dual-wielding spears and we'll just go off the rails. I mean, dual-wielding Dorn Spears would be kind of cool, but like you said, if they're all about bolters in long range, why in the world would you give him dual spears? I mean, you say it'll be really cool, but like, in just an ironic fashion, like, anyone's, dual wielding spears would be cool.

It's your dual wielding spears. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. There's a part of me that does hope that Dorn gets the, the claw. Because, God, that'd be so cool. If he came back with, like, an eye patch and a gold claw to replace his fist that was lost, man, that'd be really cool. You want that specifically because, just because of the missing hand, right? And just like, get a big spear, or big, big, big. claw for it, I mean. Oh, hell yeah. That'd be so cool. And it would just, it'd be so fitting because it fits the gold armor and, you know, I have a piece of the emperor.

Dorn has the gold claw, which is holding the spear of Russ while firing the bolter in his other hand. Clearly, clearly. Clearly. And then, and then the con comes back and gets nothing. Nothing. Forget him. Whatever. He took it all. He took all of it. Which, speaking of... Can you imagine if they just gave Dorn all of it? Just every single one? All of them. Yep.

He gets all of them. It's like, no, Dorn's coming back with everything. And then Rebuket Gilliman's just like, oh, please, take the sword too. You look so incomplete without it. See, that there. That there is the other question, though. We got two other folks. We got Vulcan and we got the con.

So it's difficult to determine who's going to come back next. because they've hinted on every single one of them. Yeah. You know, Lacan coming back is, makes sense. Rus, Vulcan,

Vulcan can come back whenever the hell he wants. He's on his respawn timer. I can maybe see Korax coming back as an option because Lorgar is out in about now and with Vashdor being the new big bad, you know, you have this chaos is a bit more of a thing.

So like, you know, Lorgar helps Vashdor out or something. And then Korax is like, I'm part of this now. Mm-hmm. Because F. Lorgar.

because of course, fuck Lord of Gar. What do we think the Vulcan would get? Oof. I don't know why, but like, Vulcan seems like he would be a good choice for a spear for some reason.

And I'm not really sure why. Because, like, I don't think, like, the salamanders really have any affinity with spears or anything, but I don't know. It just seems... They do. Or do they?

Yeah, well, don't forget. They're like dragon slayers. Oh! Well, as a I Honest To God, this

Today hurts me DK Like you're forgetting Everything I've taught you And it makes me sad But there's been so much Do you remember the spear of Vulcan That Vulcan

Histan the guy Searching for stuff carries Oh no It's like the fancy artifact That Trazan tried to steal from him Oh boy Oh boy indeed Oh geez

Check out this image in chat. I'm sure you'd appreciate it. Wow. Look at that spear of Vulcan. They're, you know, they're dragon slayers. Spears kind of go with that vibe, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yep. They sure, they sure do.

They sure do. They sure do. So the spear of Vulcan. Oh, boy. The sphere of Vulcan is one of the nine artifacts of Vulcan. I remember you're supposed to find all nine artifacts and when you do, Vulcan comes back. That's the concept.

I remember that part. I didn't remember the spear part. Though, I mean... I feel so stupid. Vulcan probably isn't going to use the spear of Russ, though. Like, you know, that's fine. What? Really?

No. That's fine. It's GW, though. They might. Again, it's GW. They might. No. They might.

They couldn't. Couldn't they? I mean, they could, but like... Bricky? it's GW, couldn't they? Couldn't they? They can't give the spear of rust to Vulcan. They can't.

It is truly unfathomable, and yet. So, okay, this is Vulcan, as we remember. He has that ball or hammer. He sure does. But the emperor doesn't really have a hammer kind of thing. It's not that I'm aware of. I do one, and this is a bit of a stretch, but like, do we think we could give him the emperor's cape?

That's a little strange, but the emperor has that big red flowing cape. And Vulcan has like the cape of like dragon scales. And I can kind of see it being like, oh, I've used the dragon scale cape for such a long time. And like the emperor's cape is forged and the psychic energy and it makes me tanky. I don't know. I just feel like he would look like he's way too Christmas themed if he had a big, bright red cape. With the green armor.

Yeah, he would look like a big old, like, elf or something. Like, ah. Yeah, you're not entirely wrong on that one. But I gotta say, like, I don't want to see him using a spear because he is so hammer-coated. Like, him losing that hammer-coded would be a travesty. I feel like he kind of needs a piece of armor almost. So I was thinking armor too, but the armor's mostly been ground up and melted to do into, you know, stuff.

But don't they have like a paldron left or something, then they can just chuck on him? That's kind of what I was thinking. It's like, what if they just, they reforged? I mean, if anyone's going to forge a piece of armor

from the emperor's stuff, it would be vulcan. Volcan, yeah. He's the blacksmith. Like, that's his whole stick. Yeah. Yeah, he's,

yeah, they use the word forge in like all of his goddamn lore. Yeah, if he came back and he was like, hey, hey, everybody, out of the way. I'm going back. I'm, I'm going underground. I'm getting the emperor's armor. Or at least like, what's left of his leg plate?

And I'm going to form some sick new puldrons for myself. And if he came out with like these just brilliantly blinding gold pardrons on that armor, it'd look right. It would look really good. Or if he forged a new hammer. Maybe. I think his hammer's still chilling for as far as I'm aware. Especially in that picture. God, that hammer looks so sick.

The giant dragon. head thunder hammer. Oh, yeah, that's so sick. And it's so cool. So Vulcan. I do think that like, because Vulcan is the biggest of the primarks. Like you imagine what of his, his stick is to be tanky. Like, okay, we got like, so far we got Gilliamim, who is, who is supposed to be the major

tactician. I mean, they're all tacticians, but like Gilliman more so. I thought you were going to say he's the major tax tition. And I was like, ah, funny, because tax is. Ha ha, ha. Right now especially. Thankfully, I already got my taxes done and... Good, good, good.

I hate it. I hate it. Oh, yeah, it's the worst. It sucks. But, for example, other stuff that we have, like, or Vulcan stuff, sorry, let me roll back. Tactician, Gilman, the lion is like duelist, just one-on-one stabby man. You know, con is speed.

Dorn, we're probably thinking like firepower or firepower or like defense in ways. Yeah, definitely firepower defense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Poster would be, do I say poster? Yes, you did. Oh, my goodness. Maybe you were thinking like the poster child of the emperor would be. I was thinking that, like, the poster boy of like big, thick tanky is, is Vulcan.

Yeah, definitely. I was doing the Coca-Cola thing where like I said the word post. and then chat's like, man, I should buy a poster. You should at Orcatea.com. Cerveza Crystal. I don't get it. You know the Cervisa Crystal meme? Uh-uh.

Shy, can you play the Cervisa Crystal meme? That's all I need. Thank you. Okay. I guess I have a reason to re-watch the episode now. You haven't seen like the Star Wars cut where they like put the Cerva Cricle ads inside of it? Oh, right.

Okay. Where they cut the beer in without going to commercial? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough. Servisa! Yes! Okay, now we're on the same page. Hell yeah. But, you know, Vulcan would crack into a servesa crystal and would specifically be like big tanky boy. So a piece of armor does make sense and forging a piece of armor does, definitely.

Yeah. I don't know about the con though. Yeah, I mean... He, realistically, he should be on a bike. Yeah. Realistically, he could have almost any of the pieces, though, right? Any of the pieces would kind of sort of fit him.

To an extent? I mean, for the most part, the con is just, you know, I mean, he's speed-free con. I mean, I guess you could have him on, um, on, like, foot just because like, I don't know, like it's not, but like a bike just seems right. Yeah, definitely. Um, but I can, I don't know of any, like,

specific weapons I would throw on him. I mean, he could do a spear, and he could kind of be like, sort of like a jousting motorcyclist. I mean, the con does have like, like, Corsero Khan, I think has like a spear. And so they do have some stuff like that. There's also the Emperor's Iron Halo, which we'd ever really talk about. Oh. Though I don't know if Gilliman has that, or if it's just an Iron Halo they gave him that. That's just an iron halo.

But, you know, it's like a force field of kinds. Yeah, and I would assume Big E's is a little more rough and tough than your average halo. You know, the Iron Halo actually might be a thing you'd stick on Vulcan. That would make sense. I was going to say, if the halo still exists, that would be a good one to give to a Vulcan. Because why not? I don't think the emperor, like, made the first ever motorbike in a Harley Davidson emperor thing. Like, I don't think we have that.

He was a real hog, you know? loved his Harley's, so. Cranking that hog. Yep. I don't know about that. Like, everything else is just like the armor for the most part. Yeah. Yeah, it's hard to determine because like the iron halo's there.

Give Con the cape, have it like flow in the wind. Now, con having the cape, that would look good. Con would look good in a big flowing red cape with the white and red armor. Yeah, yeah, it's good. Yeah, white and red armor specifically flowing in the background. Though I do think it would be pretty stupid to give, like, what did you get? The cons cape. Like, oh.

I got the emperors cape. What did you get? I got a shield that's as big as me. It's like, oh. Gilman, what did you get? I got a sword that literally kills demons forevermore. It's like, oh, I got, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a, I got a big red cape. But then like the cape would do something

Of course, yeah You are you like Make him go faster or something Or I don't know Hey the red ones go faster The red ones go faster You're right Wait wait hold on

Have we unlocked Have we unlocked Secret knowledge Of course the con would have the red cape From the emperor Because the red ones go the fastest We've cracked the code Oh we got it

We've cracked the code We did it Can you imagine The con In the episode It's over It's Jover. The con literally has

like aircraft rules for the game. Does he really? No, no. He's on game, but he's not back yet. Oh, that's right. He's not back yet. Why would he have rules?

Of course not. Silly me! Wow, I am on a roll today. Shish! I am on a reverse roll today. I am rolling back down the hill. Who is it Greek mythology that's rolling the boulder

up the hill, I am just rolling it backwards over and over again. Sisyphus? Cicifice, right. Yeah, that's me, except I just keep getting rolled over by the boulder. Wait, hold on, I just thought something even more fantastic. What's that? What if, do you remember the spear of the hydra?

Of course I do. Alpharius's spear, dude. Well, I figured it was Alpharius's and it had something to do with the Alpha Legion, but I don't remember what it does. Oh, he actually had like the alien spear kind of thing. It would make like an ink blot when it would like slice and shit. It was neat.

It makes an ink blot? That's cool. Yeah, no, it's a, where is it? What was this called? It was the, um, the Saracenada, the pale spear. That's right. It was a xenosphere. And it would like flicker in and out of the universe while it.

And yeah, it would rip apart things at molecular level, spraying bloodless wounds as where it struck dissolved into oily, smoke. So here's what we do. Wow. That's so cool. We bring back Omagon on the loyalist side and we give him the spear of Russ. Oof.

Boom. Bada bing. Bada boom. Realist guy in the room. How you doing? Oh, that would be wild. But I can't think of much else that we would be grabbing with the emperor's gear. I mean, spear of Russ, Lehman Russ, that's a shoe in.

Um, Corvus Corax most likely the claw makes sense. Makes sense would be very dope. Thematically, um, the emperor's first bolter would be pretty good for Dorn, though I do like this fan theory idea of him being a big dreadnought. Kind of cool. Yeah, that would be cool if he just came back as a huge ass gold dreadnought. Yeah. Can you imagine like a primark dreadnought? Just like what that would look like.

Oh, can you imagine how chunky that would be? Be a thick boy. Sheesh. Also a gold dreadnought, just in general, sounds dope. Basically, it's like a giant battle tank. Yes. Let's go. Then there's the con, and then there's a, and then there's, um, uh, not wait, con and, uh, and Vulcan.

And then that's a little bit questiony. Can, can, can we go into cursed territory if, and it shouldn't happen, if sanguinius and Farris Manus come back, what would you give them? So I almost feel like the iron halo Might be really cool on Ferris You put the iron halo that normally goes above the head And then it like shines It shines, well, it like shines golden light down

And it like sort of resolves in the shape of a face Oh, it's like the shadow of a head Yeah, like the shadow of a face And like golden light reanimating it kind of vibe Okay I was gonna say that the halo Would look real good on someone like sanguinius, but that sounds way cooler.

And if Ferris Manus comes back and they do that, I'm okay with it. I like, that's an option. Sanguineus, I got nothing, man. I got nothing. Technically, he's another one that, like, he could have anything. Don't put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby. I don't want. You know, you know what?

We'll use the emperor's cape to lay over his face like they lay over a dead body in the street. Oh. Yeah, he doesn't come. back, but we can just lay the cape over his casket. Yeah. Look, he got the emperor's cape over his casket, because he's not coming back, because

he shouldn't. Oh, I love that Halo idea, though, and making just, like, the outline of a of just, like, a sort of looks like Ferris Manus's head or his skull just in, like, gold light. Oh, I really like that. I

really, really like that. That's... There's some vibes. That is a vibe. I like it. I like it. So is that it? I mean, I can't think of any other gear the emperor might bring about. I mean, there's always talks of like the emperor making some item randomly in a Horace heresy book or the emperor's crafted X or Y. But so far we've been using pieces of the emperor's armor, his tilt shield and his sword.

So past that, you know, unless they want to go a little bit, I mean, I guess the spear is not really necessarily like things that he used, but it's still so clearly. He made. Yeah. Yeah. So clearly Russ's thing. So, I don't know. Some interesting options out there. Some questions.

Even if it doesn't fit, it's G.W. They could just retcon something. And they're like, oh, yeah. Under the Golden Throne, there's this other weapon that we never told you about. But he totally made it and used it. And, you know, whatever. And they could literally just make something that fits the Primark perfectly. And just be like, yeah, we just, he's stashed it away with the doomsday devices.

because it's just so good. This is rather funny though because at any point, yeah, like the emperor is so secretive you can make whatever the hell you want. Yeah, he just stashed it, you know, whatever. Only, only a couple people know about it.

And hey, look, here it is. Look, we wrote a book about it too. All right. I mean, that's all I got. For the most part, that's what we're at. That's the little bit of the theory crafting, the questions, the possibilities.

Okay, okay. See what can maybe come back because the emperor's got some wild, wacky, doodle stuff. He does. Well, he's the emperor. He should. He's the emperor.

He should have some crazy stuff, yeah. I think out of anything that happened this entire episode, the one thing that we should really stick on is, oh, my God, if the emperor's tilt shield is that size. He was massive. We need X, Y, Z, dragon, Yu-Gio formation of Primarks to reach the level of the emperor. You need a Voltron together, the primarks. Also, who gets the emperor's hard drive? That's the question.

Oh, oh dear. It hasn't been wiped. It's under there with all the doomsday stuff. It hasn't been wiped. What's on his hard drive? We'll give it to, we'll give it to, we'll give it to, we'll give it to, we'll give to Lionel Johnson. He's the secretive type.

Ah, fair enough, fair enough. All right. My hard drive horrors. It's the least you could do for me. Thanks for listening, everybody. Make sure you wipe your search history.