Adeptus Ridiculous - THE EMPEROR & THE LAST CHURCH | Warhammer 40k Lore

Episode Date: February 2, 2022

https://www.patreon.com/AdeptusRidiculoushttps://www.adeptusridiculous.com/https://twitter.com/AdRidiculoushttps://orchideight.com/https://www.collectiblesquids.com/ code: ADRICSupport the show

Welcome everyone to another episode of the Adeptus Ridiculous Podcast. My name is D.K. Diamantis. My co-host is Mr. 2 and 4 with Night Lords Bricky, and he's going to be telling us a lot of ridiculous stuff about Warhammer 40K today. But before he does, if you enjoyed today's podcast, head over to patreon.com slash Adeptus Ridiculous. And consider supporting us. You get stuff like access to our Discord,

which has a lot of cool emotes and a lot of cool people, behind-the-scenes stuff, blupers if they happen. some really slick HD posters. There's a tyrannid bug female that is very well endowed. Highly recommend. And yeah, we appreciate it. Patreon.com slash Adeptus ridiculous. Bricky, what about?

What about merch and like books and stuff? DK., is the bug well endowed because it has a dick or because large boba? It has large boba. Big anime titty. is, I believe, what they call it on the street. Considering the Tyrann's ability to alter biomass to spit their needs, it could have a penis, D.K. It could, and if it did, I'm sure it would be huge.

It would be enormous. They don't call it the Swarm Lord for no reason. I don't think that's... Okay. Why don't just tell us about what book we're reading and where we can buy some sick adeptus ridding this merch? Oh yeah, twice the King Rain is the next one. Finish it February.

There's ridiculous merch, orchidate.com. Check out the description. The deal is gone. However, the dice are still there. If you want new dice, shirts, hoodies, et cetera, go grab some. And don't forget about our art contest. If you do not know about our art contest, you're drawing an imperial knight along with the pilot.

You can hear more about it on our recent night episode a couple weeks back. Check that one out just in case you need more details. You have until the end of February. You got some real sick entries too. Like they're popping up all over Twitter. You guys are real talented. You guys and girls and non-binary pals are very talented. You folk.

Yep, you folks. You folks. You folks. You guys all encompassing terms. DK. Are you ready for your quote? No, because I know I'm going to fuck it up, even though it's going to be abundantly obvious to everyone.

except me. All right. All right. That makes it pretty easy. Okay, here we go. God is cringe. God is cringe. Uh, uh, uh, I already forget who this is.

We talked about it. Shit. Um. Holy hell. How could you forget this? Oh, no. Oh, no. This is such a popular thing, too,

and I already forgot who it is. Oh, no. Uh, uh, I, goof. Fuck. All right.

All right. D.K. is actually, I think he's about to deflate. Oh, my brain is. We're doing Perchirabo. We're doing Perchirabo again. Once again, God is cringe. Iron within, iron without. Come on, D.K.

Keep up. Oh, a part of me was going to say Perchirab. Then I looked over in chat and Shat said it's not Perchirabo. And I was like, wait, but then who is it? And then my brain just went like full blue screen of death. Yeah, it's not Perchirabo. But you just said it's Perchirabo. I lied.

Oh, is it Alfarious? What the fuck? What the fuck? Because it's a lie, because I was like, oh, it's Prince Rob, you're like, no, it's a lie. I'm like, oh, must be like Alfarious in the Alpha Legion again. Did you find more out about it? Oh, my God. No, no.

It's some of these, no, okay. No, I mean, you were going to get it anyway. I just wanted to fuck with you. But now we're in just, now we're in like so off-brand territory. Like, you, like, you have-on-brand. Me totally fucking up a quote and just taking everything off the rail is the most on-brand adeptist-religious thing

I think I've ever done. All right. And then Bricky was no more. And then my head shorted out. Okay, no, we're doing something that I was a little, so I didn't have much time to research the topic because I was an LVO. And which for those of you who have not,

follow me on Twitter or anything. I was at LVO, Las Vegas Open. I brought Night Lords. I was going to go one in five. I went two and four. Pretty good times. Felt pretty good.

The army is really bad. But all of my opponents were great. I enjoyed fighting all of them. I had fought another CSM guy who actually taught me quite a bit, which was very cool. And every time I walked up to my opponent, I was like, hey, I held up my hand and said,

give me some skin. I thought that was really topical. Very topical, unless they don't know anything about the nightlers. And they're like, oh, wow, what a boomer. Who says that? They were rather shocked. But it was a good time. Congratulations to Richard Siegler for winning LVO as well.

The man is not human and hasn't been for years. What is Richard Siegler play? For the tournament, he played Admec. And he was the only. Admec top eight player and he is the second time he has won the largest tournament in the world. So the man is an absolute monster and is one of the best players, is arguably the best player in 40K and he deserves the win once again. Massive congratulations then. Anyway, and it's something that has nothing to do with Tabletop at all, Shai recommended something different.

And she recommended we do an episode. It's probably a shorter episode overall because it's not long. it's shy recommended that I research slang small and it was a book written by Graham McNeil who is the demon kilaba writer who has now working for riot games but he wrote a short story about an hour and a half called the last church and that is what our episode is on I listened to it the reason I was quote unquote late to this episode is because I was finishing up the audiobook literally this morning. I read the whole thing.

But listeners, when he says late, he means he showed up to the recording studio 15 minutes ahead of when we usually record. That's late for us, you know. We give each other shit for whoever arrives last, so. Yes, we do. But I decided

to listen to the whole thing this morning. And the last church, I got to say Um Really Really fucking good Really Okay

Might be the best written 40K book I've ever read Whoa It's not my favorite I mean you can't beat the Nightloor's trilogy It's only an hour and a half But it's a Okay so for one

It's um I'll explain what it's about in a moment But it's narrated by Jonathan Keble Jonathan Keble has done a fuckload if I'm being honest. He's narrated all the Primark books I've read. He's done quite a bit. He's very, very, very good at what he does.

And he's, and it's like, it was extremely emotional. Like, near the end of the book, I found myself nearly tearing up. Oh, wow. Kind of shockingly? Yeah. I was very surprised. You're hyping this up. I'm going to have to check this thing out. If it's only like an hour and a half. I would recommend it. To all of our viewers, it's an hour and a half audiobook. The last church would really recommend listening to it.

It would 100%. It's on audible. He has a great job. Donk it out in an afternoon. So the last church actually takes place a little bit near the end of the unification wars where the emperor was defeating all of the techno-barbarians across the planet and ridding the world of religion. Yep, that is a very biggie thing to do, sure. This tells the story of the last church on Terra. The literal... Oh, the last one that has survived Biggie's wrath.

The last one who has survived Biggie's wrath, and it tells the story of the priest that is there for the at the church. His name is Uriah Ollathar, or just Uriah. And he was the last human priest, I think a little bit over 80, or maybe a little under 80 around there. And he was heading over to his midnight sermon

in which a man, who is the emperor, walks into his church, the only person to join him with a sermon, and he talks with him. He just talks with him. Oh, he just talks with him. They just have a conversation and it's just Biggie talking to the priest. Also, does it matter what religion this church is or it's just a religious church?

They use the term of the divine and God. Though the church is actually called the church the lightning stone. But it's kind of morphic, you know, it's just... It doesn't really matter. It's religion. Biggie's trying to get rid of religion, but the religion has a god that it worships. Yeah, it has the divine. It has God.

Yeah. Okay. And, no, the idea is that in this hour, so it's verbal sparring. It's, Biggie says religion is cringe. Other guys says, you're cringe. And kind of back and forth. Imagine telling Biggie that he's criss. Well, so Biggie comes to this church, right? And this guy, Uriah, has heard the missing.

has heard of the emperor's wars across the world. And he knows, I think he believes, he knows he's the last church there. And he was waiting, because he's a purse on the top of a mountain. And he was waiting for his last, like, he has like a midnight sermon, literally at midnight. And he was waiting for people to join.

And only one man joins. And it's the emperor. And the emperor is under like a psychic disguise. So he doesn't know he's talking to be. Biggie. Exactly. He looks, Biggie looks like a smaller man. He's like using, he looks like a man, but he looks smaller.

He is not like as radiant. He looks like a big man, but not Biggie. Just a normal dude though, yeah. So they, Biggie is there to quote unquote talk with him and because he will, this is the last he will be seeing of this and he wants a thing to remember it by, so to speak. A memento of the last church before he obliterates religion Pretty much

And it starts off interestingly They start talking Because originally this guy So the emperor calls himself Because the priest says like my name is Jariah And the emperor gives himself the name of revelation Which is very Wow

Yeah, I know That is a little on the nose isn't it? A little bit My subtlety detectors are going off Batman. Um, yeah. Humorously enough, the priest does acknowledge this. And it's like, ah, you call yourself revelation and you, you denounce the divine. Ha, ironic.

Very ironic. Um, but there is a, there is a painting, uh, giant fresco. Uh, and it's of the emperor of mankind defeating a silver or like a dragon with angels around him and stuff. And the Uriah believes this to be the work of the divine defeating a great dragon When in reality it's a M. Burbank kind of feeding the void dragon Okay, gotcha So it starts off small

It's very much like It starts off on very good terms You know, the priest is welcoming anyone Who wants to come in and talk And And Yariah, yeah, you know, he's interested in this And he's curious about the emperor's, well, revelation, his warmth there. And talking about it starts off simple, like disgusting the fresco, the big painting

and how the priest believes that the painter was touched by the grace of God. And only in that way could they paint something so impressive. And the emperor counters with, you know, people, somewhat a great man sculpted arts and statues. and far away and they were a godless people and you know you know percherabo decided to debate the existence of god for about 15 minutes in his book and it was in my opinion trash it's trash it was it was it was so heavy-handed and while this one is not as subtle as certain areas it's far more um It's far more respectful. Ah, okay, good, good, good, good.

Yeah, being a little more respectful is good. You know, it's not just, hey, your God is cringe, and I will hear nothing of it. They actually have a debate, and they actually talk about it. Okay, cool. Good for that. I'm probably going to be skipping over parts of the debate because the most important knowledge is the backstory of the priest. Okay.

So, exactly, here's a quote from the book. This is the emperor speaking. And it says, no gods ever created art. And then the priest responds with, in an earlier age, some might have considered such a sentiment, blasphemy.

Yeah. And which, Emperor responds, blasphemy, it is a victimist crime. Despite himself, Uria laughed and said, touche.

So he got some... Blasphemy is a victimless crime. I like that quote, actually. It is, it's a very... The priest starts off very okay with this back and He gets annoyed often, but...

But it's a tongue-in-cheek thing. It's not like he's super offended that somebody's trying to debate the existence of the divine with him. Exactly. Well, wait. The idea is that, yeah, the emperor believes that everything is reason, you know. The reason the church of the lightning stone is called the Church of a Lightning Stone is because a man who was both blind and deaf. was encountered a lightning storm and ran down a hill in order to escape it. Then he hid it in shelter, I believe this rock, it's cavern in the mountains.

And when the lightning storm had subsided, there was a rock, a hematite, that was struck by lightning and bloomed in this magnificent hue, hue of wreathed in lightning and glow and this rock cured the man of his blindness and deafness and so he ran down

in order to show off the strength of this rock, the stone and the water around the stone was known to have healing properties and because of this healing properties that's where the foundation of this church

was built around and so they had bathing houses that you would come in and bring you're sick and they would bathe into to heal themselves with disease and affliction. Okay, that sounds like a good origin story for religion, sure. Yep. I once was lost, now I'm found. Gotcha. Okay. Yeah, it's pretty classic. And the man, you know, the emperor counters with, well, you know, the man,

deafness and blindness could be a sentiment of a mentality. And I think we should also state that both of you and I are not religious people. We are both very much, very much, not anti, but I would call myself an atheist. However, I like a lot of Camus stuff, you know, stranger, myth of Sisyphist, that stuff. But I'm also not, I'm not necessarily very anti. It's, yeah. I don't know what I. I am in terms of religion.

I think something had to create everything. I just don't know what, because I'm just a pea-brained human that couldn't possibly understand universal creation on that scale. So I'm sure something caused us all to be here. I just don't know specifically what it was.

Would that term be agnostic? I think that's about as close as you can get. Yeah. Interesting. Shai put it in chat that said, Bricky is not religious, but he is spiritual. No, I wouldn't call that either, shy. I'm not a spiritual person.

I like to indulge myself. Like, I own a deck of terror cards. I read them sometimes out of curiosity. I don't particularly believe in them, but I find it interesting. You know, I, like, I meditate sometimes, but I don't. Is it vain of me to say I like tarot cards because I just think they look cool? No, I think they look dope. A lot of tarot cards look super sick.

And so I'm like, I like tarot cards. They're like, oh, do you understand how to read them? No. But I think they look cool. I'm like, oh, all right. Well, here's a ball. Go play, kid. It's like, okay.

Thanks, Mom. Get the fuck out of my house, kid. I'm making crystals. But, you know, I wanted to preface that because obviously we're going to have a bias when we discuss this. Oh, certainly. Certainly, yeah. Though it's important to note that because of that, the reason I found Percharabos' discussion, so fucking cringe, is because it was so I'm right, you are wrong, atheism is correct. Whereas this one plays it far more.

It plays the emperor as, in a sense, the good guy in the beginning. it definitely has a leaning towards anti-religion, but it also plays the emperor as a hypocrite. Oh, okay. And that comes later. So anyway, continuing, the emperor counters this bathhouse idea with, he saw something in a different church way out in the east or whatever,

where the healing properties of the bathhouse were not to be swapped out too often for fear that their potency would be lost. And so the water was filthy with strands of blood and scabs and disease And just kind of and so it's a miracle that anyone survived coming out of that water The healing water in its own right so yeah you know countering back and forth Ew that's so just imagining what that those healing what he Healing air quotes I'm doing them you can't see them uh ugh, that's crow with like scabs and disease and blood in.

It was really nasty. Like, oh, let me jump in and heal myself. And it's like, ugh, oh, bleh. So the main discussion kind of got to the idea where Uriah said, all right, you and I can verbal spar all morning, but by the time dawn breaks, you are to leave me. And the emperor said, sure, knowing full well that it's not going to happen. Yeah, and he's big Ease, so if he does leave, he's just going to fucking obliterate the church anyway, so who gives the shit?

Yeah, so the main basis of the entire novel was the story between the two, the story of the story of Uriah. So Uriah grew up in the early, in the mid-30th millennium, shortly before the unification wars began. And he was sort of a wealthy parents, good parents, but, you know, when some people have nothing, wrong with their lives of great parents and they just rebel, they act out. And Yeriah was one of them. His father got, in fact, they were sipping some wine from a tumbler when they spoke.

And Yariah said that he was to open the wine on his wedding night when the bottle was not open. And he said, he never, he never, he never married. Never married, never progressed his lineage. No one could put up with him, is what he said. But in the beginning, he was a rebel. He drank himself blind every night. He stole.

In fact, one of the biggest parts of the book is a little pocket watch. He's brass pocket watch. He stole from a man when he was like nine as a gift for his father. And it was said that when the pocket watch ticking is when doomsday would begin. When he had the pocket watch in the middle of the altar in the church. I've always wanted a pocket watch. Pocket Watches are dope. They are dope.

They're very old, old, like, old money kind of thing, but they're neat. Old classy gentleman with a moniker on a top hat and look at my vest in my pocket watch. It's kind of cool. Big old mustache. Yeah, big mustache.

So, as Uriah made his way around and he would travel across the lands and visit multiple continents, and all he saw was the double-headed eagle of the emperor and he would constantly be reminded of the emperor's new warriors and see his enormous, enormous warriors walking through the streets

which at the time were the Thunder Warriors. Those were big boys. Those were big boys. And he was always, as a young man, he was always just, he hated them. You know, because youth rebels. And eventually, one time he, in a drunken stupor,

he ran out, he went to his line of Thunder Warriors. The guy, you fucking piece of shit. P, like crap serving, the newest tyrant. You know, you, you rip apart, the tyrants of the world you say, yet you

giant lards can't think for yourself, blah, blah, blah. And the Thunder Warriors grabs them with one hand and lifts them up. I was going to say, that's ballsy to go up to a Thunderlord and start talking shit. Like, or a Thunder Warrior and start talking shit, that's a, that

takes some balls. Like, holy shit. Thunderwires are gigantic. He was drunk out of his mind, you know, in a sense of invincibility. Still, still, even drunk, it's like looking at a Thunder Warrior and thinking you could talk shit, like wow, okay.

So he like was pounding the Thunder Warrior trying to get into release him and he was like, you shut your mouth before, before I make you shut it, he threw them away. Like a sack of potatoes, yep. Pretty much. And so with time,

Eventually, he made his way, he would return back home to give some stuff to his family, mostly things he stole. And eventually he made his way over instead to a different group, a different town. The town was owned by a man. I don't remember his name, but he was under the guys that he had assaulted

and murdered a woman. but he was a very proficient speaker, and the town didn't like the Thunder War, or the militia, the guard that the emperor had stores. So it was assumed that he was wrongfully accused, and Uriah had believed him. And so him in the town whipped up like a militia because there was a riot in the street

that killed like a bunch of people, and they were furious. So they whipped up a militia, and then they murdered all the emperor's guard. and there. Not the Thunder Warriors. The Emperor's like Imperial Guard. Well, shit, but still, that's pretty impressive

that you can whip up like just a local militia and take out a bunch of like Imperial Guard. Well, the whole town had like... That's still pretty nice. The whole town had like revolted and attacked like the, you know, heads on the Bastille, you know, Viva Le France, that kind of shit. Viva la revolution!

Yeah. So once then they started kind of just revolting it and they were fucking proud. chest held high and excited that they were finally going against the tyrannical rule of the so-called emperor and other cities would start to sprout up and make this little militia. And this man, the guy who would actually, the guy who was wrongfully accused of poisoning and assaulting, or was he poisoning? Assaulting this woman, you know, and killing this woman, was leading that revolution.

He was on his horse and he was shouting and bringing people together. him. During this conversation, Revelation, the emperor, said, you do realize that, you know, this guy was guilty for this crime and he did assault and murder this woman. Oh, no. And Yariah said, yeah, I know that now, but at the time I didn't. And, you know. That doesn't make it okay, though, Yariah. No, but he was young and didn't know. And so they whipped up like a force, like 50. thousand men, a militia, and they were parading across the streets, not training, but parading their military might, like, we are rebelling, and they were prepared to fight for their own freedom against the emperor's rule. And so they found a hilltop, a great, extremely powerful position with a march that someone

couldn't get through on the side, like a rocky cavern on this other side, the greatest spot. And way down there, there was an army of the emperor amassing to take back the area. And it was a tenth of their force. But it was a tenth of a malicious force. They had 50,000, and they had 5,000 of the Thunder Warriors. Oh. All right. Okay.

And as the ranks made their way down, it was like a dead silence as this, the guy in the horseback who had assaulted the lady was like, yeah, you know, our freedom, yada, yada. And as they charged out of the Thunder Warriors in a moment, like the air just turned into the sound of thunder as they opened up with bolters on their ranks. Oh, boy.

and just They were slaughtered It was called the Battle of Gaduars I think I should Guajua I forget the name of it But they were Completely slaughtered as Uriah saw all the men around him

blown open by bolt shells Oh boy Because these are bolters right These are like rapid fire grenade launchers Yep Oh boy So these men were

limbs blown off, chest cavities opened, legs and body parts. The dude who assaulted the woman was blown off of his horse and was lying in a sprawl of meat. And it started off with this just

like the only sound you could hear was the thunder crack of bolters and then after the volley came it was nothing but it was nothing but screaming. You know it was Just people, and everyone started breaking ranks and running.

Like, within 10 seconds, they lost like 9,000 men. Yep, not surprising. Even if you were, like, a well-outfitted, even if they had space marines on their side, you're not going to stand up to that many Thunder Warriors. Well, the space marines would do an okay job at it, I think. Yeah. But it was...

Yeah, like, if you're just, like, on horseback with just your local militia that can maybe stand up to some imperial guard, yeah, you're going to get absolutely fucking bodied. So as the, just like he was talking about how the sound of just the bodies and screaming people and then the smell, the smell of singed clothing and fecal matter of men soiling themselves and blood. And eventually he felt a sting in the back of his head where a piece of bone from one of his comrades

had exploded and and sliced the back of his head open. Holy shit. So he ran and he wasn't ashamed to me. This whole point he was like didn't want to share this but they're like drinking whiskey or something the whole time so he's kind of his hand is shaking

and so he ran and hid and passed out from blood loss or whatever in like a cave and as he and as he woke he saw this golden light this incredibly bright golden light

in front of him and this light had a face this visage that said why do you deny me accept me and you will know that I am the only truth and the only way oh no that light was biggie wasn't it it was biggie

and that's the whole reason he became like religious and wanted to start like a church in the first place. So, Uriah returned back home where apparently his family, who were very wealthy at the time, were raided by some raiders,

some enemy faction. And he found, came back to find his brother dead and his mother and sister violated in front of his father. Oh. Hoping to, for his father... He's got out of grim dark.

Hoping for his father... to tell them where all of his money was. And his father, a man with a weak heart, died from a sum of a heart attack during this. Yeah, that sounds about right. So with his family dead, and these raiders were eventually wiped out by the emperor himself, which he states.

Urius says, oh, I don't care for death anymore. You know, I believe that they will find their penance in the hands of God. for they were horrible people. He has faith that they got their comeuppance in the afterlife. Okay. But from there, that's when he devoted himself to the church, the Lightning Stone, and became its priest.

And from then on, he was the last priest on earth. Well, not the last priest on earth, but he was the priest, and he would hold midnight sermons. And now, at the ripe age of around 80, he was the last priest on earth. Having a little chit-chat with Biggie. A little chitch of a guy. And here's a quote from the book. This is Biggie to him and he says,

What made you think it was God? Did you not hear what I said earlier about the brain's ability to perceive what it wants to? You were a dying man on a battlefield surrounded by your dead comrades and you were having an epiphany of the futility of the life you had led. Surely, you can think of another explanation

for this vision. Uriah, a more likely explanation that does not require the supernatural. Uriah responds with I need no other explanation You may be wise in many things revelation But you cannot know what goes on in my mind I heard the voice of God

And saw his face He bore me up and set me into a deep slumber And when I had awoke my wounds were healed And then after that he points to the back of his head Was a massive scar Mm-hmm From where the bone was and yeah Often Euriah says that's the greatest thing

about faith is that it requires no proof. The lack of proof is the very essence of faith. Yep. And so the... Go ahead. I was going to say, it sounds like he's getting set up for the literal biggest disappointment of his life when he realizes who he's, like, talking to

and that his faith was basically placed completely in the emperor. Well, the constant... constant talk after this is the discussion of war and how the emperor religion breeds adversity and therefore breeds conflict because of all the wars have been fought in the name of religion.

He's not wrong. Ever since God has had a name, people have thought about it. Correct. And Uriah counters with the sheer volume of good it is done that it teaches one to be a good person to respect thine others and to

also the strength it provides as he would talk to dying men, old men, and reaffirm their faith in God and allow them to contain their, or to express their happiness in the divine before their death. And the good it is done to the people of his religion and his church. The importance of faith in either the faithless or those who need it, as sometimes the only solution for a wounded mind is belief in the divine so as I was saying the concept of like all the wars that were fought over it but also all the good it's done

you know a wounded mind answer is faith and even even Vigee was talking about the how the crusades were fought under the name of deus Volt even said the word deus vault which I was quite funny wow what a Chad what a Chad and this discussion that kind of thing back and forth in the importance and non-importance.

Eventually, Uriah being drunk and just going over the traumatic aspect of his life, said, fuck this, and, you know, got fed up with it, constant arguing and bickering. And he went to go pray in his church and bid the emperor to leave. And Big E was like, you know, I'm not going to do that. Oh, no. And Yariah said, fine, do what you want, but what you say in your malicious intent does not adjust my faith in the divine. And so, Biggie then says very well and reveals himself.

And reveals himself to Uriah as the man himself, the person he saw in his vision and the emperor of mankind as well. Yep. And originally, it's very much a sad moment for our priest. Yeah But it doesn't last Oh well that's good Because I was completely thinking that

Yerai was just going to break down and be like Oh God everything I've known and everything I prayed to is a lie Oh no oh God oh God grim dark Oh no oh God In the beginning it had a little bit of that It was the notice that Or the notion that he himself Was the face he saw

He was the face of the vine, and in reality, it was just the emperor of man, who he views as a tyrant. And when you think about what the emperor said to him, which was, why do you deny me, accept me and you will know that I am the only truth and the only way, makes a lot more sense than that. Yeah. However. That's a moment. That's a moment right there. Jeez. Though, as he, eventually the emperor told him to follow him.

and he walked him out of the church. And in the pouring rain of the outside stood up like a hundred thunder warriors with torches in their hands. Ray to put to flame the last church on earth. And in the beginning, it was obviously he was very, you know, sad. But then he reconsidered.

He was thinking of all the good he had brought to him, to both him and his parishioners. His own idea of God was false, was built on a lie, but the good he had brought from it was extremely real and very tangible. Oh, that's a good little silver lining. Yeah, like his despair he felt was actually a sense of accomplishment. You know, he listened to the visitor and he had his faith challenged, but in reality, despite his faith being built on a lie,

it meant nothing to the men and women who had had their lives bettered from it. Right. Just because his faith was based on what he didn't know was a lie, doesn't mean that it nullifies any comfort that he had given to the dying or anybody that had healed themselves in the holy water. He'd still done a lot of good stuff, even if his religion was based on a, you know, false god. On Big E.

Well, which is also, we'll discuss the false god thing maybe a little bit later, but it said the last time, Uriah had gazed into the eyes of the emperor and looked at a being who had lived for millennia. You know, witness wonders and horrors, so much knowledge. And with the amount of, like, violence he had brought and compassion he had, how could the emperor even be remotely human?

How could he understand the concepts of humanity, of humans? Of course he's not going to have believe in the divine for someone who isn't remotely human. Yeah. And his idea of the new world, because he was talking about like the conquering of the galaxy, right? Religion is aloof and must be brought low in order for the, or the humanity,

and the emperor to truly take over the galaxy as their divine, or not divine right, sorry, that don't be the opposite, as they're right. But this quote here, I really like. Because he was challenging him. He said, what are you? Like, what are you? You discuss all this, like, this conquest of the galaxy.

And the emperor quote says, nothing of such grand scale can be achieved without a singular vision at its heart. Least of all, the reconquest of the galaxy when he's explaining that he must be the sole leader of him. Yeah. Uriah responds with, didn't you just tell me of the bloody slaughters

perpetrated by crusaders? Doesn't that make you no different or no better than the holy men you were telling me about? The difference is I know I am right, said the emperor. And Rai says, says, Uriah says, Spoken like a true, autocrat. You misunderstand, Uriah. I have seen the narrow survival path that is all that stands between

humanity and extinction, and this is the way it must begin. Uriah states, it is a dangerous road you travel. To demy humanity, a thing, will only make them crave it all the more. And if you succeed in this grand vision of yours, what then? Beware that your subjects do not begin to see you as a God. Oh boy. The the amount of well I like the amount of holy shit he's right is palpable. Like you can like you can almost savor how right he is. It was even funny because the emperor was talking about all the horrors done in the name of religion the creation of the inquisition that would burn women and witches over superstition.

and I was just like, fuck, man. You have no idea, do you, biggie. Even said, like, oh, the inquisition of power with unquestioning, that no one could question and they had a complete autocracy. And I'm like, oh, my God. Oh, boy, if only you knew the hypocrisy that was about to befall your Imperium. Holy shit. Oh, man.

So at the end of the book, it said, bereft of the need of the reassurance only faith could bring to mortal men and women. The emperor found it wasteful and an extremely dangerous distraction. And Uriah couldn't really explain just the sheer comfort it brought to mere human beings in its importance. And so with that, as the Thunder Warriors were setting the church aflame, Uriah and his old brittle bones walked back into the flaming church at his with his little pocket clock

and the altar and just kind of sat there you know in solemn contemplation and prayer and when the morning came and the church was burnt down to the ground and the emperor

bid him and his thunder warriors to leave the only sound that could be heard was the ticking of a broken clock oh that is Yeah, that was it That's a hell of an ending And that was the book

But the short story, I guess so Yeah, that's heavy It's very heavy And it creates an interesting thought process Of, you know, is the emperor Any better than the religious wars That were crafted in the earlier days Considering the destruction

That he wrought I was gonna say he's arguably worse? From a sheer loss of life standpoint, sure, if we're rating him on the Hitler scale. He's quite pretty, he's quite high on the Hitler scale, as you remember from a All-Garston party. Yeah, he's very, very high on that scale, despite what he wanted the Imperium to become. I do like the idea that like Biggie is like this larger-than-life figure.

he's been alive for millennia, and he is like the most non-human thing ever. And that, like, the one who is supposed to shepherd humanity forward couldn't possibly understand what it's like to be human because he's so old and he has all this power and he has all these, he couldn't possibly understand what it's like to be the people that he's leading. A man who has seen everything, a man who has seen everything done. everything and has no fear of death.

Yeah. He's the most least human thing ever and he's trying to lead humans without any concept of like how they feel. And one also has to argue because we talked about the idea that Uriah's religion was born on a false god. This is the biggest and one of

the most interesting topics I think when it comes to discussing the emperor. Who's to say he isn't a god? Well, he's... Like who... The chaos gods are gods, are they not?

They are. The emperor can create miracles in his own right like the other gods. Look at Celestein. He possessed Gilman to fight Mortarian. The sisters strengthened their power in faith is literally a direct result from Big E. Also true. I have heard the argument that Biggie is sort of the faith god. Right?

What is it? Like the faith chaos god or something? A man who we have no idea where he came from. A man whose divine light is so powerful and his mental, like, psychic stuff is so strong that some people could not even look at him. Who's to say that to Uriah, the emperor was not a god? And in fact, as a god, was attempting to test his faith.

Well, I mean, that's... Yeah? I hadn't thought of it like that, but sure. I mean, he is... The problem is the Biggie has done so many dumb fucking things in the lore. Yeah, he sure is. Magnus example, bad dad. Bad dad.

Magnus had his fare of follies in that whole thing, but Biggie could have very easily prevented it too. And also, you know, I mean, if we look at actual Bible... In Per Chirabo. Per Trambo. An Angron. But if we look in like... If we look at the actual Bible and stuff, God is not always the nicest of people.

Oh, yeah, Old Testament God is a vengeful God indeed. New Testament God, pretty all right. Old Testament God? Oh, fire and brimstone. Oh, boy, let's just flood it all and start over. And it's like, okay. All right. Sure.

That's the part that I thought of a... Oh, yeah, that's right. Shire reminded us. Remember when he burned Lorgar's favorite city and forced it to kneel in its ashes and telling him was a big part of him. Well, yeah. Fair enough, Biggie, yeah, he's not exactly a merciful. Faith God, is he?

It's a, I like the book a lot. It's very respectful, I think. It's obviously leaning towards the atheism part of it, but it's showing the sheer importance of faith to those who need it, despite whether or not their faith was correctly placed. And it also calls into question the motives of the unfaithful. The Emperor's Crusade is not particularly that wonderful for humanity. Well, I mean, it is and isn't.

It's quite violent. Yeah. And also at the same time, you know what I would have, well, maybe not. I kind of, for a second when I was reading this, I thought this, or I might have been Malkador. But like, maybe like, like, refurb. forged or something. Oh.

But no, but no, he's not. But it would have an interesting concept. But as an unreligious person, it's a great insight into the emperor and a bit of his mindset slash hypocrisy. Oh, yes. I mean, if you know how the Imperium ends up, like, it sounds like, it sounds like, the emperor is just dripping with hypocrisy. Because most people that are going to read this short story

will know how the Imperium ends up, how they end up worshipping Biggie as a god, as the religious figure. And man, it must just seem like the most, he must seem like the most hypocritical thing on the, like the hypocrisy is just oozing from his ears and his eyes and it's just, yeah. Everything he's damning the priest for

ends up happening to the Imperium. Right. Just with a different banner and a different flag. Mm-hmm. And a different, yeah, yeah. Methodology, basically. Mm-hmm. And, you know, like I mentioned, we talked last episode about the Hologuins and Kegarok, the Laughing God. You believe Kegarok to be pretty real. He's a god. Mm-hmm.

If Biggie and Kegarok douged it out, do you think Biggie would have won in his heyday? You know, I couldn't tell you Because I don't know a whole lot about Kegarack and what else he do But I imagine it would have been a slug fest I don't think it would have been like a one-sided affair I mean yeah Biggie seemed like a tango with a chaos god Yeah

The definition of God Is very much up for debate in the term and the world of 40K If we easily defeckel find the chaos gods as gods. And then there are the Eldar gods, like Isha, who is in Nurkel's Jar, to remind you. You always got to remind me of that.

Always got to remind you that. There's Vol tons of gods there. You know, the concept of the emperor being a god is certainly up for debate, especially considering a complete lack of understanding of his backstory. It is not far-fetched to believe

that the emperor could be some sort of god. of humanity. That is not far-fetched at all, I don't think. And it makes, it's also not far-fetched as someone like Eurya Ola-Ther could see him instead as a test of faith. If his God is saying that God is not real, then that is a test of just true faith in the divine. Certainly. Great, great fucking book. Great fucking book. This got very deep.

It did. That's what I liked it so much. Yeah. Once and then right and then you and then last episode we talked about Clussy. You know like duality of man. The duality of man. Clussy and the existence of the almighty, the divine, the hypocrisy of telling someone they aren't this and Clussy.

Damn. We have it all ladies and gentlemen. We literally advertised a tyrannid with. giant tits on this episode. We did. And that might have a giant penis, too. We advertise that in this episode. Shy, I expect this one drawn with a dick now.

Yeah, why not? Why not? It's biomass. They can evolve to suit their needs, right? Shai says you can build religion on big titty bugs. Shy, they already did. The jean-stealer cults. Praise to the forearmed emperor.

You already got. Got it. There is a religion on them already. And shit, man. Who's to say that the hive mind isn't a fucking god? Oh, that's also true. Yeah, sure. Why not?

Wait a minute. There's the... Wait a minute. There's the Catan. They are literally star gods. Oh, yeah, they are perceived. That's true. They're literal star gods, aren't they?

Yeah. Killed. Yeah. Put into pokey balls. Man, man. Zerick is a, Zerick the silent king is a god killer. He's the real atheist around here. Yes, he is.

Holy shit. Wait, yo, Big E is a fucking bitch. He keeps trying to dissolve religion. He tries to dissolve religion and instead becomes a religious martyr. Zerick actually killed the gods. What a Chad. Necron supremacy, let's go. Necron supremacy, let's fucking go.

That thinks that I. One of these days I do want a void dragon mini. That thing looks so fucking dope, dude. It is really dope. The Virgin Emperor of Mankind versus the Chad Zerick. Zerick wins every time. I need that as the meme.

I have drawn you as the soy jack emperor. You have lost hail to the infinite empire. Gee, I wonder what we're going to get added at a lot on Twitter on Wednesday or today or whatever. Hmm, I wonder if it's gonna be a thing. Hmm. I really, I really enjoy this episode, D.K. Yeah, this is a fun episode. This episode had everything.

It was, it was very enjoyable. It was very interesting. And to all of our fans out there, you know, you are obviously completely accepted to believe your beliefs. We have nothing against, nothing against what you believe so long as you aren't hurting anybody. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. And as long as you weren't extremist scum. Yes, this is not a condemnation of anything naturally. But it was a very interesting world because this is a, the universe and the insight, I think is very interesting.

Oh, yeah, definitely. Nice little insight into how Biggie thinks and just how bad it gets after Biggie dies. Air quotes, dies. I should mention though that Biggie is portrayed as a very compassionate or mostly compassionate intelligent man in this book

he's very calm and collected and respectful mostly Yeah it's not he's lashing out at Eiriah and telling him he's a fool Yeah he's very he's very calm about it Smug's sense of superiority sure but you know Anyway You're a god

Yeah well yeah Anyway that's the Last church. D.K. Knock on an afternoon, man. It's so good. I will. It's incredible. I will. I will. I will, I will read it. Good. Good, good, good. Yeah. It sounds incredible. So, yeah, definitely.

Hour and a half. Paints and minis during it. So the rest of our fans. Oh, yeah. Thanks, Graham McNeil. You wrote this and then you wrote the demon Kulaba. You sure, you have, and then you helped with Arcane, probably. You've got some fucking range. I hear the rest of the Ultramarine books are quite good though aside from Demon Kalaba Nightmare Fuel Oh probably

Same reason why you know People like the Ultramarines and I like the Fucking Night Lords you know good books Yeah sure Anywho A big thank you to everyone for watching this episode I really like this one This honestly might be one of my favorites we've done

Just because of the conversation Yeah It's a deep conversation and I liked it. It was great. Good for us. And good for you for being here, listeners. Now we need to end this episode

is something dumb because there's no way we can get around it. Have you seen Bikin's tits, dude? Oh man, I've never wanted to play Guilty Gear more than I do right now. Fuck yeah. Episode over. Let's play some Guilty Gear.

Mmm. If only I remember the lyrics to the guilty gear, is my hymn is brazy? The word kill me I don't need a new word How dare you Soon you win Do the smell of the game