Adeptus Ridiculous - THE HUMBLE LASGUN | Warhammer 40k Lore

Episode Date: March 2, 2022

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My name is D.K. Diamante's. My co-host is Bricky. He's going to be teaching us some real ridiculous shit now that he's not sick. But before he does, if you guys enjoy today's podcast, head over to patreon.com slash adeptus Ridiculous, where you can support us. We have a new HD poster. I think it's like a Slenish demonite. Looks really good, real fancy. It's wonderful. Patreon.com slash Adeptus Ridiculous. And Bricky, I think you have a thing. You have a thing. Yeah, I'll make it quick. Go to Orkinate.com if you want to get merch. There's lots of merch, new stickers pretty great. All right.

But for this episode. That was quick. Damn. Technically, this episode's coming out in March, which means the night art contest is concluded. However, it's a Wednesday, like, I think today is like the second of when this is coming out. We'll give you to the end of the week to do your submissions. Check the description all about the night contest.

You get a little more time to put those finishing touches on your night. Just a little more for a reminder. And yeah. D.K. I'm sorry for being sick. You should be. How dare you? How dare you not limp your way into the Discord, into the call, and give us the ridiculous Warhammer information? How dare you? You are...

I wanted to fire you, but I stuck up for you. Really lucky that we filmed that book club episode when we did. Yeah, yeah. actually turned out very fortunate, yeah. We got actually a lot on that episode, too. We did? Well, it's because I kept calling the philatomark the Lysregonian on accident. That's it?

A lot of people seem upset about that. No, it's a Philatoma. Oh, whatever. Whatever, it's this big, big, big, imperium ship. Yeah, it was a big imperium ship. That's what happens when you like something, but you have to be hard on it. There's always a lot of discussion around that, which is actually pretty good. But that being said, despite everything, despite us being appreciative, but a little lukewarm on the book,

it's still the best fucking Necron shit ever. Oh, yeah, definitely. It was still a really good book, just, you know, it unfortunately had to live in the shadow of ruin. Which is fucking amazing. Yeah, that's a big, those are large shoes to fill. Large shadows. Mm-hmm. And being sick does suck.

Yeah, I didn't have COVID. I might have had the flu. I tested negative for strep throat, but I was at the urgent care for two and a half hours. Either waiting in the car or waiting inside, and I was like literally shivering, like teeth chattering because of the fever. Oh, yeah, yeah.

And then they did like a finger prick for some blood to check if I had, it's called mono. Is that the virus The kissing virus hey Oh that one yes They needed to do blood to check that because the strip came back negative And COVID came back negative And I'm like

They said maybe it's the flu But then they would have to do that thing where they put the nasal thing All the way back in your nose to your fucking brain You know And I was like I'd rather fucking die I've been here for two hours like two hours at this point No Go home and take some flu medicine and

and just bundle under some covers. Despite being an EMT for a year, I lost my ability to no longer be squeamish. So when they pricked my finger, I immediately, my blood pressure just fucking dropped. Oh. And I was like, I'm going. I'm going. I'm out.

I'm leaving this mortal plane. The way to horrify Bricky, pinprick on the finger. I, man, I was so, I was squeamish, and then I got rid of it, and then I'm squeamish again, and I hate it, and I'm mad. But it's only, it's only like my own personal body that bugs me. Yeah, you just, you just don't watch him.

Just don't watch him do it. That's the problem. I'd probably be squeamish too for like little, like, if they were giving me a shot. I'm not staring at the fucking needle. I'm not like, mm, face my fears. Can I get a zoom in on this? I'm going to face my fears, you must. Look at it.

It's just face into the thing. This is what it is. This is your body. It's your blood. Dare at it. Drink it. Oh, well, drinking it is its own thing. We're not doing corn.

This is such a chaos episode, geez. Ironic, because are you ready for your quotes? I mean, no, but go ahead. All right. The demolisher, the vanquisher. Even the mighty Death Strike Missile launcher pale in comparison to the sheer firepower of trillions of lasguns unleashing hell in unison.

Captain Garious Septus of the 263 McCabean Janissaries. I mean, it just sounds like guard shit or it's just an overwhelming number of lasguns that are just, you know, plugging away the cute little flashlights. You know, it sounds like guard shit. I don't know.

I mean, yeah, it's going to. Guard shit. It's guard shit. I don't know what regiment we're talking about or if it's just guard tactics or if there is a specific commissar of the guard that this should be bringing bells, but guard shit, bro. Guard shit, bro. Do you think the, do you think the Cadians go to like the gym, like the people on 4chan do, where they just start like screeching when they're doing their sets and they're like eat whole. onions? Yes, actually I do. I think they totally do that. Good. We're talking about last guns today. That's literally it. Okay. So guard shit, guard shit's right. Okay. Yeah, guard shit's right. But, you know, I got sick. And I was thinking like, ah, some ideas, you know. I think actually we made this decision before I got sick. But I was thinking of all these kinds of concepts and ideas. And considering that our next book club book, which I forgot to mention, is going to be the new Krieg book.

Ah. I was like, Flashlights. Let's talk about flashlights. Perfect. I've started the Creek, because actually it's pretty not bad so far. Good.

Do they have flashlights? Yeah, yeah, there are flashlights. Let's go. Then easy. Yeah. Because I thought, you know, hey, it may not be the most iconic weapon of 40K. That's the Bolter, of course.

Yeah, they're close right. It's probably number two, yeah. It's the classic ass Las gun. I want to talk about old, old reliable. The old pea shooter, what would be easily the most powerful weapon ever conceived in human history, IRL. In 40K, it's like, yeah, it's a, it's a baby little flashlight. It's just a little thing, ding, ding, ding. Maybe not the strongest weapon ever, but a pretty darn good one.

Yeah. So the Las gun, sometimes referred to as a Las Rifle. as well. I think they're kind of interchangeable. It is a direct energy anti-personnel weapon. Most widely used laser weapon in the entire galaxy.

I guess that makes sense because the Imperium uses them and they're billions of fucking... They breed like ants. Yeah, exactly. So the standard Lasgun, your general standard MG short pattern lasgun or rifle,

The weight is 2.3 kilos Which actually Let me actually look that in pounds real quick About five pounds What's that in America? That's about five pounds I was gonna say you hit me with that kilo shit And I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about

Wait wait The fucking short patterned lasgun Las rifle is only five pounds That's not bad for that big ass rifle That's only five pounds They're using ultralight metals it's 900 millimeters long so almost a meter long

there's um the magazine type says it is the 19 mega fuel range what the fuck that means um so 30 shy hits me with a 35 inches long trust me shy that's not that long it's not that long it's not that long

it's not that long screams of maturity intensified. There's a single shot, so the semi and fully automatic, of course. The rate of fire is around 220 shots per minute, and you can, you can, you can, which is not that fast. Well, for a laser gun, that's pretty fast. 220?

Yeah. It's, it's, you know. You can also adjust, adjust the shot intensity of it, and it's got iron sights, but normally it has rails of multiple kinds to attach things like flashlights as well a flashlight on your flashlight or you know like a red dot or a scope or a scope or something you're pretty classic stuff right so they never attached like a bayonet to the bottom of it oh oh god we're reading a creak book and they've brought their bayonets yet yeah bayonets are very commonly are very commonly put on these okay i was going to say that's kind of be something you do for like an anti-personnel rifle

where you're doing a lot of close quarters combat. Oh yeah, especially if you're fighting nids or orcs. Oh, God, yeah, especially nids. The bayonet is huge, yeah, it's a big, big deal. Is it just like a, oh, did, what book were we reading where they found a, oh, shit, what are those old world tech things that they find that have blueprints in them? STCs. STCs.

Didn't they find one for like a really good knife that got turned into like a bayonet that, like, everybody uses. Um, no, the, so the story, you're thinking of, um, you're thinking of, um, you're thinking of ghosts. That's what was the, uh, was the, uh, was the corrupt STC. You're thinking of a, of the story where, like, three guardsmen ended up finding an STC that all it did was make knives, but I think it became the standard issue knife given to a starties.

Yeah. Um, so those three guardsmen were given like a planet each to do whatever the fuck they wanted with. Because they found the blue because they found the thing that made knives like to show the importance of the STC. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And how important the Met of Iron STC would have been

in that book, yeah. If it wasn't chaos corrupted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also horribly heretical. But yeah, Las Guns have bayonets all the time. There's even an order in the game called fixed bayonets where it allows you to attack again in like in melee, you know, things like that.

But yeah, The Las gun itself, I kind of think of the last gun a little bit like the Kleshnakov, the classic AK, in the sense that it's, like the AK's got a big-ass bullet, so it hits pretty hard in an overall sense. And it's very rugged and very easily usable. Like the last gun is, it's very easy to take a punch. part and repair because you know like much younger grunts need to figure that out so it's very very easy to disassemble reassemble it's easy to clean it's super rugged it can go through rain

snow everything it tends to still work super durable yep super super super yeah very durable design just all reliable you know and it kind of has to be if you if it's going to be the main weapon of your you know billion uh billion person army you need a reliable weapon. You don't need something that's too technical and it's hard to clean, hard to figure out, hard to dismantle. You want that easy shit that just works. Yeah. And especially when the weapon is a laser weapon, because the magazine you always see on the bottom is not actually a magazine. It's a power pack. Like a battery. Like a big, like a big ass battery. And the big ass battery, you plug it in there and then you have a certain amount of shots. And then naturally when your battery is depleted, you just put it in a

different battery. There's a couple interesting things about it, though. Obviously, the battery has a certain level of juice, and since the Lasgan can be adjusted in terms of strength, you can make it go lower if you're fighting someone

that's super lightly armored, or you need to conserve ammunition, or you can really crank the energy to make it like a little bit more armor piercing, and if you're trying to take down tougher targets, like, I don't know, the Vitrean dragoons did that very often in Gant's Ghosts. I was about to bring up Gons goes because the Vitry and Dragoon always kept their shit at max to guarantee a kill.

And then Gaunt had to be like, no, no, turn that shit down. They fall at half power. Just don't waste the ammo, dude. Yeah, and then they kept it at high power anyway. They killed their space marine with it. Like, I'm sorry, I kept it up, whatever. Yep, yeah, I'm sorry. It's like, okay, it's fine.

Also, really weird that they were able to kill a chaos space marine, but whatever. Remember, there's two ways it's written. Yeah. Like, tabletop and then, like, like, normal. Yep. I always look at the conscodes like the expendables. Oh, yeah. It's a whole bunch of super badasses.

Has anyone ever like supercharged, like gotten a supercharged battery that has like more juice and can fire like harder shots or anything? Or is it just there's a standard battery pack that just everybody has to use? Well, there's a standard battery pack for most patterned las guns and last rifles. But it's the gun that allows you. to up the wattage or up the amount of power. There are higher and more powerful battery packs, which we'll talk about when we talk about

the variations of the last gun. But there is one cool tech that you can do. We're really veteran guardsmen who know their gun inside out can actually overcharge their battery pack to such an insane degree that it makes the whole gun very volatile, and it turns the whole gun into a grenade. Ah, they're going tedious, huh?

Okay. that that reference went right over my head. What, going Tideore? Yeah, because in, uh, in Borderlands 3, I think. Oh, where you throw the gun. Yeah, and then you throw the gun, it blows up. Depending on how much ammo you have, it does more damage, too. Yes, that actually is probably the best example I can think about.

Yeah, you can, I mean, obviously it'll blow up your gun, so it's a last resort option. Yeah, yeah. But, um, yeah, it's something that you can do if you can properly overcharge and then you just eat the gun. and then access to a grenade. Though naturally, going along with that, you know, take the reference to the Kleshnakov, they're incredibly cheap to make. Like, they're dirt fucking cheap to produce.

Okay. You know, they cost barely any money. Their durability is big. And a giant important thing is that they do not require any ammo production. You know, you don't need to have a line of shells. True. to create because these power packs are rechargeable. Hell, they can even reach,

they can recharge in sunlight. Oh, they're solar, huh? You just put it on the sun and they just recharge? Yeah, I mean, it may not be as good as other options, but having your power packs in the sun to recharge is a way to replenish your ammunition reserves as well as taking it back to the ship or the camp and then plugging it into whatever, a generator.

So you don't have to have an assembly line of bullets and mags, you know, you just recharge your power pack. In my head, I was, I was just, I was just picturing this guard. He's like, oh, shit, I'm out of ammo, and he just plugs it in like an iPhone charger. And he's like, all right. Bo-do. It can cover me.

B-ding. B'ing. The little sound effect. Two hours, guys. I'll be good in two hours. Hold them off. I mean, I can imagine that, you know, you're in the thick of it,

and then you just, you know, there's the sunlight, you put your stuff in there, your unspent power, or your spent power packs, and you just kind of, It might only give you a couple extra shots, but, you know, a couple extra shots in war. Now I'm stupidly imagining a guard sunbathing with his power pack.

He's like, he's on a beach. He's in like, he's in like the folding chair and he's like he's got the little strip of like sun tan lotion on him and he's got a little power pack sitting next to him in a little mini folding chair. I'm just imagining he's like super incredibly buff and he's laying back with like the rainbow umbrella. He's just got two power packs over his nipples for like to censor him. He's just like

ah, ah. I like the way the power packs feel when they recharge. It's all tingly. Oh, God. We're falling into Slenish territory again here. I don't know. No, that'd be if he wasn't wearing any

underwear, but he's like covering his shlong with the Lasgun itself. Tasteful censorship. tasteless oh no I guarantee you there's gonna be fan art of that

popping up no bullshit DK no one has ever made fan art from our ideas ever ever you're right

how stupid of me wow what a fool how fool is I just simply L plus ratio plus no maidens plus touch grace touch grace

yeah why not grass well because it's an it's an Eldon ring joke because Eldon ring so popular

you don't have bonfires you You go outside and you touch grace. You touch grace. They're lost graces. What's wrong, D.K. No witches.

No maidens. No, no bitches. No maidens, man. I'm glad that the internet has memed Megamind so hard, because Megamind is actually an amazing film. I haven't seen it. Okay, well, you haven't seen anything good. That's fine.

That's true. I've seen good things. Have you? Yes. Have you met the Eldon Ring chick that is like all blue and has like four arms? Yes, I didn't realize she had four arms though, but she's got like a, she's got like a witch hat and then... Like half a face? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, okay. She's the one that gives you a very special item. It's a bell that lets you summon spirits that help you in really tough fights. Can I summon like a pack of wolves? You absolutely can. That's like the first summon you get. Oh, shit. All right.

All right, sorry, Destiny. Witch Queen raids on a hole. We're so many wolves. They're pretty good, too, for a lot of the game. There's three wolves, but if you take them against their really big boss that has, like, AEOE, they'll get fucked really hard. Damn. I want to summon a dragon. I don't know about that.

All right, this is an Eldon ring. This is an Elton Ring podcast. God damn. All right. But, yes, you know, obviously, like, LASGun, very, very handy weapon. Now, the actual thing the Lasgun does, the cause. The considering it's the standard issue weapon for all of Imperial Guard rank and file, junior officers, and even Scatari Infantry and the Mechanicus.

It's standard issue for the very basic Scatari troop, because there's a whole lot of Scutari like Rangers and Vanguard that used things like the radium carbines and galvanic rifles, but that's like the Flintlock-looking ass. I was going to say, I remember the adeptus, God, I was going to say the adeptist ridiculous. The attempt is mechanic.

That's you. Yeah, yeah, that's us. I remember their minis having like all these crazy giant like flint-lock cannons and sniper rifles. I was like, there's no way these motherfuckers using, using fucking flashlights. I think the flashlight is like the base weapon.

Yeah. You know, but also, yeah, the Rangers and stuff, they use like the galvanic rifle and which is just the coolest looking goddamn thing in the world. Yeah, the mechanics have the coolest shit. They do because they hog it all for themselves But the actual The actual gun it fires a

Pinpoint laser beam And what it is is it's a highly energetic Focused beam of coherent Protons Or is it photons Photon's sounds about right I think so Photons sounds right

Protons doesn't Hmm Well what a of them, one or the other. You decide, chat. It's photons. It's coherent. It is a beam of highly energetic, focused, coherent photons. Okay. And the energy from these photons, when they reach the surface, it is

immediately like vaporized, this very small localized explosion. So, you know, it's like, you hit it with the laser, everything that's got hit with the surface is vaporized or just like, Which is actually an interesting thing about the last gun is that because it's a little localized zap explosion This and says it's a laser vaporizing something It means that technically the last gun Whatever you shoot it at it will be

Somewhat effective that against There's very yeah like if you if you fire it let's say if I'm if I'm just standing there no shirt on and you fire it and you hit my arm you'll probably take my arm off. You'll take my arm off. Oh, yeah. Yeah, like if you hit me in the bicep, you'll probably clear off the entire lower bottom of half of my arm.

Oh, for sure. Now, of course, yes, it's a big laser beam with a localized explosion. However, if I was wearing like a plate vest, like maybe like a metal sheet on the front of a plate carrier, it would probably just create a big seared, a seared like patch on that plate.

You know, it wouldn't really go through. It's very, it's, it's very effective against regular fleshy targets, but it's super ineffective against anything, anything better than that. Oh, so even the most rudimentary armor would probably stop a Las Cannon? Or a Las Canon. Sorry, the wrong one. Last cannon is a different ball of wax. A Las Canaan ripped a tank in half.

Yeah, that's a whole different thing. It's a whole different story. Yeah. No, I mean, not rudimentary. I don't think like a 21st century Kevlar body armor would stop it. It might make it so doesn't kill you, but it would it would sear your skin probably regardless. I am assuming.

If you had some like medieval night armor though. It would probably stop it for a couple of shots. Okay. I'm going to assume that the power of the last gun is unfortunately due to the Warhammer being around for so long and having so many writers, the power of the Lasgan kind of sway with book to book. Oh, okay. The idea, though, is that it's very good against flesh,

because it's a big laser beam, despite the fact that it does cauterize the wound because it's superheated. So you have like a lightsaber kind of thing where you blow the arm off, but then they're not going to be bleeding. Yeah. Although, even if it doesn't work great against plate, again, I guess when you're firing 13 million, of them, you know, you're going to get a few stray shots. They're going to blow even armor off.

Your time, time, good, good assessment, D.K. Thanks. Very, very good assessment, because that's the concept is, you know, a Las Pistol, which is a shortened version. A Las Canaan is an insanely large, supercharged one that just rips through things. Yeah. The, um, the Las, but of course, the Las Cannon is just a much larger and more powerful variant of a singular Las gun. One would argue that while a Las Canon can rip a tank apart in one shot, maybe 2,000 Las guns will pepper the tank so much that the armor will just start to melt. Because you're still vaporizing a little part of the armor every time. Yep. And if 2,000 of them are concentrated on the same spot,

well, you basically have a Lazcanon. You basically have a spread out Lascanon. Yeah. There's also like the multi-laser, which is a like 2,000 rounds a second, like fire rate, just, just burr, laser gun. It's like a Gatlin gun. It's like, it's like, it's like a mini gun,

but for lasers. Sick. So it's actually not that powerful penetration-wise, but it's just firing it so fast. that, you know. I'm not sure how this would work. Is there like a Laj shotgun that just pellets, like just close range pellets?

So there are... Variations of almost every Lazz gun. There is a shot Lazz, which is an illegal modification of the Lazz gun to discharge more energy per shot at the cost of the beam's coherence. So, you know, more spread. Yeah.

Like a shot. Exactly like a shotgun. Right, but of course, it's still a laser, so it still has relatively infinite range, so to speak. But the fact that the range, it still becomes ineffective at certain longer ranges, but because the shots are so,

well, actually, let me phrase that, it does not have infinite range because the shot will lose power as it goes, because it's like the dissipating particles. Right. But the shot las also just kind of fires in random areas a little bit more spread, so, you know, it's less practical from distance. I'm assuming that's why it's an illegal modification. And everything is illegal in the imperial. No one's allowed to have fun.

That's true, dude. Yeah. Fucking goddamn corpse emperor. There's also other variations like the Las Carbine, which is a little bit more. like an SMG. It's a smaller variant, has like a foldable stock, and it has a power pack with shorter overall range, but also

I think a mildly higher fire rate. Those are actually the weapons mainly used by the Tannet first and only. They use Las Carbines because, you know, they're, they're stealth troopers, you know, so they want to keep close. Katachins like it a lot.

lot because they're like the close range stuff. Alisi and drop troopers are a big fan of them. There's also the Long Lazz, which is like a sniper rifle variant. It's just another reason why I harken in a little bit to Kleshenikov family, because the Las Gun is the AK-47.

The Las Carbine is the AK-74U. So it's like a heavy machine gun variant, which is like the RPK. And then the Long Lazz, it's like the Dragonov. You know, it's like it's constantly altered in the base structure can be altered and adjusted in various ways for whatever you need.

Okay, cool. There's also tons and tons of variants of it, of course. Of course. You've got to customize it, right? The M35, also known as the M Galaxy pattern Lazzgun, is the Lazzgun you know and love, the one you're always aware of. The M36 Cantrell Pattern Las Rifle is the name of the Cadian. one. There's a bullpup pattern, of course. There is the integrated Laz rifle. There's the Calabrax V1 patterned Las Rifle. And then there's the Lucius pattern 98 Las Gun and the lock patterned

Las Carbine and the M or the Cantrail MG short patterned lasgun and the Mark 4 Katachan Las Carbine and blah, blah, blah. So what are the difference between all these patterns just like the way they, like, is it just like, is it like the Kattachin one reloads faster, shoots faster, does it just have a different paint job on it? Like, what what makes a pattern

entirely dependent on where it comes from? For example, the bullpup pattern is a bullpup, so it reloads in the back. Okay. Like an og does, for example.

There is, let's say the Calabrax V1 patterned las rifle. It says the standard ornament for the solar auxila regiments during the Great Crusade is considered to be a higher quality of the most standard patterns of las gun and las carbine and it's most notable for its heavily reinforced energy transfer capacitors and it's great durability in wide planetary environments thanks to its superior heat dissipation qualities. So your gun might not jam or overheat on a lava planet so much it just

better ram. Yeah, well, that would be helpful, yeah. There's the MG short pattern lasgun, which is just like a stub-nosed one. Like I mentioned, the Mark 4 Katachin-Las carbine. It's a standard Lasgun or Lascarbine for the Katachin Jungle Fighters, but it has a more reduced barrel length, thanks for use in the dense forests and wooden terrain. So there's a Las gun for every occasion. And every one has their variant of gun, right?

How they mess with it, how they kind of fuck around and upgrade and modify it. The Vostroians have a special one for the Vostroian Firstborn, which is like these finely crafted, engraved, hand-detailed things that mark the weapon to keep it really nice. Okay. You know, there's lots of stuff like that. Triplex pattern Las Gun has multiple firing modes, like burst and stuff. Yeah, shot Las, as I mentioned already. Yeah.

There's a lot of interesting ones. I don't suppose there's ever been, like, a Las gun that's had a, had such a strong battery that they could make, like, a concentrated beam? I'm thinking, like, you know, like, how beam sabers are in, like, anime? You know, like, beam swords? Has that ever been a thing in 40K, like a lightsaber deal? Um, I, I am positive there has, but I can't think of where. If it's 40K, they took it from somewhere. I mean, there's like, like, power swords.

I mean, they're a sword, but they're like wreathed and lightning, you know. Yeah, yeah, most of the melee stuff in 40K is like chain swords. Well, he's for the Imperium. Yeah. I can imagine, like a laser blade. Maybe like, I would imagine Tao or Eldar would have a laser blade. I could see, like, Tao having like, an arbor blade. I could see, like, Tao having, like, an arm.

armored core style, like, laser gauntlet, you know? Definitely. I'm sure if there is one, Shai will certainly Memos on the video, so. Well, she's going to Memos anyway. That's kind of like her thing. Yeah, but now she has direction. Oh, damn it. Yeah. So, Lazz rifle, or Long Lazz was Mad Larkin of the sniper.

Well, he also had like a regular gun as well, but as long as Long Lazz in the, uh, Gant's ghosts, but there's also the other big variant of Lasgun, which is known as the Hellgun. And the Hellgun is also known as a Hot Shot Las Gun. Oh, I've heard that name before. Yeah, this is what we were referring to earlier when you were asking about like bigger battery packs. Yeah. So the Hot Shot Las Gun is a general love of the, of a certain level of combat engineer Kriegsman, as well as Tempesta Sions. So if you were to look at a photo of the Gigacad Tempesta Sions here, you'll notice there's a big wire coming out of his gun that's traveling to his backpack.

So his ammunition supply is in his backpack. That's a giant ass battery. Oh, okay. I think we talked about these guys before, right? And we mentioned how badass their gun is. That's probably where I heard hot shot. The last rifle gun before. Most likely, the tempestus Sion's because they're drop troops, they need to have really higher level weapons. So what it does is it makes the laser way more potent and have significantly more punching power. It's basically having it at max power and then some supported by, you know, you have max power on the magazine. But max power in the magazine is like half power on the backpack. And the backpack is cranked even higher than that.

you know. These things like these things pierce. So at absolute maximum capacity like the backpack is at absolute max output like what can these things do? Like how how hard do these things fuck? Well I'm not sure if the backpack is like

always at max because that's a little volatile carrying them. It's like the guy with the flamethrower in World War II. You don't want to be near him. Yeah but if if you were so inclined you're like oh that that target has to go out maximum carnage. Like, how devastating are these things? I'm not quite sure how strong they would be

in the actual lore lore. But I know they hit really hard. I think the, I know that, like, let's say you're wearing that armor I mentioned before. Let's say like the metal plate or whatever the hell. It'll punch right through you and come out the other side

and then hit the guy behind them. Pretty easily. All right. But in game, for instance, a lasgun is one of the lowest strength weapons in the game. It's strength three. Armour penetration is at a flat zero and only one damage. A hot shot weapon has a bit of a shorter range, probably because of its higher output, you know, a little more volatile. But it's arm penetration.

Everything is the same except it's arm penetration two, which is pretty hot. Bolters have arm penetration of zero. And a Las Canaan has arm penetration of three. And a melta gun has arm penetration of four. So hot shot, not bad. Remember the, that's not too bad? Remember in the Night Lord's books when Markarian woke up and he fired his auto cannon and blew up the Terminator?

I heard Volter fire. Yeah. The auto cannon is damage two. but it's only arm penetration one. Oh. So the idea is that the last gun still doesn't have a whole lot of strength. Doesn't have a whole lot of hitting power, but it'll pierce through basically everything.

Damn. It's very, very potent in its arm penetration power. What happens when you run out of juice on one of those hot shots? Say your backpack is just added juice. Do you just ditch the pack? Oh, that's probably why you're carrying a pistol. All right, all right. So there's no real way to reload it.

It's not like you've got another power backpack just sitting around lying in wait. Yeah, I guess you just got to pull out a regular Laz rifle and just start putting battery packs in it. One of two options. Either one, the backpack carries so much extra power due to its size that hopefully you won't run out of ammo. Or two, it just comes down to the classic, well, I'm out of ammo. Maybe if I was out of ammo for a regular gun, I'd also be fucked. It's just, I'm out of ammo. True.

But, like, at least, like, with a regular Las Reefel, like, you could probably carry a bunch of, like, battery packs on your person. Like, you can't carry an extra backpack. True, but one would argue that the backpack, in terms of just volume of space, has a similar amount of charge than the ammunition you would carry normally. Ah, that's fair, actually. You know? Yeah.

It's like when you have those guys that, like, carry around like a, like a mini gun. Sometimes it's like fed into a backpack. They're definitely carrying more bullets than the average guy with an M16 or something on his chest. But because they have a backpack of bullets. True, true, true. Fair enough.

Fair enough. Some of these Las guns, there's like the Riza pattern hotshot from the Forge World of Riza. One of the more popular ones is the Lucius pattern type 14 heavy Lasgun. which is a variant that is standard armament for the grenade squads of the Death Corps of Krieg. Hey. They're known to be unreliable.

Constantly requiring tons of maintenance. However, it's one of those things where it's like, you treat this thing right and it'll treat you right. As a much faster recharging generator, the, what was it, the surname, name or it has like a like a the bulkier barrel with like a cooling shroud a heat exchanger it has all

these things like a 4x site and even infrared optics but the the main thing is it's one of those like okay this this this is a this is a sassy bitch this this one you need to you need to give a good pat on the head and a rub on the ass and then like this you got give it give it some food give it some give it some alcohol, maybe some flowers. Like you gotta, you treat that last gun, right? And it'll do well. But if you don't, it's gonna, it's gonna shoot you and stab you in your sleep.

It does sound like a very high maintenance gun. Worth the maintenance and worth the effort, but it does, it does sound like a very high maintenance gun. I literally had that entire metaphor and then high maintenance is just the words that describe exactly what I was saying. I'm stupid. Yeah, that's okay. We all have these moments of smooth brain.

I am, uh, I unfortunately, I have, I have reached smooth brain apex. I've, I've, I've been there for a while, so welcome to the club. Uh, good, good to have you. What's it like having such a smooth brain decay? Uh, it's, it's, it's bliss. Ignorance is bliss, you know. Your insults, they just, they just slide right off. You cannot insult me. My bare brain's been replaced by a chip. Glory to the Infinite Empire.

God damn. Corpse Emperor. So, Carcass Emperor. Sometimes when we, like when we read any space marine books, they would talk about getting shot with Las Guns, and they're just like,

this fucking dull-ass stuff, because Ceramite is tough, tough armor. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know, even them, a last gun that might hit an exposed joint or a possibly, like, poor cabling that's been, after wear and terror and stress,

like there's a way where enough lasguns can absolutely bring down a marine and then some yeah that you're thinking about the idea that you have an entire lineup of guys of like tens 20 hundreds of thousands of guys all shooting lasguns down a field like it is it is a sea of red flashing lights yep that's that's the power of the lazareff like we said is there's so fucking many of them one might not be be that great, but, you know, 50,000 of them will fuck you up. Unrelated, we should do an, like, I don't know if this is a known, where the fuck does Sarah might come from?

Isn't Saramite, like, a name for adamantium that's been repurposed? Is it? Is it? Is it? That's what I was like, I was just thinking about. I was like, you know, we know a lot about space marines. Where the fuck does, where do you get Saramite from? Like, where do they, where do they mine adamantium?

How do they refine it? Like, that sounds like it'd be a good episode idea. What the fuck does Sarah might come from? Definitely not ceramic. I hope I'm not going to listen. No, no, I don't think ceramic. I don't know. I don't know, Shai's.

Maybe. Maybe you're right. I don't know. When I think of ceramic, I just think of, like, you know, ceramic art class. Shai says it might actually be ceramic. Oh.

So it's ceramite for ceramic? I don't I don't know how I feel about this I don't know how I feel about it either but hey smoothbrain comment from before checks out still let's go smooth brains shy might be right but we don't care

because we're stupid let's go let's go ignorance is bliss yeah let's fucking go I'm uh I don't know

I don't know enough about guns or an armor I literally was on Twitter just a bit ago. It's like, hey, the javelin, why is the javelin so good? It go up and then it go down. And then it's because, you know, current events have shown us that the javelin

is quite a, quite a weapon. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And I'm like, hmm, why javelin? Mm, curious. Yeah, I'm unfortunate, I'm a fake American. I know nothing about ballistics either about weaponry and guns.

and armor and all that stuff. I know literally nothing is zero. All I know is that out of all the guns I fired, the 6-5 Creedmoor is by far my favorite. It is a big bullet, and it feels really satisfying. Yeah, my favorite gun is the thorn. Gamer's gaming. Let's go.

Gamer's gaming. I remember the last gun. It actually doesn't really, it's not supposed to make like a pupae, you like zip zip zip it's supposed to make like a weird like crackling sound effect i believe oh like thunder more like like the pop of like a firework like a sparkler oh weird like the imagine imagine you know the sound in your brain when you eat pop rocks i haven't had pop rocks in like over a decade and you know exactly what i'm talking about don't you i know what you mean yeah like pop Rocks. Imagine that, but like maybe a little bit bassier and a lot louder.

Okay, that's such a weird. That is not the sound I expected them to make. I might be, I think I'm right that they make a weird sound like that, but now you've got me questioning myself. Well, whenever I think of like laser guns, I was thinking about the sound that old, like, 80s, 90s cartoons made for like laser guns, like in like Transformers. Like in, like, Or, um... Zip-s-s-b-s-b-b-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's my, that's my go-to, uh, laser-gun sounds, so...

You're the classic... Zib-D-D-Sip-D-D-Zoo. Your classic Star Wars sounds, you know? Yeah, exactly. A good old stormtrooper that can't hit the broadside of a barn with a, with a baseball. Man, broadsides are really good right now, though. Yeah. Broad sides.

That's a, that's a Tau thing, right? Yeah, the broad size. They carry their giant... Yeah, speaking of... Speaking of gigantic guns, the fucking rail rifles... Fucking railgun. But obviously, with all the patterns of Las Rifle, it's kind of cool because I imagine some gun nuts can... We know a lot about it. It can probably make their own fun custom Las Rifle for a regiment or something of that nature.

Oh, yeah. I can see some real use in that. It can be kind of neat-oh. Sure. Well, it's a hard thing, so, you know, those World War II buffs are going to really... They like that, yeah. Remember, when you're over, when you play Warham, when you're over 30, you either love the Imperial Guard and you bastes off of a real thing,

or you love to smoke meats. Hey, what if you don't like either of them? Then you're busy watching the Raiders lose. Oh, now I'm sad again. Of course, there's a last pistol, but that's just, you know, last pistol is a last pistol. There's nothing special about that one. We know what that one does.

Yeah, commissar shoot you in the back. with those. Damn, damn straight he does. Actually, commissars often carry bolt pistols. Do they?

Yeah, big chunkier weapon. They like the bolt pistol a little bit more. Okay. Is that like a pistol version of like a bolt, bolter?

I'm trying to remember to say it properly instead of bolt or, which is the warframe gun. I'm trying to get into saying bolter. Yes, it is a very into the bolter. Okay, cool.

Now, of course, the Lyas Canon, though, sees a lot more use outside of the Imperial Guard as well. The space marines carry Las Canons quite often. They either use it as a heavy weapon or like the Land Rader

has two on both sides of it. How big is a Las Cannon? Pretty large. Normally it's rolled around. Like it's the size of a person. Well, because when you were like, oh yeah, the, you know, the space marines just carry around a Las Canaan. I was like, wait a minute.

they just carry it around like what it carried on their shoulder like how big is this thing it's a very very big ass gun now of course there are larger variants of it such as the volcano lance which is would you stick on a castellan knight or the name speaks for itself volcano lance yep it is a lance of volcanic heat sure got it but the lascan itself is generally manned in the imperial garb by two guys. Like, there's a guy who carries it around, and then they set it up on a tripod, and they get it all ready.

You know, it's your classic heavy weapons team kind of group. Shai posted an image. Is that a space room? Wait, no, is that the volcano lance on that second one? Yeah, that's the night. Oh, okay. Because there was a part of me, it was like, is that a space ring

that replaced his arm with a last can? Do fuck? So fuck. Even that would be too much. The last cans are quite large, has shy as showed you a picture in that one. Yeah, yeah, okay. You really got to lug it, lug the thing.

Yeah, okay, cool. I was like, what the fuck? He has a Las Canon arm. I mean, you could do that, though. Like, on like a, on like a Termy armor, just, you know, have a Las Canon arm. That'd be cool. I feel like that would actually be a little bit,

have too much recoil. I think it would blow your arm back. It's 40K. Who cares? I mean, yes, but the use of your arm is very important. What if you need to turn a lock or punch something? What if you lose your other arm? Well, I mean, you got your last cannon arm.

Like, that's the ultimate lock pick. Right? It's fine. The ultimate lock pick. The ultimate way to get into the enemy base is not through the codes. It's through a large enough hole. Yeah, it's just the last. It's like, oh, we can't get through. I've, don't worry guys, I've got the key.

Do you? No more door. This is shenanigans. Yeah, we call him Mega Man. Yeah, the Mega Man Terminator. Yeah. The Mega Mines. Ah, it all comes full circle.

God damn. It all comes full circle. Good old Las Guns. Good old Las Guns. The tribe's guns. I don't actually have a whole lot of lot left to save on lasguns. I mean, we talked about a lot of lasguns.

I mean, we talked about the rifle. We talked about the cannon. We talked about the volcano lance and all the different patterns. We did, you know, it's the tried true. There's lots of various other versions of the laser weapons as well. There's like the Las Fusel,

which is a heavier laser weapon. There's the multi-laser, which I mentioned is the really fast-firing one. That was actually in the Astardis short. film as well. Which was kind of cool. There's like, there's a couple other things like neutron lasers and stuff, but that's some more ad mech bullshit.

There's all the hot shot, all the hot shot guns are always really fun. I love them with the, with the tempestus sions. It's good stuff. When cosplaying someone from the guard, does everybody just give themselves a hot shot because it looks cooler and it's got the cable and you got the backpack and it makes you feel more elite? Is that is that a thing? No. I mean, people, it's super cool looking, but your

standard guardsman doesn't really carry a hot shot Lasgun. Yeah, but if you're like cosplaying or making like a fanfic of your favorite character, obviously you're going to give him the good shit, right? Well, the good shit is also expensive and temperamental and high maintenance. That's fair.

These darn these darn Kriegsmen and friends. roll around with their, with their, uh, Kriegson and friends. That sounds like the worst sitcom ever.

They roll around with their fancy, fancy weapons because they're fancy and their fancy. Yeah, indeed, indeed they are with their, with their gas masks and, and all their, and all their ass beating and killing of themselves. And all their ass beating.

All right. I read the crepe book on Audible. Read the crepe book on Audible. Mm-hmm. Make sure to, to get yourself your standard flashlight. Feels good, man. Yeah, so you can read it in the dark.

Oh my God. What? What? What? You said flashlight. Can you imagine if you just took a Lasgun and you're just like, oh, damn, I can't see and just shot a bolt into the air. Ah, now I see the path. You're in a really dark-lit cave and you're just like, I can't see, and you just start firing shots forward.

Ah, there's the path. That sounds like a guardsman concept, yeah. Now we can see, just keep firing forward, take point. Yeah. This is... Multi-purpose lasgun use. This is dumb. Actual flashlight.

Flashlight being used as an actual flashlight. Let's go. All right, D.K. It's a good shit, man. I'm cutting you off. Oh, fine. Fine, my... My mom.

My long-winded... Memery is gone. I'm gonna go watch anime and cry myself to sweep. It's all right. Make sure you have a warm glass of milk for a little lazy next to you. Okay. Okay. Can you take us home now?

Can we go home now, Dad? Can we go home? I've been home. Oh. Well, we'll end the episode. Fuck you. You end the episode. Fuck you.

That's your job. What do we pay you for? What do you pay me? for? Yeah, what did they pay you for? What did they pay me for? Yeah, if not to end the episode. If not to end the episode? I think they pay me to start the episodes. I start the episodes. To create the episodes. Oh, well. To research the episodes. Well,

have a good day, everyone. I'm I'm coming to your home. I'm gonna get your walls. Ha ha ha.