Adeptus Ridiculous - THE OGRE KINGDOMS | Warhammer Fantasy Lore

Episode Date: April 20, 2025

https://www.patreon.com/AdeptusRidiculoushttps://www.adeptusridiculous.com/https://twitter.com/AdRidiculoushttps://shop.orchideight.com/collections/adeptus-ridiculousThe Ogre Kingdoms are the rightful and sovereign domains of the large, brutish and always hungry mortal race of humanoids known as Ogres. Wandering tribes of Ogres can be found wrecking their way across the globe, erecting many strongholds and plundering far off and exotic lands the likes of which no man will ever see in their lifetime. Yet no matter how far away they may be, all Ogres refer to the scattered tribal kingdoms that dominate the slopes and river valleys of the Mountains of Mourn their rightful, hard-earned homeland. It is here, amongst the frozen peaks and blistering blizzards that mighty Tyrants rule over their own brutal kingdoms, warring amongst each other, looting, extorting and ransacking all before them as a tribute to their own gluttonous appetite and their ever-hungry "god," the Great Maw.Support the show

Welcome everybody to their episode of the Realm of Ridiculous, where we talk about where all those shenanigans from 40K came from, which is thanks to that Tolkien guy. But besides that, if you enjoyed this podcast and you want to support, check out patreon.com slash Adeptus Ridiculous to get bloopers, which just happened, wonderful posters and HD, and all of the other great stuff like Discord Access too. And if you want to get some of our fantastic merch,

we have a brand new poster that just came out. It may not be fantasy related, but it is damn good. And you can also get stuff like hoodies, dice, and so on. All linked down below in the description at Orchidate. Bada Bing, Bada boom. Realest guy in the room. Let's go. Didn't even mess it up.

I'm so good. Yeah, first try. Gigi's easy, right? No deaths. First try. Wow. Stream remote activated. My brother was holding the controller.

Okay. Are you ready for today's episode of Realm of Ridiculous? Are you locked in, dialed in? Have you locked the fuck in today, Bricky? Honestly, not in the slightest. Great. Are you ready for your quote? Because it might be a little long.

I don't know. We'll see. I say that. We say that every episode. So, you know, you ready? Honestly, not in the slightest. Great. Here we go.

your quote for today bricky is oh people say they're stupid but i'll tell you this they know the clink of gold right well enough strong as bulls they are and seem to know little fear i've certainly seen them face things that would make most ordinary troops soil themselves yes they're often underestimated yes they drink and eat and bellow but until you've seen them punch through and flank a line well Well, let's just say you learn a little respect for those flabby heads of theirs. Stout mercenaries, but don't deny them their rations. They'll nod and agree, and two hours later, you'll be saying, where's the horses? Ogres?

Final answer? Yes. We are indeed doing the ogre kingdom. Yes, yes. I was thinking big dudes who eat stuff and I was thinking flab and I was like, who have we not done? Who have we not done? I have been told the ogres are like horrifying. The ogres can indeed be very, very horrifying.

They are not, they're definitely not the race you want to mess with and get on their bad side for sure. I feel like they've got the, the ogren British hooligan type thing, obviously because it's ogren. And then it's kind of, I'm getting this vibe where it's like, ogres. Okers? It's Yeah, I think I think somewhere in Possum's notes he writes

They're Shrek But not But they're Shrek but more human Looking right So they're not like Big and green They're just like big And human

And bald And they have facial hair And you know So they're you know They're ogres Yeah I mean Well you know Like Ogren in 40K

Are like their version of ogre in every other thing. So that's cool. What's this funny trailer I'm supposed to see? Oh, it's the Total War Warhammer 3 trailer for the Ogre Kingdoms, I think. Okay.

Whoa. That dude's beard. Ogers, right? Oger. All right, right. Give me a second. I gotta be honest. Like, I kind of like them.

They've got, they've got like the, almost like a sea shanty, but it's, it sounds like the kind of shit I'd see, like, belligerent British people shout for their teens at like a football game, you know? Yes, it does seem like a British sporting event gone crazy.

It's like that, it's the one, after party, yes. It's literally the meme of the job. do with the yes shy guy come on angrilyn score some fucking goals that is literally what i think i look at this and see this is this is actually great i'm so on board for this right now all right well you know what let's let's let's talk about it right let's talk about it so the origins of the ogres are a little kind of sort of unknown because the ogres are well they're illiterate and they're wild

wildly superstitious. Like, they don't super duper care about where they came from. They kind of record their history, but it's mostly just really important events, and they kind of just do like cave drawings of it. The ogres refer to their big historical events as the big times. And when it comes to their history, most ogres, like I said, they know a thing or two about it. Like, they kind of sort of know their general history, but for the most part, they don't really care. It's left far and away in the past. And really, all they care about is where's the next meal coming from? And the things that they remember most about their history usually are like the big feasts.

If there was like this really big, crazy feast, they're like, oh, yeah, I remember that. I remember when we was eating good. and the elves have a hilarious idea or theory about where the ogres came from. The elves believed that the old ones were working really hard on the ogres. They wanted to make this big, stout, strong race that could just resist chaos at every turn and could really just, boom, beat the hell out of chaos. But as the old ones were working on the ogres, they unfortunately couldn't finish the ogres because the poles exploded, right?

And all of their portals are gone. They sort of leave the fantasy world and, uh, are we never got a chance to finish the ogres. And that's why they're these big, lumbering, illiterate, dim-witted vulgar buffoons because the old ones got blasted away before they could really finish the plot. So, so the plot, at least towards to the Eldar, is literally a version of God made me unfinished. Yes, literally. God did not finish you and that's why you're so stupid. That's fantastic.

Ah, those, those cheeky elves, those cheeky elves. I'm having, I'm having a good time so far. I'm already, I'm already enjoying myself. Welcome to the Ogre kingdom. and apparently the humans think that there's actually some form of common ancestry between the ogres and the halflings. And somewhere along the way, their genetic makeup shifted and diverge them, but they have the same ancestry because they both have kind of like these weird habits.

Like halflings will steal anything that is not bolted down, and they enjoy a nice, relaxing life. and the ogres have like this weird habit of we need to eat everything and we need to like boom bunga bunga our way through our whole lives. It's also heavily implied in the lore that the ogres and halflings might also be very closely related because even though halflings are naturally very small, they're kind of on the smaller side, they kind of share a very similar physical appearance. Like if you shrunk down an ogre, kind of looks like a halfling.

and so both of them have this notion of like they also are both very strong not foolproof because you can you can get chaos ogres you can get chaos halflings but they are both very resistant to chaos apparently ogers i did not know this until possum put in the notes ogers really really don't like eating halflings and they go out of their way to make sure that they never consume halfling meat But why? Either because they don't taste good or maybe because of their common ancestry, maybe they kind of just know like, oh, don't eat that. That's not, that's no good. That's no good. Too much hair. Actually, that kind of tracks. I mean, that might track.

I mean, that kind of goes along with the vibe. Yeah. That's, I wouldn't doubt that actually. And especially from like an ogre perspective of like, we love. eating things. So of course we love good meat and it's like, oh, this mate's kinda tough, it's got all this hair on it, you know?

I buy that. And before we get too far into their history, obviously we got to talk about the sort of general appearance of an ogre. Which, I mean, I feel like if you've ever seen a movie that had an ogre in it, it's more or less the same. Like we said, they're basically like

human Shrek and not Shrek Shrek. They're big, brutish, fat, towering humanoid-ish monsters. They're over 10 feet tall and they are described to be about half as wide as their gut.

They're notably bald and they tend to have some facial hair. You can kind of see the little mustache as they're rock. And to an ogre, there is almost nothing more important than how fat they are or how big their gluttonous

gut gets. A reason being is because the bigger your gut is the more food you've eaten, the more rich and tasty meals your life has been, and nothing signals wealth, prosperity, and strength to an ogre more than just this big, round, crazy gut. And apparently, the ogre's important organs, like the survival organs for an ogre, are actually much further south on their body than a human. So literally, their gut houses like the most important organs in their body. And because of that,

there were these big steel gut plates, these big plate armors over their guts to make sure it's like properly protected. And ogre skin itself, like they, under that plate, it's also like very like thick like muscles under their gut too. So it's like this natural protection for their organs and then they wear this big steel plate. over it too. And even though they do have like these really, really big stomachs, like don't let that

fool you into thinking they're weak because under all that flab, like I said, they got like this crazy amount of muscle under there. And they're more than happy to like flex it on you because they got like these big clubbing arms that are pretty muscular. And if you get an ogre mad at you, he is more than happy to take one of those big, beefy, muscular arms and club you should. so hard that the last thing to go through your head probably going to be your knees. Yeah, you know, I was thinking like they kind of seem like they're doing more of the strong man type thing.

Yeah, kind of. Or more so, like, I guess you that sumo wrestler. Like, you know, yeah, they're really big and heavy, but they're also like really strong. Ridiculously strong. Yeah, they're over 10 feet tall, right? And it's like, you don't, you don't want that angry guy mad at you. You don't want that big boy.

Yeah, strong man too, because like, everybody's like, oh, how come strong men are like fat? And it's like, I don't know if I'd say they're fat, but like that's kind of the body type you have to have to do like these crazy power lifts, right? Like that's the body type of a power lifter, right? Yeah, I guess I'll go with more like powerlifter as opposed to Strongman. But yeah, yeah, like a really big power lift. They're always very large people. As you can imagine with all the eating, drinking and feasting they do, their breath is horrific. Like, you probably smell these guys coming a mile away just because of their breath.

And it's also pretty interesting as I was reading about the ogres that normally you'd think they would be just a very violent forward race, which, okay, they kind of are. Like, they do have this motto that they learn early, early in their life that's just like the strong may take whatever they want from the weak, even their life. but apparently ogres will not immediately resort to violence if they can help it. Like if they can actually have amicable trade, they'll totally do that first. They won't just resort to just clubbing their way through. Like if you can foster trade with them, they'll do it. They'll do it. They won't immediately just, you know, bash you over the head and, you know, kill you.

They seem more like more so short-tempered than they are like actively hostile. Definitely. definitely short-tempered. Once you get on their nerves, it's kind of over for you. But, you know, they're amicable to diplomacy. Okay. I mean, you got to... What do they trade in besides food?

I mean, they make good mercenaries, right? Like, if you can hire them to be mercenaries for you, I think that's got to be their biggest upside is they are fine warriors to have. because once you get an ogre charging, it's really hard to stop one. Sure. I got to believe they trade in being mercenaries, and you can hire them to fight and be in your army for just the right price,

and that's got to be, like, the big thing for them. Okay, so, but, like, what do they get in return? You can give them food? Food is probably the big one, but also, like any other race, sometimes they just want money. Like the quote said, They know the clink of gold right proper and there's no better soldier to have at your side

than one that's just gonna bowl its way through a flank. So. That is true. The dude was covered in gems and jewels and on a pile of gold. I guess you know, like I'm more so thinking like what are they spending that gold on? And I guess it would be food and jewels. Probably food.

And fancy shit. All right. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Very typical ogre, right? Yeah.

This is about what I was expecting it to be. but I'm so far very into it because I like the simplicity. Yeah, there are very simple people for sure. I'm enjoying the shenanigans. Mm-hmm. Now, we absolutely have to talk about their, well, I guess you would call it religion, which will get us back on track for sort of their like historical lore. So early stages, the ogres are out in the east.

and they're sort of bordering this place called Grand Cathay, which is more or less fantasies take on China. And at the start, the ogres relations with Cathay are actually like really, really good. The ogres aren't causing any big problems. Generally speaking, ogres are usually like nomadic tribe-faring people. They live off the land. At the time, these steps that they're living in have like huge yaks. that are roaming and and it gives them this great source of food, game, milk.

You know, they're, they're living, they're living great. Plenty of food, plenty of stuff to hunt. They're great. And relations are so good with Grand Cathay that the ogres, they literally teach the ogres how to use fire and just basic metalwork. No, no, China. No, don't you know the story of Prometheus? Well, we'll kind of get to that, actually.

Because, like, relations are so good, and the ogres are so amicable to, you know, just peaceful negotiations that not only do they teach the ogre's fire and basic metal work, Grand Cathay's like, hey, why don't we recruit the most intelligent ogres and the most diplomatic ogres into our imperial army? and why not, right? You'd be foolish not to take advantage of such an insanely powerful fighting force if you could convince them to do so. And they're ogres. How hard is it to convince these dim-witted ochres to fight for you? You'd probably just offer them a few extra rations of food, and they're probably good for it. There is kind of an issue with that because there's a lot of ogre tribes that start showing up

in Cathay, because there's a lot of ogre tribes that start showing up in Cathay, because they start getting word that, oh, hey, it's good eating over here. And, you know, oh, man. And while the initial tribes were like, they were agreeable, they're open to diplomacy. And they're like, oh, yeah, the ogres are helping us because they're fighting in the army. We're helping them because we're teaching them, you know, we're teaching them about fire, metalwork. We're equipping them. We're feeding them.

And it's, oh, this is great. Wonderful. As time goes on, it turns out that the Grand Cathay had pretty much integrated most of the sort of reasonable and intelligent ogres. So all that's left in the steps are just really stupid, aggressive, heavily armed ogres. And these stupid aggressive ogres are teaching all of the newly-armed ogres. are teaching all of the newly arriving ogres, all the secrets of fire and metalwork. And so, you know, in Warhammer,

peace doesn't usually last very long. And these amicable relationships don't usually last very long. And suddenly peasants in sort of the bordering area of Grand Cathay were like, huh, you know, I could have sworn we had way more kids working the rice fields just a little while ago. Seems like the numbers are going down or something. Oh, no. Yeah, and wouldn't you believe it?

Suddenly, the ogres are like, mm, we sure do love the taste of human flesh for some reason. Lots and lots of peasants and peasant children are going missing in the rice fields. Lots of bones, stripped of meat are showing up. And oopsie poopsie, the ogres are eating people now. I'm just immediately, I like, look at like a 15 year old version of me just had like a, like a mental awakening when you said that. And I immediately went back to the filthy Frank clip where he's like, welcome to the rice fields motherfucker. But it just has a picture of an ogre on his face instead.

Oh, yep. I just, I don't know. For some reason, I just like, it awakened that the old edgy YouTube part of. of my brain and then they got there. But anyway, I mean, you know, maybe they should have left those peasants with some guards. Yeah, but they're peasants. And this is like fantasy realm China. Can I say that Grand Cathay's new models are like the sickest things ever?

Oh, did they just get some new minis? Their faction got released. Oh, for old worlds. Oh, was that the one with like the big like, I don't know why. I thought those were, like, maybe, I don't know what faction I thought those were. But yeah. And they have like these big like suits of armor, I think, right?

Yeah, they have a terracotta sentinels. And they have like giant hot air balloons. It's so like lantern air balloon ships. It's so cool. Oh, those are really cool. Yeah. Garrett keeps trying to get me to play Old World. He's like, he's like the only person I know who plays it and he loves it to death.

And he keeps trying to get people in. to it and I keep telling him no. And I saw the Grand Cathay and I'm like, oh, maybe I'll buy myself at least one terracotta Sentinel. Maybe a taste. Maybe a taste. Maybe it's a little treat. I was going to say, hey, Garrett, if you're listening, it's working. Keep pushing. Keep pushing.

He's trying to get me into that. He's also trying to get me into magic. And if I'm going to, if I'm going to break on one of those, I'm going to break on magic. Really? I didn't think you would break on magic. I haven't yet. Because I was going to say, as as successful as you are, trying to do

Warhammer and magic. I don't... I don't know, man. I don't know if there's enough... I don't know if there's enough money in North America to cover that. I mean, but like, I want to play slivers.

I don't know what slivers are. It's fine, that's matter. Let's continue. Oghers! Oghers! So, ogres are now eating peasants and peasant children in the rice fields. And in what seemed like

a response to this sudden shift in ogre's killing and eating the peasants of Grand Cathay, this big burning light showed up in the sky. And look, there is no proof that this big burning light was something that Grand Cathay did. But most people believe it is due to, oh boy, this guy's got a name, the Grand Cathay's Celestial Dragon Emperor, Jen Huang, and his astromancers. But everything about it is very vague. There's no, you know, there's no confirmed evidence that he and his astromancers had anything to do with it other than, wow, the timing on this is just very, very convenient.

So at first, probably doesn't seem like it's much to worry about, right? The ogre's like, oh, there's a new twinker in the sky. Not a big deal. But as time goes on and as days pass, this light, in the sky just keeps getting bigger and bigger and bigger until this thing is as big as moons. It is bigger than even that creepy-ass warpstone moon more slib. And soon, this crazy burning celestial body would get so big and so close. Apparently, at night, this thing made it look as if it were as bright as day.

Quote describes it as it is a corona of silky, green light shown as a comet daily growing closer and fanciful observers even claimed that the new celestial body had a face or more accurately a mouth. Do they make sure to add a lime

to it? A lime to it? Like a lime and a coconut? Corona. Corona Oh no. My bad. All right. Of course. Of course. I'll be here all we folks. that the lime isn't even in the corona for taste?

I mean, it does add a little bit of taste, but it wasn't it supposed to keep the flies away or something? See, I can't tell if that's actually true or not. I believe it might be, but I don't know if someone just made that up. And we were like, oh, that makes sense. I mean, it's kind of like Mendel of it. I don't know. Yeah, that does feel like a Mandela thing.

Because I'm sure it makes it taste better, right? Because a little squeeze of lime is always going to do good. But, like, I could also be like, oh, yeah, lime, citrus. I'll keep the flies away. Sure. Anyway, not important. important thing is this big celestial body boom crashes right smack dab into the very heart of the ogres territory if you were an ogre anywhere near the impact site you were basically vaporized and the once lush fertile steps of the ogres was smote to ash well actually if it was just smote to ash that probably would have have been better because apparently the area turned into just this wasteland covered in toxic mists

and sandstorms, which I have to assume the toxic mists mixed with the sandstorms and you probably had like these crazy like sand tornadoes that were full of toxic venom and swirling death. If you looked into the crater, you could see that whatever that celestial body was had crashed into the ogres home and it had dug itself into the very ground. It was just there. We'll come back to that in just a minute. The only ogres that would survive this crazy event were the ones that were on the very, very edge of the blast zone. And man, it sucked to be one of these surviving ogres. Some of them might have even wished that they had died in the initial impact because you can probably see the writing on the wall of what happens when it's like,

Oh, yeah, we don't have any food. We're all really hungry. Our homeland is just a wasteland. Boy, how can we feed each other? I'm starting to guess that maybe peasants weren't enough. No, no. Well, they can't even get to Grand Cathay. They can't even get to the peasants anymore.

Oh, true. Because there's like this big, all of these, this sandstorm actually kicked up this toxic barrier. They can't even get to Grand Cathay. There's no animals, no peasants in fertile land, but they got to eat. Wait, is there other factions near them or are you setting up like a they're killing each other type thing? They're killing and eating each other. Ah, okay. I was like, I thought there was the situation where it was like, oh, the empire is right there.

And they're like, lock eyes. Okay, no, okay. So, yeah, they start infighting and they start eating each other. Yeah, they start resorting to cannibalism and they start picking off the weak ones. And, you know, it's kind of around this time that their appetite. basically become insatiable. And the ogres believe that this is a curse that was put upon them by this crazy celestial,

but they think that this is an angry deity, an angry, vengeful deity that has cursed them with insatiable hunger. There's a quote that goes, to the ogres, it seemed that a vengeful deity had fallen upon them, consuming all before it, a great and terrible maw that existed pure,

purely to feed. Thus, the insatiable and merciless god of the ogres was born, for the ogres had finally found something to fear. From that day on, the ogres were completely enshralled to their appetites. Their hunger, always a defining characteristic of their race, became unnaturally pronounced, and the great maw gnawed at their souls. Nice. So, they think that this god has like cursed them, insatiable hunger. I'm not sure how related this is, but it does kind of make sense that this is when their hunger starts going out of control, because they're also like cannibalizing themselves, they're eating a lot of ogre meat. And if you remember our Greenskin episode, and again, there is nothing that necessarily proves that the, you know, the emperor or the Grand Cathay

and their astramancers had anything to do with this, but everybody believes that so. And apparently, and I remember writing in my script, I was like, you know, I don't know too much about the astramancers. We haven't touched on Grant Cthay yet, but oh, man, if it is lore accurate that they could make something like this happen, boy, I wouldn't fuck with Grand Cothay, but at all. And my clarification note was, spoiler alert,

they are capable of a hell of a lot more. And I'm like, excuse me? Hmm. What? What? They're capable of more than just a cataclysmic, catastrophic meteor slamming down into the earth? Honestly, at this point, power levels be damned. Power levels do indeed be damned.

So kind of excited for a Grand Cathay episode. Anyway, a sort of silver lining to this happening was that although, like, two-thirds of the ogre population had been blinked out of existence and a fiery catastrophe. It meant that any ogre still hanging around had to be an absolute fucking monster. They'd have to be strong enough that their peers could not

pick them off for a meal. They'd have to be strong enough to conquer the weak lynx and eat them. And even though we've had a long way to go for their religion, this is sort of where we start like really getting into it. Because the ogres that survived, they sort of

looked towards the crater where the celestial body had burrowed itself. And like I said, they viewed this as a vengeful god, an angry, insatiable deity, someone that they had angered and they were now suffering its wrath. There are tales of an ogre named Groth One Finger. And he had taken his tribe through the barren hellscape that used to be these eastern steps of Grand Cathay. And Grothfinger, wanted to look upon this new God for himself. He wanted to take his tribe to the impact site and offer a proper sacrifice, probably thinking that maybe if they offered enough, they could satisfy this angry deity and they could get back

in its good favor. And so they make this trek through the toxic wasteland. Groth's tribe is getting kind of culled because this is a horribly difficult journey to make anything that is surviving in this area is just crazy like there are razor insects that are just eating people alive that if there's an animal there it is more than capable of taking down an ogre but they finally make it and what they see leaves them in sort of stunned awe because when they look in the crater here is literally the quote of what they saw the gaping hole that stretched before groth was immense, like some newly grown inland sea, except there was no water within,

only empty and plummeting blackness. Its edge was filled with ridge upon ridge of jagged teeth and rippling, convulsing muscles that stretched down into vast nothingness. Here was a gullet so bottomless it could swallow the ogre race into oblivion and still hunger for more. It exists there even now, a vile, pulsing God visited upon the face of the world by the vengeful heavens. This geographical horror is known to the ogres as the great maw. And they revere it to this day, for it must have been mighty indeed to devour so many in such a short time. The geographical maw. The geographical horror.

the great maw. And to me, if you're into Star Wars at all, this sounds like the Sarlack pit to me, but on just an infinitely larger scale. So the Great Ma is kind of a weird thing. I couldn't find a ton on it, save for the fact that the Great Ma is not a chaos god. And it's not aligned with chaos.

Because the ogres are continuously worshipping it, But it's not turning them into like chaos ogres, because chaos ogres are a completely and totally different thing from the great moth. Chaos ogres happen when an ogre wanders too far into the north, sort of into Norseka territory. And even though ogres are built to like be really resistant to chaos, being too close to the source can even taint an ogre and twist it into just this mutated chaos ogre, which I think corn particularly, is really fond of. So it's not really a chaos thing. And I saw some speculation online that it's almost, it almost feels like an orc thing where so many ogres now believe in the Great

Ma that all of their belief has actually kind of made some sort of deity like the Great Ma exist in the Warp. There is also the very real possibility that the Great Ma'a is just a scary looking hole with jagged rocks on the edges of it. Like all of the references to the meteor having teeth could just be like, it's a meteor that crashed. And so that's just debris from the meteor crashing on the edges of it. You know, something extremely traumatic happened to a whole species of not very

reasonable and not very smart creatures. So they might think it looks like a maw. They might think it actually is a maw, but like, they're also kind of stupid. So it could just be, you know, meteor crushed. And it's just the impact side of it. And the ogres have formed a literal death cult about eating everything instead of going to therapy. I mean, I don't know, man. If you were like looking at that, I would be like, damn, dude, they looks like a maw.

Like, if I were to see the mall, I would look at it and be like, yeah, man, that's a maw. that do look like a maw And also who's the son of a bitch They decided to build like a little Bunch of scaffolding next to it Well I mean It is their gods So I could see some crazy death

Call being like Oh yeah we gotta be close to the god Let's build some scaffolding here Let's build some homes here This is literally our god You know This is the Mecca I would assume that would want to be

A little bit farther away than there But all right fair Fair enough That is true and there is, there's, there are definitely ogres that are just like, nope, I want to be as far away from that thing as possible. They probably forced some quarians to build it.

Oh, me doing, me looking at doing all the Lisa and Al-Gaiib, me, me, an intellectual, Kila Sala. Oh, boy. Yep, regardless of if it actually is a mall, if you actually should be scared of it, whatever, of this mall has persisted for generations. And the belief is that it certainly does have some

sort of impact in the fabric of reality. I mean, it looks like a big alien mouth. And it sure do. It sure do. It really do. And I do just the tiniest bit wonder what part of this type of thing were we, where we're looking at? Was GW like, here's how we're going to add like a T-Earnet faction to the old world area? Or was it going to be, hey, we like the Sarlack Pit. Here's the Sarlake Pit. Because they do that stuff too.

So that's why I'm a little bit like, oh, which one will it be? Which one will it be? You know, I don't know if I've just become jaded to GW just taking references from stuff. I'm thinking it's the Sarlack Pit thing, honestly. They watch Star Wars and they're like, man, that Sarlac Pit sure is cool.

It'd be great if we had one. I'm, I'm one. I'm wondering if they're doing both, though, you know, like... Oh, yeah, it could be both. I don't know. They want to do like, oh, here's the bug tyrannid version from 40K now in fantasy, because it's a bunch of bugs and bugs can be bugs. Yeah.

But regardless, it is... I mean, that is a cool pit. That is a very cool pit, yeah. Now, the other problem was that the ogres could, like I said, they could no longer venture towards Grand Cathay towards the east, because all of that toxic barf that kicked up from the impact basically made an impassable toxic barrier. So if the ogres were going to look for a new home,

they'd need to venture to the west where they had never been before. And honestly, ogers are in general kind of prone to being nomadic anyway, so this was kind of a return to their sort of natural state. They had to survive off the land, they had to be nomadic, they kind of prefer that anyway. Ogres are heading west into these mountains called the ancient giant lands, which are essentially just savagely cold mountains that have like constant ice storms, avalanches, and are teeming with all manner of huge savage beasts that are more than capable of flattening and dragging an ogre away as prey.

And possum said, I have to mention saber tusks, which are just saber-tooth tigers, but you know how saber-tooth tigers have those big saber teeth on the top of their mouth? Yeah, that tends to be what gives them their name. Yeah, saber tusks actually have them on the bottom, and they sort of come up in the most impractical way you've ever seen in your life. It's silly, it looks dumb. I don't know how they don't just impale themselves on their own teeth. So, again, the ogre's numbers are dwindling as they climb these mountains. And once they get to the mountaintop, what they see is almost like paradise. There are these titanic fortresses that were basically built into the mountains.

And these fortresses housed a race known as the Sky Titans. And the Sky Titans, very reclusive. And this mountain top is so far above the rest of the people. on the planet that the sky titans literally have forgotten that other species even exist. Damn. Okay. Yeah. And the sky titans are very, very reclusive. They have never, but never united under one banner. The sky titans in these just incomprehensibly large fortresses also have these massive herds, just these giant herd animals. and the ogres are like, oh, finally, some good fucking food.

That was really good, man. I don't know. That was just really good. Thank you. I watch a lot of next level chef in Hell's Kitchen, you know. Problem was these herd animals were absolutely massive, like these massive mammoths. Like the ogres would, they would try and claim these big herds for them. themselves, but they keep getting squished.

Think they see some predator animals do this, and what they start doing is instead of trying to take out the whole hurt all at once, they would instead isolate like one of them, one of the herd, the weakest one, the weakest one, surround it, overwhelm it, and then just be like, oh, nice, we slew the mighty beast, and oh, man, look at all this food, look at all this flesh. And so the ogres would keep doing this over and over again until the sky titans are like, hey, where's all my food? Where's all my herd? What the hell?

And so the sky titans start attacking the ogres. And the sky titans have some really great defenses. They have cannons on their forces. They have wild herd animals that they can sick on them. The sky titans themselves start attacking because they're huge. So they just start stepping on the ogre, squishing them. pounding them, all that sort of. But the biggest problem the Sky Titans faced

was that, unfortunately, for them, the numbers game was vastly in the ogre's favor. Like, even after all of the people that the ogres had lost, it was still like hundreds of ogres. And like we said, the Sky Titans are so reclusive. They've never banded together. They've never fought under the same banner. So each sky titan is trying to fight off literally hundreds of ogres all by themselves.

So even though the sky titans are so much bigger, they can't overcome the numbers advantage. And the ogres just start killing the sky titans one by one. They fill their bellies with the spoils of victory in the massive sky titan fortresses. And naturally, if the sky titans that were conquered were still alive, well, the ogres do indeed eat everything. I mean, I'm starting to see a slight problem with the ogre's mentality. Mm-hmm. Well, if they try to eat everything, what happens when there's not many things to eat anymore?

Well, they're nomadic. They just move on until they find something else to eat. What happens when they get hungry and they have less than cordial relationships with a particular species? Om-nom, num, numb, numb. All right. That's what that's, all right. I'm just like... They just eat. I'm just making sure that I'm correct in this manner.

Yeah, pretty much. Okay, because my official thought is a very simple, like, I feel like this is going to end up with a problem eventually. And now I'm feeling pretty correct. Well, you know. But so the ogres have ravaged the Sky Titans domain. And the further and further they move into Sky Titan territory, the larger and larger the Sky Titans were.

and the more meat the ogres could devour. And apparently the oldest of the sky titans are so big and so large that it was as if they were ingrained into the very mountains themselves. It was like the fortress was, they were just ingrained in it. Like they had always been there built

on a mighty mountainous throne. And so the ogres would pretty much just, essentially they just, extincted the sky titans, ate as many as they could, and once they were done with the sky titans, this is called the War in the Sky, by the way. And you might think, okay, so they must have a lot of skytight meat hanging around.

The fortresses are full, they have heard, surely they're just going to stay here, live in the clouds away from the world, right? Wrong. So they decide, The surviving Sky Titans fled and became alcoholics from this real. Wow. Yeah. I mean, that tracks.

Yeah, I'd go with that, definitely. Yep. So the ogres, they're kind of happy to chill here for a while, but apparently they literally start feeling the effects of altitude sickness. And the other problem that happens is that while they're all kind of chilling here, apparently the dust kicked up from the formation. of the Great Maugh, like, manages to somehow get up into these mountains, and it sort of settles in the mountains. And apparently the ogres see this dust and they're like, oh, oh, hey, oh, I know where that dust came from.

That's from the Great Ma. Oh, oh, no, no, no, no, we got to move. The Great Ma knows, nope, nope, mm-mm. As Possum puts it, they could tell the dust was from the formation of the formation of the maw so the dust was pulling a eustace from Curds the Cowardly Dog and going Oogabouga booga and scaring them away. Nice. A reference I can understand.

Everybody should understand it. If you've never seen Courts of the Cowardly Dog, please watch it. I do not know how it did not horrifically scar me as a child because some of the scary faces or scared faces that courage makes are just, it's kind of a scary show. All right? That's all I'm saying. You see, though, courage was during the. the SpongeBob days and therefore you seeing courage but not SpongeBob is like a bit of a, you know, it's, it would, should it surprise me that you had not seen courage, it would have made sense.

Oh, no, I just, I just, honestly, it just SpongeBob never did it for me, man. That's fine. It's all right to be wrong. Loved courage. Love courage, though. You have, D.K. has, has been forgiven by the SpongeBob community for his thoughts on courage, the cowardly dog. How do you know it didn't you became an anime fan? Well Return the slab So the ogres pack up and they decide to head west again

But here's I have to mention this part because man This is the most GW being GW moment ever So while most of the ogres do decide to pack up and leave Some of the ogres were like well that's stupid This place is nice and I'm staying And as it would happen the ogres that stayed, they ended up kind of sort of devolving into these sort of feral creatures that would become covered in white fur with long talons.

And do you know what these new feral ogres covered in white fur high atop of frigid mountainous snowscape were called, Bricky? Frid ogres at a tall... Very feral, covered in fur, long talons, not too many of them, very strong. snowy, despicable mountains. What do you think they were called? Like the, like the, oh God, what the hell is it called? The snow monster thing.

The abominable, you're right there. The abominable snowman. Close. Here's how it's spelled. They are, they are what is known as the Y-H-E-T-E-E-S. Can't Games Workshop spell a normal word normally? Never change. Me joining the Necron's sand tech dynasty.

That's really just sand. Okay, so yeah, Yeti's got it. And Possum gave me this fun fact. In the Codex, the Yetis, they are referred to as abominable creatures as well. Ah, dang it. I was so close. You were right there. You were right there.

But anyway, so the ogres would indeed venture further west into a place called the Mountains of morn, where they would conquer and drive out green skins, scavin, and dwarf-alike to claim the mountains as sort of their official, this is sort of where they get the name Oger Kingdoms. This is where the Ogar Kingdoms now are. And they picked these mountains because apparently the air was much more flavorful, and there was just, it was teeming with hunting grounds and wild animals. Like, they had a lot of game to hunt and eat. And it should be noted that while the mountains of Morn are sort of like the home base of the ogre kingdoms, again, the ogre tribes are very nomadic.

They love to move around. It's just, it's kind of in their blood to be like a nomadic tribe. And there's even like this sort of ogre saying that's like, if you stay in one place too long, the sky will fall on you. So it's very rare that an ogre tribe doesn't kind of roam around. for a bit. And since we're already going kind of long, there are a lot of battles and a lot of notable characters in the Ogre Kingdom, but we are doing just a brief introduction to the Ogre Kingdom. I am sure we'll do a future follow-up episode about epic battles and epic people, but again, since we're going a little long already, we'll do a little talky-talkie about

some other stuff that makes the Ogre Kingdom so unique and cool. So like we said before, the ogre kingdoms are usually led by the biggest, fatest, and strongest ogre, who is typically referred to as the overtirant. At current, the over tyrant is a rather rotund ogre named Greasus Goldtooth. His full name, however, is Trade Lord, Greasius, Tribe Steeler, Drake Crush, Gate Crasher, Hordemaster,

Goldtooth, the shockingly obese. Such is the power of the gash. Such is the power. of Nagash, exactly. Holy. Oh, wait, are that a bunch of like goblins carrying him around? That might indeed be a bunch of, yeah, a bunch of knobblers is actually what they're called, who we will talk about in a little bit.

Nob. But yeah, he's, he's a big boy. He is a big boy. He's, uh, okay. So is that, okay, this might seem like a strange question, but like, is there a point where they become so obese and they become like less powerful because they can't move enough? If they, if it has ever happened, I don't know about it. From everything I've heard about ogre is just the bigger you are, the stronger you are, the more respected you are, the more revered you are, and the more people do not fuck with you.

All right. Fair. Fair enough. He's just a big, he's a big dude. That is a big lad indeed. And directly under the overt tyrant are just, you know, your regular tyrants that rule over their tribes. And with over tyrants, even though they are the most powerful in the ogre kingdom, they obviously don't have total control over like every ogre tribe. Because the tribes are kind of, they're like a little more on the independent side, but there is like zero opposition to him. He might not be able to tell everyone exactly what to do,

and they might not listen to him, but every tyrant and every ogre is afraid of him. Particularly Goldtooth, he is apparently one of the very few that has subjugated like a good chunk of the kingdoms under his control. Maybe not all of them, but he's got a lot of people under his beck and call. And as the name might indicate, tyrants are not super nice ogres, and they're all known to strike fear into their underlings

with violent abuse to keep them in line. Also, Possum wanted me to make note that a vast majority of male ogres are known as bulls. Oh. Which is fun, fun fact, I suppose. Can they help us out with the market? Hey, boom,

nothing can help us with the markets. Finance joke, yay. Hey, hey, hey, hey. There's this little blurb about how they coined this phrase, that'll cost you an arm and a leg, right? We have this phrase, so to the ogres. And it's an amusing little anecdote, so I wanted to share it. Is it because it's taken a little more literally? Actually, yeah, it is taken a little more. So apparently it is straight up titled The Source's Absolute Violence, and here is the direct quote for how they got

the term, that'll cost you an arm and a leg. Over tyrants are bullies of the first. And degree, and unleashing abrupt violence helps them keep an iron rule over their tribe. A common tradition amongst tyrants is to pull a limb or two off anyone who offends them, such as those who speak too much or any ogre that accidentally eats one of the tyrant's favorite knobblers. The commonly used phrase, that'll cost you an arm and a leg, stems from this practice. The arms or legs in questions are most often eaten, but sometimes tyrants use. them to bludgeon the offender. The ogre tyrant Malbob Mountain Masher even earned the name Big Arm after pulling a giant's

arm out during a friendly dispute. From that day on, Malbob used the massive limb as a club. Until it started going off, that is. Then he ate it. Wait, what do you mean going off? Like rotting? Yeah, well, it's the arm of a giant. That thing is starting to rot.

It's probably getting squishy and soft. soft and smelly and can't really use a decaying arm as a club anymore and well golly you don't want to waste meat i've never heard the phrase going off to define rotting before so oh it's a very british thing okay then yeah that makes a lot more sense yeah yeah are the ogres like orks where they're just kind of like oh zog my arm or is it or is that like a genuine like horrible horrifying horrible thing that happened to them because like Like, is it common practice? Because the ogres seem, you know, not the most kind, but they don't seem like just completely like orc.

I must kill and I must beat everything ever, forever. You know, to me, it does seem way more, it does seem way more green skin. Like, if I, if I had to guess, I got to think it's green. I was like, oh, shit, me, um, this, this is not great. Yeah, I don't know if it, because it, it, like you said, it seems like it's so common that like surely they've got to be used to it everybody expects it especially if you like screw up so i would i would say it's more along the lines of like the the green skin of like oh sog me on shit you know all right all right that's i i can't quite tell because they do it so often so

it's like oh is this just like uh it's so common that eventually just will happen it's like yeah and shy said i like this quote from a tyrant tyrant we threatened to their bones up to make bread if they didn't pay. Of course, that's just a threat. It takes too long to grind them and most of this lot are just happy to eat them raw. Yeah. So, you know, yummers, bro. Yummers. That there's not a threat. That there's a promise. Mm-hmm. Also, generally speaking, if you are an ogre and you're kind of fed up with like a tyrant or an over-tireant and you're just like, oh, I'm sick of it. I'm going to challenge you. I'm going to challenge you for the right to rule.

They have something that is called a guts out challenge, where the challenger and ruler must fight, but they fight without their prized gut plates, and they fight to the death. And the victor is expected to feast on the loser's guts. And should the tyrant or overturant be slain, then naturally, to the victor go the spoils. and they become the new overtirate. However, oh, go ahead. I was considering how big some of the chief tyrants are, I imagine it may be like a fool's errand to try to fight them like that.

Kind of. That was sort of the next point is like since the tyrants and over tyrants are typically the biggest and the strongest, normal ogres don't really have much chance against them. But what tyrants and over tyrants have to worry about is their own bloodline. Since they're so big, the only people that are going to have a chance against them

are like their own kin, their own bloodline, their own children overthrowing them, which is apparently like a super common normal thing to happen. And there are tyrants and overtirants that will literally fight and eat their own kin after bloody combat, if challenged for the throne. And if it was a good fight, that tyrant or overtorant will be,

they'll like brag, about it. They're like, oh, yeah, Markine was so strong that gave me a good fight before I ate them. That being... Sorry, I'm just... It's just the classic, like, nice. He ate his friend. Well, I'm very... Not just his friend, his child. His kids. Yeah.

That being said, they do have like normal pit fights that they do just for sport. They have something called a gut barging matches, which... sounds weird, but essentially it's just ogre sumo wrestling, and you've kind of got the basic feel of gut barging down. And while these are generally, generally for sport, it does, they do sometimes do this to decide who gets first dibs on eating a defeated enemy, or who gets the first bite of an enemy soldier, and, you know, for fun, the winner is also usually allowed to eat a piece of the loser. Usually just some fingers,

an ear, a nose, or something like that. So it's not the end of the world. It's not great, but at least it's not a guts out challenge where you literally die and have your insides feasted on. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure it's just like, oh, oh, Zog, my pinky.

Oh, no. Yeah. Or, oh, Zog, my nose. Sheesh. No, I don't have to smell you. You did me a five. You know, stuff like that. And, uh, typically, these sorts of pit fights will happen during like these really large sort of religious feasts called the great feast these feasts like i said literally religious events there is nothing more important than the eating of a defeated foe uh it is the ultimate showing of dominance over another being

and i was reading that it is also how they how they best try to emulate the great maw that they fear so much They have these great feasts to sort of commune with the great maw, to emulate the great maw. Also, the most honored ogres are usually placed sort of around the fighting pit, and they've got like their maw tooth. The maw tooth is like this sort of little stone that has their tribe sigil on it. And when they're placed around the fighting pit, it's supposed to look like teeth for the great maw. So they literally make the fighting pit look as if it is the great maw and the contenders inside. are being like kind of devoured by it.

That's cool. That's a cool way to mix tradition with like the culture and everything. Yeah. And the great feast can only be called by an overtire. And he is the only one that can call one of these. And the highest ranking ogre from every tribe will go out of their way to make it to this feast and drag along like the, the biggest, largest game that they can find. And we'll, we'll talk about some of the things they, they bring to these. feasts in a minute. But another quick thing to note, obviously, these feasts can last for weeks and weeks, but there is also, so there's something very specific about these great feasts as it

relates to deities, because you've got the great maw, but also in the center of the mountains of morn, there's like this really big active volcano. It's called the fire mouth. And the ogres believe that this volcano is like the offspring of the great maworn. There's a lot. And the ogres believe that the great maw and the sun having a child. And the volcano has these priests known as fire bellies. And they're like sort of their own offshoot breed of cultists that warn about, oh, the angry firemouth. Because again, volcano is super active.

It's going off all the time. So these priests are like, oh, you got to worry about your firemouth? And there are great feasts that are held in its shadow. And the issue with these great feasts is that. that the feast is made up almost entirely of meat because it's in it's in it's like right next to a volcano perfect place to cook up some mate and apparently in these great feasts near the volcano there are a lot of deaths in a way that you wouldn't expect because one of the things about ogre culture is one of the most heretical sins an ogre can do is refuse food

if an ogre is too full to eat and refuses any more in especially in the shadow of one of their gods you are literally sentenced to death that's if you are honestly not surprising to me yeah and and when i say they are sentenced to death like with the fire volcano thing the ogre that refuses food is hoisted up the slopes of the volcano and quite literally thrown into the goddamn thing. Honestly, I'm actually just surprised they don't eat them. I actually am kind of surprised about that too. I'm surprised they don't just like cook him up and then just eat them.

It's such a them thing to do. It's just like, they cook him up and like, yeah, I assume it's like, oh, he refused food. He's not even good enough to eat. Oh, true, true, true, true. apparently also another way that a lot of ogres die is they don't want to you know they don't want to be a heretic they don't want to get thrown into the volcano so there are ogres that have had their stomachs get so distended that they literally die and their stomach just bursts and that is just all she wrote for that poor ogre so possum wrote these great feasts result in a lot of deaths because of a combination of the volcano sweats and literally and literally the meat sweats. I don't love that. It's giving me seven vibes.

Ooh. And if you ever have to say the words, this is giving me seven vibes, then that's a problem. Not great. Yeah, that is a big problem. Yep. John Doe has the upper hand, indeed, indeed.

And of course, when you attend one of these great feasts, like I said, you try to bring the most impressive kill that you can. The biggest, most impressive thing, you can feast upon. And here is a quote from one of the Codex books that outlines some of the meals and some of the dishes that you might find at one of these ogre great feasts. Steaming platefuls of cave beasts with raw Bretonian in wild garlic, tough dwarf meats served in grom real case, thick sausages stuffed with the finest empire soldiery and widely seen. as a delicacy, tender elf legs fried in horse blood.

This is usually washed down with ogre beer, a thick, viscous, and foul concoction with equal quantities of honeycomb and hornet swinging in its murky depths. Ogre beer is toxic enough to hospitalize a dwarf and is commonly taken from a drinking horn snapped from the skull of a beast the owner has killed himself.

I love this because it's very Hanibal-coated. It makes me think of the Mads-Michelson Hannibal and all the stuff he would cook. And it's like, ah, I remember this well. Also, most tribes aren't like super friendly with each other. Like, because ogres are always kind of struggling for food, they're just like, oh, this is just more competition for my food. Sometimes, ogre tribes will band together against the common foe, especially if the over-tirant is around, the tribes, tend to unite around him because ogres, they're kind of like orcs in the sense that they will always follow the biggest,

strongest ogre there is, and since there is none stronger than the overtirent, none bigger, none with as big of a good is the overtirant, they'll usually follow him. But as far as how ogres go to war, it's kind of what you would expect from big, hulking, muscular 10-foot-plus-tall monsters. they form up in lines, they charge forward, and they pretty much just hit shit as hard as they can.

Obviously, they're big hulking monsters, so they don't move super fast, but then again, they don't really need to. They can absorb an absolutely insane amount of punishment, so it's in general really hard to stop them once they start charging towards you, and once they reach your lines, they are going to crash, smash, and bow,

break whatever gets in their way. And then when they're done crushing you underfoot, they're probably not only going to loot anything of value, they're probably also going to eat you because, you know, ogre's got to eat. Ogress got to eat. Not only that, but aside from just the ogres, you also have to deal with whatever crazy-ass monsters

from the mountains they decided to bring along with them. And also, their creepy little nobler servants that are also this really big part of their fighting force. And noblers are more or less goblin slaves. Knoblers were originally around in the darklands, and they fled from the chaos dwarves and found their way to the mountains of Morn. And they like the ogres because, you know,

at least with the ogres, they have purpose. They're not really getting enslaved. They're not getting immediately killed. And the ogres usually find a knoblar that they like, really take a liking to, you know, and to sort of mark their knobler. They will either, they'll, they'll bite a chunk of the knoblar's ear off to be like, this one, this one's mine. How do you, how do you know who bit whose knoblar?

Oh, because that's my point mark right there. I can't, I can't, I can't say no to that, I guess. That's me by Mark, obviously. All right, I'm looking too deep into it. It's very surface level. It just is. Yeah. And also, generally speaking, the knobler begins to act like an exaggerated version of the ogre that bit a part of its ear off.

And the ogres will generally speaking, more or less protect ones that they've claimed. they get kind of, they start growing really attached to like their little knoblar to the point where they'll be like, oh yeah, mine is greener than yours, oh, mine has a droop your nose than yours, and oh, mine is so much better than yours. Sometimes they'll take a knobler, they will tie it to a wooden log, and then they'll hold it up to their back so that the knobler can scratch a particularly tough to reach spot on their back. There is also, they have this saying that's very similar to one saying we have.

It's, I wouldn't trust a knoblar as far as I can throw him, which is apparently a very real thing that they do. And this is sort of why ogres prefer smaller knoblars, because they actually do have literal, legit knoblar hurling contests. And the bigger your knoblar, the less well you can compete in the knoblar throwing contest. So I wouldn't trust a knoblar as far as I can throw him. If you're a big, meaty, chunky knoblar, I can't throw you very far. I can't trust you.

You're not letting me compete. Damn, what is wrong with you? Knoblars. I mean, it sounds like a lot like a general goblin Gretchen type vibe. Yeah, pretty much. But ironically, ironically more treated better, which is so funny. Also, really, they're too stringy to eat. Yeah, I was just going to get into that shy.

The main reason why knobblers are kept around is because knobler meat is awful and tasteless. So they are literally the lowest of the low and are kept around because they're just not a great food source. Also, for an ogre, if you are seen eating a knoblar, oh, you. You just became one of the low status ogres. It is seen as like just the most shameful thing to do is to be like, oh, you're eating a nobler? How desperate are you? So it's like a riseless sign, like no bitches?

Yep, yep, yep. Okay. It's like if they see you eating British food in America. Oh, no. I like a good fish and chips. I like a good chip. That's true. Fish and chips is really good, to be fair.

I don't got much past that, but, you know. Hot take, beans on toast is not as bad as Americans make it out to be. I don't think Americans make it out like you're a red coat if you eat it. I just think it's bad. Yeah, it's fine. It's, jellied eels, however. Mm-mm. Another thing about noblars is apparently they are like insects.

there are just so, so many of them running around. And in combat, you kind of have your normal retinue of knobblards. You got your standard fighters, long-range ones equipped with bows, thieves, stuff like that. There are a couple of strange units, too. Like, they have knoblar flingers who are essentially like missile-ranged infantry. And every description I've seen of them is like, yeah, these nablar flingers. Noblars absolutely suck at combat. Everything they do doesn't work.

They are more or less useless, but we have so many noblers that, yeah, they suck at combat, but you need cannon fodder. So nobler fliers. True, true, true. Yeah, totally. They also have the strangest sort of like noblar cavalry unit. They have a unit called a Noblar Pigback rider, which I assume would be a knoblar riding a war pig or a warthog or something like that, right? No, no.

The pigback rider is actually just one knoblar riding piggyback on another knoblar. And I looked into this a little and from what I could tell it was like, well, normally these knoblars do perform a sport where they actually ride on pigs

and joust each other. But I guess the pigs they use are just not suitable for combat or, and I've found no evidence for this, but this is what I choose to believe. the ogres don't want to waste a potential food source like a perfectly good pig on a knoblar fucking up and dying in war. So, so it is actually two knoblars in a trench coat then, yes. Yes, yes it is.

And just for some clarification, Possum gave me a list of knoblar sports that also clarifies what pigs do. Noblar bowling is something you'd think would be like we bowling. But what they do is they throw something really. substantial like food or nice clothes in the center of a group of knobblars and they watch them tear each other apart over it.

Lovely. Absolutely cinematic. Yeah. There's pig jousting, which is when groups of screaming knoblars are mounted on the back of two separate pigs and they charge it one another with pointy sticks. And then there's Run Sprint, which is a game that both the ogres

and knobblars like, knobblers are thrown into a race track that's full of dangerous and deadly obstacles and are forced to race around in circles. The winner of said race gets the just incredible grand prize of not being eaten. I knew you were going to say that.

I knew it was going to be of not being eaten. And I think that's a solid introduction into the ogres. Obviously, we only have so much time. We can't hit everything. Maybe there'll be some supplementary episodes. on big battles, big people, but I feel like this is a nice stopping point for these are the ogre kingdoms.

This is what they do. This is how they handle things. This is their religion. This is where they came from. So, Ogre kingdoms, Daddy-O. Honestly. Daddy-o, wow.

Yeah, Daddy-O might be, I think you got this backwards, Unk. But honestly, I kind of like them a lot. They're just, like, I just love the. idea of a whole bunch of these just like extremely fat football like come on england score some fucking goals like just just having an entire race of people like that that are though i will say they they seem to have that like accent and and you know that kind of vibe but they appear to be kind of a little bit more Mongolian looking yeah they do don't they yeah their motif is a little bit different, which is actually kind of cool. I like the mixture of the culture. But they also have

that really awesome, like, mustache, the one where it's like, there's nothing in the middle, but it goes droops on the sides. I like, I love that look. Agreed. And so the fact that they got that and the vibe there specifically is really cool. Also, uh, Shire has posted an ogre with a pirate hat and a giant anchor. And that's like the coolest thing I've seen all week. that is a pretty great ogre pie but what about the ogre ninja the ogre ninja is so oh my god it's incredible imagine being an ogre and trying to sneak up on someone

i actually like these ones a lot well there are no tomb kings yet true but what is gone like i'm i'm seeing myself in in in in soCal there's a lot like there's there's quite the eclectic group of people that go to tournaments down here in like the orange county the l a to san diego area there's there's a lot of people who love their bits and and so like we got we get some really interesting team names and folks down here and like this is the kind of type of dude who i would see like go to a table with an ogre army with like a big apron and that says like now serving you and then just be like,

oh mate, it's like, it's time. And I don't know, I can feel the jovialness in playing ogres. I hope there's an ogre player out there that now does that and just goes to every match with the bib that says now serving you. Order,

order up. You. Yeah, some kind of shenanigans like that. And I kind of feel the. vibe. It's like, it's like, orc players. They're, they tend to like to have a lot of fun with it. I like these guys.

They seem really funny. This is good. I, yeah. I think for me, it's Tomb Kings, vampire counts, ogres, and then closely scaven. I do like the vampire counts. I will say they're held down heavily by Manfred.

True. What a, what a piece of shit. Holy God, what an asshole. He's pretty awful. I do like Skaven, but I feel like liking Skaven is like liking orcs. You just kind of,

you just do. Yeah, everybody does, right? Yeah, it's like, there's an old phrase, like, D&D 5E is everyone's second favorite edition. It's the most play, but like no one loves it, but everyone plays it secondarily.

I feel like everyone likes Skaven naturally, but only like their favorite might be, oh, this one, but of course I like Skaven, but I'm more towards this. So I'm actually a little bit curious when we're going to do Cathay, because those new minis really got me. Oh, yeah, they are very cool.

And after hearing that the astromancers are capable of, you know, summoning the ogre's angry deity to wipe them out, I am very curious to see what astromancers are capable of. Very true. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Also, there's like this bad bitch that can turn into a dragon. Oh, let's go. Hell yeah.

I see shy and I are in the same same minds yep the hive mind the one brain cell is rattling you like you like mommy dragons you're gonna like it shy literally typed in chat as bric you was saying that they are pretty cool especially if you like mommy dragons literally same brain cell also yeah I'm I'm I'm down for mommy dragons for sure hell yeah that's a that's a poster shy that is a poster such is the power mm such is the power of mommy dragons hell yeah and you want to take us home yeah yeah yeah sure sure you Shai, can we end this by posting fat bastard in Austin Powers doing the baby back ribs thing? I'm bigger than you. I'm higher in the food chain. Get in my belly.