Adeptus Ridiculous - THE REALM OF SLAANESH | Warhammer 40k Lore

Episode Date: February 9, 2022

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Welcome everyone to another episode of the Adeptus Ridiculous Podcast. My name is D.K. Diomontes. My co-host is Bricky. And what a surprise! He's going to be teaching us about all of the most crazy things in Warhammer 40K. But before he does, if you enjoy today's podcast, consider supporting us on Patreon over at patreon. com slash Adeptus Ridiculous, where you can get access to bloopers, behind the scene stuff, get access to our Discord. Some real, real nice HD posters.

The current one is a It's a tyrannid female That has some gigantic venom sacks That's what I'm told those are Those are venom sacks Those are not Hmm This is going nowhere good

Just trust me, it's a good poster PaceRound.com slash Adeptus Ridiculous Bricky tell us about the books And all of our sick merch Yo I really want us to get a new poster So we can stop talking about the tyrannid one well I guess you'll just have to wait a month

yeah next month that's why it's a great idea to be a patron because you might always get a new one what was I saying oh yeah so a couple of things book club is twice did King Rain I have about three hours left and if you are a blood angels fan I would very much recommend the book at least for the the involved

Also, we'll get without spoiling much. If you want some merch check at Orchidate.com or a link in the description, we got shirts, hoodies, teas, and we actually have new dice and new stickers. We have a new Doge Van Dyre stickers based on our new emotes that you can get either by being a YouTube member or joining the Discord. And so there's new stickers in there. Check out the merch site for the new stickers. It's super fun. And last but not least, night drawing, pilot plus night digital art contest will be over at the end of February.

So you have the rest of the month to submit your submission. It is in the description. And also you can send it to us on Twitter. You can get money if you do good. So that's that. There's a real sick entries too. Like, y'all have been knocking out the park. Yeah, it's some really good stuff.

All right D.K Yes, sir. Oh boy Yes, sir, yes sir, yes sir I'm ready to fuck up a quote, sir, sir, sir. Oh, no, I'm the one who fucks up the quote. You're the one who fucks up interpreting a quote.

Right, right. Still, we fuck up a quote real bad. Yes. All right. All right. Here we go. Here we go. Hit me with your best shot.

Fire away. I'm surprised you got the reference actually It's a song, it's not that hard I know, but it's a boomer song It's like an ultra boomer song DK, do you know what pour some sugar on me actually means I thought they were just taking giant bags of sugar And pouring it on them

Oh, oh, oh, do you know what it means now? No, actually I don't You don't actually? No It means come, D.K. Ah It means come Okay

Okay It definitely means It's a seaman reference Okay Gotcha correct Correct correct So that's what Isha singing in the jar Yeah deaf leper

We're all in the Navy Ah Actually I know that Because they were No they were all seamen They're not actually in the Oh Wow

Man your jokes are bad I am I am Your jokes suck Brick I am crushed To hear that from you of all people.

Of all people. That's the, that's the, yeah. The bar I've sunk to. Mm-hmm. Is that the, the... You can't even make me laugh at your dumb shit. Is that the jar I've drowned in? Yep, you are in that jar, and the jar is full.

All right, well, the jar has a quote written on it, and this is the quote. Okay. Find pleasure in every moment. Indulge in every whim. Let lesser races feel the burden of their crude lives. We are beyond. such concerns or worries. Every power is ours to use, every sensation ours to experience.

We are truly masters of the galaxy, and all others exist only to satisfy our curiosities. We have earned our position of power. Let us forever taste the fruits of such achievement. Time itself is ours to command. We are eternal. Wow, that sounds like some Eldar bullshit. Nice. Yeah. That sounds like some high and mighty Eldar bullshit excess, wanting everything and feeling like they're far more superior to everybody in the galaxy.

Pretty good. So is your final answer that we're talking about Eldar? I'm going to say yes, but if I'm wrong, I'm worried that it could also be Emperor's children. I don't know what else we could talk about with the Eldar though. Like, what haven't we covered? Like, is it a specific person? Is it a faction? Like, we've covered Craft World. We've covered Jukari.

We've covered, uh, um, Okay, well, well, Harley-Quinn's, you doofus. Oh, right, right, right, right, Clussy. Oh, Jesus. Um, no, there's plenty to still cover. We haven't talked about Corsairs. We haven't talked about Exodites. And we can always do, like, the individual craft worlds like we did with the,

with the Dark Eldar episode and also the troops and things. But here is a, second quote. Can we play with him master? He seems so unhappy. Let us help him smile, please, or at least let us carve one on his face when he stopped screaming. Oh, God. Oh, geez, this definitely sounds Eldar. Yeah, Eldar, final answer. Yep. Wow, no, it's Slanesh, you fuck. Oh. You were so on the right, can we carve a thing? Well, that sounds like a, that. That totally sounds like an Eldar thing. Sounds like a dark Eldar thing.

Yes, there's probably dark Eldar stuff we haven't talked about. We've already done two episodes. You just went on a tangent about how there's always more Eldar stuff. Oh my God. They were literally talking about the fall when they were like, oh, everything in ours is ours to command. We have no problems anymore. That's what happened before. Slaneh got birthed.

Whatever, man. Tell me about Slanesh. So is it Empress children or is it specifically Slanesh? No, we're doing like Slyneesh, Sleesh. Like just, Sleesh. All right, all right, all right. We got, we got to get a tall glass of Sla Nish. Yeah, I need that.

I'm thirsty today, lads. Hey, let's go. You're about to... Tall glass. Tall glass. I need that Collins glass of Slamish. A what glass? It's a Collins glass.

It's like a high ball glass. You know, it's actually, that's a tall glass. I think it's a Collins glass. Yeah. Well, we're definitely going to be talking about balls today. Mm. Mm. All's on the field.

Ball. Sonesh. Yeah, you know, we talked about corn. We did Nurgle. We're doing Sonesh. Sonesh also known as the dark prince, the prince of pleasure, the Lord of Excess,

the perfect prince, the prince of chaos, or Salad Threch. Salthresh, she who thirsts. Salus, get that flam out, buddy, before the episode starts. You gotta really, he's hawk up that flam before.

Ironically, the sacred number of Slanesh is six, but unfortunately it is not nine as well. That would be, though we're halfway through, you know. That'd be too on the nose, even for GW. Too typical to Slanesh, where it lures you in with the first number and then fucks you up afterwards. Mm-hmm. It says here in the wiki, the portfolio of Slonesh is pleasure,

passion, excess hedonism, decadence, and pain. Okay. That sounds very Slaneshi, yep. Very Slanesh. So, Slanesh, for a recap, at least for the people who probably are like, I want to know about Slanesh. They clicked on this video without looking at the Eldar ones. Naturally, the Eldar, at the height of their power, had no issues ever.

They had no problems with food. They had no problems with money. They had no problems, even with death, as their souls would have. be reincarnated. And so they couldn't even die normally. So everything was so fucking easy. When shit is so easy, you go and try to find

more and more weird shit to do. So their depravity sunk heavy, heavy, heavy, starting off with, you know, you know, a little bit of rope play. A little bit of a little bit of a choke in here and there.

And then they started pulling out knives. And then they started pulling out syringes, and then they started killing people for stage plays, and then they just started, then they just started murder fucking everyone. Yep. And, uh,

you know, it is, uh, what the hell? What the hell is this shy? Satire of the decadent West so-called civilization, comrade. Ah.

Okay. Wow. Capitalism at its finest. Well done. Well done. Uh, despite the Eldar being based on the East. But, Um, despite it all, this all came to a head.

This all began to bloat and then boom, Slanesh comes out in the, the, just a gigantic blast. It creates the eye of terror, uh, due to its arrival. And then, and then it just goes and sucks in all the souls of over 90% of Slenesh, or, uh, Eldar population. consumes most of their gods, most of their people, and leaves them a fucked up fractured race where the craft world survive by,

or we're all, all dead Eldar go to Slanesh in time with the craft world staving it off via soulstones, the Jukari staving it off by reincarnating themselves through creepy vats, and the harlequin staving it off through clown jokes. And they're laughing, God. And they're laughing gone.

Kekarak. And so Sleeneh is now here, birthed from the murder fuckery of the Eldar, though unfortunately mostly fed by humanity because despite all of chaos's shenanigans and Eldar being pricks, we as humans have given the chaos their most amount of power.

Oh, yeah. And 90% of the Eldar got eaten. So like there's not that many El Dor. are out there, but there's still a shitload of humans doing debauchrous shit. So, you know, probably gets way more fed by the Imperium and Humanity. Humanity has the most, Kansas has the most champions from humanity. Due to the fact that we're like a Ternid-sized race, because there's so many, so many humans. So fucking many of them.

When you look at the garden, how many people the Imperium can just throw away at a whim, it's like, oh, Yeah. There can be quite a lot. And if you're reading twice dead king, you know how much of a fucking, like, tyrannid swarm the Imperium can act like if they want. Yeah, seriously. They're more alien than the aliens.

Mm-hmm. Here's another quote from someone named Tyrell, Renegade Lord of Arden, nine, I think. It says, Take care, lest your protests become tiresome. I have asked for so little. Anyone would think that I had asked you to sacrifice yourselves and your sons.

And yet, in Slanesh's boundless and pleasing mercy, I have asked only for your daughters. Surely you would not deny me, my small enjoyments. Oh, that's, that's great. What, oh, boy, that's, that's, that's a Slanesh. That's a tall glass of Slaneh. That's a tall glass of Slaneh. That's a Das Butte of Sleneh. Jesus.

You know, oh, fuck, what's that place in Vegas where they have the really, big drinks. Raff is going to kill me. No, shut up. I miss Vegas. So, obviously, when it comes to Slanesh and the Slaneshi things,

it's important to always remind, even though it's memed on plenty, and we are perpetrators of said meme, it is important to remind everyone that Slanesh is not just sex. No, it's also drugs and rock and roll. Hell yeah, brother. Hell yeah, brother.

Oh, yeah. I'm giving you a third. Three minutes. Oh, yeah, brother. Three minutes of playtime. Here we go again. Strap yourselves in. It's going to be around.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Macho Man, Randy's Flynish. Road to Rissomani. Oh, yeah, brother. You're going in the glory hole, brother. Oh, no. Oh, boy, this truly is the Slanesh episode.

Glory hells have been, have been talked about in less than 20 minutes of the episode. Oh, spread those cheeks wide, brother. Oh, so long. down, brother, you come too fast. Wrestling me wrestling memes side.

Fucking Sladesh, right. So it's the idea mainly of sensation. And there is, of course, lust, but since, I'd argue sensation is the easiest one word descriptor. Because if you have

sensation, that means taste, touch, touch, Touch means like, obviously, sex, but touch also means pain. You've also got noise, hearing, so, so, you know, all that loud crap and, like, excess music, sights and visuals. Just sensation. So it also is like a sensation of feeling. Remember, because there's also, they're both sides of the Sleeneh coin. You've got all the bad, which is torture, murder, and lots of that awful stuff.

And you've also got the good part, which is the feeling, like pride is a sensation. Happiness is a sensation. Being happy and being sad are both Slanesh things. Being excited, you know, being overwhelmed stimuli. So it's not just like debauchrous, lewd excess. It's just like an excess of feelings and emotions and sensations. of any kind, be they good, bad, or indifferent? That feeds Slanesh?

She slash he slash they, because that's what Slanesh is. There's no specific male, female, or in between. They just assumed as whatever the fuck. Is, yeah, it's the best way is the prince of unspeakable excess. Damn. So Slanesh is eating good in the neighborhood. because like that's yeah

wow how is Slanesh not like the most overwhelmingly broken overpowered chaos god in existence with how much

they eat well because slanesh is young also if you think about Nurgel which is the lord of death and decay

it's a lot of that yeah there is that's true in 40K there's yeah okay okay Zinche is lying greed

and trickery. There's a lot of that. There's a lot of that. That's true. That's fair. And corn is murder. Oh, you know, when you, when you put it like that, I, I, I, I see why Slanesh is not the most overpowered, busted, broken, uh, you know, well-fed chaos god. Yeah. When you, when you, when you put it into perspective, yeah, okay, okay. But of course, do remember that all chaos gods are both the embodiment of good and bad. Zinch is bribery, trickery, lies and all that,

but he's also the essence of hope. You know, Nergel, because, you know, hope, like, things can change, change, it can be good. Right, right, right, right. Nergel is wrought and death and decay, but he's also acceptance. He is solidarity, he is contentment. And Corn is death, murder, and combat,

But corn is also honesty and martial prowess. And, you know, corn will never stab you in the back. Just right to the face many, many, many times. As many times as it takes to get your skull. So as much as you're aiming for Clussy, like, you know, you might consider that quite a good thing to have. You know, you want to get a little bit of that clown ass. You know, you want to honk them cheeks.

You know? Sex is a pretty fine thing It's not everything But it's cool But Slanesh You know is like Hey let's turn that to 11 These ones go to 11

These ones go to 11 Yeah Now all I can imagine is Is just forget it I'm not We're not gonna go into them We're not gonna go to what I imagine Slanesh let's just not

The movie No No I was just the Hong Kong And it was no Or this Uh Quote

mere killing should never be enough. How much more intense is the feeling of inhaling the mist created when you vibrate a foe's body until he vaporizes? How much more completely have you explored all a person that you can offer than when you breathe them into yourself, leaving only the memory of them still a part of this world? Holy shit. Gillax Soundwarden Warp Smith of the Emperor's Children. So this fool doesn't want to just kill you. He wants to vibrate you with noise until like you just turn into a fine dust and then he can just breathe you in.

Noise marines. Holy shit. Noise marines are savages. This silence offends Slanesh. That's the common meme. Silence of that's right. Yeah. Wow.

That's fucked up. anonymous noise marine of Sleinesh the mind-curdling cacophony of the battlefield shape it, savor it, add to it until your senses shake and your minds quiver with deafening bliss.

Yeah, they're weird. Noise marines are fucking weirdos. God, I don't think I'd want to be a noise marine. Well, I mean, have you seen like their weapons? Yeah, they... I'm the one who says it, I guess.

Well, Shai just put a picture of a noise ring. And is that actually like a guitar flame thrower that he's like jamming on? Is that a thing? Or is that like fan-wracking? Actually, I'm not quite sure because he has speakers in his legs. Yeah, I was going to say this. I originally thought it was like, oh, yeah, they totally have it. Then I saw the speakers in the legs and I was like, hmm, I don't, I don't think noise

Marines are rolling around with high-fi stereos in their legs. I don't, hmm. The, I mean, the old mini did, yes. I think they've adjusted it because that mini is old as crap. It's the better noise marine, though, right? That's the better one. It's the rainbow mohawk, zebra print helmet, leopard print pants. That's the better noise marine, and everybody in the comment section will agree with me.

I hate you. Wow. Sorry for telling the truth. They have a weapon called a blast man. And it's a heavy sonic weapon that when fired focuses a throbbing bass noise into an explosive sonic crescendo that can burst eyeballs and rupture internal organs. Oh. Oh, that's, that sucks. There's also the sonic blaster that fires a wave of harmonics that literally rips the target apart with the extreme sound.

And there's also the, uh, the doom's siren. Oh. The Doom's Siren is a complex rangement of pipes and tubes around their helmets that have short-range sonic attacks. They're normally used to stun targets and things like that. It's a close combat weapon kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. So it just confuses them with loud noise. Or it makes it like hard to like listen and all kinds of stuff.

Not as bad as getting literally ripped apart or getting your innards and eyeballs exploded. Not as bad. I mean, I don't want to have eyes anymore. in 2022. That's fair. Blow my eyes out, noise, Marine Daddy. What the fuck?

What the fuck? What the fuck was that? What the fuck was that? Look on the bright side. At least I didn't woo-woo. Oh, oh, thank God. You just stabbed me. Thank God you didn't shoot me.

Oh, darn. Exactly. See, it was just a stab. I didn't, nothing else, nothing worse. No Owos, no woo-woo's. You know? You, I, you, So, more about Slanesh, huh? How about that, how about that tall glass of Slanish?

The tall glass of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of Slnuch. Slush. So, okay, so anyway, all that stuff aside. So, so that's the concept of Slenish, you know, making sure you understand the, the, the, the both sides. But I got to be honest, when I was reading for this episode, I was reading about the realm of Slenish. And if you remember from the corn one, we talked about like the corn realm and it was all about,

oh yeah, all about like, yeah, the arena's on stuff. The actual realm of Slanesh is really fucking creepy. Oh, wow,

what a surprise. Who would have thought that Slanesh's realm of excess would be really creepy? Who could have guessed, right? No, no, no, no. You don't seem to understand it. It's like a demonic

Willy Wonka. Oh. A demonic Willie, like, okay, explain. Okay, so, okay, so you, when you go to the realm of Slanesh, you are actually not barred from entry like the other

domains. Slonesh wants you to come in. Yeah, in more ways than that. Yeah, once. Oh my God. What? What? This is the, this is listen to. I hope shy has the drum set.

That's a good, oh my God. So, here's another quote, because I have like 20 of them today. I prepared to enter his realm, expecting to encounter guardians who would seek to tear into me with talons and fangs. At the least, I assumed I would find bastions

to bar my progress. I found none. The land before me was open and pristine. Its fields shimmered like gold and its force bare fruit of sapphire and emeralds. I took a step into this place and instantly knew

I was lost just as surely as if I had been impaled on a debtor's spike. Oh. So as, you know, it's the idea of temptation. Like, come on, come by.

You know, like, come on in. Let's, I'll show you. So the, there's like six or so layers of this area. And the first one is the excess of riches. So when you first enter this area, you get all these mad-like ravings where the night, or sorry, the day turns to night and the golden hues are replaced by like a soft blue in the sky, shimmeres ceaselessly. The heavens themselves are filled with diamonds that seem so close that can be plucked from the sky.

If you just reached a little bit further. So many try to do that and not pay attention. the higher and higher they climb, climbing trees made of literally pure gold or leaping from them, they plummet back to the ground, fracturing their skulls and rupturing their organs. And then they kind of stare up in the sky reaching for the jewels with this temporary joy of like the beauty of the sky before they eventually forfeit their soul and die. Oh, that sucks. That's, ooh.

So you get put in like a trance at how beautiful the diamonds are and you don't care how you get it. them, you're just going to keep trying to get them until you inevitably, like, kill yourself. Basically, or if you don't have that, you get, like, a gentle breeze that has the grass, like, shimmer, and each of the blades of grass and branches and trees reflect, like, a warm, golden light. All of it made of gold. The fields and pathways, the cobblestones and such, they're not granite or anything that they show. They're rubies and emeralds. with loose gemstones and gold nuggets around

and people will slip them into their pockets because there's always room for another stone or, you know, a little bit of gold. There's always room for more for excess, right? Excess gold, excess gems, excess money. Eventually, their pockets will become so full and so heavy that they won't be able to move anymore. But where they were fused to get rid of the gold and the jewels, they will collapse under the weight of it

and then right where they were picking up the golden jewels, they will join along with bones from the other people who could not carry all the stuff. Oh, that's fucked up. Yeah, so demonic Willy Wonka, you know? Yeah, yeah, that is definitely a demonic Willy Wonka. So has anybody ever tread into Slanesh's realm and not been overcome by like the money?

I mean, someone must have because if there are multiple layers, right? If there's multiple layers, there's got to be like first layer of money, second layer, excess of, like, food. And then there's got to be like excess of sex, excess of, I'm assuming there are, it's like an onion. You peel it back and you got more layers. Pretty impressed, D.K., you basically nailed that right in the row. So if you make it past the excess of riches,

you will then enter the excess of sustenance. And the exes of susten is when you move it When you move your way into there You see a bunch like a like a smattering of pale islands with a bunch of bridges And under these bridges are rivers and the rivers are nothing but pure wine Oh All right

Rivers of wine nice Rivers of wine but there are no cups to fill your wine glass There's no cups to fill with wine But the bouquet of wine is so enticing that you eventually just go to the river and put your head down there so you can get a big mouthful of it and as you keep drinking your wine you just fall to your knees and you just swim with this intoxication and you drink and you drink until eventually you slip below the surface and you are never seen again oh you literally drown in the wine that you're uh you fall in

by damn wow really is like a demonic Willy Wonka because it's like Augustus Gloop where he's yeah he wants that chocolate he wants that river of chocolate then just ah and then he gets sucked up into the tubes and Gene Wilder could give

a shit he don't give a fuck he warned him he told him not to do it at least Augustus got a warning you go to the realm of Slanesh and it probably just it do happen so Willy Wonka Slanesh is just like Yeah, drink it, you fat ass.

Yeah, drink it, bitch, you won't. Now, if you are able to lift your head from the wide, you'll be able to gaze onto the islands and see hundreds upon hundreds of giant great tables filled with giant feasts, fruits, breads, all kinds of meats, everything. Unfortunately, the only way to get there is generally to swim to these islands,

which will, through the wind. wine, which will often have you not be able to make it and then drown in the waters, never to be seen again. Those of you who do make it, however, are able to get an astonishing amount of food. The finest meal you will ever experience. Every single morsel of food is a delight. And they fast and faster and faster they eat and they eat handfuls and handfuls of food down their throat.

And in this need to eat, they do. do not notice that some of the meat comes from carcasses that look awfully familiar. Oh, no, are those oh. Even if they were to somehow stop forcing food into their bodies,

they would not notice quick enough that once they do eat till they literally have their stomach burst, they keel over dead. Now the new part of the feast that they were for the next person to

arrive to. Gross. And nobody notices that it's a human. They all just think it's... They're just part of the feast. They're the decadent meats. They're being slanesh. That is some

Slanesh bullshit. That's some seven starring Brad Pitt bullshit. Oh yeah. That is definitely something that could... This feels a lot like seven. It feels a lot like what? Dante's Inferno as you as you keep progressing down each new stage

of hell. Mm-hmm. Yep. Seven Deadly Sins kind of thing. Yep. Yep, yep, yep. The next one is the excess of bodily delights. Ah, we've reached the sexy times, I assume.

We have reached the Coom Koon. The Coom Coom-Coon, if you will. Coom-Coon. The Coom-Coon, if you will. So the third ring of the domain is all about the vision, sense, experiences that overloads. the mind and body here because there's rich fields of like texture grass

with like these little glinted golden hues on the top and there's a little tense spun of dream threads that reflect a vision from the subconscious of those who gaze on it they're like sitting there and in fact they're forming these weird

sinuous corridors so narrow that a traveler can't help but brush against them and feel like the embrace of these corridors. So for each vista, they have all these, like, decadent, how's this pronounced, like, tabloes?

T-A-B-L-E-A-U-S. Tablois. T-A-U-S-T-L-E-A-U-S-T-L-L-S-S. Sure, I don't know. They're all twisting and inviting, you know? Okay, okay. But these are flesh dens of the elegant under-hive or parlors of spires that are,

it's just like it's demons and mortal bodies just kind of intertwine as they get trapped in here forms that go so beautiful they're difficult to look at but they're like beckoning so you really can't resist it

oh all right so it's it's this weird kind of idea where you're going through these corridors and spires and under cities of flesh and grass and there's a heavy intoxicating musk in the air as well.

So to the point where you kind of like become part of it. Oh no, that's, that's unfortunate. You become part of the corridor? Well, it becomes such like a stimulus, such a heavy stimulation that your flesh becomes super hyper sensitive. So even like the air is a tender caress and sense arrived to you as you're like going through these corridors and past situations, things are touching you and feeling you. And at this point, you're so, you're so like eyes in the back of your head that at that point,

demons and demonettes will come to you and close in on their victims with their claws and razor mouths and all that stuff. Oh, boy. So this, this area just makes you like hypersensitive to like any touch? Yeah, it's almost like your, you're, yeah, everything is just super high. for sensitive, yes, best way to put it. Oh man, the getting ripped apart by demons would be extraordinarily

way more painful than it normally would be. Mm-hmm. Oh, that's unfortunate. Pain is a pleasure all its own for Slemesh. That is Omega Oof. That's...

Omega Oof. That's a, that's a stinger. Oof. So, the excess of... Next one is the excess of adoration. This one's a little bit more

interesting. So this is glory. This is effects of the military, of heroes. The concept of a hero returning from a battle, like

chin up, held high. They're showered with praise, adoration. Excellent work, Caiaphas, Cain. Wonderful job, Kane. Oh. Cain, that time when you took a fat steaming dump on your desk and that wore it away to tyrannids, incredible idea, Cain. When you had explosive diarrhea and that made the orcs not want to chase us, excellent job, Cain.

You saved us all, Cain? Well done. So this, of course, also leaders in the government. There's church leaders, cult leaders, et cetera. Even small things, like a father who wants their kids to look up to them. This idea of adoration is that. the fourth circle. Now for each one of each person who arrives there, their experience is unique. Some will have giant like parades, greeting a soldier, cheering his name, making his statues in his honor. There's a governor from a planet who has complete order and the entire system

has ran perfectly. But whatever this scenario is, the victim finds it incredibly difficult to pull themselves out of this vision and dream. However, unlike the dreams, experienced by a normal person like you and me, these illusions do nothing to seem impossible. Oh. They don't act too weird. That's some tricky bullshit. So it's a very believable vision that's just like

it doesn't do anything crazy. It doesn't, you're not like, oh yeah, you can fly and you have superpowers and you're the king of the world. It's just all very plausible shit. Kind of. Yeah, it's very like, you know, you think of a dream and sometimes you'll know you're in a dream because it was just so outlandish.

Mm-hmm. But this doesn't try that. This tries to be real, but it tries to be genuine. Oh, that's some tricky bullshit. That's some tricky, tricky bullshit. Now, some people will be able to see through this or have self-doubt in themselves. Mm-hmm.

And they'll be able to break free. And when they do, the dream will shatter. Sometimes, only for an instant, revealing an endless, endless plane of nothing but black soot upon it are the uh the heaps of bones and bodied of the millions and billions of others who did not get out of the dream a long imagine imagine that damn that famous green uh microsoft screen uh wallpaper of the rolling hills yeah and it's just but it soot it's just black soot and ash of bones of people who couldn't break free.

Oh, wow. Well, I'll be honest. I'm surprised that that many people have made it to that level. Because you got to get through the other levels first, right? It depends on who you are. Yeah. I mean, some people are able to see through the powers of Slenesh that way. Yeah.

And, well, I guess Slinish has been around for a really long time. So there's been plenty of time to accumulate souls down there. Mm-hmm. The next one, the fifth one, is the excess of achievement. Now, this is the idea that this is mainly for soldiers. And like, for instance, when the emperor created the space marines, he faced difficult tasks that was engineering a warrior that was eager to serve him through deeds of heroism and by achieving the impossible.

So it's not about admiration, it's about duty. It's about actually doing it. It's about earning your place. I was kind of hoping you were going to say it's not about duty. It's about the Mets. It's about the Mets, baby. It's about the sex, baby. Yeah, got to get that sex.

Got to get laid. Got to get that sledge. Get a home run, baby. Get a home run. Get a third base, baby. Of course, as we know, didn't work because nine of his boys rebelled. Yep. But for here, the fifth domain domain has the 8th.

idea of these blasphemous tales of perfect achievement art to be believed. It would appears to be a grand forest, which a bunch of majestic trees, they have a bunch of glades and all that. Of course, it's a trap, like always. Naturally. The long walk there gives it time to, like, the person in time to wander, the glades being very inviting, you know, very serene. And in the center of each glade is a perfectly still pool.

that invites the traveler to sit and reflect upon their thoughts. So as they stare into the pool, they recall accomplishments and dwells on what more they could achieve. Okay. So, but sitting in there, lost in their thoughts, the undergrowth of the glade begins to creep on them. Oh. So as he closes their eyes, or he or she, closes their eyes

and imagines themselves like striking down these legendary foes and conquering the galaxy and defeating civilizations, negotiating trade deals, you know, real achievements. Yeah. The water of the pool rise up and take the shape of whatever

represents defeat for them. Oh, that's fucked up. And once they realize the defeat is there, they see the sling is amiss. And by the time they realize slaying is amiss, their eyes open and they're confronted with a vision of shame, just before the branches and vines around him start to rip and tear at their flesh and strangle the air from their lungs.

Oh, man. That is like all-encompassing defeat because they see their vision of defeat as they're getting like ripped apart by these vines. They are literally seeing them at their highest of highs and then brought to the lowest of lows. Oh, that's so messed up. That's pretty fucked up. the sound of their final scream stifled by a lack of air is one of the Prince of Pleasure's favorite things. Yeah, that, that, that, that, yeah.

You know, because you're taking a high and mighty warrior and you're really bringing them down and making them feel the most despair possible. So yeah, I bet Slash loves that. That's a fine kianti, if you will. with uh did you have his liver also with some fava beans I can't do the sound

I can't do the sound yeah he used to the sound well that's not how he does it but yeah sure okay now some people of course resist the urge to dream and they'll get out before the vines and stuff entangle them

and then that leads us to our sixth and final circle which is the excess of repose remember the six is the sacred number Yep. Obviously, life in the 41st millennium is really tough. Shit's really tough. No kidding.

You don't say. Understatement of the millennium, life in the 41st century is tough. So, this one, everyone, everyone everywhere needs rest. Sure. Everyone needs rest. And so at the excess of repose,

sometimes you just need that. You feel like you deserve a little repose just for a bit, just for a moment. Little power nap, yeah, you know, pretty good. So at this point, after emerging from the torments of the five other domains, this person, anyone who could resist the seduction here would honestly become legendary. Awaiting the traveler are the whispers of wretches, languishing in perfumed palaces and pleasure dens. A vision of a true sublime peace. Aphrodite, except she's crazy.

Crazier than normal. Yeah, I was going to say, Greek gods are all fucking insane, but okay. At this point, struggle, torment, it's all an old memory. Here there is a beach of soft sand, rays of warm golden sun, gentle breezes from scattered clouds,

music is carried upon these. breezers. The ground itself rise up and caresses the weary wanderer. Even little cherubs will remove

armor plates and burdensome belongings. Wow. And coalescing from the salted mists are figures with placid features and soothing hands

to approach and rub tired muscles. Damn. It is an eternal peace if the will is not strong enough to snap back

into consciousness and snap back to reality. Oops, this goes gravity. You only get one shot. However, determination will naturally send the pallet apparitions screaming back into the seas as you're able to push them away. Yeah, I can imagine this is a very, like after going through the other five little realms, like this got to be real appealing, just be like, you know what?

Yeah, I did it. I reached the end. Soft sands, women, the whole nine, let me die. And then, yeah, I could see that. You know, honestly, it's a little bit bizarre because reading this here, there's nothing that indicates that there's actually a, there's nothing that indicates that there's actually a negative to this one. Oh.

Like, really? This is just a realm. Unless I'm not reading this properly, it's, like, this is peace. You're done. So once you make it to the sixth realm, you can literally just chill and nothing bad will happen to you?

It seems like you'll just be so intoxicated by this that you'll kind of be loopy and then you'll just die. I mean, there are much worse ways to go in 40K. I mean, that doesn't sound so bad of having everlasting people, not everlasting, but to just live out the rest of your life

in peace and harmony and parents. paradise. There are way worse ways to go. And imagine if you were a space marine or an imperial garden. It's like, yeah, I could just go back to the Imperium and suffer for the rest of my fucking life being unappreciated by that idiot

emperor. I said it, idiot emperor. Or you could just chill. Do remember, D.K. This is only if you one, get past the other five layers of Slanesh's area. Well, that's, okay, fair.

Yeah, that's not everybody can do that. And two, I mean, you're going to die. Yeah, but everybody's going to die sometime. Like, why not live out the rest of your life in paradise? Okay, so remember both sides of the coin, right? Sunnash, both sides of the coin. It's just, I think it's just the idea that like, this is all you'll ever be. No one will remember you.

You'll fade into nothingness. You are no different than a guy who, who had a successful career ahead of you and decided to stay in his mom's house until you were 50, all your friends left you, and then you have a heart attack and died. Do I like playing video games all day and jerking off? You fucking know I do, but it's not, I don't know, man. That sounds pretty fulfilling to me. I'm okay with that.

All right, fair enough. But you get the point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just nothingness. So once you make it past this last one, do you just go to meet, like, do you actually just go and confront Slanesh? Ah, so once you're able to get your resolve and break through the concept of stopping, you get your armor back, your possessions back, and you make it through to the final destination known as the Palace of Pleasure. This is the actual Slenesh's domain itself. And during this period time,

Slynech takes a lot of enjoyment in watching you go through this thing. I bet. The first couple layers doesn't really care much about. People died there all the time. But when you get to four, five, and six, Slec's like, oh, shit, okay, okay. We're eating good tonight, boys. Mm-hmm.

So when you finally do reach the unnatural palace of pleasure, the Sleenech's actual residence, their seat of power, you would assume it would be defended by, demonets and fiends, keepers of secrets. But no. It is... No? No. There are, you know, there's no walls that must be destroyed and have demise on like siege craft.

No? Sonesh has no need of such defenses. Any invading force from a space marine to a legion of bloodletters from Korm would find that the only guardians of the palace would be statues in perfect. shaped trees. Huh. Okay. Not what I was expecting, but all right.

There, obviously, the invaders might be confused, but they can't prepare for the presence of Slenesh, the master itself. You know, as they contemplate this weird lack of defense, the air will still,

unseen choirs will sing, and ears will weep at the unholy harmonies. a literal god will emerge from its palace the dark prince itself will stride confidently towards the invaders

and smile at them and it is enough to disarm everybody anyone with a smile and everybody just like oh shit and they just throw down their arms and they're just disarmored I quote this

resistance in the face of perfection is not a possibility There's no need. Sleinesh itself is too strong. Sleesh's features and power and and beauty is all that's needed. Damn. For here's the thing.

There are no first-hand accounts of Sle-Nesh. Well, I would imagine not because once you get to that point, you can't resist and you're not going to like fight Sleinish. And even if you did, you probably wouldn't win. No one has ever seen Slanesh like this and won.

There's theories that the statues are actually the frozen and, like, smiling foes that made it to that circle. Yeah, that's what I assume those were. Yeah, like a strong space marine or something perhaps. Damn. So they make it all that way to the six. sixth realm and past the sixth realm and then Sleness just smiles at you and then it's just over.

The palace doors open and right there is Slanesh doing the Omogus twerking crewmate. And they're like, Joyous B, praised upon. You may be sussy but you are great and then stoned. Stone. A little bit of Medusa going on there, you know. Sure, sure. So, Are there accounts of people that have made it to see Slanesh that know about this? No, there are no firsthand accounts.

Then how does this story get told? Word of mouth. Other Slanesh demons maybe sing of it. Perhaps the emperor's children have heard of it, a large demon, perhaps a keeper of secrets at some point. Who knows? Okay. Is there any account of someone making it to like the, say,

the fourth realm and then being like this is fucked up, I'm out and then just like leaving? Or can you not leave once you've I don't know I wonder if perhaps certain Emperor's children people might have gotten to a certain point and then backed out

before they realize what was happening. Yeah. I bet like someone like Aramon I bet he would be able to be like, huh there's boobies in here. Ew! Ew! Yucky! I'm out of here.

Yeah. Ew, I'm gonna go read my book. I've got manga to read. Yeah. I actually don't really know. Because, I mean, there are certain people like, I don't know, Caldor Drago, who's just chilling in the warp being a stupid little dude. But I don't know, actually. My mind tells me that, oh, you're shy.

I was thinking like maybe there's a happy end of this journey. It would be a traveler becoming a demon princess Sanesh. but actually if you resist all temptations so much probably has no use for your ass yeah if you resisted all those temptations well unless she thought it would be funny to take someone that resisted all those temptations and turn them into a demon of temptation perhaps perhaps maybe like

maybe you become a certain demon depending on what layer you fail at perhaps the layer of excess excess is like a demonette and then you can get some seekers after that some fiends after that, and maybe if you make it to Slanesh, you become like a keeper of secrets. Maybe. Also, that, uh, I don't know. That, I'm assuming, is that fan art that should I posted of Slanesh?

That would be fan art, yeah. That's pretty cool. I mean, like, yeah, there's the big boba and she's very wifu, or they are very wifu, but the, uh, the, the, like the dark wings with all those creepy ass eyeballs in it look really cool. There's some good interpretations of Slanesh. Often all of the demons and stuff are very much androgynous. Is that the term? Indogenous?

Male, female? Yeah, I think so. Is that? Okay. Yeah, it's very much like, they look like men and women together. They have a very, like, Hamaphrodite kind of style. I don't know the word for it, but that kind of thing. It's like either works.

Okay. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's interesting. Definitely, like I mentioned before, that Slenesh is, is referred to and seen as big boba and all that stuff. But that's just kind of, I think it makes it easier. You know, if you draw as soon as as big boba and everything like that, at least like you kind of get the point across.

And then once you learn a bit more about the idea and you learn a little bit more about like, okay, no, it's male and female kind of combo. It's called a prince, but they're referred to like, she who thirsts and the prince of pleasures. So, you know, it's a little bit of everything. Well, and if you want to tempt everybody, you know, being both is, is, you know, you appeal to the entire audience and not just, you know. They also have a lot of, a lot of, like, snapping claws and, there's some really weird stuff.

Like, like, they talk about the, the caress of a Slanesh demonet. Or, like, it's a kiss. You know, you're making out with a Slenish demonet, but her teeth are. as sharp as razor blades and her tongue is barbed. Oh, wow, that's like... That sounds awful. It's like that kind of shit, you know?

Oof. Yikes. It's not good. I, yeah, I don't think I'd want to ever fight a Slanesh demon. I mean, I'd ever want to fight a demon, period, but those Slenish demons seem pretty bad. I actually like to talk... I was actually planning on talking about the Slenish demons themselves in this episode, but I...

We went too long on the rings, because I thought the demonic Ruli Wanka was super cool. And it caught me really off guard. It's very telling about Slenish, too, and like what Slenish sort of like wants from people, or what Slenish wants to drain from you, and how Slenish sort of drains that from you, and sort of how Slenish works. So I don't mind that we went long on the sort of six rings of hell with Slenish. So there's no one, there's no account of someone like trying to storm Slanesh's realm and making it. I don't know. If there is, comments will tell me otherwise.

And if they don't, then it might be in an obscure book or something. Perhaps in like a fulgroom, perhaps it's in fulgroom or one of those like Emperor's children books might talk about it. But at the current moments, I'm not sure. because that sounds like a great setting for a book is like some some space marine chapter that's just like oh yeah we're gonna we're gonna do a siege on slanesh and um they make it all the way down to slanesh

but they just they get wiped out there but it's like the whole book is like really good explanation on each level and what happens at it and they're losing their friends and only the hardest make it to the end and that'd be pretty cool there's uh i would i would very much say that I would love someone who would make a board like a like a custom terrain thing of like one of the layers of Slaesh. Oh, that'd be so sick.

Yeah, that'd be really dope. Yeah, we don't count Caldor Drago when it comes to the- we don't count Caldor-Draggo when it comes to this stuff because it's just all the shenanigans. But who's Caldor-Dragal again? Chapter Master sort of kind of Grand Master of the Grey Knights. His old- Yeah, like you know how you know like Ultramarines because they're like they always win and they're such goody boy and all that. Yeah, yeah.

He's like the worst example. Oh, well, fuck him then. All right, we'll talk about it some other day. Anyway, we're going to run this one out, you know? This was a fun conversation. We'll do an episode later on the demon nets themselves and the specific demons, but for the time being, good times, D.K., my friend. Yes.

My, my, oh, well, I mean, I don't. usually do it on command, but if you insist. And the episode, shy. We got business to do.