Adeptus Ridiculous - THOSE WACKY FACE-EATING XENOS | Warhammer 40k Lore

Episode Date: March 1, 2023

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Welcome everyone to another episode of the Adeptus Ridiculous Podcast. My name is D.K. Diamante's. My equal host in quality and stature is Bricky. And he's going to teach us about the wacky world of Warhammer 40K today. But before he does, if you enjoy today's episode, head over to patreon.com slash Adeptis Ridiculous, where you can support us, get access to the Discord, bloopers if they happen, some quality HD posters. And just, you know, it's a good time.

Lots of good stuff. Patreon.com slash Adeptus Ridiculous. And Bricky, what's going on with the book club and our merch? Yes, merchandise. You may pick up the delicious, powerful, strong characters in the posters that we have multiple posters currently still available. There's a new flag that you can fly high and proud. And also you can check out all the other things like the dice, the objective mats, so on and so forth.

Hell yeah. And also at the book club, we are reading Master of Mankind, a book that apparently gives a pretty good insight on the emperor himself, makes him feel like a little bit less of a background character. Whether or not that makes us like him, I have no idea. But apparently it's like, hey, you want to understand the emperor a bit better. This is the book. So we'll see how it goes.

Okay. Might make us hate him. It might. It certainly might. Anyway, hey, D.K. Hello What's up I'm a

Tate a fun little episode Did I fun little episode? Yeah Yeah So what you're saying is It's just a little episode It's just a little episode It's not a big episode

Just a little episode Just a little one You need to shut the fuck So this episode is going to be A shorter episode A little more casual episode I've been struggling With a great deal

Of technical issues As of lately And I am a little bit more unprepared than I would like and so we're going to be splitting up this episode into two parts for this thing Shai has actually shown a pretty great book to me

the Liber Zenologists Oh that's right, yeah Lyber zinologists Okay And it's a book It's a book It is Observations from a Blackstone Fortress by Darius Hinks

My say, bitch and cover. Gorgeous. All right. So this is one of those blackstones that, Blackstone fortresses that old Isakil had and chucked it, Acadia? I love how I know you took that time to try to remember the funny name of Abadon. Yeah, yeah, I did.

I was going to say Abadon, but I was like, what, what's the funny name? Oh, yeah, Issaquai anime. We call him Issaquil. Yeah, yeah. Issaquil Avidon. Yes. It is one of those. There is actually, or at least this book would be more considered a companion piece

to the Blackstone Fortress side board game that you can buy. I actually own this board game myself. It's a gigantic, it's actually pretty big, like kind of a little smaller way. You're not playing Warhammer, you're playing like a different kind of tabletop game. Like, I wouldn't say risk or anything, but it has a board, you have pieces, the classic. I didn't realize Warhammer had a, side board games that you could do instead of like

the tabletop. Oh no. I mean, Space Hulk was originally one of them way back in the way, way, way back days. Oh, I was unaware. I just thought Space Hulk was just, you know, it was a video game based on wacky, kooky 40K lore

where ship goes into warping I mean, that is fair, but no, this Blackstone Fortress is a game as Shai is posted right there. That is you moving through the Blackstone Fortress. Yeah, you could also say that Aeronautica, Imperialis, and Baltheley,

Gothic, and Severusite games. So this is definitely like, it's a board game. That's the world I was looking for. It's a board game. I always thought Necromundo was still played the same way the tabletop was. You're just in a different setting?

No, it's totally different. Oh, oh, oh, okay. That being said, despite any of this, though, this came with a bunch of minis. I actually built up quite a few of the minis, and the main group is a chaos lord, well, the chaos lord on the Blackstone Fortress

and a bunch of cultists and various other weirdos fighting against you, and you are a rogue traitor. Hey, okay. You are Captain Janice Drake, D-R-A-I-K. Drake, D-R-A-K. He is the 12th. Sorry, I got to put on the voice for this one.

The 12th Duke of Vexus Prime, strategos major of House Drake, bearer of the senatorum imperial seal of exoneration, an incontestable holder of the imperial warrant of trade. Wow, what a title. Is that him on the picture? With that glorious stash? Glorious stash, baleful eye, and a giant servo skull as a light. Ah, he is immaculate.

He is everything I could ever hope to be. He, and if you remember the rogue traitor game that is currently being worked on by people who make Pathfinder, I forget. Owl Cat. Owl Cat games. Yeah, Alcat. Yeah. Which I played the beta for, our alpha four. Me too.

And it was so good. I loved it. That's, uh, it is very similar because you may notice in the background, there is an Eldar. There is a crout. Uh, and also kinds of things that are part of your squad. And there is, uh, so you could actually have, like, your astrophath and like, you have a, very different group of people. And so this, that is, I think of Men of Iron?

I was going to say that looks like the AI thing that you're not supposed to have and is very heretical and no, no, no, uh-uh. I don't quite remember specifically, but that's the group that Shai just posted him. Eldar on the left, Navigator in the back, you got a preacher, you got the crazy Zeltis sister lady, you got a crew, two ratlings, and then the robot. Oh, well, the Eldar looks very cool. I love his green robes. Also, damn, those abs, man.

Wait, Shai says it's literally AI Man of Iron who slapped on itself an Imperial Aquila, and if anyone asked him pretended to be an Admec robot. That's pretty funny, actually. I did not know that. Yeah, just highway, the best place to hide is in planes, sight, isn't it? Apparently.

Anyway, in the first page of this book, it says this volume intended as an aid to instruction is respectfully dedicated to the most glorious, the Lord High Commander of the Imperium, Rabutee Giliman. In gratitude for the much which amid extreme difficulties,

he has already done to remote the eradication in this galaxy of the Xenos threat. So this here is basically his, which this guy is the most ballard drip looking dude. There's some pictures of him in this book.

Oh my God. He do got some drip, though. He's got some drip. It is basically his journal, his memoirs, and his learnings about Zenos races and the great enemy of mankind. Okay. Okay.

So it's kind of like, you know, it's just a little, what I want to say? Codex on Zenos aliens, almost. Pretty much. From the perspective of this Duke. And among many things that he finds in the Blackstone Fortress as well as out of it,

discussions with compatriots and companions and so on. For example, pretty early on, he talks about something known as Spindled Drones. That's actually a model you can have in the, you can see them floating around in the back of that blue picture, shy post him. Spindled Drones are like a little excerpt he writes about how these are in almost every single vault of the Blackstone Fortress. and they kind of just dittle themselves around, walk around the place with their funny little legs and stuff, and this big old eye.

And once they get close, or once you enter an area you're not supposed to be them, they immediately just start slicing you to bits. Just butchering you all apart because it's their guardians. It's threat detection, basically. Oh, okay. So those are, so did they slice you apart with like the legs or does that one eye start shooting lasers and stuff? I believe it's a little bit of both, but mainly slicing a part of the legs. It is noted in the book that a good shot to the eye is a good way to take them down. Naturally.

And the last sentence states, I would strongly advise against any attempt to diplomacy. Well, yeah, because they're drones. You can't talk down a drone that's programmed to do a specific thing, right? No. There's also guardian drones, which are much, much bigger. and Guardian drones require mass fire, artillery, heavy plasma weapons, etc. They are very weird in the sense that they will often make their smaller little spindle drones go all frenzying and start attacking you really fast and harm.

But they, in a weird way, with the, with the butcher targets that they use, they try to like sew it into the surface of the fortress. The idea is that they basically, like, they kill you, and then they bury. your corpse in the walls. They build it up with the walls. The wall, not the walls. We're going back to the walls. We're in the walls again.

Also, look at their, look at their doofy little arms. They're dupo the little T-Rex arms. They're just dooby-diboo-bo-bo-bo-oo-y. Shai says to like, keepers of the Citadel in Mass Effect, but I'd say they're more like, if the keeper of the Citadel was like a reaper, a reaper,

A reaper brute. Yeah, had like a Glock. Yeah, because the keepers won't go after you if you're in a if you're in a part of the citadel that they don't want you to be in, right? Like these things will like, and get you. Please do not disturb the keepers. Even though we keep scanning them. Yeah. God, that achievement was annoying to get, by the way.

That was an awful achievement. Awful. Just disgusting. Mass Effect 1 is, is, got a lot of problems. So anyway, moving through that, we get into some of the more interesting stuff. Let's talk a lot, actually,

at good length, about crout. Because... Ooh, the crude, that's right. One of his companions is a crout. It says that during his early days, he encountered a specimen known as Dyak G-G-R-E-H-G-H-G-H-G-E-H-G-E. Get that flam out, dude.

Get that flam out from the bottom of your throw it. We're going to call him Greck. Okay. He was, or Greck, was wounded and in the process of being tortured to death by mercenaries, human mercenaries. And granted, the rogue trader really didn't much care about the crout, but the mercenaries decided to insult his ancestry.

And he just couldn't let that slide. The rogue traitor that is, because he's a Duke and he's an encouraging guy. Yeah, of course. Yeah. So after killing them, Grech decided that he owed him a life debt and swore to protect him. Ah, I got the Jar Jar treatment. Yeah.

Wait. Is that what he did? He didn't. Yeah. Do you swear his life? Obi-One saved his life, and then instead of his people torturing him and or killing him, he was just like, oh, yeah, you know, Jar Jar Jar owes me a life debt because I saved his life, so he's coming with me. Wow. I like to forget as much as I can about that, but all right. You're welcome. Thank you. Anyway, so Greck is now basically kind of acts as a little bit of a bodyguard and helper with the rogue traitor.

And he apparently, it's actually quite nice to Grech in this book. He says he really respects him as a useful and insightful companion. He has a very like primitive human kind of thing to him. And he kind of appreciates it. Yeah, I feel like Chewbacca is a much better. Thank you, Shai. That's much better there with this one. Yeah, they show Chewbacca's origins in, I forget, which... Solo. Drek gives a lot of insights into Crout as a species. Obviously, Crout are quite physically tough. They're very hardened bodies and muscles. They have that kind of avian face.

Scales. Got that beak and that fringe hair. Tall, slender, quite agile. Very cool. But the more interesting things is that to go along with the... actual crout, the biology of the crout, is that one,

they're actually like, they're racial. Crutes have various types of skin colors and, and evolutions. And they're also extremely widespread. Apparently they're like everywhere. Just on feudal,

or not feudal, like, you know, feral, regular jungle planets and stuff. Yeah. And we saw a crout in the, Caius cane book. Oh, was it Caivis cane? Yes, it was

Caius cane, yeah, yeah. And weren't they, wasn't he like gonna eat someone? He's like, oh, this person tastes icky, must be a jean stealer or something like that. Correct. So that's actually an interesting part of it. Because he speaks about how he was under the impression that crude will eat almost anything, but it is in fact quite far from the truth. Now, they are able to digest most kinds of meat, both raw and freshly killed, but they're very, very selective

because it's not just about providing sustenance, it's about providing quote-unquote insights that can be an ability or like a memory, if we're going with a mass effect thing, think like Javik. Oh, okay. Instead, you eat them. So, like, if I were,

if I was a crew and I were to kill you, D.K., and eat your body, I would have some of your memories, and if you know any other languages, I would then probably know the language. That's a meal you don't want to have If you get my memories Drek immediately throws on an anime girl

Tootoo or something He starts he starts fondling a hug pillow or something A big boob mouse pad Yeah hell yeah Hell yeah brother Anyway so in the beginning It seems like It's actually more

Digesting certain things can in a sense Change the biology of the crout If they just Eat anything and everything, they might just maybe become dumb. They might just become dumb. And thus how humanity was born. There's a great part here.

It says, at first this behavior seems reprehensible and vulgar. Crout have absolutely no concept of table manners. I like that. Yeah, I can just imagine a crude just killed, just a fresh kill, and he's getting ready to. hold on, let me put in the, let me put in the napkin, and he tucks it into his collar. And, you know, says a little prayer, gets out a fork and knife and very, you know, starts cutting off a finger. They speak in things like weird cliques and like tongues kind of stuff like that often.

But yes, they are apparently very annoying deal with in terms of eating, especially because we have Mr. 12th Duke of Terra. Yeah. There's also a couple. There's a couple other crude types. There's the Crute Hawk, which apparently he has never seen, but Drek has mentioned before. They got that big bird one you see on the bottom right. The idea is that the meat that they found was definitely pushing more toward the bird thing.

That's kind of how they evolved over so many years. Or like a bat or something. Oh, like a bat. There's the crew talks. I believe that this is actually something. I think this actually has a model. I was going to say with how many different variations there are and how much... That's right. It's so ugly.

I'm sorry. Oh, that's okay. I was just going to say, like, with how much variation there is and how much versatility they could have, I would love an actual, like, crude army if that could be a thing. Because it sounds like you could make some really cool minis out of this. and that'd be cool. I mean, granted, they never will, because, you know, I don't know how much of a seller the crout would be,

but that's kind of a cool mini, actually. I don't hate that. Really? I hate it. I think it looks so awful. Is it because of how derpy the sort of gorilla crout thing looks? A little bit? I just think it looks bad. I think the crout on his back looks all right.

I mean, yeah, the gorilla thing is a little, I don't mind it, actually. I don't hate it. All right, fair enough. I mean, hey, you do you, but I do not like it one bit. I think it looks awful. Well, you also like SpongeBob. You do realize how many enemies you make with statements like that, right?

Yeah, yeah, I do. Yeah, okay, good. Anyway, crude talks are croutes that are super large and chunky. Like, the thing that he's on is a crout. Yeah. It is just a crout that has gone to become so tough and strong that they have, because they've eaten basically everything in sight. Oh, I thought you were going to say it just primarily focused on maybe like

guerrillas, muscular stuff, sort of primal animals. And so it kind of adapted to what it was eating. And it just kind of turned into this sort of a Ongabunga bonga, you know, power first type of deal. It could have started that way. Sure. But at the moment, they don't really gain any insoling. insights from their food anymore. They're not very smart.

They've lost a lot of intelligence by just eating everything and anything. So they just become base instinct, big, hulking mass. So if you're a crude, would it be better to be selective of what you eat so that you don't necessarily become a mindless Hulk? Yeah, that's the point. Like the mentioned before, that crude is not a,

eat everything, it's picky. It's a picky eater. so only eat certain things, so it doesn't become this way. Okay, gotcha. Chai says croup planet was... How did that already put out of my mind? Chai says, Krupe Planet was once attacked by Necrons.

They fought them off and tried to eat the necrons, which caused them to evolve to have nanosized conoptic scarabs inside that immediately killed off all the crew on the planet. Oh, no! Let's go, Necron supremacy. Oh, no. Oh, but for a second, they did evolve to be sort of pseudo-nequan-esque before

oh, yuck. Oh, crout. There's also a couple other crutes. There's a crout hound, the little dog. Oh, yeah, okay. A little angry, screechy crout dog. There's also the narlok, which is basically a gigantic winged crew talks.

It is a big flying crew. I immediately think of like the Avatar movie with the big flying dragons they have to tame. Oh, yeah, the band. Is that what that's called? That's what the humans call them. Okay. I think of it like that.

Giant Crute Flyer kind of deal. Yeah, Banchi's kind of makes sense. So, I mean, those are a lot of the variations of Crout. I do remember that there was something hilarious. Oh, there it is. It said the more time I spent with Grech, the more I sense that his glowering monosyllable nature is a ruse. And I've caught glimpses of wry, dark humor in him. I believe the crew only played a part of savages.

They carry crude rifles and dress in rags, but cross the void in ships more efficient than anything in the Imperial Navy, because Tao. Oh, okay. Apparently, they're kind of playing down how much they know and how smart they are. A little bit. It says

one occasion, Greg became unintentionally intoxicated and began singing saying, this is one of the times he was breaking his facade. It said the poison in his blood reminded him of something called V-A-W-K.

The singing was so shocking and so unpleasant that it took me a moment to realize he was using Gothic. Oh. I something about drunk lizard

crude thing, just go into town drunk karaoke Bacamitai as just I love it. I love it. I love it. He was apparently singing of something called the Battle of the Nothing Sea. And it's a long section, so I won't really go into it.

He was Dame Dane. Was he Dome Dome? Yeah, he was Dome Dome. Someone's going to use the AI thing to just have the Crout saying Dame Domey now for a video. You're welcome. Excellent. You're welcome. But it's interesting seeing like the crude companion how much.

He's often talks on like riddles and weird things like that, But then I guess he got drunk and started singing about an old tale, like a drunk seafarer, you know. Ah, drunken sailor. Yep. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, that's really it for the crude section of the book. There's a whole section right after this about ab humans that I'd like to actually say for another episode, because I, like I said, I wanted this episode to be a little bit shorter.

I want to talk about something that I just really like. And we've talked about this already, but you probably forget it all because you forget everything. Yeah, that's true. Fair enough. And so I want to talk about the Cattachin wildlife. Oh, what a shocking development. Oh, my, you of all people want to talk about Cattachet, no. You got more? No, I'm done.

You got more? Oh, you can keep going if you like. I was going to wait as long as I needed to. Shy, I don't want to make this episode too long for, boy shy, you know. Anyway, thank you very much, you son of a bitch. So there was also a catachin person that the rogue trader got a chance to talk with and meet and discuss. This was a man known as Kircher, K-I-R-C-H-E-R. Okay.

His name, sorry, let me phrase that. His name was Led Boot Kircher, holding court in one of the large, booths in a saloon over in this drinking den, basically. So when he sneezes, he needs a hang kerchief. That was awful. That was so awful. That was not even good. I'm disappointed at how shit that was.

Holy shit. I live for those reactions. So, anywho, he was basically, he was a catachin guy there. and a catachin guy and a bar is just like, it's like seeing an ogre, a small ogre. They're just so big, man. They're giant. And he was talking with him,

and he said he demanded drinks as payment for every brutal tale he tells him. And by the row of empty cups array before him, he had already explained several of his battle trophies to the various denizens of the bar. Okay, okay. So he wanted to learn more about Apex Predators. And so he would go ahead and talk about the various things on Catechum.

The first one being, of course, the Catechin devil. Mm-hmm. The devil. The devil. The scorpion-like arachda that grows up to 100 feet in length. That's the one that's kind of like a train bug, right? Yeah, I mean, train bug is, is, train bug more like because it's so long and stuff. It's not like actually the train size.

Yeah. ain't nobody riding this thing, because if you're riding it, you got eaten by it, and you're dead. Well, the 100 foot in length catching devil as a barbed tail with venomous sting and a maw with poisonous tentacles, of course. The rainforests are just completely teeming with it, and the guardsmen consider it a right of passage to kill one. Holy moly. All right, cool, cool, cool, cool. I like how on the picture shy posted It's uh

It's markings even have like a skull pattern On the that front Uh Sithe thing Oh the his left The left thing looks like a little Like a little gross skull Yeah

Yeah the claw The claw The claw The villain of its picture gadgets Oh yeah I guess it is a claw I didn't see a little Okay yeah you're right It's a claw

Um he says In order to For his first encounter with one of them explained he had to fight it with nothing but a combat knife, as tradition indicated. Oh, gosh. After several, after several injuries, parentheses, he pointed out horrific scars. He had been unable to get close enough to land a killing blow. Then, tapping his metal leg, he revealed in a nonchalot tone that he deliberately allowed

the devil to lock its mandibles around his leg so that he had a chance to punch his knife through a weak spot in his carapace while it was feeding on him. He knew this would cost him the leg, but thought it was a little. worthwhile sacrifice to gain entry to the regiment. What a badass. It was an interesting thing. Apparently, catachin devils can actually be rather easily defeated by just placing the discarded carapace of another catachin devil near it, which will then get like territorial and then you can just jump on the beast. But he considered it, quote, a cowardly ploy.

that's fair but had the gall to suggest that I the rogue traitor might need to use it if I ever was on Katachin because I'm too weak because you're too weak you're just a normie human wow all right

there is a image for this next one okay okay the Katachin face eater shy I'm sure you have to be prepped for this one because this is a fucking image I'm assuming it's not like an alien face hugger where it just

you know it's a little it's not that simple looking no oh great all right so this is this is the stuff of nightmares oh my god what the what the hell is it's

does it just shroud itself over your face and then just eat you what in the what in the explain so the first line is even by the standards of an astromilitarum veteran, Kircher was an ugly man.

The bowling structure of his face was brutal and angular as though hammered rather than grown. They did not seem to fit. Turns out it's because he had a replacement face grafted onto his skull after being removed from one of his fallen comrades. So face eaters are fauna that disguise themselves as flora

and are found across the jungles of his home. They usually resemble a large pallid leaf or a thin bracket of fungus, but also adopt other forms, and they wait patiently for months or years before they slowly float off of wherever they are and pounce on the enemy prey. They begin digestive processes as they come into contact with the face, block air holes to suffocate the victim and plant larvae in the body.

Oh, gross. Kurtzher had seen the creatures in action and knew what lay in store when one latched onto his face as he tried to get a drink from a stream. Knowing he had seconds to live, he used his combat knife to cut away his face. Oh my God! And throw it back into the stream with the parasite still attached. Quote, he did not seem overly concerned by this loss, stating that he preferred his new face. Oh, ay, y, y. This man cut his own face off to survive and then found one of his dead men and took his face, Hannibal Lecter style.

Oh my God. Maybe he was super ugly before, so he was like, hey, kind of an improvement. You know, it could be worse. But it cut his own damn face off. Yo, sorry, Nicholas Cage. Oh, damn, I was about to say that, you son of a. I do my best. You got me.

Yeah, it's pretty horrifying, right? Um, yeah, that's, that's, that's, uh, that's that, yep, I'd call it that. Um, the next one is a, is a rather famous one. Uh, the green barking toad, sorry, the great barking toad. This sounds familiar. I vaguely remember something about the, uh, the great barking toad or whatever. This sounds super familiar. It is a toad that, when in slightly provoked.

explodes. Oh, okay. And I'm assuming you could technically throw these things like pseudo-grenades? No, because they agitate way too quick. Ah, okay. I feel like I may have asked that because this sounds like a familiar conversation. So, Kircher explained that the burns over his right hand side were sustained when the rest of his squad disturbed one of the toads.

He was scouting a perimeter half a mile away from his comrade. And he was the only one to survive the blast. He was wearing what looked like a piece of weathered leather around his neck. And he said that was all the toad left of his sergeant. Oh, my God. Man, Katachin, am I right? What a place. What a place.

What a place. You're going for a drink of water and a leaf falls on your head. Oopsie. No more face. You take the wrong step. Oops. I agitated the toad. half a mile long explosion.

Like, shh. I'm very happy you posted that because that's obviously what everyone nowadays thinks of the toad. There's a little text of speech

mean with the tone. Oh, I want to boop the snoot. Yeah, Vulcan touches the toad and he blows up and dies. But then he comes back alive because he's Vulcan. Because he's Vulcan, yeah. Yeah, it's quite shenanigans.

So I got four more for you catachin-wise. Okay. First one we have, These are all fauna. No, flora. Sorry. Because remember, even all of the plants are carnivorous.

The first one is the brain leaf. Oh, no. Not another one of these crazy leaves that latches onto your head and does some inexplicable horror. Well. Oh, sweet. Now I don't even need to describe it. So they fling themselves in the air like a bird

with barbed tendrils that attach to their praise fleck. and are almost impossible to remove, and once in place, spread the tendrils into the body, meshing with the nervous system. They basically become a mindless, they become a zombie. It zomifies them. Oh, it's a brain slug! Yeah, they can only perform minor and basic motor functions,

and unless there is a threat to the leaf, which in what they will act to defend it excessively, as in like a zombie, beating up your friends. Oh, gross. It is Last of Us Leaf. Oh, man. And so does it just like slowly start eating your brains or something? Or does it just like be sort of a pseudo, I don't want to say symbiotic because you don't gain anything by this thing latching onto your head? No, there's nothing symbiotic at all. It's parasitic. That's right. It is completely parasitic. But like, does it feast on you? Does it slowly eat away at you until nothing's left? Or does it just latch on and?

like what does it do once it grabs you? Oh, Shai says the brain leaf uses its victims to protect itself and propagate its young. Of course it does. That sounds about right, yeah. It looks like a zombie would go trying to spread the virus. Yep, yep. It said brain leaf can be removed from the victim, though it's incredibly dangerous to the victim. If they aren't killed by the agonizing procedure, they will suffer permanent nerve damage.

I believe that. Yeah, permanent nerve damage seems like the least of your worries if one of these things is a attached itself to you. I must say, there's a humorous part here that says that, incredibly, members of various catch in Asthma Militar Margements race through Brainleaf Groves as a right of passage. Oh, my God. That's, oh, boy, that is a right of passage. I do not want to take part in at all.

I like, I just love how, they just have a suicide of things to jewell. join the Astromilitarum Regiment, which really goes with the idea that the Katachins are some of the toughest sons of bitches out there. It's like, oh, kill the devil, run through the zombie leaves. It's, that's, that's a lot. And also the hardest one of them all, survive to your 20s. Yeah, that is, if you meet a Katachin, it's like, oh, yeah, I survived on Katitin into my 40s, it's like, whoa. Whatever you want, sir, yes, sir, sir, just, hey, I don't want to make you mad. Yeah, holy jeez.

The next one is a simpler one known as the spiker. It's a big, big, spiky ball. Oh, apropos name. And it fires out spines when you get close to it in every direction. And if one would pierce the skin, it is doomed as toxins flood the bloodstream and alter their anatomy. If it is human, it may manage to stumble around for an hour or something. sprouting spines from their flesh. But it is so fast acting that they will not understand what is even happening before they have

completely turned indistinguishable, just like the original spiker. Oh boy. So it's like Sonic the Hedgehog from hell. That is, why is it like that? What do you mean, why is it like that? Why, just because it has spikes? Yeah, and it curls up into a bowl? No, it just is a ball

Oh It just fires quills Yeah well Yeah look at that gift of Of Sonic going fast That's the same thing He's all spiky and stuff too This thing

I think this thing is immobile He's a You know Sonic memes are pretty toxic Like It's the same thing All right It's the same thing

You have been so bad today All right It's the same thing You have been so off today, God damn. Listen, man. Maybe, I don't know. Just keep going. Ah, yeah, shy makes a point.

Anyone who touches it too much comes to walking disease, much like Sonic fans. Exactly. See? See? With their inflation art and everything? Same thing. Okay, great. Breathweed.

Breathweed. Breathweed. That doesn't sound bad. It is unclear if the breathweed is a true plan. or a form of fungus. It grows in the sides of trees and other kinds of vines and it gets you high as shit.

Just kidding, that doesn't put that here. If you were to brush past the wheat, it dissolves into a cloud of spores and a single one that lands on your mouth will attach itself to your tongue. And at this stage, it would be impossible to remove the spore but doesn't even look like anything besides a small blister.

Oh, all right. And then what? It's overlooked, and by a day or two, it is then just absorbed, and no one can see it anymore. Over the subsequent weeks, the spore will eat the tongue from the inside out, growing itself as it does, eventually taking the place as the original tongue and is indistinguishable from it. Oh, God. All right. The tongue is actually a hungry growing parasite that absorbs most of the nutrients that you eat, and therefore the owner of the body will slowly just die

a miserable death of starvation, not understanding as they eat all the food, and when they die, their tongue will dissolve, releasing into more spores. Oh, just lovely. Just, oh man, Katachin sounds like it's just a paradise world. Aye, aye, aye. Certainly a much more insidious,

variant of the stuff. Oh, yeah. Well, couldn't they figure it out? Wait, Shai has a fun fact. I want to know the fun fact. Oh, no. It exists in real life. No.

I don't like this fun fact anymore. It's inspired by Simahtoa Exguua, a parasitic isopod, which attaches to a fish's tongue and eventually replaces it. Oh, so kind of like how corticeps is a, is like an actual thing. Yeah. But if you're on catachin,

wouldn't you get like used to the idea that like, oh, if there's a blister on my tongue, chances are I got this thing. Like, even if it's like, oh, the blister went away. Oh, cool, whatever. Like, if there's a blister on your tongue and you're on catachin, aren't you just like,

uh-oh, I know what this means. I don't have a tongue anymore. Second point. How often do you think Katachin people get blisters? Well, right, but how often do you think they get them on their tongue? I don't know. They're in Katachin. I mean, that's true. Like, God knows what kind of food they have to eat.

That probably just gives you blisters in general. That's true. They probably, like, eat pine cones and stuff and shit gold. I guess I didn't think about, like, what the average. diet of a catechin soldier person citizen gree is so yeah i guess that's true that that could go completely undetected because oh yeah i'm eating spines

anyway and bones um the last one we have here is the venous man trap please tell me that's just a giant venous fly trap that's carnivorous and traps human beings i mean that's about right uh in order to to maintain what I mentioned earlier.

I'm going to keep this one to be the last one for this episode. Keep it a little short before we adopt the next one. But the last one here is just, I think this one just in general, really, whoa!

Oh, yeah, yeah, there it is. The picture of it is not what I was expecting. So I feel like there's nothing that really grasps catachin than this thing right here. It is a large carnivorous plant that is basically, it looks like flora,

and fauna at the same time and it's just extreme. It is spiky. It is giant jaws and it does not in fact wait for you to go in them but it will reach out and grab you. Oh yeah, that thing looks like it would

absolutely just, you know, you're just whistling, just do do do do and a and it will grab, apparently grab and drag you to your death at the strength of a large predator. Apparently, as is Katachin tradition, many jungle fighter regiments require a guardsman

to snatch a pedal from the heart of the man-trap before being promoted to the rank of sergeant. Cattachin rituals suck. Cattachin rituals blow. This is awful. Like, it's hard enough to survive this place, but, like, these rituals are ass. All right, man, you want to join the guard?

Kill a catachin devil. All right, ma'am. You want to join other parts of the guard? Run through the brain leaf grove. All right, buddy. you've done a great job. You've now survived two engagements with the tyranids. Now it's trying to promote you to sergeant.

Grab that leaf off the man. If they survive the, then with tyrannids, probably aren't. If you can survive the tyrannids, chances are the Venus man trap is, you know, a step down from a nid horde.

Probably just slightly, if anything. Ever so slightly. Look at those guns! Oh, my God. Oh, dude, it's catching. I know. No, but like, I mean, with everything they have to go through, of course they're going to be built like a stone wall. But, oh my God, those are like 30-inch pythons on his arm.

Holy moly. Got to think about the concept of like, all right, here we got the good old catachim who have been, lived in this world for what, like 6,000 years. Oh, yeah, oh, there he is putting an orc in a headlock. What a guy. What an absolute beefcake. Also, does he have like, what's up with his arm? Does he have bones pierced through it?

Shit, he does. Is that like some catachin decoration? I mean that most likely. It wouldn't surprise me. It's like, you pierce your ears, I pierce my biceps. We are not the same. Question is, do they talk like, do they talk like Southerners or they talk like Australians? Oh, totally Aussies, dude.

Also, let's not forget, like, let's not forget Katachin women. Like, this is one of the female tank commanders, you know? Uh-oh, Epic and Bed Failure laugh at disuser. It's just taking a second. I'm fine. Damn, damn, damn, damn. But yeah, yeah, Katachin women are indistinguishable from the men. They're gigantic. They're huge.

Damn, one of those guns. Geez. Yeah, there's the York School on the front, you know. Jeez, let's go. Katachinar, that is a wild planet to live on. Where is that? Oh, there it is.

I was looking for this image for a while, too. The more recent one of fighting the demons. Look at that dude. Oh, yeah, I remember this picture. Wow, that's a. big gun. Is that a normal-sized boulder?

That's a, geez. I did not realize how big bolters were. I really did not. I don't know. I guess it's just because space springs are so huge and they just one-hand it

like it's nothing babbidi-boop-boop-boop-boop. But good Lord, that thing is gigantic. It's a really good time. Anyway, like I said, I want to keep this episode a bit short because we had delays

and I have some tech problems and stuff. Okay. This has been fun. though. Croutes and Crut and Katachin. You know, we covered

a few things we already covered before. Crutichin. But we'll talk a bit more about some of the various human ab humans and also some

of the sump creatures next time around. Really creepy like things that live in the dredgens of hive worlds and stuff like that.

Just really nasty stuff. My favorite type of human isn't ab human because I do love the abs. All right, D.K. How much money do you have to give me So I can make a towel Um

Torch Star Body Pillow How much money do I How much do they cost? Just let me know I mean aren't body pillows like normally around 80 bucks For like the really good high quality tricot stuff Probably I've never bought a high quality body pillow Try and the episode I need to do some research

You know,