Adeptus Ridiculous - VOSTROYAN FIRSTBORN - A FAMILY TRADITION | Warhammer 40k Lore

Episode Date: December 27, 2023

https://www.patreon.com/AdeptusRidiculoushttps://www.adeptusridiculous.com/https://twitter.com/AdRidiculoushttps://orchideight.com/collections/adeptus-ridiculousThe Vostroyan Firstborn are Imperial Guard Regiments. Vostroya is a world in the Halo Zone beyond the Eye of Terror, which swore allegiance to Mars during the Age of Strife. It is now ruled by a committee of Techtriarchs, a mix of Mechanicus Magi and more traditional Imperial planetary government. During the Horus Heresy, Vostroya refused to provide regiments to the Emperor, preferring instead to reserve the population in the manufactoria blanketing the world. After the Heresy, the Vostroyans, out of guilt, agreed to supply every family's firstborn son to service with the Imperial GuardSupport the show

Welcome everyone to another episode of the Adeptus Ridiculous podcast. My name is D.K. Diamanty's. His name is Bricky. Merry Christmas, everyone. Or I guess belated Merry Christmas. Whatever. Anyway, if you enjoy today's episode of the podcast and you maybe want to support us, head over to patreon.com slash Adeptus Ridiculous,

where you can get access to our Discord, bloopers if they happen. The $15 tier gets you access to all of our digital posters in crispy HD digital format. great, patreon.com slash adeptus, ridiculous. Bricky, you know what to do. Oh, yes, sir, I do. Make sure you read Lion's Son of the Forest for our book club. It's about an old man, and he's great. And also, this is coming out the 27th of December. So you have very little time to grab all of the remaining posters and the little blood merchandise including sweatpants and the zip-up hoodie. The regular shirt will stay, but for the most part, all of that fun stuff is heading out,

particularly the posters. So grab them while they're hot. You got a couple days left before we stop producing them and sell off the remaining. Act now. Act now. Snag that down in the description at orchidate.com. So, how was your Christmas, D.K.? It was pretty plain, just hung out with the family.

You know, nothing major to report. Just, you know, just chill, normal. You know, you know, you know. How was your Christmas, Bricky? Oh, you know, Christmas Day was great. It was nice. I spent time with the family, did the usual classic Christmas stuff. Christmas Eve, a little less great, got food poisoning.

And puked my absolute guts out for 20,000. hours. So Christmas Eve did not get the chance to see the mom's side of the family, unfortunately. Yep, praying to the portion to record this. So you get the chance to record this episode. So for our viewers, we're recording this the day before it comes out. So hey, you get shy extra love today for doing, editing this on vacation because I decided to eat a parasite or something. Yeah, yeah. So massive, massive applause. to shy for putting in the work on vacation. To make up for my...

You know, at least I wasn't sick, sick like I normally am. At least there was just some bug. I'd say you were sick. Yeah, but I wasn't... I didn't have the flu or something. It's true. I ate something bad and those strawberry shortcake ice cream pops have truly... Yeah, you had a strawberry shortcake pop from 1999.

They wouldn't look any different ones. with all the preservatives and stuff. No, they would not. It's like a twinkie, right? This looks the same. Why is the sell-by date 2002? This thing was made when Halo C.E. came out. Yeah.

Anywho, today will be a nice, simple episode. It's not going to be particularly crazy because this episode is going to be on, you know, something not necessarily Christmas-related, but cold. Oh, cold. So it's just cold, like the winter season. Yeah, so it wanted to be a nice, relaxing, simple episode.

So me and Shai decided, oh, you know what we haven't done in a while? We haven't done an imperial guard regiment. You know, as soon as you said something cold, I was like, is this going to be that one guard regiment that's like, they have like fur line stuff? And isn't their thing like they have like a blue outfit and they're kind of like, are they like Soviet themed? So you're so you're close. We had two options. We had the Vostroian firstborn and the Valhallaun Ice Warriors.

They're very cool names all around. The ones you were referring to are the Volhollen Ice Warriors, which are literally just the Red Army. Uh-huh. It is just the Soviets. That's definitely the ones. one I was thinking of, yeah. Literally just the Soviets. And we thought that they were very boring.

Because they're literally just the Soviet army. They are just the Soviet army. They are the Red Army in space. So we chose the better option. We don't have a quote because there aren't any real quotes for this army because... Merry Christmas to me. All right. So we chose the Vostroian firstborn, which is...

A very fun, very fun guard regiment that has a wildly small amount of lore and it's kind of criminal. Look at that hat. Look at that water buffalo hat. Oh, okay. So, D.K. And the stash. You're, okay, so he's a hat fan. Yeah.

Yeah, I like it. I like it. I like it. there are going to be like at least seven, like a whole seven Vostroian firstborn fans, like diehard fans watching this. And I think the hats are like the part I dislike the most. Well, yeah, they're like they're not stylish or cool.

They're just weird. But yeah, isn't it the, is it the water buffalo? Is that what the hats call the, like there's some... The smaller hats are a little bit better. I like the Vostroian for the color, the filigree, and the mask, which you haven't seen the mask yet, but the mask is baller.

But anyway, yes, so the Vostroian firstborn, I'd say that they're maybe not a super popular faction at all. Those seven fans will hate me for not liking the hats. Yeah, but that's kind of their thing.

But the, like when you look at guard regiments, it goes Cadia, Catechin, Creege, and then the rest, basically. Yeah. And then the rest are all just like very small-knit fandoms that are just kind of like, we love it. But even if there's only like 10 of us. Pretty much. In the prior guard codexes, it went Cady and Cattachin, Vostroian, Armageddon, Mordian, and Volholland.

So there's a little bit of here and there But anyway The Vostroian firstborn So these are the Of course Imperial Guard Regiment that hail from Vostroia If you didn't expect that Wow

I know It's news to me I'm I'm shock We're starting off strong Yeah This is an industrial world And its entire Stick is it makes

Armaments and munitions For the Armed Forces of the Imperium Okay, as most do, sure. So it's a factory world, it's also a ice cold wasteland covered in factories. Okay, I mean, that makes sense, given the way that they look, sure. So back in the day, during the Horace heresy, the emperor requested regiments from Vostroia to fight against Horace. And at the time, every single worker on the planet was heavily involved in the, mass production of arms for the war effort on the Great Crusade in the Horace heresy against Horace.

Everybody on the planet? Every worker on the planet. Oh, okay. I was going to say, if you had a hundred percent work rate of everybody on the populace, like as soon as a baby pops out of the womb, you put a wrench in their hand and they're working on a gun. Like, that's, that is some production. That's more of a, uh, that's more of a Cadian thing. Someone pops out and they're like, here's the last gun.

Here's a last gun. The baby pops out and fight the tiger. But basically they were so heavily involved in the mass production of arms for the war effort that the leading class, the ruling class of Astroia known as the Tech Triarchs, it's just Tech and Triarchs. They believe that to send an army forth would make their production quotas unattainable. and we all know if we played enough lethal company

you got to meet those quotas yeah you gotta meet the quota you gotta send the tithe I mean we had a whole series in the bad ab war specifically talking about paying the damn tithe yep we had a whole series on what happens

when you don't pay the tithes so they refused they said sorry biggie we will not give you soldiers we are too busy making guns and stuff, no. Ooh, that could not have gone over well. Even though it is completely justifiable

and logistics say, yeah, we can't do it, I am sure that did not go over well with the Imperium. Honestly, I think it was kind of a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation. They send forces, that's great, but then the Mechanicus will be upset. You're not meeting their quotas and then they get really mad about that. Yeah.

So, regardless. This refusal was actually not initially met with any difficulties from Terra. They were a little preoccupied. However, after the Horace heresy, the administratum was checking on their massive rolls of parchment paper on the war effort, checking on their tolls and death tolls, and eventually saw their refusal to aid the emperor. The administratum is getting involved. That's not good. We don't like when the feds get involved. No. So the main tech triarchs were called in and oversaw by Gilliman himself post-heresy

to determine the personal ramifications of their failings. The tech triarchs were actually pretty like, they kind of welcomed it. They were very much in this case, because the emperor was in a sense killed. kind of sort of. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there's a lot of guilt there. There's the possibility that they, like, helped attribute to that.

So they said, hey, Bobby G. We screwed up. Whatever you got to do to us, like, do we get it. And interestingly enough, Gileman, because out of all the primarks, he has maybe a little bit more of a soul. I mean, this is Perchirabba. I mean, good God.

Yeah, yeah. If you have any chance at appealing to, common sense. It's probably with Gileman. Fair enough. Sanguineas, but he ain't around anymore. Yeah, that's a tough one. So, Gilliman and the Tetriarchs work together and created a surprisingly light punishment,

but a proper one that benefited both sides. To atone and repay their debt, the Vostroians must give their firstborn child from every family to the Imperial Guard. Oh, every single firstborn? Every firstborn child from every family. There are no exceptions to this penance. The nobles cannot escape it. The rich, from the downtrodden, the slums to the highest spire,

your firstborn child must be given to the Imperial Guard forever. There is no end to this penance. Forever in all times, no matter what. And all times your firstborn child must go to the guard. Originally it was only for men. It was the firstborn son, but it changed to men and women because it's good to have the both. Oh, man. So their punishment was essentially the sins of the father are passed on to the sun.

Do you remember when, do you remember in the bad-ab war when that one planet was deemed incorrectly, like, fit by the Inquisition? and incensed them to eight generations of indentured servitude. Yeah, the generational slavery, yeah. Yeah, so, like, you know, this is not terrible. At least they can have more kids. That's true. That's true. Although, if I was, I mean, I'd be like, guys, we gotta stop fucking.

Like, no more kids. They're just gonna get sent off to the guard. Oh, my God. Hey, it's just the firstborn. True, true, true. It's just the firstborn. What if you have twins that are born at like the same time? I don't know.

They pick one. Whichever one looks the ugliest. Yeah, which. Geez. Glad to see you're not vain in any way, shape, or form. Oh, not on the slightest. No, no, no, no. So this is the penance that Vostroia has been dealing with and has continued to do so without fail for the last 10,000 years. Wow.

They have stuck to their penance. They have stuck to their quota of men and women. and this is where the Vostroian firstborn Imperial Guard Regiment have been created. Ah, so it's a very literal firstborn, eh? Okay, because they're all firstborn children. Ah, from Vostradian. Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool.

It actually makes it relatively interesting because unlike it a lot of Imperial Guard regiments that are created in large swaths at a time, the Vostroian are a consistent trickle, of new troops as they are born, trained their entire lives to be in the guard as the firstborn son or daughter, and then sent off to war.

Okay, okay, okay. So it's a rather interesting little concept they have going on here, and because of it, a whole culture has been created around the firstborn child being removed. For example, Oh, yeah, yeah. The planet is still currently meeting the Adetus Mechanicus quotas.

So the firstborn will, however, the firstborn will always come first. They will always be the number one most important thing before any kind of quota to the Mechanicus. Because to them, it's penance to the emperor himself. Yeah, it's penance for being part of the reason the emperor died in their eyes anyway. Right. or I'm sure they take a little bit of guilt out of it. Yeah. But actually, the fact that they've lasted 10,000 years

and still sent people is actually a pretty big point of pride for them. It makes them quite stoked to, like, say, yeah, we've met our person quota for 10,000 years. Yeah. Although, I guess, even though they're like, oh, yeah, we have to send a firstborn. They're like, well, yeah, we need to have more kids, though. Like, we can't just stop at one. because if we stop at one, our civilization's probably going to die out,

and then we can't keep making stuff for the adeptus mechanicus and weapons, because the firstborn are going. If we stop at one kid, well, you know, it wouldn't take long for them to, you know, die out because all the kids are getting sent off to the guard. Well, and also, as we've mentioned many times in this series, the one thing humans are really good at

is fucking. Yeah, it's having that good old sex. Having a little bit of the old sex. The reason the humanity is a major playing force in the galaxies because they bang a lot. Yep, they bump nasties quite a bit. What else are you going to do when you live as a hive worker? True, true. So, because of this, though,

it's actually created a huge culture on Vestroy itself. when the firstborn child is taken to the guard, they are still kept on Vestroia and are often shrained in the more desolate, awful wastelands of the planets that aren't in the factories. But in the factories themselves, each worker in their 10-hour shift,

because they have 10-hour shifts, of course. Of course, which is actually quite light in the Imperium. Yeah, I was going to say for the Imperium, that's a short day. That's a pretty casual day. You're not working 24-7. Yeah, that's not bad. But out of the 10 hours, they are given one hour specifically to dedicate to the upkeep and artifice of the firstborn regiment.

So one of the big fancy things about Vestroyo is the Vestroyo Firstborn is none of their gear is mass produced. It's all handmade. Oh. And so you'll notice a lot that a lot of their weapons, their Lazz guns and stuff are super, um, Like, boyous? I don't know the word specifically, but it's like. I thought you're going to say buoyant. I was like, wait, they float.

No, but they're extremely, um, uh, like, they're fancy. They're, they're often woodstocks with gold filigree. Lots of fancy gold filigree. They're intricate and different and wacky. They all, they're all different in some way. Yeah, all of their stuff looks really fancy, very cool. Love, love the vibe. Love the vibe.

The hats are a little goofy, like you said, but the whole rest of it is very cool. I know people are going to, like some people just love the hats. I don't do the hats myself, but some people adore the hats. Yeah, it's a certain kind of style for sure. I'm not sure I love it, but I love the rest of it enough that I'll give the water buffalo hat a pass. So to me, there's a couple bits of like artwork for the Austroians that are out there. There's tons of fan art for it because they just, you know, they just look really cool. But if I had to point out that my favorite particular part of it, it's their custom masks,

which remind me a lot of the Hellgast masks. Oh, yeah. Yeah, those masks are very dope, especially in that artwork. Oh, it looks so threatening. It looks so like he's coming to eat you. Like, that's a horror game monster chasing you. The big bright red eyes mixed with the with the kind of Darth Vader slash old school space marine grill is just this incredible combo. Oh yeah, definitely.

It just looks great, but not just that. They also often, because as it's very clear, the visual appeal of the firstborn are, okay, the minis are very old, by the way. These are all metal sculpt from like 1993. In all fairness, for old metal models, those look fine. Those don't look that bad. They look okay. So maybe I'm maybe I'm the problem then. But for example, like I have been recently building up some more guard.

And I have been building up the new, the new casercin models that came out recently. And these are the new, um, what is it, the Imperial Guard, Casserkin, Acadian guys, and the models just look, like, they just look so. Oh, yeah, I mean,

so good. Okay, that looks a lot better, for sure, but again, those are, wow, those do look really good, holy good. I think the Casserkin models are arguably some of the best guard models in the game currently. It's unfair to compare them.

That being said, it's just, you know, I would like to see some new ones. If you've been building these up for a while and then you look back at the old ones, it probably is like, wow, those old ones are trash. Because those new ones, holy. But to me, the old ones don't look too bad. Like the gun on that one that Shai just posted is pretty rough, but the guard minis themselves,

they look all right. For older men, they look fine. I would have been happy with those in. When did those come out? Like, what, the 90s? Uh, yeah, whatever it was. Yeah, I wouldn't have been happy with those back then. Shai says, uh, Brick, the Vostroa minis look more, quote, warhammer to me.

These guys look like more normal sci-fi. Fully agree. I, I think that the, um, uh, that the castercan are meant to be a lot more of like a normal sci-fi kind of vibe. Um, I, I think maybe a better, a better example would be like the new KD and command squad that just came out recently. this is this looks a lot more like classic Warhammer Kadia Kadian style to me Oh yeah yeah yeah A little less sci-fi

I mean they look like guys from the 40s because that's what Warhammer Imperial Guard looks like Boy they they look like those guys from that rebel moon movie to me I don't know about you Zach Snyder is a shitty director and I don't know how he gets budget I don't know how. I was wondering how the Warhammer community looked upon Rebel Moon

because I was like, brother. One of the guys is literally called Belisarius. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah, the priest and runner the mechanic of two, I think, right? Or there's a robot that's from the... The Mechanicus Order or whatever the hell is called. The Mechanicus Militarium.

And just like most 40K adaptations, it's a movie is total shit. It's a total riff on, what is it? The Magnificent Seven and the Seven Samurai, total riff on it, 100 million percent. That guy has done two good movies in his life, 300 and Dawn of the Dead remake and everything else has been dog. Anyway, sorry. You hear me viewers? You hear me viewers? Justice League.

sucks. It's awful. The director's cut is still bad. I didn't see either one, so I can't really comment. Sorry. They're both dog shit. Hey, listen, if you like them, viewers, I got, I got nothing to say. I didn't, I didn't see either one. Shai agrees with me, so that's all that matters. Okay, okay. Anyway, sorry to derail this. What the hell are we talking about? Vastroian, right? Vestrian, yeah, yeah.

So, anyway, all of their weapons are therefore handmade and handcrafted. that's kind of one of their it's they're kind of the envy of a lot of other guards because since nothing is mass produced everything is so intricately managed and maintained both their armor and weapons and equipment and it makes sense

because the factory workers are building the weapons that they're like brothers and sisters and aunts and uncles and sons and daughters will be using in war yeah so it better be interesting

and functional and just really like yeah because you know that's your family that's going to be wielding that in in battle. Oh, absolutely. It is literally, like, generations will survive or die based on how well you make their guns. Yeah. Your family's lineage could depend on it. Mm-hmm. You know, so you make the proper gear, the proper. proper items. It's a whole

it's a whole thing and yeah it's true the older the weapons in 40K generally the better they are that's true that's fair so their weapons are probably pretty primo because they are like handcrafted with

care to be as best as they can be that was actually the main rule that they had back in back in the old tabletop thing was called air weaponry, which gave them, I think, better range and, like, better firepower or something. So, yeah, that was part of their whole stick.

Oh, okay. That's a cool rule to have. It fits in really well with the lore. Yeah, it's really fun. Uh-oh, the tower and melee range. Oh, no, the other image of towel dying. Here we go. The tower, you can see the towel.

They're losing. That also includes some of their melee weapons, too. They have this wide variety of intricate melee weapons, things like various curves swords and scimitars and other kinds of dueling weapons. Nothing is standard because everything is custom. Yeah. There's not like one like Vistroyan firstborn pattern gun because everything is just custom made for each person.

So it's all just a variety of stuff, which is kind of cool actually, that everybody has like sort of pseudo-unique weapon. John Blanche artwork, my beloved. His Lasgun is also an axe. Oh, hell yeah. That's so cool. I thought that was just an axe when I saw that picture. That's a Lasgun, too?

Yeah, the lasguns at the other side. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, hell yeah. When do we get the chain sword gun? I don't know. I'm sure one of them has it. See, despite the fact that these are all handcrafted weaponry, they still need to follow general things of like Mars STCs and stuff.

So you're not going to get that like iron warriors cursed gun that we've seen in the prior codex. You'll get mildly cursed guns, but you're normally going to just going to get lots of gold filigree and engravings and stuff like that. Oh, the axe gun is cool, though. That's a great drawing. I love that. So for the most part, this actually makes Vostroian pretty effective.

for the most part, because they have carapace armor, which is better than the average flack armor, and their guns are just flat out stronger. Because they are made to be a lot, you know, just the not mass... Handcrafted with love. Love and care from uncle. Yeah,

love and care from uncle and brother and sister that are secondborn. And then you also have a lot of interesting dynamics within the regiment. A lot of times, the firstborn son or daughter of like noble, some high-ranking Tetriarch or something on the planet will have that child

kind of go into an officer position while the dregs in the sumps will generally end up being the line troops because, you know. Yeah, the cannon fodder. Right, because of course. Of course, yep. But even with that, there still becomes this pretty fierce loyalty among each of the regiments because for the most part, a lot of them can end up just serving alongside like an uncle or an aunt, you know? And just not really realize that until they're in there.

And like that fierce loyalty, that familiar ties is so strong. Yeah, and it's kind of cool that like since nobody can escape it, it's like you're in there with like nobility. You're in there with like lowborn. you're in the, like, you know, even though, like, the nobility can end up in, like, commanding roles, it's still kind of cool that, like, we're all in this together, no matter how well off you were, or how lowborn you were, we're all in this together. So there is that, like, really cool sort of familial, sort of tight-knit community to the Vestroy and firstborn, too. Generations will literally live and die

Depending on how well you work with your troops like this So yeah You know, this is this huge Like strength to it And strong kind of mental check that goes along with it Yeah, that sense of community and family Is kind of cool in the guard Because you're going up against it, that's for sure

Oh yeah And also they inspire quite a lot of loyalty with other regiments too. The Vastroian are those kinds of people that if someone else was very how you say they fight alongside

like Kriegsman for example and the Kriegsman show like a fierce loyalty and protection of helpful Vastroian they'll bring it in turn. They are very much like Katachin are cool and everything but I would expect Katachin to kind of look out for themselves

a bit more than others yeah because they kind of have to They're kind of their own their own peeps Yeah But this is a like hey respect us and we will we will literally fight as if you are one of us kind of thing Okay, okay So they're they're they're dope I like them I like them

You fight one you fight all of them Yeah exactly yeah you do If you fight me you're gonna have to also deal with my brother, sister, aunt, uncle And third generational cousin backing me up Yeah you're gonna have to fight my entire bloodline If you attack us So, yeah. So they're a really neat concept.

They're their stick as fun. They have a couple interesting little bits of war gear as well. Well, for the most part, they have the usual stuff. They have the respirator, which looks badass as hell. Their carapace armor breastplates, that is pretty fun. They're fancy sword. That's off. That's everyone's kind of own variation as well as their lasgum.

But the neatest thing is a little thing called the treatise. Alati, Trieta Salati? It's a sacred text written by Saint Nadalia the Grey Lady, a saint of the imperial cult, and the patron saint of the world of Astroia. So it's like a little, it's a little book.

It's a sacred text written by their saint, their patron saint of the planet. So it's like their version of the Bible. Pretty much. If I'm not mistaken, the Vitrian Dragoons and Gant's Ghost have like that little gene-locked book as well. Ah, yeah, the gene

coded whatever it is. Yeah, I always thought that was super cool, that it's like literally gene coded to each of them, and only they can open it, and it's their sacred text. And yeah, love that. So other than that, though, unfortunately, unless you want to talk a little bit more about their cultural look, as in these are very clearly inspired by the Cossacks from Ukraine and Russia. That kind of looking vibe.

A little bit of the, I'd say, like, European soldiers back in, what was the French Revolution, I think? Sure. I haven't been in school for many, many years. I don't remember basic history. Oh, what's this? Generally, Vastroian males sport a mustache views a sign of adulthood and masculine virility in Vostroian society. A man without what is concerned to be openly rejecting his manhood. Wow.

Now look at that. You gotta love some of that in there. Yeah, yeah. Just very subtle. Very subtle. I mean, there are many of Australian women as well, which are also pretty badass looking. They don't have mustaches, but.

Oh, oh, what is? What a badass. What a badass. Look at this guy. Look at this man's stash. Holy. Whoa. Yeah, that is.

That is, that is, man, goals, am I right? Goals. God damn. Shy, lay me, lay on me the novel? Lay the novel on me. There we go.

Lay the novel on me. Wow. He's just like, shy, lay on me. Like, whoa, brother, I don't. D.K., you shut the ass up. Man, what a. Read the goddamn paragraph. Oh, man, I have to read this?

Yeah, you're being sassy. I am. Here's my notes on meta inspiration for Vestroyans. Unlike Valhallaun Ice Warriors, who are literally just Soviet Red Army in space, Vestroyans are a lot more difficult to figure out. Personally, I think Vestroyan firstborn might be somewhat founded on Russian Strzreltzi army regiments created by Ivan the Terrible in the 16th century, because only nobles served in those regiments

and service was lifelong and hereditary. They also share a lot of, especially visual, with Ukraine Cossacks during the Tsarist regime with a splash of Polish and Hungarian hussars. Names of the Vestrians are very Slavic. They use noble titles like Graf, Bulgarian, Ukrainian, Ukrainian, Russian for Count. This is a complete ass pull on my side

but maybe Vastroian being very technically advanced is inspired by the real-life mad scientist Nikolai Tesla who was Serbian and thus also Slavic. There are plenty of memes about Vestroians listening to Russian hard base and speaking in funny Russian accent, but I think they're actually one of the more original factions in the Imperium with inspiration taken from all over Eastern Europe

and that's why James Workshop doesn't give a flip about them and they have shit all for lore. Why do we need to learn about interesting and complex cultures? How about we just steal tripods from the War of the Worlds and plopped him into the effing game? I think that calls for an early lunch, Lamau.

Lamau! Lamau! L-M-A-O. Oh, okay, the Russian strutsi, that looks a lot. Wow, that is. Yeah, that is. Yeah, that's, you know, I think, I think it might be on to something. I, I, that is the, the points that me and her wanted to make at the end of the, at the end of the episode is that I have basically told you all their lore.

I mean, there are a couple, a couple battles and a few named, like, oh, not just not even named characters, really, there's a couple, like, notable ones, of course. but for their most part, like that is kind of the entirety of the Vostroia. And unfortunately, either James Workshop knows that the Kriegsman just sell really well or something, but there are basically no actual minis for any of the other regiments

outside of the old metal ones from God knows how long ago. So they don't have any rules or anything. They don't really do anything anymore. They're just kind of... No, nothing at the current moment. There could be... So the tabletop stuff right now, they've done this thing where you no longer play as a named faction.

You instead play as a... As like an idea of the faction. So it's kind of hard to describe. But for example, like if I go to... If I go to Space Marines... for example, good old space marines, and I look at the task force. Okay. Which space marine chapter do you think is the Firestorm Assault Force?

I would guess the Salamanders. That's correct. Their rules often involve Flamers and Meltas, but you're not the Salamanders. Oh. If I asked you what the Anvil Siege Force is, which do you think they are? Oh, I couldn't Obviously that's the blood angels, correct? Clearly, clearly that's the Blangles, obviously.

The Iron Storm Spearhead. Mm, ultramarines, right? If you go by the name alone, we have Storm Lance Task Force, which that's a little bit more difficult to get, but then you read the rule and it's, this army can advance in charge. Like, oh, it's white scars. Yeah. So it's a lot of that basically.

Got you. Okay. So I'm assuming that at some point there might be a Vostroian type of guard detachment when the codex comes out in like a year that might be an heirloom crafted weaponry. And it's like, okay, it's Vastrian. It's the Vistrian. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

But for the most part, yeah, what Shai posted right there, that is all the minis. have ever had of all time. The Mordian Iron Guard. I love that they have minis of just their dead bodies upwards and downward. Right? Facing down and facing up. Why? Is that if you like, if one of your minis dies in battle and you just want to be kooky,

you just put that where the dead bodies are? You might like put on a base, for example. Here's the Mordian Iron Guard minis. these are older than both of us have been alive. Wow. And it shows. Yeah. Wow.

The Katachin also have minis and they are also surprisingly despite their popularity, very old. Oh, it's that one. It's the meme. It's the meme face. Granted Katachin. I've seen that one. Have been getting a few updated character minis, like this dude straight out of predator. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So they do have a few updated ones, but except for the Death Corps and the Guard, or not the Guard, the Acadians, there really aren't any other major ones. Yeah. There are a ton of fascinating

guard regiments out there. There's the, oh, I guess they did make some Talar and Desert Raiders, didn't they? The horse guys, they added a few in the Talar, that's kind of nice. Yeah. But... Whoa, are those all of the...

What's that little page that Shai just posted? These are a bunch of various regiments. This was probably made in... God, 19... Probably 1992 or something. Wow. That's a lot. These are... I mean, you can see

the Catechin Jungle Fires on the third row. Who are the... Who are the Morbideans? What that? Skull armor? Morbindians. Yeah. Which row is that? A third one?

The first on the third row. Oh. Oh, yeah. They look like the great cons from New Vegas. Yeah. Look at these guys. Look at them. But I don't know.

It's tough because, I mean, obviously, 40K is such an enormous universe that every place has a guard regiment. I know there's a really popular one called the McCabean Janissaries that have fought alongside Vastroian in the past because they have these baller masks. Oh yeah, I know about that. I love those masks. I wanted them in Dark Tide just because, you know, I want the mask. Yeah, people, if you put that on a veteran, people would buy that shit immediately. Oh, yeah, they'd make billions of dollars.

Any price. But other than that, that is really where it ends when it comes to the Vostroian. And it's genuinely upsetting because their stick, it's such a good base. You know, like they've laid this incredible foundation for what they are as an army. And just the fact that it's not expanded on is really crushing. Yeah, but it doesn't sell well. They don't see any point in it. And, you know, we know why.

It's still soul crushing that such a cool concept doesn't get. a little bit more love. So, okay. Side, note, we say doesn't sell well. Games Workshop for the last year, six months to a year,

have genuinely done three-week pre-orders for various, you know, new miniatures, and they have sold out within 20 minutes every time they finally go live to everyone else. Wow.

20 minutes? Like the ability, whether it's scalpers, I don't know specifically what the problem is, but they sell out instantly, immediately every single time. Even some of the goofiest space marine miniatures have generally sold out relatively quickly. Like the fire strike servo turret for the space marines like sold out. That thing is ridiculous. A servo turret? It's a really dumb mini. Okay.

Like the desolate, the t-shirt can. and Marines sold out because they were really overpowered. I'm positive if they did, well, okay, now I'm thinking, I'm saying it now. I have a feeling that if they're ever going to do a Australian firstborn thing, they'll do it in a kill team. Yeah, probably test the waters with a killed team and then see how it goes. And wow, that is a really goofy servo turret. You're right.

Yeah, it's very goofy looking. I feel like for the most part, a lot of, a lot of GW, M.O. right now is if you want to have a smaller updated kit, make it as a kill team. Yeah. Definitely. So we have the night lord's new kill team upgrades through. We got the Ork Commandos and the Death Corps of Krieg. We had the Crout, the crew got a redone thing.

Eldar Corsairs, et cetera. Those Nightlord ones look so badass too. Oh my God. Have you bought their entire stock yet? It's not out yet, but I was creaming, creaming my jorts. I could, I could hear it from here. You know, I was like, what is that?

What? And then I looked on Twitter and I was like, oh, that was bricky orgasming from, you know, orbit, you know? Okay. Anyway, games workshop, please make a kill team for the Australian firstborn. Hell yeah. Honestly, even if there's just a singular thing That makes it so that they have a little bit

You know, like one squad of tabletop rules That will be enough And I would be very, very happy Because they need Guard is the 99% of all fighting forces of the Imperium And we gave all of the minis to the 1% space ring group Of course, as always And hey, look shy, as Bricky said

short episode today, eh? I mean, yeah, 44 minutes. Pretty good. I don't know if that's... Are we really calling that short? Yes, every episode's an hour. This is 15 minutes, four, an hour. It's short.

Okay, fine. I win. Make the minis, GW.