Adeptus Ridiculous - Warlord of Warlords: Black Templars Vs Ghazghkull | Warhammer 40k Lore

Episode Date: May 27, 2026

https://www.patreon.com/AdeptusRidiculoushttps://www.adeptusridiculous.com/https://twitter.com/AdRidiculoushttps://shop.orchideight.com/collections/adeptus-ridiculousThe Black Templars thought they were showing up to the feudal world of Gabal to burn away the "urc" filth and bring the planet back into the Imperial fold. They definitely weren't expecting to run straight into the Beast of Armageddon himself. ​This week on Adeptus Ridiculous, Bricky, DK and Kirioth dive into the absolute madness of Denny Flowers' Ghazghkull Thraka: Warlord of Warlords. We are talking maximum Orky goodness: the Blood Axes setting wildly elaborate mountain-crushing traps, Grotsnik performing completely unhinged mid-battle surgery, Glinteef Goldakka's fabled "Mega Smasha" titan-killer WarKopta and Ghazghkull going toe-to-toe with Black Templar Marshal Adenauer.Support the show

Welcome everyone to another episode of the Adeptus Ridiculous Podcast. My name is D.K. Diamantis and I am a human meat popsicle. What the hell is that? I just sat down. What? You never seen the fifth element? Tell them who you are. Oh, you know, I actually haven't. What? What? No, I know. I know it's on the list. It's on the list. I just never got around to it.

know I'm going to love it. Stunlocked. I know. I know. I know. I'm Bricky and I'm about to get put out in the shed after this episode. Do this information I've stated. So true.

I'm Kiry off and Bricky is not allowed a multipass. There you go. Nice. Nice. Lidou Zanis multipass. Round it out. I actually, I do know the multipass though. I have seen that.

That's fair. I also love the doing. I have seen the clip in the beginning where the. dude tries to rob Bruce Willis. He's got that weird voice where he's like, give me the cash, man. Yes. Yeah, and he's wearing a picture of the hallway on his head to fool Bruce Willis

into opening the door because he thinks it's an empty hallway. Which is kind of sick, though, like actually kind of cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bruce Willis is like, oh, nice hat. Love it. Speaking of nice hats. Warhammer. They've got all the fancy hats.

Yeah. We had Warhammer Skulls last week. Did anything tickle any of your taints? I don't think it tickled my taint. It tickled my fancy, because Dark Tides getting Skittari. And I did not think they would ever get Skittari for some reason. I mean, once you get Arbides, I guess like Skittari isn't that far-fetched, but I don't know. I just never thought we'd actually get it.

It is pretty cool. To be fair, it's also one of the few things that I think works perfectly for that as well. Like, you're never going to get a space marine in that. Yeah, it sort of completely defeats the point. But Skittari is like, they're still enough, I'm going to say normal person left. You know what I mean? But they're not like... None of they're a good, Skatari. That's true. They're not at the same level as absolute broken as a lot of the more focused on. stuff when it comes to 40K. So, I don't know.

The trailer was very fun. The trailer was good. Yeah. But of death. Looks like their little hovering skulls are going to be a little friendly turret that you can use, which I love friendly turrets. It did have a little Las Pistol on the side, which I found to be quite humorous. Mm-hmm.

Weird makes you cute and dangerous. Dude, okay. I, I, Shai's mentioning a couple things. She's mentioning the Warhammer X hell divers thing, because she's a big hell divers fam. and like, I gotta be honest. You know that meme of like the two people looking at out the train and one is like looking at the beautiful vision? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Time stamp, you know that meme. What is that about three minutes in? Let's go, excellent, excellent. I know that. I know that. I know exactly what meme you're talking about of the really happy guy looking at the meadow and then the really sad, depressed guy looking at the hellscape.

I know exactly the meme you're talking about. Thank you, thank you. I don't know what happened to the helldiver players because I think Hell Divers is fun. And every time I log into it again, I'm like, ah, this is good old Hell Divers. But then I occasionally just like see something break containment. And like it seems like every single patch,

hell divers are like, I'm going to kill Arrowhead myself. And I don't know what's going on, what's happening out there. I don't know what the Hell Divers community is like what they're going on with. But they seem to be a little, have their, their tities in a twist about something, but I think it's cool. I just kind of wish they showed us anything and not just like, hey, by the way, this is, uh, yeah, hey, by the way, this is, um, two Warhammer Hell Divers. It's going to happen at some point.

See ya. It's probably going to be good, but it, yeah, it would have been nice to know what exactly was coming with it. I don't really play Hell Divers anymore, but like, I still think that's like two peas in a pod. Like Hell Divers and 40K is going to go great. Yeah. I'm, I'm, I'm, hoping it's Sions.

Like, I hope it's not Cadians or Kriens. Because they already have Acadians and Creed sort of kind of. Yeah. With a hot shot Las Pistol maybe. Or a Las Gun, I guess. I guess you don't want a hot shot Las Pistol, do you? I mean, no. They got those.

Yeah. Do they? Okay, cool. Hell yeah. I just love the hot shot guns. Those are so cool. I'm hoping it's going to be Sion's just because, like, those are the drop troops. Yeah.

That makes the most sense. Have you guys played much of Mechanicus 2 so far? I've not. I have played a little bit of it, and I have come to the conclusion that it is just not my game, and I am just too smooth brain to deal with the amount of reinforcements that the Necrons get as I play Admec. I just, I don't know what it is. I even put it on, like, narrative difficulty. I was like, oh, maybe it's too high, and I just, I just, I'm just dumb, I guess.

I played it a decent bit And I've been doing the Necron campaign And I've been and I've just kind of looked up some of the ad met campaign So I've to see how much it's like how different it is Um I think it's it's like fun from a base aspect But I actually think it is like a substantially worse sequel Like I actually it is heavily worse Yeah I kind of wasn't a big fan of the fact that I couldn't

kind of like, because I didn't finish Mechanicus one, but I remember you can customize like all of your troops to do different things. They can have like different cosmetics. You can change their load out. And granted, I only played like an hour, but it kind of looks like you're just picking a preloaded group of people. And yeah,

I kind of, I kind of missed the customization of the ad mech. There is a substantially lower amount of customization. There's also a hell of a lot less to do. Like, you know how you would like pick your pathway in, like, the map? You just don't. Yeah, it just kind of streamlines you into a predetermined path, doesn't it? Yeah, it's like, like, don't get me wrong.

Don't get me wrong. The main Necron Vargard is voiced by Minthara from Baldur's Gate. So she sounds awesome. And it's basically just like elderly catfight the game. which is really funny. But like simultaneously, like, it's, you know, if you're like, oh, I want to see cool Necron stuff in a video game, like, and the cool ad meks stuff in a video game, those things do exist, but I gotta be honest. I, it feels like a substantially worse game than the first one. I'm actually really disappointed at times, but that's a whole, that's a whole other topic.

I'm kind of surprised that it's that much of a difference. I suppose a shame when that happens when there's something that's like actually really well done and then the sequel comes out and it's like oh some of that made it over where's the rest of

the thing we like like it's yeah it just always feels bad actually you know what that's okay I've got a question you played the new the new Space Marine 2 mission right I have it's actually very good

it is it's fine I really like it is it is the end a bit abrupt to you guys as well? Because it felt like it sort of stopped out of nowhere. Yeah, I was expecting a boss fight. I was expecting some kind of boss fight to just pop up because you're in like that little weird like warp area and it's all purpley and there's like that big portal.

And then it's like, no, that's that's it. You did it. Congratulations. We're out of here. Good job, team. Yeah. Yeah. You spend the whole level being like shit talked by a sorcerer as well.

And then he's just not. not really there at the end, which is really odd. That part too, I liked the gameplay part of it a lot. I liked the swamp. I likes the weird orbs. Oh, yeah, I loved those. I liked the stand at the end. I loved all those bits, but you are right.

It was kind of like a little abrupt there. Yeah, yeah. But I did like the mission, though. All right, shy is complaining that we're not starting the episode, despite this being her idea. So, you know, I guess we'll start the episode. Oh, well, before. we do though. Listen, I just started playing Space Marine 2 again. I don't know when it happened,

but I can color all of my Marines like Lamenters. And I am just so happy about that. Anyway, hey, you enjoy on the episode so far? Maybe you want to support us monetarily? Patreon.com slash adeptus ridiculous where you can get access to the Discord. Bloopers if they happen, $15 tier gets you access to all of our posters in just immaculate digital form. Look at Gilliman's Abbs, you know you want them. Patreon.com slash Adeptus Ridiculous. Bricky, tell them about the merch. There's merch.

You can still get 15% off of your order if you get yourself some dice. There's some dice available. There are all kinds of dice, all kinds of gods, all kinds of options, all available down at Orchid8.com or check out the link in the description of this video. Snag it while it's hot. And also our book club will have in the first week of next month, because that's what we decided on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd immediately forgotten about that, so thank you for the reminder.

I shall go and read that book. Yeah. Straight away that went out of my brain. Oh, dear, I'm going to write that down. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle, yo Joe. I don't get it. To a G.I. Joe reference. That's what they say.

Oh, right, right. I was going to say. Sergeant Slaughter says that at the end of every episode, I believe. Sergeant what? Sergeant Slaughter! Oh, I'm... Right, I've got a quote. I've got a quote for you.

Moving right along. Yep, fair. I just want to get away from Slaughter. You're not going to get this, but that's totally fine, because we will explain what's happening once the quote has come out. Come out? That sounds like it's involuntary. Morbid thrashed as the blade tore into his throat and beyond,

separating sinew from bone. They're in here somewhere, the ork murmured. Interesting specimens, your lot. Made killy by being patched together from bits and bobs. A jumble like an old truck. Not like us. Wee's made right, whole. Still, there is something unique in you,

between the squiggles in the blood. Little sparkles. Fascinating. It smiled with half a lip. Now this is much more like it. Don't look like much, just another fleshy sack. But an ear is the thing that makes you interesting. Only bit of you that's complete that can.

contains everything you need to make another one of you, lads. Real interesting. A lot of second do with that. Oh, boy. Yeah, that's, that's a lot of different bips and bibles. Uh, it could be orcs and pain boys. It could be gene seed. It could be, I, mm. I mean, to be fair, can't have a mix of both, because it is about orcs and it is sort of technically about space marines as well. Last year, Denny Flour. Didn't even give Bricky a chance. Crazy. Oh, yeah, you might No, no, it's fine. I agree with D.K. Cool. The vote has been seconded. Let's go.

So, last year, Denny Flowers wrote the brilliant novel Grotsnick Domad Dock, which we covered quite a bit of in the Grotsnick episode. And his latest offering is even more orky. Gazgoal Thraker, Warlord of Warlords, is about the big guy, but also provides a lot of orky goodness by covering virtually every orc clan to some extent. This episode is going to be the story in that book, and Possum cannot stress enough how much fun the book is.

If you can, please read it. It gets the seal of approval from Shai and Possum. That was so terrible. That was awful. I, D.K. agree with me. That was, it was like you were being held at gunpoint to do that. That was so bad for a second. it didn't even register with me what you were doing.

Like you were like, it gets the seal. R, R of approval. And I was like, the fuck was that? Was that a leaky? Was that like a faulty hinge? Was that like, you need some WD40 for like your door? What was it? And I was like, oh, it's, or, or it's, oh, he's this.

Did Possom make you do that? Was that in the script and Pawsom told you to do that? It's in the script. I think Possible thought I was going to gloss over it. But I felt like after the Yoda failure that I did on the other podcast the other day, had to try it and I now regret doing so. There will never be another impression of anything coming out of my mouth ever again. That being said.

I don't mean to bully you, Karioth. I think it's the fact that it was so half-hearted. You needed to put your full chest into that. Yeah, you just say it with your chest. Give me the real like, oh yeah, Possum gives this book the seal of approval. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to try it again. Put your whole chest into it, man.

Give it your, really, from the diaphragm, brother. Give yourself a main, like a sea lion. Yeah. A sea wasn't sea lions the same thing. Anyway, all right, hang on. This is not going to. No, no, no, no, you don't got to do it again. You don't got to do it again.

It's okay. I'm not saying you have to do it again. I'm just saying, like, you know, for a future reference. Okay, if it comes up again, I'll try it again. And I say that, half the time, I'm the old of the script. so you won't know whether it comes up again or not. So, sure, the book has space marines in it too, as we'll find out, but it's done in such a way that doesn't take away from the orkiness.

So right now, we're going to go into it. It's possum story time. That is also in there. Deep in the forests of the planet of Gabal, the knights of Manana are facing total defeat. The treacherous fiefdom of groundsill has pinned them down, and night Captain Braves is bracing for inevitable capitulation. Suddenly, one of his men finds something, a crate full of weapons.

Crude in design, Captain Braves believes this is evidence of divine intervention from the God Emperor himself, and he leads his freshly re-armed men into what was originally going to be their last stand, invigorated with enough firepower to turn the tide of war. As this is happening, two Ork Commandos, named Treg and Dag, are watching in secret, and they're a bit frustrated. Clearly, their boss, Mank, gave his humeys a bunch of weapons. even though they agreed that they'd only supply each side with stick bombs. They argue back and forth about the morals of this proxy war they orchestrated,

and Dag gets a bit antsy. It begins to question if this whole thing is like the real way they should be doing their orkish stuff. Treg tells him to relax and says that they're generals, and that generals are participating, but at a higher level. Dag takes a swig of his beer and tries to rationalise it. They aren't crumping the umies here today, but maybe tomorrow, all the next day.

They've got all the time in the world. Orkestrated, he said. I was thinking the same thing. Nice. Yeah, I was. Orch astrated. Orchastrated. Yeah.

Hell yeah. Yeah. I had to vocalize it. Shai, you've read this book. Does it have prime orks in it or no? Oh, God. Thank God. Okay, we can move on.

Yeah. You don't need to worry about that. It's, fortunately, it's not the. that kind of orc book. And by not that kind, I mean, a good one. Offworld, a great feast is being held by Gazgal Thracker, and the blood axes are making their way to the hall. Captain Shakura is preparing to present Gaz with some intelligence,

which is, of course, a big piece of parchment nobody else can read, while slitter de stabber stands in the back. That's such a good name, by the way. Is that like an orc-commando assassin, slitter the stabber? Yeah, that's exactly it. Of course, of course, nice. Also, love that the intelligence is just a piece of paper, only one guy can actually read. Yeah.

A photo is this I? I don't know. Don't need to worry about anyone else, Nickin it. What's the point? Shackera is a bit nervous about Slitter, and for good reason. Slitter has been planning to kill him for quite some time now, and maybe this feast would be a good place to strike. As they enter the hall, the captain's

Grot points out all the warlord seated around. We've got Braggsmark blueskin of the death schools, Glintief Goldacker from the Bad Moons, Rotgard from the Goths, Ogles Sunripper of the Eagle Sun, evil sons, and Mirak Morksbourne of the Snake Bites. And of course, seated at the far end of the hall in a massive throne is Gaz himself, who is not having a great time. Wait, can you tell me again the name of the Bad Moons one? So, uh, bad, wait, where's bad moons gone? So that's deaf schools. Uh, glintief goldacker.

That sounds about right. Like, what, the D.K., if you remember, bad moons are the ones who love money and teeth and lots of shooting. Yeah, that sounds about right. Glint teeth gold daca, hitting all the marks on this one. All of them. Every box has been checked. I was going to say sun Ripper sounds like, oh, that name goes hard. Yeah, it does. Ooh.

Urgle sunripper. Great name. Mm-hmm. So yeah, Gaz is not having fun at this feast. Sure, a grot named grunty accidentally brought a drink tray over to him in Grotsnik,

and Gaz was slightly amused by that, requesting that the grot to stay with him. But the drinks suck, the food sucks, and he hates the atmosphere. He just wants to fight, but he is so far away from a good scrap. He stands up and challenges

anyone to fight him and the hall is silent. He sighs and orders the tributes to come out. Rotgard, who is wearing essentially a Gaz cosplay, presents Gazx with a pile of weapons and bones. Sunripper gives him a piece of metal that phases in and out of sight. Braggsmark gives a pile of weapons. Mirag gives him a gigantic heart which Gaz eats. And Glintief says he has a huge armada of battlewagons and death copters, but it says that the armada is so big that he couldn't unload it from his ship. Yeah, very on brand there, lovely. Finally, Captain Shaccar of the Blood Axis goes up with a prize that he believes is better than any of the other ones,

a planet called Gabel, or Gabal, using a really janky projector. He explains to Gaz that he turned the planet tactically, with Kay's replacing the seas, into a testing ground where he has convinced the humans that the orcs are evil forest spirits that need to be appeased, and has forced them to pay tribute in the form of manufacturing supplies for them. All the while, he keeps them from advancing technologically by keeping them in a perpetual proxy war. It is in every way a self-sustaining orc training world where the orcs are fully in charge in more ways than one. This guy's a genius, by the way.

Wow. That is an awful lot for an orc to, I hate to use it again, orchestrate. that's that's crazy that actually doesn't seem too out of the realm though like he's a blood axe so give me wrong but like yeah I doubt he's using the words

proxy war or anything like that I'm pretty sure he's just like yeah them gets keep giving us stuff and that kind of shit you know and like and they keep fighting each other so they never get too big so kind of does but he doesn't understand half of the Oh God, I love the orcs. I love him.

Everybody does. He expects Gaz to be impressed, but he's not. He says that Shakaru is having orcs on the planet hide instead of crump in the humeys and says that he's just sitting around and letting humeys thrive. Orks do not play war. They fight in it. He then says if Shakur likes sitting so much, then how about you have a nice chair? After ripping his throne out and crushing the ork under it,

He asks the dying captain if it's elaborate enough for him. Yeesh. Also, you said thrown, right? Not throat? Throne. Yeah, he stands up, picks his own throne up, and then just smashes the other hawk with the seat. Yeah, I guess no matter which way I heard that, it's really bad for him.

So, yeah, fair. Jeez. A giant throne made of pure concrete to support his weight. Yep, and that is used to basically bludgeon someone to death. The grunt, gruntie, survives this, and Rotgard claims him as his own. Now, we're going back to the planet of Gabal, which is truly a feudal world, and Magistrate Unzorend was the supposed leader of a good portion of it, but there are many other fiefdoms that may exceed it in size.

It was their belief that the world was once home of the knights of Gabal, and statues lined the courtyards of their own. advanced armour and imposing stature. Legend states that the knights will at some point return, and utilising crude machinery, they listen to the stars in the hopes that this day will come, believing that they will bring the glory of the god emperor of the stars back to Gabal. Maybe this will save them from the urks in the dark forests. On this day, the magistrate receives word that there's been something received from the stars, stating that the true knights are returning to the planet.

While prepping for their arrival, he is met by Chancellor Jazar, who is clad in ceremonial ropes. They're busy translating the words from the stars, but they are not accustomed to ascended Gothic. She believes that they are to descend upon a hawk of thunder, and sure enough, one of those terrible hawks descends from the sky. As it lands and crushes the ornamental gardens, large knights stepped down from the platform, and they remind the magistrate and the chancellor of another myth, a myth about the dark knights who were corrupted and intent solely on bloodshed that only the Knights of Gubal could hold at bay. The Knights of Gubal, according to this myth, still live on this world,

but they are resting under the Broken Fang Mountain, which smoke emanates from as if it's a volcano. This is a very sacred place for the locals, and resting atop of it is the Shrine of Light. I love the world building for this place, by the way. The whole like abandoned or forgotten by the Imperium side of like feudal worlds is very fun. Right. But like I'm assuming this throne of light is their fortress monastery and stuff like that.

Well, there's a big reveal about the mountain a bit later on that kind of explains. Yeah, I was going to say there's no way it's that easy, right? Where they just, oh yeah, yep, the Knights of Gabald. They're right under there. Go get him. They wake up. Oh, big stretch had a good nap. But anyway, go on.

It's, yeah, there's some sinister stuff going on. With all this being said, sure, the armour of these knights who just landed is similar in style and structure to the Knights of Gubal, but there's a big difference. The Knights of Gubal's armour was red, while the knights who stood here were wearing armour as black as sin with heraldry of a black cross on a white field. It's the black Templars, and they are disgusted by the state of this world. Oh, of all. the people you could get. Oh. That just flat out sucks for these people.

That's awful. If I may, who wrote this book again? So this one is Denny Flowers. Denny Flowers, okay. That's unfortunate. For the people on, oh boy. Are you immediately thinking that things may not go well for the people of this world? now that their saviors in inverted commas have shown.

I'm thinking it, I'm saying it. It's, oh, it's, oh, foreshadowing is a literary tool. You see, the Black Templars knew the Knights of Gabal. They were a Blood Angel successor chapter that they swore oaths of camaraderie to, but there hasn't been word from the knights in a long time. Marshall Ardenauer is out here to check in on the planet with initiate gawain and chaplain cal what is happening

initiate gawin and chaplain callus Jesus it's 40k names man it'd just be it be like that sometimes my mouth just stopped working for those yeah it's not even the worst ones we've had and adenauer doesn't want to be out here he has had visions of the imperial

being choked by dark clouds and he is eager to fight on armageddon he wishes to take this mystical weapon called Black Blade sitting on the ship and run the Great Beast of Armageddon through with it. Before arriving, they saw the orc presence on this planet and the Marshal determined that if the planet can't defeat the orcs themselves, they, you know, don't see a need to help. Stepping down from the Thunderhawk, he sees the trees and flowers

and views it as stagnation. Unzorund attempts to ask him if they are knights and the Marshal tells him to be silent before asking if he's in charge. He explains the fiefdoms and explains the family lineage. The Templar tells him it doesn't matter who his family is, even if they gathered dung. He demands to know the decree by which he was made leader, and the Chancellor interjects and says it was by the God Emperor and that they follow his tenets. The Marshal confirms they are not the Knights of Gabal, but they were allies and served the same masters,

and the magistrate says it's been centuries since they've been seen, and many believe they're a myth. The Marshal declares that Gabal is now under the stewardship of the Black Templars, and that the stagnation is about. to change. Yeah, I love that about org books because they really like taking the piss out of the Imperials whenever you read an orc book. Yeah, they really just like to show you

how backwards they can be. And just hearing this planet is now under the stewardship of the Black Templars makes me go like, oh. Yeah. It's not good. Well, the magistrate watches in terror as the fruit trees and flowers in the courtyard are replaced with battlements, and before long, he learns what their stewardship actually means.

Now, back with the orcs, the remaining blood axes argue, who is the rightful leader now that their boss was promoted to the position of carpet. Someone needs to represent them at the council of the while coming up. That was good, possum. I like that. That was good, boss. Yeah, I like that. Being promoted to carpet. Sorry, go ahead. But the only thing that they can agree on is that Slitter is a risk to all of them. Slitter hides in a cart of orc bodies hoping to sneak into the council meeting,

but is instead brought to a room where Grotsnick is doing some surgery. And by that, I mean he's singing and dancing while stitching bodies together. Oh, Grotsnick, you scamp. Grotsnick sees Slitter and hovers him some advice. He could tell he wanted to assassinate his boss, and he says that Slitter has two choices now, either be a follower or be the boss. He tells him to get to the meeting, but offers one little tip. Don't blink in front of Gaz, and don't show weakness. All the warlords enter the chambers, some more ridiculously than others, and they all take their seat, including Gaz.

As Gaz is about to talk, he notices someone sitting in the dark in a far corner. He asks who it is, and the figure says, I is slitter to stabber, warlord of the blood axes. Gazz approaches him and asks if he was summoned and Slitter says he wanted to sneak in to show his worth He gives Slitter a seat and calls him the Shadow Boss And warns that he has to prove himself He then proceeds to scream with the warlords Calling them all lazy

Shadow Boss is pretty cool name though I mean hey It is that's I mean that's got to be one of the best Like just names for an orc warlord so far Yeah I mean, that's the name that like you actually can get outside of the orcs. The shadow boss works in like all kinds of ways.

Yeah. Now, Gaz says that Shakra was an orc with vision, but he'd failed. He said that the warlords need to prove themselves. They need to conquer Kabbal entirely. And each orc has a task. Rotgard must crump the biggest enemy on the planet. Ergel must rush around the planet until he can find something of worth. Glintief will assault with his battlewagons

and Bragg's mark must bring him trophies better than battered guns. As for Slitter, he needs to keep his blood axes in line as they'll likely hate that he is their new boss. Back on the planet, the magistrate is told the truth of the history of the world and learns that his knights are being recruited into the Templars crusade. The marshal confronts him and asks him about the urks. The magistrate explains that they're forest spirits that need to be appeased and the marshal is, funnily enough, absolutely disgusted.

Yeah, I bet he is. Oh, boy, when they find out. The marshal explains what they truly are. Zenos filth and blames the magistrate for letting them fester. He does not offer forgiveness to the magistrate, only vengeance. He orders the Inferno squad to take care of the dark forests while smiling. Yeah. Actually, I thought that was going to go a lot worse for the humans on the planet that have been worshipping pseudo-orcs.

Or actually, I guess they are just org-orcs. There's nothing pseudo about it. I thought they were like, yeah, he's going to get the flamer. And, you know, goodbye, humans. The magistrate is still alive is an exercise and self-restraint from the martialist. A lot better than what I thought it was going to be. Anyway, you got a quote for me? I do.

It's a chunky one. Magistrate Unzarin considered the black Templar's designation apt. Not only did they possess piety boarding on madness, but darkness followed wherever they went. Literally, how a handful of warriors had incinerated an ancient force and a single knight was quite beyond him. But they had burned it all as well as crops and homesteads, leaving the sky reed and smoke in the land in ruins. The Templars were in no danger. armor-proof against fire, helm shielding them from choking fumes. Others were less fortunate, particularly those farmers whose lands bordered the forest. Casualties appeared lower than he'd feared,

for the inferno was difficult to miss. But harvest had been eradicated, precious resources consumed. It would be a bitter winter at this rate, though the surf seemed more concerned by the loss of the irk tithe. Just burns the whole damn forest. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, were you living in this forest and depending on the crop lands? Whoops! I just, you see all of that there from here to the horizon, I would like that on fire.

Go. Just, holy shit. And you know that not one of them is like one people are. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's what the black templars are concerned with, right? I don't think it crossed their mind for a second.

He literally says, Brother, there are orcs in that forest, burn it. The orcs, no, forest. I mean, it's direct. Mm-hmm. Slash and burn, you know. Two Bloodax Commandos are sitting in the forest, and they're like, wow, the sun is really bright today

before one of them is shot. Wow. Wow. All right. The wound is bigger than anything the umis on this world can produce and before they can react properly they're engulfed in flames The last thing they hear is a space marine saying Xenos filth Before the other one's eyes boil from his skull

The other or in the forest learn the truth of what's happening And they begin to panic Justified totally justified Yeah agreed justified At this point Slitter's self-imposed promotion is going a bit rough as the rest of his blood axes are trying to kill him. But being a good blood axe himself, he's able to stay one step ahead.

He figured out that a door was rigged with explosives by Lieutenant Buzzcat, and instead of going through it personally, he tricked the warlord of the Goths to go through it instead. His massive suit of armour protected him, but certainly didn't protect the blood axe who stood on the other side. Slitter also attempts to take control of the narrative by planting a seed into the mind of the other wall, that he might have plans to take out Gaz himself. You see, Gabal isn't just a training world for the orcs. It's also a well-fortified blood-axes trap. Before going up in rank, Slitter had an objective that was his and his alone on the world.

Bring the mountain down on someone. The broken fang is exceptionally well fortified due to the shrine there, but as far as he knew, it was also rigged entirely with explosives that he could set off and literally crush someone under the weight of the mountain. It was, of course, selected because of the smoke. Mountains with smoke means they're prone to blowing up. So why not help it out a bit? Flawless.

No, perfect. I mean, how could you imagine anything but? Originally, this was going to be something he would do in his boss before his boss was promoted to pancake. Now that he's in charge of the blood axes, he had an idea on how he could spring his trap, and it involved coaxing Gaz to go to the mountain. He tried many times to convince Gaz of the importance of the mountain due to the amount of Yumi's there, but Gaz didn't seem to interest it at first. But he remained aware of it.

He does acknowledge something else about Slitter, though. Instead of some bionic eye, Slitter has an eye patch. He mocks him and says he needs something better, but Slitter says that his eye patch is fine for reasons that will become clear. Also, it should be noted that Slitter wants to call the world Scrognat, but Gaz says that the humis called it Gabal, so they need to call it that, because the Umi still rule it. Unknown to pretty much everyone except the space marines, the mountain isn't actually a volcano. It's a geothermal regulator that provides power to the planet. So, realistically, an explosion here would be catastrophic. Oh, yeah, that would be like,

more or less exterminatus just, you know, without... Yeah, I was about to say, is that like a regulator that regulates the whole thing, as in like it blows the planet up? I mean, geothermal regulator sounds really, really important, even if it's not that bad. It sounds like we could do this not. Giant mountain that regulates the power of planet.

Sounds like it explodes by by planet. That's what I assume. Just, you know, I like to, I like to be certain. Yeah. So not quite, but it's... Okay, half the planet. My bad. It's still pretty bad.

Still pretty rough if it blows up. So DeKilrecker is now approaching Gabal and blasts past the Templar ship, the Damocles, as if it was standing still. The wire energy radiating from the Ork Fleet caused their navigators head to explode, and the impact of the ship on the Damocles causes it to not only become derelict and powerless, but also wipes out most of the human crew. What an entrance, God damn. In the midst of the madness,

Initiate Gowan grabs the black sword and makes his way to the planet. Planet side, a knight and his squire, practice in a shine and have no idea what's happening. The shrine fills with an emerald light and Gass himself emerges and moves a statue of a knight of Gubal as if it's a Lego mini-fig. He looks at the knight and squire and says,

You, humans. Where are your arms? armies. Where are you ard, boys? Before the knight rushes him with his sword. Gaz slams his fist down, turning the knight to mist, saying, weak, before asking the squire if he wants to live. The squire, grits, nods his head, and Gazte tells him to go to the place with the largest army and tell them that they face Gazgole. Wow. Pounds him into dust, eh? All right. Sick. I mean, he knows how to make an entrance. You can't say that Gascold doesn't know how to make his presence known.

Mm-hmm. Can't say, yeah. Okay. The Templars have been taken out the planet's orcs left and right, leaving their heads on spikes, but none of the Templars had even the slightest clue that something as big as Gaz was on the planet. A Templar Castellan encounters a gigantic orc

and attempts to attack it with his relic axe, only for it to shatter on its back. Gaz turns around and defeats the Templar, leaving him to be vivisected by Groscted by Grotsnick. He takes his gene seed and tells him that it will serve a purpose at some point. The Marshal at this point is learning just how far this world has fallen

from its former positioning as a recruitment world, as made evident when he goes to a village which had been forging weapons and ammo as tributes to the urges. I've got this for you, Bricky, a bit of a longer one. Alright. Adonair,

a denair, whatever. Noted, turning to the kneeling humans. Weapons of war, forced by human hands and delivered to Zeno's scum. Do you have anything to say before I pass judgment? The praying figure clenched her beads tighter, her murmurings growing faster. He suspected she understood and almost felt pity. The other dared to meet his gaze, tears in the man's eyes. Please, Lord, I know nothing of this. We make the tubes because we always have. It is what my father did. What? For what purpose? Because we have to. It keeps us safe from the forest.

from the Adonor's blade took the man's head His body slumping sideways Besides him The woman flinched But she maintained her prayers Only falling silent

When... How's his name said Kirov? I went for Adonauer At an hour? That sounds right, yeah At an hour Only falling silent When Adonauer reached out

gently lifting her chin until their gazes met Admittedly he was concealed by his helm Any last words Or sorry Any last words he She gave the slightest shake of her head, kissing the beads once before placing them on the ground before her.

Then she lowered her eyes. His blade struck. I kind of thought for a half second he was going to let her live. Yeah. I mean, yeah. And then I remembered he's the Black Templar. Yeah, foolish me. Golly.

Yeah, for a second, I was like, oh, he's going to spare her because she's just praying. And they didn't know any better. Nope. You've been tainted by the zine. knows, you must die. It's so, like, I mean, obviously, it's 40K, it's the Imperium. It is unfathomably harsh. They don't even know what they're doing, and it's a generational task for which they have

no context whatsoever because the Imperium has basically forgotten this place exists. The guy is like, we made the tubes because they all, because we always have. The tubes? He doesn't even know what it is. I agree with you. But again, it's the black Templar. They don't care if you were ignorant to it. All they know is you have been aainted by the Xenos.

Sorry, your head's got to go. Actually finds medieval peasants making things they don't understand. And then they're like, you have committed the ultimate crime. They got ahead of themselves. Some might say extenuating circumstances. I say burn them alive. That's how this works. Okay, Marshall, sure. As he does this, he gets a broken Vox call that says Gazka before cutting off. Realising that the great beast is here, he orders the Templars to immediately reconvene and prepare for redeployment. I love that it's forced him to stop executing medieval peasants because now he's actually got something that he really needs to kill. Don't go anywhere. I'll get back to you guys later. Yeah, you will stay kneeling and I'll know if you move.

Slitter is watching the movement of the orcs and sees that Gaz is in fact making his way to the mountain. And he meets with Glintief Goldacker. He explains to Goldacker his plan about taking out Gaz, but says there's a reason why he's talking to him about it. On Glintief's warcopter de Buzzard, Slitter has heard rumors that he has a powerful weapon. The Mega Smasher. Nice. That's such a good name. Something that is so powerful that it can punch a hole through a planet.

Slitter doesn't believe it can actually do that, but he thinks that it could be strong enough to be useful in case the mountain explosion doesn't fully take gas out. Glintief is interested in this offer and decides to hear him out, but they both get a bit concerned when they realize what kind of space marines are on the planet. So another quote for you here, D.K. Oh, God, yeah, the war copter.

It's so good. It's so good. Ah, so the quote. Not just odd boys, Dag side. Worst kind. Cross gates. Cross gates? Yep, worst ones.

See the symbol? Dag said pointing to the armor where two black lines intersected on a white space. That's their banner symbol called a cross. All right, so why is they so bad? Boring. They fought like goffs look like them, too. Angry. Fick. They just play through a cunning trap without even taking the time to appreciate it. Just run it just screaming and hitch over and over. And you know what? I think that's overrated. Well, it's war. It's got to be some hitting. Sure. But I like it when I do the hidden. Plus two, D.K. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Two things. Exceptional orc voice. work and also

I love how cultured these orcs are there's cross gates I just hit people it's boring I love that like yeah they're angry and stupid they fight like

goffs is such a great critique they just keep yelling what a bunch of boring assholes yeah just so they fight like the fucking goffs bunch of loud angry

ugly bitch. They keep screaming and shouting at you. Oh, it's so good. However, there is a bit of an issue when it comes to the bombs and explosives that were supposed to be deployed in the mountain. Slitter arrives to the fortress that was allegedly crafting all the rocket batteries, shooter encampments, commando squads, and most importantly, grenades and bombs. It turns out the size and shape of a flash bomb is the same size and shape as a can of beer. And instead of being productive, the orcs here have just been manufacturing booze

and have been in a state of perpetual drunkenness for God knows how long. Ooh. What an image. All right, you lot, I'm going to leave you here. You need to make all the explosives you can with this blueprint. Gets back, all of them wasted.

Hands everywhere. I imagine half the camp's on fire. Great. Lovely orc stuff. Yeah. Like Shai said, too, the Black Templar are now executing medieval peasants for helping orcs make beer. Oh.

You're misunderstanding, D.K., it's the helping orcs problem that we're dealing with. True. It's not necessarily the beer. It doesn't matter if it's beer or armaments or whatever. It's they help the orks. Yeah. So funny. So it turns out the mountain is not rigged with explosives like he initially thought.

Knowing that they goofed, most of the Bloodaxe commandos had escaped and hid, but Splitter has means of figuring it out where they are. He presses a button and one of the commandos' heads explodes. Apparently, bombs had been placed in their heads in case any of them got ideas, and now he can use the signal to track down the others. but most importantly he needs to look out for the lookout grot named Clinnon

apparently it was his fault that they made beer instead of bombs I'm sorry Caesar's Legion looking ass they got like bomb collars or whatever on where this where this come from it's like the opening of the bad suicide squad movie where he's just like

beep blows one up so goofy sounds more like Kingsman where they're they get him implanted inside their head, right? Not necessarily a collar, but like a fucking spectacular. The first thing I thought of was the damn Caesar's Legion, so. That's fair. That's, yeah, yeah, it's a good one.

You've got to make sure your boys aren't going to pull a fast one and try and do you in. You've got to get in there first, by putting explosives in their heads. It's the only way to be safe when you were a blood axe. As mentioned before, Initiate Gowan had escaped the Damocles with the black sword and is making his way to the shrine on the planet, but he is Gowin no more. Weielding the blade, he is the emperor's champion, and he hurtles down onto the mountain like a rocket. This is the place where they make a last chance stand against the Beast of Armageddon, as it was seen in their visions. On the surface,

the extent of the orc invasion is known, as the seemingly weaker orcs on the planets have begun to fade, and more well-armed orcs march through the swamps. The gate on the shrine buckles as something gigantic hits it. As the chains give way on the fourth blow, Gaz stands looking at the Empress champion. Less than impressed, he says, this is it then? Was a real slog getting up here? You the boss? The champion responds that he is not the boss. He is the blade, though. Gaz says that he should have his own blade and asks if he has a name. The champion says he is the Empress champion and Gaz rattles off his own name. Unexpectedly, the champion flings himself at Gaz aggressively and Gaz even admits that he's tougher than he looks.

They exchange blows until a light engulfs the mountain. The champion views this as the emperor's light, while the orcs on the battlefield below see it merely as flames. In the corridors of the castle, Magistrate Unzorend rushes to speak to a leading templar about the darkening clouds and the fire on the mountain. He enters the chaplain, sees one sitting with Chancellor Jazar. This one sits without a helmet on, and it strikes the magistrate with fear. The chapel is surrounded by statues of the Emperor's nine archangels, and even the damaged one of Sanguinius has some degree of beauty.

The helmetless Templar has none of that beauty. His features are wrong. It's human, but vaguely. The skin on its head looks like leather that is too tight, stretched over a skull that is too big, and with eyes of smouldering fury instead of gentleness. The Templar snarls and ignores the concerns of the magistrate before leaving. All they can do is have faith. even though the snarling creatures beneath these masks are reminiscent of the dark knights of legend. I like how the Black Templars have shown up. Ostensibly, they are attempting to fight off a Zenos invasion, whilst also, you know, doing a bit of peasant murdering at the same time. And all the people in Josh can think is,

this lot really do look like they are essentially chaos. Like, that's their overriding. Anytime they interact with them, the way their arm is painted, the way they behave. it's like we've heard about all this betrayal shit and you lot seem right on the edge of that all the time. I mean the way they describe them is like oh they might as well be chaos.

I mean they don't have the they don't have the classic space marine propagandized look or they don't look like Titus and friends they look horrendously like most space marines do where their face is a nodded web of chelotting scar tissue and an overly hulked out ridiculousness.

Yep. Yep. Properly scary if you're just a random idiot who doesn't actually know what any of this stuff is supposed to be in the first place. Back on the mountain, the warlords look upon the crater and cooling magma and try to make out if Gaz is dead. There's no body, only a crater full of ash. They begin to sense it Gass was torn asunder along with the mountain itself

Glinteeve knows that Slitter is going to try and take the credit for this but how dare he take the credit for his kill it wasn't the bombs that blew up the mountain no it was the mega smasher it was as powerful as he hoped it would be but it knocked his copter aside and needs to recharge before he can claim victory it needs to get back online

as they assess the crater the pain wagon peels around the corner and Grotsnick steps out, apologising for the delay and asks where the body is. The warlords look at the crater and Grotsnick says, going to be honest, dear, this looks serious. No heartbeat. Surgery is going to be a challenge. Surgery?

What, he's dead? Grotsnick says, I've bought him Brack from Woos. First time he was nothing, but now he's too big to die. He says that de Green has him and he can't be unmade. Amazingly ominous. he has brought him back from worse I mean he was just a fucking head one time right so oh or or just a body I guess either both works

well yeah yeah either or sure sure what's that image is it Goku or whatever it's like laying in the fetal position in the big crater oh no no that's yomcha okay whatever he's wearing the same outfit so like I understand why you would think it was Goku I've also seen like no dragon ball z yeah that's fair but like I'm just imagining that

kind of crater, but instead, just like a big green smear. And docks stick is like, yeah, I can fix that. Just a big green shit stand across a planetary crater. Yeah, I got tools for that. So what? Is he like, is he like freaking Angron or something where like Gork and Mork are just like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. He's coming back right.

Gascold just does what he likes at this point. effectively does whatever he wants. It's all good. There's always Gaskill. He's too big to die. He's too big to die. He says that DeGrean has him, that he can't be unmade. So as he says this, his wagon starts to shake and roar.

Something in there that had a name in the Grotsnick book isn't having a great time, and Grotsnick realizes that bringing whatever it is to a place where DeGrein is leaking everywhere was a bad call. Grotsnick leaves and tells everyone to figure their shit out. Believe it or not, they don't. Braggsmark claims looting rights on the site of Gaz's explosion in an attempt to find his armour and a bit of infighting begins. But not with all of them, some are just off doing their own thing. Ergole takes his biker boys and runs a mock with some of the others,

but somehow there's something that feels a bit hollow. While this is happening, Chancellor Jazar descends beneath the chapel and performs a blood ritual. The ritual opens an old console that she had used in the past to speak to the true rulers of this world, the undergods. They are the shadow leaders who have controlled the order of the planet for generations, and she had communed with them in the past. Far away, as Slitter is interrogating another blood axe, a console lights up, and on the other end is at Yumi. Slitter asks who it is, and Chancellor Jazar confirms her name. He doesn't understand the title and asks if it's better than Sargent. That's great

She asks to call upon the patch that was struck But the one that was struck with the other voice And when asked which voice she's talking about She says Supreme God Lord Kilnum the Crumpin As side notes Each time Slitter yells at her in a confused way She responds with a chance of

Yes boss, sorry boss Is this Wait one more time The Name of the Blood Axe So, Supreme Lord Clinton the crumpin

God damn it Supreme God Lord Sorry, sorry You would think they would start running out of names and yet they just tickle me each time Well, funnily enough

That name has shown up One time before That's the grot That was supposed to be Making the bombs So Of course She's been talking to a grot this whole time we were calling him Supreme God Lord.

Oh, no. What a silly book. So Slitter asks what their pact was, and she confirms that she brewed sacred liquids in exchange for teeth. Slitter says that Clenon got crummed and that he is the shadow boss now, and that he almost crumped the God Emperor. She says that she needs help with the Black Templars, and Slitter clarifies, Templars, you mean a cross-gits, real angry all the time.

That's just the Templar now. Yeah, they've got a proper reputation among orcs as just being angry and stupid all the time. It's so good. She confirms, and he says that he has a plan and will need her help for it. The Marshal sees a beast emerging from the trees that is utterly gigantic. Its coloration is unmistakable.

It's Gaz, totally not Rockguard, who has no idea why he's marching other than the fact he needs to crump something. The beast has plagued his dreams for so long, there is no mistake. With a scream of Suffer not the Xenos to live, he rushes the beast and duels him. The back and forth knocks the marshal down a few times, but his determination is unbreakable. He swings up with his sword and tears the jaw off of the beast. Light burns out in its eye, and he stands with his oath fulfilled. Gaskell has fallen.

Let us build him a suitable pyre from the corpses of the Xenos filth. This victory was a hollow one, though, as they had no real exit strategy. The Damocles was severely damaged, and they had suffered about 30% casualties. But hey, Gaz was just killed, so it's a great victory. To which we get the actual, you know, Apiric victory is still a victory, I suppose. but one thing is missing. The Black Sword is still somewhere in the ruins of that mountain, and they need to reclaim it. But not all the fighting goes well for the Black Templars.

Some became a bit too confident and decided to operate without their helmets on. So let's see how that played out. Here you go, Ricky. All right, something struck their line. High caliber rounds. Insufficient to pierce armor, but enough to knock two of the warriors off their feet. They surged upright, but it was still an igno- Oh my goodness, I'm sorry.

Ignominy. Ignominy, yes, no. He was, uh, are, to be surprised. Uh, Tel Avir, do we have eyes on? But Tel Avir did not rise. He had not yet replaced his helm after performing the ritual of cerebral maceration. And there was nothing left of his head but blood and bone shards. The orc book playing fun at the.

Space Marines not wearing a helmet because their like main character syndrome is hysterical. Just love it. Love it. Just love it. Oh, hell yeah, dude. Oh, excellent. Excellent work. 10 out of 10.

This book is 10 out of 10 just for that. Yeah, 100%. So Bragg's mark is still digging in the crater and Glintief sees the Templars March. and thinks that this is a golden opportunity. Not only can he kill the cross-gits, but he can also kill the treacherous death school too. He orders his crew to speed up their repairs on the war copter so he can intercept them. Bragg's Mark's digging has resulted in him finding something strange. It's a gigantic sphere of fused rock, likely made during the collapse of the mountain. He shoots it with his boom cannon and it cracks it slightly, and the crack radiates

green. Seemingly, out of nowhere, the snake bites, led by Mirak, burst out of the walls and attack him. They had been digging this whole time to pull a sneak attack on him, and now was the time to strike. Slitter watches onwards and wishes he had a long shooter to take one or more of them out, but something happens during the fighting that changes the tide violently. The sphere cracks open more, and an iron claw emerges from it like an egg. Gaskell stands there, or whatever's left him, still gigantic, still mighty, but with armour that is barely held together. You cannot kill this guy, it is impossible. Well, yeah.

Speaking of barely held together, the rule of the magistrate is collapsing around him. Iconography is being torn down, the mysticism of their feudal past is being replaced with machinery and imperial iconography. Jazar informs the magistrate that once the marshal returns from his battle, that he will be tried for heresy. Heresy of preaching a false doctrine and heresy for using weapons made by orcs. The myths of this world were a lie. The knights of Gabal weren't sleeping. They were dead. Jazar leaves him alone and the magistrate sneaks to a sidewall.

A decoy, a secret passage from which he can escape unnoticed to the depths of the world. Gaz stands before Braggsmark and Mirak and says, Did you do this? Did you hit me? And Braggsmark remarks that they're just having a scrap. As Gaz turns, Braggsmark shoots him in the back with a boom cannon. As he attempts to shoot again, Gaz flings the body of a snake bite into the oncoming shot, causing it to rain blood everywhere.

Sick. Gazz, short. Gass fires Mork's roar at the treacherous orc, but it's mangled. Braggsmark says that that's some shoddy work and that he'll speak to his mecks for him before Gaz grabs him. He says that Bragg's Mark took his shot and that he hopes it was worth it before squeezing him so hard that his eyes burst. Jesus Christ. Use them like a stress toy.

Yep, yep. Really, really clamping down there. Oh, so Shai says the boom cannon is a stolen tow tank rail cannon and Gaz just tanks it. Wait, Gaz took a rail cannon shot to the back and was just like, Oh, it's a little bit. Really? It's all right. He rolled a four up.

He got the other save. Oh, okay. All right. Cool. That's so funny. That's crazy. He definitely got them, that custom orc force field. Spelt with a K, of course.

Oh, for sure. God. I want to see that conversion as well, by the way. I want to see a tank rail cannon just being held by an oak, please. Someone's got what I've done it. Oh yeah. Glintyth couldn't believe what he saw with his far goggles. Gaz was standing and somehow it was Slitter's fault for making his mega-smasher not work as hard as it could.

He yelled at his boys to prime the smasher and flying close to Gaz. As he approaches, he bellows through his vox. Oi, listen up. I is warlord Glintief Goldacker. I tore open the sky. I shattered the mountain. I rule this world. What do you reckon, oh mighty Gasgul?

I've already humbled you, your guns busted, your arm is falling apart, bend your knee and I might let you live. Gaz responds with, Got you a present, catch, before chucking Bragg's head so hard at debuzzard that it causes it to crash. Wow! Jesus!

Gaz is him. He is him. Yeah. To be fair, the war copter was already ropy before. this. They did have to like repair it and stuff. So, you know, I'm willing to give a bit of grace, but you've got to throw an orc's head pretty goddamn hard to knock an aircraft out of the sky here. Have you seen Gaz lately? Fair.

Gaz walks up to the wreckage and says, you think you're a big orca? Looks like you've got nothing. Glintief shoots him as much as he can, knocking the rest of Gaz's armor off and weakening him, but it's not enough. He takes him. tears glinty from his armor and squeezes his neck until his head explodes. We've definitely. See it to be his favorite move. Like, the man's got some stress.

He's using it. He's like, oh, I need my new stress bond. And he's crazy. He's got a really big, a really big claw. What else do you want from him,

you know? I don't know, you could just, you know, make a fist and just pound him into the dirt and make a, promote him to pancake. Um, you know, punch them. I don't know.

Rip their legs off? I don't know. But he keeps going for the stress ball mechanics. He just really likes squeezing. I guess so, yeah. In the midst of the carnage, Marshal Adonau reaches the mountain to retrieve the sword and seize the Beymouth of an orc.

But, like, he'd already killed Gaz as far as he was concerned. They could ignore this guy. The marshal yells at him to relinquish the blade. or face death. And Gaz responds with, You want this? It's mine now. Got to take it from me. The Marshal yells that he has slain many of his kind on this world and that he fought on Armageddon. Gas says, good war. Old baili knew how to fight. Don't see his like much to no more. The marshal yells that he slew Gasgull, and Gaz responds by saying that only one

of his kind ever got close to slaying him, one of the pups that call themselves wolves. and the only reason why he got close is because he let him. The marshal then notices the blazing eye of Gaz and realizes he was mistaken. He didn't kill Gaz. Gaz stands before him and with a power fist to the face, their duel begins. Hell yeah.

And yeah, Shai says that the Black Sword, it's literally sticking out of Gaz's body. So you've got to get in close to get that back. It's right in there. Good luck. I know. I love the, it kind of reminds me. What's that one mini, the Black Templar mini, where he's like stabbing the orc with the sword? Imagining like that's the prelude, even though it's not get.

Yeah, obviously it's not gas on the ground, but imagine that's the prelude and that's the sword that's still stuck in. Yeah. More or less, I mean. God, I bloody love this book. The two exchange blows, the Marshall yelling that gases, a blight on the galaxy while Gaz yells that he probably spared him on Armageddon to let him grow into something more worthy.

Oh, shit. Damn. Nothing like a shit-talking your opponent when you've already taken a sword, several shots, one from a railgun and a planet-cracking weapon to the face. And you're still like, I mean, I had to wait. I made you who you are.

Crazy. As far as Gazz was concerned, he had made the Marshal who he was, made him angry and strong, and now he was going to break him. Now, do you remember in the War of the Beast episode, where we thought for a brief second that the beast knocked Colin's arm off before stomping him when actually it was the beast knocking his armour off? Remember that misconception that we had for a moment? I have dematerialized all thoughts of War of the Beast from my brain.

Fair. I remember parts of it. The one part I remember is just that Van der Rich was the coolest dude. Also fair. Well, Possum is keen to point out that they are not joking with the following. And with a strike so aggressive that it knocks the marshal's arm off, he pins the marshal down with his boot. But Gaz is cool.

He doesn't say I am slaughter. He just crushes him to death. Oh. All right. Well, I guess he's Marshall over the place now. Kills D.K., kills D.K. with death. Kills D.K. with hatred. Kills D.K.

Oh, R.I.P. Marshall. You were awful. RIP, Marshall. You were a fucking asshole, man. Yeah, fuck him anyway. Least or most tolerant Black Templar. So after dealing the final blow, Slitter jumps from the shadows onto Gaz's back and he begins to stab him. Multiple stabs in the shoulder making his way up to Gaz's eyes.

Gaz manages to grab him and mocks him for trying to use stabbers, but Slitter says that he has to work with what he's got. Slitter pulls out a transceiver from his great coat and says that it has buttons that help to level the mountain that almost killed Gaz. And Gaz says, you're trying to claim credit for trying to crump me. Slitter says, not crump, assassinate. Gaz says that he sees the little blood axe now,

and Slitter says, not for long, before ripping his eye patch off, revealing a flashball. No shit! Wait, a flash bomb is like a flashbang, right? Like a concussed grenades. That's crazy. What a Chad. I can see you now.

Not for long. Explo-thage thing fast. Chuckled nuts. Okay, I love him. He's the best. Yeah, I'm almost, I'm almost disappointed that I didn't get a chance to listen slash read this book first before this episode.

This is actually, this is actually fantastic. It really is. He detonates the flash bomb, causing Gaz to drop him. Slitter manages to take advantage of the stunned gas by shoving stick bombs into an open wound and stabbing his joints before picking up the black sword and stabbing Gaz in the back. It bites deep, causing Gaz to fall.

God damn. Holy shit. Yeah. It's ridiculous. Slitter proclaims victory, walking round and inflicting more wounds into him. But as Grotsnick has said before, Gaz is not what he used to be. Gaz begins to stand, and as he does, the blades begin to push outward from, his wounds as his cuts heal.

Slitter yells, no, I won, I beat you, before Gaz says, you were doing good, shouldn't have got close. That was a mistake. Before punching Slitter so hard it feels like his front has been pushed through his back and then head busing him. Oh, man, that sucks. That sucks. That sucks for our boy.

I was about to say, yeah, he does have, he does have that meme where he's like constantly pulling out more knives. Like, where did he get this from? You don't want to know. You don't want to know. So, Gaz sniffs the fallen slitter, and there's no denying his strength. He howlsing victory, causing the rest of the orcs to do the same. Grotsnick joins Gaz and congratulates him on another victory.

He asks if Gaz needs patching up, and Gaz says no. After reminding Gaz that most of his skin has been burnt off, Gaz says, fine, re-skin me. What? Look, he hasn't got any skin. He needs to be re-skinned. It's that simple. I can't even imagine what an orc that has no skin looks like.

Like, is he just this big, mussely-looking bloody orc that's just like, oh, I guess you can put some skin back on me? I think, yeah, pretty much. You know those those like anatomical charts Where it shows all the muscle and sine you I'm guessing it's pretty much that But fucking gigantic

Since it's gas Just walking around bleeding everywhere And he's like No I'm fine And Grotsnik has to remind him You have no skin Like what the hell

I'm just I'm sorry But like I gotta go back I can't get over The goddamn Flash bomb Beneath the iPad match because like, like, this is as good as Captain Badrucks, a bunch of suckers in the, in the beginning or in brutal Cunnen, because I'm just like, I'm matching that exchange.

You guys being like, I see you now. And he's like, eh, eh, eh, almost like the smiling friends bit with the landlord pulling out the bomb vest. It's like, not for long. And then he just plays this, this sound. And the best thing is, it's such a long play as well, because right at the start, Gads is like, you should have, you should have a bionic eye. What's this eye patch bullshit? And Slitter's just like, no, no, I like what I've got under here.

Because I get this whole time he's been carrying that round. Oh yeah, so across the entire book, multiple characters point out that his eye patch looks dumb and he should get a bionic eye. And Slitter's like, no, I like the eye patch. And it's just a flash thing. It's just a flashbang, yeah. Like, it's not even like a gun. It's not even something that's going to kill someone.

It's just a blinding device that he traded an eyeball. What a lad. What a lad. But a new favorite character. He orders, uh, Gaz orders that Goldacca's copter and armor should be repurposed to remake his weapons and armor before going to space and scuttling the cross-kits ship.

So all of that And he just goes straight back up into orbit And finishes ruining the Damocles So yeah Let's let's clean up that mess we made on the way in Let's go and deal with that now Now one thing that we haven't checked in on A bit is that Grot Grunty

Oh I was talking about the magistrate What happened to the Magistrate? They left through the little secret tunnel, right? Oh, we're going to get there, don't we? Oh, okay, okay, gotcha So yeah, Grunty, the one that had brought a tray of drink over to Gaskell at the start, which Gaskell didn't want and so sort of made him stick around,

he has had a tough go this entire time. After being taken by the goffs, which he viewed as no better than the squigs they ride on, he had been running around with a banner and trying to seek some purpose in life. During the heat of the battle, he had encountered Ergel, who was trapped under his trike, and helped free him before the Templars got there, allowing the orc to escape. Now he stands nearby Gaz as Gaz wanders around yelling, Where is he? Gazz looks at Grunty, who is still holding a battered banner. He grabs it from the grot and says, it'll do, before flicking the grot on the back of the head. The flick was not harder to kill him, but it was enough to rip the grot's soul from his body, allowing a new one to enter.

Oh, no. Is this? Okay, no, go ahead. Tell me. Tell me, tell me, tell me. No, you can't do me like this. Say it. Say it, carry out.

Just say it. You can't do me like this, period. Let him say it. Let him say it. Das drops the banner and says, pick it up McCarie, the grope blinks and then smiles, say, yes, boss, good to have you back.

Okay, okay, never mind. That's not as bad as I thought it was. What did you see that? Oh, what were you thinking? Because I immediately knew once the soul left, I was like, oh, that's Macari. So I should have known that. I should have known it was Macari.

That should have been obvious to me. I, for some reason, thought it was going to be the communist grot from the brutal canon books. Oh, the red one, right. I forget his name. The one that shy would like personally murder. I forget their name already. Well, only because he keeps getting...

Yeah, because he keeps sitting overused and he never gets used for anything. And he always comes back and it's like, let him go. Yeah, yeah. Let him go. I thought it was going to be that one. I thought they were going to do some mixture of that type of thing. But no, that makes total sense that is Macarra. I think I just had like a flashback moment.

That makes more sense. He's got to have his personal grot back. He's got to have it every time. So Slitter wakes up on Grotsnick's table and Grotsnick put something in his head to open his mind up. Slitter accuses him of putting a bomb there and Grotsnick says that he doesn't do that anymore. He tells Slitter that Gaz has given him a task. Use this world to forge an army. Make it the world it should be. The shadow boss best heal up because he's got work to do. On the planet, the remnants of the Black Templars sit stranded. Now controlled by initiate Pfeum,

he states that they're going to try and rebuild their numbers and figure a way off this world. In the shadows, Chancellor Jazeer returns underground to speak with the Shadow boss. She informs him with the Black Templars on the world, and Slitter sees this as an opportunity. He can train the use of this world on the cross-gits and make them stronger. They will no fear. He offers Gazar food to give to the other humis to strengthen them. He's going to let the cross-gits season a bit and will train harder than before. It's his world now.

Gubal no more. It is now Scrognat and he rules all. Nice. Oh, yeah. He's such a good ruler for good old Scrugnats. I'm just glad that Slitter isn't dead. I like that he's being rewarded for his absolute, you know, fact-stabbing. Yeah.

No, he's, he's great. I'm very happy that he's still alive. I really liked that. That's like one of my favorite orc moments maybe. Oh, that's him on the cover? Oh, hold on, hold on. Wait, he goes insane. Wait a minute.

He's got the commissar hat and all the medals. And this is crazy. I don't know why. That's not how I pictured him at all, actually. You probably thought he was more grot-like based on the name. Well, I just didn't expect him to be wearing the commissar drip. Since he was always like, oh, he's the she's the show, bush. The part of me expecting me in black robes and stuff.

But yeah, that does go insanely hard. I kind of like their depiction better of the way I pictured him, actually. He looks really cool. Dude, she looks sick. I just... Yeah, he does. You're right, he does have like six knives. Yeah.

One in his hand, one on the bottom left, three on the right. God knows what's behind him. Don't forget the bayonet on his shooter. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. He's got a lot of tools to kill you with. Good for him. Hell yeah.

Amazing. Amazing work on that line. What a lad. What a lad. He's elevated himself really high up on my list. Works. Games Workshop. I know you won't be able to do this for like three years based on how model making goes,

but I would very much like a black library miniature of this war boss. Oh, hell. Yeah. 100%. A hundred percent. Now, you were... Dark book stay winning. Some of them are incredible.

Others, we do our best to forget. Now, you asked before. about the magistrate. The last section of this episode, which is only a couple of paragraphs, has the subheading, fuck yeah, all in caps. So, just so you know Possum's feelings on this next section, which given the rest of the script and the rest of the book,

that's some high praise, given how good everything else is, to how fuck yeah is the last bit. Deep in the catacombs of the world, Magistrate Unzarin stumbles in the darkness and eventually finds a chamber. A chamber he has never seen before with the heraldry of the Knights of Gabal, the winged serpent with the dripping fangs. Inside is an untouched and beautiful statue of Sanguineas and the magistrate laments. Why couldn't it have been him that arrived?

Why was it the Templars? He wade through the damp chamber and finds tombs with cracked glass. A tomb for fallen knights, perhaps. The tombs radiate cold and he looks inside. Inside of the one with a crack, there's clearly a knight, adorned with armour, which is covered with the heraldry, but the face of this knight is the stuff of nightmares. Hairless, pallid, flat-nosed, lipless, monstrous, vampiric. As he stares, the eyes of the night open and an armoured hand reaches for the magistrate's throat, its lipless mouth parts revealing fangs as it snarls. The magistrate scurries back and yells that he's an ally of the Knights of Gabal.

The creature stands and hisses, confused as to what it is and trying to catch its bearings. It shakes its head before grabbing the magistrate and pierces his chest with its teeth. The knight drinks deep before tossing him aside as the other sarcophagi rattle, each one hissing and screaming. Unruzen smiles despite himself. The knights did slumber beneath the surface. They were will deliver vengeance on this world after all. It's just a shame that he will not live to see it. Damn. Wait, is it black-raged?

Blood angels? Yep. Oh, my God. Well. We've got some, uh, some death company, um, knights of Gabal just hanging out in a big old cryo chamber under the planet. surface. That's going to be fun for the orcs and the Templars to come across, isn't it?

I was about saying the Templars might be struggling a little bit on that one. They might look at them and be like abominations of our steam sanguities or whatever. Yeah, they might. Yep. So yeah, it says basically the power plant that kept the entire

chapter of Black Raged Blood Angels in cryosleep was blown up. So now they're all unfreezing. Oh, that's so fun. Damn. I thoroughly enjoyed this one. I thoroughly enjoyed this one.

Agreed. That was, that was, that was, that was, that was pretty peak. Yeah. Yeah. I would like to note that even this episode, because obviously it's a very short episode, skipped a lot of really awesome moments and cool and funny stuff. And it is still 1,000% worth picking up the book. Reading it or, you know, getting it on audio book as the voice acting is apparently awesome.

And again, the name of the book is Gaskell Throcka, Warlord of Warlords by Denny Flowers. There was a small part of me that was getting real worried when you were like, oh, yeah, he pushed open the sarcophagus. I was like, don't be Eldart, don't be Eldart, don't be Eldart, don't be Eldart, don't be Eldart. I thought it was Eldrad. I thought it was going to be Eldrad again. I thought it was going to be like an ironic, fuck yeah, from Possum. Every single book. Now just ends with it with an

Ultra It's the Eldar And it's like Not again See that That would have That would be peak That would be a genuinely peak

Not the climate game Too bad Yeah So sad Well Slitter What he wanted And

The Marshall's dead So it all worked out Yeah What a great What a great time What a great one. That was great. I had a blast.

God, the orcs are just great. Fucking orcs and their orc books and their silly, goofy nonsense. Love it. Except that one. I mean, I mean, the War of the Beast orc books are like, they feel like they're barely orc books. Yeah. Still.

Yeah, that's bad. And none of them were, none of them were hiding a flashbang in their eye socket. So really, how could they live up to any of this? So true, besties, so true. Well, anything from anyone, any last statements shy as the resident orc fan? Yeah, yeah, resident orc fan. Good book, read. That's a good book, yeah, right.

Good book, good book read. All right, good book read it is. Hey, editor, can you end this episode? with the flashbang. Hey, hey, viewers. Thank you so much for watching our podcasts. Too bad you won't be watching anything anymore.