Adeptus Ridiculous - Who are the Lamenters, and what did they do to deserve this? | Warhammer 40K Lore

Episode Date: February 17, 2021

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Welcome everyone to a very special episode of The Adeptus Ridiculous. This is going to be our Lamenters episode voted on by you patrons over at patreon.com slash adeptus ridiculous. We put up the stretch goal of $1,337 a month and y'all crushed it. Apparently everybody wants to hear about the Lamenters. Bricky, you're a little iffy on the Lamenters, but it's apparently a fan favorite, so we're going to get into it. And Shai gave me a couple of stats that she wanted to,

wanted me to read out. So since this is our 10th episode, right now you can listen to our podcast nonstop for 10 hours, which officially makes it bingeable. I think it was bingeable before that. We now have over 200 patrons, which is enough to fill an entire anti-social distancing movie theater. That's a weird stat shy. We're also closing in on 10,000 subs on YouTube, which is enough to fill a social distancing compliance stadium. I'm sorry. Anti-social distancing theater. You mean a fucking theater?

You mean a normal-ass theater? A normal-ass theater, yeah. All of our goals, by the way, are socially distant compliant, by the way. So just to make sure. We recorded this online in Discord, very far from each other. Oh, yeah. We have the social distance. regulations all filled out.

We're so far away from each other. When you really think about it, space marines are always wearing giant suits of armor, so they're always social distancing. Oh, yeah, totally. We also got around 50,000 downloads on podcast, platforms, and 200,000 views on YouTube. Bricky has been, this is an actual step.

Bricky has been actually lead 1,537, time. Nice. That means I'm doing my job right. Wait, this next stat... Okay. This next stat is heresy, and I'm calling bullshit on it. D.K. exclaimed the Lord's name in vain approximately seven million times. Oh yeah, because you're always like, Jesus. Jesus! It's Warhammer.

What am I supposed to say? Emperor. Hallelujah, Jesus. Oh my God. Like, you... What else... Praise be Gork and Mork. Oh, that's true. Oh, my Gork and Morg. I could do that. Over the course of the last nine episodes,

at least two characters used weapons of mass destruction for the purpose of planetary grade devastation were turned into awful memes. Colonel Yerty and Doge Van Dyre? That's true. Boy, can we pick them or what? I think Doge Van Dyer is a personal favorite of my. Well, he is the

The new channel mascot The objectively worse than Hitler man is our official mascot In doge form In doge form I mean it's kind of I don't know

I was going to say it's kind of fitting But I'm like, we're not that bad Anyway Shise Vegas Pro 18 Crast at least twice While editing each of the podcast episodes You should probably look into a new editing suite.

I mean, I mean, Adobe can suck a dick, but Premiere is a very good software. I have heard premiere is actually really good, yeah. It's hard to relearn, but it is pretty. I mean, it does crash still sometimes, but it's better than Vegas. And no squigs were harmed in the creation of this podcast. That was an important factoid that we needed to get out of the way on our landmark 10th episode. So I didn't realize this was our 10th episode Yeah I guess it is

It sure is I was I was looking at the list Before this all started Yeah we're at 10 I'm just like damn it feels like we've been doing this for like two weeks Seriously 10 episodes and we covered the entire Horace heresy And in just three And necrons and elder wow we've actually gone quite a far wow We've done a lot of stuff so thanks again to every everyone at patreon.com slash adeptus ridiculous as we're sort of closing in on the $2,000 a month goal.

So yeah. I'm glad that we have a statistic on how many times I've been actually. That feels good because I'm like, it's just like, it's, you know, the point is just going so over their heads. I'm like, ah, if I get actually, that means that I'm doing a good job. Yep. And apparently you're doing a great job. Fantastic job. And now I need to find different exclamations.

I use the Lord's name in vain. Use... Use snack food. My holy bugles. Holy bugles. Oh, my rits. Oh, my Doritos. Oh, my, oh, mountain dew.

That's so much worse. Yeah, well... Well, so we get into the lamenters now. We shall. and I have specifically prepared for this episode by, so I was scanning the Discord the other day, maybe like three or four days ago, and I noticed that I had a mention,

and it was from Shy, all caps, don't read anything on the Lamenters, D.K. Spoilers! So I was like, okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna kind of avoid the Discord, not look anything up. All I know about the Lamenters is that their color scheme looks like a taxi cab.

It's the yellow, It's the checkerboard. They're literally taxi cabs, dude. Oh my God. I never thought it was with the taxi cab part. It dawned on me like a day ago and I was like, I got to bring this up. They are literal taxi cabs. Oh my God.

So, all right, so the lamenters, I obviously said, so there's going to be a diehard lamenter like guy watching this and he's going to be really upset because I am not going to be able to do these guys justice. Straight up, I will not. be able to do them justice like he like he probably wants me to but at the same time you know tough but yeah tough shit but honestly i i did some looking up i did my i did my research i got my google doc here i got all my things down and i will say i appreciate them more than when i didn't look them up um i still think that you know as a as a huge salamanders fam they're not quite like up

there on my, on my, like, oh, my God, they're so amazing because they're just salamanders, but depressing. So, so it's like, you know, they're both really big bros and everything, but let's get into it. So, I actually kind of wish we had did an episode of the Blood Angels before this,

because it probably would have helped out more, but we'll do that later, I guess. All right, so the elementers are a Blood Angels successor chapter. So way back when Horacee era, you had the 18 chapters nine-turned trader. Those are like the first foundings.

They're like the OG chapters. But you can have successor chapters and successor chapters are like, okay, you still have the gene seed from the main primark, but it's like a smaller organization because if I'm not mistaken, I think Gilliman was like,

you can't have Marines in a chapter that are any bigger than this amount, because if you do, we get heresy problems again, or there's something like that. Okay. Something like that. So basically-

You don't have any more heresy problems. We're sick of heresy problems. Yeah, yeah. So, like, the imperial fists with the Rogal Dore, and they have, like, the Black Templars and the Crimson Fists, and they're both successor chapters, and they have their own Delio. So the Lamentors are a successor chapter of the Blood Angels

with the primark of Sanguinius. who famously got fucking choke slammed by Horace in the in the in the Horace heresy Now they piece where he's just laid out fucking dead Yeah Emperor shows up yeah It's a good The art piece is so like

It's iconic right It's surprisingly iconic maybe just because of the art style Or maybe it reminds me of like old 18th century paintings Mm hmm kind of cool But they were started in something known as the 21st Founding which is the, I guess it's the 21st founding of a successor chapter or whatever. It's also known as the cursed founding. So we're starting off harm.

So the ad mech, we're like, okay, so those blood angel guys, right? They're primark dime and they all, and now they're haunted by visions of their dead primark forever. They're vampires, they drink blood. They need blood. Otherwise, they go into crazy rage. Pretty much. And eventually they go into crazy rage no matter what. It's called the black rage

And once you've reached a black rage level You're turning into like a death company Which is just your purpose is just run at the enemy at Mach 5 And hopefully die while inflicting as much carnage as you can Because if you if you survive You're gonna get sent back and killed anyway because you're too dangerous to be kept Which you know so they got crazy things So the ad mech took Lamenters and they fucked around with sanguinius's gene seed

to hopefully get rid of that black rage defect. And they did. And they were able to get rid of it. But there seemed to be like, you know, you know the idea of probability where it's like, okay, technically everything has a chance to happen. But these boys got fucked over so much that there's got to be something else going on. Like Zinche is just there like, eh, let's look at this shit.

Like something's up with them Right So Almost a huge amount Of the chapters found in the 21st founding Were fucked up in some way And so Lamenters were Naturally

Disliked by many other space marines Because they thought they were untrustworthy Oh They just they just didn't They didn't trust them They were like You guys are unstable You'll turn to chaos

Get the fuck away from me So they had no reason to really distrust them. It's not like the lamenters were like, oh yeah, hey guys, did you know we're going to betray you or something? They were just inherently untrustworthy of them, thought they were unstable, and fuck you guys, you're the worst. It's like if your anime club at your high school, it's like if nine out, if like nine out of

10 of them all like decided to shoot somebody. Like that, like that, that 10th guy is probably a totally nice guy, but I don't trust him. Right. That's... I don't trust him at all. That's fair. That's fair. Something about the company you keep. Yeah. Yeah. So they were all kind of had problems.

And so the rest of the space Marines were like, ew, lamentors, taxis, get away from me. They also had a problem with their genes, see, where they had a constant amount of, like, mental melancholy. They were constantly, like, kind of suffering from this weird state of melancholy the whole time, which is weird and not great. Yeah, that's not great.

And yeah, apparently a lot of the other 21st founding chapters turn to chaos. So another reason to not trust them. So the lamentors were like, okay, okay, you guys don't like us. We're going to, instead of like risking persecution by the inquisition and stuff, we're going to go fight the Xenos. Because when it comes to the map of the galaxy, the far, far and away, like in the corners of the galaxy tends to be Zeno space. And since they're a chapter that doesn't have a home planet, unlike everyone else, they're a fleet-based chapter, you know, like Corrians in like Mass Effect.

Right, right, right. So, yeah, a big flotillas ships. So they decide, okay, we're going to go instead of fighting the enemy within, we're going to fight the enemy without. And we're going to go fight Zenos at the far reaches of space. However, during that period time, did we talk about Abidon? We haven't yet, have we? No, so I think after the Horace

Heresy was done, I was like, hey, what comes next? Who's the big villain? And I think you and Shire were like, oh, it's Abadon, but we'll get to him later because he's a dick too. Yeah, he's a dick. Okay, so he's had 13 black crusades, which are like his big crusades to stop the Imperium. He's failed, like almost all of them besides the 13th.

But that's kind of why he's jokingly referred to as a failure. He's like, Falbidon. I mean, he's tried 13 times, like, of course. I mean, he's caused problems, but yeah, he hasn't done a great job. He's never won, yeah. Well, besides the 13th one. Right, right, right, right. If I'm not mistaken, the 13th one was the fall of Kadia, and that was his, that was his good stuff.

But it is pretty tough. Anyway, during the 9th Black Crusade, the Lamenters were called back to defend a hive world from, you know, his shenanigans. And the other Space Marine chapter that was there, on said hive world straight up refused to fight with them the mortifactors chapter they were super suspicious and they were like

we would rather leave than serve with you so they bailed they bailed on the entire planet because they didn't want to fight with the lamenters so the lamenters in order to help save the population and and save the humans in the hive city they held out until

only about 200's lamenters were left they're like a massive chunk of their entire chapter fucking died until finally at the end the ultramarines and the white scars came to help them out oh man that's so fucked up so it gets worse so after of course it does it's warhammer so after only two 100 of them were left they were really fucking sad that like most of their company died and so they they left after being rescued by the white scars ultramarines And then they got stranded in the warp for a hundred years due to a warp storm and constantly fighting demons from like trying to fuck them for like a hundred years.

That's a, that's so unlucky. Like, how did they get caught in the warp? Is it just because like they were fleeing and then blit? They like accidentally warped into... No, like a warp storm. Big old warp storm. Oh, right. I didn't realize warpstorms just popped up out of nowhere and like just engulfed people.

That sucks. Yeah, they were just, they were stuck in the war for like a hundred years. I think their Geller Fields didn't always work well, so they had demons attacking them. And they were there for 100 years, 200 men, constantly fighting demons. And then they finally came out and they were good again. And then they started refilling back to full strength. They were working their way up. And they decided to fight with another group called the Astero.

Clause, who were, like, surprisingly, like, the only friends, the Astral Clause were the only group that ever showed them like any kind of kindness. Oh, and they started fighting them? No, no, no, no. They started fighting with them. Oh, with them. Okay, I misheard you. I thought you said they started fighting them.

And I was like, man, these lamenters cannot catch a break. No, not yet. Don't worry. They won't catch a break. But at the current moment, they're working with them. because they were the only chapter that showed them any kind of kindness. Damn, even a hundred years later,

after being caught in the warp, after making that last stand going down to only 200 of them, everybody still fucking hates them? Yeah. Holy scores. Sorry, that wasn't that funny. I don't know what that was so funny.

So anyway, Okay, so space marines are petty assholes. All right, space marines, I mean, they're not as bad as Imperial Knights, but they're hoity-toity douchebags quite often because they consider themselves better than the average person, which they are. They're very like, the duty of the chapter and the brothers are more important than an imperial citizen.

Goodbye. Enjoy getting murdered by Tyrannins. Oh, Jesus. And indeed, assholes. Yep. So let's go into some notable battles. We got about four. We got about four, and they make up the bulk of the Lamenter's lore.

So the first one is the Corinth Crusade. Now, it was fought in a planet called Slaughterhouse 3, which was an orc slave mining planet. I was about to ask, who names their place Slaughterhouse 5? Of course they work, too. Of course they are. Okay, fair enough. So about 300 lemmen.

So they were chilling around with the Ultramarines at the time. And basically they were looking down there and they saw hundreds of thousands of human slaves going into like mining mines and just never returned. And because they were a bunch of orcs. And of course, the Lamenters were like, this Russell's my jimmies. You know, because they're the brodies here guys.

So working along with Ultramar, the Ultramarian chapter master is a guy named Marnius Calgar. So Calgar was like, Okay, we'll help them. It's like a whole orc world. It's quite hard to deal with. He was like, all right, we'll help them. Sure, or you're allowed to help them,

but we ultramarines are not going to assist you. If you're going to help them, this is on your own. Right. I guess that makes sense because to like the ultramarines or like whatever, trying to save a bunch of civilians from an orc planet. It's got to be a massive undertaking because those are orcs. Like, we just discussed, we just discussed how hard orcs are to kill and how bad they are and how much they'll fuck you up. I imagine trying to save people from a planet of them is just like, nope, sorry, sorry civvies.

It's not worth it. Kind of, I mean, I think ultramarines are supposed to be nice, but they get so much preferential treatment that I'll shit on them regardless. I'm looking at you, luten. Ooh, shots. So speaking of shots The Lamenters decided to go for it anyway They only had 300 of them

But they attacked the Ork population And after And while I started attacking The human population kind of rose up You know, they were like Rebellion And three million people Were rescued

Wow But they only The Lamenters only had one major battle barge And they And they couldn't escort 3 million people off the planet And so this one badass Tech Marine was like

furiously trying to fix Ork ships that, you know, are orkships. Yeah, good luck. It's all just scrap metal that falls apart, right? Not sometimes, but pretty often. And so they kept on trying to fix it as an entire time. But then, about

100 Lamenters died during this fight. So, you know, that was pretty bad. But then the humans were like, hey, you guys are awesome. You really helped us out. We like you. Leave us behind and get off world. It matters more that you guys survive.

Oh, that's kind of nice. Yeah, damn, go bro to your humans. And so the mentors were not happy with this decision, but they said, okay, fine. And so what they did is they detonate a fuckload of bombs underneath in the underground orc mines.

And which basically was akin to declaring exterminatus on the planet. So only about 100 Lamenters survived and with some furious adjustments to the battle barge and the orc transports about 250,000 survivors were able to make it off world,

which compared to 3 million is less than 10%. Yeah, that's... At least they got some of them. They got them. 250,000, they got them. And they made it back. And Marnius Calgar, the Ultramarans guy, was like fucking static.

He was like, holy shit. You guys are like really, really brave and powerful. And there's only a hundred of you left. Oh my God. Here's an iron halo. An iron halo is like a, like a, I think it's a force field type deal. It's a, it's a damn powerful piece of tech.

Okay. And as like a gift or like a like a metal almost. Like a medal of honor almost. Yeah, yeah. Kind of, yeah. And then and then the Lamenters denied it. because they were like, we don't feel like heroes. What?

Three million people were there. Yeah, they had to sacrifice so many humans. They could only save less than 10%. Only a hundred of them survived. Yeah, I guess they probably wouldn't feel like, oh, we've won. Yeah, we're all dead. Yeah, so they decided to deny it. And then Calgar, well, Galgar was like, all right, fine.

But then the rest of the ultramarines were like, what the fuck? Why aren't you taking the thing from our chapter master? You guys are weird and suspicious. We don't like you. So the rest of the ultramarines got more angry and suspicious at them because they wouldn't accept his gift. They really can't catch a break, can they? Nope. After all that, after saving all those people, regretting it, only a hundred of them survived.

Finally they get some recognition and everybody's just like, yeah, fuck you. You didn't take his gift. You're shady as fuck. Back to hating the lamenters. Don't like, don't want that our gift. Are you chaos? What are you chaos or something? Huh?

So, so. Iron Halo. Come on, you idiot. Hey, those things are cool. Actually, I'm gonna, I'm gonna look up on iron halo is real quick because I'm kind of, I'm trying to face that out.

A revered part of the armory of the chapters of death of Astardis and is a common Astardis Award for Valor. Let's see. Procidious honor. Oh, here it is. combat effect. A very strong conversion field around its wear, which makes his

armor even harder to pierce. Oh, yeah. So maybe they should have taken that because it would have made them tankier, but oh well. Yeah, I mean, like, I get being, I get lamenting that you couldn't save all those people and that you lost a bunch of people, but like,

that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, you want that. I think, I think, I think, I think, In game, it's a four-up Inval save or something like that, which is pretty good. Yeah. It's an Iron Halo. He should have taken it.

I'm just going to say that. He should have taken it. You know, suddenly I'm just like, man, these lamenters, I'm suspicious now. Are you suspicious now? I'm suspicious of these lamentors. They seem weird. They seem heretical to me. Well, we'll talk about the Badaab War in a moment, and then you'll change your mind.

The Badaab War. Badaab. You know what I'm thinking. Right? No. Oh, no. All I can picture is someone dabbing downwards and doing it wrong. And everyone's like, man, that's a bad dab.

It's a bad. It's a lamenter's doing a bad dab, but dab. Fuck, fuck this. All right, so there's this other thing in the Jericho Reach, which is, this is the thing where they escorted a rogue traitor. Imagine a rogue trader kind of like a, a massive example. It's like Shepard in his group. It's like a human guy.

He works for the, works for the Imperium. Sometimes they bring aliens on their ship to help them out. They're like mercenaries or their own kind of little like like investigative group or something. It's kind of cool. It's like if you want a more like human style. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So they had like a thousand year debt to this rogue trader guy.

So they helped him out and they like escorted his ship. Well, one of their ship suffered a massive drive failure. And they all had to escape from the ship. And most to all of the lamenters there died. and only like a few of them survived and they were then indicted into the Death Watch which is a different version of Space Marines but a lot of the ones on that on that escort vessel died

so the Lamenters are once again not very doing very well Jesus so did Lamenters ever have that many people in them it seems like every battle they go to they fight tooth and nail they do really well but like 90% of them get fucked and they have to like rebuild the lamenters all over again. Yeah, kind of.

They're mainly just being kicked when they're down. They finally get like back up to a solid amount of strength and then they immediately just get pummeled again and they and that's that. That, Jesus. Oh, sorry, I didn't come up with a snack food. Sorry, I was about, I was waiting. I was like, how dare you?

Damn, I'm sorry. I've, I've fucked up. So let's talk about the Badaab War. So here's, so basically, remember those guys, the Astral Claws they kept fighting with? Yes. So Astral Claw, I think, Chapter Master, look for Toulon. Where are the? Cazoonite.

What the fuck his name is. I don't, listen, man. All right, listen. I'm putting this name in chat. Tell me how you pronounce that. Oh, God. L-U-G-F-T-H-U-R-O-N. Look-F-D-H-R-O-N.

I don't fucking know, man. I would guess that the G was silent and I'd go left Huron or Huron That's less that that's not as funny I'm not he's not left at all There's nothing left about him he's all his name is luggy all right shy told us he's gonna call him luggy now Luggy yep luggy huron Luggy of the Asthma Claus So good old Luggy wanted to fight a big old war in a maelstrom Area of space and the imperial was like

Nah He was denied And so he was like, how dare you? And so in the Badaab sector, he led like a kind of an insurrection against the imperial forces there who they believe to be pretty damn corrupt, like greedy assholes. And they were like, we need to lead our fight. We're going to do an insurrection here. Yeah. And so obviously the Lamenters being like lifelong bros with the Astral Clause.

helped them out, as well as another group called the Mantis Warriors. They were their first ever, like, genuine actual friends. So with that, though, turns out our good friend Luggy actually turned chaos, and so did all of the Asthma Claus. Oh, no. So then the Minotars chapter, which is another successor chapter, arrived and were like, oh boy, a whole lot of traitors. Oh no.

And the minotars are like pretty brutal. They're like space wolves level. And so they just came in and like, and just like curb stomped them. Yeah, they're very, they're very like doomslayer space marines, absolutely. The minotars are like doom slayers? They're like doom slayer space marines. Wow. Actually.

That's pretty hard. I think their color scheme does carry like a little bit of a doomslayer look to it. Oh, well, actually, maybe that's the color scheme. More so the fact that they're just like, they just really like killing. Man, I, I suddenly feel so, so very bad for the Lamenters again. They had one group of friends, lifelong friends in the Astro Clause, and whoops, all chaos, and it's just, oops, all chaos. Oh man. So the Minutars came by

and then they just pounded them into submission. Oh, man. They fought tooth and nail. The Astrocloths, you know, they went to chaos and all, but eventually the Lamenter surrender reduced again to only like 300 Marines.

Yeah, of course. And by doing so, they were then imprisoned. And the Minutans are very upset that they lost a bunch of their dudes and their gear. They, you know, requisitions a large amount of the lamentor ships in their years

and basically stole it because they were like, you fuckers destroyed our shit, it's our shit now. Oh, God. So the mantis warriors and the astrocloths, I don't really know what happened to them, I'm pretty sure the astralclaws are all, you know, they're all chaos now, so who cares. Oh, okay, that chaos.

Or they're dead or they ran away or whatever. I don't care much about, I don't care about Lucky. Um, but the, the, the, the, the, elementers, they were actually given a pardon by the courts. Um, I was, I was wondering when, when the Astro Clause went chaos, did the Lamenters didn't turn on them that did they actually like fight the Minutars off or try to fight them with the Astro Claw? No, so the Astrocloths, they, they, they lied and they were like, hey, all these Imperium officials are corrupted. Oh. Or they're corrupt. Oh.

quite in a letting us fight. Oh, okay. Gotcha. So they didn't know they were chaos. Okay. Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha.

They were just completely unknown. They were like, oh my God, we didn't know they turned to chaos. In my head, I was like, oh, God, are the lamenters being punished for something? They didn't even. You're friends with bad people. Prison. Well, that's what was what was happening. But they did get a bit of a, of a, like, they got let go.

They got let go. The courts were like, you know, you know, okay. You know, you screwed up, but you're going to show some penance right now, all right? So they had to do a thing called the Penance Crusade. The Penance Crusade is a hundred years of crusading for the emperor, but you are completely unallowed to replace your losses with new Marines. Oh, no. Just not allowed to.

Oh, no. This is bad for the lamenters, isn't it? This is real bad for them. The way this story has gone so far, this can't be good. I just imagine a hundred-year crusade with like a lamentor and a half. There's like, there's one lamentor that's still just trudging along and another one that doesn't have a leg. He's on a crutch and they can't replace anything. But the other one's in a dreadnought.

Yeah, exactly. He's already died. He's already dead. Yep, sure. So in their 100-year crusade, they decided to get to another area of space. So they found these dudes They call the tyranids And there's these things called High Fleet Crackin

Which is one of the more terrifying Tyrannid High Fleet's They found the High Fleet The Fringes of Space And they The Tyrannids were like You know On a fucking human planet

And they were just eating up all the populace And you know The Lemit mentors were like Oh God it's the populace There's some good humans I want to go help them So they went down there And they helped and they tried to fight the tyrantids for as long as they possibly could

And they really held out But then if things could not have gotten worse They got worse So it turns out that during this fight The ad mex solution for the black rage didn't work And the black rage came back Oh Toaster strudels

That's Pop Tarts Yeah Pop-Tarts, Toaster, Strudels, and any other pastry you can think of, because that's, that sucks. So this is a real Pillsbury Doe Boy moment. This is, this is, yeah, that's, man, everything bad that could happen has happened to these fools, hasn't it? Well, because the Black Rage came back, they had to send a lot of Marines as death company, which obviously was to their death, but they can't recoup their losses because they're on a Pendence crusade. Oh, yep, that's a

That's a biscuit So they They couldn't refo the losses They lost nearly all of their men Besides like two companies And to most of the world This was thought to be the death of their chapter And the Tyrannids ate the rest of them alive

And the lamenters are no more Oh Jeez cheese and crackers this is not true it was thought to be the end it was thought to be the end it probably was the end

until GW probably reconed it because that's what they do they wanted to sell more Lamenters minis of course dude they won't sell the Wenters Minis you see these fuckers and their taxi cab ass looking

that's true they are Well, I mean, you could custom paint them to not look atrocious. Probably. Well, so it turns out that there's like, like, for instance, one of the major elementary characters is a dreadnought, and he's currently working with the Death Watch. The Death Watch, we'll get to them eventually, but they're like, like Specops. Speck O'Ops Marines.

They're entirely about killing aliens. Okay. So it's the idea, like, like, The Death Watcher are built from other chapters. Like this, a team of guys might be like one Salamander, one Ultramarine, one Lamenter. Because it's the idea that like, okay, we've, we've fought the alien, we've seen the terror they can provide. We are now going to dedicate our life to killing aliens. So are they just like the best of the best or are they just like?

They're specifically suited for killing aliens. They have a bunch of rules that, that, that, like are specific to like stop the Eldar from being annoying make reanimation protocols not as powerful screw up the hive mind of the tyrannids they're very like dedicated to killing aliens okay got you um but one of the and they actually they actually look fucking cool they have like jet black armor with uh like gold symbols on their we'll talk about them eventually but they're really cool looking um yeah they are shy just posted a picture of them they look sick they're badass they're literally like the spec ops they're like the navy sea

like the Danish frogmen of space marines. But yeah, so one guy particularly is the Dreadnought Chiron. And basically he's one of the only dreadnights, dreadnought, sorry, dreadnoughts within the Elementor's chapter. And he's part of the Ordo Zenos of the Death Watch. And he thought he was the only surviving member of the entire Lamenters chapter because he's the last guy part of the Death Watch. Not anymore.

The Lamenters have been bolstered thanks to Gilliman. the, you know, prime mark of the Ultramarines. Yeah. He gave them a bunch of Primaris Marines, which are all those, like, new Marines. And so he started to bolster their, their groups, started to help out there, their chapter a bit. But before them, Lamenters were thought to be just, they were gone.

They were, they were dead so. They were out, out. And that, like, there really isn't a whole lot else on the Lamenters. There's a couple, like, maybe small battles here and there, but truthfully, it's just having a really bad time. So let's roll it back. Curse founding,

tried to remove the black rage, couldn't remove the black rage, constant state of melancholy, all of the space marines consider them untrustworthy, were left behind on a chaos planet, got strained in the warp for a hundred years, made friends with the Astroclos. Astroclos turned chaos and betrayed them,

and then the Imperium messed them up, had a horrible, painful death on the Ork planet. Ultramarines didn't like them because they refused their honor. A bunch of them died and then got turned to Death Watch when they were escorting the rogue traitor, and Pennance Crusade, and then the Tyrannids ate most of the rest of their chapter. And after all of that,

They are a bright, bright yellow color with a checkerboard shoulder pad and a bleeding heart circle in the center. It is horseshit trying to paint. Like Imperial Fists, at least they got that bumblebee look. They're yellow and black, but what is this? Yeah. What is this? From what I've seen of people painting, the checkerboard is the fucking worst. It's the most bullshit thing that people try to paint because there's no, there's no decal that's just.

like, oh, here's a big decal sheet of checkerboard. It's just like, no, you got to custom paint that shit yourself. teeny tiny little boxes on these teeny tiny little shoulders. And it's just like, ah. Fucking Harlequin players are just sitting there like first time. Oh. Oh, yeah, you know, Harlequins have a ton of checkerboards. Yeah, uh, harlequins are one of the few that I've seen.

That's like where I first heard people like complaining about checkerboards is someone was trying to paint a harlequin leg with the checkerboard. pattern and it was a it was a nightmare It's the worst It is So how often So the Lamentas

got put on that crusade That went for It was supposed to go For a hundred years Can't replenish Any of their losses How often does Do these chapters

Get sent on like these The Penn's crusade And how often does the chapter Just fucking die out Because well you can't You can't replenish your losses This is a 40K universe You're gonna

You're gonna suffer a lot of death and destruction and losses here. Well, there are a couple chapters that I know have been extinguished. The problem is the fact that naturally Games Workshop doesn't want to outright kill a chapter because then it makes painting and playing them kind of seem weird. That's fair. Which is not, which, you know, and then they don't want, they don't want the players to have less of an opportunity to play their favorite chapter.

So not often, I wouldn't say. but to say that they've come to the brink of death is pretty common, I'd say. Yeah, I mean, if you have to, if you have to crusade for a hundred years, I don't see any way around that in this wacky Warhammer world that we've got. Wacky Warhammer world? Yeah, we've got a lot of alliteration, man. The, I mean, the Lamenters, as far as I'm concerned, are, I mean, they're obviously, they are not doing particularly. great. They're not, they're not happy.

I mean, they're pretty pros. They're helping out the civilians. They're really nice. They're really kind. But, man, it is very true. They cannot seem to catch a break. It is very difficult for them to ever catch a goddamn break. I mean, they never have.

They've never caught a break. Like, throughout this whole episode, it's just been like, hey, watch the lamenters not catch a break. Watch them catch the exact opposite of them. break and get brutally fucked for kind of no reason. Oops. All pain. All tragedy.

Oops. All depression. Yep. That's the lamenters. Jesus. Yeah. They're not doing, they're not doing good.

Let's say at least. I mean, I think that's one of the reasons why I may not be as, like, excited to when it comes to lamenters compared to some of other chapters is because they actually have a kind of a smaller amount of lore. compared to everyone else. But also maybe I just don't gravitate towards murder porn.

But, but. But, or tragedy porn or whatever it's called. Like, I'm not the guy who's like, oh, I'm going to go watch a 9-11 documentary because I just want to have a good time. Oh, man. I'm not one of those dudes. Yeah, that's, that is definitely not a good time. Yeah.

But regardless, they are, they are interesting. I appreciate their, their, uh, their, like, inclusion. I like that they, that they're really trying. They're hardest, their damnedest. And I do, I guess I have to say that the people who pay them, I got to have a bit of respect. Because you don't have to, really. I do because they're really hard.

And, you know, all right. And they're really ugly. Yeah. You did it. And I'm like, all right, you did. You did it. And as far as far as I'm concerned. I gotta respect that paint job, even if it looks ugly.

Yeah, it's, oh, boy, they're basic colors. Like, God, it's atrocious. Like, that, if I really wanted to play Lamenters for some reason, like maybe on the tabletop, they were just like O-P-as-Fuck, I would custom paint a shit out of that. Like, no way would I make them look like a taxier construction equipment. No way. It's awful.

Absolutely not. I mean, I'm glad that they're bros, but I guess, I guess maybe the, I mean, the heart, like the crying heart obviously has like a, like a blood angels, you know, type of Judeo thing. Yep. I actually do want to know more about the blood angels because ever since the Horace heresy, like Sanguinius seems really cool. The whole vampire thing, super dope. Black rage and all that seems really, really cool. But I know next episode we're going to be talking about the death.

guard, right? Oh, yes. Yeah, so the, obviously the, the, uh, blood angels is something that we will have to get to. There's not much to talk about with sanguineas anymore, because, uh, he's dead. He's dead. But, uh, yeah, we'll definitely be doing the death guard next, though, because heading off with the lamenters, and we're going to talk about some really good guys. And now let's talk about some really, really bad guys. Because the death guard are pretty awful. And more, Portarian is pretty evil. Well, I suppose that makes sense that he'd be pretty evil, sure. Because he's a, he was a primark that went to chaos.

He's a demon primark. Ah, demon primark. He's still the primark, but now he's like a gigantic, like, demon creature instead of just being a dude. And I've seen his, I don't know if calling it a mini is right, because it's fucking huge. his mini and God it's so cool his fucking figure is so like with those big decaying

wings the gas mask the cloak I think he has a scythe right uh yeah yeah his sight is called silence he's uh he's really he's really cool he's really cool I mean he's still a mini in the sense that that dude would be towering over you

but tower over your house It's actually probably Yeah He's so big And and and I I got to know about typhus I have been I've been kind of

Ever since you mentioned typhus I have been chomping at the bit To know more about typhus And and how much of a fuck rat he is Yeah Typhus fucks man He fucks Typhus fucks Yeah I'm I'm stoked for the next episode

Hopefully Hopefully lamenters lived up To everybody's expectations They are sad boys. They, it sucks to be a Lamenter. They absolutely, this episode did not live up to it because I know that the Lamenter fans are like, this was shit. Did not do them justice. Didn't talk about that time when all of their moms were killed and their dogs died or something or something that is in, that's in contrast with Lamenter.

I'm sure it happened. It's the Lamenters. I'm sure it happens. It's like, oh, I didn't talk about any of that. It's funny because I do get a lot of I can't believe I didn't talk about which you know That's obviously missing the point because the point is to do a small condensed version for people who don't understand it If you want me to do seven hours of lore find a different channel, but Yeah, this is the bullet point version. This is the the spark notes only one guy

Only one guy has maybe be like I should have fucking said that Was that was in the was in the orc episode about the the orp with his did you read that comment about the orc in his gun? The orc in his gun. Oh, was that the, the lumber? Oh, no, the two by four one is funny. But no, no, there's an orc that travel back in time to kill himself so he can have two copies of his, of his favorite gun.

He just, how did he, how did he go back in time? I don't fucking know, man. It's orcs. Who cares? Guys, I really need to go back in time to get another copy of my gun. If you could all just believe that I can time travel, that'd be great. He built like some scrap machine and they were like Oh, what is this?

The time machine is like, I believe them. Yeah, I mean, this is a little Lamentos are a successor chapter. If we talk about like a big boy one like an ultramarines or an iron hands or something, I would be like, okay, goddamn, we got a lot to talk about. For this one though, as smaller, it's simple. And you know what? That one guy, what's that joke where it's like, don't fuck with us Lamenters fans. There are dozens of us.

Dozens. Dozens. Even that's probably an overestimation. There's like six people. You know, it's whatever. Yeah. If GW ever makes like a like a Lamenter's named character as like a model, it's going to be like an entirely quiet stadium and there's going to be one guy in the back like,

yes! One guy clapping. If you had to pick or I don't know if if they have anybody that's notable, but if you had to do a named Lamenter like mini, Like you had to come up with one. Who would you come up with? Or is there even a record of someone? Oh, yeah.

No, they have a few characters. Probably their Chapter Master. The Chapter Master is actually kind of neat. There's not a lot about him, but he has seemed kind of cool. His name is Chapter Master Malakim Foros. That's a pretty cool name. Yeah, he's kind of cool. There's not a whole lot.

I mean, he's part of those wars that I mentioned earlier and all. But the main thing about him is that he, like, when he's fighting, the black rage kind of like seeps into him but then he like constantly pulls himself back from the black rage so he's cool yeah he's like he's nicknamed like the watcher of the deeps because he's constantly

like pulling himself back from the abyss oh okay yeah that'd be a cool that'd be a cool little minute and have like a little I was gonna say he could have a tortured soul vibe but I was like it's the lamenters they're all tortured souls so lamenters I did it I'm

I'm sorry that I can't make it like super fucking exciting because it's hard because normally the excitement comes from when they like they win against all odds but these guys don't win. Yeah, they always come just a hair away from being obliterated entirely. That it's it's hard. It's hard to get super duper pumped. I don't have like a I don't have like a bunch of orc randomness. I don't have the famous Gose Van Dyer.

speech before his death. I don't got that with these boys. But when we do Death Guard, we'll have more. Don't you worry. Yep. Lamentius is just a series of unfortunate events. Starring Jim Carrey. Oh, yep. All right. Let me roll us out here. Take us home, Bricky. Thank you, everyone, for watching this episode of The Adept is Ridiculous. My name has been Bricky. You can find me at all things. Bricky, Twitch, YouTube, etc. D.K., where can they find you? You can find me at DK. Diamantees everywhere, Twitter, Twitch, YouTube, well, not Instagram, because I'm still, I'm still not raking it enough to buy my property back, so.

Soon. Soon. One of these days. Once, once we're all rolling in the cash from Patreon, right? Rolling it. Rolling, yeah. Rolling in it. Speaking of rolling in, that's my segue, because I'm rolling.

Shy, you can find shy at quite shallow and quite shy. in multiple different areas. That was a great segue, you're set with my joke. And for everyone else, thank you to our fantastic patrons at patreon.com. Slash, that is ridiculous.

If you are a patron, make sure that you have your Discord synced because we have a Discord, and it is quite bumping for all the patrons, and it's quite enjoyable, as the three of us do talk in the chats every so often. So, please give it a shot, and we will see you next week for Deathguard,

and maybe, a special guest. Ooh, are you gonna leave him on a cliffhanger like that? He was going to, but then you kept talking. Sorry.