Adeptus Ridiculous - You’ve been LIED TO about TZEENTCH | Warhammer 40k Lore

Episode Date: May 28, 2025

https://www.patreon.com/AdeptusRidiculoushttps://www.adeptusridiculous.com/https://twitter.com/AdRidiculoushttps://shop.orchideight.com/collections/adeptus-ridiculousTzeentch is a God of Chaos who represents the vitality and volatility of change. Tzeentch is closely associated with sorcery and magic, as well as dynamic mutation, and grand, convoluted scheming. The domains of history, destiny, intrigue and plots are his chief interests, and in pursuit of these aspects he listens to the dreams and hopes of all and watches their plans take form. He is not content to merely observe, however, and chooses to interfere in the skeins of fate in order to fulfill his own, unknowably complex schemes. Tzeentch is known by an endless multitude of names, but the chief titles he bears are the Changer of the Ways, the Master of Fortune, the Great Conspirator and the Architect of Fate.Support the show

everyone to another episode of the Adeptus Ridiculous podcast. My name is D.K. Diamantis. Oh, look, it's still Kariath because Bricky is roaming the countryside, doing what he do. But before we get into that, if you enjoy today's episode and you want to support the podcast, heading over to patreon.com slash Adeptis Ridiculous, where you can get access to the Discord, bloopers if they happen, $15 tier gets you access to all of our posters in just the crispiest, most be a beautiful digital form. should check it out right now patreon.com slash adeptus ridiculous

and if you want to get some of our sick march whether it's the new stickers the just immaculate karyoth sticker or the never having good days one objective markers dice hoodies all that great stuff

shop dot orchidate.com we'll get you all settled up you should do it do it now we do love that money Kiryath how are you today It's such a good end to the pitch We do love money We sure do

Capitalism reigns supreme once again More we would just want more coins for the coin throne If you want a boss baby it There you go Yes Get the boss baby out nice and early And then we don't have to mention it ever again Throughout the episode

Today's episode is corn, it's corn, it's corn, I got to quote it's corn Oh if only It's not I'm sorry It's World Eaters Anyway go ahead you've been set up here you've been set up someone set us up the bomb

oh no oh yeah possum is all over you because after the after like well this is the monster hunter thing isn't it if he doesn't get this I will hunt him for sport

says possum so the stakes are high the stakes are high this time round because if you're not on top of this an angry rodent I was going to say marsupial

but that's not what a possum is I don't think is going to track you down and presumably kill you when you sleep or potentially you know wire like gnaw through all your wires and ruin your electrical systems

I feel like a big well I don't want to let's not make excuses before I miss the quote but go ahead give me the quote okay you got you got to dig deep on this one all right lock the fuck in got it

I am here called a voice and the throng of demons parted around a lone member of their gathering. It grinned at them with its flayed vulture face, and then that face was gone. A new creature crouched in the air before them. Soft blue silk hung across its body, and it had no face, just a black space beneath its hood. Hmm. So this is some chaos nonsense.

Yep. Blue silk? Just a black void face? After the first first first first. face. The first face was a flayed vulture face. Then that disappeared and it was replaced with a black space beneath its hood.

So this is sounding very Zinch because like Zinch loves their bird nonsense. A lot of blue stuff there. A lot of empty void. Honestly, I don't know if this is just because like this is my favorite, but like it's

feeling thousand sunsy to me. I mean you pretty much mailed it when you said Zinch. Okay. You pretty much got there straight away. Good. Good for me. We'll just win for me. High fives all around.

So it's a Zinche episode? Yes, we're doing another chaos god indoctrination episode. We did know. Let's go. Now we're doing Zinch. And shy, no credit. It was too easy. Harsh.

Listen, nothing is too easy for me to get. Okay? I was going for the imperial compound yesterday, my friend. Or not yesterday, last week. You got it. You got it. That's what Parsham wanted. And now Parsim is going to hunt you in your sleep.

So this was the one to do it on. It's not going to hunt me in my sleep. Yeah, yeah. And my favorite, my favorite faction is the Thousand Suns. So, yeah. Like, I literally just started reading the Thousand Suns horse heresy novel. Just because I was like, hey, it's my favorite faction. I need more Thousand Suns.

Oh, Prospero Bones. Uh, no, actually. It's literally called a Thousandau. Thousand Suns. Oh, no, that's the Space Wolf one, isn't it? Prospero Burns. Yeah, I was going to say, because I remember I was looking for a good Thousand Sun's book. And I was like, oh, is it Prospero Burns that I want?

And I remember, I don't know if it was in like a stream chat or something. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. That's the one from Lehman Russ's perspective, which you might still want. But if you want a good primer on the Thousand Suns, you want that other one. You want a thousand sons. And then you want the Arieman omnibus. So, yeah. Both of those books did a great job.

of making two legions that I wasn't particularly hot on seem like the best ones of all of them. Very, very good for that. Really good. This is the most chaotic introduction that I think has ever been put into one of these scripts. So I'm just going to go for it and we'll see what happens. I feel like there's one specific commenter that I've noticed a few times and I think they're being targeted specifically here. So the Introductory Paragraph for today

Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of Detective Ridiculous We hope you had a great time learning about the sons of malice My name is Bricky Diamantis Be sure to drop your thoughts in the comments below Good night So we're starting out with Huh Yeah that is that is a lot to unpack

We've gone full chaos straight away Which you sure have Yeah. Feels appropriate. Yeah, that's, yeah, my exact reaction shy, like that, that gif, I'm just like, oh. I will point out that. It was sort of the way that this was put, it does seem to be optional as to whether

that got read out, but I just decided possum put it in there so Possum can deal with me reading it out, which I think is, I don't know whether that's fair or mean. I'm not really sure, but either way, I'll wait for it. what it is now, so... It is. It's out there. Anyway, this week, we wanted to go back to the concept we had about a month ago regarding Nurgle and do a bit of an extensive deep dive with another chaos god from its early meta-history onward. So this week, we're going to be looking at Zinch, allegedly. The chaos god... We know, we know Zinch exists as an all-knowing and unknowable entity in the warp.

They're a trickster, a conspirator, and a master of unreality. We are merely one of the five contestants on the stage, while he is an omnipotent little Alex Horn on a galactic scale, which is an excellent description. Oh, it really is. It really is. I remember we did an episode on Zinche, but I don't remember a lot of like the specific, um, sort of origins of Zinch.

So I am quite looking forward to this episode because I remember his domain is just an ever-changing thing. Eyeballs are everywhere, doors are going to places that don't exist at a different dimensions. So I'm excited for this one. I love doing, like, I'm already just, I love doing these deep dives.

I know we've only done an Nurgle so far, but I enjoyed that so much and we got like a bit more into, like, the meta side of it. This is going to be good. Yeah. We as humans offer Zinche something in the prize task portion of the show that makes us utterly essential for his existence, something a bit more specific than what the other gods are feasting on,

because we have something that the other species in the galaxy either lost or never had in the first place. So we'll be going into his early history, his relevance to humanity specifically, and the plethora of gifts he gives and assistance that he's had over the years. by the end of this episode you'll understand why he is so deeply intertwined with humanity so let's crack on to the next task to best understand zincher is core one needs to go back further into the history of the chaos gods themselves to see their impact on humans in the first place so as we mentioned in the nergle episode the chaos gods were introduced to both the setting of fantasy and 40k at the same time with the realm of chaos books for most of the gods this is fairly

seamless due to their more primal sense of being, but Zinch is a bit of a weird one. Zinch is directly related to magic in both settings, but the implementation of magic is a bit more straightforward in the fantasy setting, because it's a fantasy setting. Yeah, but like the scale of the chaos gods in the world of fantasy is on a lesser scale, despite the massive uptick in different races and factions. So Zinche ends up being a bit more multifaceted as a means to compensate for this. Like there's plenty of magic and sorcery in the 40K setting, but there's a predominant factor to Zinche's existence

that ties more directly with the nature of humanity in 40K. Okay. There's a specific paragraph in the realm of chaos lost in the down book that's cited substantially when it comes to the chaos god's relation to 40K, because it's within a description of the emperor's role in holding back the horrors of chaos through the history of humanity. But the quote is quite often misunderstood in its presentation. So the chaos gods, as we know, have both always been around and have never been around. There's no like reasonable and logical timeline for the gods.

Is they're just that? They're gods. I mean, I feel like that's always sort of the mythology of the gods. They have both always been and like, I don't want to say never been, but it's just like somehow, paradoxically, they have no beginning and they have no end, right? Yeah, yeah. The gods were a bit more dormant in ancient history. Now, people time and again will cite that the actions of humanity are what woke the gods

one by one in the first place, but that obviously puts a lot more emphasis on humanity than humanity deserves at that time in their history. So this is one of the better summaries of what occurred with the chaos gods during the course of early human history. I'm going to copy something in for you to read. Oh, boy. There you go. Corn was the first of the great powers to wake fully,

and an era of wars and conflict raged across the globe. Zinche was the next, and nations and politics grew to adulthood with all of their implicit intrigue and double dealings. Nergel was the third to awake, and plague swept across continents, claiming many souls for the Lord of Decatur. That's me.

By the end of the Middle Ages, all three of these chaos powers had awoken to full consciousness. The fourth power, Slanesh, still slumbered. That little that's me got me. I was taking a sip of water as you were doing it. I was like, I'm safe for a second. I've gotten to the point where every time I see the word decay, like, you know, decay and Ron, I'm like, oh, me, that they're talking about me. It's me. It's me.

DK, decay. Wow. It's me. Oh, God. So sometimes, like that segment, a bit oversimplified and taken with some omissions, right? So you'll see plenty of posts that say that the actions of humanity during the Middle Ages woke the chaos gods. But that's not really the case. Humanity had reached this point in their development and this coincided with the chaos gods waking up. And their waking is what caused these things to happen. Oh, so it wasn't necessarily... Yeah, because I always kind of thought that was the case where it was like, you know, humanity had sort of reached... I don't want to say their crescendo,

but like humanity had started acting up and being awful and that's sort of like what gave rise to the chaos. It's kind of like the same way that the Eldar reaching their peak were like, oh man, I guess now we better start just mutilating each other and having live murder sex shows. and being just the most excessive beings ever because we can find no other way to exist because we've reached the pinnacle.

That's how they gave birth to Slanesh. I kind of just assume that's how like every chaos god was like sort of woken up to ash and dust, if you will. Yeah, it seems like it's more that the chaos gods, not necessarily coming into existence, but becoming what they were, is what caused those changes in humanity. So it's like a proper reversal

of like the birth of Slanesh. So like you can look at that and juxtapose it with history and say things like corn caused the crusades, 100 years war, War of the Roses, Nogel caused the Black Plague. But with Zinch, you have a bit of a weird one with the politics grew to adulthood bit. Because the part of this, that feels,

I don't know why, but anything involving politics in this particular day and age, Zich. I love the best, actually real. I don't know. Yeah, I was going to say, I love the fact that was Zinch. It's just like, yeah, politics existed before Zinge, but once Zinch awoke, it's like, oh yeah, they reached a whole new level of just awful. And it's like, thanks, Zinch, go away. Please leave. We were doing fine. Please, go back to sleep. So the part that's doing a lot of the heavy lifting in amongst that is the implicit intrigues and double dealings bit, but you don't.

need political structures to have those things. And yet, Zinch leans heavily on that in the same way that Korn leaned on war in the Middle Ages and Nurgle leaned on the plague. So if you get down to like the bare bones of it with the above examples, you could say that Zinch is responsible for the concepts of like feudalism or monarchism, but he'd also be responsible in the sense of a church-based leadership as well. And this is one of my favorite titles that Possum has ever put in. vote for zinch change you won't believe in or it'll be changed that you end up regretting right i like the idea of just vote for zinch change and then that's the whole slogan yeah that that sounds that sounds more accurate just like change period is it is it good do no is it bad no idea

is it going to happen yes And then that's here. That feels like another t-shirt. Along with the, along with the born in time for Gathrimmon, we could have vote for Zich, and then just the word, change,

and then nothing else. What's the, the big, the, the obey, um, picture, but it's just change.

One or two more tentacles, and you're right in there. Mm-hmm. Yep. Yep. I've seen that picture before. It always gets me. Mostly because of the...

It's so accurate, though. It's so accurate. That's accurate. And then in the background, there's just reproduce, but it's cut off slightly. We'll get into the aspects of hope in a little bit, but it would be good to go into this a bit more as humanity's extremely vast, like,

swath of political powers in the 40K setting seemed to be perfectly designed for Zinche as a perpetual feeding machine for him, because taking the idea of him creating, like, feudalism and monochism, by stirring in his slumber, it means in a domino sense he is responsible for the Imperium itself and is consistently fed by all the different aspects of it. Because even though it's built off of the corpse of the Emperor himself, the Imperium's political structure embodies the best of the politics of the Middle Ages and beyond. it's massively chaotic to say the least.

Like the scope of leadership is all over the place. Even though it claims to be unified under one banner, you'd be hard pressed to prove that they're actually unified even if they all believe in the same emperor. Like the best example of this comes in the form of the High Lords of Terror themselves. So famously, they were very corrupt in the past when the Imperium was attempting to reform itself. Oh, yeah.

And just a little bit. That stayed fairly consistent for quite some time, and it eventually levelled out and came to heal quite a bit. But despite being leveled, it is exceptionally, and emphasis on the word exceptionally, convoluted. So you've got the 12 high lords, known as the high 12, nine of which are fairly consistent in their position, and three others that could come from a separate pool of lords. then you've got lesser lords that are overseen by a chancellor of the imperial council and some of those lesser lords are either independent organisations with the Imperium as a whole or they are sub-factions of those who might have a high lord position so in total there's somewhere in the vicinity of 22 completely separate politically driven organisations

represented in the senatorium with their own unique structures and figureheads and most importantly, ambitions. Oh, man, Zinch must love that. So much potential for backstabbing, for politicking, for maneuvering, for trying to disrupt one person to get what you want. And it's interesting. Whenever we talk about the Imperium,

it's just like, especially now I'm like, oh, wow, yeah, Zinch must love that. Man, I can't believe how much the Imperium is feeding Zinch. And then I think about it and it's like, well, I mean, the Imperium is feeding all of them pretty hardcore. A massively complex, politically corrupt, warmongering, stagnant, decaying empire that is made up of trillions of humans who are furiously having to reproduce to keep the number of humans up. And chaos never wants that to end, where they just keep, it's just this never-ending circle

that feeds on itself. Right. A hundred percent. It just, the cycle can't ever actually stop at this stage. It's just permanently locked in. Yep. Now, despite how convoluted the, like, structure of the Imperium is, probably thanks to Rebusay firing a whole load of them and dusting off some ancient Excel documents to

help organise things better, it's clear that the Imperium is somehow functioning, somehow. It hasn't actually totally collapsed and imploded. and the various lords are at least capable of keeping some things afloat. But that is not an easy feat. It's highlighted in Watchers of the Throne that the work of the senatorium is a borderline impossible feat due to the extreme size of the Imperium and that all they're really trying, like, they're trying to do what they determine to be their best. Like imagine a council room on our planet of Earth attempting to keep tabs on the

entirety of the Milky Way with the sci-fi equivalent of a can on a string to communicate with all of them. Yeah. You could be the most competent person in the room, which most of them actually are, and you'd still be dealing with completely insurmountable odds. Yeah. Impossible. Good luck.

It's not going to happen. Just focus on Earth. Yeah. Yeah. But they keep doing it. Like they keep doing what they can to get the job done regardless of the others in the room. So to be a high lord is to be driven by your own personal ambitions and hopes for the future of humanity as a whole, even if it does take implicit intrigues and double dealings.

Now, in conjunction with this, you have other organisations through the Imperium that are at odds with the High Lords themselves and work with different goals and ambitions in mind. So operating as intended, the Astartis don't have a presence of. the High Lords because of their designation as protectorates as opposed to leaders. And obviously they have their own structures internally that vary wildly across the different chapters. But beyond this, you also have the Inquisition acting above and beyond all the other organisations whenever they think it's necessary. They are at times, like at odds with the others that exist under that same banner of the Imperium.

So similar in like ambition and similar in trying to keep humanity alive, but massively different in methodology. Oh, the Inquisition. Our all-time favorite bunch of nutters. Historically have never done anything wrong or anything out of ambition, right? Never, never, never, never. I still think my favorite little thing about the Inquisition, I forget the name of the Ordos themselves, but I'm sure. there is an order of the Inquisition that is

responsible for like time travel shenanigans, but then there's another ordo whose entire existence is dedicated to checking up on the ones that check up on time travel shenanigans. It's something like that. It's like, this

branch deals with this issue and this branch deals with this other branch and it's like, oh, for God's sake, guys, come on. Sounds like the movie Time Cop. It does actually. Yes, autocrinos. I think it might be them that have some that they just check up on them constantly,

but I could be wrong as to which ones they are. I just know that there is one lot in there that they're only there to check on the others, which is great. I'm honestly shocked that you got the Time Cop reference. Look, I've seen things occasionally. It's not his best film. His best film is still the Street Fighter. Yes!

Yes! My man! Yes! So good. Anyway, that, like, all of that is, it's, that's only at the top. You see it in a smaller scale, time in time again, in stories and novels where planetary governors get greedy and sneaky. You know, they're controlling their population. Their desires overshadow their abilities to rule, despite the fact that they are supposed to be rulers. And they will do whatever they can to hold this position because their desire is for a goal that is seemingly endless.

this is something that Zinch, like it feeds Zinch aggressively. Ambition to no end combined with personal dreams of grandeur that despite becoming more and more unobtainable are still sought after in an almost reckless sense. But at the same time, the opposite also feeds Zinch. Take the corrupt planetary governor example. He has ambition, he has a greed-driven desire to get more power and get more fame and more wealth regardless of consequences.

But the consequences of this action is a potential revolution at the hands of those who have a strong desire for change in his leadership, with a dash of hope for a different future. This two-prong concept means that Zinche is eating good either way. No matter which one ends up on top or winning or in power for the longest, whether change happens via revolution, whether the governor succeeds in crushing the population and asserting his rule. Like, Zinj is eating real good off humanity.

He's not getting that sort of meal anywhere else in the galaxy. Well, I was going to say, I was going to ask if he eats off of Tao, but then Tao don't super have a big presence in the warp or something, right? So they don't really eat well off of Tao or something. Am I right on that? Yeah, they don't have a presence in the warp. I don't know whether it's clasped as like a soul or like a shadow. I think if there is, it's like super, super weak.

And shy makes a good point. Like the humans outnumbered tau like how many trillions to one? Because the tower is still a relatively newborn faction race, if you will, in the grins. Yeah. So it's like the tower may be a drop in the bucket. So it's like, eh, whatever. I need to concentrate on the. the six-course meal over here and not the, you know, the amuse bouch of the towel.

They're not even an amuse bouch. Would you walk away from the all-you-can-eat buffet to grab half a sandwich off someone else's plate in a different room? Honestly, the way we've been talking about the towel, it's like, would you rather have an all-you-can-eat-lux-buffe? Or would you like just the crust off of a peanut butter and sandwich that's been sitting on a little for an hour? An old crust. It's just the crust. It's not even got any of the nutrition in there. No.

It's got any protein. It's just the crust. Would you like several old carbs? No. I'll have all of this instead, thanks. I'll have the buffet, thanks. Yeah. So there is an important quote to round out the concept of Zinch

when it comes to his baseline presence within humanity itself, which also kind of outlines why he is not so, in step with the other folks in the galaxy. So I will, once again, lean on you. Ooh. Zinche feeds upon the need and desire for change that is an essential part of human nature. It is also a part of elven nature, but not to the same extent as mankind is a far more volatile and ambitious species. All men dream of wealth, freedom, and a better tomorrow. nor are these dreams the preserve the preserve of the impoverished or powerless

as even rich men dream of further riches or of an end to their responsibilities. All these dreams create a powerful impetus for change and the ambition of nations creates a force which can change history. Zinch is the embodiment of that force. I do like that it's almost like a critique of humanity as well. It makes it seem like humans just as a whole, they're just greedier. They just want more.

They just want to be on top. They just want like one, one, like a million pounds isn't enough. It needs to be two and five and ten and a hundred and a billion and a trillion. And like one, one, when you look at things like, something that I always find super interesting is the statistics on like lottery winners and how many of them end up. bankrupt because they just immediately go everything that I've wanted to change about my life, I can do it right now. I've always wanted a giant mansion. I've always wanted, you know, four supercars. I've always wanted to be able to just, you know, stay on a yacht for six months out of the year. And they just do it. They just go straight in. It's like, do you want to invest

any of this? Maybe secure your future? No. But have you heard of this thing called cocaine? Because I have, and I'd love to give it a go now that I've got the money for it. And it's just, I was going to say, this is, this is leaning more towards a Slanish episode now. Like, holy.

I guess, yeah, but then it's also, it's still that thing of change, isn't it? Yeah, it is. It is still a destructive change.

Yeah. Like, you just have to do things differently, for whatever reason, just immediately driven to completely alter your lifestyle, your habits, how and what you consume, and when,

like, it all just gets upheaved instantly and so many of them end up with nothing. And they've had a vast amount of life change. But at the end of the day, they've not ended up any better, which feels very just as planned, to be honest. I would imagine Zinj would like that even more because you went from like the change of being maybe lower class. You win the lottery.

You are high class. You're spending big. And then you get dropped down lower to where you were. And it's like, oh, but I've had a taste of the good life. And I really want to change back to get to that point. And you probably are just hungrier than you were before to change again. It's also like a good example of the way that all of the different gods kind of tie into each other in some way. Because it's that whole thing of surely like Lucius the Eternal, for instance, a Slenesh champion because he's constantly striving for perfection.

But he also kills and has killed hundreds. A lot. It's one of his favorite pastimes. Yeah, that in itself is quite a cornate thing to do. So when he is striving to perfection by, you know, entering into a lot of the time honorable combat, that is still Corn's domain in a way. But he's also seeking to change himself endlessly

to become better than what he is, which is a little bit Zinthian. So there's a lot of like, I think it's the thing of like surely all of these tie into each other. And I think most of the time they kind of do. But that's when you get these kind of oppositions where, you know, Zinchennergel don't get on, that sort of thing. Yeah. Well, do Zinchennergel not get on? I think it's like, well, yeah, Shai says none of them like, get on, get on.

But there's some kind of like diametric opposite things going on where Nurgle is about stagnation and decay, at least on surface level anyway. whereas Zinch wants things to be different. Nogel is happy to continue a cycle endlessly. Zinch doesn't want any cycles. Zinch wants things to branch off every single time. I think actually Korn and Slenesh, they have a similar thing because it's like the approach of how people, you know, spill blood, collect skulls, the reasoning for it makes a difference as well.

So, yeah, there's none of them really get on, but some of them don't get on with others more than they don't get on with the other ones, if that makes sense. Yeah. The elder, after fucking around and finding out, literally, have relegated themselves to very rigorous and very predictable paths as a means to temper themselves. That makes them less attractive as an option in the eyes of the God of Change. Even those who stray from those paths follow a fairly consistent course of continued debauchery that fails to be unpredictable as well

plus they're already a bit well hidden from the gods anyway even the orcs are a race destined to follow the same path of endless war over and over again Yeah that's that's fair I'm sure Zinche does not like Eldar does not like the orcs They don't feed them enough They're very predictable for sure They don't do it right in the

they do the same thing by rogut, which is not what Zinche is about. No, no, yeah, I guess that's true. And the Eldar are just like, oh, yeah, we're also just not going to die. We're just going to soul stone it up. And so even if we were like a very whatever thing, it's like, you're not getting our soul. You're not going to feed off us. Good luck. They've done a good job of insulating themselves from being nabbed by Slash, which they

bloody need to. Definitely. And to be fair, it was their fault. So... 100% it was there. It is a problem of their own making, for sure. The Imperial of Man, being built off the, like, ambitious ideal to unite all of humanity under one banner, that is, like, in lockstep with the desire to control the entirety of the galaxy uncontested.

Also, an impossible feat to accomplish. Like, we, as observers of the setting, can see this with a fair bit of confidence. The galaxy is just an endless war with races that exceed the Imperium in technology or in brute strength, but this is the furthest thing from Impossible as the drive to do so is perpetual. It's the hopes, the dreams, the schemes and the ambition that serves as a consistent source of food for Zinj. But in order to eat, it has to keep happening. It has to keep changing without defeating the desire to keep going. Zinj must love those silly little hopeful humans.

We're locked in. Humanity in the 40K universe is locked in. They can't stop fighting because that means they get overrun and wiped out. They can't expand because they are too busy fighting and trying to avoid being overrun and taken out. They constantly lose troops to chaos. And even when they aren't losing troops to chaos, the troops that they do have are having to constantly change the way they do things in order

to meet a bologillion threats. And all of it is just, oh, so much food. So much tasty, tasty food. Yeah. And honestly, just think of like all of the desire for change in just one hive city. Please build more hive cities. I like them a lot. Yes. I love them. Please. So the other three chaos gods, despite knowing that there can't be an end game, they all operate off the idea of an end game. Corn's desire for an endless blood-fueled war is paramount, and the debauchery of Sanesh begs for the galaxy to be striving for impossible perfection. Zinche's end game, however, is virtually non-existent,

at least as far as we know. It's stated everywhere that it is impossible to know Zinch, but despite this it's very in your face when you think about it. He can see all the potential futures of the galaxy and is aware of all possible ends, but there is one thing that's certain, which is that an end terminates all opportunities for hope and for drive. You can't have a tomorrow if everything stops today. So in order to keep up the good fight,

Zinche needs to make sure that that never happens. The desire and excitement for growth and change, and the desire to gain power needs to constantly and consistently happen. That's why he's the direct opposite of Nurgle. Nurgle is the acceptance of finality of this mortal coil and just taking it as easy on the straight and narrow as possible. Zinch is about evolving and changing past that, so he needs that constant churn.

That pitch is shocking. That is. That is Zingch after. winning the great game, 100%. I love it. Oh God. Solid movie, too. Oh, 100%. Now, Nurgel, as we discussed in an almost assured inevitability across the galaxy

due to the finality of life itself. His presence transcends the boundaries of most species due to being a universal constant. And the same can kind of be said regarding corn and senesh as well. Those three gods represent something a bit more primal. You've got violence, death and desire. Zinch, though, represents an actively dying concept in the galaxy, and he needs this concept to stay alive so that the other gods don't end the great game on him preemptively.

So Zinch, in a fairly real way, needs us a bit more than we need him. That gives a bit of an upper hand in the shark tank, or the objectively cooler title, Dragon's Den. Yeah. It is a cooler title. I'm sorry. I mean, it is.

No, you're right. You're not wrong. I don't like either show, but Dragon's Den sounds way better. But this is why... Dragon's Den is the name of a show? Yeah.

Yeah. So you guys have got a Shark Tank, which I'm pretty sure it's the same format where it's just a bunch of really rich people. Yeah, and then someone comes in and goes, I... Yeah,

I've invented a three-player, it's arseey car-based basketball game or something. It's how the scrub day. The scrub daddy. Yeah, I've created a new sponge or here's a table that you can sit upside down. Whatever mad invention it is or incredibly bland product where you go, there's a bigilene of these, why are you even here? In the UK, it's not Shark Tank, it's Dragons Den. And you have to go in...

It's a much cooler name, actually. It really is. You have to go and present your invention or your business to the Dragons. Yeah, and the dragons in is always full of treasure, so it even makes more sense on that level. Anyway, we're getting a little off topic. Zinche, eh? Zinche loves the fact that we get off topic, too. It's like, oh, the episode branched again.

Oh, ho ho. Zinche is eating good. They're off topic again. Love the AdRick podcast. I love it. We are responsible for his starter every week. Yeah, pretty much. But that's why, like,

Zinch has some really cool toys on offer for humanity if we choose to side with him. All the chaos gods have at least a few gifts that they can bestow on their followers. Corn's gifts are mostly based in brute force and weaponry. Nurgles, obviously, to do with spreading of disease, and slashes are subject to hentai pixelation. Siege on the other hand. Jesus Christ. Has some of the most interesting ones,

due to their direct tie-in to magic and spellcasting. And they better be because unlike fantasy, magic isn't the end-all-be-all when it comes to raw power. Followers of Zinche are blessed with his mark, and this mark bestows upon the wearer a tiny glimpse into the plans of Zinch himself, as well as enhanced psychic abilities and powers akin to that of a sorcerer. Obviously the power can vary from user to user, and some more basic humans will be lighter spellcasters,

while space marines that take the mark become chaos sorcerers that act as the chaos equivalent of a space marine librarian. But one of the more common gifts is the eye of Zinch, which is a third eye on the recipient's body or armor that gives them the power to see the future to an extent, giving them an upper hand in combat. Which, by the way, that's way cooler than most of the others. Oh, 100%.

Having literally an all-seeing eye, that's dope. You look at some of the stuff that you get from corn, and it's like, this guy's arm is now a buzzsaw. Cool, great. And then you get to Nurgle and you've got a second mouth in your gut that just keeps dribbling acids down your armour that presumably you have to keep repairing. Silesh, mostly, especially with the new Empress Children models, seems to give you a cone head and an addiction to drugs, which is fine. But for my money, none of those is as cool as being able to see. be the future. Yeah.

That's a nice one. That's a good one. And you get a cool eye somewhere, right? 100%. It looks way better than a big mouth in your gut. And it also means that, you know, you're not likely to accidentally decapitate yourself if you've got an itchy forehead

because your hand is now a chain sword. It's true. It's just better. Unless the eyeball gets put somewhere weird, like your belly button or, you know. You just get it over one of your normal eyes. Yeah. That's kind of lame.

He got one on his forehead, it was badass. It replaces like a nipple or something. It's like, what the fuck? I look weird, right? It's just, yeah. You got to take your armor off to be able to use it. You got to have nipple holes on like all your armor. It's like, why do you, why do you cut your arm?

It's like, it's the third eye, man. Come on. Jesus. And it's looking at you and it's disapproving. Yeah. There's also a more like optometrist friend. version of the eye, which is the destiny of Zinche, which gives the ability of the recipients to predict the moves of an adversary. You can also get breath fire. Oh, let's go. It's what it

does what it says on the tin. You get to breathe fire on people. Hell yeah. But the flames are strange and magically manipulated blue flames because it's Zinch. So it's objective. It's actually cooler than just breeding fire. I was going to say, well, I just find it so interesting that Magnus is like the primark, is the demon primark for Zinch. And it's like, man, of all the people that needed future sight really, really badly, boy, he really could have used that third eye.

Oh man, he really could have used Zinche's foresight to just be like, wow, I'm doing the wrong thing right now. Oh, Lee, I am not doing things the way they should be done. That's the delicious irony though, isn't it? That's the just-as-planned bullshit that makes Zeech so fun. That's that lovely Zines thing, yeah. Absolutely manipulated the shit out of Magnus for years and years and years. And then finally, finally Magnus gets turned into a winged freak.

Yeah. And it's like, oh, I was wrong this entire time. Tire time. Cool. Oh, yeah. Hooray, I fixed the flesh change. All it cost me was an eye. What do you mean I didn't fix the flesh change?

God damn it. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, it's just, it's so brutal. Like, you said you're reading the Thousand Sun's book. So much of that is Magnus being like, God, all these idiots need to just listen to me. Because I know what I'm talking about. And this lot of dumb and stupid.

And they're like, oh, oh, it seems bad. The warp's bad. It's not the warp. It's the great ocean. And I have swum in it and I know everything. And then it's like, dude, dude, you've got to, you've got to stop thinking so hard of yourself. You can't, for someone who is in tech, like, this is the thing that I always think with Magnus,

for someone so incredibly intelligent, he can be really fucking stupid. Mm-hmm. And it's interesting how often you see that with like just the really smart people that just they can see so far ahead, but they can't, like, they can't see the forest for the trees, right? And it's just, yes. What's that phrase? There's a, there's a phrase that something like a little bit of knowledge can be more dangerous than a lot or something like that. I forget, I forget what it is, but it's, it's that idea of like, knowing just enough to get yourself killed. Yeah. But not enough to save yourself if you end up in that position. It's just kind of like, I know about this. Yeah, but you don't know enough about it, do you?

Yeah, you know just a smidge about it. You don't know as much as you think you know, but it's like, yeah, that's one of those things where it's like, yeah, Zinch gave Magnus just enough rope. Yeah, yeah, 100%. Zingch's gifts, they also include some fairly powerful anti-psychore weaponry as well. There's the talisman of Zinch, which is an item that gives the wearer the ability to mentally control other psychers. It's hilarious. While the warp blade can cut through psychic energy that's blasted towards the holder, and a gift that makes you exceed most mortal psychers is being turned

into a warp smith, which allows the recipient to manipulate the warp as if they were innate from the warp in the first place. We'll go into some of his, it sounds solid, the warp smith. We'll go into some of his demon weapons that you might be lucky to get in a moment, but we need to talk a bit about his most ridiculous gifts first. One of his gifts called ecstatic duplication gives the bearer the ability to, upon death, split into two blue horrors that flee from the battle. And if those two blue horrors come back and re-entwine with one another, the user can be reformed, which is Cool. Incredible. What happens if one of the blue horrors gets, like, killed?

Is it just like, oh, well, that's game over? And, like, does a part of your soul exist in the other blue horror? I would guess you would just shit out of luck. Yeah, probably, probably. It's just, that's it. Okay. Yeah. Is it, oh, man, because I remember in Bolt Gunn, hating, not hating the horrors,

but it's like, doesn't a pink horror split off into two blue horrors also or something? I'm trying to remember which way around it is, but I think... Yeah. Is it a blue horror splits into pink... Or is it pink splits into blue splits into... Yeah, I can't remember which way it goes. Yeah, it's something like that. There's... I think there's three different versions, isn't it?

Oh, oh, Shai said a pink horse splits into two smaller blue horrors when its body is destroyed. Okay. What are the little ones then? Because I'm sure they were little tiny ones too, but I can't remember what they're called. Oh yeah, there are those tiny

little... Yeah, I thought those are just separate like flame demons or something. Oh, they might be. I might have,

I might have got mixed up. Although it'd be so zinche and I'd have like, it'd be so zinchean to have three separate branching off path depending on like if the pink one died or if the blue one died or if the yellow one died

or if the flame one died. That's so zinch. Yeah, there we go. So a dying horror splits into two blue horrors and a slain blue horror will split into a pair of brimstone horrors. Yep, that's so zinch.

That is just the perfect encapsulation of zinch in a dino. We did it. We killed it off. Fuck, all right, finally. We killed these other two. Oh,

for God's sakes, not again. Come on. It's perfect. Also, Shai says, those that tried to extinguish them, the brimstone horrors,

or stamped them out, are quickly surrounded, the brimstone horrors joining hands in an incandescent ring around them and singing, mocking songs as they turn their victims into blazing pillars of flames. Wow. That sucks. What a way to go.

Being mocked to death and by mocked also set on fire. Yeah, that's the rough. Yeah, that is just the perfect. That is like the perfect visual representation of Zinch. Yeah. Oh, I will say the, I don't know if it's the original sculpts for horrors, but there are some older scouts for horrors, which are, hands down, better than the ones we have now, because you can see horrors within the horrors, like, pulling the mouth open and trying to

emerge from them. Oh, nice. They look so good. Did anyone actually enjoy painting metal minis? Because that seems like a gigantic pain in the ass. Look, I will say, the worst move I've ever, like, pulled in my entire time. playing 40K, I one day decided to sell my necrons and use the money to buy sisters of battle. They were all metal.

Everything was metal. And I bought a lot of it. And I realized maybe three models in, this is not for me. Oh, no. This is awful. I hate this. It's the worst. I just don't enjoy it.

It, like, the castes weren't all that good. They were horrible to handle. They just weren't as easy as painting plastic. I could be, you know, maybe people who love it. But given the choice, hell no, plastic every time. This is such an appropriate Zinch episode. We've gone off topic so... I'm so sorry, shy.

This is how it has to be for a Zinch episode, right? It has to be this way. We are feeding him. We are indoctrinating people into Zinc. Zinj, this is what you expect from the God of change. It has to be this way. Got to throw in a bit of chaos. Yeah, exactly.

Keep coping. Listen, Shad, we're not the one that has to edit this. Anyway, Zingh, eh? Of the theories, I don't know that we're the ones necessarily you were going to be coping. But I will, let's talk about another thing that Zines gives you. So the other ones that you can give involve the ability to gain the very, body parts of some of his most notable champions. So you can be blessed with the hands of one of the horrors,

the arm of a flamer, or even the head of a lord of change. Oh, dear Lord. So you can be like Colonel Chestbridge from Danger Five. I, you got me on that one. To be fair. Danger Five is. I don't know.

No idea. To be fair, Parson has said, one person will get this and hopefully share the sensible chuckle gift from the show on the Discord. Oh, no. We found a reference that only one of us has got even the oblique, the oblique angle on it.

We haven't even got the full, okay. That's, I don't. Oh, that totally would be like getting the head of a Lord of Change, wouldn't it? Yeah. Yeah, especially the shotgun. Also, if you did get a Lord of Change head, do you think it would replace your head, or do you think it would be a second head that you got?

Because that's kind of the way Lords of Changes are. They're twin-headed, right? No, the Lord of Change. Oh, no, it's Chirox. Yes, it's Chirot. He's got the two heads. The Lord of Changes usually only got one, I believe. I was just remembering in Space Marine 2

because I just recently replayed the thing. When there's the big one, yeah, it's just the one head. Okay. I thought it'd be kind of cool if you had, like, a birdhead that, like, attached to, like, your shoulder. And it's like, wha-wh-w-ha. I mean, that would be cool. I definitely agree with that.

We already talked about warp blades, but Zinche has got like a massive arsenal of weapons that represent his grand plans on the field of battle. The most generalized weapon you can get from him is called a death screamer, insane name, which are weapons that can fire blasts of pure warp magic like bullet rounds.

Hardcore. They, you know, very inside. but the name just represents a more catch-all term as to oppose to it being like a unique type of gun. The same goes for the mutating warp blade. It's a blade that constantly changes inability with each use, which sounds cool but also sounds vastly irritating if you're actually trying to use it in a fight.

That sounds like an artifact that Lucius would love. I know Lucius is with Slinash, but with how much he gets off on like a sort, fight, I bet he would love having something like that that would constantly, like, test his abilities. Oh, yeah, maybe. I was thinking, like, the lack of consistent ability that comes with it would be really annoying. But for somebody who prides themselves on just being, like, the best swordsman no matter what, yeah, I can see that. I think that would just annoy me. I'd be like, oh, same. The thing that you gave me two fights ago is brilliant. Can I have that back? No? Cool. Okay.

well sure I guess I'll just put up with it in the hope that the next one is better than this whatever this does which I'm not really sure because it changes every time if you're a champion of Zinch that's probably like oh yeah this is exactly what I want because I have to evolve with the weapon otherwise I won't be able to use it I have to evolve to a great sword evolve to a short sword evolved to a copesh evolved to a chain whip sword thing that like Ivy has. Yeah, so that makes sense. I just love the idea.

I just love the idea of some random schmuck getting one. Not even a follower of Zinch. They just pick it up and they're like, what the fuck is this? It doesn't work properly. I don't understand. I don't need a chain with a hook on the end. I'm trying to have a fight with a dude

with a power fist. What are you doing to me? Please stop. Or the dude picks it up and it starts out as a little taggers. Like, oh yeah, I'll just put this under my pillow at night and he accidentally impales himself. like a great sword. Oh, God, I just slept with it under my pillow.

I thought it was such a good idea. A flaming great sword. Yeah, that's 3 a.m. The worst wake-up call ever. The this is fine gif, or the this is fine meme, yeah, but, oops, thanks Zeech. Speaking of which, and this wasn't planned, thousands of years ago, an astromilitaram flamer was taken, and a flamer of Zich was bound within it. Of course. All right.

This weapon is now known as I'm just going to copy paste this in. All right. I don't even know where to start with this. Kruzach. Kuzatchel? Yeah, I would say Krasatchel. Yeah. Something like that.

I don't know. That's a tough one. That's a very strange name where you got to evolve and just roll with the bunches and pray that you get it. Yeah. That's an absolute bullshit name. And it emits a colorful array of flames when used, which sounds delightful. However, instead of burning things, the flames relentlessly mutate anything they touch. Oh, lovely.

Just great. Wow. Truly the Zincheon weapon we needed. That's great, shy. IRL Zingian weapon. Zinch has some of them. It's great. I love the lax.

What you do with that? I don't even see the hammer. I would imagine the the little hammer is actually one of those things that you keep in your car to break glass in case like... The axe and the hammer makes pliers. Oh, wow, it does.

Genius. Hell yes. I want one now. Hell yeah. So Zinch also has some highly notable artifact weapons that need to be showcased due to their bizarre and seemingly overpowered nature. There's the

Evers dave, which is a staff that rees the holdering pink flames and gives the wield of the appearance that they are an endless torrent of pink fire. They are also able to launch pink fireballs at enemies with it, and this fire not only turns armour to ash, but mutates the flesh underneath. Oh, that sounds really dope. Oh, yeah. That does seem really op-to. It really does.

There's another staff called Paradox, which lives up to its name. everyone that looks on it sees a different weapon. Its true form is an ebon rod engulfed in dark flames. The wielder can use its abilities to be unpredictable to tame the unpredictability of the warp, essentially casting an Uno Reverse card onto warp disruptions. Wow, that's pretty dope too. Like, Zinche's got some really cool artifact weapons so far. 100%.

There's also Solbane, an incredibly crafted sword that inflicts no physical harm onto the person struck by it, sounds rubbish, but it passes through skin and armour with ease. And instead of cutting through the person's physical form, Solbane tears through the soul of the person it strikes, leaving the entity struck by it, screaming with agony as they collapse on the ground as their soul bleeds from their body. Oh, no. Wow. That is a hell of a sword.

Holy. That is rough. That is real rough. So you can't get into a duo with Soulbane because it's going to go right through your sword. It's going to go right through your armor. Although Soulbane also would be very dangerous for the user, right? Because if you're in a duel, right, and it's like the other guy gets the first strikes, oh, let me put up Soulbane to block it.

It's like, nope, because it'll go right through again, right? I'm assuming so. You've got to be real careful with that. Yeah, that is kind of a double-edged sword. That's reminding me of the swords from, what are they called? Are they oath weapons from the Brandon Sanderson series, the name of which I've forgotten? No, I've not read any of the Sanderson books. Stormlight Archive books, that's it.

There's these swords that a lot of the main characters have where they kind of operate like normal weapons, but they just seem to pass through, like, armor and flesh. and wherever they touch it goes all black and horrible and the person just dies as their soul leaves their body. It's hardcore. It's great. Damn. What a weapon. The last weird weapon, though.

The last one ties in perfectly with our next stop in the crystal labyrinth. It's another one of these. Co-coac? Co-oh-oh-oh. Oh, God. I, yeah, co-ac. Yeah, sure. Yeah, that is a name, I guess.

Yes. Of God's sake. Come on, Siege. Let's have something pronounceable. So, Cowork was once known as Coak the Boundless and was a demon of Zeich that was, for the lack of a better description, kind of a pain in the ass. It would just meddle in the affairs of the laws of change, and it got to the point where even Seinch got fed up

with the amount of bullshit that it was pulling. so as a means to stop it, Zinche bound Kowik to a sword. But the demon wouldn't be called boundless, if that were the case. Whenever the blade that Kowik is bound in strikes and adversary, Kowik is somehow able to whisk them away through some form of temporal anomaly. How Kowik is able to do anything like this while bound in a sword is completely unknown, but what is known is that whenever this happens, a new plume appears on the hilt of the blade.

That's great. Oh. So let me, so this is a sword that when you hit someone with it, they just get whisked away to just a random location that nobody knows about. And then a plume, like a flower, just appears on the hilt. I guess it would be a nice feather showing up on the hold of the blade. Every time you hit someone with it and they just disappear because the demon trapped in it is like, yoink. Mine and just just get rid. Yeah, I was like, does that mean it like teleports it to whatever little realm inside the sword that Koak is in?

And then maybe he eats them or something, but it sounds like they just kind of get joint to somewhere unknown to everyone. Although you kill enough people with that thing. Imagine it's sensible to Brazil. I guess it's possible. Also, do you think whatever unknowable place they all get sent to, they're all just kind of having a party now? And they're just like, oh, you got hit by Coak 2? Yeah, me too. That was like a thousand years ago.

But, you know, there's donuts and coffee at the table. We've made a little circle of chairs if you'd like to talk about it. And we're here for eternity. I love the idea that Coak's realm is actually some sort of retirement home. and it's just like look once you get over the shock it's actually kind of nice here it expands with every new person

so I mean there's literally thousands of us here because one person who had it was right wrong and but you know what we've got plenty of space there's good food and drink don't stay in the water too long or you'll mutate into a fish but not where you think and just you know relax just an actually quite nice place to hang out for the ultimate change, the ultimate twist, going from a war-torn night to that.

That may be the most British thing I think I've ever heard you say, oh yeah, it was the wrong in that one. I'm thinking about it. I think I've said someone is wrong-man more on this podcast than I've said anywhere else. I mean, considering the subject matter, that's right. It comes up a lot. There's a lot of wrong-ins, to be honest. Yeah, there's not a lot of writings in Warhammer, yeah.

Let's talk about demons. We've talked about Coak in the Sword, who was once a demon. There's other demons, obviously. They've got your Lord of Change, your classic Lord of Change, which is synonymous with Zinch, as we know him today. But the tone has gone through a few revisions. The seemingly stoic and at times deeply confused bird monstrosity we know now is more bizarre than you would imagine. The Lord of Change is so deep within the essence of Zinche that the idea of it having some form of physical form bothers it. But it's less about their physical appearance being bizarre and more about their attitude, which I've got another quote for you here. Let's go. It is a playful and wreckful mind that lies behind the bird-like gaze of the Lord of Change, deeply intelligent yet as uncaring of consequences as it is fascinated. by it. The Lord of Change is like a child playing upon some gigantic ant-hill, poking it with a stick as it's in, at poking with a stick at its inhabitants and laughing at the hopeless antics of their defiance. Yeesh. That makes them more scary for my money. Yeah, I think that does, that they're like

cosmic children that are just like, ha, ha, I'm squeezing bugs. Is like, yeah, that's kind of terrifying. God. Yeah, if they were like cold, if they were cold calculating bastards, it would be like, oh, wow, that's, that's scary. They're just, they're just going, if I, if I poke this town hard enough, something fun might happen. Yeah. Let's see. Let's poke it. Let's poke it a bit more.

Oh, they don't like being poked. I'm going to poke them again. Like, that's way worse somehow. God, you're, what a dick. What a dick. Lord of change. Nature's asshole, apparently. Yep.

100%. Sheesh. They are known for being like blue and yellow in their plumage, but they can change that whenever they want to because they don't find consistency to be essential to their existence. They are described as master tacticians, but that is a bit unfair. It's pretty easy to be a master tactician if you have an understanding of what's going to happen in the first place. When you can see the future, yeah.

Yeah, but sometimes a lord of change will disregard their foresight in favor of embracing the ideas of chance and fortune that feed their masters. So I like the idea that they can look at what's going to happen and then just go, yeah, not going to do that. Yeah. We'll do something else. That's kind of cool that like they can see the future, but because like being under zinch and being like a zinch demon, they really like the idea of just change and random chances. No, I could see the future. I'm just going to roll the dice. It might end up bad for me, might end up worse.

I don't really care. I really like the idea that I don't know. And, hey, random chance be damned. Also, shy said, oh, they hate consistency. Maybe they write for G-W. Chef's kiss. Just great. Hell yeah.

Oh, dear. We've also got the horrors, obviously. So we've got two distinct horrors. We've got the pink horror and the blue horror. I do like this little quote. The blue horror is almost identical to the pink horror, but it's blue rather than pink, and its temperament is different. It's just like cool.

So it's such a good representation of Zinche, because it's just like it is, but it isn't. It's the same, but it's not. Yeah. And it's just, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm. Shai said, I don't know if that's in the script, but Lords of Change basically are like, you can only kill me if it's part of Zinche's plan, so get fucked.

Really? It's not, but that is worth noting. Honestly, I guess that's the way it is with everything in Zingch, if you managed to get to like, oh, God, you stabbed me. Jokes on you, asshole, this was all part of the plant. And it's like, okay, whatever, I still killed you, dude. Like, it makes it again, it feels like a spider.

for child behavior. Yeah, does. It's like, yeah, I mean, you think you won, but only because I wanted you to. I was like, just take the L. Stop it. Just let me have this. Come on. Instead, it's like, nah, no, no, no.

I wanted this. Otherwise, you wouldn't have got to do it. It really is just as planned, isn't it? It's just no matter what you do. No matter what you do, all part of the plan, whether you like it or not. All according to Kit Kaku. So, yeah, we've got the horrors as well, which we have talked about, talked about a little bit, but that that quote is excellent.

Just that blue horrors, almost identical to pink horrors, but it's blue rather than pink, and its temperament is different. So the book, the realm of chaos book, is literally just saying, they're almost identical except for the fact that they're not. So, again,

cool. Perfect. Perfect way to describe Zinche stuff. Love it. Yeah. They are, to be fair, actually quite different.

Like, the pink horrors are known as squealers or screamers due to their more rambunctious and almost frantic appearance on the battlefield, the blue horrors are the opposite. They wear a perpetual scowl, they're in a terrible mood all the time, and they would rather be doing anything else. And instead of howling and screaming, they tend to just wander around and grumble to themselves.

But when you anger them enough, they burst into a range and just become absolutely relentless. They are just whiny grumblers, basically. Oh, so what you're saying is they're the same, but not. Got it. Yep. Yep. The blue ones only appear after a pink one is killed in battle.

So like we said before, they split into a couple of them and then they split down again. And then again into the brimstone demons. Yep. Yep. So the difference, like the difference, it does extend into how they fight as well. Like they're both made out of pure magic, but one tends to use actual. magic more than the other. And as you probably guessed, it isn't the blue horror.

The blue horrors will go up to an enemy and grab them with their massive hands and beat them to death. Meanwhile, the pink ones sprint around and shoot off spells like they're a weaponized Roman candle. Lovely. We can't talk about blue horrors without the mention of Petarix and Zirapt. I've got to show you these, just so you can appreciate that it's yet more Zinch bullshit. Oh man, I've never seen a faction love that apostrophe quite as much as Zee.

I absolutely can't get enough of it. Also, the fact that it's just the same name but backwards is really tickling me. I like that. Oh, man, until you said that, I didn't even notice it, but oh, that is great, actually. I do quite love that. Yeah, Zich brought to you by the apostrophe. Yeah. God.

These guys are known as the Blue Scribes. So they were created by Zinch after a near fatal conflict with the other chaos gods. And during that conflict, most of what Zinch created and wrote was scattered throughout space and time after he destroyed his own staff as a sign of surrender. These two guys were given the near impossible task to go through the folds of reality and all possible dimensions. Now, wow. We've got another one. Now you may be asking yourself,

Kiryoth, you lion-hearted nobleman. He's something. It keeps getting better. They get more extreme every time. Why did Zinch select these two creatures to complete this task and not say a lord of change? Well, it's because they are dumb, they can't read well, and they constantly fight with each other. He can't trust them with this knowledge because they have no idea what's going on and never will. If they ever complete their impossible mission, Zinch will become quite literally unstoppable.

All right, cool. An active work of self-sabotage by getting two idiots to do this thing that would make you unstoppable. It's just so, oh dear. If they ever do it, they'll become unstoppable, but don't worry, they'll never do it because they're a literate moron. Yeah. Great. Also, I am the one who sent them to do it, the person who could become unstoppable. That's such a zinged things to do.

Like you said, the ultimate self-sabotized just for the lulls and just for like, yeah, this seems like it'd be a bullshit thing to do. Wow. I do love that art, yeah, the book on the head is so good. Like the Blue Horde just be like, this is how books work, right? Donk. It also functions as a hat. Please just write down what's in it. Please.

Oh, no. We also have flamers and discs as well. So like the horrors, the Flamers of Zinche made out of pure magic, but they're weird. They travel on the ground as what's described as a soft skirt of pinkish flesh like an inverted mushroom. Ew. I'm 100% with you. I had the same reaction just now as I did when I first read that yesterday.

And I immediately just was like, oh, God. And I was expecting to not get that this time, but I got it anyway. I was just like, bleh. I mean, there's grosser stuff in Warhammer, but just the thought of like skirting around on an inverted mushroom. It's the soft skirt of pinkish flesh by itself is. just gross and I don't really know why it's gross but it is gross. Yeah, it is. It's very body horror adjacent. It feels like. Yeah, not a fan. This strange skirt-like body rises up to

two tube-like arms which acts as flame throwers for this creature and it's unable to act on its own. Its thoughts and actions are dominated by the Lord of Change that's closest to them. So they are basically just an instrument of war for their demon masters. Funnily enough, the fire is not regular fire. It's weird magic fire that causes mutations and manipulations within reality, because Zinch. Yeah, I was going to say that's about par for the course today. Yeah, it makes sense to me.

Yeah, the discs of Zinch are also known as the steeds of Zich, and in the imitarium these discs are strange wisps of smoke with eyes, but as soon as they face it, into the real world, they turn into menacing, toothy, horseshoe crab-like demons. Some of them look natural and fish-like, while others look more metallic and plate-like. Regardless, they are predatory, and they move through the air with unreasonable speed to tear apart their prey. I've never seen one that looked fish-like. Like, I've seen the metallic ones.

I don't think I've ever seen one that looked like fish-like. These are the discs that they, like, stand on, right? And they just kind of hover around on and, yeah, I don't think. think I've ever seen one that looked fished like, although I think the only time I've, I think for the most part, games workshop sticks with the discs, but the blue scribes looking at it, they seem to be riding like a, like a Manta ray style disc. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the pizza one we saw that shy. Yeah, and then pizza one from earlier. Mm-hmm. In, I know, in, you know, in, you know, in, you know, in, the Zangor shamans that are riding round, but they're on the, you know, the,

They're on the metallic ones with their garbage attack that I can never dodge, no matter what I do, where they fling the disc at you. Yeah, and I think it's because, like, I've really only ever built Thousand Suns, and they're always on the metallic one. They really don't have the, I feel like you'd have to get, like, the specific zinch demons to really see, like, the fish-looking ones like that. But yeah, oh, my God, that art of the disc looks so good with, like, the trail of, like, orange screaming souls coming out of it. golly. That is so good. I love the, I love the, like the design, a lot of the zing stuff. Mm-hmm.

It's, it's proper creepy, just creepy weirdness. Mm-hmm. We also have the demons that begin with the. So there's two of the demons of note that would be great to go over, but they don't really fit the mould of any of the previously mentioned entities and seem to be a bit more standalone, hooded menaces. So the first is known as the Reckoner, a being who has only shown up once, but clearly has immense power.

So I'm going to once again give you a bit of reading. All right. It took another two hours of walking before the Thousand Suns finally approached The Reckoner. In that time, he had not moved so much as a muscle, and Aramon took the opportunity to study him and the inconsistent streamers of Aether Light that clung to him, him like corpusent. He had great power, that much was clear, but he was of mortal scale, hunched over in pale blue robe, was threaded with gold symbols of mystic significance.

No face was visible beneath his hood, only the vague suggestion of deathless blackness and a pair of hollow eyes. In one hand, he held a long staff, topped with a beaked skull wound, with boiled leather and packed with sickly fragrances like the plague doctors of old earth. His other arm was hidden within many folds of fabric, suggestive of proportions they were insidiously wrong, as if unnatural anatomy lurked just beneath. He sounds like a freaky boy. Sounds badass. What a great description.

That's really cool. Also, that art of miscreate, that Eldari is getting absolutely truck. He's getting rinsed. Look at him. No chance. He's in the spin cycle for sure. Sheesh. So the Reckoner is able to take souls to specific points in time down a river of memories that runs through his domain.

What a sentence. But there's a price for this. Those who wish to go through these memories must re-experience their most painful memories as the Reckoner drowns them in the river. As they gasp for air, they find. find themselves back in time in their intended destination. And he was used by the Thousand Suns to find the location of one of Magnus's shards. He, like, I really like his artwork.

Like, his design is very cool. It's also not a million miles away from the other demon that we need to talk about, which we're going to close out the episode by talking about the absolute menace that is the changeling. Though briefly mentioned before, the things the changeling has done are, absolute nonsense, but in the best way. Okay. The changeling is the most accomplished trickster in Zinche's repertoire, so much so that it is the

pure embodiment of his deceptive nature. He is, as you can imagine, a master at form changing and can change into literally anything you can imagine with unfailing precision. When not in a transformed state, he looks nearly identical to the Reckoner. His model is fantastic, by the way, would recommend. look at that oh so good wow that's the changeling oh that's so good that's great oh man the the something about a figure that is in a cool robed hooded form you cannot see their face it is just completely shrouded like that is just like oh it's always so aesthetically so

cool it's it's great it's one of my favorite miniatures games workshops ever done that it's just Also, you can roll the changeling in the tabletop? Yeah. That must be a great mini. I know you can have him in AOS. I don't think, I don't know if you can have him as part of a Thousand Sun's army. I actually don't know. But yeah, he's available.

You can use him. Hell yeah. Bad ass. So due to his nature, he is utterly restless and constantly roams the galaxy and the depths of the warp itself just to cause as much mischief as possible. So here's a bunch of things he's done of no in the 40K setting Because he exists in the exact same capacity in fantasy And has done some similarly outrageous stuff So I guess then you can use him in 40K

So he disguised himself as a grot And modified war boss Git Smashers' favorite mega shooter In a way that caused it to backfire And wipe out Getsmasher and his entire horde Well yeah that tracks This one. Oh my God. He disguised himself as a keeper of secrets

who provided an imperial commander who was under siege from the Dark Angels a powerful artifact that would put an end to the siege in exchange for the souls of his daughters. The powerful artifact ended up being a teleport homer for the Raven Ring so the Dark Angels were able to put an end to the siege. Okay, well, you know, that's okay, all right. Absolute double crossing lunacy

Yeah, crazy He disguised himself as a Sle-Shi demon And was able to sneak into Sle-Shael-esh's lair And cut off the dark prince's hair With a hellblade Wow I know, it's mental He also disguised himself as a corn demon

And made his way to the skull throne And put three nurglings on the throne Creating a hideous noise And an unholy mess the next time corn sat down. That's such a weird thing to do. That is like the demon equivalent of going up to the skull thrown and just being, I'm going to put a wippy cushion on this thing.

He's going to be so mad. And like, wow, you're so petty, dude. What the hell? The power to disguise yourself is something so clearly and so well that you can sneak into Solanash's lair and sneak. all the way up to the school throne. And in both cases, all you do is just mildly fuck with them. It's just like, what is this use of your power?

What are you doing? And the answer is, having a laugh. It's just enjoying himself. It's just, you know, out here living his best life. What else is he going to do to them? Right? Because it's like, that's kind of all you can do to like corn or slenish. It's just mildly, you know, play pranks on them.

Because if you're just like, oh yeah, I'm going to review, ha ha, I'm the changeling. I've made it all the way here. It's like, oh, right, you're a chaos. It's such an insane risk, though. Yeah, it is insane. It's also kind of crazy that the changeling managed to be in Slenesh's presence without immediately just falling head over heels. Because that's slenish's thing, right? If you ever are in their presence, it's like immediately just like, oh, enrapturement.

Oh, my God, of course, I'll serve you. Of course, of course. and you start thirsting for she who thirsts, right? He's just too dedicated to his eternal, what, eternal drive to just shitster. He was put here for one purpose, and that was to mess around and spoil other people's days, and nothing can deter from that. What a Chad. What an absolute legend.

What a fitting note to go out on for Zinche, just at five. with other people for no reason other than just kind of felt like it really. Tits are temporary, memes are forever. Hell yeah.