Adulting - #2 The Podmother | Millennial meets Baby Boomer

Episode Date: March 25, 2018

In this episode I interview (chat to) my mum (Olive) about her journey to adulthood and the juxtaposition of our generations. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600. Or visit connectsontario.ca. Select games only. Guarantee void if platform or game outages occur. Guarantee requires play by at least one customer until jackpot is awarded or 11 p.m. Eastern. Restrictions apply. See full terms at canada.casino.fandu.com. Please play responsibly. Hello and welcome to my podcast, Adulting, where I discuss what it means to be an adult in this day and age, or perhaps to not be an adult, as it seems that none of us really have any clue what's going on, whether you're 16, 18, 24, 35. And in this episode, I interview my mum, who is probably one of my most favourite people, which I think you'll understand why by the end of this episode. I found it really interesting to hear how she grew up and what her kind of life trajectory was,

because it's so differing from what I've experienced. And in some ways, I feel it's kind of made me realize, I obviously realize how lucky I am to have a lot of the opportunities that I have, especially as a woman. But in also understanding how maybe the way that the world's changed for the better, and these positive changes might actually be the crux or the reason for us finding it a bit more difficult to find our feet as an adult i'm just gonna let you go straight into this episode because i just think it's fantastic but i might be biased because it is my mum but i hope you enjoy it and i can't wait to hear your feedback here goes hi mum hello so do you want to get a bit narrow? Okay. Okay. So do you want to introduce yourself? Okay.

Yes. My name's Olive May. How old are you? I'm about to be 60. No, no. I'm 59 and 10 months. That's great. Thanks.

Okay. So obviously this podcast is called Adulting and it's all about that weird stage in your twenties or whenever when you don't really know what's going on with life. So obviously we've grown up in slightly different generations. I know. Even if we are BFFs. So when did you think you first felt like you were an adult? Well, that's difficult because I always think now when I think back,

I used to think, gosh, I think I might have been an adult when I was two. I know that sounds really silly because I have great memories not laughing actually maybe three of um I used to sweep the floor I don't think you did that too you shot maybe like five no no no I was little because I only had um the one brother and I now have three brothers at the time obviously the other two were not born so um yes when I was very young and then as I got older I always used to take responsibility for my brothers one was older and two were younger but I always wanted to wash their football boots which were leather which were hand scrubbed by moi and also wash my dad's

shirts and scrub this arms and the collars isn't that a weird thing to do when you're a little but then I think as I got older I noticed that I probably wasn't I think when I went to school I suddenly wasn't very mature so do you think that you felt like an adult in terms of you had loads of adult responsibilities yeah no because I wanted I felt I had to do things in the home I think that's just me I like tidying up perhaps but I think that's also play I'd rather do that than go playing going out and play do you think that's because gaggy and granny had to work all the time yes they did work hard, yes. My mum was a nurse and did night shifts,

and my dad worked long and late shifts. So whether we were on our own a lot, I don't know. Maybe I used to do the housework. So do you think you had to grow up quicker than I'd had to? Yes, in a funny way, yes, because I sort of had to get... As soon as I was old enough, my mum said, you have to get a Saturday job. I didn't do a paper round, because my brothers did those, but I got a Saturday job very early.

And I got a job in a chip shop, which I loved, because the only thing I liked in there was the crackling. So I thought I could eat it all. Is it called crackling? Yeah, that's right. The leftover bits. Yeah, called crackling. And we used to serve it in a bag.

But I thought I could be in the chip shop eating the crackling. But obviously not. I had to serve the fish and chips. So that didn't work out. No, they didn't notice. I still ate the crackling and served fish and chips. was really good polite quick and all those things all of the above do you think you had a better understanding of like monetary responsibility like with that money that you earned what would you buy with it would it be things for you or would that have to go

towards the family no no it was for me but it wasn't that much there was only enough to probably buy a magazine in those days called Jackie and I can't remember how much it was it was like two and six you know it was the odd decibel money in the older days and that's all I had it was I wouldn't earn more than a pound or one pound fifty what was Jackie about it was about it's sort of like girls girly things but it was for young girls it was not like the magazines not like cosmopolitan no no gosh no like girl talk what I used to get when I was or smash or miss do you remember yeah younger than. It was more like a Beano. It was more like a comic, but for girls. And it wasn't even as sophisticated as Beano or Dad, which is a bit weird.

But I loved it because you always got a free thing on the front. When was that whole thing? I actually don't even know. I shouldn't have brought this up. But you know the banks and they gave out all the loans and stuff? That was when you and Dad were younger. Oh, yeah. That was in the 80s.

So you were the years when you thought everyone could have it, all kind of things. So you had a very different, i grew up the baby boom at time yeah age group we would thought that we could have everything because you guys had been it was easier then because everyone that was young in those days if you had a reasonably good job or you're not a big enough income you you knew you could get three or four times your salary which is really still legal these days then to get a mortgage so then moving up to that age so when you and dad first thought about buying a house you felt quite easily you could comfortably kind of get somewhere yes yeah definitely then I got married quite young I

was 21 2021 and then when we bought our flat I was still coming up to 22 and it was like my home I had a home to whole home to myself to run did you feel because right now I'm obviously 24 and I feel like you would have felt older than I feel does that make sense oh yeah i think i was more i used to do everything all the washing all the shopping i still do my washing i know it's not quite in the same vein i don't think yeah but mom literally just to caveat this mom is the like the best washer you've ever everything is whiter than white i still actually don't understand how you keep your white so white i still haven't learned Okay. She's making such a proud face. I know.

B-L-E-A-C-H. Bleach. But no, be careful. You can't bleach white. You bleach our clothes. No, no. I use the odd spray on a stain. But is that clothes bleach?

You've got to bleach urgently. You have to put it on and then take it off. But it's meant for clothes, not like toilet bleach. No, no, it's not meant for clothes. Oh. Bleach spray. But you've got to be really careful doesn't that make things go yellow no you could be quick okay i think i'll leave that to you technique yeah no i think yes we

were definitely older so even though i might have been 21 22 i think i was more not mature i didn't know much about world you're more worldly wise than i was yeah i was more homely sort of like i could hold i did my nursing job, and I'd come home and have the flat all organised and do all the shopping, all that sort of thing. But I didn't know anything about... You were more, like, domesticated. Yes.

For example, there was no internet, no phones, nothing like that, no telephones. So if you wanted something, you'd have to go and look it up in the library. And there was phone boxes. I used to love phone boxes. What would you do in a phone box? Phone somebody.

What? No, no. Oh, what? No, no. Oh, do you? No, I can't even remember the number now. Oh, do you remember when I used to ring in a phone box and do the reverse number and used to charge you loads of money because I never had any money?

No, no, I think you could ring free and if you had to dial 999, you'd have to go into a phone box. Oh, yeah, that's so long. Did you ever have to do that? No, not really. Oh, that's good. Okay, so what I want to get an idea of I think our

generation like the millennial generation we all well we've adulting is like a word that we all use really commonly but it wasn't really a word before and the word in itself is quite childish isn't it like makes no but I think although you call it adulting I think in a funny way you are more adult adulty than I was but it it's just different. I did things different. I think I could do more things, like, I don't know. Yeah, you're more practical. Whereas you could look stuff up. If you want to know something, you look it up.

You're instantly, you know where to go, how to access stuff. You seem to know, when I say things to you, you instantly know the answer. I'm thinking, why don't I know? But that isn't necessarily being knowledgeable. It's just knowing how to use technology, probably. Maybe. So this is another question I want to ask.

So right now, obviously I have, you don't think I really have a job, do you? I keep thinking. I know you have a job. But like for me, it's, there's so many things I could do. I don't, you know, when people ask you that, what do you want to be when you grow up? Yeah. When you were little, did you know the answer to that question? No, not when I was tiny, tiny no but I knew because I was

innately always a carer type of person yeah and I always used to want to help old people I always had this thing about old people and helping them out so when I was at school I used to go into a I don't know why into a hospital and help people nothing scared me I wasn't bothered about people being sick or whatever so I thought then after a year after I left school I thought I should go be a nurse really and then that you loved nursing didn't you yeah so for you that was quite straightforward you just thought I'm going to be a nurse and you did it and you loved it yeah I think the weird thing about our my generation is that no one seems to know what to do and even when you get a job no one's that happy in it yeah so yeah I know because I think my mum was a nurse yeah so I thought I naturally often people do follow don't they but I think my mum was a nurse. So I thought, naturally, often people do follow, don't they? But I think if she wasn't a nurse, I might not have known or gone for it.

Maybe, I don't know. Because the other weird thing is I guess now, with more equal opportunity for men and women, there's almost so much more choice for things that we want to do. And I also think, because think about how much longer everyone's living, I think that's why we feel like we're younger. Because you started almost your adult life much younger than I did in some ways.

Oh, yes, because people, I didn't, although we had children, but I was 29 by the time I had my first baby. So we didn't have children for the first eight years. That's actually quite a good age, isn't it? Yeah. So, because I was busy working and faffing about, shopping mostly, which I loved. All our generation are really, like,

no one wants to almost get into that final job yet everyone wants to travel before they do it or everyone's really this is the whole concept like everyone's putting off that that's why I keep saying to girls go to like Tiffany's in Australia which is really sad but it's my big sister yeah but if you went I'd say no go I wouldn't say I would miss you obviously god there'd be less washing but you literally come up and take my washing you have to force it I know but I can't it's easier if i do it's just easy because things last longer if i wash things no but i think you should do it because i'd love to have done that but i don't think i would have done it in my age because i don't think in that funny sort of way

i wouldn't have been yeah mind you no i think you've got a lot of nails about you no no because i did we worked i worked in saudi arabia friend went off to, if I wasn't married, I was desperate to go and work for the king in Riyadh and never did. And I was thinking, God, I could have got a Rolex there, but never mind. Oh my God. Can you tell us a story about that guy that we,

did he weed on you? No, he weed on the floor. To mark his territory? Yeah, but he was like one of the princes. I'm not sure, I don't think he was the king. Not an English prince, by the way. No, he was Arab. Yeah, just to clarify.

And I wasn't having that, you see. see i wasn't a lot of people were slightly not subservient to them but in awe of them but i thought well no sorry that doesn't matter what his you know obviously they treated women funnily but all the arabs like me because i was trying to talk to them and i tell him off and i'd go la la la which meant no no no in arabic it's actually no it means no yeah and they look at me horrified his bodyguards look at me and i'm going no and i'd say la la la and then i said i'm trying to give him a bath and i can't i used to say i can't remember what bath is now and he didn't want to bath because he didn't want to take his clothes off and obviously being female male that was horrendous for him so i said don't worry we'll have a bath with your clothes with your robes

on so i took him into the bathroom and sat him in this big hoist thing and just shoved him in the bar you don't think you're a feminist do you but that's you don't like the word or do you think you're a feminist no I think I am not outwardly yeah I am in certain you are because the way that you act you're very like you want everything to be equal between people oh yes yes I don't yeah I don't like things that aren't sort of fair yeah and I think no but I think I was always as a youngster but you're quite outspoken aren't you I used to talk to anybody and everybody it didn't bother me but some people will not they're shy away but I could speak to a stranger it doesn't matter who they are yeah whatever I go hi how are you doing actually I must tell you another story this is so funny

in my day in Tooting Broadway when mum used to take me to school um it's quite funny there were in those days there were lots of streakers, I don't know what it was about men flashing or flashing streakers you know that's actually sexual harassment but carry on no I thought it was funny mum used to say to me there was this chap in a beige coat, he often used to do it he's obviously dead now because he's quite elderly

and he used to just come up in front of me and just open his coat and my mum being an Irish woman would just tell him to bog her off a worse word than that. What would she say? You dirt in the accent. Fuck off. Fuck off. Yeah, but with an E. You can. And all that. And don't look. And I sort of said well, it's too late, I've looked. But anyway, it was so

boring. I didn't think that that, oh my god, I've been shocked for the rest of my life. I wasn't scarred by that. I just thought it was funny. I remember it so well but it never... How old were you? Again, I was at primary school so I wouldn't... But what would you do if that happened to me when I was with you I probably hit the person sorry no no but I wouldn't but you know I mean at the time you thought it was funny but granny obviously wouldn't have thought it was funny no yeah but granny didn't yeah she wouldn't have I wouldn't have hit him actually

but I would have probably I don't know people don't do that now they do worse things than that don't they yeah well I think everything happens isn't it yeah so do you think when you were growing up what did you define as successful like if you would say when you're like maybe 15 16 and you thought of a woman who thought was successful would you think like when you look forward to your future did you imagine yourself like being a mum with children yes probably but I didn't think of women as doctor working as doctors which is weird isn't it I only I thought of nursing because I was it's all i sort of knew really or lawyers i never thought no been a lawyer a solicitor doctor anything like that so but all my brother's friends though funny enough they they did all that and they were a lot of them all the barristers yeah and did that sort of thing

a lot of them went to uni but um did you ever think that you could go to uni never even occurred to me no didn't, probably never thought. Because in those days, in your school books and stuff, I bet it would just have been, like, girls would have been nurses or carers and the men would have had those jobs. That's mad, isn't it, that it's changed so much? I think it might have been different if I'd gone to a slightly different school. I did go to an all-girls Catholic school run by nuns.

They were lovely. Do you think that changed the way that you grew up? Probably, yes. I think we were very cosseted and sort of it was all about religion. I used to go to church every Sunday. Had to. Did you like it though? Yeah, it was quite a social thing.

I used to go and just laugh. No, not really. I wasn't like that. I shouldn't say that. Cheers. I know I knew all the prayers. I was so good. I can't sing, so I never did sing.

I mimed the whole way through. But I'd go every Sunday because I knew mum would say, if you didn't go to church, you can't do whatever whatever so I want to go back to that point that you were saying because I think it's so interesting that when you're at school you never realized that you could be these careers which were really gendered as male careers oh gosh yeah yeah if now you were at school and you were like brought up my age and you could have those opportunities and you did imagine did you know any male doctors when you're a female doctors when you're a nurse no didn't know anyone really it was all men oh no when i was a nurse yeah yeah oh yes yes

but then i wouldn't think that i could do that job then and maybe not now because i'm not i don't like to study it's too much like hard work but same no no to me i've always got better things to do like washing or making a pot of tea but the point is if i was studious a bit like your middle sister emily who just studied night and day and i don't know how people do that i could have done it yes but there were female doctors but i used to think that was quite alien i just think they were a different type of person yeah like nurses were nurses that was their little compartment and the doctors were in another compartment but in those days don't forget all the male doctors it was very they were it was just amazing they'd have

their three-piece suits and their gold chains hangers and you'd almost like bow to them well i didn't actually but this is really bad actually i wonder what this is kind of like what we're talking about in um power powerful men and stuff like with weinstein you told me that story about that doctor what was it the old doctor the surgeon yeah um yeah i won't say his name he would have died a long time ago but he worked i worked with him across two hospitals so i think i was doing a cardiothoracic course at the brompton hospital and then when i did that i left and went to the cromwell i thought that was too much of hard work and i'd go and work at the cromwell which i loved private hospital rena, while I was at the Brompton, I came across this surgeon.

He was very tall, quite elegant, but he was quite drooly, so he had very pocked skin. I think he must have drunk a lot, but he always had a gold chain, a three-piece suit with a waistcoat and all that sort of thing. And he used to come up to me and sort of make little lewd suggestions. Shall I say it? Yeah. He used to say, do you want a quick a qlo and i used to think

what the hell's a qlo that's really weird and i said no sorry mr whatever your name has been a surgeon he was a mister uh and he'd say a quick leg over and i thought oh my goodness i can't say that that's really rude and i said so to me i didn't think oh god this is like harassment or sexual abuse i said to him no no but i'd much prefer a qcot and he said huh and i said a quick cup of tea that is so good because i thought well why because i wasn't actually harassed by it because i just thought he was like dribbling not dribbling but he's spitting but that's what's so interesting is that our perspective is those things in life like we very much for forever have believed that that's just part and parcel of

being a woman but really it is actually sexual i know that you didn't see it like that no but it's so crazy that in this amount of time we've realized that these things happen all over the place because to you it might just been a qlo no no but he did this for a long time he was always saying to me i think because i was quite chatty and obviously being a young nurse and i used to chat away and then one day i did say to him look i don't i got cross I said you can't really say that I don't really like it's a bit rude or whatever and he he took umbrage as my mom would say and he wouldn't talk to me and then when I went to the Cromwell I was oh no it was at the Brompton I was in the intensive care and he tied my dress to the chair which was a bit weird I know because it had a belt at the

back in the bow or not and he undid it while he was seeing the patient, undid the belt and tied it to the chair. And I remember thinking, Mr. Uh-uh-uh-uh, whatever your name is, you can't do that. Well, if you don't, but I obviously was phasing forward and I had to get somebody to undo me. No, the patient was unconscious in terms of care. They were not very well. Oh, right, yeah. And he thought that was funny. And I thought, gosh, he must have been in late 60s then.

Then I met him at the Cromwell and he sort of recognised me and thought, oh, my God, that's her. And he was actually better. He didn't really do that. And he used to say to me... Maybe you got told off. No, you wouldn't know. That's the other thing. I would never go to anybody above me and say, this person said this to me.

Really? What if he said something worse? No, because he'd deny it and they'd believe him. So you just feel like you had no reason to say anything? No, I wouldn't have said it. It never even occurred to me to tell anyone. That's so bad. It's really like what's going on because you just feel like you had no reason to say anything? No, I wouldn't have said anything. It never even occurred to me to tell anyone. That's so bad. It's really like what's going on because you just think you don't have a way out. If I did, though, the hospital,

both hospitals, I think, would have taken his side. They would have covered it up. Because he would have said, oh, silly woman, silly young girl, what's she talking about? Because he was so powerful. He was power. And at the Cromwell, he brought in so much money.

So did you feel like, as a woman growing up in your generation, that a lot of things just you were kind of silenced over because there wasn't even any point in you yeah I think so I wasn't I mean I used to say I wasn't a wallflower I'd always speak up but yeah I suppose I should have said something but no I didn't no you should have just women didn't feel like they had as much autonomy you used to tell me this is my favorite thing she'd be like if you ever got on your own just take your pepper spray and a hat pin.

Mum, pepper spray is not even legal for one. No, no, not in those days. No, you get a hat pin. No, but you did used to have this. When I was little and I first started going out, you'd try to give me a hat pin, and you'd be like, stick it where it hurts. And I was like, mum, can't do that. Of course you do, nobody will know.

No, you go for it. And also, you walk in the middle of the road, and then you shite fire, shite, shout fire. You shite fire. You shit fire, yeah. Well, no, sorry. But I think also, I think nowadays you're aware of this, like sexual abuse or whatever it is, all that sort of stuff.

Whereas in my day, it wasn't known as that. No one spoke about it. I didn't know that's what that would have been called. No. And people spoke to you like that. It wasn't because I didn't think it was abnormal. I knew it wasn't right, but I thought, well... But you just think that's normal.

Yeah, I dealt with stuff as it came along I mean I used to stand up for my brothers not my older brother but the little ones going to school I'd hold their hands and if anyone used to fight with them I used to fight with them too what's you good at fighting very good I don't think I've ever properly learned how to fight I'm just cleaning the table there's a really irritating mark in there one sec and you so when did you think you would be an adult like when you were I'm just cleaning the table. There's a really irritating mark on my face. One sec. So when did you think you would be an adult? Like when you were younger, would you be like 18, 21? Yeah, no.

I think probably when you get married, you sort of think, oh goodness, I'm an adult. I seemed old. If I'd known then that I didn't have to get married so young, I probably shouldn't have got married so young. Because you feel like you could have done more. Yeah, I would have done more. I would have done something else and I wouldn't have had the

girls but I would have had a different life but it's weird once you get married I think you settle into that role yeah so I then didn't look for anything else I think other people did but that was just me I think and when we were growing up when did you think so obviously I got told a sister Tiffany is 30 and Emily's almost 29 now as we got older do you keep thinking we're really young because I remember thinking Tiffany was so old when she was 18 no I think no because when you say the ages I think oh my god that seems old and I don't think that they seem that age because I think when I was 30 I seemed older and now I'm nearly 60 I feel like I'm 21 that's good you are only as old as you feel yeah I know do you think that my life so obviously my way that i work

is completely different from anything you would have had the opportunity so i would just work freelance i can work when i do find it a bit not odd to be alien still and i think you're lucky i think you've got more freedom than i much more freedom i think i don't think even in those days if i wasn't married i don't think i'd still be as free as you were i think i used to go off and do things like meet friends and i was always sort of going out with girlfriends and doing bits but not but i think a lot of people maybe don't have the same amount of freedom but you'd go to a local club you wouldn't do anything anything else you'd never i'd never ever eat out there's no such thing as having breakfast out or eating a meal out i think breakfast out is quite recent anyway even in my lifetime i don't think it was as big

but i think in those days if you were going out you'd eat before you went out you wouldn't go out for a meal would anyone go out for a meal? Well, only for a curry. That's the only thing you ever did in those days. Do you know what? I was listening to this on, who was it, Jessie Ware's podcast. She was saying about this, someone she had on, said in the 80s, his mum used to make her own homemade curries, and that was unheard of. Yes. Because no one knew recipes for...

No. We used to go with mum and dad to curry. There was one in Clapham Common. I actually think it's still there. We used to go with them there. And I don't think... Did you have pizza? Or like spaghetti? I never had pizza when I was little. Really?

Did you know what it was? Yeah. I never had spaghetti bolognese as such. My parents are older. What would you eat? What were your staple meals at home? Always potatoes. It was like the old-fashioned sort of meals,

like potatoes and vegetables. Yeah, roast dinners but often as a child we'd have which i actually love which is really weird is like egg a fried egg and my mom used to fry with it and i hate frying anything now i'd never fry never not in oil anyway no i never fried anyway which is a weird thing and a fried egg on top of hula hoops what as in the chris no you wally no don't be that bad no like baked beans but in hula hoop shapes spaghetti hoops yes spaghetti hoops okay that was so delicious when did you first get drunk oh now this now emily i want to know all my girls get named i don't know any of their names

that's my Alzheimer's because i'm the youngest you never know which one i am right so knowns um always thinks i'm getting paralytic which actually i never do i've never actually i never said you're paralytic no she thinks if you say drunk it's like a really derogatory and rude but it's not it just means you've you've been your body has your brain has changed because you've had a bit of alcohol but if your brain is intoxicated but i don't i can carry on as usual when i say you're drunk i just mean you've had a bit of alcohol. Yeah, but if your brain has changed, you'd fall over. But I don't. I can carry on as usual. No, you can just be tipsy. When I say you're drunk, I just mean you've had a drink. Yes, drunk to me means somebody who can barely walk up the road and needs assistance. Anyway, so when I

didn't, I didn't even have assistance this time, but once, I used to, my dad being Irish again, go back to him, he would love his Guinness. Not one, but many. How many Guinness do you think you have? More than seven or eight. That's so funny. Sometimes he'd have 15 pints he loves he loved guinness but then he also loved funerals so that's that's what i was saying when i was little that's when i was

i went to so many funerals or wakes in ireland he'd always bring me because i used to enjoy them which is a bit of an odd thing why because it's like a celebration though it is but you'd always stand around the dead person be very respectful but i've from a very young age, I used to see dead people. But to me, that wasn't scary. I just think that was quite normal. But Catholic funerals are quite a nice thing because it's with all your family. It's all to do and you eat and you have tea.

You have tea and then you start drinking. Everyone just gets absolutely wasted. But you see, I never, even as a... Well, no, obviously not as a young child, but even when I was 15, 16 or even 17, I never drank. I never had a drink, never had alcohol. Did you not want to? Tonic water, no, because I think I never drank. I never had a drink, never had alcohol. Did you not want to? Tonic water, no, because I think I never thought I should drink tonic water or tea.

Do you think it's because you'd see Gaggy getting drunk and then you'd be put off? Yeah, but I never had it. But I think we once went to a seaside, a holiday somewhere, and it was on the beach. I was sitting on a wall, but for some reason I had a glass. I don't know. Oh, my God, you've done this. A glass of Guinness. No, not Guinness.

Sorry, I hate Guinness. I don't even like it. I mean, cider. I remember thinking, oh, my God, this is so nice. It was very sweet. So it was obviously one of those cheap ciders. And I don't know why Dad gave it to me. I can't, I must have been 15 or 16.

Your dad? Or my dad? Whose dad? My dad. Gaggy. Right. Yeah, gave it to me. And I drank it.

I thought, this is great. Obviously, it must have gone straight to my head because I drank it probably like water. Then I fell off the wall. Literally. Not, thankfully, onto the beach but had it been on anywhere else I would have probably died but anyway I'm still here to tell that I don't remember being rescued I don't remember the rest of the story obviously you literally had half

a pint of cider and blacked out I don't know because the rest is gone maybe that's why most is history but you see when we were little though if we ever had stomachache I think I used to pretend I used to have stomachache mum and granny mum used to bring me warm milk but she'd always put brandy in it so you had had a drink before then because you had a brandy from the age of three age of one probably yeah but i don't like brandy i don't like spirits or whiskey any of that stuff so it wasn't until i probably went out with your dad and then you used to have the odd drink but it was honestly we'd have a bottle of wine if when we first got married we'd have a bottle of wine that would last us a week you used to have a gin and tonic and a menthol cigarette when you were oh yeah i do i must say i quite enjoyed the smoking palaver they used to smoke

sabranis i'd only have posh cigarette god i wouldn't go for marlboro i've seen a picture of you with marble eyes no not marlboro no no not me no were they not yours no they were not mine if someone handed it i was really drunk and i got so excited someone had arani so i sent you a picture and you were like but i used to have those and what was the black they were chocolate flavored or brown dark brown licorice cigarettes so very long and they were packets of maritz amorettes i don't think you can get them anymore no they were big flat in packets like this that's cool they were lovely i think i like them because they just look nice but they did taste they had flavors so it wasn't like smoking i think when i was like 16

I remember thinking I was so grown up I think I was showing off that's where I thought I was grown up but actually obviously I wasn't yeah that's what I was about to say

so when you're that age it's really funny because you think you're so grown up because you can dream by smoking I was then grown up yeah

but then now I'm 24 I feel like shit I'm 24 and I should be grown up but I don't feel like I am come on then what do you mean what are you going to fiddle with come nearer then okay so we we had a little a little what's it called chat no break oh yeah i'm now doing a bit

of a resuming resuming yeah because mum had to pop off to go get something so then we just had a curry and a glass of wine and now we're back it was good we had vegan curry yeah it was so nice and it was mock chicken you never have you do enjoy it it was nicer than real chicken yeah that question i think i want to ask you what advice would you give to me or what what things did you wish that you'd known when you were growing up or when you were my age um about being a mum or about being just about being a person like learning how to be an adult well I think the only thing is I should have gone and looked to be well gone I don't know how to put it now to say well to find out that there's more things I could have done or there was more things out there I was quite happy I think in

that day and age I wasn't sort of but that's good if you were happy yeah I was happy doing my thing I wasn't sort of ambitious that's the word really ambitious but then I think that if you were happy then that's like the ultimate thing isn't it whereas I think everyone now everyone always wants more I don't think you always need to do amazing things I was busy doing what I was doing so I must have been fulfilled just got to be nice and be kind to people. You are, you're always saving people, aren't you, on the street? So that's good, you must save people. And I suppose try not to be rude, because in my head,

I've decided to just be rude in my head and then smile. You know, to people on the street, you're like, when they overtake. I don't drive, so I wouldn't... Yeah, when people have been horrible. I would never do that, never put your fingers up when you're driving, that's so rude. I still don't drive, so it's... Yeah, but even when you do, don't do it. Even if people are really nasty, don't drive, so I wouldn't. Yeah, when people have been horrible, I would never do that. Never put your fingers up when you're driving. That's so weird. I still don't drive. Yeah, but even when you do, don't do it.

Even if people are really nasty, don't do it. So no to road rage is your number one top ten advice for this podcast. I do call them a wally, and I used to say lots of things like bloody when you were little, didn't I? I used to say, what's that square word? Yeah. FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning. Which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute?

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I remember that. I still say, I quite like bloody. I don't think it's that bad. No, I say blimey a lot. You say twat, not blimey. Oh, I love that word, but I've stopped saying that now. It's really, I'm really sad. I can't say it.

Basically, mum did not know that twat was rude. She thought it was the same as twit but she would call like me and my friends but you know twat no I didn't say it quite like that but yeah I like that word though it sounds nicer than twit yeah but it is quite rude you can't say that so do you have so overall do you think that it matters if people don't know what's going on? Do you know what I mean? I think in a way you might be better off being, you're sort of, if you're blind to really what's out there, I think the more you know, I think that's the problem with this generation and younger people.

I think there's a lot of mental health problems. I know there probably were in our day, but I think because there's so much stress going on and there's so much you have to do, you feel you have to do, you have to be doing, got to be doing, doing, doing, that you can't cope and people, they you have to do you feel you have to do you have to be doing got to be doing doing doing yeah they're all you can't cope and people they're trying to do too much i think that comes down to the fact that like going back to the original point so when you guys didn't have as many opportunities because you had to focus like there was so much more

precedent put on you had to be work so hard to get the food on the table and do certain things that you didn't even have time to think about whereas now i think you're right we've got like there's so many so much technology that means we have more time to work that evan and my generation not only has a job but you've also got like what people call a side hustle which is when you have like loads of other things that you do as well i think people this generation yeah have a bigger social life so it's it's hard because you've got to do if you're doing your work whatever work it is even though your job non-job i think it's not a non-job, I think. Non-job. A non-job. I think there's so much going on.

It's not like in the olden days, you used to come home, cook tea, do a bit of washing, sit down, chill. Actually, I never did chill. I never did sit. Yeah, I think everyone switched on. I think that's the internet as well. You're just constantly, like, emails. Yeah, I think you should ban all light at the door, blue light at your bedroom door, leave it outside.

Yeah, that is good. I think you need a teacher in every house to confiscate all i teach anybody what you're gonna hire a freelance teacher yeah what is that not apparent yeah i should come i should come i can live with you now you go on your phone at night no i don't no i don't i think because it wakes you up you mustn't do it though i do i try to read i try to knock on it half an hour before i sleep and then read before yeah it's very difficult to give advice because it's hard because it's not applicable my day just think it's so different yeah it's so different i don't know if i'd cope nowadays i think maybe how are you i'd actually if i was around today i'd probably

be you are around today by the way yeah but not around in your age generation like a little young person okay i'd be quite efficient actually but i wouldn't be doing all the stuff that you do i'd still be doing not as much you know there must be people youngsters that don't do everything that you do you do so much but i do my job's complete my job's probably not a very good example to base it off even your friends who have normal say for example jobs and they go out and then they're they're always out they're always doing stuff no time to do i think it's being in london as well it's so fast paced you have to squeeze so much time

but yeah you're right I have some friends who work from like 7 in the morning till 7 in the evening and then go out it's a bit like Emily and come home

and then I think well when are you going to clean the bathroom literally all your concerns about the washing if anyone's looking

for a cleaner she charges £400 an hour no no not that much I love cleaning I would like to be a cleaner I'm really good but it would take me too long so would that be like oh that's a good question do you think that happiness is derived from because I think what you were saying earlier is that you feel maybe like you could have done more but actually I think the important thing is just to

make sure that you're happy and I don't think that it matters I think sometimes I think actually more in your generation people thought that you had to have like for instance be a lawyer or doctor or something to be successful I think our generation are more now about making sure that you're happy and it's not necessarily about making sure you earn loads and loads of money it's about making sure that you have a really nice you're very not what's the word not opinionated you're very into like what's right and wrong whereas whereas, do you mean right and wrong? Me personally? No, no, generally, like you can't say that, you can't do that.

Politically correct. Yes. And I'm not sure if that's a bit OTT these days. Do you feel a bit like you are over-censored? Yeah. I'm not over-censored. No, but like people over-censor people. Yeah, because you read in the paper and you think people, you know, and Me Too and all

that sort of stuff, you think fine, but I'm'm not sure i'm not being sympathetic i'm on their side and all that palaver but i think it's just too much i don't know what you're saying you don't understand no why what do you mean what too much well it's constant now because it's like a bandwagon but that's because everyone it's finally i know it's fine because everyone says they're probably thinking the more people that say it, the more everyone is sort of ramming it down your throat. But it's so good because then it'll stop it. Because the problem also

isn't about the women speaking up. It should be, the problem is, it should be those men admitting and realising and changing those behavioural patterns. But until... Oh yeah, no.

Yeah, but that's going to be generations because you've got to wait for all the other twats to die, haven't you? Well, you know what I mean. I don't know necessarily what you mean in terms of me too but i think i get what you're saying in terms of like you feel like you can't say anything

without offending someone yeah yeah yeah well you tell me off all the time i'm not i guess my point of view on things is if it's a word especially if it's just a word it doesn't take that much out of my day to change one word in my vocabulary if it's going to make sure that other people aren't offended that's how i look at it but i do know that a lot of people why do it's just sad then that certain people do take offense but it's because when you don't so like it's for instance a man might not find it offensive if they if someone said something to them which is offensive to a woman because it doesn't apply to them it's a point of privilege so we might not realize that something so for example when people used to say years ago that's gay

we wouldn't find that offensive because we're not gay but to gay people to use that word as a derogatory term people used to say it and i never say that anymore but that for example we couldn't see why that was offensive but to a gay person they'd be like why are you using something that defines me as a derogatory term do you see and then so whilst it might not make sense to us actually if it's offending

someone you don't use that's just a word of the moment isn't it that's just a word that happened there nobody says that no one says that now no

but also it's just like certain people say oh it's banter well it's not I know it's banter I hate that word we're joking I know

but then they use that to say well actually to excuse themselves it's just getting a load of blokes together wait that's that's the other way around now now I feel like you're saying something else no no I'm just saying they excuse their behavior as bad yes yes or to say oh well I was just a lad thing yeah that's but that's exactly it we shouldn't there shouldn't be such thing as lad culture and there's no excuse for it no no no I lock a room chat I suppose it's got to be all your generation then boys and, they won't be like that.

I don't think it's as bad. No, I think things are changing. Do you think it's worse now? I don't know, in our day, I'm not sure if it's more isolated. No, I think it happened as much, but I think there wasn't as much integration between the sexes and it was more like behind closed doors.

Very much, so you didn't see it as much. Whereas I think also now, in terms of the media and social media, it means you get a view into every single bit. Whereas I think it wasn't as widely. It's good. No, I agree. I think it's good that everyone, especially young people, even young, you know, less than teenager.

I think the ones younger than me are even more politically aware. Like the 16 year olds now are very woke. Even younger than that, 13. that 13 yeah woke is a funny word isn't it yeah could you it's like it's a new it's actually um well it actually comes from african-american slang and it was when it means that you're awakened to something but it could be someone said that that could be um cultural appropriation that word but apparently it's not but people just use it now to mean it's so well used now it's almost hard to describe it but it means awakened to things like you open up your eyes and you see stuff so you're woke to it oh okay i'm gonna try that then but

like you it's it's like when you suddenly become you know harder you said you didn't really think that guy flashing with sexual harassment but it wasn't though but not it but it is because it's he is um invading your privacy and showing you something that you should i know but especially as a child yes i know but i think he was doing it in those days i think he was doing it to like for the shock value it wasn't going to actually i don't think yeah but that's still asserting power yeah maybe to undermine you did it too they really got disturbed by i mean to me but it's also it's just yeah but that doesn't mean that it's not wrong no no and i think also you don't know they had there are lots of people have sadly mental issues

yeah he probably didn't even know what he was doing bless him it's sad isn't it yeah but that's another problem in itself coming down to to politics and and how we look after wealth and distribute wealth and stuff because that's why you have people with lots of mental health yeah so back to the advice no i think you're doing you're going great guns and i think yes i suppose your generation and people younger are doing it for the future aren't you for yeah as it were do you think you went with the flow more no definitely yes you didn't really think you could enact any change no no no i didn't think outside the box basically i just went with it and then i was so busy i suppose doing my job and then

when you get married you have a home and I wasn't thinking oh should I be doing this should I be doing that or you don't when you look back do you think you that you you were content with the way that the world was in terms of not your personal life but like politics or like you don't really know I wasn't really into you didn't really care no I think yes because when I was a lot younger we never really had a television we had a radio so I never didn't really know and I didn't really watch television because it was if when we had one eventually there was only a football the boys watch it so I didn't watch it so funny so I never really I guess your life it was very like a family it is that is really church I think when you grow up that's something that I think it's a shame that isn't as much anymore but your life was very much a family

life and it was just about spending your time with your family and your friends yeah whereas now i think everyone because you have such quick connections to different countries and different oh yeah things going on in the world it's actually more alone because more people spend time on their own looking things online than they do actually having real social interactions yes so that's lost in some ways yeah i think i suppose it's like anything like going on holiday we never went further than ireland yeah I think maybe what it is, as well as our generation are more individualist in that we spend more time, like I think we have... Do you think you want more, though? I think that, especially because there's less religion as well,

because obviously religion creates community, doesn't it? And it makes people stay together, but actually you're maybe less affected by other things going on because you've got such a nuclear community. But also in my day, there wasn't so much of the other religions. You know, there was not... It wasn't such an integrated place. No, no.

It wasn't so diverse. Not at all, no. So, you know, we're not aware. I don't think when I was growing up, there were not many people from other countries, really. In London? Yeah. In, like, what i mean is nowadays

because there's less sense of community as we're more people look at millennials as more individual like we think that everything we've got to do on our own kind of thing so everyone's out for themselves yeah and everyone's doing that so i think that's why we're more politically engaged because it's almost like a personal agenda which is in some ways really sad and you think about the way that people don't i guess even like i'm going back years and years and years ago now but i assume in villages and even in london there was much more sense of community i feel like now no one talks don't you hate that don't you yeah i don't like that because when we lived in clapham it was not only was it like a lots of a sort of an irish community but my mum would talk to

everybody yeah we talked to everybody in the streets yeah and they you know even not so long ago just before she died even because it was a small area they got to know older people like the bus the chap driving down night and going to stop the bus and tell her to get on and she'd say no and he'd say get on make her get on and then drop her off at the house but you make a point of speaking to everyone don't you yeah because you know everyone in every shop everywhere we go yeah but i do but some people think it's odd but i just talk to people and then they'll talk back because they think it's yeah but i think that's a really sad thing that people aren't more friendly to people yeah and i do think that that's something to do with this increase in technology increase in like individualist ideas there's less sense of community

and i do think that comes down to less religion and more technology so in some ways I guess the reason wasn't because you didn't have ambitions but you were just actually content with your life because you had so much I suppose in your own small yes I didn't know how to change it so I just carried on not that you need to change it but it's just interesting to see that clearly your own small environment maybe was more positive and positive for you than the environment that we live in, which is very much like competitive and individualist. I think it's harder, definitely harder. Yeah. Nowadays.

I think it's harder in a different way, though, because I think especially like your parents would have had a lot more difficult in terms of actual like hard labour. And we don't have to do stuff like that, do we? No. Drink off, drink more wine. No, no. Have a drive.

It's really interesting because I guess some of these things I wouldn't even ask you. Really? I should have asked. It's really interesting, because I guess some of these things I wouldn't even ask you. Really? I should have asked Granny about things like that, but she was quite... Well, my mum was quite independent, but quite feisty, wasn't she? Yeah. She was like... Quite a strong woman.

Yeah. But then set in her ways as well, so she wouldn't have changed much. Was happy to stay where she was and do her job. I think that's good. Then she had probably lots of friends. There were hundreds of people all around. Everybody knew everybody

and they'd all ring each other when somebody died. It was like... Yeah. The best was the Plunkett in Clapham, which is this pub. It's like an Irish Catholic pub that we used to go to. I used to go there every year to get sent.

It used to be packed. And they used to get all these grannies and granddads to be so wasted. They'd be like maizey. You used to stand on the table. Well, everything was cost price. It's like a pint. I don't know, in those days

it was like 50p and things cost nothing. And I'd end up serving at the bar. It was such a community. But then all the youngsters like my brothers went there from when, after church, that's what we used to do,

go there. And even the priests would go and then the priests would die and then the boys got older. But the boys still today, there's a whole congregation probably 30 boys or maybe more

and they still see each other and they still get together. It's sad really really isn't it I wish I think I wish more that I guess we I didn't have that as much going on

because of where we lived no but I think that that's really I would really like that and all the families yeah all like John's friends

if their parents any of his friends' parents die or anything my brother and the other two they go to everybody's funerals because they're so respectful they always you know they sort of find it terrible they're all sort of gone now most of the parents

have died it's sad yeah that's really sad but everybody knew everybody yeah that's what's sad now i think the community i think there are still communities yeah definitely but not so i just think that and maybe it's not as much because i think everyone's so driven to work so hard and there is such a pressure on our... I think because we're known as the generation that was told that you could have everything because you guys all got these loans. I really can't remember what it was, but because you guys got these loans,

we were told we could have whatever we want. So everyone went to school, they could do whatever they want and then you get out, there's no jobs, there's no money, the economy's really bad and you can't buy a flat or like a house. You can't buy anything.

You can't buy anything. Young people don't buy. I know, but that's... So then everyone's really competitive and like, I've got to work so hard and it's really difficult, I think, for most young people. And there's like one of the highest rates of unemployment. It's sad, isn't it?

So I think it is. I think it's harder today, I think. There were definitely things like unemployment and all that sort of thing years ago, but I think today it's harder. There's more poverty now, I think, than there were. We never had so many homeless. I've never seen...

I don't ever... Do you not think it was that many? Never saw anybody on the street. Really? No, I don't remember ever talking, because I probably would have taken more people in those days. Yeah, yeah. No, I've never saw anybody anywhere in the street

sitting in a doorway... That's so sad, isn't it? ...in Balham in all those years. What's really sad when you think about homeless people is I saw the other day, Professor put this up actually they now on certain benches they've put like a metal bar so that people can't lie on them. I've seen that yeah. And then I thought this was really dystopian when I was on the tube the other day sometimes doing an announcement like there are beggars operating on this carriage please do not encourage them

and everyone was sat there looking at their phones I looked up and I was like this is gross that there's literally an announcement being like basically as if there was like dogs do you know what i mean like treating humans and everyone listening to this announcement was just looking at their phone as if nothing was going on like as if to be like we'll ignore them yeah and it sounds like if there's any beggars or homeless people make sure that you don't encourage them by giving them money and i was like that's a human person and that you're literally like everyone sat there with holding a phone that's worth like a thousand pounds like Every person that's gross. I'll tell you this is one example.

This was really sad and nice. When Dad and I were going for New Year out for that meal, do you remember we got on the tube? This New Year? Yeah, 31st. We were on the tube and there was a man... Obviously it's 31st. I put that in the case.

People think it's not. Anyway, we were sitting on the tube and there was a man... So we were in the middle of the carriage with our backs to the train, you know, this actual station, and there was a man opposite me to the left a bit, sitting on the seat, but with his dog on the seat beside him, massive dog, like an Alsatian, beautiful dog, and he was being really, he obviously looked, not well-dressed,

a bit like he looked like he was a tramp, but a nice tramp, you know, you could tell, and hugging his dog and being really nice and he was sitting hugging his dog and there was a girl like one seat next to dad except one and she got up to get off and she handed him a £20 note and I looked

and he got up and he shook her hand and he gave her a hug he said thank you, oh my god I can't believe that he's so kind of you, he wasn't asking for money he should know that's for you and for your dog and do something. And do you know, loads of people in the carousel, and they all came up and gave him money. Yeah, because she did it. And that was so sad, and I wanted to cry.

I said to Dad, have you got any money? He never had any. And I wanted to give him money. But he was so pleased, and the dog looked so happy. And he got the dog, and he was hugging the dog. I do actually give money, but the worst, do you know what happens to me? Every single time I give money to a homeless person,

I'll give them money, and I'll feel really like good like glad i did that and then the next thing you know you'll walk past like six more and you're like i can't you can't give it to all of them there's just such a bad homeless problem it's bad because there was one another one in bristol i tell you because i do know some of them in bristol although it's got so bad in bristol really oh really bad yeah um there's one youngish chap who i often talk to with his dog he walks past he goes hi how are you i'm fine thank you and I know he's he's homeless but he sort of doesn't look it right but he's obviously addicted to drugs oh my god has he got like floppy hair I might have spoke to him is he like 40s no there's one who's like an alcoholic and his wife like kicked him out like always used

to see him when we used to go out and he's literally like a functioning alcoholic but like doesn't look no this chap is he's obviously a drug addict alcoholic, but like doesn't look like that. No, this chap is obviously a drug addict. A drug addict person, yeah. This person, I was coming out of Primark. I saw him, I said, oh my God, hi, how are you? And I said, is that a different dog? He said, no, it's the same dog. I went, oh my God, it looks different.

And I didn't give him anything. But so the last time I came back and I actually gave him two pounds, which was fine. Then another day I saw him and he said, oh, hi, how are you? I said, I'm fine. And I gave him two pounds again. And then I went off to do my shopping. I came back and I saw the back of him. And I said, he said oh hi how are you i'm fine and i gave him two pounds again and then i went off to do my shopping i came back and i saw the back of him and i said oh hi how you doing and he went he was out of it oh just to know who you are no because i said i said where have you been that's really sad and he'd obviously went and bought not with two pounds obviously he must have got some money and bought whatever he had isn't that sad but the thing is i i said this

to you before though but you know people are like you're just gonna go spend money on alcohol and drugs we spend money on alcohol and drugs we spend money on alcohol and we're not homeless so obviously if you're homeless why wouldn't you

want to get away from that because I guess the only way to ignore the fact that you're homeless is to be not with it I know but it's just

isn't that sad because you'd want to escape your reality sorry there's a bit of knocking going on so I don't know if you're going to hear it but it's upstairs

but anyway I just want to say maybe that's a good time to round it off actually if there's noises so thanks very much for coming on the podcast ma'am welcome i enjoyed it would you do it again oh yes i would thank you i don't live on that interesting no i think you are but it does make you think and i think i'm not i would i'm glad in a funny way that i'm not you thanks babe

you're welcome you are me see i wouldn't want to be oh my god that is so true i'm so you you can't escape that as well you know people say it's like nature or nurture where actually genetically you get people's personalities you know you thought that was like i am genetically you so there is no escaping no i mean that's fine apart from some i mean i haven't got your your like tidiness which is not annoying so i'd take that one do you think it will come no yes i will i think it does oh yeah yeah it will um because actually you're you're very much improved oh thank you since when because i saw you with the cloth the other day and i thought what the hell are you doing i quite like i do like cleaning i just don't think i'm wiping but it's attention

to detail yeah you say i've done the bathroom and i go and i go this is where i'd say you need to clean your bathroom but you are immaculate. No, no, but, yeah. I have got a very special way of hoovering, though. Have you? Yeah, as in, like, I will only, I can't be bothered to hoover the whole carpet, so I'll just hoover the areas where I can see there's dust.

You haven't really got a proper hoover. No, not really. But when one has, like I say, a Dyson. What you need is one of those automatic hoovers. I really want a Dyson hoover actually Dyson if you're listening no no no

I tell you what no there's little like a robot hoover oh my god do you know what actually I think that's such a good point about being an adult I think you're an adult

when you start to learn that you like hoovering because I actually quite like it now because there's nothing more upsetting than having an unhoovered carpet I know

and I never thought I'd care about that I actually said to Matt the other day I would love a Dyson hoover and that I think like it now because there's nothing more upsetting than having an unhoovered carpet i know and i never thought i'd care about that i actually said to matt the other day i would love a dyson hoover and that i think in itself yes because you'd never want it's very when you're listening you'd never want a dyson hoover and now i just and honestly just emptying the bin and i was like do you know what i'd love a dyson hoover i know you could whiz it around one of the whizzy ones not the yeah or even the one that you've got yeah that's one can't leave you on that absolute so do you walk around do you feel like an adult now yeah of course after all eventually yeah i do actually of course i do but do you sometimes forget do you sometimes feel like you're like 20 and then you're like oh no i do forget because sometimes i look at

clothes i think oh my god i love that like what certain clothes yeah but like what kind of thing like quite floaty pretty like long dresses or things not low yeah no like no i've got to act my age as my friend you don't have to act your age i think that your age is where no it wouldn't suit me anyway because i'm too thick in the middle but she's literally not i know but do you want to be my waist bust and hips all the same way go straight down no um but i look at things think no i must dress my age and then sort of but you don't dress your age because you don't dress like you dress cool no I know I've

yeah I do like shoes I've got a thing about shoes yeah but no I just think certain things think no I can't wear that now I also just think

it's really important to just wear whatever you fancy I think life's too short to worry about it I get my black leather miniskirt out now no no

you wouldn't even like a black leather miniskirt I don't even think I like black leather not on me anyway I used to have a lovely black leather skirt to my knees yeah i'd like a knee length i actually put that i've just never been a fan of a mini skirt no they don't suit me no so i've got your body we have the exact same body shape don't we you go straight down yeah yeah twins no waist no bust no hips no in other words no nothing nothing but a fab personality absolutely

yeah you've got more personality than i have no i don't i'm quite quiet i literally have you are not bloody quiet and i have your personality that is how this has happened i am you just in a few years time aren't i i do you do tell me to stop in shops i talk to people my friend only because when we're in a rush mum and with your 20 minutes deep into a conversation with the women in h&m and we're meant to be somewhere yeah and you haven't even started buying the clothes or whatever you're doing no i'm not 20 minutes deep we just end up talking but my friend used to say to me sadly he's not with us anymore she used to say to me um we're going to go in the shop and i'm going to buy my lipstick and the what was it in the estee lauder counter i say okay whatever you do do not talk to the

sales system do not engage me i was like why because mom you won't go do you remember when i was little and i was like mom i'm really tired from school and you're like i'm just going to pop into the shop and i was like please don't take ages and she would go into tesco's for about three hours and i'd be in the car and I used to fall asleep. And then you'd drive home and then you'd go in the house and leave me in the car. And I'd wake up so confused. You'd run back. No, you wouldn't get.

This is where we live. All of the houses, because I'd fall asleep everywhere, didn't I? Yeah. No, but you were safe. You were not in the middle of the highway. No, obviously not. But it was just because I was in the car. Because I wouldn't get up, would I?

No, you wouldn't get out. So I'd say, OK, I'm leaving you. And you'd run and go back to sleep, so I'd have left you. And I'd wake up and I'd miss dinner and I'd be so sad. No, you wouldn't miss dinner. I used to come out all the time and toot to you. And then I'd turn the car door, open and shut it, open and shut it. And it would click.

And even that wouldn't wake you up. Do you not remember that? Yeah, I do remember. I just love sleeping so much. I think you do like sleeping. I think I need more sleep than most people. Do you know my thing? The only thing I want in life, actually, that's true.

I haven't seen this day. The only thing I really want to do and this changes all the time because you say this all the time. Sometimes it's like a car and then sometimes it's like to move somewhere. No, no, no. The only thing. I always want to move. No, this is the only thing I've always wanted to do and I never could.

I always thought I did, but I don't. I want to sleep on my back. What? That is not funny. What do you mean? I just want to be able to go to sleep on my back. How do you sleep? I can't sleep on my back.

So how do you sleep? I sleep on my side. Either side. Any side. In my tummy sometimes. How do you know? Because I've tried it and it doesn't work. But I don't know how I sleep because I just wake up and I do this.

If I went to bed and laid on my back and I'd lay there, I'd think this is so comfortable. And not only that, when you get to my age, you really don't crease one's face. So I'm laying there thinking it's the most comfortable position. And then, after a while, I think, oh God, I can't sleep like this because I think when I go to sleep, I think I sort of choke myself. You get sleep apnea. So I think, oh, I'm going to die, so I have to sleep on my side.

You've never told me that before. Always want to sleep on my back. That's my one main aim in life. Your goal. Why don't we see if we can get this fixed? We can't. I think you get sleep apnea. Unless you're dead.

Because you know I snore. You know I snore. Yeah. And I think that's, yeah, I've inherited it from your dad. It sounds like a train is coming from your room and you're asleep. But that is not, that is where, yeah, so I think you get this thing called sleep apnea,

which is when your airways lock up. So I think we need to sort you out. Apparently, if you have a pineapple plant in your room, it stops you snoring. Shoot. And they sold them in Asda, but they've sold out now,

so I was going to get one. Do I? Because everyone's buying them? Yeah, pineapple plant. What do they look like, pineapple? Literally looks like a pineapple growing out of a tree.

Out of a pot? So it's like a pot with a, it looks looks like a pineapple growing out of a tree. Out of a pot? So it's like a pot. It looks like a bit of bamboo and then a pineapple. Oh, okay, I'll buy one. Yeah. Oh, that is so sad, Mum. So that is truly... Every night I go to bed, I lay that on my back

so I can lay on my back and be really lovely and happy. And do you think about it and you think, that would be so nice if I could just fall asleep? Yeah, I just think, this could be me. At all. Eight in the morning or whatever time i get up and i it doesn't happen because then after i might just drop sleep and i think i have to wake up because i wake myself up because i snore too loudly sometimes i won't snore for ages and i'll do one really loud

rather than go and then wake myself up yeah yeah so that's my main aim in life it's honestly it's so comfortable try it I sleep on my back I sleep flat out I wake up sometimes on my side but then again I don't know because I think I move around I wake up and my duvet is completely not where I left it whereas Tiffany the one in Australia she is so tidy

actually I went to sleep and woke up this morning my bed's still made so I can't have moved I must have passed out last night yes because your sister gave you tulips. You haven't listened to this. Her sister gave her a bunch of tulips. I got here and I said, oh, Noni, now where do you... I meant to say to you, you could put the tulips actually in with the daffs.

It would be quite funny. With the daffs? The daffodils. And I thought, where are they? She said, oh, they're out. Where are they? I don't know where they are. They're there.

And I said, where? There. And I said, but where's there? On the table? No. Oh, by the front door? No. In the kitchen? No. I said, Noni, where are they? She said, well, I don't know and I said but where's there on the table no oh by the front door no in the kitchen

no I said no only where are they she said well I don't know I said you can't I definitely brought them in

I said but no only they should be in water I think she took them to bed with her you actually you took them to bed they were in my room

yeah on the bed in a bag in the bed in the bed honestly this has been so much fun are you sure

I'd love to have you back thank you we could just do every episode me and you we'd get a guest on yes well if you feed me whatever

that thing was, I'd love it. Yeah. Shout out to Muscle Food. Muscle? Muscle Food. That isn't actually an ad, but I just genuinely loved it. It's so tasty, and it's actually quite spicy, but so nice. You could become a vegetarian. A vegan. Thank you so much

for listening. Mum, are you going to say bye? Yes, bye everybody. Thank you for listening. Do you gonna say bye yes bye everybody thank you for listening do you have anything special you want to say as a little outro i'm going the podcast you just heard was recorded with anchor if you want to make your own download the android or ios app completely free from anchor.fm slash podcast that's anchor.fm slash podcast fandu casino daily jackpots guaranteed to hit by p.m. with your chance at the number one feeling, winning. Which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute?

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