Adulting - #23 Finding Your Tribe with Freya Ridings

Episode Date: December 9, 2018

This week I speak to chart-topping singer and song-writer Freya Ridings. We discuss being the odd one out, achieving your dreams & finding your tribe. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600. Or visit connectsontario.ca. Select games only. Guarantee void if platform or game outages occur. Guarantee requires play by at least one customer until jackpot is awarded or 11pm Eastern. Research and supply. See full terms at canada.casino.fandu.com. Please play responsibly. Hi guys and welcome to Adulting. This is the podcast where I try to figure out what it means to be an adult in this day and age and what affects the way we grow up.

And today I am joined by Freya Ridings. Hello! Freya is a singer, songwriter. You've probably heard her singing Lost Without You, which is actually one of my favourite songs at the minute. And today I think we want to talk about kind of the industry that she's in, career-wise, because I guess for Freya, when she was little, I bet you said like, when I grow up I'd love to be a singer.

I actually said I wanted to be a blacksmith. Oh, right. That was my thing. Until I was about nine, I said I was going to do like jewellery or blacksmith making because I love jewellery. And then I saw, what was was it love actually and the little girl at the end singing the christmas song it's only recently i've remembered this and that was the first time i saw her and i was like i want to do that and then now does it feel like you're living

out your little girl dream there are some moments we were like this feels like you're in a film they're like they're not they're not all the time i think people think it's like all the time but it's like it's little moments we were like this is so surreal like honestly what's going on I guess at this point in time like you're right in that well it's funny because obviously everyone else looking in I'd be like you're in the charts doing stuff but I guess for you there's probably been like so much time and energy put into this yeah it's been like over 10 years yeah whereas from the outside we're like oh my god like look at you like and I guess for you that build-up has been really gradual Maybe it doesn't look as dramatic as... I mean, the last six months are so different from the first six months of this year.

And it's almost like, it does kind of like a snowball kind of effect. It was like a little pebble and then it was like a little snowball. And now it's like massive, like yeti-sized snowball. Like, this is insane. This has to end. But at the same time, like, I kind of don't want it to because it's like, you know, I'm just so grateful that it's happened. You know, even if it all disappeared tomorrow, I'm just like, no one gets to do this. Yeah.

Even for a little bit. It's an honour. So what's the thing that this year, I guess, has maybe like shocked you the most or? Yeah, I think like the song being on Love Island was quite a shock. Oh, yeah. Because, I mean, I had had songs played on TV shows that I didn't know they were going to be on before. But that was like because i was really into the show i was like that's really cool did no one tell you no no one

tells you these things no one tells you anything and you suddenly just find out you're like oh cool i kind of like that though it's like it takes the pressure off it's like yeah that happens or it doesn't but the response was the thing that i could not have predicted and it's like that wave of like warmth and like support and like you know it got shazammed like 13 000 times like i can't like because i've shazammed songs and it's like just even the idea that someone did that for a song i wrote it's just so surreal well i think your music is amazing because i think often like now female artists a lot of the time don't sing that much and i really miss you know just like real just sit down singing yeah um and you've got like amazing vocals so I think actually coming out as an artist it's

so fab but how hard is it to write your own music like is there ever a struggle about what you're going to write about do you feel like you don't have enough voice or something to say I it's not even like going in with like a like any kind of agenda I think it's more like for like being at school I was like really like isolated and really different from everyone else and it was so hard because I like love people I'm like really close to my family and I was just so different I think anything that makes you different at school makes you you know weird and what was it do you think that you thought was different about you I was just tall and like a redhead and like I spent a lot of time with like adults growing

up so I was kind of had different vocabulary for the other kids I'd be like and also really dyslexic so I couldn't keep up in school you know when everyone's chatting I'd be like focusing so hard and I'd still not be able to finish it and I just find that so hard just to be told repeatedly that I was not good at things I was just like this is so like heartbreaking especially being little and you believe it you're like I'm just not good at anything and so when I found music I just sort of fell in love with the fact that it wasn't about thinking it was just about feeling and I think that that's a sort of a theme that's like carried me through the last 10 years and kind of saved me at school was that I could go to the piano rooms at lunchtime and I'd have all of these things that you know you'd normally just say to a

friend but I didn't have any at school so I'd just go and sort of say it to a piano that's really kids are so mean because when I was at home as an adult, you'd be like, I'm tall and redhead. I'd be like, yeah, great, whatever. I was just big. I was like,

people thought I was like the teacher so like they wouldn't like talk to me. That's so, but I can remember I've seen them being like mean to friends because they had red hair. You don't know you're doing it but like,

just the way that children are. I was just very big and everyone else just seemed quite little and they were all like much further. They just, I was just so different. Like, you know when you see like a load of sheep and there's like the one black one yeah that one

but you think what about now so like did you did you make more friends growing up at school and then or is it like a nightmare like honestly looking back at school I'm like because every year or every new school I went to I'd be like this is where I'm gonna find my tribe like this is gonna be it and I'd just be like so heartbreaking I actually love that you're talking about this because I think it's one of the biggest taboos is like not having loads of friends i think i had like no friends do people don't talk about that they're embarrassing it was horrific because i don't know that there's actually no feeling as bad as like going into like a lunch room and like looking around like just sitting on your well no i used to like sit down everyone would just get up and

leave but not because like they hated me because i was just different they just didn't know what to say but i think it goes both ways because i think when you feel like you're being isolated, I've done this before, when you think girls are being mean to you, you then start to ostracise yourself and then it all just gets worse. It gets worse and worse because then you become the worst version of yourself.

It's a self-perpetuating thing. Like I just thought that people just didn't like me. So I just shut myself off, went to the piano rooms, I'm going to hold on to who I am, like almost kind of like cocoon it. And I was like a sort of caterpillar in a cocoon, just like, I'm not coming out.

I'm not coming out. I think loads of people from school genuinely shocked I was about to say I look and sound so different to how I was at school this might be a really basic question but in a very small way do you feel a little bit like fuck you because obviously you're doing like amazingly and like it's such a gradual thing and I'm in such a place of like you know gratitude at the moment yeah honestly all I feel is like grateful for that time yeah I'm going such a place of like, you know, gratitude at the moment. Yeah. Honestly, all I feel is like grateful for that time. Yeah. Because I'm going to do this extraordinary thing now that I would never have got to do. If, you know, I'd had loads of friends and like, you know.

It's funny because. Growing up, I wouldn't have ever done. Yeah. I would have, I would have been with my friends. I wouldn't have gone to the piano rooms and been like, why am I unknown? Which is what I did like every single day for 10 years. It's really sad. But I do think there's times, things have happened to my life and I'm like i generally think that really shit thing hadn't happened the amazing thing wouldn't

have happened it's like you know a terrible relationship and like a toxic relationship and ends and you're like oh my god i'll never love again and then you meet someone different better and you're like oh my god thank god that ended but at the time you're like dying you have that personal growth yeah i'm so grateful like i would not have done any it gave me like a fire that I just like I can't thank them enough hashtag thank you next literally when that came out I was singing it so much my boyfriend was like why are you like he's getting annoyed about and I was like no it's so true he was like what um have you had any old flames come back and be like is this about me yeah all of them oh my god it's really it's really random, because they do it in kind of like a really sweet way because all of them knew like throughout my whole life,

it's like everyone who's been on this journey with me since I was like 12. It's like, I literally said at 12, this is what I want to do. And everyone was like, okay, you're really shy, weird red headed girl. And I was like, I don't know why I was so shy, but it just felt like being on stage

was the only time I could be myself at school and it's just so weird I hear a lot of like Beyonce was saying that she I'm not saying I'm like Beyonce anyway she just she said something like she was such an introvert at school and then when she got on stage it was like she could actually she was like free because I don't know there's I suppose there's that performance element to it as well and it's like you're allowed to I think as a young girl as well we're taught that we're not meant to be like self-confident and we're not meant to believe in ourselves so in day-to-day life especially within like a friendship it's like you're allowed to, I think as a young girl as well, we're taught that we're not meant to be like self-confident and we're not meant to believe in ourselves. So in day-to-day life,

especially within like a friendship group, it's quite hard as a girl to be like, I'm really self-certain and whatever. But if you're on stage, you've got to be that woman who's like, I know exactly what I'm doing, what I want. Yeah, it was like,

it's just sort of like a cliff diving moment. And once you do something that's scary, it's like you just, you know, you build a self-esteem really slowly through little acts every day and eventually you become this person who you kind of always meant to be but you just weren't for a long time did you have because i i can't imagine like how difficult this process

must have been to get there because like you say it's such a big thing to be like i want to become like so many people want to be singers and we want to get make it i never wanted to be like i never saw it as what did you see it as i saw it more as like songwriting first because I didn't ever like get any grades in any instruments. So I never had any singing lessons. So I was like, I obviously, I'm none of, I'm not a singer. I'm not a, you know, instrumentalist. And I never saw myself actually as a writer because I never held a pen. So I didn't know what the hell I was, but I just knew that I loved, you know, the three

minute format of how a song can like just transport you and connect you with another person that you've never met. Yeah. And how you can feel so alone and a song can make you feel like understood. And that's all I've, you know, music was for me. And I just, I never did it with a purpose. Yeah. Ever. Have you had, have there been like difficult times on the way? There have been times when you were like, I can't do this. Or is it, did everything seem to almost fall into place? No, no, I gave up so many times because it's so hard like you know you put your soul out there for like people in like pubs and everyone's like talking and everyone's like and you're just like this is ridiculous and for a long time I did like upbeat covers on guitar because I thought that's what people wanted

and it was almost like this insane journey of like accepting yourself who you really are and when people the second that you do it's like everyone else does as well I spent so long trying to be what I thought people wanted and it was horrific and I was in such a bad place and I was like this is crazy because I go out and play all these like upbeat covers and pubs and then I come home and play all these sad songs I've written on the piano and I'd be like ahhh and my mum was actually the one who was like have you ever thought about taking the piano songs out into the world and I was like no that's like insane no like no one's gonna like them I was like

no one's gonna yeah it also felt like my diary yeah that's so I'm gonna keep doing like born to be wild on guitar down the local pub and she was like okay and it's honestly it's that thing of like you know that that thing that you think if you hide people will like it's like it's the opposite yeah the more honest you are the more people I think people can smell when you're not being quite true yeah this is 100% people can understand like they know when you're not giving something but i do agree that writing that music i can imagine that when i listen to it i'm thinking this is like your personal head because weirdly a lot of it translates into other people's lives so i can listen to it i've been shocked at the amount of people that have taken it into their lives and

like taking it into their like their hearts and it's like it's just like i've never thought like you never think writing it that someone's going to have it paid at like their wedding yeah or at a funeral i'm like this is like people's lives like their real lives and it's like it is you've really hit another that especially with lots of like you though because i do think it is there's something about it and your voice is so even when you talk i your your voice is really like unusual to listen to hello it sounds it sounds like musical even when you're talking no do you not think no i think my because it's so full no because my dad's a voiceover artist so like to me i'm just like hello no like who um he does like voiceovers for like children's tv and stuff so sick like his voice is

much deeper and richer than mine do you have um so that's quite musical in of itself do you have music in your family or yeah music like because my dad's like an active voiceover artist but growing up music is like his true love yeah so he'd just leave like instruments everywhere and a long time I actually remember being like I'm not going to do that because it's gonna you know make him too happy I'm gonna rebel and not do that so funny and then I found it I was like damn it I, I really like it. I remember feeling quite like, oh, I was like, oh, damn it. I've given in.

But then it's like, I did it my own way. Like, I, you know, play piano and plays guitar and it's just, it's different. But at the same time, we have this huge, you know, bond through what we love. It's very similar. I think it's really sad. So I was just thinking about like,

how you're saying your dyslexia, like, was so disruptive in your school days. It's horrific. Interestingly, the school I went to actually had, like, a dyslexic set. It was, like, one of the only places where, so they would, like, teach you completely differently if you had dyslexia to, like, make it. But I've just realised that's not normal.

No. And I do think that that's something that needs to be, like, spoken about more. Like, in your day-to-day life, how much does it affect you? Hugely. I think what you're told as a child, you believe to be true. Yeah. It's like those things where classes have been told that they're wonderful and they're the chosen special ones and the other one hasn't.

And they perform so much better because they think they are good at something. So therefore they work harder to be good at something. Yeah. It's like that expectation. And so I still have the belief that I'm like not a writer. Like, you know, I don't read as much as I should because growing up it's like... Scary. Yeah.

It just wasn't the thing that I was told I was good at. then when music came along you know people were so supportive and I was like this is I found the thing that I love and I'm just gonna continue doing it for as long as I can so do you not get as much of a sense of like that imposter syndrome feeling now or do you still get that a bit in your industry yeah I think it's just really like funny I'm just like this is just crazy because I've never held a pen and people call me a writer i'm like this is love that's what about um with in terms of like now you're in the industry now you're and everyone else probably looks in and thinks it's all like this sparkly shiny unbelievable world really well paid all of these things people think that i think i think we imagine music to be i only know that it's changing because of like listening and reading

about new artists now with streaming and stuff but I think you do imagine like someone becomes a pop star or gets a song on the charts not a pop star I don't know that's a weird term but suddenly your life goes from like a to b but I guess that's I mean it's a real slow transition and it's like a sort of you don't even notice that things have changed and you're like this is so different I think growing up with like having a dad as an actor you see it for what it really is and you see the highs and they're so high and you see the lows and they're so low yeah and it's like you have to prepare yourself for the fact that you don't know where you're going to be waking up every day you don't know how long you're not going to see your family and you don't know if it's going to work or not but you're just throwing your soul out into this universe just

being like just see what happens and I feel like I have so much respect for the musicians and songwriters that I knew like like growing up and it's like they're working full-time jobs in cafes and they're like putting all of their money into their records it's like that takes everything and um you know for it to actually have worked even in a little way is just still blowing my mind because I never thought it would I just it never works for anyone yeah what what was your biggest shock I guess going into this career like was there anything that you assumed was going to be a certain way and now that you're in it, you're like, oh. I mean, I think people assume like there's some sort of like magical kind of committee that just chooses who's going to be like the next thing. I think at a time there was.

Yeah. But with Spotify and like streaming, it's so different now. Yeah. And because I, you know, not being anywhere close to popular growing up, it's the idea that, you know. You're in the charts. Yeah, that people have chosen it, like real people. That's what I love and care about. And like, you know, even it's like never sort of winning the sort of beauty pageant part of it.

But it's kind of like, it's a real democratic, like the people choose. And I love that because you go to shows and they're like real people singing with you. And you're like, I used to sing to two people in a poodle in a pub. And now it's like 2,000 people singing with me in like a snowstorm confetti. And I'm like, I'm dying inside. That is unbelievable. FanDuel Casino Daily Jackpots. Guaranteed to hit by 11pm with your chance at the number one feeling.

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Guarantee requires play by at least one customer until jackpot is awarded or 11 p.m. Eastern. Research and supply. See full terms at canada.casino.fandu.com. Please play responsibly how does with streaming and stuff is that i guess the industry works really differently because now back in the day i guess people would sell actual physical records yeah that's not a thing anymore no but it's not a bad thing at all i think if anything it's like it's kind of really liberating because it means that people don't have to listen to the music that people tell them to listen to they can choose and there's just so much freedom to that and so much more heart to that because you can't fake that connection yeah and i've never wanted to or

tried to i've never tried to be you know cool or trendy or like anything it was so weird what i was doing for like so long and so uncool that even the idea that you know people now think it's cool is still like but i think that's what's so funny i think you're saying like weird and uncool but i think our generation has this massive thirst to actually see into the lives of like real people we've been fed so much fakeness for so long and yeah i think like if you even look at the rise of like we love reality tv even though half of it's like scripted and we love like following real girls on instagram in vertical is real i'm like fascinating yeah and so i think when you come along, you're like, I'm so weird. It's not, it's just another like girl,

woman, whatever you want to be. Yeah. Like doing something amazing. And that's so much more relatable and beautiful and wonderful to look at than like someone who's been constructed to be this idealised version of what we imagine, you know, a singer or whatever to be. I never thought I'd sign any kind of record deal because I thought to do that

they'd change your name and your hair and your songs. And I was like, well, that's just not going to work for me. Yeah. Because I just know like in my soul that that's just not who I am. And I can't do that. I can't lie when it comes to music. Did you have to kind of ask for that kind of autonomy or was it, was it, is it changed now?

I'm so lucky that I signed with an indie label who was so supportive of what I actually did. And they were brave to do that. It was not the done thing. Like I knew majors who were like, yeah, we'd like, we'd do something with you but you have to change like everything about yourself. And I was like,

I can't do that. That's just not who I am. And they were like, well, and I was like, sorry. It's just almost like a relationship. It's like when you find someone who accepts you

for who you really are. Oh my God, amazing. Oh my God. And they took a risk they took a huge risk on me like I had no music out I had you know no fan base yeah literally it was like so how did they find you it was actually a friend who I went to school with was interning at the label and it was his very first day and he was like they were like you should um come into

our meeting just to see what our meetings like like. And he's like, cool. And they were sat there being like, we need to find someone next who's going to be the next person. And he was like, I knew someone from school. They were like, uh. What a great friend. Okay. Yeah, literally. I freaking took him out for dinner.

I was like, thank you so much. What an absolute babe. Have you found, you've mentioned briefly that you haven't had to change the way you look and stuff. But is there, I can't imagine, I don't know what the pressure's like. But now that you're more in the public eye are you feeling like a stress is there pressure to look a certain way or really interesting because like i've never really defined myself by what i looked like but growing up like i was very big and i think that was like a sort of another barrier between me and people and it's more like an energy thing i wanted to kind of like transform the way i look to more have the energy to do what i love right and also because I'm not like a dancer I'm not like a like

a pop performer yeah I'm more like a songwriter who's singing like sad songs um that's kind of I just really admire the artists that don't define themselves yeah yeah no I'm not saying that you have to I do love fashion I love like yeah dressing up, I do love that. But at the same time, it's like, I'm, I love wings. Like, I'm not going to stop eating chicken wings. Oh my God, no. Yeah, but I think this is something that is changed about the industry. But, like, even I've listened to other people, like, oh God, I listen to way too many podcasts.

But just talking about how you get there and all of a sudden you're, even I feel a bit, because I do Instagram stuff, and I feel like I've got to change the way that I look. I think that what is, what I love about your your music and what I'm assuming a lot of people love about your music is that it you're unbelievable don't get me wrong but your songs before I see you know what you look like it's like you listen to it and you're like that's unbelievable I'm going to play that on repeat I literally pressed the little repeat thing on Spotify that honestly means so much more to me than you could, like, know. Because growing up, I think there's just so much emphasis put on, like, what female singers look like.

And what they're, you know, wearing. And for me, it was always, like, the songwriters were the ones that I admired. And the women and the men who, just their honesty. And you could, like, hear their soul, like, through their voices and their words. And I was, like, I would just, they're the people that transport me and the ones who inspired me. So, yeah. Well, even if you look at a programme like X Factor sometimes there would be these people who were unbelievable singers but they were too old or too fat or too not attractive enough

so it wouldn't get in that Susan Boyle thing where the whole country just universally was like I just wow yeah she's like you judge you can't judge someone's soul on what they look like and I know that our whole culture is geared towards doing that and you know we're all as guilty as each other of like being sucked into that but when you actually talk to someone face to face and it's like there's that connection you're not thinking about what they look like yeah and it's the same thing with music that should be like music shouldn't be anything to do with what you look like realistically you know I mean like at shows like don't remember I love putting on like sequence yeah like a show like I love visual things yes and you can do some incredible beautiful your lights was sick actually I really enjoyed your show I love our lighting designer it's like oh I'm obsessed with how things look

and you know making things as beautiful as they can be but you know someone's body is so personal to them and their journey and what they are trying to achieve for me it was much more about having the energy I needed to do what I loved. And I knew like traveling and touring was going to take so much out of me. Yes. And I used to be super unfair and I never used to do any exercise

and I found it really demoralizing. So I started doing like, you know, like Pilates and like running and like ballet. And I just suddenly kind of fell in love with moving. I think there's a huge movement towards, like I spoke about this in a previous episode, but girls are taught when we're little that the only reason you exercise is to lose weight and guys exercise their whole life yeah and now girls are like i want to be strong and i want to

be fit and healthy and like like instagram like watching girls who like are amazing with like kettlebell like i got really into kettlebell i actually brought one on tour it literally broke my suitcase the wheel came out of my suitcase how heavy was it that's so funny it was it was quite heavy but at the same time like I found it like doing it first thing in the morning like you know half an hour it just makes me feel like so empowered the whole day yeah and I just I love that well moving your body is such an important human thing to do and like dancing yeah I literally I used to come home from school and I think I danced for like two hours just because I loved it and it was like not because I was good at it I love that me too I was so bad and I used to come home from school and I think I'd dance for like two hours just because I loved it and it was like not because I was good at it I loved that me too I was so bad and I used to put

on performances with my poor parents and they were like and I'd be like slut dropping yeah I was like 10 and they were like oh god like it makes you feel like the best version of yourself I think not enough people it's like you don't have to be good at something to enjoy it I think that's so true I think we do have that massive fear especially around dancing there's a huge thing we're like so fun unless I'm absolutely batter, in which case I genuinely think I'm Beyonce. No, sometimes I'm just like, you know, Friday night in, I'll just like put on like music and just pretend that I'm at a disco and just like have a great time. Yeah. Fucking love it.

So you mentioned briefly that you went to the Brit school. Yeah. Did you have to dance there? Oh, hell no. Oh. No, I was in the music strand. There's different strands. There's musical theatre, there's dance, there's theatre, but I was straight music what was the Brits school like as a school what's

it like going there it's really interesting because you hear so much about it and I'd wanted to go like since I was like 10 um it was a huge sacrifice because my family like moved across the city so I could go right and I think everyone thought that I don't know it's everyone thinks you're gonna like go there and find your tribe it's gonna be like fame and I spent everyone thought that I don't know it's everyone thinks you're going to like go there and find your tribe and it's going to be like fame and I spent so many years at school being like well I'll go to the Brits Corner it'll be like so different it was exactly the same and I was like gutted I was like damn it

but it's so nice now though because you know I do really appreciate that time of like having even more time on my own to kind of like write and they were very you know they understood the industry a bit better and they did I did learn a lot but mostly it was learning that just because you're treated like the underdog the thing that i learned most in the brit school was like being treated like the underdog is actually a gift right because it gives you a fire yeah they were like there

were people there that got signed very young and they had success and they were just sat back just like well this is gonna work for me obviously and i was sat there like does anyone want to like write a song and they'd literally laugh at me but that feeling of pressure I can't even imagine how because that school already it's got that elevated status you're right like the people that have gone in and out of those doors and huge names I love the fact that in my years I mean I think years above and years below were different but my year specifically there was just you know a few people that were completely like well you guys aren't going to do anything and i was one of them i think they're all just like in shock now they're like what oh good for you i love that because i do think i think a school and anything for anyone is when you look back you suddenly realize like that's

absolutely savage especially girls like girls are just mean i've been mean and had people be mean to me yeah and i see be mean to me and I see like young girls now and I'm like just stop it yeah it's such a hard time I know everyone

was going through like everyone's 16 it's like no one's their best self at 16 but at the same time like I've

I really I just think I was very different I got on really well with the musical theatre people they were really friendly do you think it's harder for girls though

because I think sometimes in life we're put forward and there's only so many women in at any one time doing any one thing yeah so for girls it always looks like that competition's a little bit steeper and a little bit harder it just used to break my heart like lunch times like all the boys would be on a table reading like sound on sound they'd be like oh like talking about their plugins and their instruments and i'd be like oh cool and then like the girls would all be sat around looking at like a thing of someone in a bikini being like who could eat the least today yeah and I just feel like that's so sad like I had so much respect for the dancers ironically because

they were eating like incredible like high protein food because they want to be strong yeah just like so disciplined and hard working had to work together and I was like respect you guys respect musical theater and there's something in music which is like we can do this all on our own and I knew from the very beginning that even though this looks like I'm doing this on my own, it takes an army. And I'm just so grateful to have those people around me. You just have a huge team. And then how, so now that you're in this position,

do you feel like you know who you are as a woman? I mean, I'm 24 and I feel like I'm finally starting to get who I am. I think that finally starting is a really good phrase. It's that kind of, you know when you're little and you're like, oh, by the time I'm 20, I'm going to have done this, this, this. And you're like, you get there like, Jesus, I need some more time. Yeah. But, you know, the next birthday, I'm going to be, I'm just so grateful to be doing what I love. And it's like at any age, that's a complete blessing.

And I'm just focusing on like just a lot of gratitude because I know what it's like not to have it. And I know I've had birthdays where I'm like, I feel like i'm so far behind from what i should be doing and now i'm like i could be you know 75 and i'd still be like i'm super happy now i've done like enough to be happy now that oh but that's the love i think that's the loveliest thing is to be happy in the present i think a lot of the time we spend all of our time especially i think early 20s like looking forward to being an adult yeah and then you get here and you're like what the fuck is going on like no idea yeah yeah and i think like if you look back five years ago say to like your 19 20 year old self do you feel like that was the same i feel like i was so lost i was literally so lost

at 19 because i think i was like everyone had gone to university and i hadn't and i was just everyone was like what are you doing i was like oh my god i don't know i always thought i'd do this but it's one of those things that you learn that things that just happen to you you happen to them yeah and it's like you have to turn up and like just go out there and do so many my mum was always like do a course go to do this and I was like I just want to sit at home and like play piano do nothing she's like go outside meet people and I was like oh I don't want to actually it was so good for me and I did all these courses at the roundhouse and it was like my little sort of I used it like a university I did all these courses and I met people and I was like

like open mic nights yeah you just have to force yourself out of your shell and just sort of try and yeah you're right live in the moment and not get overwhelmed by the weight of what's coming or what has been and now at this point after going through that time at school where you felt like you maybe didn't have that many friends have you instead of like I don't know either have you made loads of friends or have you just realized actually you're someone who's quite happy just having a few friends it's one of those funny things that you kind of I found like a list of like things that I wanted to achieve from like a really long time ago like eight years ago and I've basically done it but without realizing and it's like oh my god and

I'm a huge fan of like visualizing the things you want and like just just so you even know what you're after yeah i've always wanted a group of people that are like my tribe yeah we work well but i have that now and it's like honestly like getting on the tour bus after the show and just i have a band that i absolutely adore and they are lovely human beings and we have a laugh and we would like get tea and like face masks and i do movie nights and i'm literally like everyone thinks that i'm dying because of like you know the the joy of like playing shows and like ah that's amazing but then actually getting to do that and then be yes literally i was like i finally feel like i found my tribe after like

my entire school like 15 plus years of being like completely alone and it's like well i think the takeaway from that is it makes so much sense because you're finally allowed to do exactly what it is that you want to be doing so obviously you're going to be around the people that do that it brings out the best in you yeah people bring out the best in them and then suddenly you just get to be yourself and it's like it's just i think that's the loveliest model it's basically what it shows i think loads of us go through this when you're younger when you're like i can't fit in like you're trying to fit yourself in these places that you just don't fit and then suddenly you get older and you lose a bit of that

like shame around doing something different and you're like oh I belong here I make sense now so I think that's a really lovely like little story

yeah that tour bus seriously like I would marry that tour bus there's something about it it's just like it makes oh it's like having a little

like apartment like on the road like you can make people tea you can like buy people back on the tour bus you're like come on the tour bus I felt not like a little tour mom I was like oh sex drives rock and roll or no oh hell no we literally got on the bus right straight into the fluffy like pajamas face mask we've got like cups of tea I knew everyone's tea order I'm a huge

tea fan and tea pigs sent me a load of tea which is like my favorite brand of tea I'm not sponsored but legit right I learned everyone's favorite kind of tea and we're making it after the show it's like my little ritual and we'd all have our tea and we'd watch films and the boys would watch their films and we'd have our chick flicks at the back and then we'd sometimes swap over the boys would end up watching the chick flicks and we were like oh hello they'd be watching like how to lose a guy in 10 days with their face masks on one of the best films ever freaking great film and we were just like just laughing and it's like it just reminds me of being home and I felt that these people like my family we go through this like you know adrenaline rush like cliff dive every night together honestly

it's just transformed the whole my whole world and I'm honestly like I think happiest I've ever been is like right now which is so that is the most I think that's the most amazing thing anyone could ever say this has been fab thank you so much for coming to talk to me you're very welcome so if everyone wants to find you you're at fairwindings on Instagram yes and Twitter and Facebook amazing

and I'll link you down below thank you so much thank you so much for having me thanks so much for listening guys and I will see you

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