Adulting - #76 Self Care with Natalie Lee

Episode Date: August 9, 2020

Hey podulters, I hope you’re well! This episode is brought to you in collaboration with M•A•C Cosmetics and their iconic Fix+ setting spray, the holy-grail of hydrating mists. Simply spritz to hydrate, refresh and set makeup. In this episode I speak to Natalie Lee, otherwise known as @stylemesunday, about self care and what that truly means to her in 2020. I hope you enjoy and as always please rate, review and subscribe. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Fandu Casino Daily Jackpots. Guaranteed to hit by 11 p.m. with your chance at the number one feeling, winning. Which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Daily Jackpots. A chance to win with every spin and a guaranteed winner by 11 p.m. every day. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario.

Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600. Or visit connectsontario.ca. Select games only. Guarantee void if platform or game outages occur. Guarantee requires play by at least one customer until jackpot is awarded. Or 11 p.m. Eastern. Restrictions apply. See full terms at canada.casino.fandu.com. Please play responsibly. Hey, podleters. I had a little break last week, but we're back now for the last episode of this season. Woo!

It has been a long one. We've gone straight through all the way through lockdown and I'm so pleased to have had this and that you guys have all been listening along. I appreciate it loads, but I think it is a bit of time for a little bit of a break. But before we go, I speak to the wonderful Natalie Lee or Star Me Sunday on Instagram about self-care and what that looks like for her. I hope you enjoy and I will see you in a few weeks or so. As always, please do rate, review and subscribe. Bye!

Hello and welcome to Adulting. This episode is brought to you in collaboration with MAC Cosmetics and their iconic Fix Plus Setting Spray, the holy grail of hydrating mists. Simply spritz to hydrate, refresh and set makeup. So my guest today, Natalie, you are all about self-care and fashion and makeup. But for people who don't know who you are, could you give us an introduction to you and Style Me Sunday and everything that you do? Hello and thank you so much for having me. I'm like really excited to be here and to talk you do. Hello and thank you so much for having me. I'm like really excited to be here and to talk to you. It's amazing. So I'm Natalie and I run a blog called Style Me

Sunday. I've been doing it for about eight years and I started when I was pregnant with my second daughter, started out as fashion. And now it is, well, everything really. Fashion, beauty. Yeah, there's just so many things. I talk about whatever is in my head, like diversity issues, sexism, you know, just just everything and I also do a podcast I also do events I also do speaking um you know things now and yeah I'm just very pleased to be here thank you so much for coming on I I love your work I love everything you stand for I think what it is it's like modern holistic wellness I think years, we used to look at wellness as being like

a green smoothie and going for a run. And now actually, when you really take charge and like take power of your life, you realize that it's in so many other spaces than just those kind of like really traditional ideas. How has your lockdown been? How are you getting on in this weird old time? My lockdown has been, well, very much like everyone else's that I'm hearing, very up and down. I will have moments of like despair and being like, oh my God, I just need to get out of this house and see people other than my family. And then, you know, some real beautiful moments have come out of this. I have reconnected with those close to me. I have, you know, maybe had time now to deal with things that I needed to deal with. And I wasn't necessarily, you know, in the room before because I was everywhere, you know, running around like a headless chicken,

going to appointments and events and doing the blog. And yeah, you know, it's just been, actually, it's been really nice to take a little step back and refocus my brain on the things that really needed my attention and the places I wanted to give my attention. It's so true. When you suddenly have that space for thinking, I've had the same as you, where you have some overwhelming moments of introspection, where kind of stuff comes up that you really haven't dealt with. And then also you've got the space to deal with it which is amazing because as you say normally life is just so full and busy that you kind of have five minutes to cram into the end of the day where you might do a bit of skincare or whatever um and that's the

only space that you have so what what is your kind of self-care looked like in in lockdown now what things have you really been making time for that you I guess you maybe didn't have before well I've had um quite a few daytime baths I love a bath first of all like water is my thing I'm a water baby and a daytime bath just feels so bloody decadent and indulging. I just love it. I have really been taking care of my skin. I have been taking the time to apply serums and oils and face masks and eye gels it just it just feels really like smooth and cared for and hydrated really hydrated which is great actually I've had a bit more time to experiment with makeup and do like some different looks which has been really nice

because normally when I put my makeup on I'm doing it in quite a rushed state so recently I've just been you know experimenting a bit more which is really nice. When you spoke about how your skin is really hydrated and supple that is exactly why I've been loving the limited edition MAC Fix Plus Vibe Setting Spray because you can just spritz on for that feel-good factor and hydrate and refresh your skin in one go, as well as it setting your makeup, which is just perfect. There are seven different Fix Plus Vibe scents inspired by colors, moods, and energies designed to give us good vibes. There's passion, vitality, play, balance, calm, awaken, and compassion. I personally have been loving passion, which is all about seizing the day with the power of strawberry and peach aromas to make us feel

enamored and electric, which right now is exactly the vibe I'm lacking. I don't know about you. I know that a thread of your content is talking about, or I think maybe this is what you started your blog was to talk about how like fashion actually is such a big representation of how we feel and how we express ourselves. And funnily enough, sometimes in lockdown, when I've been feeling a bit like sluggish and can't be arsed, in the middle of the day, I'll just go and do my makeup and put a nice outfit on just so I feel like I've got a bit of purpose. And did you feel that there was a moment of reclaiming when you when you started your blog and you spoke about fashion this way because we know that when it comes to things

pertaining to femininity often they're looked down on when actually I think there's so much power in them that yeah you're you're completely right I think what's lovely about like doing your makeup or wearing clothes that you choose to wear is like doing it for yourself and not doing it for the gaze of men or to appear attractive to whoever you're attracted to. And it's about reclaiming that power and the, you know, that sort of quiet knowing that you're doing this for you. And I think lockdown has just reinforced that for me. You know, I like doing my makeup and it doesn't matter who sees it. I'm doing it because I enjoy it. And I like, you know, experimenting and, and, and the, how it looks at the end. Um, yeah, I'm not doing it for anyone else. And that's been really lovely. And it's the same with clothes you know sometimes obviously I have like a lot of people

been in joggers and slippers for a lot of my lockdown um but also like the other day I put on this neon pink um beautiful dress and just wafted around the house in it and it felt bloody excellent and it really like helped to lift my mood and I've always done that with fashion as you say like it's for me fashion is all about the feeling and not about how you look to other people I think lockdown's definitely provided that space where you can tell like am I doing for me or am I doing for my conditioning loads of my friends have been talking about this when it comes to shaving or like removing body hair because some of us are still doing it and we're like oh my god maybe it is just because because no one's gonna know

and then some of my other friends have been like actually being in lockdowns made me realize that I don't really want to remove my body hair. And it's given us a really nice space away from normal society in a funny way, if you had to find like a silver lining, to really recognize what things am I doing for me and what am I doing for my conditioning. And I think your platform provides really amazing content on this front because you really do work, especially with women, to help them engage with, you know you know what am I why am I feeling this way whether it's about my body or my sexuality when did you start talking about that and was it always something you felt comfortable speaking about or was that something that you had to unlearn and kind of dive into um yeah I think I you're right I've definitely started talking about it more definitely in the last few couple of years, I would say. It hasn't been easy to do. I have definitely felt that like because I on my feed, I pose like, you know, semi naked quite a lot of the time, as you'll know. And that hasn't always

been easy to do. I had to really push myself to step outside my comfort zone. I remember the first time I ever posted a semi-nude picture on Instagram, I felt physically sick because I was so scared about the reaction that I would get. But I knew that it was something that was really fundamental to my growth in order, you know, that's the reason why I was posting it. And since then, it has really evolved and I can do it now much more freely. I don't feel sick when I post it or even talk about things that are not necessarily, you know, talked about often like female masturbation and things like that. You know, I've really had to push past my feelings, you know, the conditioning and the sense of shame that I've grown up with. It's really, really been a massive, massive learning curve for me, but very important because

I didn't want my children to be brought up the way I was, feeling ashamed of their body, hating their body. Because, you know, especially for females, as soon as we start breathing, you know, everything tells us to hate our bodies, to hate ourselves and to look for for external validation and that's something that I'm so passionate about changing um and my feed has really given me the I think the power and some real I don't know just just enabled me to really like stretch that muscle and push past it so would you say like that first image that you posted yourself was kind of you relinquishing yourself and feeling like you had to like pretend your body was something else it was just you going

like this is me and I and I accept it like moving towards that body acceptance was that kind of the the thing that you were trying to achieve because I know that I used to place bodies pitch to myself and I would stare at them for hours if there was like a tiny bit of back fat sticking out the back of my sports bra like the most ridiculous things and I completely agree that there's a certain level of liberation when you just go actually this is it this is just what I look like yeah was that the result for you yeah I think my main thing was worrying about what other people thought of me I was really you know that I've just I've just been conditioned we've all been conditioned to to to think about what other people think and I think for me the more I've posted and the more comfortable I've got in my

own skin, the less I'm worried now about what other people think of me. And that is so liberating. It's unbelievable. You know, it's just really lovely to have that sense of peace within yourself and knowing that you don't need anyone else's permission slip to do something you you're in charge of your own body and what you and your own actions and how you talk and that is so freeing and so wonderful and that's really developed when it comes to like your your mental well-being this is something I think I had a similar recognition where I realized that actually one of the best things you can do to feel good was just to allow yourself to be in all of your facets and I've always been told I'm loud or I'm too much and all of those things is that something that you used to get and then you try

and hide it because I feel like you're such a vibrant person I love following and you've got so much energy but as women we're often told that that's like the worst thing and that we must quiet ourselves down and shrink ourselves for other people absolutely and I think um that has you know from very early on females are definitely taught to be a good girl they're taught how they should act and what they should say and not say it too loudly and what they should wear you know there's so many messages that we're getting constantly that tells us to shrink ourselves to not be ourselves, to try and fit into this image of what a female should be and how they should act and behave. It's really difficult to break past that and understand that, you know what, it's actually, it's okay being me. I don't have to act how you want me to act. That's, you know, you can take that shit and you can run with that, but I'm not going to take

that on because I need to, I need to fulfill me. When you're raising your daughters now, how do you, it's really hard to think about being a mum and not instilling these same lessons because I know that my my mum definitely said or did things that would have encouraged my some of the behaviors that you're talking about not meaning to that was just society as you say we've all been conditioned the same what kind of things do you try to do to get try and get out of that minefield of having a bit having children that are going to feel all this sense of like you have to fit into this mold how do you get them to break free before they've even kind of got into it if that makes sense it's a really good question and it's really difficult I'm not going to lie I feel like I'm fighting fires every single day.

And, you know, a lot of it is just down to role modelling. I want to role model that they can be whoever and whatever they want to be. A lot of it is down to language. You know, we assume things as parents often and onto our children, and we have certain expectations that we don't even realise we're doing it. And I am really, you know, I'm really trying to check myself and not assume that my children are going to be a certain way. Let's talk about sexuality, for example. One of the things that is a bit of a pet hate with me is that everyone assumes that when they have a child, it's going to be heterosexual. And it's

just a basic assumption that we tend to think is the norm. know the norm so that's one of the things that I'm very careful not to assume with my children and we talk very openly about you know being able to love whoever you want to love and um I would never assume that they for example fancy boys at school that's that's just just being careful of the language you use around your children is really important but also things like um role modeling so you know I had a mother who was obsessed with the scales and with diets. And we had every single kind of diet food in our fridge. And she weighed herself every day and was obsessed with putting on weight. And that's one of the things I have battled very, very strongly to not role model to my children there's no scales in my house i'm incredibly passionate about um people using anti-diet culture language and um

being just being fattest and you know just being careful about how we talk in front of our children because they're soaking everything in all the time. We don't, even, you know, there's even times when I think they're not listening and I'll just test it out, you know, and say something controversial. And then instantly there ears prick up and they're like mum what did you say you know so um yeah they're soaking everything in and we have to be so careful and mindful about what we're showing and role modeling and my mum was exactly the same when it comes to the scales and I wonder if it's like a generational thing but it was like slim fast and diet culture was so normalized for them that they didn't I don't think she would she wouldn't have

even known and even now it's still a bit like those ideas are so ingrained in her um and we were all taught to be fat phobic from such young age and I think it is so incredible to try and strip yourself away from that and the same as you I went through years of really bad patches with disordered eating and trying to constantly lose weight and in fact I always thought but like I said at the beginning I always thought self-care would be if I was like the leanest I could ever be never went out didn't drink and actually it's it's turned out that self-care has been going out enjoying my time with my friends that can be such a big huge mindset shift for me did when you went through those periods did you have a similar kind of journey to getting where you were today yeah I think um for me the like lightning bolt came after I had my second daughter. And I was looking in the mirror at my body because your

body changes after you have children. And it's not really something that is, well, I mean, my eldest daughter is now turning 12 tomorrow. She, you know, when I was pregnant, you didn't really see postnatal bodies, postpartum bodies in the media or social media. It was still very quite stylized then and very idealistic. So I really struggled with my postpartum body and the stretch marks the um extra weight the flabby skin and and you know areas that just looked completely different from before children but you know I was just I was I remember. I mean, I broke down quite a lot about my body. I used to cry a lot about it. I was very, very down. I used to think that I could never, ever wear a bikini ever again in my life because no one should be inflicted with the sight of my body um and now I feel really sad about that woman who thought like

that but yeah I just I remember there was one moment when I was in floods of tears in the mirror naked looking at my body and then I remember just looking at my daughter who was sitting on the bed and I just thought, you know what, this is absolutely ridiculous. I don't want her to grow up and feel like I feel. If she was me and she was looking in the mirror at her beautiful, magnificent body that had born two children and, you know, what advice would I give to her? I have to really dig deep right now. And I've got to change that narrative because if my daughter felt like that I would be devastated so it was on me to change that and and I just went on a very very long journey of trying to unlearn the shit that I had been taught my whole life and yeah thankfully it's it. It's getting better. I think that you're never going to be 100% confident all the time. It's very up and down. But God, when I think back to those days of how much I hated myself and my body, I'm in a completely different place right now. That's so beautiful to hear that. And I love that that was like,

it was your daughter that made you have that realization. And I agree about what you were saying earlier about the messages that we absorb, because even I remember when I started following you, your photos are so beautiful. Like all that your nudes that you do, it was really artistic. And the way that you speak about yourself

is generally so kind. And I've realized that if you speak about yourself kindly and you see other people doing that then you start to start to shudder off a bit of that normalized idea of oh my god look at this and oh my god look at that whereas when I follow people that were often doing diets or were like fit like very very fitnessy and talking about cutting and shredding your narrative becomes the same it's always about what can I lose and what can I take away whereas when you start to engage with women and people who speak about themselves in a really kind way, everything seems so much nicer. And one of the, I think one of the best things you can do

for self-care is to change that inner voice in your head. But I would say that right at the beginning, it's kind of like faking it. But then you start to believe it because I remember I used to try and do that thing where I'd be like what's it called when you say um affirmations and I'd be like I am beautiful I'm great and you feel like an absolute dick but then after a while you're like actually this kind of I kind of believe it now you know you are completely right when I I made a vow to myself that I would thinking inside, but I could change what I was speaking. And you're completely right about faking it to an extent before you actually make it. And that's exactly what happened. I stopped myself speaking out loud. I didn't stop the thoughts, but the thoughts soon became quieter

and quieter and quieter and less and less and less. And another thing you said was about surrounding yourself with people who speak positively about themselves and how you start to absorb that. You absolutely do. And curating your feed feed because we spend so much time on social media these days is incredibly important you will absorb so much if you are very mindful about who you're following what they're saying what their message is you will absorb that and um you know just be very careful about the influences around you it's yeah you're completely right fandu casino daily jackpots guaranteed to hit by 11 p.m with your chance at the number one feeling winning which beats even the 27th best feeling saying saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Daily Jackpots.

A chance to win with every spin and a guaranteed winner by 11pm every day. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600. Or visit connectsontario.ca. Select games only. Guarantee void if platform or game outages occur. Guarantee requires play by at least one customer until jackpot is awarded or 11pm Eastern. Restrictions apply.

See full terms at canada.casino.fandu.com. Please play responsibly. So I came along to one of your events that you did with it's alana isn't it that's lana yeah you do your feeling your feeling myself event and it was amazing and i was so nervous so it's basically like group of women come together quite a lot of women and you have a talk really empowering panel, and then you do a dance. And I would say that I'm quite confident, but actually when it comes to dancing, I am so awkward and so robotic. But being in that room with that energy, with all those women, you just absolutely, I was almost crying because I think I said to you I'd had like the worst morning that morning, something had gone on in my private life and I was really upset. And I was like, I'm going to gonna go to this thing it'll be fine and by the end of it I was absolutely buzzing off the

walls because it's just this I'm smiling when I'm saying this because it's just so joyful to have this celebration of women everyone from every background different sizes different races like a real group of genuinely diverse women when not like the inverted commas diversity that we see online and that was so incredible is that kind of your looking forward when you want to be doing with your what your work is it that the kind of thing that you want to be creating more of these spaces absolutely and you're so right I was smiling just listening to you speaking about it like I had the biggest smile on my face and it's so lovely to hear you say that because that's exactly what I want to create and how I want to make people feel you know I I do feel like there is we kind of touched on this a little bit earlier, but there is a real lack of it being cool to say that you're

feeling yourself or that you are beautiful and you are amazing. You know, there's, it's also very un-British, I feel like, and I just want to really inspire people to build themselves and to celebrate themselves. And that's exactly what those events are doing. We're trying to get people to connect with themselves and their bodies and their souls again. And, you know, the dancing, the affirmations, the talking about releasing the shame and just celebrating everything about you is the vibe that we are trying to promote. And it's wonderful.

It's just wonderful to see it in real life happening and to see the changing people when they first come and then to how they leave. It's the most beautiful and fulfilling feeling that I have ever experienced in my life yeah and it's incredible to actually be in the room and in the space in real life and to lose your inhibitions amongst a group of strangers and just be really sweaty and and everyone's really cheering each other on and I feel like unfortunately because of internalized misogyny as women we often sometimes don't cheer each other on and we can't we're not fighting for each other because we're so conditioned to think there's not enough room for all of us and I think that plays into why we find it so hard to say, oh, I look really nice today, or be like, I love my dress, rather than if someone asks you where it's from, be like, oh my God, it was in the sale. Because we're worried that other people will be like, oh, who does she think she is? But actually,

that's because we're all kind of mirroring and projecting on each other. And I think that one of the best things you can do for yourself and for self-care is to be like I'm the only one that can make me feel amazing and then that translates to other people um but on on your online platform you're not just it's not just um fun and joy you also talk about really serious things and you do your Friday finger and as you spoke about you know postpartum bodies weren't a massive part of the online community. And also as a mixed race woman, you're a mother that wasn't necessarily platformed. Like the mummy blogging, if you want to call it that, industry before was very, very whitewashed. How did that feel coming into that? And do you feel like now that's something that's changing? Obviously, I I feel like it is but I wonder

how it feels from you and whether you still feel like you're fighting a bit against this whitewash media that we all kind of exist in um I'm nodding rigorously when you're talking by the way um yeah I feel like I feel like things are definitely changing I feel like with Black Lives Matter movement it has given some um some platforms that don't necessarily have the spotlight on them it's really highlighted them and that's amazing I feel like the whole mummy blogging um like arena was very white and it's brilliant that that's changing I feel like it's just about really a sense of belonging and feeling like you belong in the space is is really the hardest thing for me um and something that I've had to work really hard on and and trying to own that um but yeah I think I think it's definitely changing and getting better and we're seeing so much more diversity and inclusion now which is great

there's still a lot more work to do but I'm getting so many moments of celebrating the wonderful people around me and people of colour that are really getting to shine right now. And I'm so happy about it. And it's just so beautiful. Like seeing my peers, my black peers on this morning and good morning and, you know, in huge advertising campaigns, it makes my heart sing. It is just the most wonderful thing to witness I didn't have that when I was a kid and I didn't see black role models and people of color in magazines and that really affected my confidence my sense of, my aspirations. It's incredible now. And I'm so here for it. No, I completely agree. And I feel like you're a part of that, of giving this vision of like seeing is believing. It means you can do it. And I'm sure that little girls and boys will

look to your account. And that's kind of everything that you are really though. The fact that you are championing yourself as this whole woman, like you bring, you have everything and you bring it all I spoke about before you're not just presenting this effeminate ideal of beauty you do your Friday finger it's one of my favorite things I love it when women swear and when they're rude I just think it's great what when did the Friday finger start and what is it for people who don't know so every Friday I stick my middle finger up to whatever is basically pissing me off or something that I just want to challenge, you know, and have a voice about. I think, you know, as women, we can, we have this kind of, we press this perception onto women that they shouldn't swear, they shouldn't be loud, as we spoke about earlier, and they shouldn't be angry. And that annoys me, because I still do get quite a bit of backlash,

because I swear on my feed, and people think it's not very womanly. And I'm just like, well, you know exactly what my response to that would be. I just stick my middle finger up at them. It's okay to be angry. It's okay to be noisy. It's okay to have a voice and express your opinion. who told women that they had to be ladylike? And what is ladylike? You know, it's just such a misogynistic and tool to control us. And that's everything that I'm against. So that's basically what the Friday finger is is trying to do and I think for our own mental well-being we have to be able to express ourselves

and express how you're feeling because otherwise it comes up in resentment and I feel like that the way the more that you can express and create the happier you're able to be would you say that in terms of looking after your mental health and things like that how how good are you at tapping into those conversations and and looking into your inner well-being is that something that you're you're getting better at or do you choose I really want to go to therapy now I think all my friends are in therapy and I'm like oh my god I feel like it sounds incredible is that and is that something you do or thought about? Gosh, yes. That's so funny because I'm actually having therapy straight after this conversation. And I think it's incredibly important to be able to speak your mind.

You know, when you feel like you are handcuffed and not able to have a voice you know how how mentally challenging and you know it's just I I feel sorry for people that aren't able to speak their mind and be who they want to be that's that's not the way I want to live my life and you know um there's that whole I've been looking I fell down a rabbit hole the other day of the free Britney um movement and how she's being controlled well she was controlled by her record label and now her father and you know that it for me that is like the worst thing in the world not being able to do or speak how you feel and having somebody else controlling you is just that I can't think of anything worse than that it's an absolute nightmare yeah and I guess I think we also don't recognise sometimes

how much of our conditioning means that we are under these invisible strings. I've also read that Britney thing and it's wild. And I feel like some of my education around feminism and liberation and becoming this woman I want to be was shaking those shackles of the patriarchy that we live under that has these invisible rules telling us like who we need to be and who our bodies are for and again going back to this idea about um freedom of expression through makeup and fashion there was a point in my life when I was like oh I'm not going to wear makeup because you know this whole idea about how

like natural women are are better and there's some kind of like hierarchy to it and then you realize that again it's just another means of controlling women and however you want to express yourself whether that's naked or with makeup or no makeup you've got to find what drives you forward and I think we're getting to the point now where in certain obviously not all over the world but like in certain pockets of the internet I just think oh my god women are amazing it just feels like we're in charge yeah absolutely and um and that's that's the beauty of social media I think you know for all of its faults um I you know sometimes I will stumble across something or someone and I will just be cheering and celebrating and I'm like yes that is what it's for you know these are the people we weren't seeing or

hearing from and how wonderful it is that they've got a platform and they're able to express themselves and we're able to be inspired by them it's just yeah it's wonderful I love it what what's your with with social media and and how you're going with it now apart from everything that you're doing what are your other do you have any big exciting projects that you're working on or anything it's really hard to think in lockdown I feel a bit creatively stifled because you're just kind of around the same people the whole time but do you have any big projects that you're working on at all yeah so um the feeling myself events that I do with Alana um from Dancebox they we are doing a online version now we're doing um actually it's like a after out we're about to do an after hours one like um so that's

going to be more about sex and we're going to talk about solo sex masturbation and the shame around sex um and just getting women to feel liberated and open enough to be able to talk about all of those things. Other things that I'm doing is I am, well, hopefully I'm going to be writing a book soon. I am in the process of writing a proposal and fingers crossed somebody like picks it up and and wants to work with me but um yeah congratulations that's huge can you tell us what it's going to be about was that top secret hush hush well it's just going to be um about my journey and and it's going to be about inspiring other people I've got a very I've got a very good story to tell. I've got lots of life lessons to divulge and give to people.

So, yeah, I can't tell you too much, obviously, but it's going to be really, really good. And I'm hoping it's going to be life-changing for people who read it so fingers crossed oh my god I'm 100% certain that will get picked up and it will be absolutely amazing um I would love to hear if you have any like what are your top five self-care tips or things that you could share I know I just put you on the spot but if you had to think like what are the things that make you feel like how do you make sure you're giving yourself enough care because I know as women we often are the caregivers and we forget to look after ourselves that's a good

question how do we make sure I think for me one of the best things I can do for myself is just giving myself some time to pause. I think one thing about lockdown has been doing like five or ten minutes, I call it meditation but I don't know if it really is meditation, it's just about putting my phone down, you know asking the children not to disturb me and just having the space to think whatever I want to think without being interrupted every two seconds. That's been a lovely time. And it's also been my most creative time is it's, it's beautiful. So I would encourage anyone to, if they can just take five minutes or 10 minutes out of their day to just sit and just pause, literally just pause. Um, some other, um, self-care tips is doing things for you. I think, I think it's very important to make sure that you are not pouring from an empty cup and making sure you're actually doing things that satisfy fulfill and yeah make you feel good

and for everyone that's really different so I don't don't want to sort of say what that should be because yeah it's different for everyone. I completely agree self-care is is so different for every single person I think that's why it's so important to recognize that that can be big or small and I really do see makeup as a part of that which I didn't really used to understand before the importance of recognizing the power of the day-to-day things rather than necessarily thinking that, you know, it has to be mindfulness. Even though those things are so important, it can sometimes be in those little day-to-day rituals you have, whether that's putting on your makeup or doing your hair or just making yourself feel fabulous. I think that that is always a form of self-care. And sometimes we need to recognize more the power and, you know, those kind of like feminine things

that sometimes we feel like aren't as important, but they definitely are. Sometimes I think we just need someone to give us the okay, that it's okay to do something for us. Do you know, you know, sometimes you feel like you need permission just to take that break. I think the only other thing that I would say that you you've taught me is I've especially in lockdown gone through a really weird period where I used to exercise all the time and I've kind of lost it and then I remembered coming to your dance um session and I was like oh my god I'm just going to learn a TikTok dance and I got so sweaty and I danced for ages and I was like oh I love this and I found that exercise sometimes can be so draining and I just suddenly ages and I was like oh I love this and I found that exercise sometimes can

be so draining and I just suddenly remember that it doesn't have to be like the classic workouts we see that movement is fun in of itself and that was something that you and Alana really kind of taught me in that session so thank you yeah you're right actually that's a really good point I love dancing and And it's one of those things that you do. And you just don't look at the time. You don't look at what you're doing, how long you've got until it's over, which you often do with a lot of exercise. And you're just doing it because you really enjoy it. You know what? I've got one other self-care tip, and we haven't really talked much about it, but solo sex, masturbation is one of my key self-care things that I do just to look after myself. And I have, you know, the more you're able to connect with your body and give yourself pleasure, I find that it's good for mindfulness.

It's really good for confidence as well. You know, the more orgasms I've been able to give myself, the more my confidence has increased. So, yeah yeah I think that's a very good self-care tip give yourself more orgasms such a good tip and I read was it on your story this morning you had a dm from a woman who's like I'm 75 my husband passed away but I give myself so many orgasms and I feel great or something like that was that today yes it was yeah it was and and she was and it was just wonderful you know to hear that kind of feedback yeah it's great completely I love that and yeah a female pleasure

is so important because it just does not get enough air time and I think even just sometimes hearing someone say those words out loud can be a window to a whole new world for people that have previously felt that shame around it. But yes, thank you so much for joining me. And I would recommend that everyone come and follow you on Instagram because you do talk about these things a lot more and go into a lot more depth over on Style Me Sunday. What else would you like to point people in the direction of where they can find you? No, basically my Instagram is my main thing now you know I find everything else is too much hard work so yeah come and find me over on instagram and let's have a conversation I'm

very open I'm very honest and um hopefully you enjoy my content oh well amazing thank you so much for joining me this morning Natalie and I hope you all enjoyed listening it's been absolutely wonderful to talk to you lovely thank you so much thank you so much for listening this special episode of adulting was brought to you in collaboration with map cosmetics bye We'll be right back. by 11 p.m. with your chance at the number one feeling, winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Daily Jackpots, a chance to win with every spin and a guaranteed winner by 11 p.m. every day.

19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Select games only. Guarantee void if platform or game outages occur. Guarantee requires play by at least one customer until jackpot is awarded or 11 p.m. Eastern. Restrictions apply.

See full terms at canada.casino.fandu.com. Please play responsibly.