Adulting - #87 The Sun, Living Your Best Life & F*ck Boys with Dr Emily Forbat

Episode Date: December 20, 2020

Hey Podulters, I hope you're well! In this week's episode I speak to my big sister, Emily. We talk about the importance of sun lotion, the inevitability of death and how to avoid a fuck boy.I hope you enjoy, as always please do rate, review and subscribe,O Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600. Or visit connectsontario.ca. Select games only. Guarantee void if platform or game outages occur. Guarantee requires play by at least one customer until jackpot is awarded. Or 11 p.m. Eastern. Restrictions apply. See full terms at canada.casino.fand you're well. In this week's episode, I have a very special guest. It is my big sister, Dr. Emily Forbat. So we discussed the three things she wishes she was taught in school and they range from sun damage to avoiding fuckboys. I love speaking to my sister. It's very chatty and we do talk over a little bit because I guess just the familiarity of family.

But I really hope you love the conversation. I've been wanting to talk to her for ages and I really enjoyed it and I think it's a lovely listen. She does have an Instagram if you want to follow her. It's DrEmilyForbat but she hasn't been posting on it as much at the minute and you'll hear about that in the episode. But yes, I hope you enjoy and as always, please do rate, review and subscribe. Bye! hello and welcome to adulting today i'm joined by dr emily forbat hello so for people who don't know who you are do you want to give us an introduction um so i am anoni's big sister um and i'm a doctor what kind of doctor I'm a dermatologist so dermatologist in training which means that I'm a trainee and they train me up to be a consultant so I'm almost there I'm an ST5 and basically I became a doctor I think seven or eight years ago now and then I've been working

my way up ever since. And you just did your final exam and smashed it no well just last exam ever okay so as you know this season I'm asking everyone what three things they wish that they were taught in school yeah and very topical to what you just said your number one thing was you wish you've been taught how dangerous the sun really is I know I really wish that when we were young do you not remember we used to go we used to always go to Spain every year and genuinely Noni and I so our big sister gets really nice and tense or olive skin and we are as white as white you're whiter than me well anyway we would spend 12 hours a day honestly I would lay there and just burn myself to a crisp well I wasn't as bad because I Tiffany and you used to get up really early and go you got up at 6am literally and then I would always sleep in because I was younger and then you would miss lunch because

you'd be like so I've got another 20 minutes on my back and you would rotate like rotisserie chickens I can't believe I did that now but I wish somebody just said to me now like when I was 18 or even you know younger we were like 14 what are you doing it's so dangerous but we didn't really understand back then I don't think we did but we didn't but I think even now like loads of my friends or people get sunbeds because you just kind of think it can't be that bad I think it's a huge um cultural thing isn't it because as much as someone will say to you oh you know don't sunbathe you might get skin cancer one day you think oh well it's never going to happen to me or it will happen when I'm 60 so I won't care but you know you've got a lot of living to do even at the age

of 60 you don't really want to be having things cut out or you know a lot of sun cancers skin cancers can kill you so was what do you want to talk about why you got into dermatology was it down to learning this about the skin no so I had a bit of a funny I never wanted to be a dermatologist all throughout my training I wanted to be a surgeon and all of my jobs leading up to where I am now were very much acute jobs I used to do a lot of A&E I did anaesthetics and IT and I absolutely loved it and I always thought I was going to be an obstetrician and then you you kind of do your first years of being a doctor and everyone basically has a year out because you think I do not have a clue what I want to do and you have to kind of sub your first two years of being a doctor and everyone basically has a year out because you think I do not have a clue what I want to do and you have to kind of

sub-specialize at that point and in that year out I thought I didn't really know I decided between plastic surgery and dermatology and dermatology is quite nice because it's so broad so you're a doctor a physician first and foremostly so you're a diagnostician so you're kind of doing detective work you know everything presents on the skin so um you know there's thousands and thousands of diagnoses that you need to know about so you're never bored really but at the same time you get to do a lot of surgery which is quite unusual um you have that in obstetrics as well um but most specialties are either a surgeon or a doctor when you say year out, though, it wasn't year out. You mean you just took a year out? I took a year out of training, but I was still working.

But a lot of people kind of have a breather and think, right, what do I really want to do? So I didn't know this as well until you went into dermatology. Because I think loads of people think it's literally just looking at moles and cosmetic stuff. But actually, it's eye-glam for me. It's super interesting. There's no... If you're an NHS dermatologist, you don't know anything about cosmetics, really. I mean, it's a-glam for me it's super interesting there's no if you're an NHS dermatologist you don't know anything about cosmetics really I mean it's a very small part of your curriculum being a dermatologist in the NHS means that you you do do a lot of skin cancer

clinics that's the most important thing skin cancer is on the rise and there's a huge amount of it especially as people are living longer um so that is a big part of it and you do have your bread and butter things like eczema and psoriasis and acne but a lot of it as a trainee is on-call dermatology so you know people in hospital come in with blistering skin conditions or skin conditions which may signify something going on internally so it's a lot more than that so people just often think oh sometimes people don't even realize that you're a doctor and you have to explain actually I don't because I know they often ask me to diagnose them your skin is the biggest organ in the body isn't it right it is and you were saying like even with Covid loads of stuff yeah lots of Covid we've seen a lot of Covid um so that's

interesting I mean obviously it's so new that everyone's learning about it but you know people who get COVID we're learning have lots of different skin rashes one of them being COVID toes I think dad had COVID toes COVID toes we call them COVID toes make sure he's not just got gross feet no no they well that too but um you get blue toes really looks like you've got chill blames but it's um it's not real chill blames it's to do with covid and it can be a presenting feature so going back to the skin cancer sunbathing section of the podcast i think um no no that's really good to go off topic but i think that i'm really worried now because we our mum when we were growing up used to sunbathe all the time

didn't she because she grew up in the era of like not knowing i remember when i used to get spots she'd be like let's just get a sunbed yeah I was never allowed thinking because I used to sit with you do you remember you'd go after school and you'd both get 10 minutes and I was so jealous because I wasn't 18 and that was the worst thing because I used to tan my face so much I think because I suffered with acne and that's another thing that's an old school idea isn't it yeah but people know I think even mum didn't realize that it was a medical problem so I was never taken to a GP and I just suffered and suffered and suffered with it I think I think even mum didn't realise that it was a medical problem. So I was never taken to a GP and I just suffered and suffered and suffered with it. I think people are more aware now about it.

Maybe we're talking, you know, 20 years ago. Well, not quite, I'm not that old actually. 15 years ago. And yeah, so my face tans so well because I've just bathed it with the sun which is horrific because you forget that not only does it cause sun damage in terms of wrinkling and skin cancer most importantly I mean what's the point in having a beautiful tan if in 10 years time you're going to have a massive scar on your face because you know by the time you cut a skin cancer out you have to take a healthy margin of tissue and you know it can be quite deforming the scars that are left um but not only that is it

makes your skin saggy but not only that you lose elasticity and that is such a you wouldn't notice it now by the time you're my age you'll go oh you should have listened to me but um didn't what doesn't it make your scars worse in the sun like don't scars get worse in the sun rather than better because I thought that was an old school idea where they thought that if you blast your skin like the acne no I think it's the sun does help certain skin diseases so like psoriasis often people with psoriasis will go and have uv light treatment other inflammatory disorders you know it does help but that's a controlled sunbed so you know they're measuring your skin type working out how much you can tolerate and even then if you have

over a certain amount you might need to have a yearly skin check to assess for skin cancer so there are there is a time and a place where you need to have uv light therapy and the benefit can outweigh the risk but if you're going to a sunbed you know down the street that is first of all uva rays which are very dangerous and and doesn't have uvb rays and they're not controlled so you have absolutely no way of knowing the amount that you're getting so it's going to do nothing for you because what I didn't realize we've always loved a tan because our mums always loved a tan also like you said it's quite like a British thing because it's such like a cold climate so you don't get tan but you were saying any form of tan is sun damage well essentially you you know

you have melanocytes in your skin and depending on your skin type you might be more prone to becoming more tan so if you are olive skin and you just pick up and you pick up the sun you're less likely to get sun damage than someone like me for example who's very fair you know i've probably got the fairest skin type you have so it's your body's defense against the sun. You're effectively creating little umbrellas, if you imagine, in your skin to stop the sun, the damaging rays coming through and prevent the cells getting so damaged that they become a skin cancer. Does that make sense?

Yeah, no, that's a really good example. So I think the thing is people think, oh, well, it's just a healthy glow. And there really isn't any real, you know, I don't believe in a healthy glow. If you've got a tan tan then there's sun damage there ultimately we have I've got factor 50 on now and it's the middle of December because you make me wear it all the time and also putting enough on I mean that's the other thing so if you were to really cover your body from head to toe in the sunscreen say theoretically you were going out into the sun, then you should use like 36 tablespoons. Hello, sorry, this is a quick fact check.

Emily said 36 tablespoons, but she actually meant 36 grams, which equates to six teaspoons. So I just wanted to add that in there so that we didn't get that wrong. We were just excitedly talking. So there go go back to listening and enjoy I mean as it's like a whole bottle people just yeah so we know that we don't use it correctly so people go for oh I think I only need you know a lower factor but you're better off because we know people don't apply it correctly using a higher factor and not only just a high factor needs to have a broad spectrum uva rating as well because people forget you know if you're oh i don't go outside it's like well

how did you get here then so if you're going in a car you will get uva rays coming through a car window so you need to have sun cream which has got uva protection and lots of people don't realize that you know like have you seen that picture of the lorry driver yeah one side of the face is so wrinkly yeah so yes i wish somebody had said to me, I mean, it's my favourite thing in the world, if you get a young girl coming into clinic, say they're kind of 15 and then they have a skin check and it's just like the perfect opportunity to hopefully prevent them.

Like, oh, if only someone told me that then. Most importantly, to prevent them from having skin cancer, but also from an anti-aging perspective because it's true we spend so much money on creams and people end up getting photos and stuff and like you don't actually need to pay for that if you just the best cream you can invest in is a it doesn't matter which sunscreen you use but a sunscreen that you're happy to use every day put it on your face your ears your neck the backs of your hands and if you know if you're a man I mean my fiance goes mad he's he's always out and about because of his hands and if you know if you're a man I mean my fiance goes

mad he's he's always out and about because of his job and he's got no hair so I'm just making you know slather his head on my favorite one is the skin suitable one that I wear to moisturize but it's quite expensive yeah um that was very informative thank you I'm sure you're welcome have questions afterwards okay so the second thing that you said that you've been wished that you were taught in school you have to explain what you mean to me you said how to really live life and not waste it it's a good one but I want to know what you mean by that so what do I mean by that I wish I'd um prepped for this so what I mean is is when you go to school everyone's oh what are you going to do you know what do you want to be and all this kind of stuff no one actually talks to you about why you're doing it so what you know I in my I think I've spent a lot

of time doing this I've just got to get this exam done I've just got to get this piece of coursework done get through this block of on calls and then I can enjoy life xyz and then before you know it I'm 31 I'm thinking bloody hell that's all that time ago, I'm so old. And so what I mean is, is that living your life is just in that moment, not like wishing for tomorrow, is in that exact moment, whatever you're doing, even if it's the most mundane thing, you know, in your life, that you're enjoying it. Because, I mean, before I did dermatology, not so much now,

we don't really get this, but when I was a junior doctor, I don't know why, I just always, I think I've had, well, all doctors have a fair share of kind of sad um stories and we often don't we talk about the funny ones we don't talk about the sad ones because it's too difficult but I do just remember of those sad stories people who are dying and you talk to them just before they're dying they always try and give you it's funny like well obviously some of them are too sick to do it but it's normally like in the weeks leading up to whatever and they just always

say you know your life is just so short and I know it's such a everyone says it but they always say you know who cares no one's gonna go oh yeah they were an amazing dermatologist an absolute arsehole do you know what I mean yeah you'd rather be known for who you are and like actually living your life you know it could be so quick you one minute you're you know fine and then you're in a massive car crash and then that's it so what's the point in waiting yeah I haven't explained it very well but I love it you always tell me those stories about how you'll be with like a really little old woman and she'll be like don't have any regrets just do whatever you want to do like you'll never regret the things you did you'll only ever regret all the things

that you didn't do and also wasting I mean I'm the worst for it because I say this but I think it's because I find it hard to live by it so if something quite um drastic happens or really you know signifying at work and then I'll think god I really do need to just enjoy life and live it but then you forget and then life just carries on and it goes as normal but before you know it you you are 60 and that's the thing I think it's such a privilege I think in my work I'm given so much more room to like really find the joy because I get so much freedom as I think with your job you literally don't stop I mean you've had to stop now because Emily's yeah having to take time for work because you've got

long Covid we can talk about it later but um you I think you're so back to back and so busy that like lots of people it's such a privilege to actually be able to stop and be like oh my god like take it all in but I think once you start realizing that you can do that then it helps like Jo your fiance's really good at being like that isn't it yeah that's what made you a bit more like that as well well no he is generally a very positive person and yeah he does live in them but he can because he's well yeah it's difficult isn't it I don't know there's been certain things that happen that make you really think oh I always remember when I worked in intensive care this is going back a few years ago and actually it was the old SARS pre you

know the SARS one and there was a patient who was a multi I mean he was a billionaire um but he had a I think I can say this because I'm not kind of giving anything away but it's just an example of things where you think gosh this is what is really important um and he was a billionaire and he had a pre-existing lung condition and he got really unwell so he was absolutely obviously desperate if you got all that money you just want to buy your health right so you know there was this big thing about how they're like well we'll put him on a private jet and he'll come over and he could go on this special um treatment and would he be able to go on the lung transplant list and all this stuff and what was really sad about it is he had every single um kind of means to have that in terms of like wealth so he could have

bought the whole hospital probably but if you you have to be a certain level of healthy for you know for being fit enough to have a lung transplant for example I don't I can't remember the exact thing what it was and there's nothing they could do because he just he would not survive that so it's like he was he was trying to buy his life I believe that he you think money can buy you anything yeah I think what I'm trying to say yeah your health you realize when it comes down to it the the most wealthy people are those who are healthy until you kind of are unwell you don't really realize how lucky you are to be able to just walk down the street and not be in pain or you know not have a chronic illness I can't even imagine what it's like these people who just suffer and they keep going that is really

interesting to look like that and I think that it's funny because I've done a podcast before about success where I was talking to Louise Troen we're saying how everyone always puts everything down to money yeah realistically like if you've got an un you could be the richest person in the world but if you've got an unhappy relationship and like exactly you don't have people that around you that are going to look after you like what's the point exactly there's actually no point like if um hopefully one day we have children and I was at a really good I'm sure lots of people have seen this but at school I would much rather teachers say oh you know um I don't know what the name would be oh what to the child yeah to the child I don't know just like

role play she doesn't want to say the name in case someone knows oh yeah everyone steals my baby names it's really annoying I'm also not pregnant just putting it out there um but I'd much rather they say oh little so-and-so she's struggling a bit with maths but she is just the loveliest little girl or something like that she's a really kind person but that's so much more important yeah like oh well she's got an A star in maths but she's an absolute I can't swear on her can I can swear but no I agree but also I think that's our generation because I feel like our parents are brought up which is so important because that generation wanted you to be able to work hard and achieve and like yeah do really well I think it's a privilege to be able to be like look I just want I just want them to be happy that is a privilege

me saying that's how I know what you mean like obviously you have to work hard as well as long as they work that's the thing I think if you teach someone to work hard then that's what's important yeah whereas I thought I had to get I mean you literally do get A stars in everything you do to this day she got like 99% Emily when you did your GCSEs was like I can't look it's too stressful when we were on holiday in Spain I looked and it was literally like 11 A stars and then the next year she brought I failed everything then it was pay levels and they didn't do A stars back then but it was all A's and then recently she was like I'm gonna defo fail this exam but I do believe that I failed and then she sends it over and it's like 96% 99% 98% and this has been going on for 10 years I think for that it's because the so in when you're a doctor the sad thing is you have to do

yeah I mean I've been doing exams for 14 13 years and you have to pay for them all yourself which is so sad so you don't want like if I fail it it's going to cost me a small fortune yeah that is wild yeah what other good stories do you have from because you mentioned earlier that you were going to do obs because you did your bsc and obs and gynae didn't you not my bsc so I did I did um a job so I did you have to say you did your BSc in Ops and Gynae didn't you? Not my BSc so I did I did a job so I did you have to say you do your normal degree your medical degree. What was your BSc? Yeah you are right my BSc it wasn't it was in maternal and fetal health and I loved like labour and delivery I found it so fascinating now I've gone the other way and absolutely terrified from the things I've

seen and I remember seeing this title and being like this is what I'm going to do it and it was like evacuatory problems um in women postpartum who've had third and fourth degree tears so I was thinking in my head well evacuatory that means that the baby's not coming up that's really fascinating but actually it was all to do with these poor women who'd have you know like third and fourth degree tears all the way through to your perineum yeah um and then they couldn't do a poo and all that kind of problem and um so then I spent all this time like oh it was just very I mean yeah it was very interesting as in you know they would have connections between their vagina and the anus so then like they might poo out of their vagina it's really I mean this is rare this is, I can't remember what the percentage incidence is.

It's low. It's like 1% or something. But it is quite scarring when you're doing that for a while. But yeah, I loved it. I found it really interesting. Because when I read This Is Going To Hurt by Adam Kay, you were like, thank God you've read it. Now you know what my life is like.

Because you were like, it's so realistic. It's such a good representation. Because I think people have this idea that if you're a doctor, then everyone's like really nice to your work and all the doctors here and it's just hilarious because everyone's just like treats you like shit half the time and you're just I don't know because you'd always tell me you're like literally something happens like if a patient dies you're like get in a cupboard and cry and then you get how to pretend that like nothing's happened yeah well I think there's not time which is the really sad thing I think people think doctors don't get upset

though I think they think like oh't get upset though I think they think like oh you've trained yourself some are very good at it I'm the worst I can't I remember when I worked in Canterbury and I was only very junior but there was such um there wasn't much senior support there so when you work in like a DGH so district general as opposed to like a big teaching hospital often you carry a lot more responsibility as a junior than as a kind of more senior doctor and I remember it was horrific this family like rushed in thinking that the family member was still alive and we'd been doing like CPR they'd been in arrest for ages and and they weren't going to make it and they'd just been told oh they're in you know they're in recess and you just assume don't you that they're oh how are they are they fine I

remember they came and they had all this expectation and they were young that this family member fine I remember that awful moment of having to tell somebody that you know not only they're not fine they then they're not they've not made it but then you which is horrific and obviously for them more so that's why you get upset but then you've got the rest of your shift to do so you might you'll say it I I mean, I am the worst. I find it really hard to distance myself. I'm crying myself. So I would be so bad.

No, I also get like tears in my eyes as well. So it looks like I'm crying even when I'm not crying, which is sad. I do that as well when I'm talking about something that I find funny or interesting. I start crying. Yeah. No, that is. Yeah, you do have a little cry and then you just carry on. But some people are amazing.

They don't. I'm really good at compartmentalising. So something really awful will happen and then I will literally kind of put it to one side and carry on and then I will deal with it at a later point. Yeah, I can't do that. I just wear my emotions on my sleeve. Yeah, you do do that, don't you?

Right at the surface, ready to come up? Especially if I'm drunk. Love! Yeah, you do. What I was going to say, but it's interesting because, like, the hours that you work. So, for instance, when I was younger, not that Dad was a glamorous doctor,

but Dad is a doctor, I used to think, like, being a doctor was such a glamour. It was like, everyone was like, you could be a doctor or a lawyer. It was, like, one of the top jobs. It's, like, the worst thing ever. Do not let your child be a doctor. You can't be a doctor.

I would never let my child be a doctor. Would you not? No. Well, I say that. So, I've gone too far. I'm in too deep doctor. I would never let my child be a doctor. Would you not? No. Well, I say that. So I've gone too far. I'm in too deep now. I just can't. I'm almost there.

I might as well finish it. There's times when you wanted to quit. There's so many more amazing things you can do. I think the way the NHS is at the moment, you do just get work to the bone. I mean, I'm lucky in what the career I've chosen has got a lot better work life balance than others but you know if you work in Australia or America I think you get treated a

lot better but that's more because the NHS is underfunded rather than yeah that NHS isn't good because when mum was in us it was like she loved it like the stories of her in the hospital so amazing sounds like yeah it's a different thing but then I think I mean the NHS is incredible like you cannot really falter like if you're if a family member is truly sick you know if they've had a massive car accident or need cancer treatment I don't think there's really any other health service in the world that can is comparable in terms of when you really really need it I think people get frustrated with it when they need it for things that aren't yeah so you know if you're urgent yeah they are urgent because it affects their quality of life hugely but it it you know because it's trying to concentrate so much on those life-saving treatments or things that are you know the core of um medicine I think

those things to have to kind of fall by the wayside because, I mean, it's amazing to think that you can walk into an A&E and just get treated without having to pay. It's ridiculous to think about that. People have no idea, you know, what things cost. What would you wish that people would know? Because like, I remember just being so shocked at the sheer amount of hours you would do. Like, you would, I remember the saddest thing was once Emily had a weekend off for the first time in like months and months and months. And you finished like a 48 hour shift because you've been made to work overtime and then you were meant to go on this weekend you were meant to get on a flight somewhere and you were so tired that she just slept she just passed out for like 12 hours and we were all ringing her

and we were like oh my god she's died and her phone had just fallen down the side and she was so tired she missed it because you just because sometimes you'd be working and think you were going to come off and then there wouldn't be another doctor and they'd be like sorry you're gonna have to stay and obviously you stay yeah well that doesn't happen I don't think they really let you do that so much now so it is better now I think patients just don't realize so obviously for example for what I do now mainly I'm either doing a surgical list or a clinic and so it is annoying for patients you'll you always get you get the most amazing little old grannies who I just want to take home with me and they will sit there for like five

hours and not complain I just love them so much and then you get these young you know and quite entitled people who often have nothing wrong with them and they're the ones that complain so you know it is annoying you turn up you get told your appointment's at 10am and then you get seen an hour and a half late but what they don't see is that as a doctor you will get in an hour earlier you won't even have time to probably go to the loo and you just work what works it's just so understaffed and you'll be seeing these patients and then you will go straight from a morning clinic into an afternoon clinic won't have time to go have lunch really or if you have lunch you eat it over five minutes and you're also whilst doing a clinic will be on call so you know I'll have to see patients during a clinic and then

normally you're holding a bleep so if there is an emergency you have to kind of somehow figure out you know you have to prioritize and work out you know the really bad ones you see straight away for example um or when you're going to see them so I think patients just see that they're they're waiting and you can understand it's really annoying they're like I've been waiting here for an hour and a half um but I don't think they quite see the pressures that you're under because you're making you know in a day I make hundreds and hundreds of decisions and luckily because I'm still a trainee it's so nice that you I'm constantly asking the consultant because that's your one time to learn so I always ask questions because you'll always learn some sort of nugget of information, even if

you think, you know, the answer, they've, you know, they've been experienced, been doing it for years and years and years, but it's a lot of pressure, like, if you make a wrong decision, and you send someone home who's got a melanoma, you know, you, I think it's made that mistake. It's also, I think that's definitely true, that we don't see the pressures and that's really because even I've been there before like if I'm waiting to go and get a pill or something yeah I get such hard connecting oh my god I've been there for like hours but actually forget that when they forget yeah so when they get in you've got like you know you'll have like hundreds year old walk in and then you've got to check the skin all over it takes like half an

hour to take the clothes off and then they make me to have a break and then you're like okay you can't like rush them it's just saddest thing in the world and then so you've got to examine them then if they've got something there that looks worrying then you'll need to take a photograph you have to get consent for the photograph then you'll have to book them for surgery you have to take a thorough history obviously to make sure and work out because often you know people say oh can you just quickly look at this it's not anything quick about it like I need to know what you do for a living I need to know all your social history your past medical history your medication allergies do you have the pacemaker there's a whole load of things you've got to ask and yes it is focused and you get quicker as you're more

experienced but there's a lot going on and then you might need to put them a scan you might need to put them blood tests you might need to organize some type of biopsy there and then there's often like a million things going on behind that door and then they've got to get dressed again that takes another hour. And you're like... with every spin and a guaranteed winner by 11 p.m every day 19 plus and physically located in ontario gambling problem call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca select games only guarantee void of platform or game outages occur guarantee requires play by at least one customer until jackpot is awarded or 11 p.m eastern research and supply see full terms at canada.casino.fandu.com please play responsibly do you think that people having access to google has made your job easier

or harder like do you think that some people are able to look at stuff on Google and go, oh, it's fine? Or do you think they do what I do, which is think I'm dying every five minutes? I suppose they've always had it since you've been a doctor. Yeah, I think I haven't noticed it as much because we've grown up with it. So you're used to patients being more empowered and having more knowledge. Is it not annoying when they come in there and they're like, this is what I would do? And be like, so I've definitely got yeah um no I don't find it annoying because I understand the anxiety there yeah so but it's trying often people do have like a fixed belief and they're

like no it's definitely this and you're like trying to explain to them why but that's not often the case often actually it's actually not as big a cohort as you would think most people still do come in and I think you're very anxious when you go to the doctor because that's like a mass I forget that I'm seeing one of you know so many patients in a day and this they'll be probably thinking about for two weeks why have I got skin cancer so for them it's a really big thing and um you know it's a lot of anxiety that comes they don't know whether I'm going to turn around and say you know sometimes the worst some people come in I have to say look we think this is a melanoma we need to get this off now and they might die from that so yeah people you know it's natural to kind

of um catastrophize and think the worst thing's going to happen this is why you're a doctor because you've got this so empathetic in this situation I would say so bitchy I mean no don't get me wrong people piss me off but on the whole I'm like no I must understand so when just quickly I want to circle back to this question absolutely quickly but going back to really living your life are there any small things that you've implemented that make you feel like you're living your life so I think it's just about I mean I'm sure everybody does this but this is my like thing that I do is just trying to enjoy whatever it is that I'm doing. So even if it's the most mundane thing,

like, even if, you know, you're going for a walk with your friend, that might become, like, the most important memory because you might never see that friend again. Do you know what I mean? Everything circles around someone dying with you. Yeah, but that, it's true. But I think that it does for me because I've seen so much of it. Yeah, so true.

I've seen so much death and it sounds so morbid, but you just don't know when you're gonna pop your clogs but that's why you can never have an argument and not make up as well yeah and you always have to say love you even if you're in a fight which is what we do yeah through gritted teeth yeah bitch um yeah no I think that's what I'm not very eloquent I'm probably not the right person to are you're such a good guest I'm loving this conversation it's really interesting okay um but I didn't really oh yeah it's hard to explain it Joe would be better explaining it he's very good at living his best life. I think you're explaining really well I think basically you're so

right that every aspect of your life is geared towards the next goal so when you're at school it's like we've got to get you to C's then it's your a levels then it's your degree then after your degree you've got to get your job and then once you get your job and it's constant yeah and you think oh they've done that when I retire yeah actually you realize that life isn't about completing things you're always going to be have moments of happiness and sadness and struggles and difficulties and so you know it's never going to be plain sailing if even if you're you know we used to always say oh I always actually it's one of my favorite things to do like if I won the lottery I would buy this this and this and like not for me for everybody else like have this you know you always have this conversation

about what we work out how much money we give for mom and dad yeah and then we get really excited and we get dropping around the keys like the Aston Martin all this kind of stuff anyway and then you're like oh and then life would be fine but actually you realize that no nothing probably changes it might be a bit easier in the sense that you don't have to worry about paying for certain things but but emily honestly genuinely buys a lottery ticket every week and every week tells me that she's gonna win genuinely we have dreams i do all the time where we think about because all we ever want to do is like make sure our mum and dad are like safe and happy so we're like we'll get them a house dad will get an austin martin mum will have a flat in london so she can come and see us all the time yeah but

i've changed it now because i would do cheltenham um so you can't take away from me she wants to be in london she can't no you can't bear it because now olive and i hang out a lot more it's really upsetting whereas mum used to always come to london but now she's so sad um you've been no i think that's such a good explanation of it. And you're so right. It's like, I feel the same way as well. That I would always want the next thing. And because you're always comparing to people around you, there's always going to be someone better than you.

So I'll look at some of my friends and I'm like, I haven't done that. Whereas actually if I sit and reflect on where I am, I'm really happy. You need to like check yourself, don't you? And say, because I'm the worst. I get anxious about that. I never used to. It's funny. I think it's an age thing, a lockdown thing maybe.

I've got really anxious as well. so yeah you just have to I think if you consciously try and be happy you are happy I'm not saying I'm saying it like as if I'm not happy I'm really happy as in I'm very lucky no you're making really but it's really easy to fall into that trap of feeling like um a negative not even necessarily negative but just not being present in the moment yeah exactly that's what I mean it's like you kind of go through the motions of the day you get back home from work you might be like oh I'm tired and then I'm gonna have dinner and then you wake up in the morning before you know it's been like three weeks that's a whole day that's gone yeah and just nothing's happened yeah there's another thing that I love that's like today is the oldest you've ever

been and the youngest you'll ever be and that's the truth of every moment in your life. That's a really good saying. That's a good way of thinking about it. Oh, well, there's another quote. One of the Dam Toddy's who I absolutely love. He's so cute. I was so worried I was going to kill him off with my COVID because he came to visit me on the wards. And I was like, get away from me because he should have retired years ago.

The old one. Yeah, literally love him. He's like the god of Dam Toddy where we train. Anyway, so during the pandemic he would every um morning to kind of cheer us up he would always we'd have this like morning huddle apart from you're not meant to huddle because clearly covid but we would do it remotely and at the end of it he would always say like a proverb or a very profound you know saying or a poem and he's just very old school and just so lovely um and one of them he said don't oh I'm gonna say

it wrong now oh I've completely saved it on my phone it was so good it's like don't let tomorrow's um don't let tomorrow's troubles take away today's peace oh yeah something like that I can't remember how it was but it was so good and he'd come up things he'd say oh and I would always like text and shave like oh this is today's one. So when I left, I bought him a book of proverbs, and he literally loves it every day. He's like, we've got an Emily's proverb. But it's really nice,

because then it makes you actually think about things. But that's a really good one, because it reminds me of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. And in that... You do so much reading. The guy, no, that's the, you know, the new films of the Harry Potter film.

Oh, yeah, yeah. And he says something like, there's no point worrying about something that hasn't happened, because then it means you suffer twice. Yeah, that's the, you know, the new films of the Harry Potter film. Oh, yeah, yeah. And he says something like, there's no point worrying about something that hasn't happened because then it means you suffer twice. Yeah, that's so true. Which is basically the same thing. I do that all day long. Yeah, that's what we do.

So Matt never does this. So I will catastrophize about something that is never going to happen and then panic all day for no reason. Which you shouldn't worry. It's my favourite thing to do. Okay, so let's move on to your last thing that you wish you were taught in school, which I think is a really important one um it's how to avoid fuckboys this was your idea actually well it is we both yeah unfortunately fallen into the trap

not anymore no we hate them now we've recovered oh we've we have haven't we found our our special people um yeah i mean how do you avoid a fuckboy? I think basically you don't date the kind of person that you think is hot. Anyone who uses sunbeds out the window, if they blow dry their hair, absolutely gonna. I think going for them with no hair is safest, actually. I remember when Emily had got this new theory that you should go out with someone who's like,

you don't think is that hot. And I just started going out with Matt, and Matt is so hot so then I couldn't tell her because I was going to tell her but we're out for brunch. Matt is actually a rarity obviously you can be very good looking and Joe oh my god Joe Joe stop it he'll be listening Joe is beautiful actually his face. It's because you guys look like twins. No but he has got a very beautiful face he's got no hair so when his friends had to shave their hair off you realize how symmetrical the face is amazing whereas like normally people's hair disguised you know what i mean yeah yeah i'm not saying that i mean joe is very good but he's not like he doesn't care about what he looks like whereas matt does care about what he looks like but he's actually a very

lovely person like i don't think he doesn't care about that boy obviously that's obviously not a fat boy no he's lovely but what else what are other red red um basically this is a really good point actually we used to in both of our relationships separately we made it feel constantly on edge and think it was our own fault and that's such a red flag because matt never makes me feel yeah i remember when i first started to um actually our friend set us up so joe and i met one of my really good friends from school was like you have to go on a date with joe and i was like I'm not going on a date with one of your friends especially not one of those kind of boys thinking that he was like another one of those you know bad boys and I remember I was chatting and him being so lovely to the point where I was like someone must have his phone

this can't be a true conversation like who talks about this and then I realized that I'd just been with the most horrific assholes all this time and thought it was normal that's the same thing I think you then just keep going with the same ones. You do. So I would have never, like, it's weird. I think Ed must have known that we would have got on and we are so similar. It's weird. Like, everything we think, we've got exactly the same life values and we are just best friends.

But I would have never realised that unless somebody had kind of put me in that direction. I also think you almost get, like, not addicted to you, but you get really used to used to being playing like cat and mouse and having to impress someone constantly I think when you're younger you think that's exciting don't you yeah kind of feel like the I don't know it does seem exciting but actually realize as you get older it's not about that and also like someone letting you be just be who you are and not be like you don't have to act up like we anything that I do anything that you do Jo and Matt thinks it's the best thing that we've ever done even if it's like really embarrassing they're like oh my god it was amazing when you got really drunk and cried I loved it it was so great for everyone it's a really emotional experience yeah um but I think that but I think it is a learning you

almost have to do it yeah kind of you almost need to meet those assholes to make you realize what's important in life that I think I wouldn't be weirdly the same person who I am today if I hadn't had those experiences and I do regret them because I'm like oh I can't believe I wasted so much time and energy on that and they were just dicks in general but at the same time I think if I hadn't been treated those ways I mean this is my perspective obviously that from their point of view they might think differently then I may not be who I am today you know I mean everything happens for a reason you just wish you didn't waste so much time no I agree and also I always think loads of people think that everything happens for a reason thing is like really trite but it actually really helps me I love it because then I look back and I'm like that's I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be like

this only happened and I can trace everything back like my worst relationships I always think without that weird moment I would never have then decided to go and start my Instagram or whatever everything's like a butterfly effect yeah that's what's so scary like one decision one wrong thing you know choose the wrong person then but then it also depends on what day of the week it is because sometimes it's quite nice to think that everything's completely random and irrelevant so that you're just like yeah do you know what I mean I know what you mean um but what else do you need to say about avoiding fuckboys I think the main thing is if you feel suddenly like out of sorts or that you have to because it is a really weird feeling I remember just feeling constantly on edge like I had to like I was going to do the wrong thing and it's

because they're constantly gaslighting and making you feel like you're going insane that's what's so interesting is I used to get called a psycho the whole time in one of my previous relationships and I think I was a psycho but that's because I was made to be a psycho so whereas now I say this to Joe and he's like he cannot imagine it because we just don't really fight we just and he but also he treats me so well that we wouldn't really I mean if we fight it's probably my fault um do you know what I mean but he he's we just it's unusual because I don't think he would be able to imagine who I was as a person back then. But you're made to be something, you know, that you're not. Well, I was, the same happens with Matt though.

Matt and Jo are so, so similar. And like, they just will never argue over petty things. They'll never create, they just don't want drama. But I've been in relationships before where I would tell Matt what my ex would do to me and how that would make me react. And he was like, well, obviously you're going to react like that they literally like goading it's like getting an animal and like poking it with a stick yeah you should never poke the bear do not poke the bear it's a bad idea but yeah it's hard isn't it I think well people just have to I mean that's just a tongue-in-cheek thing I don't I think people just have to go

through the experiences and I think also there's so much pressure everyone's like oh I just have to be married and have children and you realize actually everything's so cyclical like there'll be people who've been married for like 10 years and then be divorced and and then there'll be other people at that stage who will have just had a baby and so you realize as you get older that there isn't any time frame for anything nothing really matters I think that's what's weird when you finish uni and you finish school is that at school you're all at the same level and then suddenly when you finish uni and you go into the world like some I'm living with my boyfriend but some of my friends are living in a house share that they've been in for four years and so everyone's someone people are engaged someone has

a baby yeah so everyone's at completely different points in their lives and I think it's the first time in your life when you're like oh my god we're not on the 11 level yeah and it can make you feel quite insecure if you think oh my god I haven't met the person I meant to be with that's society for you because everyone says to you oh so what do you do yeah do you have a boyfriend do you have children it's like why are you asking me this yeah exactly are you happy yeah but no one asks that because it's so ingrained isn't it well then maybe we should make sure that we ask people that I always ask people what they're doing you really shouldn't actually do that so bad because they might one they might not want to talk about it or they might be embarrassed by the job or yeah you know it's such a fine line

because I've we've always been taught well I feel like we've been taught you shouldn't ask too many questions what I do now it's my job well yeah I know but like it can be I sometimes think it can be rude if you ask too many questions you don't know what people you don't know what people's background is or what they don't want to say or how it's going to make them feel so I always worry that I come across rude because I don't ask questions I'm worried about offending people I do at work you do ask questions but you ask really nice you're not very probing because you don't want to make people feel uncomfortable or like you know you're asking but that's that's just part of who you are because everything you do is really thoughtful about, to a fault, you think about the other person.

Do you know what I mean? But sometimes I'm like a bit of a bulldog in a challenge shop and I just want to know. Yeah, you just love to know the goss. Love the goss. But it is good that I suppose it's your job, isn't it, really? Yeah. I don't mean like I've, I didn't probe you too much. No, I wouldn't answer.

I hate talking. I've just realised there might all be these people listening to us. Yeah, there will be people listening. I thought we were having a a chat I think this is such a good episode oh god um is there anything else that you wanted to add we haven't actually been talking it's only been 40 minutes oh really god you said that the conversation would just peter out and it has what else should we talk about um what other is there any other things you wish you've been taught in school hmm I wish you got me to practice because I did ask you a few days ago things in school finances that's a big one absolutely no idea about anything to do with

finances but everyone says that um can't think no okay well we don't have to do any more. That's good. I think it's a really good episode. Is it done? No. Oh, okay. Well, it can be done. I can edit that out. Okay, you can edit that out.

Shut up. No, please do. Please do. So, yeah. So, what did you wish that you'd been taught in school? Let's turn this around. Okay, well, that's a good question. I haven't thought about that.

I wish I'd been taught that there were more jobs. I wish I knew that I could have done this I had no idea but you couldn't really back then it's like quite a new thing no but I could have like what I wish is that all of my reports but like she taught she's really clever she doesn't stop talking and no one was like maybe she would like to go into presenting why don't you try and put on like some kind of yeah course or something so I spent ages from I thought I want to do medicine sort of for a levels because I was like determined that I had to do medicine as well I think the whole curriculum needs to be looked at everything's sold fashion like why do you even learn about algebra like when in your life are you ever gonna exactly get a

calculator out all this geography yeah I mean that could be kind of handy I mean I never did geography it's beyond me but yeah I think things need to be changed like things need to be more vocational yeah would you like to be a I don't know a journalist that's I don't know and like our school's really good for that if you're into sport they would really push you but I just wish that I'd I constantly felt like I wasn't doing the right thing and I couldn't ever I was like a round peg in a square hole because I didn't know what I was meant to be doing so I think that would be number one um my second thing I wish I'd learned that you can exercise for fun I just always thought about weight loss and then I never enjoyed it and now I love that that's interesting see I love exercising but obviously I can't remember because I've not been

well um but yeah I've never done it for I think because I was always sporty wasn't I at school so I did it because of sport but now if I'm going to exercise I do it because it makes me feel better rather than it does it that's the thing that I've learned I'm going to exercise I do it because it makes you feel better rather than it does it that's the thing that I've learned I never used to realize is that exercising for me it's endorphins it's how you feel after it just makes your day like it's not really about anything else what other thing would I wish I was learned in school I don't think what we weren't taught probably about money and finances I've learned so much about finances through doing this podcast and now and Matt and now I love like being really good

at savings yeah I wish someone had said to me taught me about compound interest because then if I knew about that back then I'd be so rich

oh we would have been so buzzing you could have saved all the 20p's that you stole from me oh my god don't I just well I just spend

all my money on presents yeah you do I would be so rich if I didn't buy birthday presents you'd be so rich if you didn't try

and buy wine for everyone every time we go out and then be like oh my god it's fine and then the next day be like I just spent 500 pounds no I don't do that I don't even have 500 pounds no I know it's been like 50 pounds also you can't go out anymore no I know but if you could yeah gosh those would be the days but yeah exercise is an interesting one yeah it's good do you want to talk about your long covid oh yeah we could talk

about the long covid so because people don't know lots of people don't know this is a thing so how did it start so I was unwell no I didn't think I was unwell in April early April um I had really bad abdominal pain and I hate going to hospital because it's horrible being the other way around so I was trying not to go in but I knew that I probably had appendicitis, but I was just holding off. Eventually went in and it was during the peak of the pandemic. So Joe was like coming with, he does get really worried. And then they wouldn't let me have anyone come in with me. So they kind of rushed me in and then just take you straight to like surgical wards.

And so anyway, I had appendicitis. They'd confirmed it, but then they wanted to just scan on a CT scan before taking me to theatre but because it was the peak they're like oh just they didn't even tell me actually they scanned my chest at the same time so I remember like going down in the wheelchair and and being thinking everything was fine I was just going to have a quick operation coming in and out and then got out the scan and they were like oh they were like do you work here and I was like yeah and they all looked really worried and in full PPE and I was like oh they were like do you work here and I was like yeah and they all look really worried and in full pp and I was like oh my god something's happened and um they I think they were just trying to be nice because they were worried about me like make small talk and

they took me back to the wards and they'd had to like close the whole of the ward off that I was in because obviously I basically my ct scan had shown I had pneumonia on my ct and then they were like shit she's got covid so then they put me into the side room and I had no absolutely no chest symptoms at that point just appendicitis but I was absolutely I was in there for like a week and I should have realized but I was so out of it I just was didn't wake I was asleep the whole time essentially which you wouldn't have with a normal appendicitis and they couldn't operate because my chest they were like too dangerous with your pneumonia so it's really unwell but you had you did have a bad chest you just hadn't realized even what like you just hadn't no I think no I think at

that point I didn't have any chest I'm just fatigued which can be a sign of pneumonia um and the whole thing it transpired the appendicitis and the pneumonia were all so it's all covid related and it was only like a few weeks later that I had started to get really bad chest symptoms and then since then what I think basically I then was discharged from hospital went back into hospital for a bit and then had like a week off but felt so bad about not being at work so obviously it was like the peak and I was like I need to get back and everyone was like telling me how um you know understaffed they were and so I basically went back way too early and at that point we had a lot

of people who were kind of pregnant so they couldn't work in the hospital so then you're like covering and people go off they don't kind of organize cover normally and so I was under a lot of pressure and I just worked myself into the ground until I think maybe was it a week and a half ago that I well regularly I would almost be falling asleep at the wheel just absolutely extreme fatigue and then I get quite breathless and you could probably hear it when I talk yeah you're more breathless than you speak but when you're in hospital you're really ill because you like would have to be breathing on the not a ventilator like what's this mask oh yeah well no that was I wasn't that bad I was on the nebulizers um but yeah no but I feel like it was really scary because you it's funny because when you're

talking about it with you you're making it sound like it wasn't that bad but it was like yeah I was very very unwell I didn't realize at the time because you were in an atmosphere and my idea of unwell is kind of different I suppose yeah because you see such extreme I mean my idea of unwell is that you're on the ventilator in the sense of care so I was unwell in the sense of in the hospital but I was I mean I could have died if I'd if dad kept saying this to me he's like if your appendix ruptures and then I need to get taken to the then I would have been at the up shits creek but that luckily didn't happen. Can you explain because the reason they can operate on the appendix is you can't have an operation when you have such bad

Covid scarring? No you can but it's just too risky so like if you give someone a general anaesthetic and they've got a pneumonia right then I could potentially decompensate under general anesthetic and also if I had pneumonia because of Covid put that whole team at risk so because you can treat it with IV antibiotics luckily mine responded that was the safest option at that time yeah it's not come back not not my chest symptoms but the appendix so you're what are your long Covid symptoms because I think lots of people think you're young and really fit you're really healthy and they think that if you get it you'll be fine i think i'm an anomaly it's not that i don't want like people to panic or scare among people but i was a rare i think exception of how things can go wrong so i'm 31 and fit and well don't even

have asthma to the point you know i'm so healthy that when i was younger i used to like i was a professional athlete used to train that 18 times a week and I think my immune system must have just gone into overdrive and essentially now so I've been off work for a week and a half and the only reason that I sound like I'm normal now is I have genuinely slept for days and days on end to try and get myself to be able to function so when I was working I would I would um get up for work and I would genuinely have to have about six coffees a day to try and keep me going and I have to like drive to work because about an hour which isn't too bad if you're has severe exhaustion I would be so exhausted that I'd be driving to work and

I'm a cool mum and poor mum I didn't realize this but she would be like crying at the end of the phone because I couldn't stay awake so I'd be like can you talk to me I physically just can't I was trying to wait so I'd pull over and have like 10 minute naps and then I would have to keep going and so instead of taking me an hour it'd take me two hours and then the only way I could keep myself awake would be to like slap myself which sounds really dramatic but it would like get your adrenaline going and I'd be like right I've got to stay awake or hold my eyes open. I genuinely just can't. I'd be that exhausted. And I think by the time I get to work, people, it's such a funny thing, fatigue. Like people can't see it, so they don't really understand it.

So I would say something like I've genuinely nearly fallen asleep at the wheel. And because you can't see it, people don't really get it um and I think also in the NHS people are just so inundated sorry so inundated with um work and so understaffed that you're thinking god we can't another person go on sick so I felt such a guilt I was like can't go for basically pushed myself for eight months to the point where I went and saw my GP and he was like what are you doing this is so unsafe like one if I kill someone else at the wheel two um I might never get over this if I don't actually try and rest now so I think people at work are thinking oh you know it's just if we could just stop the driving then she'll be fine but the driving is a symptom of how I'm quite a

stoic person I do just keep going so I'll get home and like have to just collapse so my main thing is fatigue and I'm hoping that will just go because I'm normally a person that could just be on like five hours sleep but it's interesting because it teaches like what you're saying about people not seeing it it's like so many people have invisible chronic illnesses that no one can see on the surface and it's interesting how people like treat you versus if you can like visibly see that someone's got a broken neck or whatever it might be and when I was like at work I wasn't dangerous to the point where I can I could function at work but I would to do that I would have to have a lot of coffee so then it would seem like I was fine because I'd be probably high on caffeine um but for me I knew

like normal I'm very conscientious and I'm a bit of a perfectionist so I like to do things perfectly and I'm also I'm normally very speedy with what I do so because the job I'm at now they don't really know me they probably thought oh it's fine but they don't know the level for me I knew I didn't feel like I was off kilter yeah yeah so it's a funny thing because I feel bad about not being at work but I think actually if I didn't do it I might end up like this for god knows how long well that's the longest you've ever taken off work oh yeah so I just I'm hoping if I just sleep lots then I'll give my body the chance to recover and also I get a lot of breathlessness as well, even like walking up and down the stairs.

If I'm presenting a patient, I mean, I'm actually not too bad now, but normally at work if I'm rushing, like between... No, but I can hear you sometimes going... Yeah. Like in between talking, which you wouldn't normally do. No. So, yeah, so you've got to be careful because you think, oh, I mean, on the whole it's very unlikely,

but I think I was a bad example. but you do just have to be careful. Yeah, because we were so worried about Dad getting it because he's in hospital. Yeah, and then he was fine. And then Emily was in hospital for, like, two weeks and Dad was, like, just having my Guinness and whatever rank food he's eating. Oh, no, I know. It's so rank. Someone told me, oh, my God, I forgot to say,

someone replied to my Instagram story. You know, in one of them, he was like, this meal was from a Hungarian neighbour. Yeah. And someone replied being like, oh my God, that's my friend's family who gave him that food. I don't know why they gave him food. Why would you give him food?

Well, he must have gone round and been like, can I have some food? Oh my God, don't, I can't. It stresses me out so much. Well, you've been such a good guest. Have you enjoyed your time on the podcast? I have, but then I keep forgetting I'm on a podcast and then it makes me a bit like i've had a great time should we cut that out i think you've been such a good guest you're actually way better than i was

expecting oh really thank you i'm surprised that you asked me all i feel like i'm not that interesting i've been trying to get you on face and this is the only free time that you've ever had also if people want to follow you because you did start an instagram you you should keep doing it yeah i've been really bad so i did start an instagram because you made me do it and i do think it was a good idea but i haven't i know it sounds so bad but i just haven't been well enough to do it so i'm having a break from it at the moment but i will do it again at some point it is at dr dr emily for bat and there's loads of good posts on that, lots related to dermatology and things.

Yeah, but I will get back to doing it again. It's hard work, though. I know. Well, I mean, it's not quite as hard as being a doctor, but... No, it is hard, but I think it's a good one. But yeah, I need to make myself do it when I'm better. I'm making myself look better. FanDuel Casino Daily Jackpots. Guaranteed to hit by 11pm with your chance at the number one feeling. making myself look good. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 Or visit connectsontario.ca

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