Adulting - #89 New Year Chat & Answering Some Qs

Episode Date: January 9, 2021

Hey Podulters, happy new year. This is a bit of a rambly episode with just me, myself and I. xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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of yours as well so it's going to be like half ask me anything half confessions dilemmas a bit of me and a bit of you oh i can't believe 21 is 2021 has begun but i'm still so tired from 2020 especially from new year's Eve Matt and I had a party in our flat I was like really just wanted to feel like a party I often feel like New Year's Eve's actually really overrated and it's meant to be kind of like the biggest night of the year and you always end up like so drunk that you kind of miss the countdown or something happens or I don't know it never seems as fun as like say a spontaneous night out but this New Year's Eve might genuinely have been the best New Year's Eve of our life we got really dressed up we ordered

sushi we made espresso martinis we danced loads I think just some really good playlists on Spotify lots of R&B lots of like 90s and it was just so much fun and we went to bed at like 12 30 which is the other amazing thing because if you're at home you don't have to go anywhere but I honestly am still hung over so I think that I'm going to pretend that the real new year starts on Monday um the day after this comes out because you know you can't really start a new year on a weekend it's just not quite right so the fourth for me is going to be the beginning of the year because I have been doing a lot of sleeping this weekend. I'm so tired. And I want

to be kind of like back into a good routine on it with my work. But it's kind of hard to get into that good mindset, isn't it? When you know that you're still semi in lockdown, it kind of feels less of a fresh start. I'm trying to do positive thinking and get excited about 2021. So I've got off that rumble, bit of a ramble. I'm going to look at your questions. Now I haven't proofread any or like picked any that I'm going to answer. I'm just going to go through them and have a look. And the first one is pretty deep. It is, is there anything you would change about your life? God, that's a big, a big opener. I don't really know if there's anything I'd change about my life, but maybe I would change things about me, but then that's kind of like in my control.

God, this is deep for a start like I wish I want to get back into being in a really good routine I feel like 2020 kind of pulled the rug out from under my feet when it came to routines because my diary kept getting changed around and things kept getting cancelled and work kept getting postponed and so um I think maybe taking a bit more control and trying to be a bit more steady irrespective of how much everything is maybe being a bit more control and trying to be a bit more steady, irrespective of how much everything is maybe being a bit chaotic around me. That's something I would change. But I'm a little bit, what's the word, not spiritual, but I'm a bit nervous that if I change something, even hypothetically in a question about my life, that it would like irrevocably change something

that I love, you know, like a butterfly effect. So I don't ever something that I love you know like a butterfly effect so I don't ever think that I would say I would change anything about my life but I wish that I could grow to be a better person and then I think that would make my life better oh my god I'm so nervous listening back to this it's really hard doing this on your own because it's so nice having someone else to respond to on a podcast and also you have less responsibility nothing to carry so much the conversation I'm just worried about without having someone else there I'm just going to chat loads of crap probably likely okay second question what was your favorite moment of 2020 and your hardest moment of 2020 um so I think maybe my favorite moment of 2020 was when I got up on stage and

did stand up for the second time in my life that was quite the end of the year though with Grace Campbell we did our comedy shows and it was just so exciting to do something that felt like a massive achievement in a year of kind of like I said cancellations I'm sure there were other amazing moments um Matt and I had some really fun moments right at the beginning of the first lockdown when it kind of it felt very novel and we just moved he moved into my flat with me so that was really fun and then we moved in together as well into like our own flats so that felt like a big moment I honestly I don't know about anyone else, but when it comes to like remembering what happened last year in 2020, I actually really can't remember a lot

of things that happened. I feel like my memory is kind of like, I can only remember what happened sort of like last week and also pre-pandemic. So I can remember January, February, the beginning of March very well. And then it all kind of smushes together. There were lots of amazing moments in 2020 but I also did have some quite difficult moments it was the worst my mental health has ever been um and I think that's just

because there was lots of time for reflection and rumination and um I just really struggled I'm sure like so many other people did and there were other kind of like personal things that happened which were really difficult um so it's weird I guess what's interesting about it is there was definitely everything was kind of either very high or very low I guess that's what it felt like for me it was my most sort of volatile year in terms of good things and bad things happening I kind of prefer it when it's a bit more steady. I guess 2020 just felt like everything was thrown into the extreme. Maybe just because we were in such a blank canvas or everything around us was so abnormal that the things that happened to us personally or professionally felt even greater or more

difficult. I don't know if that makes sense um okay next question all-time favorite song album and why I always say that Dancing in the Moonlight Toploader is my favorite song um I've just kind of always said that it definitely is a song that I love but I've kind of like over listened to it when I kind of started getting Spotify because when I was younger you know do you remember when you would only kind of hear songs if you had to seat them out on a CD or if it happened to come on the radio and then it'd be so exciting when you hear it? I kind of have done that thing where I've over listened to nostalgic music and it's kind of making it lose its magic a tiny bit. So I usually would have said Dance of the Moonlight by Toploader. I think I still would say that.

I also would say Believe by Cher. Is it called Believe? I'm just googling it to double check I'm fairly certain it's called Believe yeah um that Matt and I always say that's our song because well actually Matt probably like no that's what you say because like a few years ago on our friend's birthday we were dancing in Bunga Bunga don't you think it's like a bit of a shit club but it's like really fun for dancing and Believe by Cher came on and we were like singing at the top of our voices and I love dancing with Matt and I can only convince him to dance with me if he's really drunk I love

dancing and I'm really bad and we had so much fun and we were like quite early on in our relationship so ever since then I've always said that Believe by Cher is um our song so probably those I know that's not an album I don't know I love of different music. I do love all of Amy Winehouse, probably Back to Black might be my favorite album. Yeah. What is my favorite book that I read this year and why? Another good question. I only managed to read only. It was good. I was meant to be reading 52 books. I think I read 37. I'm going to set myself the challenge of reading 52 again this year um and hopefully I'll do it so the book that kind of comes to the front of my mind is the ones that I enjoyed the most were um City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert I think because it was all about partying and glamour and being in New York and um I think that at the time when I was reading it when we're in lockdown I think that it was just such escapism and it's like full of life and it's oh I can't even explain it but that's I kind of think I'd read it again it was such a joy to read so it's basically about

these showgirls living in Manhattan in the 40s. And like one is a seamstress and she makes dresses for the others. And it's like, it's really, I love the way that Elizabeth Gilbert writes anyway. I can remember a line from the book actually. There's one bit where she goes, I was so, I was so young. I was so freshly hatched. I basically still had yolk in my hair or something like that. And I remember thinking, oh my God, I wish I could write like that. Such a gorgeous line.

So out of all the books I think I read this year, one that brought me kind of the most joy and escapism, I would say is either City of Girls or also the most fun we ever had. Who was that by? By Claire Lombardo. That was also amazing. But slightly more like in our time. the city of girls is really kind of feels nostalgic

for me for life that I didn't live and you kind of wish you were living through that time and the most fun we've ever had is more kind of realistic I guess in a way um and then all of the books I've read by the way on my Instagram if you don't follow my Instagram, I have a highlight there. I'm just trying to think of what other ones that really kind of hit home for me. I loved Girl, Woman, Other, like everyone else by Bernadine Evristo. I'm going to stick with those three because you only asked me about one, but I couldn't pick one. What has been a blessing in Kelowna? God, Corona slash over lockdown. Um,

I think a blessing has been my friendships. I think it's shown me how amazing all of my friends are and made me desperately more than anything, want to see my friends and my family. Uh, I speak to my mom and my sister. I have two sisters, but my, one of my sisters is in Australia. So we don't get to speak to as much literally because of the time difference, but one of my mum and my sister. I have two sisters, but one of my sisters is in Australia, so we don't get to speak to as much, literally because of the time difference. But one of my sisters and my mum, we honestly FaceTime like three times a day. Actually, we do it on WhatsApp. We have a group,

then you do like a group chat. And it's really fun. So we talk constantly. And my friends, like, just realise how much I love them. And I knew that anyway, but I guess sometimes I can get really kind

of focused on my career I'm quite like not obsessed with my career but I'm very like I guess if I had to pick something that I'm always thinking about it's and I don't think I realized this before like I'm really really want to do very well in my career and sometimes that makes you not recognize that how amazing some of the things you already have around you are like your friendships and stuff and I guess taking like my work has slowed down tremendously this year I think it made me realize how amazing my friends are and how much I love them so that is something that would be a blessing um what is something that you're looking forward to in 2021 good question um I'm looking forward to really boring things just like I really I think someone's

probably gonna ask me about my resolutions maybe I should answer this differently I basically just want to um be feel myself I think last year I really felt out of sorts in lots of ways and I want to feel in control so in 2021 I'm looking forward to being like right whatever happens this year now whether or not it's going in and out of lockdowns whether or not it's a repeat of last year now it's kind of like the shock factor's worn off and we've just got to get on with it and I want to be able to shape myself around whatever external factors are impacting me because I felt like I just handled it so badly last year so I think I'm looking forward to just getting on with shit in a better way than I did last year um okay next question what do you think you would have done if insta etc hadn't worked out

um I think I maybe would have ended up trying to get into journalism um I think that I definitely would have done personal training because I was coming becoming a PT or became a PT as my Instagram was growing and I did that for a bit in London and I think I would have done that for a bit I think I always would have maybe realized it wasn't quite right for me I loved it but I think um it's not where my passions are what I find really interesting I guess about health and fitness and exercise is the psychology behind it and how you know like working out can make you feel really amazing I think that a lot of personal training is almost like counseling and I loved that side of things whereas actually I guess I

think the physical nature of people just wanting to lose weight and that constantly being something that you're evaluating over time I think I would have found that quite stressful so I think I would have I think I would have had a still had a bit of a lumpy career and that I would have tried lots of things out I don't know where I would have landed but I would imagine that it would be in something not too dissimilar from what I do now just perhaps with a smaller platform perhaps working for someone else rather than being freelance um I think that's I think I'm in the right place it's just how I would have got there it probably would have been very different um thoughts on marriage I get this question all

the time I used to be kind of quite like I don't want to get married because I'm too feminist um and now I am kind of less I just think that there's different fights in within feminism and that actually you can be married and have very strong feminist values and then not be aligned I guess I want to get married more now if we end up staying together because Matt really likes the idea of marriage and it's very like important to him so that's kind of made me soften on that and think actually it would be nice um I guess I'm actually just I don't feel like too strongly either way it's more about what you how you define marriage and how you like kind of carry

it out and what the wedding is like like I wouldn't be very traditional and I wouldn't want to be given away I don't know if I'd necessarily wear white um and I wouldn't get married in a church but I do think it's an amazing commitment to make to someone but I do think that it's um I hope that culturally its kind of meaning has changed over time and that's why more and more people can subscribe to it so I guess I just yeah that's how I feel about it um would I like kids in the future yes I think so I've always thought I wanted children um but actually weirdly the kind of older I'm getting the more it worries me because I'm like I've got so much stuff to do and I've also realized that watching so many people have got pregnant recently and watching people talk

about like them wanting to conceive and stuff I'm like oh my god I'm so not there yet but I didn't necessarily realize that because if I saw a baby I'd be like oh my god it's so cute imagine having a baby then actually seeing I guess other people especially on Instagram announcing pregnancies at my age it's made me realize that I'm just not at that place in my life which is fine but I do think I'd want them in the future but I don't know when I haven't got any set in stone plans thing is I always like the idea of like having when I'm older my children being grown up I always like the idea of having like teenagers I love the idea of having really difficult conversations and having them around the dinner party having their friends around for dinner parties and stuff um and I kind of ignore

the idea of being absolutely exhausted with like toddlers because that just seems too difficult um what do you do when you fill out your list how do you get through it well normally I feel like it's so much easier because there's distractions and you can go into your friends and I sometimes feel like just getting out of the environment that you're in can really help um and obviously that last year and probably this year that's going to be really tricky because we're really stuck in the same place I really have a thing about physical spaces and your mental psyche I always feel like just being able to break out of something physically can help you kind of have a bit of a breakthrough mentally so I think that that really made me quite stagnant last year when I was feeling low and I got quite stuck um but I've started going to therapy and that has been very helpful

and very interesting that also did trigger quite like a um a difficult week or so when I was kind of like processing things and then I felt sort of like reborn like a phoenix coming out of the ashes which was amazing um so going to therapy has been really transformative but I am paying for it and that's very expensive um I think that when I'm feeling my lowest it's actually communicating with people around me that I'm feeling that way and then because a lot of the time if I feel low I then feel really guilty that I'm feeling low and I might be ruining other people's mood or that I'm not being myself and sometimes just expressing to someone else I'm feeling low almost takes the burden of it and I almost kind of feel better immediately kind of like a problem

shared as a problem solved seems to work for me and then just trying to get through it and knowing that it will go away even though that's hard to remember sometimes you know um next question is an interesting one how do you feel about offensive humor should we not allowed to say certain things I'm quite easily offended I've realized on behalf of other people in comedy not in terms of like I'm going to do anything about it I just sometimes watch comedy and can't make myself laugh if I find that it's not that funny but I listened to Frankie Boyle on Louis Theroux um recently which I thought was quite an interesting thought experiment on offensive comedy and he was basically saying how like some comedy is designed for certain senses of humor and then it's sort of like pushed into the mainstream media and used to like with the intention of creating events for people who would never have thought out that kind of comedy.

So I wonder if that's kind of part of the problem in that we just perhaps shouldn't be accessing some of this stuff. I do think there are certain things you can't say. I'm kind of at the school of thought that like, for instance, women can make jokes about sexism, but we should never sort of be making jokes about people that we have more privilege than. I always think that's kind of like a safe place to start. Or you can make jokes about something that's your own personal experience, but not someone else's. So I do think that maybe there is a joke in everything, but it's who's making the joke and what is the intention with the joke but I do I I don't know how I feel about it because I often kind of get into mini debates about that with some of my friends especially guys because there is some stuff that I'm just like I don't think that's funny but some people do um where do you get your clothes style and inspo from? Good question. I am obsessed with Emmalou Connolly. She is a model and I think she's really cool. I love Ali Kate Moss. Matt's just come and smiled at me. Who's your style icon, Matt? Who do you get style, spin clothes inspiration from matt says no and he's unique i like to look at pictures of sienna miller in her boho chic era basically this is why i'm thinking about that i've got really obsessed with the primrose hill set and like looking up that era of um celebs that gang uh and at the minute I'm just feeling very nostalgic for that kind of vibe um so I don't know I guess lots of things I really like I really like people who have

eccentric dress sense I want to be a really smart neat fashion blogger dresser but my eye is naturally drawn to things which are quite bright and sparkly and bit out there so I go I do sometimes literally base a look of something in a film or someone that I love and other times it'll just be putting on clothes that kind of catch my eye and sometimes I look back through my Instagram and I'm like this I have no real sense of style that all of my outfits are quite different but it's what I wanted to wear on that day even if in like a month's time, I'm like, what the fuck was I wearing? I know that at the time I enjoyed it. So I guess that's what I think is important with style is rather than following trend

led fashion, it's like, what are you going to put on that day that fits your mood and makes you feel good? Honestly, half the outfits I wear, I'm like, that is the worst thing I've ever seen. And it was like a week before. I don't know. I do get inspo, um it's also just I got drawn to things and want to put them on immediately. FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling winning which beats even the 27th best feeling saying I

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Some of them are really boring because I was like, I don't want to plan too big because obviously, again, we don't know what's going to happen. But I really, really want to get into running because the gyms are definitely going to be closed on and off again. And I actually do enjoy running when I'm doing it I keep stop starting like every time they open the gyms I'd stop running but this year I want to consistently try to run and I actually do love it and that what stops me from running

is when I think I'm going to do a shit run so I want to make myself go for a run whether that's 1k 2k 5k 10k no matter how fast it is I want to try and do a run three times a week um just because it's such a solid thing to get better at and I noticed that when I'm in a rhythm with running my runs are always a tiny bit faster and it's so enjoyable to see that progress and I love getting sweaty and it's good to get on fresh air and I think it's really good for mental health so that's my number one thing um my second thing is to try and start doing a bit of yoga again to complement the running and to kind of look after my body and have that bit of calm exercise and winding down. Matt and I did so much at the beginning of lockdown and then kind of nothing after that.

The next thing is to grow my hair. I just want my hair to be really healthy. I just, it's something I feel like doing. So I bought some Olaplex and I'm not going to diet this year because my hair's I go through quite funny phases with my hair and every few years I kind of do this thing where I want to grow it really long and then probably like in two years time I'll cut it short again I always go in the cycle so that's a boring aesthetic one but again it's something that you can kind of monitor and it's it's like looking after a Tamagotchi but it's your hair

just trying to keep it healthy um uh oh yeah the next thing I want to do which is really exciting and I bloody should have started as I said I'm going to start my neo and I can't remember if I did say that actually I'm going to start neo on Monday is I'm going to write for 30 minutes every morning um I have an idea for something that I want to be writing and there's a really I've listened to lots of authors speaking about how you just have to write every day just set aside a time block so I want to do minimum of 30 minutes first thing when I wake up in the morning on my laptop doesn't matter it's dribble whatever it is I'm going to do that and then obviously if I keep writing over the 30 minutes I will but the main thing is just writing for 30 minutes

um I have my 52 books gold again I didn't hit it this year but I think it's a nice target to set so I'm going to try and do that. I would like to gig once a month, a comedy gig, if possible. Like, not necessarily minor graces gigs, but like little comedy shows, like work in progress shows, things that people do at the beginning of their comedy career. Because I really want to learn the trade. Kind of like, is that the right saying for comedy? Do you know what I mean? I don't want to kind of think that just because I have an Instagram platform I can suddenly perform to have many people buy tickets I really do want to earn my craft and my graph I

always get the same wrong I don't know what it is anyway I'm sure you'll tell me um and then my last thing is to write an hour-long comedy show which I want to take to the fringe if it happens so those all of my goals for 2021 um I normally uh I suppose that is kind of like my normal amount I always write I love writing goals at the beginning of the year I normally write them in the front page of my diary but I haven't got a diary this year so I normally go and get it in anthropology in the sale at the end of Christmas and shops aren't open so I need to get one um but I always write down big goals and manageable goals and try and tick them off um what is what's something you wish you could tell your 18 year old self now like first year of uni oh uni was a really actually when I look back on it really difficult time for me I was like kind of I'm learning all this like coming out of therapy but I came from it I came from like quite a

complicated place in my life to go into uni and I was a bit lost but I think that I just tell myself to stop worrying so much about what other people thought and about things that I couldn't control um but uni was really formative for me and that the minute that I left uni I was a completely different person it was really weird it was like I went on this whole journey and I was quite naughty and um and suddenly it was like it's a bit like what I was saying about leaving an environment I left Cardiff I left uni and I went to London and sort of just grew up really quickly. Not in all senses. Obviously, I'm completely not mature now.

But it was amazing how that almost feels like a time capsule, my uni experience, of like a very specific version of myself who's completely different from who I am today. And some of it was really difficult I had some really difficult relationships and um I found lots of uni very hard but at the same time I just I don't know if if I'd done it differently again coming back to that butterfly effect thing if it would have helped so I think I would have just said to myself not to worry so much and that it will be fine in the end and I also think that I was really anxious at uni but didn't have the language for it and it came out in lots of ways that were a bit unhelpful. So maybe I would have told myself to try and seek counselling at uni or

something because I was a bit lost, but I wouldn't want to change anything because I feel like, as I said, it was very formative. Is it totally gross to fancy a 20-year-old if I'm 28? Lol. And this is a good question. I think so, but I'm a bit of a weirder about age gaps. I just think it's a bit odd,

but maybe that's why I've always gone out with someone who's very close to my age. Only because also, if I look back to me being 20, I was so young that I can't imagine ever going out with 28-year-olds. But it's really person-dependent. I think I was like a child when I was 20. that if I can't imagine ever going out in 28 year olds but it's really person

dependent I think I was like a child when I was 20 so yes but I mean there's lots of people who are really happy in massive age gap relationships so I don't know someone said what is my opinion on drugs um I think they should be decriminalized I think we need better education about them i think that we should recognize how damaging the drug trade is for so many people in countries outside of the uk if that's where you're importing your drugs to and how you know we only see kind of the tip of the iceberg but drug related crime and death um the impact is huge but at the same so that's like the kind of obviously really negative thing about drugs i actually don't think that that's like the part of drugs that obviously i think is detrimental is the fact that so many people lose their lives and it's so dangerous

to be a drug dealer i actually think a lot of drug um rhetoric is bullshit. Like, I don't know, like a weed, for example, obviously I'm imagining that that will become legalized everywhere. But I think lots of drugs in and of themselves aren't as harmful as media would like to portray them. But it's the fact that they're illegal and so cut with loads of crap and therefore very dangerous. I think that the whole media spin on drugs needs to be changed. Like this war on drugs is all bullshit.

And yeah, I have lots of thoughts on drugs. And I hope that if I do have children, by the time I have children, that there'll be a better kind of awareness around drugs. And because they're so rife, like everyone knows that there are millions of people doing drugs all the time. And in lots of friendship groups, it's like I have certain friendship groups who

all do drugs I have some friendship groups who none of them do drugs and I think it's a funny balancing act that again the media do pretending that sort of like it's very fringe when actually we know that you know a lot of the raves and parties and things that go on and in lots of places are designed around drug culture and always have been so i don't know i think it's very interesting obviously drugs can be very damaging to certain individuals obviously they can have um huge impacts on your mental health if you are using and abusing like any other addiction to any mind-altering substance but that includes alcohol and you know prescription drugs and things so I think it's a very complex nuanced conversation um I just can't believe how we

were taught about drugs in school and then you're let out into the world with those really kind of made-up beliefs around drugs I don't know if that makes sense to anyone else but that's my unqualified opinion oh god I've been talking for ages and I try and do um not too many more about me that's so funny it's not funny but someone said if you knew you're going to die at the end of next year how would you spend 2021 Matt I actually asked Matt this the other day oddly I said if you had a year to live how would you what would you do and he said travel um and spend loads of time with your family and friends and stuff and I have to agree I think we just had loads of fun with your family and friends and stuff and I have to agree

I think we just had loads of fun but I always find those thought experiments quite depressing because it makes you realize how much work although not my work I have to say I love like pretty much every aspect of my job but I think for other people when you realize that if you had a year left that you wouldn't do any work at all it makes you sad to think how much of our lives we spend doing work when actually I know it's a necessity I what I mean by that I guess is is the form that work takes and the hours that it takes up in our lives is disproportionate to how much joy it brings us in truth maybe that's a bit too philosophical I'm honestly I'm having like a four-day hangover right now

and I feel like it makes me really deep oh yeah so if I knew I was going to die how to spend 2021 let me just go back to that um honestly I think I just see all of my friends have loads of fun parties go traveling be quite reckless I probably would be quite reckless if I knew I was going to die um yeah go wild what is my current favorite snack well the minute it's the chocolate biscuits we've got them coming out of our thumb holes that's grossing to say we don't I don't know I said that um okay enough of me chatting and what I think is quite a somber tone I don't know maybe this will send you sleep which which is helpful if it does that as well. So let's listen to you,

what you have to say in the Confessions Dilemmas section of my Instagram stories. Someone said, they go to the guy from Tinder, then he made up that I gave him herpes to get me back. That is just opened up lots of questions for me me did you get back with him because you felt bad because he made you think you've given him herpes do you not actually have herpes very interesting tactic I haven't heard that one before someone said I'm dating this guy when I first met him he slept with another girl I'm fine with that but he always likes her Instagram photos, all the key shot selfies. I personally would,

actually, I don't know. If the pictures were quite provocative, then I might be a bit like, if they are friends, then I don't know. There's so much context needed here here if they had a one night stand and then he's liking loads of really really sexy pictures of her I think that might be a bit past the line because I personally wouldn't like a guy's sexy photos that I'd slept with but if it was my really good friend or someone that I'd slept with and they put up nice pictures of themselves then I would like them do you know what I mean I think it's context um but I also think in a relationship you kind of have to be able to go this makes me feel really uncomfortable do you understand why and then if he's like oh my god I didn't realize so sorry I'm literally just liking them then that's fine I think always chatting about things and saying

when things make you feel a certain way because also I think part of the problem with like jealousy and like feeling funny in these situations is that it can feel quite shameful and once you talk about it the shame kind of goes away so I think that that's good thing to think about um how to keep reignite the spark in a long-term relationship um I think that you have to be actively trying to be respectful towards each other I think I think that you can't just go through the motions of being together you have to kind of really make sure that you are being really present in each other's company I think what happens especially like when you live together what we found is that you can very easily kind of slip into just being around each other without actually being with each other and I think in order to be happy and fulfilled you have to put

in real effort into your relationship you know um I feel guilty about moving out and leaving my parents with an empty nest. What do I do? You can't feel guilty about that. You've got to spread your wings and fly. Empty nest syndrome is definitely a thing, but I'm sure that they will be able to deal with it. And also, it would be nice for them in the long run, you know, getting a bit of their life back in a certain way advice on furnishing decorating a small flat um I would say to use Pinterest and go on Instagram find people's houses that you like and then save items and try and find them on eBay or Facebook marketplace uh and do it slowly over time I think if you haven't got a big budget then it's often going to take a lot more time obviously if you've got loads of money you can

just kind of splash out and buy exactly what you want but i found that there's certain things that i like that i know i can't afford so i wait to find like an alternative or do it more slowly over time um and there's really clever ways that you can bring a room to life if you're renting I think like with plants and prints I love mirrors I think mirrors really add spaces and you can get really cool stuff in secondhand shops that just kind of add a bit of you to your place um constantly thinking about my ex even though you ended it four years ago lol I think that um I know I have friends like this that you just kind of you can't ever really get them off your mind I think that maybe it's because you're holding on to an idea of what you thought they

would be um and maybe it's really important that you try and let that go and realize that time has moved on although sometimes our subconscious is really weird and just makes you think of stuff really randomly I don't really understand oh this is a sad one I don't know if I'm falling out of love with my boyfriend or if lockdown is killing our vibe I think that lockdown's been really difficult for couples um because of kind of what I just said before where you're sort of like around each other so much that you lose that sense of excitement when you see each other um and I think that it can take so much of a toll because you're you do need space I personally really need space I find

it very difficult if I don't have some some sort of space in a week to myself just um with my own thoughts and do my own thing and um maybe if you guys could find a way to not take a break at all but just have space in each other and then organize something really exciting like a date night even if you just try and like ignore each other a bit if you live together and then come back together and try to like save up all the things that you've done that week and tell them to each other rather than you know like just chatting to each other throughout the day and making it feel like more of an event I think that definitely I wouldn't jump on something so quickly. It could also be that lockdown has shown you that maybe you are falling out of love with

your boyfriend. But I think that sometimes these things, you just got to take them slowly. And lockdown has given me a head fuck on so many different things this year. By the way, I can't see the wood from the trees and don't really know what I'm thinking or feeling about stuff. So I definitely think it's such a tricky situation. But good luck. My boyfriend of three years gave me the family heirloom diamond earrings necklace. Can I reset it? I think you definitely have to ask the family. I'm not sure. I think if you, it depends how long ago he gave it to you. I think if you'd had it for like 20 years, you could be like, oh my God, I'm going to reset it because I'm definitely going to give it to my kids. But I guess after like three years, what if you broke up?

Would they not want it back? I don't know. I would feel bad doing that, I think. But it depends on what the family said, you know. Someone else said said in a loving relationship all perfect but still feel drawn to flirt half date other men maybe you're polyamorous maybe that's something that you need to um investigate junior doctor job in UK for two years but boyfriend can't come I don't know if I should go really love him and scared two years is long, too long. Oh my God, that's really difficult.

I think you also asked me this on my one, like, would I do this? Would I leave the country for two years for my dream job if Matt couldn't come? Maybe. It's so difficult to say. It if this dream job so say for instance I got offered um I'm trying to think of an example what would my dream job be if I got offered like an incredible show like a comedy show in New York for two years and Matt had to stay here would I take it I think I would take it and I just hope that we could see each other enough but it would depend on if we could fly afford to fly to see each other often enough it would depend how long distance the flights are I don't know where you live um like I sometimes think you've got to take those opportunities when they're going to come and if your relationship

is going to work it's going to work difficult one I think I would go I'm feeling very conscious that it has just been my voice and my voice alone for like 40 minutes so I think I'm going to try and round this off um I guess with just a little round up to say again happy new year and I hope that 2021 we can all realize some stuff like Kylie Jenner did in 2016 um whenever I do questions or confessions or anything it's always kind of the same things which is basically just that we're all very much still figuring out life and figuring out what we want to be doing figuring out who we are we love, what we want to do. And I don't really know if those questions ever stop coming or if they just change shape as we get older and evolve and change as we grow. God, I'm being so philosophical.

Actually, that's such a big claim to make. I'm just being really deep and loserish because I'm in a bit of a funny frame of mind right now. But yeah, I hope that you haven't got absolutely bored out of your mind listening to this. I hope that you're excited to listen to some incredible guests this year. I'm excited to keep on creating the podcast. And as always, I would absolutely adore it if you've made it this far into this episode if you could rate review and subscribe to the podcast it helps me to keep creating to keep getting guests and to just keep talking into your ear holes about stuff but again

we will be back with guests next week um and yeah I hope this hasn't been too boring okay love you bye fanduel casinos exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning. Which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling, winning, in an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino,

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