Adulting - Let's Talk About... Goodness

Episode Date: November 17, 2024

 Hello and welcome to Adulting, and the eighteenth episode of Let’s Talk About… a broadening of Adulting... where that was about all of the things we never got taught in school, this is almost like seminars on life; where my audience (that's you!), get to chat anonymously about things they couldn't necessarily discuss over lunch with their friends, or feel like they don't have anyone to talk to about whatever it may be.  To get involved, follow me on Instagram @oenone, where every Tuesday we vote on a topic and every Wednesday we dig deep. Let’s Talk About… GOODNESS. The submission read ‘What’s GOOD in the world atm!!! What is making us happy!!!???’ What followed was tonnes of lovely positive messages and so that’s all this episode is really. I hope you enjoy  as always, please do rate, review and subscribe!  Hello and welcome to Adulting, and the eighteenth episode of Let’s Talk About… a broadening of Adulting... where that was about all of the things we never got taught in school, this is almost like seminars on life; where my audience (that's you!), get to chat anonymously about things they couldn't necessarily discuss over lunch with their friends, or feel like they don't have anyone to talk to about whatever it may be.  To get involved, follow me on Instagram @oenone, where every Tuesday we vote on a topic and every Wednesday we dig deep. Let’s Talk About… GOODNESS. The submission read ‘What’s GOOD in the world atm!!! What is making us happy!!!???’ What followed was tonnes of lovely positive messages and so that’s all this episode is really. I hope you enjoy  as always, please do rate, review and subscribe!  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Your customers are scrolling past your social ads, using ad blockers, and paying for ad-free streaming. But when they're listening to a podcast, they're hearing Acast ads, which are 4.4 times more engaging than with display ads. So if you want real attention, start advertising on podcasts with Acast. Start today at go.acast.com slash ads. where my audience, that's you, get to chat anonymously about things you can't necessarily discuss over lunch with your friends, or maybe just feel like you don't have anyone to talk to about whatever it may be. To get involved, follow me on Instagram at Anoni, where every Tuesday we vote on a topic and every Wednesday we dig deep. Let's talk about goodness. The submission read, what's good in the world at the moment and what is making us happy? And what followed was tons of lovely positive messages. And so that's all this episode

is really this week. I hope you enjoy it. And as always, please do rate, review and subscribe. Some messages. Five weeks off booze and I feel great. Walking in the morning before work has changed my life for the better massively. I didn't die in a car crash on Friday, blimey. Well, I'm very pleased that you're okay. There's actually good weather in November. I'm a farmer. I found a husband that is a really good egg. They actually followed up on this to clarify and And they said, I want to give this a bit more context because it makes it sound like I was just out searching for a nice husband. A few years ago, I was absolutely brutally dumped, was with my uni boyfriend for six years, lived together. He proposed, planned a wedding. And then one day he just moved out and said it

was over. And I never saw him again. I'd totally given up on men, dated for a while and had the best time being single, but never thought I'd meet anyone. Then I went on a date with this guy and fell head over heels and we got married on New Year's Eve last year and then we went traveling for six months. That is happy. I love that so much. Another message, old Disney movies. They're really lifting my spirits up. and i watched mrs doubtfire the other evening and oh my god it's so nice revisiting those like nostalgic childhood films and also pierce brosnan if there are any lookalikes out there of a young pierce brosnan please do slide into my dms someone else said i have a wholesome album on my instagram where i

say pure feel-good posts i love to look at it when I'm in a bad mood I love this do you know what's funny I have a personal Instagram account that I started like when I started my business I guess one and on there I seem to only get animal videos and the whole algorithm because I don't really engage with anyone on there I just have like my close friends and my family and I don't really post anything on it but my whole algorithm is just really cute videos of animals so I love that and it's like it's curated perfectly another message read me and my friends are all 29 turning 30 this year and I think there's something about maturing that makes you appreciate the small things in life and feeling ever more grateful for what we have I've noticed that everyone is kinder to each other has a deeper

understanding that everyone is fighting their own battle and so we put more effort into championing each other and celebrating each other's wins, big or small. As much as society focuses on the stresses and negatives of getting older, which exist, don't get me wrong, I don't think we recognize how much more appreciative we become and how that can create a happier mindset day to day. I totally agree with this. I think as you get older, you grow in compassion and empathy and you start to understand people more and you give people more grace. And certainly I've noticed that in my own friendships as well. And there's also a level of not feeling as embarrassed to be super sincere or be maybe even a bit cringe and being really

generous with your friends telling them you love them and I guess letting your ego down a little bit and I think that competitive nature that you can feel maybe when you're a bit younger does start to go away but as you get older too another message as someone who's never had a group of friends I found a girl gang and I love them lots I got given a number at the end of the night at a cool bar. The dream. My mum has just got engaged to the love of her life. I just married the love of my life since being together for 16 years.

I'm feeling all the happy festive vibes, cosy evenings, candles, blankets and mulled wine. I've been calling my sister several times every day, just chatting while we make tea or whatever. calling my mum is always on my gratitude list and I do it when I take Ashton a walk normally or if I'm just popping somewhere she is that person on earth who I can talk to about literally anything and we never don't have anything to say to each other and so it's almost like every time I pick up the phone we're just continuing on this one long conversation that we've been having for the last decade I love it so much another message evening walk with my boyfriend after tea such

good chats and a really lovely end to the day I think that's such a sweet thing to do my GP service has improved so much and I feel so grateful to get free proper health care. Love, go the NHS. Living with the seasons, slowing down in autumn, being cozy with a blanket and a book. I just made a new friend in a coffee shop and we're going out on Saturday to a jazz bar. Gilmore Girl rewatch always, especially this time of year. I'm also on my rewatch and I'm loving it so much but as I said in everything is content, it does make me want to have a teenager which I don't know how I'm also on my rewatch and I'm loving it so much. But as I said in everything is content, it does make me want to have a teenager, which I don't know how I'm going to do that. Another message. I've recently joined a women's group focused on reconnecting with nature, exercise and other women in the community. It's such a needed and wonderful group to be part of,

to meet other women in a time when making friends in your 20s is harder than dating. And that's hard enough. To walk and talk in a safe space where we can discuss everything trivial and all-consuming this is so sweet and so many of you did message me to say oh my god what is this group and how can i join it and i can try and find out from this person but also remember that you're able to just create these groups and you know join a facebook group or make your own events i think we got so embarrassed like this person said it's so easy to say that you're seeking love or romance but saying that you're seeking friendship or community is slightly harder but you can also be the one to start it but I will

try to find out from that person what the group is another message I'm finally starting to feel a bit better and more like myself after a breakup five-ish weeks ago. You go, girl. Five-ish weeks is really not that long, so that's amazing. Another message. Getting involved in your local community is the perfect antidote to any doom and gloom. And someone responded to that saying, 200% agree with this. I listened to a podcast recently about how if you don't feel involved in your community by neighborhood or any other community you're part of, then it's really hard to feel purpose and have contentment in your life. Giving back literally benefits everyone and often is a good way to either use your skills to help others or do something completely different

from your day to day. I started volunteering at a soup kitchen just before I left London and honestly it was challenging but such a wonderful community of people across ages and backgrounds who were all so kind and so interesting also so so good for my mental health as it really got me out of my own bubble would 100% recommend I find that really inspiring and quite instructive it's definitely something that I want to look into doing more of as well I'm leaving my toxic job at the end of the month. Woohoo! Good for you. Another message, it's Christmas season, which equals mulled wine, hot chalk, Mariah Carey, and Michael Bublé. And I responded to this saying, I haven't actually defrosted my Christmas-y-ness yet. And I asked if you guys had, and 22% of you had, but 78% said no. I am thinking about putting

the tree up in my and Grace's flat flat soon so I'll keep you posted on that dark nights starry skies northern lights and autumn walks oh gorgeous getting a promotion and celebrating it and not thinking it's not that big of a deal it is it is a big deal so true medellin in colombia have lowered the temperature of the city by two degrees by covering buildings and plants. Now that is some really good news that we can all get behind. Taking myself out on solo coffee dates every weekend without my phone. I read this. It made me panic. I've just adjusted to going out without my headphones and a book so that I don't have to go on my phone.

But I think this is something I should really implement because it's leveling up and it would definitely do me some good I've been listening three positives today I make everyone do it and work weekly and reminder that there's always good and someone responded to this saying oh yes a gratitude journal has actually really changed my life for the better I always thought it was just wishy-washy nonsense, but we had someone from a suicide charity come and speak at our work and he explained the science behind it all and it completely changes your brain. Physically, your neural pathways change. Evolutionary, we're set to focus on bad things because they usually mean a threat and ignore good things, not a big deal compared to threats. So in the modern day, we need to have five positive

thoughts for every one negative thought to gain a net neutral. By having a gratitude journal, you're building a habit where you're actively looking and logging positive things in your life because you know you need to write three down at the end of the day. It literally changes your brain to do this. I don't have a journal, but I do try to practice active positivity. And I'll always say, I'm grateful for the weather, or I'm so grateful to be out on a walk, grateful to be able to exercise. And it's not always easy, but when you practice it, it does completely change your brain. I completely agree. I'm not very good at journaling for some reason. I've tried a few times. I've got a lot of notepads that have a few enthusiastic pages of written stuff, but now I just kind of say it to myself.

Although actually that's a lie. I have my note on my phone, the one that I shared not that long ago, which was basically this idea that energy cannot be destroyed, it can only be transformed. And so every time I have a negative energy feeling, I try to think of things that I'm really grateful for and basically transform that energy. Or if I'm feeling really anxious, I've realized that if I go out on a run, that kind of helps with that fizzy anxious energy. So I think about transforming the energy. And on that note, I write down things I'm grateful for, things I want to work towards. And then I can refer back to it at times when I'm feeling really negative or when you're letting yourself sink into those negative thought patterns. It is useful. So I don't have a journal, but I do have a note on

my phone, which I love. Loads of you submitted dogs and someone wrote in saying getting a dog two years ago has increased my happiness levels. I heard a phrase that pets are the guardians of being and I think it's so true. My dog reminds me to live in the moment and just be. When I walk with her I'm forced to be in the moment and see the world through her eyes and I see the joy she gets from what is just a walk on the common on a gray day. And I've got such a loser, but it makes me feel emotional. I get this. If I'm tired or grumpy or hungover or whatever it might be, I obviously have to take Astrid out on a walk.

And it's the way she just gets so happy running around. It brings you so much joy. Actually, on a hangover, it's unbelievable. You know, when you're really, I haven't had a bad one for ages, but when you're really hungover and you're like, I literally can't can't move I'm like I have to take her out because it's mean if I don't and then when I take her out you're just watching her just running around with her tongue lolling out of her mouth and beaming and especially if I've got both the dogs Eddie and Astrid it's just the pure joy and happiness of watching them play is the most amazing thing in the world

I know not everyone can have a dog but one of my friends does this thing called Rover where people pay you to look after their dogs. It could be like for a day, it could be for two weeks. And that's a really nice way to get some pet loving in your life if you aren't able to have a pet and also you can earn a bit of money. And so yeah, if you want some dogs in your life, there is Rover. There is also Borrow My Doggy as well, but I feel like Rover is what everyone is using at the minute another message my three-month-old baby just learned how to giggle oh I love baby giggles so much falling in love after 10-year relationship breakup and when you're least expecting it I'm 28 I have a cup of tea and three biscuits after dinner every day and it brings me so much joy. Getting pumped up to Chapel Rhone in the car, enjoying being single and not having to use up that brain space can just

focus on me. Me and my housemates tell each other the best thing that happened to us that day. 30 mins in the morning to do something nice for yourself. I read in bed with coffee. This is also my most sacred thing. I always have my coffee in bed. If I have to wake up at five in the morning to be able to do it, I do it. It's just one of those things to have that little time to yourself, to recalibrate, to adjust. Delicious. I recently turned 34 and have stopped giving a fuck about a lot of things and it's grand. Totally agree. Oh God, I'm so glad for how much less I give a fuck. I still have quite a lot of fucks that I'm handing out willy-nilly,

but no way near as many as I did in my 20s. Thank the Lord. Eating soul-warming foods like soups, stews, and taking the time to make things. I think you probably might have seen my post when I made that pasta bake, but I'm just so into making big, stodgy meals at the minute and I made Grace and I roast on Sunday and there is something really lovely about having a glass of wine having the lights quite dim so pleased because so often with let's talk about it is these heavier subjects and I think that we can get caught in a trap of feeling like because the world is so heavy and because so many people are suffering and things are so difficult that maybe we don't owe it even to ourselves to find the goodness in life but it is that trite thing of putting your oxygen mask on first and everything is going to be easy and better if you're able to see the happiness and the goodness in the small things and I love how little so many of these things were it really was just about getting back into nature appreciating the little

things spending time with friends being open to and finding love and I think that is if we can always just come back to those little things that we know are pillars of happiness, getting out on a walk, eating something delicious, telling someone you love them, and finding the joy in every single day. It's not always easy. I think I'm finding it easier as I'm getting older because life starts to feel, well, you become more aware of your own mortality. Perhaps you lose more people. You're more involved in politics and the news and the world. And even if you suffer through trauma as a child as well, I just think the reality of life starts to set in quite heavily.

And you can either use that as a means to fuel a deep sadness and depression, or you can find ways to find those little joys and it is definitely a practice and it's something that I think can be honed I definitely have such a negative mindset at points and I would say more often than not now I do practice gratefulness and I do try to practice positivity and just remembering that at any point that your life could change irrevocably and that the people that you love might not be there. I mean, maybe that's not the most positive way of looking at it, but it's certainly a way to look at things and just being happy that you're here and that you got to give this life a go. There was that quote that I shared actually, which I'll read. Maybe

it'd be a nice thing to finish on. So this is from Joan Didion. I'm not telling you to make the world better because I don't think that progress is necessarily part of the package. I'm just telling you to live in it, not just endure it, not just suffer it, not just pass through it, but to live in it, to look at it, to try to get the picture, to live recklessly, to take chances, to make your own work and take pride in it, to seize the moment. And if you ask me why you should bother to do it, I could tell you that the graves are fine and private place, but none I think do their embrace, nor do they sing there or write or argue or see the title bore on the Amazon or touch their children. And that's what

there is to do and get it while you can and good luck at it. Gives me goosebumps, that quote, because that's it. The time's going to pass anyway. We get this one chance on this spinning, ginormous earth and however many years we have left, that's all we have. And so we can get stuck in and we can feel morose and depressed and sad, and we can try our best to do our best. But also, we've just got to exist, and sometimes stripping it back to that is quite relieving. I hope this episode brought you a bit of positivity. I loved reading all of your messages,

and it's reinforced to me to bring some goodness into the world and find the goodness in the world as well. I'll see you next week. Love you. Bye. Do you remember the brand that popped up while you were scrolling your social feed? No, but I bet you remember who sponsors your favorite podcast. That's because 74% of listeners recall the brands they hear when listening to podcasts. If you want your business to be top of mind, podcast advertising with ACAST is the way to go. Book your campaign today by visiting go.acast.com slash ads.