Alignment With Jenn - (#5) Teach The Universe to Treat Your Like a Queen: The Hall of Mirrors, Shame Alchemy & Radical Self-Love

Episode Date: April 2, 2025

🎧 EPISODE 5: Teach the Universe to Treat You Like a Queen – The Hall of Mirrors, Shame Alchemy & Radical Self-Love 💡 The world doesn’t respond to your potential. It mirrors your self-perception. In this powerful transmission, I reveal how the relationship you have with yourself shapes every other relationship in your life—from love, to money, to visibility and leadership. If you’ve ever felt stuck in patterns of overgiving, proving, or perfectionism—this episode is your invitation to step out of shame and into sovereignty. You’ll learn how to: ✨ Shift from self-criticism to energetic wholeness ✨ Spot your subconscious shame blueprint and begin to dissolve it ✨ Transform how the world responds to you by changing how you respond to you ✨ Teach the Universe, your partner, your clients, your community—how to treat you This isn’t about surface-level self-care. This is about radical self-devotion that turns you into a woman the Universe adores to serve. 💎 Key Takeaways The Universe is always responding to the way you treat yourself Self-love isn’t a vibe—it’s a subconscious frequency What you shame in yourself will always be mirrored back until it’s healed Your inner dialogue creates your energetic setpoint Compassion is not passive—it’s transformational Wholeness is your birthright, not something you have to earn You are the signal. You are the standard. You are the Queen. 🎙️ Magnetic Sound Bites “The world treats you the way you’ve trained it to.” “There is no one out there. Just you, and the way you’ve learned to see yourself.” “Wholeness is quiet, certain, and magnetic.” “Shame is the invisible ceiling on your abundance.” “The most powerful woman is the one who has nothing to prove to herself anymore.” ⏳ Chapters ⏳ 00:00 | Welcome to the Hall of Mirrors ⏳ 02:53 | How the World Reflects Your Inner Dialogue ⏳ 06:07 | Identifying Your Shame Blueprint ⏳ 12:01 | Turning Shame Into Wholeness ⏳ 19:11 | Tools to Shift Into Queen Energy & Self-Love

Hello and welcome to this episode of Receive. I am Jen D'S-Zazi, your host of this amazing podcast. And I'm so excited to share this new concept with you today. We're going to be talking about how to teach the universe to treat you like a queen and how our self-perception really is at the foundation of everything that we manifest into our lives. And the whole point of today is really to help you unlock your next level of manifestation and creation in your life. and to really step into full ownership of your power because you are soul-shakingly powerful. You are an incredibly powerful being and you have the ability to create any life that you want inside of you. And this concept that I'm going to share with you today is not something that is often talked about in the manifestation space because honestly it's kind of uncomfortable. It's a little deep and it requires effort in order to shift this, what I'm going to be sharing with you. But if you allow yourself to really let what I'm saying today sink in and you hear it, without self-judgment, you hear it, it will transform your entire life. It will transform your

relationships. It will transform your finances. It will transform your career and your purpose. Because what we're going to be talking about today is really our relationship with ourselves and how the universe in every single moment is reflecting back to you what it is that you believe to be true about yourself. And this goes so incredible. deep. If you look at almost any spiritual teaching, you will find this truth reflected. So Kabbalah, my absolute favorite, I love Kabbalah, talks about how all that there really is is you and the creator. Everything that you are experiencing is you and the creator. Neville Goddard, a really famous spiritual teacher, he talks about how everything is you pushed out. In Buddhism, they have a

saying that there is no one out there. There's just you. I might be paraphrasing that a little bit, But please forgive me. So all of these different spiritual teachings agree that essentially everything within the universe is a reflection of you. So if you want more love, more money, more respect, more support, it is about first and foremost your relationship with yourself. Oftentimes when people first start this journey of self-growth, of personal development, of manifestation, they start by thinking, okay, I want this to be different. I want my finances to be different. I want my relationship to be different. I want my purpose to be different. I want all these things outside of me to be different because then I will be able to be happy. When in reality, it's actually the complete opposite of that. It is not have,

do, be. It is be, do have. You must be at first in order for it to be reflected back to you. The universe is essentially a hall of mirrors and you are walking through it and in every single moment you are getting reflected back to you what you are putting out. So with that in mind, the universe does not respond to what it is that you want. It is actually responding to who you are, your self-perception, what you believe about yourself. And I'm going to give you actually an exercise at the end of this. I'm going to give you some tools to use in order to start doing this for yourself. Because when you start doing it, you're going to transform things in your reality essentially immediately. That's how powerful this episode and these tools are. So first premise is that

everything in reality is you pushed out. And so with that, we're going to talk. a lot about relationships today. And when I say relationships, I mean friendships, intimate relationships, I mean your relationship with money, I mean your relationship with yourself. Because your entire life is essentially a series of different relationships. That's what it is. Right? Your work, everything you do is literally a series of relationships. Because according to Kabbala relationships are the greatest way that we grow, especially our intimate relationship. So no one will treat you better than you are treating yourself. Not one single person in the world is going to be able to treat you better than you treat yourself. And so that's why this episode is so important because we're going to

transform how you treat yourself and also give you some more self-compassion, because some of us can be incredibly hard on ourselves. I know I am. And when we get to the tools that I'm going to give you later, you will have more compassion for yourself of why you can be so hard on yourself. So I'm not talking about how you treat yourself in terms of self-care, getting a manicure, getting your lashes done, getting a massage. Those are all beautiful, wonderful things to do with yourself, but those are not things that I'm talking about. What I'm talking about is the way that you relate to yourself, the way that you speak to yourself, the way that you respond to yourself, or don't respond to yourself, to your needs, even your unwanted needs, to your difficult emotions,

your difficult feelings. How do you respond to them? Do you ignore them? Do you try to stuff them down? Do you overindulge in them? Okay, just getting some wheels turning for you. Additionally, the commitments that you make to yourself or the commitments that you don't make to yourself or the commitments that you make and you break with yourself. Your relationship with yourself is at the root and the core of everything you manifest in your life, every single thing. And so beginning to understand and look at that relationship is going to transform everything for you. So looking at do I actually go after my dreams or do I settle? Am I settling in a relationship? Am I settling in my life? Because what's that saying about your relationship with yourself, what you believe about yourself. How about the ways that you honor your own word to yourself

or you fail to honor your word to yourself? Your relationship is at the heart of your money story. Your relationship with yourself. Your love story. Your friendship story. Even how you treat your body. Your relationship to your work and your purpose. How you show up for yourself. How others speak to you and interact with you. All of those are these tiny, tiny reflections, even the amount of money in your bank account are tiny reflections of how you view yourself. That's literally, honestly, if you were to distill down manifestation and find the most important concept, it would be this. Because there is nothing out there. There's only what is in here and your reflection of it. And so with that idea in mind, I want to start to talk about how we develop this relationship with ourselves. Because it's so easy

to be like, oh, God, I suck. I need to be nicer to myself. I need to not speak so negatively to myself. God, but I suck, right? Like so many people have such horrible negative self-talk. And what I want you to realize is that is not you. That is programming that you have picked up along the way. So the self-flagellation, the being unkind to yourself for not being perfect, we can leave that at the door. That doesn't need to be in this space right now. What that is, is programming. That is it. It is like, you know, when you, you know, when you, the Sims first came out and you would like go to Costco, this was my experience. Go to Costco. You'd buy like the CD-ROM of the Sims and then you'd put it in your hard drive on your computer and then you could play the Sims on your computer.

Right. Your computer was not born with the Sims. You had to go out and get that programming and put it in. That's the same with these, this internal relationship with ourselves. As little babies, we have a great relationship with ourselves, right? We cry when we want to cry. We poop when we want to poop. It's the outside world that shifts that relationship with ourselves. And so what's brilliant about that is you can either choose to be the victim of that or you can choose to be the hero of that story. And you can say, you know what? I choose to recognize that I have the power to shift this relationship with myself and ultimately shift my marriage, shift my financial relationship, shift my purpose. All of that shifts as you reshift this relationship with yourself. Because no one can treat you better than you treat yourself, including the universe.

I know I felt that one in my heart. And so what happens is we all essentially develop pretty much every single person I've ever talked to in the world. I don't know anyone that is immune to this has some form of what I call a shame blueprint. Now, what is a shame blueprint? Well, let's start off by actually talking about what shame is. So shame is a deeply, deeply painful emotion that we all feel at certain points in our life. And that arises when you believe that there is something wrong, bad, or unworthy about you. Not something that you did, but actually about you. It's that deep-seated fear that every person has of not being good enough, not being lovable enough. And it literally drives every single aspect of our behavior, every single aspect of it. And so it's often rooted in these early experiences that we've had a

feeling judged, of feeling rejected, of feeling criticized, of not feeling enough. And it can stay buried in our subconscious mind and silently shape how you see yourself and you see your life. I have an experience of this of, God, I must have been in like first grade. And there was this boy, Kenny that I, oh my God, I had such a big crush. He was my first crush was this kid Kenny. And he was super cute. And one day in class, I couldn't hold my pee and I peed the chair in first grade, which I don't know if that's old. I really, frankly, don't, I'm not concerned about it. But I was super, super embarrassed. And the teacher was super nice about it. And she sent me out and I got everything cleaned up and it was no big deal. But then one of my friends went and told Kenny that I peed the chair.

That helped to inform my shame blueprint, that experience of peeing the chair in first grade. So this shame blueprint comes out of experiences that we have at a young age, whether we interpret them positively or negatively, they impact our shame blueprint. And your shame blueprint basically results in different behaviors that you experience. So that you, it's kind of like an operating system that you can have in your mind. And it can cause many, many, many different things for you. So it can cause you to feel the need to constantly prove yourself, right? Maybe you're like an overachiever at work who's like, oh my gosh, I feel like I need to

always be doing the absolute most, get there the earliest in order to avoid feeling the shame of not feeling good enough. Or you exude this like, pick me energy, right? I'm thinking of like, in college there was this guy in all of my eyes. classes, like in O-Kem and chemistry, all of these difficult classes, and he was always sitting right in the front row and he was raising his hand for every single question. In my mind, he was like a brilliant person, right? But in my mind, that was pick me energy. That's kind of how I thought of it. Because he wanted that approval so much that he was willing to go to these great lengths to receive

that approval. And he's not, we all do that in different ways. This shame blueprint causes us to judge ourselves harshly. Many people judge themselves very, very harshly. But it also causes us to judge others because we judge others as a protective mechanism of, oh my God, I'm going to reject them first before they reject me. I'm going to see their flaws so that way I can lift myself up a little bit. I can put myself on a little bit more of a pedestal because I'd never do that, right? This shame is essentially the opposite of wholeness, which the first episode of the podcast is all on wholeness. It's a really powerful episode. If you haven't listened to it, go listen to that next because it will really help you deepen these concepts I'm talking about here. This shame blueprint causes perfectionism. It causes us to feel like I need everything to be perfect. I need to make sure that everything goes my way. I need to keep everything in this nice little controlled box because if not, I might feel this shame. I might feel that I'm not good enough. I might feel that I'm not lovable in some way. A lot of people do this often in their relationships where they try to control the other person or they get unnecessarily upset at things the other person does because they're actually trying to protect themselves.

So much of what we do that are these behaviors that we don't like that we do are literally just self-protection. We're trying to protect ourselves from not being loved from not being enough. The shame blueprint. It stops us from allowing the natural flow of life, of allowing things to happen for us. This shame blueprint also causes us to abandon ourselves. So a lot of my clients talk to me about how they will be in relationships and they will find themselves contorting and abandoning who they are, abandoning the things that they

value in order to have a harmonious relationship in order to receive the love of this person. And I definitely did this. And one of the relationships I had in my 20s, I frigging contorted myself like a little pretzel in order to be loved by this person. And the thing is, is like, I lost out on the opportunity to actually be loved because he never really knew me. I would say most of the men I dated in my 20s never really knew me because I contorted myself. They didn't actually get to see the real me. So I robbed myself of that opportunity of true love in those instances. No regrets. Not the right people. Moving on. Overachieving, overworking. I think that's self-explanatory. Struggling to set boundaries. So there's a book called Calling in the One. It's a really,

really wonderful book. Let me see what the author. Her name is Catherine Woodward Thomas. And something she talks about it is in the book is this dynamic called toxic ties. And it's that in relationships, when we, she doesn't call it the shame blueprint. I'm adding this part in, but when we operate from this shame blueprint, we create something referred to as toxic ties. And toxic ties are created by our own behavior. We oftentimes will blame it on the other person and say, oh my God, he's a narcissist or he just doesn't care about me or he's selfish or yada, yada, yada, when it takes two to tango, we're in a hall of mirrors. We are not, that person is responding to you, okay? Not saying you should blame yourself for it, but I'm saying that if you want

the power back, you need to recognize how what you are doing is contributing to the dynamic. Okay. And it's also going to help you inform your future relationships. So nothing I teach you here is meant for you to self-flagellate and be unkind to yourself. I hope that you recognize that. It's to help you understand how you can see things differently to give you back the power, to give you back the power to create that you want to change that you want to create. Because we only have power when we give ourselves responsibility for situations. So toxic ties. So the first thing that happens in a toxic tie is we do not speak our truth. We sweep our truth under the rug. I have been in the past, the queen of this, so good at this. Oh, it's not that big of a deal. Oh, I don't want to upset. I want to just not,

you know, worry about this. I don't want to create conflict. Those are the excuses we say. But what happens when you do that enough? I know you know it creates resentment. We start to resent that other person for our own lack of communication. Then what happens in toxic ties is we do not set boundaries. We allow this other person to kind of walk over us and walk over us and walk over us, or we allow this person to do things that we are not okay with, even though we know that it's not right. I was recently in a situation with someone who was giving me a lot of gifts, a lot, a lot, a lot of gifts, sending me clients, all sorts of different things. And I felt uncomfortable about it. And I didn't say anything about it. I felt like it was too much. And I didn't say anything

about it. And it created this dynamic of the toxic tie because I did not speak my truth and I did not set the boundary. And then I became resentful and irritated with this person. When in reality, I should have said something, right? This person had no idea. And, you know, that person's stuff is that person's stuff too, right? But I can own my side of the street. I can own what I did. So what happens with these toxic ties is they negatively impact our relationship. And why do we do these things? Why do we not speak our truth. Why do we not set boundaries? Because of our shame blueprint, because we are afraid of not being loved or not being enough. I hope you are having so many freaking lightning bulbs, like a freaking street in Christmas time. So this shame blueprint causes us to hide in plain sight. It causes us to not be seen. It causes us to water down our

message, to water down our social media content, to stuff down our emotions, right? Which we know that that doesn't lead to anything positive. It makes you feel like you can't make mistakes because if you make mistakes, then you're not the perfect person in your mind. It keeps you playing small because you fear being judged by other people when you fear being rejected. When in reality, and this is a massive aha moment that I had and I hope it's the same for you, we do not actually fear rejection from anyone else. We don't. Because if you truly, let's say that there's someone and you really don't give a crap what that person thinks of you, you're not going to be concerned about being rejected by that person. But if there's someone who you actually care about their opinion, you are going to fear rejection from that person,

not because they reject you, but because of what you make it mean about yourself, because you are giving them the power to decide how you view yourself. You're literally wrapping up your power in a golden package and giving it to them, right? And so we do not fear rejection of other people. We fear actually the rejection of ourselves. We fear that we will abandon ourselves, that we will not be good enough to ourselves. And why would that person reject us? Because we're rejecting ourselves first. It goes back to the hall of mirrors. That everything is you pushed out. Everything is the universe reflecting you back to you so you can grow and evolve. So it's actually quite fun of a game if you allow it to be. So now that we have this deeper understanding, I want to talk to you about kind of a process that you can go through in order to

shift to this, in order to move what I think of as from shame to wholeness. Because the truth is that shame is a learned behavior. It is not who you are. It is gunk. It is dust in the mind. And wholeness is your true nature. You are whole and complete as you are. That is how you are created in the image of the creator of the universe of source. The creator, something that is whole and complete, the creator of the universe cannot create anything that's not whole and complete. But what happens is in our human experience, we pick up this programming that moves you away from that truth. And so the goal is to remove that truth, that lack of truth, that illusion. So the first thing is to view all of this as if you are a scientist and you're just observing yourself.

Well, that's interesting that I'm really self-critical, right? I just must have picked that up somewhere. It doesn't mean anything about me. I want you to start kind of almost disassociating from these behaviors that you think about of yourself that are negative behaviors. Oh, man, I was kind of a triggered in that situation, right? Instead of being unkind to yourself, ask yourself, you know, why might I have been that way? Observe yourself like a scientist versus like a judge. mental human being because you're going to grow, you're going to feel so much better. And there's nothing to judge. There's only learning to be had. So the first part of transforming this shame blueprint into a wholeness blueprint, because that's your true nature, is first this awareness of how is this

showing up for you, right? What are the different ways that you self-abandon? What are the different ways that you shame yourself? And one of the really powerful ways to understand these behaviors, this really helped me, was to look at your primary caregivers or the primary people you grew up with. maybe you're raised by your mom and dad, maybe you're raised by a step-parent, maybe you're raised by your grandma, maybe your sister had a really big role in your childhood or your brother. I want you to look at what are some of the things that you felt that that person or how that person treated you negatively. Okay. So this could be that you felt abandoned. You felt like they were critical of you, that they devalued you, they diminished you. They bullied you. They blamed you. And this is not about

blaming that person. Okay. This person was doing the best that they could do. And so this, all this is for, this is not even about that person. This is about you getting understanding of you. Okay. Maybe you felt rejected, shamed. Maybe you felt like they terrorized you or they threatened you or they undermined you or they lied to you or they judged you. I want you to think of what are the words that come up. And I don't want you to make a whole list. I want you to wrote like two or three of these per significant figure in your childhood. Keep it to like max four people. We're not trying to go on a wild rabbit goose chase here. We just want to understand these behaviors because likely, not even likely, you are doing these things to yourself now in some way. So for myself,

one thing I felt is that I felt like there was criticism in my life growing up. Okay. And so I realized that now I'm really, really freaking critical of myself. It's something that I'm working on. I'll probably always be working on it. But I don't want to have that relationship with myself, right? Because that makes me also feel like other people are being critical of me. and I attract experiences that prove that to be true. I don't want that. I don't want that in my universe. So I want to shift that.

So me understanding that and me looking for, okay, how am I doing that with myself allows me to shift that? Okay, so looking at those relationships, look at your past relationships, whether it's your current marriage or past boyfriends that you've had. Look at how did those people interact with you? Because what they are doing is they are showing you a belief about yourself. So I can look and I can see two significant relationships I had were really critical, really critical people.

And I see that and I don't care that it doesn't mean anything about that person. It means it's a reflection of something within me. So that's what I want you to get at understanding. And then once we kind of understand how these things are showing up for ourselves, and you start with some of them, right? This is probably a lifelong journey. You bring it into the light and you show compassion and love for it. You show compassion and love for that little kid inside of you. And I want you to actually close your eyes

and see yourself as a little kid and go give yourself love in that situation. So that little kid and me who felt criticized, I want you to go and give that little kid love and appreciation because shame cannot live in the presence of love. Love casts out fear. Love casts out shame. Love casts out everything. It's the ultimate light of the universe. So, and you can do this often where you go in and you give that little kid love when you're feeling like you want to be critical. Maybe you look in the mirror and you're like, God, I look like a mess today. Close your eyes in that moment and go give that little kid love. Because what that little kid inside of you is doing, you can call that little kid your subconscious mind.

We'll call up the little kid because it sounds cuter. What that little kid is doing is she's acting out the blueprint, the programming that she had been programmed with. That's it. And your caregivers, that's what they were doing. So we're not blaming. there's nobody at fault. I had a therapist years ago and she said to me that blame, whenever we want to blame someone, it's because we're feeling shame about something. And every single time, that was probably a decade ago that I heard that, it's always been true. So when you feel the need to blame,

it's because you're trying to protect yourself for feeling shame. So bring light and love into that little child. And then a really, really powerful way to fully remove this and clear this is through subconscious re-programming work and through somatic release work. We remove the emotion from the body and we show the mind that it no longer needs to operate that program. That's what subconscious reprogramming is, is it's literally shifting the programs that your mind is playing. That's why it's so incredibly powerful. And when you do it correctly, when you do it with really effective, powerful methods, you get incredible results. You see things differently. You feel like your vision is better the next day. You feel calmer in your nervous system than you've ever felt because your mind is no longer needing

to play out this shame blueprint. So, yeah. So I hope that you absolutely loved that. And I hope that you use these tools. If you would like help shifting your shame blueprint working through this, you want guidance. That is what my programs are for. And we do this work where we clear these deep, these fears, these doubts that we have, these unhelpful behaviors.

And you transform. truly the program that I lead is beyond powerful. The women in it experience massive shifts. They experience life transformations because this is work most people never do in their lifetimes. And when you do it, you get to experience the result of that work, which is incredible manifestations in your life, which is feeling better, which is a better relationship with money, a better relationship with your kids, a better relationship with yourself. Because it's all about a relationship with ourselves. That's where it starts. So if you'd like more info on my program, you know what to do. Message me the word podcast on Instagram and I will send you a little video about the program. You can see if it's a good

fit for you. I would love to hear your reflections on this. I would love to hear any aha moments that you have. Feel free to message them to me on Instagram at alignment with Jen. All right. It has been an honor to be here with you and I'll see you in the next episode.