Alignment With Jenn - (53) How to Have Quiet Confidence✨ Eliminate Self Doubt

Episode Date: July 10, 2026

🙌 Want to explore coaching with Jenn? DM the word "PODCAST" on Instagram → @alignmentwithjennYou can win the deal in the boardroom and still be convinced you'll be left in your relationship. You can be the most competent woman in your field and still feel you have to earn the right to rest, to receive, to be loved. That gap isn't a flaw in your confidence — it's the difference between confidence and worthiness, and today we close it.In this episode, Jenn unpacks why confidence and worthiness live in two completely different systems — one conditional and domain-specific, the other inherent and global — and why no amount of achievement will ever patch a worthiness wound. She shares the two ways unworthiness quietly runs your life (fueling hyper-achievement or blocking your ability to receive), how it shows up in love, money, and career, and then walks you through her 5 steps to build "dangerously confident" self-trust rooted in worthiness instead of performance. The episode closes with a guided practice to teach your nervous system that it's safe to receive.You'll learn:- The real difference between confidence (ability) and worthiness (deserving) — and why competence never fixes an enoughness problem- The two hidden patterns: how unworthiness either drives relentless achievement or silently blocks you from receiving love, money, and ease- How the worthiness wound shows up in your relationships, your income ceilings, and your invisible career ceilings- The 5 steps to become dangerously confident — separating confidence from worthiness, shrinking the issue, acknowledging yourself, rewiring the core memories, and teaching your body it's safe to receive- A guided practice to expand your capacity to receive and bring your heart into coherence✨ WORK WITH ME: Ready to effortlessly live your dream life? Message me the word "PODCAST" on Instagram to learn more about my deep-dive coaching program, The Infinite Experience.💰 NEW: 7-Day Money Block Detox: "Everything I Touch Turns to Gold" rewires your subconscious mind and nervous system so abundance flows naturally → https://jenn-ditzhazy.mykajabi.com/offers/PE995nM2/checkout

Hello and welcome to this episode of the alignment with Jen podcast. I am your host, Jen D'SAzy, and today we are going to be talking about the four-step process for becoming dangerously confident. So I am going to approach this from a different angle than probably any other confidence, YouTube, or podcast that you've watched because I believe that there's a huge misunderstanding that people have of what confidence really is. I believe that there's confidence and then I believe that there's worthiness. And when you understand this distinction, I think it's actually going to help you become way more confident literally by the end of this episode. So buckle up because you're going to get a lot of amazing tools, a lot of amazing clarity on how to become one of the most confident people that you

know. First, I want to mention that I believe that most people don't necessarily have a confidence issue, I believe that most people actually have a worthiness issue. And I want to create that distinction so you can understand what I mean by that. And this difference between the two is why you can be in one room and feel incredibly good about yourself and then in another room and not feel good about yourself. Most people don't struggle in every area of their life, but there's certain areas where they feel like they struggle more, right? And so I want to help you understand this. So confidence says, I can do this. Confidence is built on skill. it's built on evidence, it's built on repetition, it's mastery or progress within a certain area.

Okay. Worthiness is I deserve this and I, whether or not I do well, it doesn't affect my own sense of self. Worthiness is unconditional. It's that I am worthy of all of the things that I desire, of love, of success, of joy, of an amazing relationship. simply because I am a soul that has incarnated and I am a magnificent soul. Confidence is something that we gain.

It's within our skills. It's in particular areas of our life. And so I want to help you actually grow your worthiness and also explain how to grow your confidence. But I believe as you understand how to really grow your worthiness, you are going to feel insanely more confident automatically because I believe that worthiness actually underpins confidence. I want to tell a story. So I dated this man a few years ago, and he was exceptionally, exceptionally successful. He owned a really successful law firm, one of the largest ones in the city.

He had this beautiful multi-million dollar house in one of the most expensive neighborhoods. He had this fleet of cars. He had all of this amazing travel. He had all of the stuff, right? And one day he was telling me about his childhood and these experiences that he had had. And I was just amazed because he came from a really difficult place. He didn't have the kind of support that most people would have. He basically didn't have any support at all. And he had to do all of this on his own, completely on his own. And I said, you know, that's really amazing what you've been able to accomplish starting from where you started from. And he like sits there for a second and he's really, really quiet. And he's like, you know, I did all of that because I wanted to show my dad that I was better than him. And I was like, whoa.

Like, that's kind of a crazy thing to say. But I think it perfectly illustrates the difference between confidence and the difference between worthiness. He achieved all of that success because he felt deeply unworthy. He was trying his whole life to prove to someone else that he was worthy of love, of these deeper things that we desire. But he was extremely confident, right? When he would show up in the courtroom, he was exceptionally confident.

He was exceptionally confident. in dating. He was a confident person, right? But he felt deeply unworthy. And when we feel deeply unworthy, it limits our ability to feel the deep sense of fulfillment and happiness that we truly, truly, truly, truly want. So I feel like, yeah, you can become confident easily. Confidence can easily be learned. But I think worthiness and feeling deeply worthy is a journey we go on throughout our whole life. I titled this episode, Dangerous Confidence. And the reason I did that is because I think there's a difference between surface level confidence, which is, unfortunately what I believe this story illustrates. Then I believe there's dangerous confidence, which is built on worth, right? Confidence

in the traditional sense is built on skills. It's built on things that can be taken away, right? This man, if all of his stuff had been taken away, he wouldn't feel great about himself. But a truly, deeply worthy individual who knows that on a sole level that they are worthy and deserving and that their worth is not up for negotiation could lose everything and still be like, okay, I'm good, I'll figure it out, I'll be okay. There's this deep sense of resiliency because of that deep knowing on a level that you are worthy and deserving simply because you exist. And I know for a lot of people, that's a really difficult concept to grasp because it's very difficult to disassociate our earning from our worthiness. And it doesn't mean that you don't have to earn success by gaining the

skills and the confidence in the areas that you want. That's a non-negotiable. But it means that in order to feel the deep sense of true confidence, of true peace within yourself, you have to work on the worthiness game as well. Because the truth is that worthiness shows up everywhere. It affects everyone. It affects no matter the level of success like this man. There's a variety of ways that unworthiness shows up, but I kind of see two big categories in my work. One is this hyper achievement that is fueled by this deep sense of unworthiness, which is kind of that story described.

But then there's this unworthiness that I think is actually more common for women than for men, and it's unworthiness blocking or receiving. So I was at a Dr. Joe event, and this woman stood up and she did a, he has people stand up and do testimony. And she had had chronic migraines for many, many, many years. And she'd gone to, what was it, eight Dr. Joe events. And at his events, you do meditations, but then you can also apply to be a

healy, meaning that people will use energy healing to help you heal. And it's remarkable. I saw a man within the span of a week dramatically reduce his Parkinson's and his shaking from those healings in the meditations. It was remarkable. What happened with this woman is she had gone to all these events and she had never applied to be a healy, even though it could have helped her migraines. And she said, it never even occurred to me because I never felt like I was worthy of it. I always felt like everyone else deserved it above me. And I hear this probably on a daily basis with my clients where they put everybody else before themselves. That is a deep worthiness wound because you are not allowing yourself to receive what you need. This woman needed a healing

and she couldn't receive it because she felt so unworthy. So she spent multiple years suffering when she didn't need to. She could have had a healing. Anyway, what ends up happening is she still didn't ask for a healing, but through the process of healing another person, she was healed and her migraines went away. And she shared in her story, she's like, I wish I had asked sooner for this healing because it would have helped me.

And so that's the second way that this unworthiness shows up is this unworthiness to receive. and it can be refusing to receive help. Hello, I bet there's a lot of people listening that are raising their hands. It's this unworthiness to receive the things that you want, right? Believing that you're not worthy of that next level of income because maybe no one else in your family has ever had it. Or believing that the kind of relationship that you want isn't possible for you. Believing the kind of lifestyle that you want isn't possible for you, right?

It's checking yourself out of the game before you even put yourself in the game. And this is very unconscious. Most of the time we aren't aware of this. Okay. So just to kind of recap this idea, we have this hyper achiever who is achieving not for the sake of the joy of the work, but to like prove something. That's a deep unworthiness. Then there's this not able to receive because you also feel unworthy.

I want to give you some examples of how this can show up and how this might be affecting you. So you could understand it more deeply. So in relationships, it can look like. like choosing partners who are projects or choosing partners who are emotionally unavailable or need fixing or saving or choosing partners who are extremely inconsistent and are not consistent in their love and their support for you because underpinning all these things is this belief I don't deserve more than that. And something Tony Robbins talks about is he said that he's like, there's really one fear or limiting belief that people have. And it masks as two, but it's really one.

and it's this fear of not feeling worthy and good enough for what you want. And then the other one is the fear that I won't be loved. And he says that our ultimate fear is that I am not worthy enough and so I won't be loved. And so understanding that this typically underpins a lot of the behaviors that we have and beginning to work on this will change your entire life. I have done so much work on this on myself and I believe many of the blessings in my life today would never have happened if I hadn't become a person who believes she's worthy of the things that she desires, right? And so it really can change as you work on this. And we'll talk about how to do that.

In wealth, they can show up as these feast or famine cycles of like you hit a good amount of money and then you spend it all because you fear and you feel unworthy of that next level. Undercharging, not charging enough or not wanting to ask for more money, that's a really common one. guilt around, you know, taking too much, not wanting to like have too much because it might take from other people. In career, it can look like creating these invisible ceilings where you might reach a certain level and then you'll pull back because you fear what will happen if you really reach that next level. It can look like over preparing, overdoing everything, burning yourself out, overgiving. Overgiving is a massive indicator of this root fear of this unworthiness. And truthfully,

I believe that every other fear we have is sprouted out of this. And I had a client tell me, she was like, you know, you could do every single session that you ever do with your clients, these rewiring sessions I do, all on unworthiness. And I was like, that's actually extremely true. Because if you keep digging deep enough on any fear, it kind of all roots back to this, which is what Tony Robbins was saying. So in career, it can look like avoiding visibility, right? Fearing that you're not enough for that level of success that you want.

or staying in roles that are too small for you too long. Guilty, I've done that before. Staying in relationships too long that aren't good enough and trying to make them work when you know on a deep soul level, it's not quite right for you. Because the thing about worthiness is the universe already, the universe, the creator, God wants to give you everything, even way more than you can imagine. What you imagine for yourself is a small fraction, less than 1% of everything. that's available to you for you to receive. And quantum physics shows us that that's already all

available. All of these different potentials are already available. And that's what ancient spiritual teachings teach too, is that all of this everything that you could ever possibly want to manifest times a thousand is already available to you. And your work in this life is to expand your vessel, your ability to receive it and to hold it. And one of the biggest things that shrinks our vessel is, is this feeling unworthy of it, this feeling like I don't deeply deserve this. On some level, it's this fear that there's something wrong with you. And so you don't deserve those things that you want. That's the core fear.

But the reality is these things already exist. The universe already wants to give them to you. Your job is to see past this illusion in the mind of unworthiness in order to receive them. That's it. That's the work, even though it's the work. It's not that simple. The reason that I believe that worthiness can feel like this trap is because oftentimes what people do is they will constantly move the measuring stick. They'll reach one level of success, right, and they'll still feel unworthy, like that example I gave of that gentleman. He would reach a

certain level of success and then he'd look and he'd be like, does my dad think I'm good enough now? Okay, no, okay, I better keep going. It's constantly moving that measuring stick. It can be an internal measuring stick of I'm not quite doing enough. I'm not quite doing enough. I'm not quite doing enough. I have to keep doing more. And that creates a lot of disharmony in the soul, a lot of disarmony in the body, a lot of lack of peace. And so we want to give ourselves this deep sense of worthiness so that we can stop chasing these external metrics, chasing other people's opinions and validation, and we can start moving from our own internal metric system, from our own internal compass of what feels right for us. This unworthiness is creation from lack. When we create from lack, eventually

we're going to get more lack. But when we create from wholeness, and you can go to the very first episode I have of this podcast is all on wholeness, it's such a great topic. But when we create from wholeness of this belief that I am whole and complete as I am, because I'm a divine soul, I can accomplish anything as I gain the skills and the confidence for it, then we're working in a completely different place. We are operating from a place of joy. We're creating from a place of joy, of fulfillment rather than a place of, oh my gosh, I hope I'm good enough and I'll get to be good enough when I do this because that's not how it work. Nothing in the external world is ever going to make you feel good enough. It's only once we feel worthy and we connect to this aspect of our soul

that already knows you're worthy, then can we feel truly worthy? I want to give you this like little thought experiment about worthiness because as I mentioned, it's this yardstick, right, that people typically keep moving. And that's why they never feel good enough is because they're always expanding what good enough really means. It's nebulous. But I thought about this idea of imagine that you go to a school and there's a classroom of fifth graders all standing outside. And you go up to them and you say, okay, I want everybody to get in line and I want you to organize yourselves from most worthy to least worthy. You're going to get some extremely confused faces, right? They're going to be like, this girl's off her rocker. Then eventually

they'll probably start to organize themselves. And one of them is going to be like, okay, well, you know what, I got the new Nike XYZs, and so I should probably go first. Someone else is going to be like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like I ran the fastest mile yesterday, so I should go first. Someone else is going to be like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm the prettiest, so I should go first. Someone else is going to say, no, I got the highest grade on the test. I should go first, right? Because when we measure worthiness from the external, it can always change, right? Worthiness is a internal decision that you have to make, and that's going to create deep lasting confidence that will allow you to try new things and fail and know that you'll be okay on the other side. You got it? Let's talk about

the five steps to becoming extremely worthy. The first one is separating worthiness from confidence. You can absolutely suck at something, right? You can be terrible at something. I'm terrible at basketball. terrible at it. And if I really cared about basketball and I was terrible at it and I associated my worth with that, that would really affect me. I'd feel terrible. So we have to disassociate our skill and our confidence in something from our innate worthiness. I can suck at basketball and still be worthy of love, still be worthy of financial freedom, still be worthy of all of the blessings that I want in this life. Because worthiness is the foundation. It's assumed. And you, you're not, you, yes, you have to do the things, you have to gain the skills, but that foundational level is there.

So separating those two out. And I think something that can be helpful is to think about in your life, what are areas where you feel maybe unworthy? What are areas where you maybe feel that you lack confidence? Maybe you lack skill. And confidence can help us to access and connect to our worthiness. So that's the first piece, is separating these. There's going to be areas in your life where you need to gain more skills. That's it. Starting a business requires a lot of skills. Does that mean because you don't have those skills that you are not worthy of that business success? No, it doesn't mean that. Same with relationship. Just because maybe you don't understand how to date, you're not great at dating, or you don't know how to talk to guys very well. That doesn't mean you're

unworthy of the kind of love that you want. It means that there's some skills you can gain, some books you can read, some coaching that you can get. But on a deep level, no matter what your skill level is, you're still worthy of that relationship that you want. You're still worthy of that love that you want. You're so worthy of that success that you want. And this is what people get convoluted. And so we got to separate them out and you've got to start seeing, you know what, it's not that I'm unworthy. I just need to gain some skills in this area. I just need to work on my business acumen, my financial acumen. Stop believing. that it's saying something about you and you as there being something wrong with you because you

are not great at it. Just gain the skills. We live in a time where we can gain more skills than any other time in history. Second is shrinking the issue. So this is helpful for anything. And it's realizing that I think sometimes people believe this blanket idea of like, oh, I don't feel I'm not worthy of the love that I want or I'm not worthy of the life that I want or whatever. And shrinking it to say, you know, what? Not every single part of you feels unworthy. There is maybe a part of you that feels unworthy, but not every single part of you feels that way. Not every single part of you feels like you're not confident, right? Saying, you know, I'm just not confident is a terrible thing to say, saying, you know what? Sometimes I don't feel confident, public speaking. Sometimes I don't feel

confident in the content I release. Sometimes I don't feel confident. You're minimizing it. When you do that, it allows the mind to grasp it. When we create these huge global beliefs with our language, what we do is we really make things difficult for ourselves and we make things difficult for our mind because our mind believes what we say. And so when we shrink it down, suddenly you're shrinking the problem, you're shrinking the challenge. You know, sometimes I don't feel fully worthy. Sometimes I do though. Sometimes I do. You know, it doesn't need to be perfect. But that's the second piece of this is in your life, where are you, are you struggling with this? And where can you shrink it down? And I think you should actually do these things, like journal on this after you listen to this episode. Listen to it again. The third one around this is acknowledging yourself. So I have this practice that I teach my clients and it's called the self-acknowledgement practice. And it's literally to teach yourself and give yourself evidence of yourself being worthy and yourself being confident. And so the way that we do this is typically I'll say like once every 24 hours, I just want you to list out

all the things that you did that were cool or awesome or great, even small things. Like, I took my dog for a walk when I didn't feel like it. You know, that's cool. I went for a run when I didn't feel like it. Or I released five pieces of content this week. I'm proud of that. Being proud of yourself, acknowledging yourself, because oftentimes the reason that we feel unworthy is not because our external reality is saying that. It's because we're looking for our external reality to say it and we're not getting it all the time when we want it when in reality we can give it to ourselves. So this self-acknowledgement practice gives it to you. It helps you get it for yourself. The subconscious mind will always notice what you direct it on. Think of your mind as like a laser

beam and you get to direct that laser beam. When you direct that laser beam, beginning to practice this self-acknowledgement and knowing every 24 hours I'm going to do this, your mind is going to start to acknowledge itself on its own. That is phenomenal for building confidence and worthiness. Because the thing is, on a sole level, you already know you're worthy. It's just the human aspect of you forgot. Just kind of forgot, right? Where our little human is so forgetful. So we want to reconnect to that. Another piece of this, and this is really, I think, the most important piece of all of this is rewiring these core beliefs and these core memories around worthiness. So as we went about our lives, when we were babies, we felt exceptionally worthy, right? You don't see a baby being like, oh my God, do I deserve that milk? Like, do I deserve that? No, that baby cries and demands that. Unworthiness is a learned behavior. The baby doesn't know it, but then the toddler kind of starts to know it. Then the adolescent is kind of learning it. Then by adulthood, you know it, right? You feel unworthy in certain ways. And so when we can rewire, meaning clear out that emotional charge of those core memories,

around that or those core beliefs around that, then we can begin to return to that belief that the baby had of feeling worthy of these things, feeling confident within ourselves. Because as you grow your worthiness, your confidence is already going to grow. It's just, it's impossible for it not to. Confidence is a side effect of deep worthiness. And so the way that we work on these core memories is when you pull up a memory, this is the coolest thing I think. You have about a four-hour for that memory to be rewritten. Literally, our memories are not printed in stone. They're malleable. And so you can go in and change the emotional nature of that memory from something that was really painful and traumatic to something that's lighter. That's what we can do. And this is the kind of work that I do with my clients where we work

on these core beliefs like unworthiness at a deeper level. So if you're interested in help with that, you can send me the word podcast on Instagram. And I will say, send you a five-minute video about my program. My Instagram is at alignment with Jen. You can also email me. I'll put my email in the show notes. We work on releasing those memories and those fears and those beliefs associated with this. That way we return to that more baby-like state. You know, who's just like, yeah, obviously I deserve all the milk in the world. Like, duh. It's free. Okay. Then the last piece part of this is teaching your body that it's safe to receive, teaching yourself that it's safe to receive. So this is also part of kind of creating that

evidence. One way is through resting, because resting is actually receiving. It's when we receive ideas. It's when we receive rest and healing. So practicing receiving, receiving rest, resting when you need to instead of being like, oh God, I better do more else I'm going to freaking die and blow up. Or it's practicing receiving compliments from other people. It's practicing receiving money, raising your prices, receiving more money. It's practicing putting your offers out there and receiving payment for those offers. It's practicing instead of being like, oh, I'm just not going to charge for my work because I'm a new business owner to be like, no, I still deserve to charge for this. So where can you practice receiving more? Noticing that. Receiving from yourself with that

self-acknowledgement practice. So I hope that this was exceptionally helpful for you. Please leave me a comment I'd love to hear your perspective. And also follow the podcast if this resonates with you. It really helps me grow the podcast and be able to create more episodes for you. I have so many more. We could go on this forever. And so, yes, I appreciate you. And I'm so happy you're here.

Bye.