Alignment With Jenn - (54) BECOME ADDICTED TO SELF DISCIPLINE WITH THESE 5 TOOLS

Episode Date: July 17, 2026

🙌 Want to explore coaching with Jenn? DM the word "PODCAST" on Instagram → @alignmentwithjennYou start strong. You white-knuckle a new habit for two weeks. Then it quietly falls apart ��� and you tell yourself it's a discipline problem. It's not.In this episode, I'm breaking down why the most consistent, successful women aren't running on more discipline — they're running on devotion. We get into the "vessel problem" behind why your motivation keeps leaking out no matter how much you pour in, the five fuel sources quietly burning you out, and why resistance shows up right before your biggest expansion, not as a sign you're failing. I close with the 40-Day Devotion Experiment — a simple framework for choosing one sacred promise and actually keeping it.You'll learn:- Why inconsistency is a "vessel problem," not a willpower problem — and how to stop the leak- The real difference between motivation (a feeling) and devotion (a decision)- The 5 fuel sources quietly burning you out, and the 5 that actually last- How to run your own 40-day devotion practice that rebuilds self-trust one kept promise at a time✨ WORK WITH ME: Ready to effortlessly live your dream life? Message me the word "PODCAST" on Instagram to learn more about my deep-dive coaching program, The Infinite Experience.💰 NEW: 7-Day Money Block Detox: "Everything I Touch Turns to Gold" rewires your subconscious mind and nervous system so abundance flows naturally → https://jenn-ditzhazy.mykajabi.com/offers/PE995nM2/checkout

Hello and welcome to this episode of the Alignment with Jen podcast. I am your host, Jen Detsasey, and today we are going to be diving into how to become the most disciplined and devoted version of yourself. So I want to get into this idea of discipline because something I hear over and over and over again from the women that I work with who are incredibly intelligent, high achieving women, who oftentimes want to create their own business or their own purpose or grow, their own business or purpose, and they find that they are struggling to follow through on the things that they say that they want to do. And they view it as this discipline problem. And I truly believe that it's one of the biggest lies that you need to have more discipline in order to be

very, very successful. I think that there's other things that are more important. And I think that discipline is actually a symptom of something that's actually going on below the surface. And so what I want to give you today is basically a toolkit of different ways that you can look at discipline and understand discipline to actually become someone who consistently follows through on the things that you say that you want to do because I believe that discipline is one of the highest forms of self-love. And when I say discipline, I mean following through on the things that we say that we want to do is one of the ways that we build deep, deep lasting self-trust. I believe it's essential. it's the bedrock of self-trust, but it's also the bedrock of every single thing that you want to manifest

into your life. Any relationship, any career, any business that you want to create, any health habit that you want to sustain, your fitness goals, financial goals, all of them require you to show up and follow through for your bigger vision. And so I want to talk about why do we struggle to have discipline. What can we do to think about it a little bit differently? And if you've listened to my podcast before, you know, I'm a big proponent of using devotion rather than discipline, and we'll talk about that. So I'm super excited to share this episode with you because it's probably one of the most common things that I hear is, I just don't follow through. Or I'll start something and I'll get a little bit of the way and then I'll pull back. Or I'll start and then maybe I'll kind of

fizzle out. And so I want to help you understand why this might be happening and how to shift it. The first point that I want to make is that it is not a discipline problem. It's not that you need to train yourself to become more disciplined. I believe that's part of the equation. Right. We're not going to leave that completely off the table, but I think there's something bigger. And I think it's an identity issue and a vessel issue. So the idea is that everything that we want already exists in the quantum field. It already exists in the universe. In order for you to receive it, you have to build the vessel. You have to build the ability, the capacity to hold it. And what can happen is you can short circuit if you receive something that you are not ready to hold.

So let's say that this happens a lot with lottery winners where they will receive this massive amount of money, but they won't have the skills, they won't have the mindset, they won't have the capacity to hold that money and typically it will spend all of it and lose it. This happens with a lot of celebrities who suddenly hit it big and then they spend all of their money because they don't have the structure, the ability to hold it. And that is really what I think is actually going on with this big follow-through or discipline issue that we're talking about is that we actually have to expand our vessel to hold that next level of what we're wanting to create. And we do that through our identity. So something Tony Robbins talks about is that identity,

is the strongest driving force behind everything. We will let go of our values, the things that we say are important to us in order to meet the beliefs of our identity. What is your identity? Your identity is simply what you believe about yourself. So if you believe, I am someone who consistently follows through. I am someone who shows up for my goals. That is going to create a very different result in your life than if you consistently tell yourself, you know what? I take two steps forward. and one step back, or I'll start something and I don't finish it. When you say those phrases, you are literally creating your identity. Those phrases become your reality. So the simplest thing literally right now in this moment is just stop saying those things. Start affirming the identity

that you want to become. I am someone who consistently follows through. I am someone who shows up for my dreams and my goals. I love myself enough to prioritize myself and my bigger vision over what's currently happening that I sort of need to react to in my life right now. What happens is when your vessel is small, it's not ready to hold that next level. And by vessel, I mean your identity, I mean your beliefs, your internal state, your sense of purpose, which we'll get into in a moment, your connection to your why, which I'm going to get into as well, your vessel can feel small. And so what will happen is you might get these bursts of motivation, right? And you'll work super hard for a little bit, and then you'll pull back. Or you might stay really, really, really consistent with the fitness goals that

you've created or the budget that you've created to meet your financial goals. And then something will happen. It will derail you. It's because on the deepest level, your identity is not aligned yet with that version of you that you're wanting to create. So we need to create that alignment. I want to share this concept really briefly before we get into it in a little bit deeper of a way, is this idea of devotion over discipline. And I love, love, love this concept because discipline can feel very punitive. When I say I need to discipline myself or you discipline a child or you get disciplined in school, that often carries a negative energy with it. Typically, it's a repercussion for not doing something well enough. It's a punishment, essentially. But what devotion is, is you can get the same

result from being devoted. What devotion is, it is moving through love. It is, I am doing this because I am so in love with what I am doing. I am so in love with becoming the best version of myself. I am so in love with myself. I am so in love with my partner. I am so in love with my clients and my business that I want to show up for it. That's a very different energy and it's more of a pole energy rather than a push and a force energy. I think oftentimes discipline can create this push or this force within your life and eventually it will break if you do not have the right underpinnings in it. And so I want to start encouraging you to think of, I don't need to be more disciplined. I need to be more devoted. I need to fall in love with myself more. I need to fall in love with my health, my wealth, my business, the life that I want to

create for myself. Because what's going to happen then is I am going to be pulled, like there's going to be this magnet that's pulling me forward and drawing me to the future that I want to create because I'm so in love with it. I think the perfect example of devotion is actually Tony Robbins. So I talk about him a lot. He's really, really influenced the way that I teach. I've done a lot of Tony Robbins events. And he's really influenced me in a lot of ways. And what I've seen after going to, I don't know the exact amount I've gone to over 20 of his events. What I've seen is that he is extremely devoted. He's disciplined, yes, but he's also extremely devoted. He is pulled to serve his purpose. He is pulled to serve the people in his life, the people in his audience. He does not need to do the events

that he does. He has plenty of money. There's no need for it. But he does them because he's so pulled for his mission. He's so devoted. And I believe that discipline will eventually wear out. We will get tired. We will get burned out. But devotion doesn't wear out. We will show up more for the people that we care about, for the things that we care about, for something bigger than ourselves, far longer than we will show up for a specific outcome that we are trying to discipline ourselves to get. So that leads me to my second point, changing your fuel source. So when you change your fuel source, meaning your source of motivation, your source of why you're doing things, everything in your entire life will change. So this is going back to that concept of discipline over devotion.

What this is is having a purpose for everything that you do, every single thing. Your life should not be extremely complicated that it's hard for you to find a purpose for every single thing that you do. If something doesn't have a purpose and you're having a hard time connecting to the purpose or the purpose is a weak purpose, then it's going to be very difficult for you to stay on the path of creating the best life that you can possibly create for yourself. You're going to constantly be pulled in all of these different directions, right? Napoleon Hill in his book Outwitting the Devil, he calls it drifting. And it's this idea that people just drift through their life. They sort of get on this autopilot and they kind of drift through life. And things will pull them

in different directions like, oh, this is a cool opportunity. This is a cool thing. Oh, this food looks good. Oh, this looks like a fun way to spend my money. They're constantly being pulled in all of these directions because they don't have a deeper purpose. They don't have a deeper clarity on the actual life that they want to create. And so we don't want to be drifters. I really encourage you to read that book. It's fantastic. But we don't want to be drifters. We want to be purpose-led creators of our lives. And we do that by understanding the why behind every single thing that we do. Why do I care about going to the gym? Is it so I can have a nice body for the summer? Honestly, that's not that great of a fuel source. That might pull me for a little bit,

but something deeper, something more meaningful. So I can show up for my grandkids 20 years from now. So I can be fit and healthy and care for them. So that way I have the energy. to pour into my clients. I have the energy to pour into my children now or my family or my friends. So that way, I have mental clarity to actually be able to create great podcasts for you guys, right? Why for you? Think about for you. Why do you want to do everything that you do? And I encourage you, it has to be something that moves you internally. Because when we're just motivated by the external, right oh cool like i can make this amount of money or i can you know look really good on the beach this summer or people are going to think it's cool when i have a million followers or whatever those do

not last they are not fulfilling they don't drive us they don't pull us eventually we will lose that motivation because that's pull of the ego that's being driven by the ego not by our soul and our higher self so when you look into why i would encourage you to look at the key areas of your life, right? Your health, your wealth, your purpose, your career, your relationships, yourself, look in all of those areas and understand who do you want to be in that area? And why do you want that? Why does it matter for you to have that business? Why does it matter for you to have that promotion? And if all you can come up with is a surface level reason that is to look good or for other people to think certain things of you or to have status, those are not the

needs of the soul. We want to connect to the needs of the soul. What are the needs of the soul? The needs of the soul are growth, contribution, creating something in this life that betters the world. So this gets me into kind of understanding the different fuel sources. And I want to get into this because I think it's essential and it's probably the most important thing I'll say in this episode. First is the desire to share. Our soul is endlessly giving because our soul is created by the impression of the creator of God of whatever you want to call it. And God, the creator, is endlessly giving. And so when we have this desire, because we want to share something, it is going to be a very different fuel source. Our motivation will be different, but also the magnetism of what we create is going to be

so much more potent. So I talk to a lot of business owners who are just straight up burned out. And they're like, I've been working and working and I'm trying so hard and just like, I feel like I'm hitting a blockade, if you will. And oftentimes it's because they're moving from the wrong fuel source. I really believe that you will get burned out significantly less if at all if you are moving from the right fuel source. And you have good boundaries, right, and all the other pieces of equation to not get burned out. When we are doing something because we genuinely want to share, I had a call with a client this morning, and I adore this client. And she is branching out on her own and she's building up her coaching business. And I see the light in her eyes. I see the posture of her body

when she talks about the work that she does with women. It is fantastic. Her fuel source is so pure. It is so powerful. And I know simply because that's her fuel source, she's going to be incredibly successful because she's fueled by the right energy. Ultimately, this kind of goes down to love. When we are fueled by love when we are fueled by the desire to give to become more to expand those are the fuel sources of the soul and the soul is endlessly resourceful it's endlessly magnetic it's always drawing everything it needs to you we get tripped up when we become fueled by the desires of the ego so what are those those could be metrics having a certain amount of downloads having a certain amount of views having a certain amount of revenue in your business right without

tying those to something deeper, they're like a thin piece of paper waving in the wind. They're never really going to anchor you and they're never really going to allow you to feel this immense pole. And I believe when we feel that immense pull, when we have that magnetism, that is when, watch out, things become fantastic. We begin to attract. We begin to magnetize everything that we need and we like get into this incredible flow of life. Things start to be drawn to. to us versus us having to force our way through creating things. If your fuel source is other people's approval, oh, I'm going to do this because my parents have always told me I'm supposed to be a doctor. Not the right fuel source. I'm going to do this because people are going to think it's so cool

when I get there, right? I'll show them. I shared on a previous episode that I had this conversation with somebody that I was dating a few years ago and he was extremely successful. And he said that the reason he created this level of success is to show his dad that he was worthy, that he was good enough, essentially. That's not a fantastic fuel source, and that leaks into other areas. We want to connect to the fuel source of the soul. The fear of falling behind, if your fuel source is fear, I'm sorry, but you have to upgrade that because that's eventually going to run out. It's like using the wrong gasoline in your car. It's going to gunk up your engine. It's going to slow you down. it might propel you to a certain extent, but what's going to get you to the highest level of success

that you can achieve the deepest level of fulfillment is having that fuel source that's connected to the desires of your soul. Tony Robbins talks about the art of fulfillment, I think it is, and the science of success, I believe, are the two terms. I might be getting those a little wrong. But he says that the greatest failure is to be successful without fulfillment. people can achieve wild levels of success and feel terrible, be depressed, be anxious, be so, so deeply unfulfilled and unaligned because they are not operating from the right fuel source. And when you change this, when you begin to serve something greater than yourself, whether it's a certain community of people that you really care about, whether it is because I really want to

create a fantastic life for my family, the more that we can get into this desire to serve, the better our fuel source is going to be because we are going to tap into realms of energy that we do not have access to when we are only serving ourselves. So the third piece I want to say about this, that was a little bit of a tangent I went on there. The third piece I want to say is that resistance is not a sign to stop. Oftentimes people will ask me, you know, I have been really working toward this goal and I'm feeling all of this resistance. Like it's not really working out. It's very difficult, it's challenging. That's going to happen. When you start to go after something that you really want, that is new, that requires you to step into a new identity, you're going to experience obstacles.

I had this client message me last week, and she has just started dating again. And she said that she had this experience where somebody wasn't communicating and it was giving her a lot of anxiety. And she's like, does this mean that I'm not meant to meet someone? Does this mean that I, you know, and repelling the kind of guy that I want to meet. And I said, no, it's the opposite. What this means is you're moving closer toward what it is you want, because the universe is showing you what you need to heal in order to receive the kind of relationship that you want. You need to be able to communicate clearly. You need to be able to regulate yourself internally in order to have that kind of relationship. So the universe is basically giving you a silver platter and saying, listen, girl,

this is what we got to heal. So I'm giving you the perfect opportunity. to heal it so we can bump up a notch and then you can attract somebody who is emotionally available consistent the right kind of person that you want to have. And this is the same thing that happens for when we want to be disciplined about something. We will feel that resistance. It's natural. It's normal. I recommend having a pathway for yourself, having a system in place. When I feel resistance, this is how I approach it. Last night, I was preparing for these podcast episodes that I'm going to be recording today. And usually I don't procrastinate. I don't do it the night before, but I've been extremely busy and so I did it last night. And I'm sitting there and I cannot think of anything to write.

And I realize it's because my focus is in the wrong place. I'm focusing on what's going to perform well, what's going to do well? That's not the right fuel source at all. So I took a break. I went on a walk. I shifted my perspective and I said, I asked myself a better question. I said, what is it that the ideal person that I work with, the type of woman that I know my work is meant for, what does she need to hear? And I kind of sat there and then it began to flow. I became very clear and that's where this episode came from. Right. And then even before coming in here to record this episode, I sat in silence to connect and say, thank you for giving me the words to share. So that's how I approach resistance, right? But what works for you? How can you approach resistance? Because it's going to

happen. It's not a sign that it's not meant for you. It's a sign that you're being shown where you need to expand in order to receive that next level. I love the story about Jamie Kern Lima. She's the founder of It Cosmetics, which was sold to L'Oreal for over a billion dollars. And when she started that business, she kept hitting no after no after no after no. But she had this pull of her soul. She had a deep lie. And she knew that this was meant to be successful. So she was able to overcome all of those nose. So when you're deeply connected to your why, your true soul calling of why you want to do something, the resistance is going to be a lot easier to overcome. But no, the resistance is natural. It doesn't mean it's not meant for you. The next thing I want to share is developing discipline.

I want to get more into like the tangibles, right? We've kind of talked about the mindset around it, but I want to get into more of the tangibles. And it's becoming the woman who keeps small, tiny promises to herself. And this is really how I want you to start. I'm going to give you a little 40-day challenge at the end of this to build your devotion, to build your discipline. But really part of it is in these micro moments. When I wake up in the morning, I love to not check my phone and I love to just have a conversation with God about where I'm at, what I'm feeling, say thank you, thank you for the day, thank you for everything, whatever that conversation ends up being. And I know if I don't do that, I don't feel as good the rest of the day. It really sets me off, right?

And so that's a tiny promise. It doesn't take me very long. It's a tiny promise that I keep to myself. When we keep these tiny promises, our subconscious mind is like, oh, okay, so she's someone that follows through. She's someone who keeps promises to herself. Then when you want to go after something bigger, starting a business, beginning to date and meet the love of your life and start a relationship that's going to require you to open up and be different than you've been in the past. Right. Anything that requires self-trust, which is everything in life, your mind will look to those tiny promises. So they're not tiny. So what I encourage you to do is pick one to start with.

if this is something that's really challenging for you, pick one. Very, very simple promise. And what you will notice is after a couple weeks of doing that, your self-concept, your self-belief is going to improve, then you can add another one. Research shows that every single action that you take is basically a vote for the kind of person that you want to be. Is why these tiny moments matter. Because these tiny moments stack up to becoming your entire life. Your relationship with somebody, when you're dating someone or married to someone, the relationship is not these grand gestures. It's all the tiny moments. Your relationship with yourself is all these tiny moments. So if you struggle with self-confidence, self-belief, look at the promises you're making and not keeping to yourself

because I guarantee there is a disconnect. There's a disconnect between the person you say you want to be and how you're actually showing up. Another tool that you can use to create more consistency, more follow through is to bring joy and excitement and to romanticize consistency, romanticize, and make things enjoyable for yourself. This podcast was something that I wanted to be consistent with. And before last year, I was decently consistent, but I sometimes wasn't. And it wasn't until I committed to myself. I started recording in a studio. I started investing in it that I never miss a day. I'm so consistent with it, right? I enjoy recording in the studio.

It makes it more fun for me. I like it. It makes it feel like a bigger deal to me. And as a result, I've gotten a way better result out of it. Right. So what can you do to kind of romanticize the things in your life that you want to be consistent with? Can you put on a really good playlist when you are budgeting?

That way you really enjoy it. Maybe pour yourself a little drink, right? Create an ambiance for yourself. We love going to nice restaurants because we love the ambience. the feeling created. So how can you create that feeling for yourself, especially on things that you struggle to be consistent with? Because we will do far more to move towards pleasure, and we will do a lot to avoid pain. So how can you make the things that you want to be consistent with pleasurable? Maybe you light a candle. Maybe you reward yourself afterward. Maybe going to the gym, you buy yourself

a few really, really cute workout sets that you're so excited to wear, that you feel really really good on. So I want to end this episode by giving you the 40-day devotion experiment. And it's very, very, very simple. And it's to help you become more devoted to yourself because devotion is an act of self-love. We begin to love ourselves more when we show up for ourselves and we show ourselves we love ourselves by showing up for ourselves. It kind of goes both ways. So I want you to first pick one habit, not 10 that you're committing to for 40 days. 40 is a very powerful number spiritually as well as in the research on habits. So we want to commit to that. We want to say, okay, for the next 40 days, figure out what that is from when you're listening to this. What's one habit that you're going to

commit to? It could be that you're going to write three sentences in your journal every night. And keep it small, keep it finite. I'm going to drink a glass of water every morning when I wake up. I'm going to move my body for 10 minutes every morning when I wake up. I'm going to sit in silence for five minutes every day at 2 p.m. Whatever it might be, right? Very simple habits. Start with something really simple. I encourage you to start with something you've been wanting to do. Pick that one habit. Identify why you actually want to do that. What is the bigger purpose behind that habit, right? The sole level reason you want to do that. It can be helpful to attach this habit to an existing. existing anchor. So this could be you stack it with another habit you already do. So maybe you have a

glass of water on your nightstand. That way you know every morning when you get up and you have, you're going to pick up your phone. You see that glass of water. So it's easy. It's stacked. Or maybe you do it right before you brush your teeth. That way it's stacked with something you already are consistent at doing. Use that existing consistency that you have to create more consistency. Track the outcome. So when we track things. It's actually very, it gives us a lot of dopamine. And so track that outcome, track that decision for yourself. And you can be a note on your phone, but you'll see that progress. And when you see, wow, I've already done this for 11 days, that's really cool. And if you mess it up, instead of being like, oh my gosh, I suck. I'm the worst person ever. Celebrate how consistent you

had been and say, that's awesome. I made it to 11 days. Let's make it to 40 days next time, right? celebrate rather than punish yourself. It's insanely more healthy. So that's the challenge I want to give to you. If you want help with these deeper concepts, right, around identity, around shifting your deeper beliefs about yourself that are the foundation of everything, you can send me the word podcast on Instagram and I will send you a five minute video about my program where I guide you through that process of really elevating your identity, helping you to manifest that next level of your life. So I hope you have absolutely loved this. Please, if you feel inspired, leave a review on the podcast, follow the podcast. It really helps me so I can make more content like this for you,

make longer episodes, make more episodes. I'd love to do all of that. So I hope you love this and I'll see you in the next episode. Bye.