All Fantasy Everything - 5 Things You Would Bring to a Desert Island (w/ David Gborie & Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: January 9, 2020

You ever wondered if the good vibes gang would survive on a desert island? Well you’re about to find out! Sit back and relax as Ian Karmel is joined by David Gborie and Sean Jordan as they drafts “5 Things You Would Bring To A Desert Island!” Support the show!Sponsors:hims: Get your first month free. Go to forhims.com/allfantasy.Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbag and movie watch-a-long episodes. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Decide the winner on the All Fantasy Everything Twitter poll @AllFantasyPodMerch!T-Shirts! Sweaters! Stickers! Mugs! Deck yourself out in some goods at www.teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverythingFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.MelShow Email: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. The podcast that is slamming doors all over the place. Everywhere. We're slamming doors, throwing tantrums, stomping upstairs. I am getting over a vicious head cold vicious head all right i'm feeling okay i'm feeling a little spacey yeah not kevin spacey though that's weird no i haven't been feeling spacey in a while jane spacey's cool land yeah yeah she lives in santa fe yeah man a lot of turquoise a lot of turquoise santa fe rules huh she wears those blankets that are also jackets i gotta get one of those i think i would be good at i think a whole southwest

aesthetic would work for for probably all three of us i want yeah i want to always look like sundown yeah yeah you guys you guys had drug rugs right back in the day i did have one i've never had one never did i know it's crazy smith and i went shopping so wilson's leather they used to sell these ponchos and we're just like oh my god wilson's leather wilson's leather that store is for divorced dads the words the words are on my tongue that my dad got me a notre dame leather jacket there he was divorced yeah he was divorced at the time that's who it's for dude wilson's leather in the hand and leather glove that's what yeah he was divorced at the time that's who it's for dude wilson's leather in the leather glove that's what yeah he got me that jacket and then he asked for it back that's right

pretty wild yeah i never wore it hey bud let me get that notre dame jacket back huh it was a little way too big for for you as well it was sick yeah i mean i was a sixth grader and he was you know six six 350 and it fit him he was a grown man it and he was, you know, six, six, three 50. And it fit him. He was a grown man. It fit him. So I'll tell you, go with your Boston Celtics NBA shorts. You've been wearing all these things for the last five days. I sure am. I gifted by the wonderful Nick Nampay.

I was just walking around with a glass Jamison the other day. And he's like, could you be more Irish? Also, there's like a Celtic braid in the oh yeah, in the lining. These are real. There's a level of Irish that I don't think I could appropriate. Like I don't think I could, I would feel good wearing those shorts.

I look like complete trash in these shorts. Thank you. I appreciate it. Word to the diptych store yesterday. I was bummed. I was visibly like, when we walked in, I was like, ah, damn it. I told you. I know. I just didn't.

I didn't think. I threw a coffee at a Bentley. Are you serious? Yeah. It was hilarious. What? So we were walking down Larchmont. Is this one of your road rage things?

No, we were on foot. Sidewalk rage. It was just rage. By the way, justice more than rage, I think. Yeah, yeah. So we're walking down the sidewalk and you know how you have the right of way when you're walking down the sidewalk.

I do know that. And this Bentley like is pulling out, stops, sees us, stops like where it's supposed to stop, sees us and then creeps forward like right into our path anyway. Like we were feet in front of us. I mean, if I would have been looking the other way, I'd have walked right into our path anyway like we were we were feet feet in front of us i mean if i would have been looking the other way i'd have walked right into her car that's how much

i thought she was going to stop because she looked at us was it pink it was gun metal grandma i thought you're asking if it was the color pink it was not well either way no but uh i just let my momentum carry me into the car, and I was holding the coffee in front of me. So I just sort of spilled it all over the top of their Bentley. Yeah, nice. What color was it? It was like a silver.

Yeah. They don't make that many colors. No, they don't. She got out and was angry. She was this older lady, and I was just like, yep. We kept walking. Go get it detailed or whatever you gotta do it was hilarious hose off your bentley you can leave your bentley behind and

chase me on foot i don't think so i don't think so what are you gonna do when you catch me yeah exactly what happens i'm wearing these shorts and she's wearing those shorts uh i was about to spend a lot of money on candles sure did did. We were both in weird places. I thought you were going to say candy, but I'm still in. Candies too, dude. Although we did get sandwiches from this. We did get some good sandwiches. Candles that smell like candies.

Candles. I don't think any of them do. Candles. Candles. I don't like this anymore. Candles. Obviously, it's Mianye. Pia Chimney's Mianye. Okay, Mikey.

Why did you say that? Obviously, it's Malkovich from Rounders. Oh. Pia Chimney's Mianye. No, I don't have it. I don't know. I don't get it. Pia Chimney's Mianye.

I don't remember Rounders, apparently. Pia Chimney's Mianye. What? From Rounders? I just like saying it. With John Turturro? Yeah. I'm going way over the top Which guy is this?

John Malkovich? Teddy KGB Pay that man his money That's what you're doing? I was kidding but that's me really doing it He beat me Pay that man his money That's pretty good

He's nailing it Malkovich really Went over the top on that one that's pretty good that's it he's nailing it yeah he Malkovich really went over the top on that one yeah he's me on it yeah

also I gotta tell you this while you weren't here I was telling so Laura's family we're supposed to read a book every year for the holidays oh yeah

I was trying to tell Ian like one book a year yeah and I still didn't get it done I was trying I was trying to tell Ian and Nick I read Entertainment Weekly I was trying to tell Ian like one book a year and I still didn't get it done I was trying to tell Ian I read Entertainment Weekly I was telling him which book I was like you know that movie We Bought a Zoo

and they're like yeah you know that movie We Bought a Zoo so they wanted us to read a book that is a movie so we could read the book and then watch the movie and I go do you know what that movie's about? We Bought a Zoo? And they go, yeah.

And I was like, it's a crazy Underground Railroad Holocaust survivor movie. And they're like, the Matt Damon? I was thinking about the zookeeper's wife. But he kept telling us, and Nick and I were both actually aware of We Bought a Zoo. We're like, uh-huh.

It's about the book is about the Holocaust? And then in the movie, they just left that out? It was wild. Those are different. It was one of the great Seanfusions. Oh, that's so good.

Yeah, I really blew it. You just at the dinner table like first of all i think we could all agree fuck hitler right yeah i don't know where they got the bad sean what did you think about it it took a lot of liberties with an atrocity never again i have to say never again based on a true story my foot you know this movie had nothing to do with the holocaust oh man it's that kind of podcast it's a it's a holocaust confusing podcast it is it is harsh to have to be like i didn't finish the book because i had a lot of time to finish the book you did you had nothing but time i had you gotta get yourself a kindle dude a lot of bed, you gotta get a Kindle in bed. I've been nailing it.

I'm reading in bed all the time now. Yeah, I feel so stupid saying it. I just hate reading. I can't read. I've been reading her nephew's books, and I am bad at reading out loud. I will tell you that. Children's books, even.

Well, that's the good thing about reading by yourself is you can read in loud. I got to read out loud all the time. You really hate reading? You have to be reading constantly. Everyone is always reading. I'm not thrilled about it. There's so many books here.

None of these pique your interest? I'm sure they do. Okay, here's my question. Nine inches. What what's your other question when you look over there uh-huh do you read all those titles or do you just look at the books i i mean if we're being honest i haven't really gone up and examined the situation okay see i know there's good books in there though some people don't like i'm like incessant. So like everything I look at, I have to read, but it's because I'm a psycho.

Yeah, I did too. If something crosses my eyes, that's words. If something has words, I have to, I've read that plaque so many times. I'll read a book. You read The Dirt.

You loved it. I loved it. I read The Dirt twice. There's other books like The Dirt. I know. There's The Dirt too, Back in the Mud. I could read the GNR book,

whatever that was. Yeah, you probably, a crazy Pink Floyd one. Yeah. I read, I Hope they serve beer in hell that tucker max book jesus god he's such what are you doing spread it out a little bit i think i got guy brandon's book in there which i should go read random's book it's amazing right i also just read pimp by iceberg slim i would maybe not one to start the new year with 2020 was fucked up and it was my own i did it to myself

weird headspace that book puts you in i haven't read a book in in like quite a few months i gotta get i gotta get back on the train you're busierier than I am. I'm very busy. That is another mitigating circumstance. Yeah, it's hard. You are not busy at all. I'm busy, but not too busy to read. Are you busy? You'd be surprised. You categorize yourself as busy?

I can read a book. I have time to read a book. No, no, no. We've moved on to a different issue. I won't say that I'm educated, but I can read a book. I haven't been that busy lately educated, but I can read a book. I haven't been. How many hours of your day in the last three months? What do you think the average, like how many hours of your day are spoken for?

I don't know. That's the dream dog. What are you mad at? Yeah. I mean that we're going to go down a whole nother road if we keep diving if we do that there's coreback mccartney hours of being depressed about how i'm not doing anything that kind of stuff oh that's not as fun as well let's get into it yeah let's let's yeah that's fair you let us know what it was and we'll pull out reading a book is something so it's

just like you could have been doing that you know i should i will i will if you imagine you're in the gym now yeah also you could get a puzzle it's gonna make you feel a lot stupider than you felt before you opened people around getting into puzzles everybody works into puzzles you got a puzzle yeah i just i thought i was doing it independently and then i put it on the gram you know flex one time from a hater of course and come to find out a lot of people yeah are into puzzles puzzle people I like a crossword puzzle I like a crossword

but I could never did you ever do it where you did them every day I could never beat like Thursday the most I've ever beat is like a Wednesday there was a period where me my buddy Graham and my buddy Dan would go get coffees and just knock out the crossword together. Yeah, man. I gotta get a crossword

book. I'm gonna get a crossword book. I'm trying to just fill my downtime with stuff that still occupies my mind. Keeps your brain going. Also, I switched from blunts to joints on the crib. Yeah. A lot clearer. Everything is. Blunts have tobacco in them?

No. The blunt wrap is made of tobacco, right? Yeah, but it's just full of. The spliff has tobacco. It's a lot more weed than the joints are. Is it? And I'm feeling, yeah. I got to smoke less weed.

I got to eat less weed. I got to just, yeah, I just got to put less of it in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been just. I just need less of it going in. Yeah's there's been a lot of it going i need to smoke more i've been saying that for years i would love that i've been i've been really thinking that you would it would really take the edge what's gonna happen i don't know soon you want to get you want to you want to read a book get all high man i haven't been drinking except for the last few days

uh but like in portland i haven't really been drinking too much. Exactly. The space is open for a new vice. I got rid of this one. Finally. Let's get the other one in there. Then you can get a drug rug. Yeah.

Sean S. Jordan in the Fortress of Solitude. Yes, sir. It's been a while. Yeah, been a minute. It's been a minute. Been a month almost. Sean is Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar Mel Jordan on Instagram.

Seeing a lot of those out there. More and more. Every day. How you guys spend his money? Piai. He's me on me. I don't. I don't.

Maybe I heard it. Piai. He's me on me. I. You know what I hear is Paul Rudd when he does the slapping that bag. Slapping that bag. It's not far. It's not far from it.

I will splash the pot in my fucking club. That one sounds more. Malkovich is all over the place. Yeah, that guy. Dude, he's nuts. And then he's in Billions just playing Teddy KGB again. He's a Roomba let loose in an accent room. You know what I mean?

He's going to be all over that motherfucker. He's bumping all your fine china. I feel like just in case people didn't quite hear you, he's a Roomba let loose in an accent room. One of the funnier things. And that's a lifestyle that we never knew. Oh my gosh, that's awesome. And that's just me on a Sunday morning after days of abusing

the street drug known as marijuana. Good job on you. That's awesome. More like cold than street drug known as marijuana. Yeah, I got a cold too. I didn't help it out in the last few days. I didn't help, but yeah, there's something in there. My voice got all jacked up.

It's probably because we were making out so hard. We were kissing pretty hard. It was dispassionate, but it was hard. It was. It was like a make out of boredom more than anything else. What are you doing? Let's mash our lips into each other.

Cabin boys. Poured water on each other and made out. Sean, you've got some stuff coming up. Snow Jam Comedy Festival. Yo! January 25th. Poured water on each other and made out. Sean, you've got some stuff coming up. Snow Jam Comedy Festival. January 25th. Jesus Christ. For my fucking sakes. At a brewery that I knew the name of until just now.

Is it called like Assault? It's like Revolt or something. That's always what they're called. Misdemeanor. Just Google Snow Jam Comedy Festival. I'm going to be at Battery. Minor in Possession Brewery. Gatling Gun.

I'd like a Gatling Gun IPA, please. Look up the... So if you're going to be in Snoo Falls, look up the Snow Jam. Yeah, January 25th. I want to say Revolt Brewing, but it's the headlining show. I think it's at 8 o'clock. My mom will be there. Ooh, yeah.

She will not have a halo on. I can't see your halo. I'm so excited. She gets it off in two days. The 7th, right? Yeah. Anyway, and then, yeah, I'll be in Madison with you over Valentine's Day. Fucking A.

We're going to be in I'll talk about it more. But yeah, we'll be at Comedy Out of State together. Yeah. Go to Snow Jam. Please. It'd be awesome if you did together. Yeah. Go to stay. What I got, go to snow jam. Uh, please. It'd be awesome if you did.

And, uh, yeah, he said, please, please. He did say, please.

I do have some new jokes. I don't yet, but I will get there. You're a freak. I'll get there. You'll fucking write them on the, I'm doing like a stream of consciousness thing in my act now. So,

you know, right. I do beat poetry, dude. Yeah, it's going Right. I do beat poetry, dude. Yeah. It's going to be, bring your fucking, bring an extra pair of socks. And it rains. Yep. Madison.

Mad. Son. Mad son. But where's the father? Why does he even bother to check in? Wisconsin. But when you sin, you can't win. Where are the badgers climbing Jacob's ladder?

Latter-day Saints, but you ain't gonna get to me. One of my skis, avoiding trees, feeling the breeze in between my knees. Jeez. Curds. Is spoken word just way slowed down? We got to get you a drum. Give me one. We're going to pause the podcast.

That's what I hear right now in my brain. This is the first thing I'm thinking. In this economy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got this kid a drum. He's off to the races. Got to give me a drum. God, that's awesome.

Some type of a koofy hat. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Is that like the circle that just goes straight up kind of yeah they have some yarmulkes that like are getting into koofy territory i like that i feel like i could wear one of those i like the murky right koofy yarmulke territory where's this guy that's where i want to live where is this guy his hair is really curly. It's curly. Where is he? What's this?

Man, I've shaved my face into a gut in like to one of those shitty goatees. You did not. How'd you like it? But like, it's so bad. I can't take any photos. No, I know. That's my bad. I showed up.

Oh, you asshole. He just punched the mirror. Oh my God. It's so bad. it makes everyone look like a huge asshole because like some dudes look cool with coatees my mustache doesn't go wide enough so like when the connection it goes like you know what i mean it slants out away from my mouth i know they go to the go to it is perilous that my gosh. Well, it's real bad. Yeah, I did the other day too, but I've taken numerous photos of mine. It just, I was.

Yeah, I've seen you in all hair. It's just so crazy how different. I don't look intimidating or mean or anything ever. And then you do that and you're just like, man, I look like. You got all Orange County choppers. Yeah, I seriously like you just look racist all of a sudden. You know, I really don't can't relate. Well, what you just look racist all of a sudden. You know. I really don't.

Can't relate. Well, what do you look like with a goatee? Racist. Racist as hell. No, I've never cut one, actually. That's insane. Because I don't connect. I just started connecting.

And I think it's because I've been using that Jamaican black castor oil. As you get older. It's crazy. It starts connecting. Yeah. So just look up Sephardic Yamaka. You see what I mean? That is a kufi.

Oh, it is. Wow. Yeah, I like that. That's where we're going to get you. Get a drum and a Sephardic Yamaka. Then we're off to the races. Yeah, good call. Off to the races. Oh call off to the races oh man a persistent cough

as though to insinuate we will die later on this podcast uh damon borey also in the crib today the genius island on twitter cool guy jokes 87 on instagram twerp twerp seen a couple of those see yeah i've seen I have seen a couple. Shout out. Cool guy jokes, 86. Yeah. There's somebody who's like cool guy poems, 84, whatever. Yeah.

There's a Christian guy who's cool guy psalms, 86. Cool guy psalms. England changed theirs to cool guy blokes, 1541. Yeah. I feel good about it. You know, the brand is strong yeah what do you got coming up oh man shit nothing really to be honest I got my fingers in other pies I'm doing stand up around LA Faded comes back January 10th on your mark asses every Friday we got a new venue West Hollywood we got the spot till midnight, so anything could happen.

You could get kissed in there. You could get kissed. You could get kissed right up in there. You could get slapped. You could get slapped for that kiss. Yep. You know, but we're going to be there. You could see a screening of the Aeronauts, the Amazon Prime original.

We're screening shit that's already out. That's what we're doing up there. We're screening basketball games without the written consent. We're screaming previous seasons of Hard Knocks. You want to see a bunch of episodes of Frasier out of sync?

Non-sequential Frasier episodes? Remember Becker? We got that. We got Becker. We got the blind guy from Becker. It's called the lounge on melrose 75 51 melrose ave and you know where it is if you can't find that it's above the von dutch store there you go oh i know exactly where that is exactly that's right by my work exactly oh so yeah uh faded's coming back other than that you know keep your eyes to the skies can i do a set on friday because i need to start practicing yeah come on i'll be there yeah it's gonna be good the new spots cool so yeah come out to that and then uh you know just

uh you know just know just know your man's out here active i can't always talk about it but i can walk about it you know what i mean we? We move how we move. Black ops. All right. African American ops. Afro American ops. Afro Cuban fun. Afro Cuban ops. So yeah,

you know, just, but I'm always working. Sephardic Yamaka ops. Sephardic Yamaka Ops. Sephardic Yamaka Ops. Kufi Ops. It's so interesting. It's even called a kippah is another word for a yarmulke, which feels like kippah could turn into kufi.

I feel like. After one long desert journey. I feel like those groups of people are a lot closer than anybody really wants to admit. Absolutely. A lot of love for basketball from both cultures. That's i'm saying that i've that's one thing that i've noticed uncut gems got there oh man how's everybody's holiday season by the way it was great yeah i saw cats so that kind of set me back but you know i'm still moving still sticking moving yeah uh i was amazing i saw cats I saw Cats, but I loved it.

I saw the best review for Cats. They said it's really horny, and I'm like, it looks horny. It is horny as hell. I think that sounds dope. It is horny as hell. My favorite was Corden's reaction to it, which was, I haven't seen it yet. I heard it's horrible. That is, that was so funny. I saw that because Marrow tweeted it and said, Hey, Corvito.

And I was like, yeah, you made it. If you got a Dominican dude calling you Corvito. You're fucking. Yeah. I Gordito. It's different.

Sean. These holidays were dope. And I realized, I don't know. I, my uncle passed. So it was tricky, but I've been focusing a whole bunch on what I love in life.

Uh, the two of you specifically and my relationship with my fiance. Now, when you say the two of you, are you talking about my top and bottom? No, I'm talking about Nelly's sweat and suit. You will not,

you will not break my seriousness, David. I will be serious. When you're talking about the two of us, are you talking about my left and right? Not, are you talking about Nelly, Kenneth noise,

water and James Westfallfall we uh when you say nelly and tim mcgrath yeah when you say the two of us are you talking about tiki and ronde barb yeah yeah yeah uh adam didn't have a halloween costume one time so i was like dude get like a blazer from goodwill and some sweat pants and you can be sweats you can be sweatsuit, dude. Nobody got. Obviously, nobody got. No, it's time to go down the middle. You can't do top and bottom. We're in a rush. Crazy.

We're in a rush. It was the first year I was in port. I don't even think I knew you yet. We went to a party with Lopez and Heather, and just, we were dorks. Are you Jesse Eisenberg from the social network? Really, from any Jesse Eisenberg vehicle? Are you just Jesse Eisenberg?

Oh, it's funny. How are you guys? It's good, man. Yeah. FaceTime family went and saw when it went to the movies, you know,

where I was laying low, man. Full Carmada up in Portland, Oregon. Yeah. I was with you a little bit the day before Christmas day after. Yeah. Yeah.

I had a lot of family time. Star Wars. That was fun. Yeah. Yeah. I had a lot of family time. Star Wars. That was fun. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You like Star Wars? You know, I didn't not. It was fine.

Yeah. I'm not a nerd enough to. I don't know why it was bad. I like loved Star Wars growing up. Loved it. Like read the books. All the extra shit. Had toys.

Way too late to have toys. Yeah. And I still like this one. I'm like, what am I? I feel broken. I'm like, what am I? I feel broken. I'm like, am I supposed to hate this? It's a fucking movie. At a movie theater, you get popcorn. I got a hot dog, a Coke,

popcorn. I'm like, in. I took a picture with a red stormtrooper. Show me new lightsabers. Nobody got. What was it? I took a picture with the red stormtrooper.trooper the best when you explain it again and i put it up on instagram and it was me and the stormtrooper and i was like they met on they met on tatooine two young padwans who grew to become spice runners i said belly three. Space belly. I loved it.

Thank you. Not a lot of response. Space belly. Because in all those hood movies, it's always like two street, like every 50 cent movie starts with him saying they met on the streets of Jamaica, Queens. Yeah. Two street kids who grew up to become kingpins or in jail by myself oh man but yeah i like i saw a lot of movies over

this hall yeah you've been watching i've been watching movies here yeah burn through the screeners saw bombshell oh that was bombshell it was pretty good it was this weird thing where you're like at the end of it you're like i don't like anybody i guess yeah yeah yeah but also yeah it was good i liked it i like you know i like movies in general yeah except for cats cats was bad horny horny though horny is horny yeah so like all the cats that weren't singing actively looked like they were in heat. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. That's exactly the feeling. Cause at first you're like, Oh, that's kind of tight. Some of these cats got cakes. But then by the end of the movie,

you're like, what? They're just all rubbing their lower back. They're just all so horny. Good. So like horny. It's like going to a middle school locker room. I don't know if that's

appropriate to say. I don't know. I don't know if that's Well, it depends on what age you're going into this middle school locker. Are you also in middle school?

I haven't been to a middle school locker since I was in middle school and everybody knows that. There you go. I'm 61 in the scenario. You're older than I am

now. Dude, we started a rumor that our gym teacher used to watch us undress what Sean that's a horrible thing to do I know that it was crazy I was just telling someone this and I was like

man that probably caused some serious problems dang I bet I bet it came up yeah somebody we ended up having to or somebody ended up having to like, say no, like, no, that was obviously, but yeah, that, can you imagine if you're a teacher and you're like, come on, you guys, there's no.

Oh, I totally think there's a lot of reasons teachers should hit kids. Oh yeah. You should have got socked, right? He should have given, you should have been like, okay. I didn't start. I was just, I'm just saying whoever started that, that teacher should have been able to be like, Hey man, me and you fair ones was just. I'm just saying whoever started that, that teacher should have been able to be like, hey man, me and you, fair ones.

We shoot the fair ones right now. Fucking Donovan Taylor's post there. I'll turn the camera around. I'm tall enough to reach it. Me and you. Let's get it popping. Yeah, it was rough. Man.

My name is Ian Carmel. I'm Ian Carmel on Twitter. I'm Ian Carmel on Instagram. I'm Ian Carmel on Twitter. Ian Carmel on Instagram. Ian Carmel on Jewish Fandango. Only get tickets to see Uncut Gems. We got your tickets. There you go. Come on in.

The ticket is $4. The popcorn is $194. It's a little light anti-Semitism to get us going on a Sunday. Our Sabbath was yesterday. We got a long road ahead of us. That's true. When is your New Year's? It moves around, but it's...

Or is it different? Rosh Hashanah, it's on the Jewish calendar, so it's around the autumn. Okay. Oh, so you got a while. We got a long time in the New Year. Okay. You guys are still in the thick of the old years. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Okay. And it's year 5000 something right now that sounds about right judging by my calculations like if i if my numbers are right yeah that's going off the stars right now yeah that's about what i got yeah and then i have an app on my phone that i use for it where's the sun at right now damn it i can't use that one yeah you can uh what do i got coming up? Listen to All Fantasy Everything. Watch the Late Late Show with James Corden.

Keep an eye out for Game On. Hopefully that'll be, we'll get more information soon. I will be with Sean Jordan at Comedy on State in Madison, Wisconsin on Valentine's Day weekend. Oh, shit.

Cop your tickets. Oh, shit. It's going to get real romantic. It's going to be fun. Unless I write a bunch of new jokes soon, some of my set is going to be me saying Volare to different couples as I walk around. You should definitely do that.

We're going to bring a kiss cam. Volare. We're going to have a kiss cam. Even if you do write new jokes, you should still do that, right? Yeah. Sometimes, listen, sometimes like last year when me and Zach Toscani were at Gold Bananas on Sunday, I just passed out a bottle of Cutty Sark to the crowd. They drank the whole thing. That's beautiful. Sometimes like last year when me and Zach Toscani were at Gold Bananas on Sunday. Yeah.

I just passed out a bottle of Cutty Sark to the crowd. They drank the whole thing. That's beautiful. That was on Valentine's Day? What? That was on Valentine's Day? No, it was just last year. Oh, I got you.

But sometimes it's just a party. Yeah. Your job is to entertain. Yeah. Sometimes we're just, like sometimes I got those hot jokes for that ass, hot giggles for that ass girl. Dude, the last time. Sometimes I'm just telling jokes or having a party.

Last time that I was in Madison with you, all these kids were walking around with golf clubs, and it was a whole thing. They're like, yeah, we go clubbing once a year or something. I'm like, so it's like a thing. They just give all these college kids golf clubs and encourage them to go to the bars. That seems like a terrible plan.

The worst idea. If I was 21 and everybody else had golf clubs and I had one too, I'd be like, well, I mean, yeah. There's not a safe car window around. I don't know what you're thinking. It's crazy. And people are going to fight. They just all have golf clubs. It's nuts to me. Absolutely nuts. So look for Sean and I to get kicked out of several college

bars, maybe some college parties before our shows. That's the craziest thing. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, daytime. It's 4 p.m. Daytime getting kicked out. Getting kicked out of H.R. Teddy Wedgers, Oh yeah, daytime. It's 4pm. Daytime getting kicked out. Getting kicked out of HR Teddy Wedgers, getting kicked out of Ian's Pizza. Is that what those places are called? There's a... HR Teddy Wedgers? There's a restaurant there called HR Teddy Wedgers.

Oh man. You can get cheese curds there, I think. You can get cheese curds everywhere. Ian's Pizza's real thing. Mac and cheese pizza. Look forward to me going back to that bar where the last time I was there they shattered my phone screen oh that's right that was in Wisconsin

fucking Nate Craig I hope you hear this Nate Craig that's a little bit on you like 2-3% 97% on me but 2% on you bro maybe one have that fucking rose bowl victory taste

or loss for you it was a loss man i didn't know there were so many wisconsin fans there were so many wisconsin fans also by the but i love nate craig obviously i'm joking oh yeah yeah i love wisconsin fans i love wisconsin i've never had a bad time other than this one i've had a good time that i'll tell you about off air okay okay i broke my foot there. Well, that's not what I'm talking about. Different time. It's a different kind of time. Dark Sean.

There was somebody, I'm getting really uppity lately. Getting. I'm getting even uppity. There you go. We were at the Rose Bowl. Nick and I were at the Rose Bowl. And like, so there was a metal detector line that was before even the ticket line. Which is already like chill out.

It was long, long, long. And Nick and I were in this line. And then this, you know how it's white girls in their 20s. And usually college students. Yeah. Where they'll like all hold each other's hands. And then all of a sudden 15 of them. You know what I mean?

Right in front of you. Pushing through a crowd. It happens at concerts a lot. It happened to me when we went to Palm Springs the other day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there's like 15 of them just holding each other's hands. They cut like that. They're like, our friend's up here. And then all of a sudden 15 people

are in front of you and you're like, well, fuck. I didn't say anything. I was just like, all right. Who cuts in a metal detector line? It's crazy. It's just also you can't cut with that many people. You certainly can't bring more people than you have holding the spot. You'll all just get past the line and then it's like cutting at the TSA.

Can you imagine like, oh, no, we're all together. That's what it's like. Yeah, it's for a security measure. And then so then another line opens up. And then like so Nick and I go get in that line, even though that's also super long. But we get into it. And then the same group of girls try to cut again.

They try to double back. They try to double back. And I just would not get out of their way. Good for you, man. They're just like, sorry, we're trying to get to our friends. I'm like, your friends will be up there. Yeah, they're fine. Like, your friends will still be up there.

They're going to be here for the whole Rose Bowl. They're going into the Rose Bowl. You got your phones on you? You yeah they're like your friends will still be up there they're gonna be here for the whole road they're going into the rose bowl you got your phones on you you'll probably see them together you'll be fine like they're like you're being really rude i'm like i'm not being rude i'm just not giving you what you want like you're being rude you're the one breaking the rules that's what i said to her i'm like this is like you know what i mean like we live in a society we live in a society i think i may have basically said that we start getting into it and i'm like you're you're fucking selfish like you can't stand the fact that like what you want is

not what's going to immediately happen and anyway they like ended up like pushing me out of the way anyway and like i'm not gonna push back a girl you know what i mean you can't fight them started yelling she took a picture of my face really and i couldn't believe i was like now you're on all the white girl blogs i'm on the white girl blog back on the white? And I couldn't believe, I was like. Now you're on all the white girl blogs. I'm on the white girl blog. I'm back on the white girl blog. I couldn't believe it was happening but I was in the right headspace where if I would have registered, I would have grabbed the phone and flung it.

Yeah, also what are you taking a picture of my face? So I can be on your premium Snapchat? This is the guy that cut, yeah, right fucking You cut me. That shit Yo, I'm glad you did it. You know me. that shit makes me living nobody says anything it's crazy that's social more a shit just like be a person like oh it it makes i'm getting mad just talking about it i know

anyway dude come see me at comedy other than her all the wisconsin fans were super rad she'll probably be there i love wisconsin people she might be there yeah i do love wisconsin she comes out i'll fucking beef with you in public again. And that's about it. That's it. As far as the calendar goes. Keep listening to AFV. I'm faded.

Get the buck stops here. Stay strong. Starts here. Starts here. Oh, man. I'm so bad. Stay strong, dude. Yeah, yeah.

Keep on trucking. Be cool. Start this new year the right way and be nice to each other and be fun. And I don't know. See, I'm the opposite. Violence. 2020. No, I'm just starting to fight with Wisconsin.

The violence. 2020. Yeah. We're gathering here today in the Fortress of Solid Dudes, not only to recount tales of social justice being upheld. That's what that was. You're basically a SJW. Yeah.

I'm a social justice warrior. Really? But also to draft, and this was selected by the AFE Patriot, Patronus. Patronus. Things that you would bring

with you on a desert island. If you knew you were going to go get stranded on a desert island, you would bring these five things. Yeah. Excellent.

Great opportunity to point out there's an amazing BBC program called Desert Island Discs. Also one called Blacked. Is there one? Oh. I should say

British Broadcasting Corporation. I should not clarify what I meant. It's been going since the 50s. It's where they have a guest come on and pick like eight songs they would bring with them to a desert island.

Oh, I like that. It's a fun idea. You should steal it for one. People steal from us all the time. People like stealing stuff. They like stealing ideas that you make your money off of. You really want to shoot, don't you? Fine.

Yeah, I want to shoot up. Fine. It's the new year. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! Fuck. Oh, David wins. Yes. I forgot to mention, the way to shoot up. Fine. It's the new year. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! Fuck. Oh, David wins. Yes. I forgot to mention,

the way we determine the order of the draft is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors. We threw on shoot, and I said it already. David, as the winner of rock, paper, scissors, it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft. Before you do that, though, I will remind you it's a serpentine draft.

And what is that? It's a great question. Well, let's say there's about 15 white girls from Wisconsin and there's two security lines that they kind of want to go through and they're kind of all holding hands like a snake. And then they go to the one and then

they see that the line might be a little shorter on the other one. So then they all just kind of slink over, I imagine, to the left and then there's they can't quite get by. So they're like, all right, we'll just kind of turn around and then slink back to the right, see if we can go cut in front of someone in that line. And I think they

just kind of go back and forth until they all suck to death. Is that too harsh, the suck part? No. No, I found it. So yeah, just like a serpentine. That was a pretty good one. I liked it. Basically what it means is if you pick third in the first round, you pick first in the second round.

There we go. Gotcha. So I'm going first. Yeah. Then Sean Jordan's going. Then Sean Jordan. Then Ian Carmel's going. We got ourselves a hot corner.

And I yell it louder. Hot! But I'm saving the yell for a second from now. That's fair. So we're going David, Sean, Ian? Yep. All right. Beautiful.

David, that means you have the first pick and the things to bring with you on a desert island afp draft we'll get to your pick before we do we'll take a short break this episode of all fantasy everything is brought to you by schedule 35 now microdosing is an absolute game changer i have never heard a bad word about it and like we said this episode of all Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35, our partner in getting things done. Imagine if you could. Let me just take you on a walk.

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i did when i woke up today i was like i can't remember what i said but i was just like hi I was wondering if it was going to work. Flu game. Did it hurt? It hurt. I did. When I woke up today, I was like, I can't remember what I said, but I was just like, hi, hi, hi. I'm Sean. Hi. Trying to get your voice. Seeing if it was working. In the right timbre.

Hello. Well, like if you're sick, there's time, like you'll wake up, especially if no one's around and you're like, I haven't actually spoken out loud. In days, yeah. Until like 6 p.m. or something. Oh yeah, that happens to me a lot. Until like somebody accidentally calls you. But yeah. So anyway anyway that was a pretty cool story right right then you gotta be like hello hi that did your parents ever like when you would wake them up mom specifically

have their like just woke up voice you know yeah i'm gonna sound it always has bothered me when people have a just woke up voice. Yeah. Because I kind of, I don't know what it is about it. You don't sound like talking on the phone to me. I love talking on the phone to you. Your voice is always the same. You're chill.

I just, when I wake up, you can talk. By that it means I usually sound drunk. I noticed that sometimes I'll see like a video of me talking. I'll be like, I sound wasted. I wasn't. Yeah. I wasn't even kind of drunk. I just like, when I get excited, it just kind of all melts together.

No, I like it. I just don't like the, especially on the phone. Like, yeah, what's up? Yeah. How can I help you? I think it also depends on what time you called them. Sure. If you wake up at like four in the morning and you're groggy or something,

but if it's like a normal time, just be like, hey, what's up? I just got up. You can do it. I can't imagine answering the phone at 4 a.m. I can't. Actually, I would, because that's when something's wrong.

Yeah, that's what I'm always doing. I know, but it wouldn't ever wake me up anymore. I don't keep my ringer on at night. That's the... Because you get like Postmates sends emails at like 12. Yeah, that's... Yeah, you had... It sends emails at like 12 yeah that's yeah you had yeah it's like fuck off why am i getting emails from postmates i might cancel it there's been probably there's a handful of times where it'll be you at like i'm pointing to david at like five

in the morning i'm like that's a pocket dial there's no way there's no way that's a real call you don't know oh yeah it probably is a a pocket, though. He just got taken, dude, by the Contras. He's like, let's make it out with hands. They're going to take you. I don't know why it sounds so much weirder with hands. I like that. Let's make out with hands. Babe, your hands rule.

David, so you have the first pick, and the things to bring to a Desert Island draft, you are down on the clock a piano what? oh my god yeah like a grand piano?

cause you're gonna learn and it's not gonna run out of batteries or some shit and I'll probably build a shelter for it and it's entertainment I'm gonna need to be stimulated are you gonna teach yourself how to play the piano or do you have any knowledge going in? no Sean I'm going to need to be stimulated. Are you going to teach yourself how to play the piano or do you have any knowledge going in?

No, Sean, I'm going to fucking bake a fucking cake with it. Hey, hey. Of course I'm going to teach myself how to play the piano. What else would I possibly be doing with a piano on a desert island? Ian, you want to talk to your boy for me, please? I feel like you guys got to hash this out. You think I'm going to break coconuts open with it?

What are you talking about? You might be able to. Are you going to keep it in the cave? Get your guy. Who is this guy? I'm not going to got to hash this out. You're going to break coconuts open with it? What are you talking about? You might be able to. Are you going to keep it in the cave? Get your guy. Who is this guy? I'm not going to jump in the other way. Go get your fucking guy. Don't bring me into this.

Go get your fucking guy. I'm not bringing your boys out here. You bring them over to me like this? Get your fucking guy. He's off the leash. That's true. This guy's... This is a brand new sweatsuit.

He's going to talk to me like this? That's true, actually. Oh, yeah. I guess I'm not wearing fucking shorts with four-leafed lovers on them. He's got four-leafed lover shorts. He's going to talk to me like this. That's true, actually. Oh, yeah. I guess I'm not wearing fucking shorts with four-leafed gloves on them. He's got four-leafed gloves on him. He stands up. I'm standing up in these goon shorts. For everybody listening, Nick Damp,

did we already say that? Yep. I'm still wearing them. I didn't take my pants off. Sean was given these shorts in exchange for never pronouncing Taekwondo correctly. Shout out, Isaac. What's up, Isaac? Taek never pronouncing Taekwondo correctly. Shout out Isaac. What's up, Isaac? Taekwondo.

Taekwondo. Taekwondo. Taekwondo. Yeah, but a piano. A piano. Are you going to keep it in a cave? Because I feel like the elements would be cruel. Yeah, we'll figure it out.

To a piano. So like a grand piano. I have a lot of time to figure out where to put it. That's true. But also you're lugging a piano around. Solo dolo. What else am I doing? It's heavy.

Yeah, it is. I think the piano stays. That's kind of like your bass. Yeah, I'll probably put it in a cave. It'll probably be where I sleep. Yeah. Build some shelter for it. Is this a grand, like a piano?

You swinging for the fences? Yeah. Is it propped up, one of those, so you need a lot of room for it? No, no, no. Okay. I mean, a grand piano's got the, but you're going to lid down. Lid down, lid down. Are you going to have color-coded keys so you know what to do?

No, I'm going to learn how to play it as is. Okay. Are you going to get a piano bench? Is that separate or is that implied? No, no, no. Are you sitting on a tortoise? No, you're going to be standing up. It's like having a standing desk. Okay, yeah. Like Billy Joel when he was on fire, you know? No, no, no. Are you sitting on a tortoise? No, you're going to be standing up. It's like having a standing desk.

Okay, yeah. Like Billy Joel when he was on fire. Grand piano. That's a great pick. Yeah. I've thought about getting a piano for here because just when you're sitting around stoned. Well, you can play the piano a little bit, right?

A little bit. I know just enough. Like I can make you a breakfast. You know what I mean? Like I know enough about cooking to make breakfast, but not enough to make you a breakfast that you know what I mean like I know enough about cooking to make breakfast but not enough to not enough to make you a good breakfast I would love to know how to play the piano it would be a nice

I remember when I was learning as a kid my older brother Bear was like dude stick with it because when you're like 18 and you know how to kill on piano you're going to be so glad and I didn't stick with it and then when I was 18 I was like fuck he was right he was so right so when did you like did you take lessons and things how old were you single digits i don't

know like okay eight nine ten eleven somewhere in there what's tricky because then when football starts it's hard to be like no i want to play the piano also plus i had to learn hebrew like like it was more when hebrew lessons started than football yeah that's like that takes like a lot of time a lot of time. A lot of time. Yeah. You're, why'd you learn Hebrew? Are you Jewish?

100% permits, but everything, what a waste of time, by the way, that was ultimately, I mean like, Whoa, he said it.

It's fun being bar mitzvah. It's fun going through that, like process and everything. Yeah. It's a party, but to learn how to read Hebrew, spend that much time. I don't know how much time it took. It a whole new language so it was like so there's

no common it was like two years of like that is a lot you have to learn how to read it and then you have to learn what some of it means i never learned what all of it meant and then um but it's also how you guys have survived all this time it is. Wasting time. Because there's also a song. It's just now occurring to me what a waste of time a bar mitzvah is. I'm glad I did it still. The party again was so fun. Would you bar or bat mitzvah your children? Don't know. I might have to find like a very

progressive place that doesn't care. But what if they're in LA? Their friends are doing it. True. But you have to learn like it's like a there's like a a rhythm to the piece so it's like yeah no it's like when i was a kid learning all those mystical verses yeah but at least the mystical onesrew but it has this like specific cadence that people have been doing forever and it means nothing to you you know and there's no logic to it yeah so your brain can't be like okay here's the pattern you can't like you can't like expand on it it's like learning a yeah it's crazy

yeah no that's wild so much time grand piano sawed off shotgun hand on the pump Sean what's the time for your first pick I'm getting a dirt bike damn good ass pick

what happens when you run out of gas well are you bringing a piano bench? Damn it, I don't know. Can I have gas with it? No, you can't have gas with it. Fuck you. We're on a fucking desert island. You can't have endless gas?

That's not part of a... It's great. That doesn't even make any sense. Got four more picks then. You know, like endless gas. All right. I'm not going to be like... In my mind, I was just like, I'll have a way to get around my island. Okay.

And it's going to be a dirt bike. All right. And it can also be entertaining. I can build myself some, you know, ramps out of dunes and things. Who knows? Maybe there's crude oil that you can learn to refine. True. I don't know how gas is made.

I'll have a long time to figure it out. I know about how milk milk lemonade around the corner. Poo is made. Fudge, bro. Fudge. Damn it. Come on, man. You really sucked the wind out of my sails with the gas thing.

Didn't even cross my mind. It didn't cross your mind. Is there an electric dirt bike? I suppose I'll need an outlet. You still have to plug that in. I sure would. Yeah. No, it didn't cross.

I was like dirt bike. I don't think there are any solar powered dirt bikes. Not yet. NASA. If. bikes. Not yet. NASA. If. Damn. All right. Can I have a jet?

Aren't there solar powered generator? I suppose I got to pick a solar powered generator. Well, I might do that. All right. Anyway. Anyway. A dirt bike. I don't think there are solar powered generator.

I think so. I'm trying to keep it under wraps. There has to be. No, they run on gas. Dude, straight up. None of them are generators. Have you ever seen a generator? I don't think there are any. There has to be. No, they run on gas, dude. Straight up. None of them are solar generators. Have you ever seen a generator? I don't think there are any.

I could be wrong. If they are, I don't think they're very efficient. Also, it's... Well, then fine. I just got a dirt bike sitting there to look at because dirt bikes are dope.

Something to work on. You can eat dinner on it. Yeah, you can sit on it. I can tweak some gears. Yeah. With my Allen wrench that I carved out of a coconut. What do you picture

when you picture this island, by the way? I'm picturing Castaway. And I'm just a way to get around an island. I think it'd be really hard to ride a dirt bike on a beach. Roll down hills, maybe. You'd have to push it up the hills. A dirt bike on the beach. There's a beach around the whole thing.

What size are we talking about? Like a 250? Like Eddie Furlong in Terminator 2. What size are we talking about? I don't know you know you know the dirt bike and terminator 2 that's what i'm thinking of what's that like a 125 i can't think i don't know i don't know the conversion of my head i couldn't tell you so dirt bike what's dirt bike you thought it was dope you hated it immediately i didn't hate it

i didn't think about the gas oh no i didn't think about it and then I thought about the gas. I can't go back, but that is, you know, I did not think about that. You could also, listen, a dirt bike is made out of a ton of parts that could be used for all kinds of Those wheels, you know, those big rubber wheels, float on those. That gear, you could

sharpen it and turn it into throwing stars. Yeah, you could make weapons out of most of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That fox racing thing could become your new god. Yeah. You could nail it to a tree. Fox! I'm sorry!

Oh, fox! When I pick a tattoo artist later, I can point that out to him and be like, that, tattoo that on my back. That's right, on my face, yeah. So you took a dirt bike, time for my first pick i'm gonna take a machete yeah it's yeah it's like it's one of the most useful sharp solid machete you can do anything with it you're gonna need yeah you can like defend yourself with it you can cut through the underbrush yeah you can clear you can clear trails you could use it to build you know uh you can clear trails. You can use it to build, you know. Sharpen it probably on rocks that are around there.

Yeah, lash palm fronds together. Make some type of a catamaran. Start building a crude shelter. Yeah, using it. David threw me with that fucking piano. I was going to be a little more realistic, but then I just, damn it. That piano is realistic. I know.

I'm just bummed. It's okay. Listen, this is just, we do this to be friends. No, I'm serious. I want... We're all going to a desert island. Don't come asking to borrow my machete, by the way. Yeah, man, and you cannot play by piano. I'll just be leaning on my dirt bike. What's up, bros? Plus, it'd be really fun to walk around with a machete.

You know what I mean? The South Dakota kids have machete tournaments every 4th of July where they build an obstacle course at the skate park. And then the winner gets a machete wrapped in barbed wire. That's pretty cool. I have never won. So sorry for like pick taking to like a boring pick.

No, I mean, I've heard a bunch of boring picks too. Realistic, yeah. I mean, that's how it's gotta happen. My second pick is gonna be a a big-ass blue tarp. Really? Like a big, extremely sturdy, that's the kind you put down under a tent where you'd hang over a picnic table.

You could do so many. So you're going to need it for a number of reasons, right? You need to lay it down right when you get there, and that can be a rudimentary shelter. Right. If you're having trouble finding fresh water, you can make a rain catch out of it. Like funnel it kind of.

So you hang it like kind of a hammock and you catch fresh water in it. Yeah. Because that can be tricky on a desert island. Yeah. You can use it as a sail if push comes to shove. Damn, yeah. You know?

You can use it to like, you put it in a low tide or during high tide you put it in low water fish will get caught in it and then the tide goes back out all of a sudden you got some fish caught in it you really could do anything there's a lot of stuff you can do with a tarp it's sturdy too it's so good but also you know

you could use it to cover your dirt bike with it right yeah yeah yeah true that's very true it doesn't end it's very true you could use it as a door to a rudimentary cave shelter or you could use it to cover your yeah yeah or something to put your grand piano on. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, what a bummer. Sean, time for your second pick.

All right. I'm sorry. I'm scared. A TV. It's not like that's not on the grander list. A crossbow. Hell yeah. Okay. So there's no, I was thinking about about this a lot so you can reuse all the arrows so i don't need like a box of bullets or anything i think the term is bolts

uh and it just something for hunting it seems like it'd be a good thing yeah you're gonna have to kill some meat plus it'd be fun to have just to mess around with a crossbow you'd get so good yeah i think i would how are you gonna are you going to make new bolts for it? Well, I think you can just, you know, it takes, I'll take what it comes with, but you can keep, you can reuse them, you can go get them out of the animal, or I'm hoping I'm not going to lose these, but. But if they hit, they

can break, I'm just letting you know. But you can fashion it. I mean, you know. He made a knife out of his dirt bike. That's true. Damn, a dirt bike and a crossbow. I had a whole thing in my mind. You're just trying to get all the

eighth grade pussy. This isn't shaping up to be my best draft, but that dude who grades him is really going to have fun with it. Oh, yeah. You got to F from. But sometimes the way he grades him, he'll to have fun with it. Oh yeah. Oh, you got to F from, but sometimes the way he grades them, he'll be like, I've never heard of that movie D minus.

And it's like, that's not my fault. That's not on me. Yeah. Mel Kiper jr. Watch true romance. Yeah. AFE Mel Kiper.

Culture ever heard of it or whatever. Also, thanks for listening, man. Yeah, man. We really appreciate it. Cool.

You do a dirt bike and a cross. You'll have to learn how to fashion crossbow bolts. Yeah. I'll say, yeah, I for listening, man. Yeah, man. We really appreciate it. It's cool what you do. A dirt bike and a crossbow. You'll have to learn how to fashion crossbow bolts. That's all I'll say. Yeah, I think that's manageable. He's got time. He does have time. That's the one thing. I might not have gas, but I got time.

You do have time. Are you going to keep it with you all the time, or do you hide it? I probably am. it's going on my back somehow crossbowman yeah yeah i'll have it a lot like most of the time that's pretty cool leaning on my dirt bike you know my dirt bike looking cool smoking sins just saying what's up to no one. What's up? Anyone out there? You see this? Huh? I got some Malibu rum. What do you think?

Some coconut Malibu. Some birthday cake. Bacardi. Stop saying other picks. Yeah. Come on, man. All I was going to do. My next birthday.

All right. Fucking crossbow. David, time for your second and third picks i think that this would last me a long time yeah i want to take an industrial so like the giant one yeah an industrial size spool of hundred pound test oh that, like wire? Fishing line? Fishing line. Oh, sure. Yeah. Sure, sure. You could use that. It just, so many things. So many things. It would come in handy. Lash, for shelter. You know, I, yeah, just all kinds of shit.

Fishing? Fishing. It'd be good for fishing. I'd have to make my own hooks, but that'd be all right. You could do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Probably. I have a lot of time.

I wonder what you would make hooks out of. Probably that piano wire after you stopped. Yeah, after I gave up on playing the piano. You just eliminate the bottom. I could also use the keys for shit. You could. You eliminate the bottom five keys, and you're like, sorry, I just won't play these.

Yeah, I just won't. Yeah. Those are to the cost. I need this to make a fucking fishing line. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I are just, those are to the cost. I need this to make a fucking fishing line. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh,

yeah, I guess you could use it on shelter. If you ever needed to give yourself stitches. Yeah. That's what it was. The first thing I was thinking, if I'm trying to fashion like a raft or something to leave, like it could just like,

there's just a lot of ways you could use it. I don't think it goes bad. Really? No, no. An industrial size pool i could really like that structure just just like on my building structure alone i could just like wrap the shit out of it with the tests you're you you can fish too right oh yeah yeah i mean on in

the world i don't know about on the desert island but i like in real life catch you catch some smallies catch some biggies I caught a fish you know what I'm talking about caught a fish in Michigan this summer see a fish again a fish again dude

you know what I'm saying you know what I'm saying I'm saying you throw a tire in there spring thaw comes around you know where that tire's at bang bagging big mouths

all day dog do I have a permit fuck you I'm from this country from here that's my fish I'm from this country. From here. That's my fish. Fucking from here, dog. So yeah, an industrial, man, these are all boring.

The rest of my picks are boring. Look, man, you got a piano out there. Yeah, that's true. My next pick, a Leatherman. Oh. You can do anything. Yeah. It's like, because obviously power tools aren't going to be, we're not going to, you can do anything. Yeah. It's like,

it's like, it's like, cause obviously power tools aren't going to be, we're not going to be able to do that. No, but you can kind of get it all done with a leather. With a leather. It's all there. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's all. Yeah. That's all you need. Bunch of different knives. Yeah.

Can opener. Can opener. Fucking nail clippers. Tweezers. Tweezers. Sawblade. Like kind of all. There's a toothpick files in a Leatherman. Yeah. There's like a metal toothpick. fucking nail clippers, tweezers, saw blade. There's a toothpick. There's like metal toothpick.

Pliers, fist pack for when I'm punching Jaguars. There's all kinds of shit. I heard what you said about my fucking piano. You punch out a Jaguar. I heard what you said. You think the fucking toucans don't talk, dog? That's all they do. I heard what you said. You think the fucking toucans don't talk, dog? That's all they do.

That's all they do. They're nobody's friend. Don't trust anything that can fly and still lives here. Oh, boy. Yeah, man. A Leatherman.

A hundred pound test in a Leatherman. I think those two things could go along. I'm assuming there's lots of wood on the island. We're going off like it's the one from Castaway. Yeah, I think that's fair. I think there's just a lot of wood on these islands.

When I touch down there is. Got my dirt bike over here. You ever sat on a dirt bike and not had a boner? Come on, what are you doing? No, actually. I've never not had a boner come on what are you doing no actually i've never not had a boner 2020 it's cumbersome but you know damn they got some gnarly i haven't checked in on leatherman's in a while let me see i haven't i haven't i haven't i have not either oh yeah come on that thing yeah fucking, I get home with that thing. That looks like the Game of Thrones chair. Yeah, man, exactly.

Those things are buck. So yeah, a Leatherman. Wow. Yeah. You lost me for the rest of the podcast. Now I'm just Leatherman shopping. No, no, I understand. Dude, just look at this thing.

Forrest Camo? I mean, you don't want it, Forrest Camo, because you'll lose it, but like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're naming Leathermans after my kids? No. Forrest Camo Jordan? I thought lose it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're naming Leathermans after my kids? No. Forrest Camo Jordan? I thought your kid was named Urban Camo.

Snow Camo, Fire Camo, Party Camo. Oh, they're twins. Oh, that's right. That's right. That's right. Yeah, we had Octuplets in there. All camos. Yeah, Fire Camo.

Leatherman. Sean, time for your third pick. Solar-powered flashlight. Okay. That's a good one. They're real, right? Yeah. Okay. I'm nervous. You have a phone. Yeah, but I don't like to... I try to stay as engaged as I can.

They also have crankable flashlights. Yeah, you gotta crank them. Really? Yeah. Would that be a better... No, I gotta stay with solar powered. I'm the same, but like the crankable ones i don't think ever have that good of a torch i don't know about the solar powered ones though i imagine it's pretty good just something for light at night you know just that i can have you don't you don't think

that you would learn how to make fire yeah but i'd you know a little easier if you just have a flashlight you can turn on you know and like the fire you don't i don't want to bring it around so what does your dirt bike not have like a headlamp on it or what like that run out of battery my crossbows all my my arrows all got little lights on them but that's my flashlight just fucking shooting arrows through the island yeah uh yeah i just uh solar powered flashlight solar powered flashlight I think what we're learning is none of us are as good at this as we thought.

I'm doing all right. Ian's doing great, by the way. I'm all right. I thought a 100 pound test was a lot better than it was. I'm alive so far. I'm not. I had a party for a couple days

and then I died. Ripping right out of the dirt bike. I got in a dirt bike accident while I was crossbow hunting. Broke your collarbone your first day. That is a total dirt bike. I got in a dirt bike accident while I was crossbow hunting. Broke your collarbone your first day. That is a total dirt bike accident.

What happened with your dirt bike while I broke my collarbone? I tried to tail whip on my dirt bike and I broke my collarbone. I feel like when you buy a dirt bike,

they just whack your collarbone with a tack hammer and be like, all right. Get used to it. With one of those mag lights? It's going to be broken a lot. Solar powered flashlight. Solar powered flashlight. is that what you use when you go

camping or do you use like a normal flashlight lanterns uh i just kind of use whatever anybody who's prepared to camp brings yeah i i'm not a good camper i'm ready to do some fucking camping by the way i enjoy camping though yeah i'm gonna do some glamping oh glamping yeah absolutely okay cool cool yeah i'm with we should go to big bear or something i'm ready to though? I'm going to do some glamping. Oh, glamping. Yeah, absolutely. Okay, cool, cool. We should go to Big Bear or something. I'm ready to glamp. I'm ready to like... I don't know. I'd put up a tent. Yeah, yeah. I went camping this summer and it was great, but I didn't bring an air mat.

I brought like a yoga mat to sleep on and a sleeping bag. I did not... I was not thrilled about that. I only got two nights sleeping in a tent after that. I'm like this. Yeah, I'm with that. The second night I didn't sleep at all because I went camping with a ton of party animals. First night was fine. I was right there with them.

But the second night I'm like, you know, I don't can't. I don't got that in me tonight. And they all did. So I just laid there up to like four in the morning and it rained. It was frustrating. It's rough waking up to rain when you're camping yeah you're cold yeah that's why i'm saying we get cabins yeah we still go out for that yeah that's true you know what i mean i'm still down to get in the nature i'm down to

fish my you know big black nuts off let's look that up not your big black nuts cabin stuff do you have an earthquake kit at all? No. No. No, I don't. Do you? By earthquake kit, you mean a bag with some cocaine in a gun. 100%.

That I keep next to the door. Yes, I have an earthquake kit. I got a go bag. Earthquake kit. I'm ready for anything. I think a go bag says more things that i'm planning on i'm just a bag with some cocaine and a gun you can anything you need after that you can get with the cocaine or the gun i can i can barter my way to what i need with those two i can get past the burning sands you drop me anywhere honestly

drop me anywhere 50 to 1500s give me a bag of cocaine and some gun i'll figure it out earthquake or none yeah with my uh third pick you can bag of cocaine no uh i don't think that'll be any help on it i think you would be i'm gonna get a i just want to be stressed a shatteratterproof mirror. Oh, for fire? Well, that's part of it, but for fire, for signaling planes if they fly by. Oh, good call. Fire, too. You can use to reflect light.

Also, just to remind myself what I look like. Yeah, you don't want to lose your humanity. You might go crazy. That's a very good point. It'd be just nice to have. Also, I'm a bit of a narcissist, so check yourself out every now and then. You want to see if the curls pop. It is a good point just to look at your face and be like, okay,

you're not spinning off the fucking planet. Here is your face. Here you are. Also, how long can my beard get before I'm throwing out like crazy island guy vibes? Like... Feel the rhythm! Some people say I don't have comedy.

Is it past four inches can I get to four and still like can I maintain my dignity yep I think you could grow a big bush I could grow a crazy beard

I have a picture of it yeah yeah I did a deep dive on your Instagram the other day it's not like I missed my friends or whatever yeah yeah

and I saw a picture of you with a huge beard it goes off it goes off to the side it's like it just looks like you can just grab it. Yeah, you better not. Because then you can't come to my butcher shop anymore. You better not.

I said you better not. You better not. No. Fucking better not. Don't. No. Indestructible hand mirror. Yeah, you can try to use it to light a fire. Damn it. But yeah, I'm mostly using it to signal planes if you have to uh-huh to remind myself what i look like uh to do cocaine off of you know what i mean for god's sake you're

gonna need that then with my next pick i'm going to get the uh swedish fire steel army fire starter oh is that the one with the the skinny thing in the flint yeah and you scrape it and you scrape those things work so good damn also i knew that shit off the top of the dome yeah you did you did bro i'm out here i was just gonna say that's another name for one of my kids army fire starter yeah those things and they last are you gonna get because some of them are double-sided so they have one side that's the spark thing and one side that's the magnesium flakes. This one gives you 12,000 strikes in the field. Yeah, that's pretty good.

Yeah. You know what I think you've got to do, too, with something like that? You've got to have a fire that you just keep going. Maintain. Oh, yeah, absolutely. So it's like, because 12,000 strikes over time. That goes by faster than you think.

But like, yeah, if you have a fire that you kind of just keep, keep sort of smoldering. If you have a steady that you kind of just keep, keep sort of. How about a steady fire going? Maybe a couple of them. How is that? So you would want like a fire going pretty much all the time? Oh, yeah.

I think it's probably. Well, I don't know what we're dealing with with predators or other people on this island. But yeah, there's predators

on the island. Predator. I mean, if there's. But also, then they're probably afraid of fire, right? Predator wasn't afraid of fire I don't think predator's not there

you're just making a scenario that you can outrun somebody with your dirt bike I can't predator ain't catching me and I respect that you can't get far on that dirt bike that fire start is a good call dude let me see it I had a few of those as a kid not a pyro

just a kid who liked to learn stuff oh yeah that kind of looks scary too I used to have a few of those as a kid. Not a pyro, just a kid who liked to learn stuff. Oh, yeah. That kind of looks scary, too. Perfect. That's fun. I'll get some fires going for me. I might get one of those just anyways.

Just to have, right? It wouldn't be a bad idea. And that way I can also see like... Put it next to that cocaine in that gun. That's right. The big three. When the cops come, what cocaine? Run DMC. Three different fire starters right there.

And this way I can also sort of see myself in that dramatic fire light now. Because I've got a mirror. Yeah, now you've got the mirror. And you've got, yeah. I've got different looks. Yeah, because then, yeah. You're going to need to. You're going to need to.

On a motherfucker? You're going to need fire, man. You're just going to need it. So the Swedish Firesteel Army Firestarter. That's a good call. Damn it. Sean, time for your fourth pick. I'm out here thinking.

I was thinking I could do the sticks thing. God, it's going to be so hard. I wouldn't even know how to, earnestly, I wouldn't know how to do that, really. That would be so tough to be like, You got to get the wood, and then you got to get a skinny stick, and then you got to put kindling in there.

You rub it. You don't twist it. You'd rub it back and forth. Yeah. Either way, we got a lot of time. I think I did it once. I think we had to do it for a class, but I can't remember. I think I had to do it for a class, but I can't remember.

I think I had to do it in Cub Scouts. Adam would know better, but some class we took, or I did it in Cub Scouts. Or I'm lying and I've never done it, but it feels like I've done it. That's where I'm at, too. I think I've done it once. That's why I was so confident in this that I didn't pick a fucking fire starter. God damn, you got a fucking piano though. Good call, David. I'll just peel out on the dirt bike and start a couple fires.

God damn it. My fourth pick, I'm going to pick a hatchet because I don't have anything sharp yet. Oh, a hatchet. Just something that would maybe be useful somehow on my shitty fucking island that I'm going to be dying on. Just a hatchet to build just something sharp. I could chop things on. Just a hatchet to build something sharp.

I could chop things down. I could use it to shave bark. Make little wires. I'm just thinking of Castaway this whole time. Yeah. Hatchet. Probably the most practical thing on there. I think that's very smart. Just a good old fashioned, you know, chop up all the meat that I get with my crossbow.

I'm not mad at you. It's a great pick. Talking. Good. I'm not mad at you. It's a great pick. Talking all fast. I'm getting nervous over here. Yeah, don't sweat. My voice is cracking. I'm in a different room now. I took the shorts off.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sean brought the mic outside. He is outdoors right now in Glendale. He's still standing in the middle of Verdugo. Yeah, hatchet. Hatchet. What color? I don't, red.

There you go. Yeah. Yeah, just a little red hatchet. Psychopathic records. Oh, that's really why, isn't it? Yeah. I did just start following ICP the other day. You do sound like a juggalo.

What, do you got a dirt bike? And a crossbow and a hatchet? Oh, my God. You sound like juggalo renegade, dude. Don't pick face paint, David. me a favor no i gotta save it for you of course oh my god armed only with a dirt bike a crossbow and a hatchet yeah it's rough it's gonna be a real rough recap for me all their psycho tendencies Sir Psycho Tendencies. Tendencies. Spelled all weird.

Oh, man. I spelled twisted the right way. I didn't want it to look bad on my birth certificate. No, it's just twisted. If you think about it, that's really the most twisted way to spell twisted. I'm out here just having it as a name. No gimmicks. Okay, so what did you pick?

A hatchet. A hatchet. Hell yeah. All right, a hatchet's a good pick. That's the best pick I got. You can huck it, too?. No gimmicks. Okay, so what'd you pick? A hatchet. Hell yeah. Alright, a hatchet's a good pick. That's the best pick I got. You can huck it too? Yeah, I can. You start a little axe throwing bar? You know, on the island with the monkeys? A dirt bar can't go on the wall or the ceiling of the bar. It'll be one of those shitty bars

that just has motorcycles hanging from the ceiling. What is that? Doesn't Kelly's do that? How did we get there? Is there wreckage from like a plane crash? I don't know if we can count on wreckage. What did they have in? I think maybe this is the wreckage.

Okay, this is what we got. Castaway, it was like a plane and then all these FedEx packages came in and he got some ice skates and shit. Yeah, which would oh god that'd be so helpful i got a machete that's basically an ice skate david time for your fourth and final picks uh fourth pick dirt bike's gone

i'm assuming i would dig a hole to keep this in uh a hundred pounds of marijuana i don't know i don't have a storage system yet you can keep it in your piano yeah oh yeah that's a good oh my god, 100 pounds of marijuana. Because you could, conceivably, if it had seeds, start growing some marijuana. I was thinking with 100 pounds, there would be enough seeds for me to try out a few crops. It's trial and error. It would only last you two weeks. Yeah.

By then, it's probably sprouting. How long is the crop? three months is a yield it would be great it's like the second i'd start enjoying it too much i'd stop like trying to survive i just just start just smoke just get baked and lay out i just like find enough food everyone go get enough yams that like i think i'd use it for like my reward though you know what i mean yeah like oh we killed a rabbit today let's let's blaze it up yeah i'd use it for like my reward though you know what i mean yeah like oh we killed a rabbit today let's let's blaze it up yeah let's fuck it's like at the sunset like i'd choose to be here you know i don't know i don't care but i think i'd choose it two to three

out of every week daily two to three days out every week yeah i think i just wake up and be like fuck it i'm just gonna get it who's gonna say anything yeah exactly well you really been smoking a lot of weed yeah you're just looking in the mirror yeah i have yes i have yeah shut up owl sure have you in now i wish i didn't bring them here and then my last one is going to be a four-point shovel what's a four-point shovel not like a spade it's got like the or the two oh okay you know what i mean because here's what i'm thinking i'm on some swiss family robinson shit yeah and i'm gonna need to have like gradients you know what i mean like i'm gonna need to dig like there's gonna be like a french drain coming out of my hut

stuff like that what's a french drain it's like two inches every every foot it drops or some shit like that yeah and it's like it's easier to do that kind of thing with a with a with a with not a spade shovel and it's just like yeah i i think digging in is my best bet yeah i just i'm just gonna need it you try to get as comfy as possible yeah man if i let's say. Let's say I slaughter a hog. Let's say I kill a hog. You know what I'm doing? Is that what you call beating off when you're on the island? That's what I call it when I'm in my room.

Slaughter the hogs. I'm going to go slaughter the hogs. I'll be right back. Holy shit, that's gross. Wait, hold on. Can we talk about us at barbecue the other day? Sean couldn't chill out. We were at barbecue.

Yeah. On the menu. See, look, you can't handle it. I can't remember what it was, but I know. On the menu, it was just like, it said something like, we smoked the whole hog over 100% hardwood. And he just couldn't. He still wasn't.

He just couldn't stop. David goes, this is dangerously close to the erection specialist situation. It was exactly the erection specialist situation. I know you think something is funny because you say, I'm sorry before you say it. You'll be like, Ian, I'm sorry.

Did you know that this whole hog was 100% smoked on hardwood? Hardwood, bro. That's when Sean thinks something's funny. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Did you? I'm sorry. I don't know if you guys read about this or not.

They smoked a whole hog on some hardwood. But yeah, a shovel. I think it would be really useful. Absolutely. Yeah. I think so for sure. Because I just think i see myself digging a lot and have you ever tried to dig without a shovel it's terrible it's the worst fucking

thing you can do it sucks so bad to dig without a shovel and i don't think that i could make a good shovel it'd be hard to do it'd be hard to do i'm hoping i can get there with my machete yeah you can do anything with it But yeah Or like a dirt bike The dirt bike can be fashioned Here's the thing at the end of the day The dirt bike can be fashioned into all these tools

I think it could be fashioned into quite a few things Yeah Oh thank you And you would have that gas So if you did want to bust down the motor Because I'm assuming you have a full tank of gas. Yeah. Having that gas could be helpful.

You know what I mean? I mean, that's going to burn up when I ride the dirt bike around for sure. Okay. That's okay. Burn down your rudimentary shelter. All right, Sean,

time for your final pick. Yeah. Just like a giant net, just a giant net to fish with. It seems like I should have something, a reasonable way to catch some food. seems like i should have something a reasonable way to catch good idea some food yeah uh can't really do too much else with it but i'm gonna need it'll catch a bunch of fish clean the you know clean the shit out like i won't i won't get

a bunch of other stuff so i've been nervous this whole draft ever since i picked dirt bike i know this isn't my best but no i don't it's very fun. I'm sure a bunch of survivalists are going to be like, you guys are fucking ding-dongs. I hope somebody comes at me with a solar-powered dirt bike. I hope someone tweets that at me or something. I'm going to Google it right now.

Somebody probably did it, right? I don't know. I was just looking. I just in my mind, I was like, oh, great. It'll be awesome to be able to get around, you know? Like, explore the whole island. They have electric ones you can buy from JCPenney for some reason.

What kind of person would buy a dirt bike at Penny's? The U.S. military stealth hybrid dirt bike. DIY e-bike with solar booster. So, no. No, I don't think so. So short answers. Yeah, fishing net. A fishing net and a hatchet are the two things

I think I'll just be using probably. Great. And the rest is for you to have a really fun week. Crossbow would be fun. The crossbow is always going to be fun. Yeah, that'll be a good time. I don't think you should feel bad about the be fun yeah i don't think you should feel bad about the crossbow i don't think you should feel bad about anything i mean it's very low

stakes to feel bad about this stuff yeah no no it's just as long as everybody had a good chuckle when they were listening then there's the i had a good chance the point as long as you guys slaughtered a few hogs oh that's gross sounding yeah that's the worst way to say it. Holy buckets. I'm going to bring a, for my final pick, a first responder vehicle kit. Ah, damn. Just like a heavy duty first aid kit. Yep.

Kind of thing that's got like. That's very smart. It's got kind of what you need for everything. How big are they? Is it like a duffel bag? It's like a small duffel bag. Yeah. But it's packed to the gills.

It's got, you know what I mean? It's got everything. Me and Sean don't have anything. Peroxide. Yeah. I don't plan on getting hurt when I'm dirt biking around with a crossbow. With no clothes on.

Holding a hatchet in my teeth with a solar powered flashlight that doesn't work that well. It's got all that stuff. It's even got like some painkill. Like, you know what I mean? Like minor painkiller and stuff like that. That's perfect. It's got all that stuff. It's even got like some painkill like you know what I mean? Like minor painkiller and stuff like that. That's perfect. Yeah. So like splints if I

have to do that. Cold pack if I have to do that. Stuff for burns. Yeah. Where would you keep it? In a tree? I'd probably keep it in a tree. Yeah. Depending on how I'd have to clock these monkeys on this island. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'd have to see if these parrots were.

Yeah. I don't trust the birds. No, not at all. No, God, no. You seen what crows are doing lately? Talking,

right? Smart man. Don't they talk to each other? Yeah. They, we went and watched a falcon wrangle a bunch of crows in downtown Portland. I didn't, I guess it's like a big deal.

There's all the crows like we'll fly across the river and nest and just kind of mess up downtown. But there's thousands of them in Portland. Have you ever noticed that? Yeah. They're everywhere. Hell of crows. It's fucking crazy. Anyway.

I love crows, though. They're called Puerto Ricans. There's definitely not thousands of them in Portland. But there's enough. You know what I'm talking about? No. White city. Somebody just accidentally came in the house.

Yeah, so a first responder first aid kit. Yeah, that's a great pick. Yeah. So that wraps it up. What we would bring to a desert island. Sure does. Sure does. We all have kind of different tactics.

David, you went first. You took a grand piano. I came out hot. And then a gigantic spool of a hundred pound test fishing line. And then a Leatherman. And then a hundred pounds of marijuana. And then a four point shovel. That's just what I want in the crib anyways.

That's like, yeah, you can achieve that. Yeah, business as usual. Yeah, I dropped it at Bachelor Pet. You went second. You took a dirt bike, a crossbow, a solar power flashlight, a hatchet, and then a big net. Hell yeah. You could use the big net. You could put it over your sleeping quarters.

So, like, mosquitoes, if there's any on the island. Yeah, like a big malaria net you know yeah uh i went last and i took a machete uh heavy duty tarp a shatterproof hand mirror a swedish fire steel rb fire starter kit and then a first responder first aid kit so i guess i'm going to be safe but i'll be bored no you'll be fine we're all going to be very hungry. Yeah. Probably great at the piano. Great at the piano. Starving. Hungry as fuck. I'm going to burn down the whole island. You're just going to go start 12,000 fires on the first day. Then I'll find the food,

whatever's cooked. Whatever doesn't survive the burning. I'll just go stand in the ocean while it happens. And then you have all that charcoal for later when you want to cook it up. Cook it up again. All these dead deer. Asphyxiated parrots and whatnot. Just like a village of locals.

Yeah. Oh, shit. Oh, no. This was Victoria, B.C. I burnt down a bunch of Canadians. The road was so close. Those were cars I was hearing. You're just on Miel's hometown.

Bainbridge. What island is she from? Is she from Winby? No, it's Orcas, right? Orcas Island. But I thought it was the Orcas Islands. Oh, I didn't know. Vashon Island?

Easter Island? Friday Harbor? She's definitely from Easter Islands. Oh, I didn't know. Vashon Island? Easter Island? Friday Harbor? She's definitely from Easter Island. Friday? I don't know. Isn't Friday Harbor one? Maybe. We could just ask her.

She could be from Hawaii. Brada, which is a- Brada! We left, I mean, literally everything on Earth on the board, apparently. One thing I had to stop myself from taking was another person. I was going to, because I wanted a person. And then I was like, you're crazy. You're such an asshole. You could do that.

You could just take Bear Grylls. Another, oh, that would have been hilarious bringing Bear Grylls. Yeah, I didn't even have specifics. I was just like another person.

I just, it would be nice to have someone else there. I thought about bringing like the entire Encyclopedia Britannica. Sure. So you'd have something to read.

I thought about bringing a water pump. Oh yeah, yeah. Like a water purifier. One of those, there's a straw here in this pump oh yeah yeah like a water purifier one of those there's a straw here in this house that's like a water purifier straw really yeah okay it's pretty sick where is it i know where it is it's where it needs to be all right i know where it is

so that it's in that Balvenie Scotch bottle. Which I actually do drink with a straw. You call it strotch. Sorry. Storch?

Scotch Storch. Scotch Storch. What happened to Scotch Storch? He got really into cocaine. We can watch a YouTube about it. He's probably just got his legs crossed with his feet up. Is he back? Yeah.

He's going to produce Too Thick. Scott Storch? Yeah. Take that, Isaac. And another one. And another one. Anyway, that's us on a desert island. Yeah.

Tell us your picks. Because we're running out of words. Please do. Because we're woefully underprepared I thought I was going to kill it too I was I really I heard the way you said dirt bike what were the picks going to be before you detoured off the dirt bike

machete was definitely going to be one hammock was going to be one but then that was like that's just chilling I wasn't going to get a lot of use out of it I can use a net for a hammock so that's kind of where the net came in and then I honestly at dirt bike I was like cool just chilling. I wasn't going to get a lot of use out of it. I can use a net for a hammock. So that's kind of where the net came in. And then I honestly, I dirt bike. I was like, cool, I'll get around. This will be a great thing to

have on this island. Didn't even think about the gas. Not one bit. Crossbow or bow and arrow was right up there with the original because I wouldn't need bullets. I could just get the, what are they called again? Bolts. Bolts. I could just get the bolts back. Didn't think about them breaking. Didn't think about fashioning new ones. That's where I need the hatchets.

So I got some stuff. I'd be dead on an island. No, we, it just depends on how much food we can have. Yeah. Literally all you need is the food. Everything else is just creature.

Yeah. I mean, I honestly, I thought of it like, right. Yeah. We don't, I don't know.

It got approved. I'm like, cool. Dirt bike was the first thing popped in my head and I was like, I'm going to kill it. But to be fair, that's pretty much every draft. Yeah. As soon as it comes down. Words that make you

sound smart? Dirt bike. All right. I'm sorry. I just laughed so hard I farted. I'm sorry. I don't think it's going to smell. I just wanted to let you know. Dirt bike. Well, we want to hear yours. us up at all fantasy pod on twitter

all fantasy podcast at gmail.com uh shout out to super producer marissa shout out to everyone holding us down on the patreon we love you we're about to record some more stuff for you right now shout out to everyone on the afv subreddit super shout out to everyone just in general the vet likes i don't know we just love all you and all the little like somebody started an afe instagram that's cool people fucking rock on twitter yeah shout out to people fucking it's just lacking you right now shout out to the people fucking while they're listening to this i'm talking to you guys that happened once didn't someone say they did multiple people have told us that. That's wild. That is wild. So, you know, finish.

Get there. Get it all out. You got to be to work. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel. Shout out to Haji Beats. Shout out to Rashid.

Shout out to Rashid Wallace. Shout out to those trees right there. Shout out to that tree we're about to open. It's a fragile tree it's a fragile Rasheed lay tree lay and uh I mean for God's sake more important than all of that tune in again next week

for another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything Shackle-ackity! that was a hate gun podcast