All Fantasy Everything - A Dead Musicians Happy Hour (w/ Adam Cayton-Holland)
Episode Date: April 4, 2024Today, we answer the age-old question: What dead musicians would you want to drink with?Episode Guest:Adam Cayton-Holland (X @caytonholland, IG @caytonholland)Support the show!Join the A...ll Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel (X @IanKarmel, IG @IanKarmel)Sean Jordan (X @SeanSJordan, IG @SeancougarmelonJordan)David Gborie (IG @Coolguyjokes87)Isaac K. Lee (X @IsaacKLee, IG @IsaacKLee)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
 Transcript
 Discussion  (0)
    
                                         This is a HeadGum Podcast. Dead Musician Happy Hour. Each of our contestants will be drafting five dead musicians who they'd like to get tanked with.
                                         
                                         Our guest today is stand-up comedian and author Adam Caton Holland.
                                         
                                         I'm your host, Ian.
                                         
                                         Not yet! Not yet!
                                         
                                         Nope. Sorry.
                                         
                                         Not yet!
                                         
                                         God damn it!
                                         
                                         I'm your host, Ian Carmel.
                                         
    
                                         With me, as always, are my friends and comedians,
                                         
                                         Sean Jordan and David Borey. Let's get into it.
                                         
                                         Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything,
                                         
                                         the podcast where Adam Caden Holland doesn't know when to fucking talk.
                                         
                                         I'm not going to say anything for the rest of the pod, dudes.
                                         
                                         You better not, dude.
                                         
                                         That's all right, man. You're all right. I'm going to bring in a second microphone for me, though.
                                         
                                         What's happening?
                                         
    
                                         Visual joke. I'm holding two microphones.
                                         
                                         Why do you have another mic on? You and Dana use separate mics? Yeah, though. What's happening? Visual joke. I'm holding two microphones. Why do you have another mic on?
                                         
                                         You and Dana use separate mics?
                                         
                                         Yeah, man. She doesn't want your stinking
                                         
                                         breath all over her mic. I get it.
                                         
                                         I got a lot of microphones.
                                         
                                         How come the other one's uncircumcised?
                                         
                                         I was going to say,
                                         
    
                                         one of them's got a big bush.
                                         
                                         All I need is one mic.
                                         
                                         Oh, yeah, dude. I can make this podcast
                                         
                                         look like a press conference. You have four?
                                         
                                         Yeah, and there's another.
                                         
                                         And so
                                         
                                         in this next game, do you think
                                         
                                         that maybe passing the ball a few times would help?
                                         
    
                                         Sean, now you grab something.
                                         
                                         That wasn't right.
                                         
                                         That wasn't an escalation at all.
                                         
                                         David grabbed a big water bottle
                                         
                                         and then you grabbed some cords, man?
                                         
                                         Come on, dude.
                                         
                                         Look at Laura's weird mouth.
                                         
                                         Stop doing that.
                                         
    
                                         I'm sorry, Adam.
                                         
                                         Guys, I'm going to go.
                                         
                                         Shut the intro and this energy is off.
                                         
                                         No, this is definitely not on you.
                                         
                                         You guys want to see my butthole?
                                         
                                         Should we do that?
                                         
                                         Is that an escalation?
                                         
                                         Let's see it.
                                         
    
                                         That's an escalation, right?
                                         
                                         And then Isaac, we'll see if Isaac can fit it seamlessly into the podcast or fit the
                                         
                                         podcast seamlessly into your butthole.
                                         
                                         Tastefully, I doubt it.
                                         
                                         I doubt it.
                                         
                                         Have you ever seen your own butthole?
                                         
                                         No, I don't think so.
                                         
                                         Once.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, I don't like it.
                                         
                                         Wow.
                                         
                                         Did you take a picture?
                                         
                                         Did you do the mirror thing?
                                         
                                         I looked at it in the mirror yeah
                                         
                                         why?
                                         
                                         because it's there man
                                         
                                         Mount Everest rules
                                         
    
                                         what about you Adam you ever seen your asshole?
                                         
                                         of course I've seen my asshole
                                         
                                         well now I gotta see it
                                         
                                         David have you ever seen yours?
                                         
                                         yeah that's why I brought it up
                                         
                                         you've never looked at your own
                                         
                                         how am I the weird one now? I had read a sex book where women were supposed to look at your own? How did this make me? How am I the weird one now?
                                         
                                         I had read a sex book where women were supposed to look at their own vaginas.
                                         
    
                                         And you're an ally.
                                         
                                         I've seen my dick.
                                         
                                         I know every move over there.
                                         
                                         Get away from that guy.
                                         
                                         It's harder to see it than you think.
                                         
                                         God, I would imagine,
                                         
                                         because it's down...
                                         
                                         Yeah, tell us where the asshole is, Sean.
                                         
    
                                         A mere inch from the vagina.
                                         
                                         I don't think he even knows. He hasn't seen this.
                                         
                                         I don't think he even knows. What if you got a low
                                         
                                         asshole? Oh, no.
                                         
                                         Or what if you got a high asshole? That's an Irish
                                         
                                         trait, actually.
                                         
                                         It's basically across from your belly button.
                                         
                                         They're on a straight line there.
                                         
    
                                         Your body is a fine,
                                         
                                         high asshole.
                                         
                                         They're connected via a tube.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         If you push deep enough
                                         
                                         into the asshole,
                                         
                                         it comes out the belly button.
                                         
                                         A lot of people don't know that.
                                         
    
                                         And vice versa.
                                         
                                         That's how you can feed
                                         
                                         twins in the womb.
                                         
                                         That's the only way
                                         
                                         twins can exist.
                                         
                                         With the one umbilical cord
                                         
                                         from the belly button to the asshole
                                         
                                         of the other one.
                                         
    
                                         That's just science, guys.
                                         
                                         I think the medical term is
                                         
                                         from the rooter to the tooter.
                                         
                                         That's right.
                                         
                                         We had a barbecue place in Portland back in the day
                                         
                                         whose motto was from the rooter to the tooter.
                                         
                                         It's because they use every part of the pig, right?
                                         
                                         Every part of the pig.
                                         
    
                                         And then they ended up in some kind of like a Jewish lightning conspiracy there.
                                         
                                         Go on.
                                         
                                         You wear a Jewish lightning?
                                         
                                         Don't make me guess what that is.
                                         
                                         Is that a racehorse from the 40s?
                                         
                                         David, why don't the two of you take turns guessing what Jewish lightning is?
                                         
                                         And Adam and I will tell you how close you get.
                                         
                                         Was that the scene they cut out of Greece?
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, that's right.
                                         
                                         I think it was one of the original Joe
                                         
                                         DiMaggio Yankees.
                                         
                                         Yeah, it was Yogi Berra, Joe DiMaggio,
                                         
                                         and Irving
                                         
                                         Jewish Lightning Cohen.
                                         
                                         The first analytics man of baseball.
                                         
                                         It's an
                                         
    
                                         old anti-Semitic nickname for insurance fraud.
                                         
                                         Jewish lightning?
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         It's pretty funny.
                                         
                                         What is it?
                                         
                                         Is it pretending like you got hit by lightning?
                                         
                                         You set the on fire to get your insurance.
                                         
                                         It's the old Jewish lightning.
                                         
    
                                         Like a match.
                                         
                                         You guys started that, huh?
                                         
                                         Well, you know, maybe.
                                         
                                         I don't know.
                                         
                                         I want everybody listening to know I don't know.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         I thought it was the Italians.
                                         
                                         I'm going to tune it so that sounded more accusatory
                                         
    
                                         from David.
                                         
                                         You guys started that, huh?
                                         
                                         Isaac ain't here, brother.
                                         
                                         Okay?
                                         
                                         No, he'll hear this, though.
                                         
                                         I'm behind the wheel.
                                         
                                         If I decide to send it to him, I'm behind the wheel.
                                         
                                         I might just edit this myself, Isaac.
                                         
    
                                         Wow, we're in the jungle right now.
                                         
                                         We all know that's a terrible idea.
                                         
                                         Jewish Lightning is also the name of the tattoo I have across the small of my back.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Pretty cool.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Weird font choice, but pretty cool.
                                         
                                         Well, I saw it when I was looking at my asshole.
                                         
    
                                         It's like Harry Potter.
                                         
                                         I didn't get it.
                                         
                                         It just naturally occurred there.
                                         
                                         The chosen one.
                                         
                                         Trait, but the chosen one.
                                         
                                         Hell yeah, dude.
                                         
                                         Isaac is in Bolivia right now, right?
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
    
                                         He had to go to Bolivia to take his dog to the doctor.
                                         
                                         Dog to the vet at 11.
                                         
                                         It is currently 1215
                                         
                                         he took his dog
                                         
                                         to the doctor not the vet
                                         
                                         oh he took his dog to the doctor
                                         
                                         no that'd be crazy
                                         
                                         you're silly dude
                                         
    
                                         can you do that if you have enough money
                                         
                                         like I know you're
                                         
                                         I realize
                                         
                                         you're an ENT but I'm very rich if you got enough money this dog has an ENT, but I'm very rich.
                                         
                                         If you got enough money, then...
                                         
                                         This dog has an E and an N and a T, so get in there.
                                         
                                         You've done those Christmas
                                         
                                         parties where they throw the bag at you, so you can do
                                         
    
                                         a lot with enough money.
                                         
                                         You know those holiday parties
                                         
                                         or those corpets you don't want to do?
                                         
                                         Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                         No, the only holiday...
                                         
                                         I used to do a strip club for a few years, but that
                                         
                                         I wanted. I wanted in. Yeah. Deal, yeah. If the money's ready, you can do anything. I used to do a strip club for a few years, but I wanted in.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
    
                                         Deal me in.
                                         
                                         Yeah, it was a good party.
                                         
                                         I was with an unnamed famous the other day, and they were just texting their doctor random
                                         
                                         questions.
                                         
                                         They got it like that.
                                         
                                         Like, if you don't use it, you lose it and stuff like that?
                                         
                                         Where they're like, oh, hey, how many of these allergy pills should I take?
                                         
                                         Over the counter, texting their doctor,
                                         
    
                                         getting an answer.
                                         
                                         It takes me...
                                         
                                         What time of day?
                                         
                                         Three?
                                         
                                         Three?
                                         
                                         You know,
                                         
                                         so daytime,
                                         
                                         but like...
                                         
    
                                         Still fucked up.
                                         
                                         That's called concierge.
                                         
                                         That's like concierge service.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         And if you get to be
                                         
                                         an old Jew man
                                         
                                         like you and I will,
                                         
                                         Ian,
                                         
    
                                         you'll get there.
                                         
                                         My dad's got the same relationship.
                                         
                                         Hey, don't sell us short.
                                         
                                         I would love that. I would love... First of all, I would love to have the. My dad's got the same relationship. I would love that.
                                         
                                         First of all, I would love to have the concierge
                                         
                                         relationship. Second of all, I would love for you guys to become
                                         
                                         old Jewish men.
                                         
                                         I could see that. Yeah, David, if you get
                                         
    
                                         there as well, you'll be able to text your doctor.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I like that.
                                         
                                         Because I'd be so pissed if my doctor
                                         
                                         was texting
                                         
                                         in an appointment if I saw him texting
                                         
                                         somebody else.
                                         
                                         That would be... I didn't think they'd saw him texting somebody else that would be yeah
                                         
                                         i didn't think they'd text oh i'd be fucking livid it's like i remember years ago this we
                                         
    
                                         i had the same manager as somebody and they were texting her at like midnight and i was like what
                                         
                                         the fuck you guys talk outside of the prescribed hours. And then I fired her pretty soon after. Yeah.
                                         
                                         Cause she wasn't texting you.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Fuck you.
                                         
                                         Yeah, man.
                                         
                                         It'd be a tough,
                                         
                                         it'd be a tough,
                                         
    
                                         I don't know.
                                         
                                         I get so nervous all the time.
                                         
                                         I'd be asking him too many questions.
                                         
                                         I feel like if you can text your doctor,
                                         
                                         they,
                                         
                                         you don't just text them random stuff,
                                         
                                         but I suppose pain pills over the counter.
                                         
                                         That's random.
                                         
    
                                         Allergy.
                                         
                                         Or like headache,
                                         
                                         allergy pills.
                                         
                                         That is random.
                                         
                                         Cause they tell you right there. Famous merit this oh yeah okay yeah yeah yeah yeah they definitely were and i think money was no object but it's just an interesting thing that
                                         
                                         you can have it takes me it's like getting to fucking mount doom scheduling a doctor's appointment
                                         
                                         yeah i guess if my doctor was like it's's Selma Hayek, she wants to know
                                         
                                         how many claritins to take. Right, exactly.
                                         
    
                                         I'd be like, oh, okay, okay, okay.
                                         
                                         No, fuck me. I'll put my socks back on.
                                         
                                         This is important. Yeah.
                                         
                                         That's who it was, right? It was Selma Hayek?
                                         
                                         Did she look at normal? It was Selma Hayek.
                                         
                                         Okay. It was indeed Selma Hayek.
                                         
                                         What were you and Selma doing? I always wanted to know, like,
                                         
                                         did she have, like, a normal email or, like, a...
                                         
    
                                         What if it's just selmahayek at gmail.com?
                                         
                                         It probably is.
                                         
                                         Or it's probably selmahayek at
                                         
                                         aol.com.
                                         
                                         She's rocking Yahoo.
                                         
                                         Yeah, she's a Yahoo gal.
                                         
                                         Up to a certain point, though, I think that is.
                                         
                                         Or like until Gmail got big or whatever.
                                         
    
                                         Right? Wouldn't people just do that?
                                         
                                         Like hit Johnny Depp at Gmail and it would just
                                         
                                         go to Johnny Depp?
                                         
                                         I've seen it before with somebody where
                                         
                                         it was like that's your email is just your name
                                         
                                         it like where it was
                                         
                                         you didn't think it was going to be that
                                         
                                         surprising level I'm talking about
                                         
    
                                         I'm talking about obviously Penelope
                                         
                                         Cruz Penelope Cruz
                                         
                                         you know when you type in something in a Gmail
                                         
                                         now and like suddenly it'll
                                         
                                         recognize it as real I don't like that you know what I mean in something in a Gmail now and suddenly it'll recognize it as real?
                                         
                                         I don't like that.
                                         
                                         You know what I mean?
                                         
                                         This is in fact a valid thing.
                                         
    
                                         And it'll give you the little bubble,
                                         
                                         even if they're not in your contacts,
                                         
                                         it'll be like an orange bubble with a J.
                                         
                                         And you're like, that's Jimmy Johnson's email.
                                         
                                         So some creep could just be doing this with every celeb
                                         
                                         and be like, Eureka, it's the one,
                                         
                                         and just fire off emails.
                                         
                                         Because I'm not hard to find.
                                         
    
                                         I have a weird last name and only so many interests.
                                         
                                         It's a combination of two or three things you're going to get there.
                                         
                                         I'm the same way, dude.
                                         
                                         There's like three things I like in my last name specific.
                                         
                                         You're dead on, dude.
                                         
                                         I would try.
                                         
                                         I would try.
                                         
                                         Birder, Birder, Kate and Holland.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, I knew you would.
                                         
                                         But I mean, your email is not like your phone number.
                                         
                                         It's right on the, it's right on your website, right?
                                         
                                         Mine is, it's just right on the website.
                                         
                                         If you want to get a hold of me.
                                         
                                         Damn.
                                         
                                         It's like that.
                                         
                                         I'd rather no one ever got a hold of me to be completely honest.
                                         
    
                                         My email address is david.boria.gmail.com.
                                         
                                         I had my contact me to my agent.
                                         
                                         And then I was like, you know what?
                                         
                                         My agent sucks.
                                         
                                         And so I just put my email and I've gotten so much work since I did that.
                                         
                                         That they did not.
                                         
                                         That they didn't want to get in for me.
                                         
                                         They just weren't opening those emails.
                                         
    
                                         I guess not.
                                         
                                         And then you don't have to pay them though.
                                         
                                         Right.
                                         
                                         So it's just like, cool.
                                         
                                         I'll take these ones.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         You just write old ACH old bird nerd
                                         
                                         for 2069
                                         
    
                                         yahoo.com
                                         
                                         that was actually my second guess
                                         
                                         Sean Jordan
                                         
                                         187.com Sean.Jordan
                                         
                                         187 at gmail
                                         
                                         there it is gmail.com feel free
                                         
                                         Sean Cougar Melon Jordan
                                         
                                         on Instagram
                                         
    
                                         I gotta
                                         
                                         okay so yeah I'm doing
                                         
                                         great man nothing coming up except the
                                         
                                         tour that we're going to talk about in a minute
                                         
                                         but I gotta tell you this so I'm at Madison
                                         
                                         shout out to everyone that came out of Comedy on State
                                         
                                         shout out to Courtney for the tour of the zoo
                                         
                                         Ian and David she wants you to go on it in May
                                         
    
                                         so you have to do it more importantly
                                         
                                         Courtney we're in pending hangovers Courtney Cordova I was in until Sean so you have to do it. Courtney, we're in. Pending. Hangovers.
                                         
                                         Courtney Cordova.
                                         
                                         I was in until Sean said I had to do it.
                                         
                                         Now I want to move on.
                                         
                                         Dude, I pet a rhino.
                                         
                                         I don't have to do shit.
                                         
                                         A 4,000-pound rhinoceros.
                                         
    
                                         You think we haven't pet rhinos before?
                                         
                                         Yeah, where do you think I've been?
                                         
                                         You're about Republicans in name only, right?
                                         
                                         That's right.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Yeah, Mitt Romney?
                                         
                                         What I got to get to.
                                         
                                         Heavy petting.
                                         
    
                                         What I got to get to, and this struck me as so fun. Yeah, Mitt Romney? What I got to get to. Heavy padding. What I got to get to, and this struck me as so fun.
                                         
                                         Yeah, Mitt Romney jerked off Ian.
                                         
                                         Yeah, he jerked me off.
                                         
                                         I didn't know that.
                                         
                                         Charles Thurman tried, but the ages didn't line up before he died.
                                         
                                         No, I tried to get in there.
                                         
                                         I couldn't get a boner.
                                         
                                         I tried.
                                         
    
                                         He was up for it, too.
                                         
                                         Surprisingly, he could.
                                         
                                         Mitt Romney.
                                         
                                         I big spoon McConnell.
                                         
                                         Mitch McConnell and I used to come out from the back, hold him for a while.
                                         
                                         He's so soft.
                                         
                                         Oh, I bet it's really soft and cold.
                                         
                                         I bet it's soft and then the skeleton is so at present.
                                         
    
                                         You know what I mean?
                                         
                                         For sure.
                                         
                                         Soft, soft, soft bones.
                                         
                                         And there's a humidity.
                                         
                                         There's a wetness.
                                         
                                         Oh, yeah.
                                         
                                         He's got a climate.
                                         
                                         I bet it keeps. It's a wetness. He's got a climate. I bet it keeps... It's like memory
                                         
    
                                         foam. If you rub your
                                         
                                         boner against his butt cheek, it keeps
                                         
                                         the impression of your boner.
                                         
                                         It's like Mr. Burns. Mr. Burns' body.
                                         
                                         I think he's like an underinflated
                                         
                                         inflatable couch with a skeleton
                                         
                                         in it.
                                         
                                         Now, we're selling merch
                                         
    
                                         after the shows and this woman comes up she's like i want to follow you on
                                         
                                         instagram and it's her and her husband they're two like those older people that hang out and
                                         
                                         get hammered at comedy clubs they're trying to get it no they were i think they're just huge
                                         
                                         comedy fans but they like go to us the whole club knows them so she goes bill up where's your phone
                                         
                                         and he hands a phone and she's trying to open instagram and she's like i don't have instagram
                                         
                                         and she opens instagram and goes to the search page to find me all butts,
                                         
                                         all like young bikini butts.
                                         
                                         It was so,
                                         
    
                                         it was his Instagram.
                                         
                                         It was his phone and she got it.
                                         
                                         And she's like,
                                         
                                         Oh,
                                         
                                         so gross.
                                         
                                         You probably jacks off to these.
                                         
                                         Probably does.
                                         
                                         Like,
                                         
    
                                         yeah,
                                         
                                         probably.
                                         
                                         And then I just typed in Sean Cougar,
                                         
                                         Melon Jordan.
                                         
                                         So it was,
                                         
                                         it was a funny one.
                                         
                                         Did he unfollow you?
                                         
                                         He's like, I don't need any jokes in my algorithm.
                                         
    
                                         He's like, I have this finely tuned the way I want it.
                                         
                                         He did.
                                         
                                         He did.
                                         
                                         It was hilarious.
                                         
                                         If I followed every bullshit account my wife wanted.
                                         
                                         What's with all these skate videos?
                                         
                                         What's with these fucking skate videos clogging up my butt feed?
                                         
                                         Everybody knows I come on here to jack off.
                                         
    
                                         I have a pristine environment.
                                         
                                         There's better places.
                                         
                                         If you want fodder for that, Philip,
                                         
                                         you don't have to do it on Instagram, my friend.
                                         
                                         Let's not put value judgment on what people are
                                         
                                         jaying it to.
                                         
                                         Some people kind of like that, you know.
                                         
                                         Just a still shot?
                                         
    
                                         Okay.
                                         
                                         I apologize.
                                         
                                         It's like the people who go soft core when
                                         
                                         there are other options.
                                         
                                         You know, some people just prefer
                                         
                                         the storytelling i have done that more recently than you think probably i doubt it let's take a
                                         
                                         guess let's take a guess as to how recently i'm saying three days ago okay three days ago i put
                                         
                                         it inside of eight um uh between me starting the podcast and right now, you can, I only got to hold the mic with one hand.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Uh, no, it's probably three months ago.
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
                                         Oh, that's disappointing.
                                         
                                         Oh, when was the last time you guys did it?
                                         
                                         A little SCS.
                                         
                                         Softcore sesh.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
    
                                         Softcore ninth grade.
                                         
                                         Sometimes Hellraiser three has got a decent, decent one.
                                         
                                         That's a different story entirely.
                                         
                                         That's false.
                                         
                                         It's out of a movie.
                                         
                                         I mean, it's kind of softcore. Wild thing. That's kind of story entirely. That's false. It's out of a movie. I mean, it's kind of softcore.
                                         
                                         Wild thing.
                                         
                                         That's kind of softcore. Hellraiser 3?
                                         
    
                                         Hellraiser 3 is so weird.
                                         
                                         It was like the first one I ever saw where I was like,
                                         
                                         whoa, I'm going to get that for later.
                                         
                                         Softcore is like Calabasas Car Wash
                                         
                                         and stuff like that. I know what softcore
                                         
                                         is. Red Shoe Diaries.
                                         
                                         Evidently, you don't.
                                         
                                         I knew what softcore was when you were
                                         
    
                                         still saying queer as a fifth grader
                                         
                                         I know
                                         
                                         you were yeah I've been
                                         
                                         knowing also girl dads available
                                         
                                         buy it on patreon nobody's buying
                                         
                                         that you're like a grown up you could
                                         
                                         bring back saying queer and make it cool
                                         
                                         it is cool but like you could
                                         
    
                                         just use it as its original intention
                                         
                                         quite queer yeah try it out It is cool, but you could just use it as its original intention. Quite queer.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Try it out.
                                         
                                         It's hard.
                                         
                                         I thought that, and then I heard you say it,
                                         
                                         and it was hard for me to not.
                                         
                                         Yeah, it's not good.
                                         
    
                                         I'm just pausing until the next subject comes up.
                                         
                                         I'm sticking out of this one.
                                         
                                         I think so.
                                         
                                         Let's get you to weigh in.
                                         
                                         What do you think?
                                         
                                         Should I say queer in the uh sort of miriam
                                         
                                         webster definition right out in the world see how it goes i thought it queer we're gonna manipulate
                                         
                                         your audio so it does sound like you're interacting with us either way oh my audio yes absolutely
                                         
    
                                         yeah well we needed what you just said i find that a queer decision
                                         
                                         there we go there we go Now we're in it.
                                         
                                         I was such a little...
                                         
                                         Two authors facing off.
                                         
                                         That's right.
                                         
                                         I was a tiny little nerdy kid
                                         
                                         and I must have read that word
                                         
                                         in like the red badge of courage or something
                                         
    
                                         and I was like, fantastic, another
                                         
                                         arrow for my quiver. And I used queer
                                         
                                         in the traditional sense of the word.
                                         
                                         Sorry. A little boy saying that and I used queer in the traditional sense of the word. Sorry!
                                         
                                         A little boy saying that is like
                                         
                                         rife for bullying.
                                         
                                         You read that in a book!
                                         
                                         My older brother was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
                                         
    
                                         whoa, whoa, whoa.
                                         
                                         He's like, you gotta relax.
                                         
                                         I love you. You gotta stop with
                                         
                                         all that quiver talk.
                                         
                                         We're taking away your books.
                                         
                                         We're taking away your books, Ian.
                                         
                                         They got me a Super Nintendo later
                                         
                                         that day.
                                         
    
                                         Another arrow for my quiver. That's so funny.
                                         
                                         Should we talk about the all fantasy
                                         
                                         everything? You know what? Let's go through everybody's individual
                                         
                                         and then we will tell people about the tier.
                                         
                                         David Borey is here. CoolGuyJokes87
                                         
                                         on Instagram.
                                         
                                         That's it. Yeah, I'm not telling you.
                                         
                                         I'm not telling you my email.
                                         
    
                                         I'm not showing. Royal Crackers.
                                         
                                         Available now on... Oh yeah, watch Royal Crackers
                                         
                                         on Max.
                                         
                                         Anything you need to talk about? Why are you leading me? Available now on... Oh, yeah. Watch Royal Crackers on Max. Anything
                                         
                                         you need to talk about?
                                         
                                         I thought you got a voice from a
                                         
                                         System of a Down guy
                                         
                                         on Royal Crackers. That was pretty cool.
                                         
    
                                         Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                         I do alternate voices, too.
                                         
                                         It's always fun when they let me do the other
                                         
                                         ones where I'm like, no, you got a voice
                                         
                                         from one of the...
                                         
                                         From a guy in System of a Down voiced one of the... Oh, we got a voice from one of the, you do from a guy in System of a Down
                                         
                                         like voiced one of the, oh, we got a voice
                                         
                                         yeah, but I've done a rock and roll guy voice
                                         
    
                                         on there too, yeah, I've heard that too, yeah
                                         
                                         oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, we get weird
                                         
                                         ones in there, it's crazy
                                         
                                         it's awesome, yeah, so watch
                                         
                                         that
                                         
                                         I have something, wait, sorry
                                         
                                         what are you saying, what is Sean being coy about
                                         
                                         on your behalf, anything why are you saying? What is Sean being coy about on your behalf? Anything.
                                         
    
                                         What are you doing?
                                         
                                         Stop doing that.
                                         
                                         Sean knows something.
                                         
                                         He knows something.
                                         
                                         I'm not announcing.
                                         
                                         When does this come out?
                                         
                                         Isaac's gone.
                                         
                                         Thursday.
                                         
    
                                         This comes out next, this Thursday, day after tomorrow.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I'm not going to announce it until next week.
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
                                         He's pitching.
                                         
                                         He's pitching for the Rockies.
                                         
                                         Honestly?
                                         
                                         He could. After that D-backs game
                                         
                                         that was
                                         
    
                                         hey you know what tickets are going to be
                                         
                                         cheap I'm getting a box this year
                                         
                                         tickets are cheap and you guys got
                                         
                                         plenty you know you got the
                                         
                                         nuggets there nothing to feel bad about
                                         
                                         I mean we did just lose to the Timberwolves
                                         
                                         that was kind of a bummer
                                         
                                         it was a worse loss than I thought it was going to be.
                                         
    
                                         They smoked us.
                                         
                                         Yeah, and old boy did not ball out.
                                         
                                         I was worried about what's his name, and he did not ball out.
                                         
                                         We still kind of got smoked.
                                         
                                         Anthony Edwards.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Because, man, talk about a fun guy to watch.
                                         
                                         Oh, my God.
                                         
    
                                         He's the best.
                                         
                                         He's insane.
                                         
                                         He plays strong.
                                         
                                         We haven't had a dark-skinned hero that
                                         
                                         big in basketball for a long time he's got he's got like scary he plays i'm scared of him he's
                                         
                                         got like simultaneously now this is like a grand hyperbole theater but he simultaneously has like
                                         
                                         michael jordan on the court potential and charles barkley off the court potential which is pretty
                                         
                                         wild off the court he's some of the interviews he does you're just like what the fuck i remember an
                                         
    
                                         interview with him early on and they were asking him something about like pets like what type of
                                         
                                         pet would you like to have and he's just like and he thought for a while and he was like a lion i'd
                                         
                                         like to have a lion but then you could see him in real time being like but they probably wouldn't
                                         
                                         let i probably couldn't and he starts like unpacking the
                                         
                                         reasons why it's not a good
                                         
                                         idea for him and every
                                         
                                         thoughts dawning on him and you could see it come
                                         
                                         as if for the first time he's really
                                         
    
                                         like why couldn't I get a lion and it was just
                                         
                                         a wonderful journey of YouTube it's fantastic
                                         
                                         I love
                                         
                                         I love a big
                                         
                                         personality on a sports star
                                         
                                         he's wonderful.
                                         
                                         I'm sick of all this humble shit.
                                         
                                         The media training.
                                         
    
                                         No, be nuts, man.
                                         
                                         Yeah, go crazy.
                                         
                                         He had this dunk, and I won't be able to complete this story
                                         
                                         because there's a word in it that I can't say,
                                         
                                         but he dunked on John.
                                         
                                         You stopped saying queer?
                                         
                                         Queer.
                                         
                                         He dunked on Johnins so hard this year that like he gave john i think it was the
                                         
    
                                         john collins dunk it might have actually been an earlier one this season so anyway he dunked on
                                         
                                         someone super duper duper hard uh and didn't see the dunk until after the game it might have been
                                         
                                         the john collins one and they showed him the footage for the first time after the game's over and he's watching it and there's cameras on him and he knows that and he sees the
                                         
                                         dunk and he goes oh and then little the word I can't say about the six foot ten guy he just dunked
                                         
                                         on fully on camera not being just he's so great even like, that's not even really like shit talking as
                                         
                                         much as it is just like.
                                         
                                         It's just a statement of fact.
                                         
                                         Just a statement of fact.
                                         
    
                                         Because the way he yams it on people too, he's, there's no like, he just explodes.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         It's not like fast break, like three steps, huge jump.
                                         
                                         It's just like step, step, yam it on you.
                                         
                                         Oh, it's nasty.
                                         
                                         Well, except for that, like SWat this season where his head was above
                                         
                                         the basket that's what I'm saying
                                         
                                         that when he ran the length of the court
                                         
    
                                         didn't he say he's never
                                         
                                         jumped that high when he saw the clip
                                         
                                         yeah yeah I've never been
                                         
                                         in a position past the age
                                         
                                         of 10 where I was like
                                         
                                         a new jump height
                                         
                                         yeah yeah I unlocked a new jump height I didn't know I could do that
                                         
                                         I didn't even know I unlocked a new thing
                                         
    
                                         my body can do
                                         
                                         like you've never jumped that
                                         
                                         high you play basketball
                                         
                                         for money
                                         
                                         like you were just holding back this whole time
                                         
                                         imagine having
                                         
                                         an extra gear to jump high Jesus
                                         
                                         Christ another one
                                         
    
                                         of the man you I think you guys
                                         
                                         have another two seasons before
                                         
                                         him and Wemby become like
                                         
                                         actual massive hurdles
                                         
                                         on the way to the Wemby clips
                                         
                                         are getting scarier and scarier
                                         
                                         yeah I keep saying we need to kill him
                                         
                                         his body needs to be more
                                         
    
                                         frail yeah
                                         
                                         does anybody feel like that I just think we need to kill him.
                                         
                                         You think he's going to take over like Xerxes or something?
                                         
                                         Yeah, he's too tall.
                                         
                                         He's too good.
                                         
                                         It's a whole other thing.
                                         
                                         He's got handles.
                                         
                                         You can't.
                                         
    
                                         He's flexible.
                                         
                                         Oh, yeah.
                                         
                                         You see him doing yoga and that shit?
                                         
                                         He's light on his feet.
                                         
                                         He's got like Dhalsim flexibility.
                                         
                                         I think he just like, I'm sorry.
                                         
                                         He just needs to be taken out. And who's
                                         
                                         going to be the one to try to do that? You just talked about
                                         
    
                                         a superhuman. You're going to go try to take him down?
                                         
                                         Dude, it's just the NBA is getting
                                         
                                         to freak level. Like we're talking about algorithms.
                                         
                                         My whole shit's just basketball clips. And so
                                         
                                         like every day there's something new that's like,
                                         
                                         and here's a seven foot eight kid who's
                                         
                                         16 in Tennessee.
                                         
                                         There's just, they're all coming out. They're getting bigger
                                         
    
                                         and longer and more skillful.
                                         
                                         It's insane.
                                         
                                         He's going to have an eight footer in five years.
                                         
                                         Here's one thing I think we do do.
                                         
                                         I think we keep it for Americans.
                                         
                                         Yes.
                                         
                                         I think we get these foreigners out of here.
                                         
                                         You're in the same town I'm in.
                                         
    
                                         This is, this is Yoke City.
                                         
                                         You really want to say that?
                                         
                                         I'm afraid of his brothers. Oh my God. I sat in a steam room. I sat in, this is Jokic City. You really want to say that? I'm afraid of his brothers.
                                         
                                         Oh my God. I sat in a
                                         
                                         steam room. I sat in a steam room
                                         
                                         with the older brother.
                                         
                                         It's going to be like Easter Island.
                                         
                                         A lot of big crosses tattooed on their backs.
                                         
    
                                         There's a bigger one.
                                         
                                         That's what's fucked up.
                                         
                                         He's bigger than Jokic, dude.
                                         
                                         That's what I'm saying.
                                         
                                         I was in the steam room
                                         
                                         and he came in. I was like, oh fuck. That's what I'm saying. Head to toe. Yeah, I was in the steam room and he came in.
                                         
                                         I was like, oh, fuck.
                                         
                                         That's the biggest man I've ever been around.
                                         
    
                                         That sucks because also you can't like leave immediately now.
                                         
                                         You got to like, right?
                                         
                                         You got to like stay there somewhere.
                                         
                                         I tried to do a little small talk, but he wasn't having any of it.
                                         
                                         What is his name?
                                         
                                         It's like Strahinja.
                                         
                                         Strahinja or something.
                                         
                                         Yeah, something really scary.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         I don't think he has anything small.
                                         
                                         Just trying to pronounce it. What's your name?
                                         
                                         So what is your name? How are you enjoying
                                         
                                         Denver? How do you compare it?
                                         
                                         How do you find it compared to Sambor?
                                         
                                         He's just like
                                         
                                         puts me through a fucking ceramic
                                         
    
                                         wall. Fairly serious question.
                                         
                                         Have they thought about raising the hoop
                                         
                                         at all? Or like doing anything
                                         
                                         different to basketball? Because at a certain
                                         
                                         point, they're just going to be able to stand there
                                         
                                         and put it in. Well, we still want children
                                         
                                         to be able to play it, right?
                                         
                                         We still need normals to be able
                                         
    
                                         to be somewhat accessible.
                                         
                                         They extended the extra point back, right? Like they did
                                         
                                         that a few years ago. Have they ever thought about
                                         
                                         doing anything in basketball to make it
                                         
                                         harder than it currently is?
                                         
                                         Doesn't need to be done?
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
                                         They've started calling.
                                         
    
                                         I mean, now we're getting
                                         
                                         into the weeds.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         We don't have.
                                         
                                         I was honestly just wondering.
                                         
                                         The kind of thing
                                         
                                         you're looking for,
                                         
                                         they have not thought about.
                                         
    
                                         Like rock and jock.
                                         
                                         I want some rock and jock stuff.
                                         
                                         One guy gets to be on a horse
                                         
                                         or somebody gets a gun.
                                         
                                         Oh, you want a 50 point?
                                         
                                         I want little things.
                                         
                                         I don't think it was a bad.
                                         
                                         I think it'd be great if that was real basketball
                                         
    
                                         If there was like another hoop, if there was a 50 point shot
                                         
                                         One of the hoops goes back to the original peach bucket
                                         
                                         So they just have to have one quarter
                                         
                                         With the original peach bucket hoop
                                         
                                         It turns into rugby for like 5 minutes a game
                                         
                                         Like you can just travel
                                         
                                         How about this for an idea
                                         
                                         The amount of height
                                         
    
                                         You have on the court at any given time
                                         
                                         Cannot exceed 30 feet.
                                         
                                         See?
                                         
                                         Oh, I like that.
                                         
                                         I like that.
                                         
                                         There's all these fucking math nerds on the coaching staff now.
                                         
                                         They've got combos ready to roll.
                                         
                                         They're going to moneyball this shit.
                                         
    
                                         So you can have Wemby, but then you've got to have a couple of dudes who are like 5'3 out there.
                                         
                                         I like this.
                                         
                                         Working with them.
                                         
                                         That's a good cumulative height per team.
                                         
                                         You get Wemby and then like four Sharpies.
                                         
                                         You get what? Wemby and four Sharpies.
                                         
                                         Wemby and four Sharpies.
                                         
                                         Yeah, Wemby and four Sharpies. I mean, that's not a title.
                                         
    
                                         Sharpie's athletic, so
                                         
                                         that'd be a good team, I bet. And he's mean.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         He's got the fire.
                                         
                                         Yeah, he's got that little guy mean.
                                         
                                         I was on a show with him the other day.
                                         
                                         He's so funny.
                                         
                                         He really is.
                                         
    
                                         He really is.
                                         
                                         Ian, fire off a telegraph to Adam Silver right now.
                                         
                                         That's a very good idea.
                                         
                                         I weirdly have Adam Silver's email from before he was a commissioner.
                                         
                                         You were just typing it into Google and the bubble popped up?
                                         
                                         I was on an airplane with Chelsea.
                                         
                                         When I opened for Chelsea Handler, I was in a private jet with chelsea handler and someone she was working with was also had like gone to
                                         
                                         summer camp with adam silver and they were friends and she found out that i liked basketball and i
                                         
    
                                         don't think she realized that he was the deputy commissioner of the nba to her it was like her
                                         
                                         friend adam who works at the nba and so she was like I'll send you his email so you guys can talk and maybe you can work together
                                         
                                         and I was like thanks
                                         
                                         I'm never sending him
                                         
                                         a fucking email he's the deputy commissioner
                                         
                                         of the NBA I'm a stand-up comedian what am I
                                         
                                         going to pitch him like a you know a
                                         
                                         Vine series like that have you ever thought about
                                         
    
                                         a hair piece
                                         
                                         he is bald
                                         
                                         he bald as hell he's bald in his heart
                                         
                                         I just got to the part where
                                         
                                         if you've seen The Sopranos, don't listen
                                         
                                         Joey Pants finally got taken care of
                                         
                                         you gotta stop
                                         
                                         you don't know what people are
                                         
    
                                         I said if you're not listening to The Sopranos
                                         
                                         or if you're watching this
                                         
                                         it's 25 years old
                                         
                                         if you haven't seen it
                                         
                                         the TikTokers are finding it
                                         
                                         all the young kids are on it suddenly it's weird
                                         
                                         anyway keep going
                                         
                                         uh David Moore will not be
                                         
    
                                         no I didn't mean to it was hairpiece
                                         
                                         oh okay
                                         
                                         it's fresh
                                         
                                         on my mind sorry I watched it last night
                                         
                                         oh I'm frozen
                                         
                                         Ian's frozen guys
                                         
                                         we have to get it he got so mad at me he froze
                                         
                                         alright there he goes
                                         
    
                                         I wasn't mad
                                         
                                         Adam Cadenholm is here
                                         
                                         hey guys
                                         
                                         that was when I was supposed to do it
                                         
                                         yes hello everyone
                                         
                                         I didn't know if I had frozen again
                                         
                                         it's Adam what is it
                                         
                                         what are your social medias
                                         
    
                                         at Caden Holland
                                         
                                         that's god damn right
                                         
                                         C-A-Y-T-O-N-H-O-L-L-A-N-D at Caden Holland. That's goddamn right. C-A-Y-T-O-N-H-O-L-L-A-N-D
                                         
                                         at Caden Holland.
                                         
                                         So.
                                         
                                         Talk about your rivaling dad special.
                                         
                                         Why don't you?
                                         
                                         Oh, that's right.
                                         
    
                                         I forgot about that.
                                         
                                         I put out a dad special
                                         
                                         called Wallpaper in January.
                                         
                                         Sean was so threatened.
                                         
                                         He immediately was like,
                                         
                                         I got to get an hour. I gotta put one out.
                                         
                                         I had a kid three years ago because I knew it was gonna happen.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I got a new special
                                         
    
                                         called Wallpaper. It's on YouTube.
                                         
                                         Not behind some paywall
                                         
                                         because I'm not great. Oh, get me.
                                         
                                         Take me to task.
                                         
                                         People are loving it. It's out there.
                                         
                                         It's great and you should check it out.
                                         
                                         It's great. It's better than Sean's. Everybody loves it.
                                         
                                         I liked it. It's free.
                                         
    
                                         It's taller. It's more handsome.
                                         
                                         Bori texted me. It was very nice.
                                         
                                         He's like, I actually watched you. It was really nice of you.
                                         
                                         I appreciate the kind words, man.
                                         
                                         Paywall has stopped David Bori from texting
                                         
                                         me any accolades about mine, so
                                         
                                         it hurts.
                                         
                                         Well, now this is awkward, huh?
                                         
    
                                         It runs a faster 40
                                         
                                         I have not watched your whole special yet Sean I'm sorry
                                         
                                         I don't expect anyone to watch it
                                         
                                         to be fair I watched Adam's like 6 weeks
                                         
                                         after his came out too
                                         
                                         it was wild
                                         
                                         if you've seen Chris Rock's Bigger and Blacker you've seen Sean's new special
                                         
                                         just for the record
                                         
    
                                         well I mean you've seen the key bit
                                         
                                         you've seen the hallmark bit
                                         
                                         save yourself 2 and a half hours and skip my new special.
                                         
                                         He says, there's two kinds of people
                                         
                                         and my daughter's neither of them.
                                         
                                         And then he goes into it.
                                         
                                         I don't know how we started talking about Sean's fucking special.
                                         
                                         Adam Caden Holland
                                         
    
                                         has his own.
                                         
                                         It's called Wallpaper.
                                         
                                         It's the first hour-length one I've ever put out
                                         
                                         and I'm tremendously proud of it.
                                         
                                         And it's nice when you have full control over something, isn't it it or it's just like, OK, I get a final cut.
                                         
                                         I get all of that shit. It's great. I've never really had that before.
                                         
                                         And so, yeah, the thing you see on screen is exactly what I wanted you to see.
                                         
                                         And that's that's rare and great.
                                         
    
                                         I don't think you need any of us knuckleheads telling you, but Adam is so fucking funny and such a wonderful stand-up comedian. And if you're
                                         
                                         looking for something fun to do for an hour,
                                         
                                         you can't find a better
                                         
                                         diversion than wallpaper. Where'd you shoot it?
                                         
                                         Here in Denver at the
                                         
                                         Bug Theater where we do our monthly Grawlix show.
                                         
                                         Kind of my
                                         
                                         home away from home. I love that.
                                         
    
                                         I love that room. So I shot it there and they made it look real
                                         
                                         nice. Had the Nix brothers, my homies
                                         
                                         from back in the day, film it.
                                         
                                         They,
                                         
                                         they fucking put their spin on it.
                                         
                                         John Starks and Charles Oakley.
                                         
                                         You got it.
                                         
                                         You got it.
                                         
    
                                         Those two have pivoted real hard and they're doing some fine,
                                         
                                         fine specials.
                                         
                                         Mostly,
                                         
                                         mostly TikToks,
                                         
                                         but this is their first full life.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         No,
                                         
                                         that's sick,
                                         
    
                                         man.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         So that's what I wanted to plug.
                                         
                                         Thanks dudes.
                                         
                                         Of course, dude. That's going to be a wonderful, yeah no that's sick man yeah so that's what I wanted to plug thanks dudes of course dude that's gonna be
                                         
                                         wonderful nothing else to plug any live
                                         
                                         dates you wanna
                                         
                                         I'll plug our podcast
                                         
    
                                         the Grawlix saves the world
                                         
                                         no no no no no no no no no no
                                         
                                         live dates
                                         
                                         I'm in LA soon I'm on LA
                                         
                                         417 I'm at Hot Tub
                                         
                                         418 I'm at Largo doing my one-man show,
                                         
                                         which is a whole different beast.
                                         
                                         So if you want to see my regular stand-up,
                                         
    
                                         417, Hot Tub.
                                         
                                         Want to see the one-man show?
                                         
                                         Largo, 418.
                                         
                                         I'm excited for this trip.
                                         
                                         It'll be fun.
                                         
                                         I'm going to be in goddamn Austin.
                                         
                                         I'm so sorry.
                                         
                                         Austin's okay.
                                         
    
                                         I wish I could be there.
                                         
                                         I love Austin.
                                         
                                         I'm very excited,
                                         
                                         but I'm not going to be able to see Adam Schoen. I really wanted to.
                                         
                                         It's alright. Just buy a ticket.
                                         
                                         I'm going to be in town for your 20th.
                                         
                                         This is not. Never mind.
                                         
                                         Let's talk about all my dates.
                                         
    
                                         You had texted me and I was going to be out of town.
                                         
                                         Now I'm going to be in town for your 20...
                                         
                                         Is it your 20th year or your 25th
                                         
                                         year? No, not 25.
                                         
                                         I'm celebrating my 20th year in stand-up comedy
                                         
                                         this month in April. Isn't that fucking wild? I'm going to go. I'm celebrating my 20th year in stand-up comedy this month in April.
                                         
                                         Isn't that fucking wild?
                                         
                                         I'm going to go.
                                         
    
                                         It's on the 13th, right?
                                         
                                         That's the one at the Lion's Lair.
                                         
                                         I asked you to do the ones at the Comedy Works.
                                         
                                         So yeah, I started at this dive bar
                                         
                                         called the Lion's Lair.
                                         
                                         It's a shithole.
                                         
                                         You guys would love it.
                                         
                                         And I started at an open mic there.
                                         
    
                                         And so I was like, you know what?
                                         
                                         I'm doing my 20th anniversary.
                                         
                                         I'm doing two shows there. And I'm going to film it. And it's just like, you know what? I'm doing my 20th anniversary. I'm doing two shows there and I'm going to film
                                         
                                         it and it's just like, see what I get.
                                         
                                         So awesome. And I went in the other day
                                         
                                         to scout it and I was like, oh yeah, there's no
                                         
                                         lipstick on this pig. I thought through like
                                         
                                         nostalgia.
                                         
    
                                         I'd be like, oh, this is so great.
                                         
                                         Within three minutes, I was like, this fucking
                                         
                                         shithole. But I'm so
                                         
                                         excited to film there. What was the last time you had been there?
                                         
                                         It had been 15 years
                                         
                                         since I'd been there. Once you escape that
                                         
                                         open mic, you'll go back to that
                                         
                                         shit. Do you remember your first set? Do you still have
                                         
    
                                         a set list or anything? Do you remember
                                         
                                         what you did? I remember the first
                                         
                                         bit was very hacky. It was just like
                                         
                                         about having a hyphenated last name.
                                         
                                         It was just like, whichever parent dies
                                         
                                         first loses the name. So it's like
                                         
                                         a race for them to try to outlast the other type of thing.
                                         
                                         It was that joke.
                                         
    
                                         That's your hacky joke.
                                         
                                         That's your idea of a hacky joke.
                                         
                                         Mine was about cum.
                                         
                                         What was your first joke about cum?
                                         
                                         Yeah, yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                         What was your take?
                                         
                                         How did you announce yourself to the world?
                                         
                                         It was like, this is my first time
                                         
    
                                         i'm really i'm really nervous i feel like i'm losing my virginity so don't don't don't get
                                         
                                         mad if i tell all my jokes all over your stomach in the first minute that's pretty good again not
                                         
                                         bad that's good yeah first joke well bori come hang out that That's going to be a fun night. Yeah, I'll be there. Dude, is Tony still there?
                                         
                                         Tony who?
                                         
                                         The bartender. What this does, this is in the weeds.
                                         
                                         That's pretty tight, though. Yeah, Tony Shalhoub.
                                         
                                         I've seen a lot of crazy stuff at the Lion's Lair. I saw a couple of Vic G
                                         
                                         meltdowns. That place is great.
                                         
    
                                         Yep. I did cocaine
                                         
                                         in the back room a couple times.
                                         
                                         Very fun. Oh, yeah. Very fun stuff.
                                         
                                         Come on, man. That place, yeah.
                                         
                                         That was the first place
                                         
                                         I did comedy in Denver as well.
                                         
                                         And then I did so well,
                                         
                                         Sam let me do
                                         
    
                                         like two minutes on the Grawlix
                                         
                                         and you let me do five
                                         
                                         because I was doing well.
                                         
                                         So guys, your boy's always been a killer.
                                         
                                         No big deal.
                                         
                                         Good job, bud.
                                         
                                         Lion's Lair on Tuesday,
                                         
                                         Grawlix Friday night.
                                         
    
                                         I blew through this town.
                                         
                                         Hell yeah. My name is Ian Carmel at Ian Carmel on Tuesday, Grawlix Friday night. I blew through this term. Hell yeah.
                                         
                                         My name is Ian Carmel
                                         
                                         at Ian Carmel on Twitter,
                                         
                                         Instagram, YouTube, TikTok,
                                         
                                         all those places.
                                         
                                         Pre-order my book,
                                         
                                         T-shirt swim club.
                                         
    
                                         Pre-orders help so, so, so much.
                                         
                                         If you're planning on getting it,
                                         
                                         why not throw a pre-order in there?
                                         
                                         You can pre-order from Powell's now
                                         
                                         in addition to all the other places,
                                         
                                         bookshop.org, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, etc., etc.
                                         
                                         What else?
                                         
                                         Oh, you can come see me on the road doing stand-up comedy.
                                         
    
                                         I am going to be at Moon Tower Comedy Festival, April 17th through the 20th.
                                         
                                         Shane Torres will be there, too.
                                         
                                         I'm going to be at the Vermont Comedy Club in Burlington, May 2nd through the 4th.
                                         
                                         And on Comedy on State, May 9th through the 11th with David Borey.
                                         
                                         Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                         We're both going to be there doing stand-up comedy.
                                         
                                         It's going to be a lot of fun.
                                         
                                         That's about it for plugs on that front.
                                         
    
                                         That place figured it out.
                                         
                                         Oh, it's the best.
                                         
                                         It's crazy.
                                         
                                         They're bigger now, too.
                                         
                                         80 extra seats.
                                         
                                         Every show was sold out.
                                         
                                         Granted, it was with Kyle, but it's like,
                                         
                                         man, they do it right. The entire
                                         
    
                                         staff, everybody there.
                                         
                                         It's shocking to me how good that place
                                         
                                         is. Everyone who wanted to go see
                                         
                                         Kyle, come see David and I, too.
                                         
                                         Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think they're gonna.
                                         
                                         We're basically just like Kyle.
                                         
                                         We're basically Kyle Kinnick.
                                         
                                         Yeah, we're of the generation that I started with a lot of guys who were just doing Kyle. We're basically Kyle Kinnick. Yeah, we're of
                                         
    
                                         the generation that I started with
                                         
                                         a lot of guys who were just doing Kyle.
                                         
                                         Absolutely. Do you remember that when there's like
                                         
                                         a bunch of dudes who were just
                                         
                                         doing Kyle? Oh, yeah.
                                         
                                         Absolutely. We had a guy
                                         
                                         he would change his voice
                                         
                                         when he went on stage. Like he'd talk to him and he'd be like
                                         
    
                                         Hi guys, I'm Josh. How's it going?
                                         
                                         And then he'd be on stage and he'd be like
                                         
                                         And then I found
                                         
                                         a Dorito under my couch
                                         
                                         and blah, blah, blah.
                                         
                                         I used to talk with Kyle about that. I was like, Do you think
                                         
                                         the good that you have put out into the comedy world
                                         
                                         outweighs the bad you have unleashed
                                         
    
                                         in your copycat?
                                         
                                         And now I can safely say, for
                                         
                                         sure, undeniably. But for a while, Kyle
                                         
                                         was like, I don't know, man. I truly don't
                                         
                                         know. I didn't think I knew all that math I learned in high school.
                                         
                                         Then I tried to get a Dorito into the open mouth of a beer can.
                                         
                                         I figured, oh, it did need physics after all.
                                         
                                         I don't know.
                                         
    
                                         I've heard that exact joke from somebody.
                                         
                                         That's somebody.
                                         
                                         Pretty good.
                                         
                                         Oh, yes.
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
                                         So, All Fantasy Everything, we're coming on the road.
                                         
                                         Do I?
                                         
                                         Sean, you were talking about the dates.
                                         
    
                                         Do you have them in front of you or am I scrambling?
                                         
                                         No, I got them.
                                         
                                         I got them.
                                         
                                         My man.
                                         
                                         Hey, if they're all accurate, I'm pretty sure.
                                         
                                         So as of right now, the ticket link should be up probably by now.
                                         
                                         This comes out on, you don't care.
                                         
                                         They should be up by now.
                                         
    
                                         I think so.
                                         
                                         They're launching them.
                                         
                                         Yeah, they should be up by now.
                                         
                                         We will compile them as soon as it comes out.
                                         
                                         We'll compile all the ticket links.
                                         
                                         I keep looking for them. Find the links in our, at least in my bio. now. We will compile them as soon as it comes out. We'll compile all the ticket links. I keep looking for them.
                                         
                                         Find the links, at least in my bio.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
    
                                         I'll put them up.
                                         
                                         I'll get them all organized for all of us, and then we'll get a poster made.
                                         
                                         But Tuesday, June 11th, Bell House, New York.
                                         
                                         Wednesday, June 12th, Underground Arts in Philly.
                                         
                                         Going back to Philly.
                                         
                                         I can't wait.
                                         
                                         I can't wait.
                                         
                                         Thursday, June 13th, back at the Bell House.
                                         
    
                                         So we're doing a Tuesday-Thursday punch at the Bell House in New York.
                                         
                                         Two scoops at the Bell House, two massive guests.
                                         
                                         So you're not going to want to miss out on that.
                                         
                                         Friday, June 14th, going back to the Black Cat,
                                         
                                         where Ian did the most embarrassing thing he's ever done in D.C.
                                         
                                         Saturday, June 15th, doing the Randolph Theater in Toronto.
                                         
                                         T-Dot, baby, we're coming up north.
                                         
                                         We're coming to the six for the first time. Finally.
                                         
    
                                         Marissa's Ancestral
                                         
                                         Stomping Grounds. I've never been up there.
                                         
                                         I'm excited, man. The
                                         
                                         dudes that do another skateboard podcast I listen to,
                                         
                                         they're up there, so I'm going to try to get them out.
                                         
                                         Nobody cares. Sunday, June
                                         
                                         16th, Somerville Mass.
                                         
                                         Somerville Mass.
                                         
    
                                         Art City Armory. Somerville's in
                                         
                                         Boston, right? It's basically Boston.
                                         
                                         Basically Boston. Boston's that place where it's like
                                         
                                         Cambridge isn't technically Boston,
                                         
                                         even though I walked to... Yeah, it's that kind of thing.
                                         
                                         You just cross the street and you're in Cambridge.
                                         
                                         I'm getting a lobster.
                                         
                                         Yes. Ooh, Monday, we're
                                         
    
                                         off. What am I going to do?
                                         
                                         Anyway, Tuesday. I bet I could guess.
                                         
                                         Some softcore porn, dude. Probably take the day off. I'm going to rent? Anyway, Tuesday. I bet I can guess. Some soft core porn.
                                         
                                         Probably take the day off.
                                         
                                         I'm going to run wild things in the hotel.
                                         
                                         Tuesday, June 18th, going to Pittsburgh PA at Bottle Rock at Social Hall, which I've heard amazing things about.
                                         
                                         Yeah, it's fun.
                                         
                                         I've never been to Pittsburgh.
                                         
    
                                         It's going to be interesting.
                                         
                                         We're coming on a Monday or coming on a Tuesday at Pittsburgh.
                                         
                                         Show out.
                                         
                                         It's going to be all right.
                                         
                                         And then Wednesday in Lakewood, Ohio
                                         
                                         doing the Roxy at Mahal's Cleveland
                                         
                                         pretty much. I did the Roxy. I did
                                         
                                         Mahal's. That place rules. A little bowling alley
                                         
    
                                         in there.
                                         
                                         Thursday, June 20th, we're going to be
                                         
                                         the Magic Bag back in Detroit, Rock
                                         
                                         City. And then Friday,
                                         
                                         June 21st.
                                         
                                         Yeah, we're going to the Den
                                         
                                         Theater in Chicago, Illinois.
                                         
                                         Can't wait for that.
                                         
    
                                         Hit in Chicago for the first time in a very long time.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         I just met a couple people from Zany's when I was at Comedy on State.
                                         
                                         One of the managers is someone that runs a club.
                                         
                                         So anyway.
                                         
                                         They rule.
                                         
                                         And then the Parkway Theater, Saturday, June 22nd in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
                                         
                                         Closing it off.
                                         
    
                                         And yeah, man. I couldn't be more excited.
                                         
                                         I love all those places.
                                         
                                         The Parkway was so rad last time.
                                         
                                         It won't be 30 degrees when we're standing out selling T-shirts this time.
                                         
                                         We might not even have to sell them outside this time.
                                         
                                         That would be good to sell them inside.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         And I think we're going to have some merch, right?
                                         
    
                                         Some tourist-specific merch.
                                         
                                         We won't have the Sklars gumming up the works trying to get in on the theater, kicking us outside this time.
                                         
                                         Come see your favorite fellas on the road.
                                         
                                         It's going to be, it takes a lot to put this together.
                                         
                                         It does.
                                         
                                         Nobody's going home.
                                         
                                         Nobody's going home.
                                         
                                         I'm not going home.
                                         
    
                                         Hell no.
                                         
                                         No.
                                         
                                         That extra day, I mean, I'm going to army crawl to Pittsburgh.
                                         
                                         I think from DC or wherever the hell we are.
                                         
                                         We're going to be,
                                         
                                         uh,
                                         
                                         you know,
                                         
                                         we're,
                                         
    
                                         uh,
                                         
                                         other parts of the country,
                                         
                                         West coast.
                                         
                                         I know Atlanta.
                                         
                                         We,
                                         
                                         we want to come so bad.
                                         
                                         We're figuring it out.
                                         
                                         We will come.
                                         
    
                                         And the West coast to an easy punch.
                                         
                                         Like I don't think this,
                                         
                                         the hard one to figure out is this one,
                                         
                                         all the East coast and Midwest.
                                         
                                         Cause they're all so close and packed in and all that.
                                         
                                         We'll be coming later on in the year.
                                         
                                         Um, but yeah, come on out.
                                         
                                         We, we can't wait to meet everybody.
                                         
    
                                         We love it so much.
                                         
                                         The live shows are, if I can say so myself, incredibly fun.
                                         
                                         It's going to be a blast.
                                         
                                         And we're very excited to see you.
                                         
                                         I'm taking this entire month off of drinking just to gear up.
                                         
                                         Not like that's going to be the point.
                                         
                                         It's so funny. I decided a couple days ago.
                                         
                                         Wait, wouldn't it...
                                         
    
                                         Never mind. I was just kidding.
                                         
                                         Yeah, he'll still have May and mustard juice.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I'll get back in the spirit.
                                         
                                         Seems like May would have been a good...
                                         
                                         I decided like two days ago,
                                         
                                         like, all right, April, dry April.
                                         
                                         I haven't done that in a long time.
                                         
                                         And then the next day, I go to a surprise wedding reception. I was like, oh, man, all right, April, dry April. I haven't done that in a long time. And then the next day I go to a surprise wedding reception.
                                         
    
                                         I was like, oh man, what a true test of, and I didn't, but I felt like such there.
                                         
                                         Everyone's like, what are you doing?
                                         
                                         Come on.
                                         
                                         And I'm like, this is, this is it.
                                         
                                         You got to look in the mirror and be like, I have to be able to keep it together when
                                         
                                         I say I'm going to.
                                         
                                         It was tough, you know?
                                         
                                         But anyway, I'm no worse for wear.
                                         
    
                                         I did.
                                         
                                         Thank you.
                                         
                                         I appreciate it.
                                         
                                         And then like, like, like we, like in the group chat, you did all that cocaine.
                                         
                                         Yeah, you're doing elephant legs a blow.
                                         
                                         I didn't say anything about that.
                                         
                                         No, sir.
                                         
                                         That to me isn't sober. Sober is alcohol.
                                         
    
                                         Sherlock Holmes did cocaine. It's fine if you do it.
                                         
                                         A lot of James Martin.
                                         
                                         Made him smarter.
                                         
                                         I just want to say to your fans,
                                         
                                         they don't need to hear it,
                                         
                                         but I've seen your guys' live show numerous times.
                                         
                                         It's so damn funny
                                         
                                         see these dudes
                                         
    
                                         on the road live
                                         
                                         that's a killer tour
                                         
                                         I co-sign
                                         
                                         go see AFV live
                                         
                                         come on
                                         
                                         it means a lot man
                                         
                                         thank you
                                         
                                         ACH gave us the
                                         
    
                                         AFV CS
                                         
                                         god damn
                                         
                                         CS
                                         
                                         CL
                                         
                                         co-sign is what I was thinking
                                         
                                         fuck yeah
                                         
                                         I thought you said
                                         
                                         AFV CL
                                         
    
                                         it's like
                                         
                                         all fantasy everything
                                         
                                         boner pills
                                         
                                         I for a second thought it was seal of approval and I'm like how do you spell seal sign is what I was thinking. Fuck yeah. I thought you said A-F-E-C-L-S, like all fantasy everything boner pills.
                                         
                                         I, for a second, thought it was seal of approval, and I'm like,
                                         
                                         how do you spell seal?
                                         
                                         I thought maybe you spelled it with a C for a second.
                                         
                                         P-S-E-A-L. Yeah.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah. We're getting here today
                                         
                                         not only to debate
                                         
                                         once and for all how
                                         
                                         seal is spelled, but also
                                         
                                         to fantasy draft
                                         
                                         dead musicians who we would have liked
                                         
                                         to get some drinks with.
                                         
                                         We're calling it the dead musician happy hour.
                                         
    
                                         Can I ask you something? Nine inches.
                                         
                                         Dude, thank you. Man, I love being
                                         
                                         friends with all of you so much. Do they
                                         
                                         have to have been somebody?
                                         
                                         Can they be a sober person?
                                         
                                         So like if this person, so
                                         
                                         like if you just like, I just wanted to get some drinks with them.
                                         
                                         It does factor in, but there was a couple where I'm like, I think so too like I just wanted to get some drinks with them it does factor in
                                         
    
                                         but there was a couple
                                         
                                         where I'm like
                                         
                                         I think it factors in
                                         
                                         I think so too
                                         
                                         I just wanted to know
                                         
                                         if it was like
                                         
                                         and also I did some digging
                                         
                                         and some of them
                                         
    
                                         I can't get a
                                         
                                         an amazing read on
                                         
                                         just because I
                                         
                                         I don't know
                                         
                                         you don't really get
                                         
                                         you just gotta go out
                                         
                                         vibe dude
                                         
                                         you just gotta go
                                         
    
                                         how you feel about it
                                         
                                         alright
                                         
                                         I am
                                         
                                         I am
                                         
                                         question though
                                         
                                         happy hour can we only drink Question though, happy hour.
                                         
                                         Can we only drink with them during happy hour?
                                         
                                         Is it done?
                                         
    
                                         Is it four to seven?
                                         
                                         I was just trying to make a fun little
                                         
                                         name for it, but I think this is all nice.
                                         
                                         I think it starts at happy hour, but it doesn't need to
                                         
                                         end there.
                                         
                                         Unless you're a bad date.
                                         
                                         Unless you're a bad date.
                                         
                                         They might fucking ditch you
                                         
    
                                         nerd
                                         
                                         rarely do they say hey Sean happy hour's over
                                         
                                         and I'm like well rarely do I leave
                                         
                                         it's like oh well then I'll stick around for all the regular hours
                                         
                                         after that one
                                         
                                         cool
                                         
                                         the way we determine the order of this draft is through a
                                         
                                         rollicking game of rock paper scissors
                                         
    
                                         play between the three of you and we throw on shoot
                                         
                                         here we go
                                         
                                         rock paper scissors shoot scissors. Play between the three of you and we throw on shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors,
                                         
                                         shoot.
                                         
                                         David wins. A paper against two
                                         
                                         scissors. And a victory that flies
                                         
                                         in the face of God, but she
                                         
                                         won't mind.
                                         
    
                                         Thank you.
                                         
                                         David Borey, as the winner, it is incumbent upon
                                         
                                         you to determine the order of today's draft, but before you do
                                         
                                         that, I will remind you it is a serpentine draft.
                                         
                                         And what is that? Great question.
                                         
                                         It's kind of like Newton's cradle.
                                         
                                         Am I saying that right? Is that what that thing's
                                         
                                         called? The ball, like the seven
                                         
    
                                         balls, right?
                                         
                                         They're on people's desks at like the insurance
                                         
                                         company where you take one on the end. I didn't know that's how it
                                         
                                         was called. I looked
                                         
                                         up balls swinging on a desk
                                         
                                         and I was like, this is going to be an interesting answer.
                                         
                                         How far down? You did it on an interesting answer instagram and it really messed up his algorithm it was pretty close because i was like i'm gonna
                                         
                                         type this in and see what comes up and it was like the second response the first one wasn't even
                                         
    
                                         anything crazy but the second one was like those you know you take that one ball you drop it and
                                         
                                         all the energy goes through the four other ones and the other one kind of goes up and stalls and then comes back and uh i think it just goes
                                         
                                         i think it just goes i don't i think it goes until you stop it i don't think it like peters out but
                                         
                                         anyway just back no i think it peters does it stop yeah it is called a new cradle right it is indeed
                                         
                                         okay wayne newton see i thought it was Jacob's Ladder. No, wait,
                                         
                                         I was thinking of Jason's Lyric
                                         
                                         for a second.
                                         
                                         I was going to be like,
                                         
    
                                         no, that was a sexy movie.
                                         
                                         Are you talking about that
                                         
                                         softcore porn,
                                         
                                         Jacob's Ladder?
                                         
                                         Jason's Lyric, I am.
                                         
                                         Do you think that
                                         
                                         did make the rounds on the VCR?
                                         
                                         You're out of your mind.
                                         
    
                                         That is a softcore porn.
                                         
                                         That one was adult,
                                         
                                         where I was like,
                                         
                                         well, this isn't even fun.
                                         
                                         I'm not thinking about that stuff.
                                         
                                         Basically, what happens
                                         
                                         is you pick fourth
                                         
                                         in the first round,
                                         
    
                                         you pick first in the second round. with that and jason's lyric in mind
                                         
                                         what will the order of today's draft be david david adam sean in back on the hot corner
                                         
                                         wait a minute wait a minute uh david you have the first pick in the dead musician happy hour
                                         
                                         all fantasy everything fantasy draft before we get to that we're going to take a short break this episode of all fantasy everything is brought to you by
                                         
                                         babble uh if you want to learn a new language the best way is to uproot your entire life you drop
                                         
                                         everything you're doing just go to a brand new country you figure it out from there
                                         
                                         but this isn't the talented mr ripley all right you're not Jason Bourne. You can't do that.
                                         
                                         Two Damon movies.
                                         
    
                                         I'm out here.
                                         
                                         Obviously, you're not ready for that, but you still want to learn a new language because
                                         
                                         everyone in the world knows new languages.
                                         
                                         They know multiple languages, and we all only know one.
                                         
                                         Get it done with Babbel.
                                         
                                         Babbel is going to help you the quickest way possible.
                                         
                                         You speak like a whole new you when you got Babbel.
                                         
                                         It's science-backed language learning app, and it's going you got Babbel. It's a science-backed
                                         
    
                                         language learning app, and it's going to get you talking fast. It's science-backed. What else do
                                         
                                         you want? Wasting hundreds of dollars on private tutors. That's the old school way to learn a new
                                         
                                         language. Babbel, they have these 10-minute lessons. They're quick. They're handcrafted
                                         
                                         by over 200 language experts, and they're ready to get you talking in three weeks,
                                         
                                         ready to get you speaking a new language. I should say speaking a new language. You don't talk a language. Anyway,
                                         
                                         talking is the key to really knowing any language. You have to, you got to do it. You got to be
                                         
                                         saying it out loud. And Babbel, they have tools. They have tools on the app where you can speak
                                         
                                         the language. They'll help you with your accent. There's things where on the app,
                                         
    
                                         they will talk to you and then you can decipher what they said. It's all the real world applications that you're going to need to actually use it. Babbel's tips and tools,
                                         
                                         like I said, they're grounded in real life situations. Everything's focused on conversation.
                                         
                                         So you're going to be ready to talk everywhere you go because that's the key,
                                         
                                         conversation. You want to know how to get by. Right.
                                         
                                         And like I said,
                                         
                                         little 10 minute segments.
                                         
                                         They're perfect for say someone like myself,
                                         
                                         don't have a huge attention span,
                                         
    
                                         10 minutes in and out.
                                         
                                         Boom,
                                         
                                         you're done.
                                         
                                         And you know,
                                         
                                         don't just try a word for word studies from Yale,
                                         
                                         Michigan state university,
                                         
                                         shout out old ladies,
                                         
                                         alma mater and beyond.
                                         
    
                                         They prove the Babel works.
                                         
                                         One study found that using Babel for 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester at college, which come on,
                                         
                                         that's a no brainer right there. So give it a try. Honestly, get up in there.
                                         
                                         And here's a special limited time deal for our listeners. Right now you get up to 60%
                                         
                                         off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners at babbel.com slash all fantasy. Again,
                                         
                                         get up to 60% off at babbel.com slash all fantasy spelled B-A-B-B-E-L.com slash all fantasy. Again, get up to 60% off at babbel.com slash all fantasy
                                         
                                         spelled B-A-B-B-E-L.com slash all fantasy. Rules and restrictions may apply. This episode of All
                                         
                                         Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Policy Genius. Policy Genius, I'm going to hit you. We're
                                         
    
                                         going to talk about some life insurance stuff real quick. Now, 40% of people with life insurance
                                         
                                         wish they'd gotten their policy at a younger age.
                                         
                                         Of course you do. I wish I'd done everything at a younger age. That's neither here nor there.
                                         
                                         Policy Genius, essentially, it just helps you get the life insurance you need fast so you can get on
                                         
                                         with your life. With Policy Genius, you can find life insurance policies that start at just $292
                                         
                                         per year for $1 million of coverage. Some options offer same-day approval and avoid
                                         
                                         unnecessary medical exams. So I have life insurance. It had nothing to do with me. It's
                                         
                                         my wife did everything, but it's tough. It's a hassle to go through and get.
                                         
    
                                         You have to research it, which I don't like researching anything. If I buy something,
                                         
                                         I just go into the person that works at the store and say, what is right in the middle? What's not the best?
                                         
                                         What's not the worst? And that is how I do it. With life insurance, obviously, you want to be
                                         
                                         a little bit more careful about that. But how do I know where to start? You know what I mean? I
                                         
                                         have no idea what to do, where to look. Nobody does. And that's what Policy Genius does. They
                                         
                                         just go in, they find and compare all the best quotes for you. They just go to all the nation's top insurers, and then they give you your best
                                         
                                         options. They're just a few clicks, and then you're going to find your lowest price.
                                         
                                         And their expert license support team is your advocate. They work for you. They're not getting
                                         
    
                                         bonuses. They're not getting anything like that from certain insurance companies. They're not
                                         
                                         out there being smarmy. They just want to help you out. They're answering the questions, handling the
                                         
                                         paperwork, shaking the hands, kissing the babies. They're doing it all for you.
                                         
                                         And if you don't have life insurance, I know it sucks to talk about or to think about,
                                         
                                         but you're just going to stick people with the bill. You're going to stick your loved ones with
                                         
                                         the bill. Don't nobody want to do that. You know what I mean? Get covered. I don't want
                                         
                                         anyone inheriting my debt. And then they see what I spent money on probably. I don't need all that
                                         
                                         nonsense in my life. Get it covered. Get an insurance policy. Get it handled. And like I
                                         
    
                                         said, Policy Genius gives you unbiased advice from a licensed expert support team. They have
                                         
                                         thousands of five-star reviews on Google, Trustpilot from customers who've felt the benefits of their service.
                                         
                                         So get on it. Don't wait. Don't hesitate. Don't procrastinate. Oh, yeah, I got a song on Spotify
                                         
                                         as a rapper. That's neither here nor there. Don't put off life insurance. Make it easy with Policy
                                         
                                         Genius. Head to policygenius.com or click the link in the description to get your free life
                                         
                                         insurance quotes and see how much you could save. That's policygenius.com.
                                         
                                         And we're back.
                                         
                                         Welcome back to All Financier.
                                         
    
                                         The only podcast that ever existed,
                                         
                                         except of course.
                                         
                                         The Grawlix Saves the World.
                                         
                                         The aforementioned.
                                         
                                         Where we did 100 pushups for seven days in a row
                                         
                                         and I thought I was going to die.
                                         
                                         It was my idea when I did that
                                         
                                         and it was one of the hardest things I've done
                                         
    
                                         in the last 15 years,
                                         
                                         including having to do my pushup game. Ever since that episode, I haven't done 100 every last 15 years, including having a push-up game.
                                         
                                         Ever since that episode, I haven't done 100 every day, but I still do way more than I did.
                                         
                                         And people fear me now.
                                         
                                         That's true.
                                         
                                         It's harder than you think.
                                         
                                         I've seen them on the street before.
                                         
                                         They don't like it.
                                         
    
                                         You have a horrifying resting energy.
                                         
                                         Well, I ripped all the sleeves off my shirt with that resting energy.
                                         
                                         So I got the guns out, and then I just got this resting fucking fuck you face.
                                         
                                         You don't talk to me in Denver
                                         
                                         unless I ask you to.
                                         
                                         My fucking fuck you face.
                                         
                                         You wouldn't mind actually
                                         
                                         turning your camera off. I think it would make this podcast a lot easier.
                                         
    
                                         You got it, dudes.
                                         
                                         You got to have us back on soon. I would love to come back on.
                                         
                                         Oh, absolutely.
                                         
                                         Absolutely. Anytime. Anytime.
                                         
                                         Anytime.
                                         
                                         My challenge was a squatty potty challenge.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Wait, what's that challenge?
                                         
    
                                         Where you do a handstand on a squatty potty every day?
                                         
                                         We sent Ian a squatty potty in the mail as a surprise.
                                         
                                         He didn't know what the strange package was that he received. And then we received the same packages.
                                         
                                         And then for a week, all of us tried a squatty potty.
                                         
                                         And we reported our results back. You guys don't squat? You guys tried to squatty potty and we reported our results back.
                                         
                                         You guys didn't squatty potty?
                                         
                                         Not prior to this.
                                         
                                         Oh, yeah. I was
                                         
    
                                         early adopter. Yeah, it's pretty legit.
                                         
                                         It's pretty fun.
                                         
                                         Have you got a nice one now? The problem
                                         
                                         I had was it was white and plastic and shitty
                                         
                                         and it just makes your bathroom look
                                         
                                         junky.
                                         
                                         Yeah, you get a wood one.
                                         
                                         That's the way it is. We ended up getting rid of all of them and now I'm taking and it just makes your bathroom look junky. Yeah, you get a wood one.
                                         
    
                                         We ended up getting rid of all of them and now I'm taking low def shits
                                         
                                         again.
                                         
                                         You're not clearing the pipes? You stopped
                                         
                                         flushing, huh? I don't know.
                                         
                                         It just aesthetically
                                         
                                         wasn't working.
                                         
                                         The white ones look bad
                                         
                                         though. They have like colored ones and wood
                                         
    
                                         ones. Yeah. Because I also have wood uh whatever that's not it's interesting when it's like the middle
                                         
                                         of the day and you know the squatty potty is like somewhere and then you know your partner goes to
                                         
                                         the bathroom then you go in and you're like oh the squatty potty is there so they're just talking
                                         
                                         like you just know it and that's interesting to know i'm not saying it's bad to poop but it's you
                                         
                                         know you just know like that you can't help it sometimes. We're like, okay, so you just pooped.
                                         
                                         All right, cool.
                                         
                                         So she wasn't putting a checkmark
                                         
                                         on the chart you have on the wall?
                                         
    
                                         I got my wife checking it out.
                                         
                                         I'd come out and be like, Lori, you ain't
                                         
                                         got no stickers up there.
                                         
                                         You gotta take a dump.
                                         
                                         I'm full of stickers on the chart. Do you want your
                                         
                                         treat at the end of the week or not? How do I know if you don't have
                                         
                                         seven of these? I'm going to eat all the gummies if you don't start shitting in there.
                                         
                                         This is crazy.
                                         
    
                                         If you want the land before time on VHS, you're going to earn it.
                                         
                                         Laura, if we want to watch the movie, we both have to shit three times in this week.
                                         
                                         You know how this works.
                                         
                                         You married me.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         It was in the vows.
                                         
                                         I wish.
                                         
                                         You wish?
                                         
    
                                         Do you wish?
                                         
                                         I do wish.
                                         
                                         One last thing. Wish granted wish one last thing I would like it if we keep
                                         
                                         tabs on each other's bowel movements from here on out
                                         
                                         and reward each other with
                                         
                                         VHS cassettes at the end of each week
                                         
                                         should we reach our goal
                                         
                                         I never did it as a kid and I said
                                         
    
                                         even when I was a child I said I'm not gonna
                                         
                                         make my kid go through that
                                         
                                         or me or my wife.
                                         
                                         Oh, oh, buddy.
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
                                         I mean, I'll talk to you.
                                         
                                         I'll talk to you when the time is right.
                                         
                                         It's definitely something that you keep tabs on.
                                         
    
                                         I plan on having that kind of thing for my kids.
                                         
                                         Should that happen?
                                         
                                         Oh, I thought you just said that you didn't want my wife.
                                         
                                         Oh, well, no.
                                         
                                         Wait, what are we talking about?
                                         
                                         We're talking about you wanting to make a chart where your wife logs for shits.
                                         
                                         Oh, no. God, no, I don't want to do that.
                                         
                                         Was that not clear?
                                         
    
                                         No.
                                         
                                         That's exactly what you were saying.
                                         
                                         I got lost in the forest a while ago.
                                         
                                         I thought we were on the same roof, too.
                                         
                                         I think we all were.
                                         
                                         That's why everybody was like,
                                         
                                         what are you talking about?
                                         
                                         Well, we were, but then it got serious.
                                         
    
                                         No, I don't actually want to do that.
                                         
                                         I'm in the forest.
                                         
                                         I feel like somebody needs to hit the reset. I don't know. I don't know what to do that. I'm in the forest. I feel like somebody needs to hit the reset.
                                         
                                         I don't know what's going on.
                                         
                                         It's time for David to pick which
                                         
                                         deceased musician he would like to get hammered
                                         
                                         with.
                                         
                                         I'm sweating.
                                         
    
                                         You're on a list now, bro.
                                         
                                         Shitlist.
                                         
                                         You're on my shitlist.
                                         
                                         That's the birth name.
                                         
                                         It's the shitlist.
                                         
                                         David Boyd, time for your first pick uh do we get to pick a time period for this or is it just now
                                         
                                         i think paint a picture baby okay so this artist used to do concerts solely for women
                                         
                                         in the early 70s so i'm picking after one of those with his manager
                                         
    
                                         Shep Gordon in him, like the
                                         
                                         after party for one of his women's
                                         
                                         only concerts. A notorious
                                         
                                         party animal before the car accident.
                                         
                                         I'm taking Teddy Pendergrass.
                                         
                                         Just we would all
                                         
                                         be in furs. It was
                                         
                                         a different time, so we would straight up be
                                         
    
                                         doing cocaine.
                                         
                                         Yeah. Drunk. With a bunch of 70s ladies
                                         
                                         i think it would be amazing he was known for partying and if you watch that supermensch
                                         
                                         documentary his the way he signed with shep gordon because shep gordon came up to him he's like i
                                         
                                         have more drugs than you i have more women than you i can out party you and at the end of the
                                         
                                         party i'll be calling a cab for
                                         
                                         you or whatever and then they partied for like three days hi that's how he signed him yeah that's
                                         
                                         how he signed him fuck yeah so come on man and teddy pendergrass if you see him when he was young
                                         
    
                                         it's just i'm gonna have a cool sexy guy party dude you know what i'm saying cool in the 70s
                                         
                                         there's about the sexiest guy at the sexy guy party. Nobody was
                                         
                                         sexier. I'll say that.
                                         
                                         Who's sexier than Teddy Pendergrass? It's about
                                         
                                         as hot as a dude can get.
                                         
                                         He was real fucking hot. I just
                                         
                                         Google him and him. He's very hot. That's a good
                                         
                                         looking man. And cool as
                                         
    
                                         fuck and soulful 70s.
                                         
                                         Oh man, the voice was so...
                                         
                                         And it seems like the kind of party where it would be
                                         
                                         cool to be sweaty.
                                         
                                         And I need that.
                                         
                                         Yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                         You know what I'm saying?
                                         
                                         Like everybody's sweaty in a cool way.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                         And the headline here saying Tyrese was set to star as R&B singer Teddy Pendergrass in a biopic.
                                         
                                         That is hilarious.
                                         
                                         I don't...
                                         
                                         It's from 2019.
                                         
                                         Oh, and then COVID wrecked it for him.
                                         
                                         Yeah, he's since made some moves
                                         
                                         that maybe are irredeemable.
                                         
    
                                         But the point is, yeah, man,
                                         
                                         Teddy Bennegrass would all be in furs,
                                         
                                         would all be sweaty doing 70s drugs.
                                         
                                         I'd have lots of chains on.
                                         
                                         My hair would be processed.
                                         
                                         After an all-lady concert?
                                         
                                         Yeah, I'd be doing this dance.
                                         
                                         First of all, that's insane.
                                         
    
                                         He did all lady concerts
                                         
                                         just straight up. Would he then go
                                         
                                         tour back around and be like, alright, men can come
                                         
                                         this time. Of course not.
                                         
                                         Is that what you want to go to?
                                         
                                         An all dude R&B show?
                                         
                                         Listen, it's not my pick yet.
                                         
                                         You'll find out.
                                         
    
                                         Excuse me. Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.
                                         
                                         If he did too short,
                                         
                                         it's fun for the ladies.
                                         
                                         I want to go to an all-dude party
                                         
                                         with Dave Matthews,
                                         
                                         who isn't dead yet.
                                         
                                         It's in the future.
                                         
                                         Whatever Dave Matthews is dead.
                                         
    
                                         Adam's waiting for Tank to die
                                         
                                         so he can draft an all-dude
                                         
                                         Tank concert.
                                         
                                         It's like, I love scat, man.
                                         
                                         And no girls to bring us down.
                                         
                                         We can just do what we want to do.
                                         
                                         No, you just dance exactly how you want to dance.
                                         
                                         Just a bunch of sweaty, wet, coked up dudes listening to Teddy Pendergrass.
                                         
    
                                         There are musicians where you could ban women and none of the women would know that it was happening.
                                         
                                         You know what I mean?
                                         
                                         Neither were the dudes.
                                         
                                         Yeah, like a saliva concert or something.
                                         
                                         When we went to Las Vegas, there were definitely sections of women who were not into it. You know what I mean? Neither were the dudes. Yeah, like a saliva concert or something.
                                         
                                         When we went to Las Vegas, there were definitely sections of women who were not into it.
                                         
                                         Like, I remember by the end of that concert, there was like dudes sitting up and women whose feet were tired sitting down.
                                         
                                         And the dude is just like crying to Big Pimpin.
                                         
    
                                         Sitting there like, man, he's not Drake.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Not at all.
                                         
                                         Not at all.
                                         
                                         But yeah,
                                         
                                         Teddy Pendergrass,
                                         
                                         a cool 70s bacchanal.
                                         
    
                                         Wonderful pick.
                                         
                                         Adam Cadenholland,
                                         
                                         time for your all dude
                                         
                                         concert pick.
                                         
                                         Teddy Pendergrass
                                         
                                         when he circles back around
                                         
                                         six months later
                                         
                                         is for the dudes.
                                         
    
                                         Teddy had a market twice.
                                         
                                         Teddy had a market twice. That've had to hit a market twice.
                                         
                                         That's just good business.
                                         
                                         You know, I couldn't come the last time he was in Cleveland,
                                         
                                         but the dogs are out tonight.
                                         
                                         A lot of fights at the Pendergrass show tonight.
                                         
                                         Oh, yeah.
                                         
                                         Everybody's swinging at the Pendergrass show tonight.
                                         
    
                                         Bro, I'm here to see Teddy, not to throw hands, but I'll do it.
                                         
                                         I mean, I'm just saying
                                         
                                         who's opening up the pit to
                                         
                                         close the door
                                         
                                         oh that's such a close
                                         
                                         the door
                                         
                                         that's such a weird image
                                         
                                         that's fucking great
                                         
    
                                         oh man
                                         
                                         oh man mine's not
                                         
                                         not as soulful as that
                                         
                                         but definitely more thug
                                         
                                         passion than that.
                                         
                                         I'm going Tupac.
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
                                         First pick.
                                         
    
                                         He was absolutely.
                                         
                                         I feel like, yeah, I think a lot of us may have taken that.
                                         
                                         But fuck, man.
                                         
                                         It's just like golden era of hip hop.
                                         
                                         It's Tupac.
                                         
                                         What I like about it is that you know it's going to start really, really fun.
                                         
                                         And you don't know where it's going to go after that.
                                         
                                         In a lot of ways.
                                         
    
                                         The volatility of Tupac.
                                         
                                         The anger of Tupac.
                                         
                                         It's like I want to see where this fucking night goes.
                                         
                                         It also could be with anybody.
                                         
                                         That's what I was going to say.
                                         
                                         My main benefit was going to be like, you don't know.
                                         
                                         Chris Farley could pop in.
                                         
                                         Who knows?
                                         
    
                                         100%.
                                         
                                         Janet Jackson could have showed up.
                                         
                                         What if Suge pops in? What's their relationship in the fucking moment? 100%. Janet Jackson could have showed up.
                                         
                                         What's their relationship in the fucking moment?
                                         
                                         You know what I mean?
                                         
                                         Yeah, that's exciting.
                                         
                                         Snoop would have been in there. I was thinking about this pics, and I was thinking about Hit Em Up.
                                         
                                         And at the end of the song, Hit Em Up, when he starts losing his fucking mind on that track.
                                         
    
                                         And at the very beginning of it, he's just kind of making fun of Mobb Deep.
                                         
                                         When he drops in, he's like, Mobb, you little young-ass motherfucker. No one wants you to have sickle cell or some shit? He did. It's very funny. Cl making fun of Mob Deep when he like drops and he's like you little young ass motherfuckers
                                         
                                         you have sickle cell or some shit
                                         
                                         clowning Mob Deep
                                         
                                         and then by the end of that
                                         
                                         he's just like
                                         
                                         fuck you die slow it just gets so
                                         
                                         ramped up that I
                                         
    
                                         feel like a night with Tupac would be like
                                         
                                         that bar on Hit Em Up
                                         
                                         you know the thing about the Tupac though
                                         
                                         I feel like it could also go the
                                         
                                         other side, and you didn't even
                                         
                                         realize it, and now you're at a sweet jazz
                                         
                                         club. It could. Sure. Yeah.
                                         
                                         I feel like it could go
                                         
    
                                         either way, or he goes to a slam poetry
                                         
                                         reading. He wasn't like that.
                                         
                                         He was more like that than
                                         
                                         he was the gangster version, like the
                                         
                                         actual him. It kind of depends on when...
                                         
                                         I don't know. I don't view that. It kind of depends on when you caught him.
                                         
                                         He was doing both.
                                         
                                         Yeah, and there's no doubt he's a renaissance,
                                         
    
                                         sophisticated dude with interesting tastes,
                                         
                                         like a smart, smart guy.
                                         
                                         So I see what you're saying.
                                         
                                         It could go any which way.
                                         
                                         But you want fuck your bitch in the clique you claim.
                                         
                                         I do. I fucking do.
                                         
                                         And I want 40s, and I want the sort of iconic fucking Tupac.
                                         
                                         I want that. I want a dangerous
                                         
    
                                         experience. I don't want the affiliates.
                                         
                                         You want Tupac.
                                         
                                         You don't want anyone else
                                         
                                         on Death Row.
                                         
                                         I don't want Suge.
                                         
                                         I don't want Suge.
                                         
                                         You don't want Mussolini and
                                         
                                         Gaddafi there? You don't want all the
                                         
    
                                         outlaws with you? Thug Life Immortals?
                                         
                                         Maybe the guy who raps like a 1940s gangster.
                                         
                                         That guy can be there.
                                         
                                         I got to get that Vagaband here.
                                         
                                         Formula A to K for it.
                                         
                                         That guy?
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         I want that guy around because when we go to Jack in the Box
                                         
    
                                         at 2 p.m., I want that guy.
                                         
                                         Let me get a little bit of egg roll.
                                         
                                         Let me get a chicken sandwich at Tom Hads a chicken sandwich yeah you sit him back driver's seat
                                         
                                         and he orders for the whole car
                                         
                                         orders run through him
                                         
                                         jalapeno poppers in a big jack
                                         
                                         and then I want it all for free too
                                         
                                         give it to me at the window
                                         
    
                                         are there guys like that?
                                         
                                         It's like almost the way that Marvel was like back in the golden era was just running out
                                         
                                         weird mutants where it's like this guy turns into an eraser, you know, like where there's
                                         
                                         rappers where they're like, yeah, his whole thing is he raps like a 1930s villain.
                                         
                                         There was a guy who just talked about fire.
                                         
                                         That's crazy.
                                         
                                         Drag On?
                                         
                                         Jidenna rapped about being classic all the time. I mean, he had that song, Classic
                                         
    
                                         Man, but he rapped about it, too.
                                         
                                         He didn't just sing about it.
                                         
                                         Drake hopped on that one guy's song
                                         
                                         who rapped all weird.
                                         
                                         He was like, huh? What?
                                         
                                         Black Boy JB?
                                         
                                         Drake hopped on a lot of guys' songs who are no longer here.
                                         
                                         And I have no conspiracy about it.
                                         
    
                                         You know, somebody sent me a message the other day.
                                         
                                         Shout out to Pain in the Ass.
                                         
                                         I forgot about that guy.
                                         
                                         I forgot about the...
                                         
                                         I feel like we talk about him more than any other outlet.
                                         
                                         I think we do, but it's been a while.
                                         
                                         I believe that.
                                         
                                         I don't think anybody needs...
                                         
    
                                         I don't think he needs to come up.
                                         
                                         I never painted the ass.
                                         
                                         Smiley is the guy's name.
                                         
                                         That's on Over the Top.
                                         
                                         There's this dude, Smiley, who raps real weird.
                                         
                                         Anyway.
                                         
                                         There's one other element of Tupac I want to introduce to this
                                         
                                         whole challenge, which is that
                                         
    
                                         the mysterious death, the mystery
                                         
                                         around the death. So like in this scenario,
                                         
                                         in this draft, I wonder if you can talk to
                                         
                                         these people about the death a little bit.
                                         
                                         You know what I mean? Oh, Ghostpac.
                                         
                                         Well, I mean, it's pretty much been
                                         
                                         solved. Yeah, what's
                                         
                                         the deal? That guy Keefy D did it.
                                         
    
                                         He came out and, yeah, it's like...
                                         
                                         The guy they thought did it, right?
                                         
                                         I mean, for years. Isn't that...
                                         
                                         He's also been saying he did it.
                                         
                                         For years and years and years.
                                         
                                         But then they finally just, they were like,
                                         
                                         okay, so you're done.
                                         
                                         I forgot to tell you guys this.
                                         
    
                                         I thought
                                         
                                         insane, I sort of
                                         
                                         diffused an insane road rage incident
                                         
                                         today. Today?
                                         
                                         Today, before the podcast.
                                         
                                         These two cars were like
                                         
                                         so I saw them
                                         
                                         one stop behind the other and this guy got out
                                         
    
                                         and walked up to the car in front and then got back
                                         
                                         in his car. No, that's always scary.
                                         
                                         And then they were driving and then they like
                                         
                                         turned into my neighborhood down the street
                                         
                                         I turned down and I turned in behind them
                                         
                                         and then they both stopped in the middle of the road
                                         
                                         and one dude hopped out of the back car with a
                                         
                                         fucking machete. Whoa. No way. A machete and one dude hopped out of the back car with a fucking machete.
                                         
    
                                         Whoa.
                                         
                                         No way.
                                         
                                         A machete.
                                         
                                         And the dude hopped out of the front car with like a pipe.
                                         
                                         Oh.
                                         
                                         And you didn't just drive around?
                                         
                                         God bless you. I couldn't get by him, but I was far enough back that I hopped out where I was like, I can get back in my car if I need to.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
    
                                         And I was just like,
                                         
                                         wherever this is going.
                                         
                                         I rapped, we're all in the same gang.
                                         
                                         I got two tickets to Teddy Pendergrass tonight at the forum.
                                         
                                         If you guys want to calm down.
                                         
                                         They were like, I was just like, not worth it.
                                         
                                         Not worth it.
                                         
                                         Where you guys are taking this?
                                         
    
                                         You're like, you don't want to ruin your day.
                                         
                                         And then the one dude got back in his car and the other guy was still standing there with a machete and I'm like he's not worth
                                         
                                         it man don't let that guy ruin your day
                                         
                                         there's no way this is going
                                         
                                         no way
                                         
                                         think I had two hours where is
                                         
                                         this going to be in two hours like what are you going to be
                                         
                                         the happiest happen
                                         
    
                                         and then he ended up being like you know he calmed down
                                         
                                         he put his machete away and then came to talk to me
                                         
                                         and he was a
                                         
                                         nice guy is not the right word but nice enough
                                         
                                         he came and I think he came to
                                         
                                         thank me for kind of like
                                         
                                         yeah but dude it was fucking
                                         
                                         nuts this is the third time
                                         
    
                                         this has happened a day
                                         
                                         I keep trying around
                                         
                                         I lose my head
                                         
                                         like maybe get rid of the machete
                                         
                                         man Jesus Christ at the stoplight the I keep driving around. I lose my head. Like maybe get rid of the machete, man.
                                         
                                         Jesus Christ.
                                         
                                         At the stoplight, the demeanor was probably,
                                         
                                         they got out and like, do you want to pull over?
                                         
    
                                         I have a weapon.
                                         
                                         Do you have a, it's almost like they figured it out.
                                         
                                         Like let's get out and handle it with weapons.
                                         
                                         Like the jets and the sharks or something.
                                         
                                         Ian's neighborhood's always nice for this.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Pull the Ian's.
                                         
                                         He'll be on Bill's lane.
                                         
    
                                         He'll keep this from going too far.
                                         
                                         But afterwards, the guy with the machete said some crazy shit like,
                                         
                                         nothing to live for, ready to die.
                                         
                                         He said that to me?
                                         
                                         Yeah, he said that to me.
                                         
                                         That's not good.
                                         
                                         No.
                                         
                                         That's not good.
                                         
    
                                         That's tough.
                                         
                                         He looked like he kind of, I mean, my neighborhood has recently become,
                                         
                                         you know, gentrified.
                                         
                                         But surrounding areas and my neighborhood itself have a long history
                                         
                                         of not being that way. And I think this
                                         
                                         guy was a throwback to that era.
                                         
                                         I mean, he had a catchphrase.
                                         
                                         That guy had a machete and a catchphrase.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Watch out. In his work truck.
                                         
                                         That's... Anyway.
                                         
                                         It's got the company on it, bro. You can't be that hard
                                         
                                         to find. Hey, who's the guy with the machete?
                                         
                                         Ian, good job. Good job, bro. You can't be that hard to find. Hey, who's the guy with the machete?
                                         
                                         Good job. Good job, dude.
                                         
                                         Thank you. You really...
                                         
    
                                         Those guys could have fucked up their lives right then.
                                         
                                         Sounds like they might do it tomorrow.
                                         
                                         They might meet up again.
                                         
                                         But yeah, you're like, dude, you're going to fucking machete a guy?
                                         
                                         Or beat another dude with a pipe? For what?
                                         
                                         A yellow light?
                                         
                                         Anyway.
                                         
                                         Who's in the wrong?
                                         
    
                                         That part I couldn't see
                                         
                                         yeah you relate to the late to the fight you may have just driven onto the set of double
                                         
                                         dragon the movie they may have just been filming a double dragon scene there were a lot of cameras
                                         
                                         and uh a man who did appear to be jan de bont wasond was furious with me. Oh, sure. I recognized him and I was like, well, I didn't know he lived in the neighborhood, but fun to see.
                                         
                                         Sean Jordan, time for your first pick.
                                         
                                         I think I got to go Prince.
                                         
                                         Oh, interesting.
                                         
                                         I think it's a.
                                         
    
                                         Prince never drank.
                                         
                                         Yeah, he was a Jehovah's Witness.
                                         
                                         I looked it up.
                                         
                                         It said he used to party.
                                         
                                         That's what I was asking.
                                         
                                         I mean, I heard he's through parties Harper said he went to
                                         
                                         he used to drink and do drugs
                                         
                                         that's the whole
                                         
    
                                         reason I asked because I didn't think so either
                                         
                                         and then I looked it up because it's like who wouldn't want to hang out with Prince
                                         
                                         and so I don't know what
                                         
                                         capacity he would do it in
                                         
                                         but if he was even having a
                                         
                                         drink then I you know
                                         
                                         then I get to say that I'm hanging out with him I mean it just seemed
                                         
                                         I don't know every story I've seen cause I was doing my research on this.
                                         
    
                                         It was like, he would drink minimally. He did drugs, but he would have like a glass of wine
                                         
                                         at a club. Maybe that's fine. I mean, that's all I need, but I get to be around it. And so when I
                                         
                                         was a kid, we went to, um, Paisley park. My mom made my, I told you, my mom made my stepdad drive
                                         
                                         us up to the gate and try to get into his...
                                         
                                         It's crazy to think about because we went and
                                         
                                         buzzed the buzzer. He felt violently ill
                                         
                                         after a few drinks.
                                         
                                         Well, that's him. If he's just having
                                         
    
                                         the one. I'm just being
                                         
                                         around the environment. I just think it would be
                                         
                                         so funny. He's probably fun.
                                         
                                         You ask him what he really thought about Morris Day
                                         
                                         and the time. Once he passes
                                         
                                         out, you can week into Bernie's Prince
                                         
                                         all around town. That's kind of fun.
                                         
                                         What door doesn't open
                                         
    
                                         in that situation?
                                         
                                         I was thinking private party style.
                                         
                                         Prince in.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         It was an interesting one.
                                         
                                         I honestly thought he maybe drank a little bit more.
                                         
                                         But just being in the party,
                                         
                                         being in the party environment, being at his house,
                                         
    
                                         like being,
                                         
                                         I mean,
                                         
                                         after like you hear the story about like Eddie Murphy and shit,
                                         
                                         what?
                                         
                                         I can't pick him.
                                         
                                         You can pick them.
                                         
                                         I just saying this guy didn't drink.
                                         
                                         It's a weird pick.
                                         
    
                                         You also hear stories about Prince though,
                                         
                                         going into like some small club in Minneapolis.
                                         
                                         Cause he's bored or whatever.
                                         
                                         And just be like,
                                         
                                         I'll just get on stage and shred with these dudes tonight.
                                         
                                         Like, or just dropping in on like Radiohead when they're in Minneapolis.
                                         
                                         Like, I'm coming on for a song.
                                         
                                         That'd be amazing to roll with Prince through that.
                                         
    
                                         I guess if Prince is your designated driver, that's pretty fun.
                                         
                                         Well, no, I thought he drank more.
                                         
                                         I didn't know it was going to be this controversial.
                                         
                                         I thought he was more of a party.
                                         
                                         I mean, I did.
                                         
                                         I thought I did. I thought I did.
                                         
                                         I looked into it enough.
                                         
                                         I didn't realize it.
                                         
    
                                         I didn't,
                                         
                                         I didn't see that if he had like a glass of wine,
                                         
                                         he got violent.
                                         
                                         Every source I'm seeing is this,
                                         
                                         that like he would sometimes he hated scotch.
                                         
                                         He never drank beer.
                                         
                                         He would sometimes have a glass of red wine,
                                         
                                         but he loved pills.
                                         
    
                                         Well,
                                         
                                         I can switch it up.
                                         
                                         I don't want to do pills.
                                         
                                         It's your thing. I can switch it. I can switch it up. I don't want to do pills with someone all night. It's your thing.
                                         
                                         You want to do pills with Prince all night? I can switch it.
                                         
                                         I can switch it. All right. Shall I switch it?
                                         
                                         No, no, no, no, no. We can take him off the board.
                                         
                                         I don't want to be the person who bullied you off the block.
                                         
    
                                         I'm just saying, let's have all the information
                                         
                                         out there. I just think
                                         
                                         it'd be fun to hang out with Prince. I don't think I'm splitting the
                                         
                                         item by bringing that up. I feel like everybody would want
                                         
                                         to hang out with Prince. So I suppose I'll do
                                         
                                         the bulk of the drinking on that. Great. So we're doing the musicians who would everybody would want to hang out with Prince. So I suppose I'll do the bulk of the drinking on that.
                                         
                                         Great. So we're doing the musicians
                                         
                                         who would have been fun to hang out with draft. Great.
                                         
    
                                         If you're going to do this the whole
                                         
                                         time, I will switch it. I will.
                                         
                                         What are you talking about? What are you talking? You made your pick.
                                         
                                         All right. Okay. We'll do it the whole time.
                                         
                                         I will. I'll put some. I'll put some lunatics
                                         
                                         on for the other four.
                                         
                                         It would
                                         
                                         have been. It would have been really fun to go out for a night with Prince.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         You end up at the SNL after party and that's like the beginning of your night.
                                         
                                         Well, even like in the
                                         
                                         new... Yeah, his happy hour is 1am.
                                         
                                         That's when the happy hour starts at 1am
                                         
                                         with Prince. Yeah. In the We Are The World
                                         
                                         documentary, they said he wouldn't show up because he was out at the
                                         
                                         bar all night. I guess I just assumed he was like
                                         
    
                                         out kind of partying, not just chilling.
                                         
                                         You remember they said they were trying to call him like at the bar he was at and that's why they had
                                         
                                         sheila either like she was again uh for the we are the world the night that they were recording it
                                         
                                         they had sheila either like as bait almost you found out later because they're like hey we don't
                                         
                                         have a verse for your line for you we just kind of thought you were gonna get prince here we thought
                                         
                                         he would come they hope prince would show up yeah. I guess he was just at some bar all night being like, nope, nope.
                                         
                                         And then he actually didn't show up.
                                         
                                         So I kind of assumed he was partying.
                                         
    
                                         But I would have been right there next to him, hanging up the phone, kidding.
                                         
                                         Be like, whoa, no one's going to drink this wine.
                                         
                                         I'll drink the whole bottle.
                                         
                                         What do we do?
                                         
                                         I'll pour it on the phone.
                                         
                                         You're never going anywhere tonight, Prince.
                                         
                                         Unless we go to an SNL after party.
                                         
                                         A couple of Midwestern boys getting after in the big city.
                                         
    
                                         All right.
                                         
                                         That had a lot to do with it, too.
                                         
                                         It's funny thinking that me and Prince are both Midwestern boys.
                                         
                                         A couple of flyovers.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I see the similarities.
                                         
                                         A lot of people do.
                                         
                                         Time for my first pick.
                                         
                                         I'm going to...
                                         
    
                                         Ideally, this has happened in Las Vegas.
                                         
                                         Late 50s, early 60s. i know where this is going of a gun
                                         
                                         and i'm not i don't want the chairman go ahead and give me dean martin
                                         
                                         oh the funny one baby yeah and he was he was the drinker too right like he was the one that didn't
                                         
                                         drink a lot i mean that's why that's was he the one that i thought he was the one that did oh i'm
                                         
                                         just confused no he's the one that did. Oh, I'm just confused.
                                         
                                         No, he's the one that I mean, they all drink a lot.
                                         
                                         They all kind of fake drunk on stage.
                                         
    
                                         But like Dean Martin notoriously didn't drink a lot.
                                         
                                         He drank.
                                         
                                         He drank a lot.
                                         
                                         He didn't drink on stage.
                                         
                                         Well, none of them really drank.
                                         
                                         He's not an alcoholic, though.
                                         
                                         Yeah, he drank.
                                         
                                         He would he would have drinks.
                                         
    
                                         He would go out.
                                         
                                         But he was not like a fall over drunk like the rest of them.
                                         
                                         And that's why I think it would be the most fun.
                                         
                                         It'd be a fun night.
                                         
                                         Martin.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         He's also the funniest.
                                         
                                         He's like standup,
                                         
    
                                         but Jason,
                                         
                                         I mean,
                                         
                                         he would do standup shows.
                                         
                                         He's a fucking and,
                                         
                                         and very cool.
                                         
                                         It's,
                                         
                                         it's rare to pull off like funny and cool.
                                         
                                         And I think that guy is,
                                         
    
                                         is both of them to a T like you don't get cool.
                                         
                                         Dean Martin,
                                         
                                         man.
                                         
                                         That's a great i'm
                                         
                                         jealous that choice yeah it would be it would be a black martin and lewis man he knew how to have a
                                         
                                         laugh he was fun he was charming yeah he was i watched the holiday special with him and his
                                         
                                         daughter and you know another another person who might get named later but they had that holiday
                                         
                                         special together and it was great i watched. I've never really seen him do anything until just this last year.
                                         
    
                                         I watched that whole thing.
                                         
                                         It ruled.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         He's,
                                         
                                         he's fantastic.
                                         
                                         He's a,
                                         
                                         he's a,
                                         
                                         a handsome gentleman wearing a suit.
                                         
    
                                         Oh,
                                         
                                         again,
                                         
                                         a,
                                         
                                         every door opens.
                                         
                                         You bow tie in it.
                                         
                                         You like undone bow tie in it with them.
                                         
                                         I'm getting,
                                         
                                         I'm going all the way.
                                         
    
                                         I might do,
                                         
                                         I might do like maybe a no tie situation,
                                         
                                         you know what I mean?
                                         
                                         Like with a double-breasted suit kind of thing.
                                         
                                         Because I don't want to step on his tuxedo corner.
                                         
                                         I'm not in a rat pack.
                                         
                                         I'm just hanging out.
                                         
                                         I'm back there with Joey Bishop just being like,
                                         
    
                                         how the hell did we get here?
                                         
                                         What are we doing here?
                                         
                                         This is nuts.
                                         
                                         What are we doing here?
                                         
                                         What are you, me, and Peter Lawford doing here?
                                         
                                         Look at that.
                                         
                                         Sammy Davis Jr. just took his eye out and polished it.
                                         
                                         This is amazing.
                                         
    
                                         Fucking awesome.
                                         
                                         Do you ever drink apple juice?
                                         
                                         It's a deep cut, but Kiss Me Stupid.
                                         
                                         It's like a Billy Wilder film with Dean Martin in it.
                                         
                                         It's so good, dude.
                                         
                                         He plays a Vegas.
                                         
                                         He plays himself.
                                         
                                         He plays like a Vegas singer songwriter trying
                                         
    
                                         to drive to LA. His car breaks down and he has to like pull over and climax Nevada,
                                         
                                         which is the name of the town. And it's just like this really small American town.
                                         
                                         And he goes into the house of like the piano teacher in town. And basically his wife falls
                                         
                                         for him. And he just like takes this dude's wife and it winds up being okay like she's happier and the piano
                                         
                                         teacher wants this other woman but it's basically
                                         
                                         like Dino comes to town and just
                                         
                                         steals this dude's wife and takes
                                         
                                         her to Hollywood it's fucking amazing
                                         
    
                                         it's amazing
                                         
                                         good flick I gotta watch that what's it called
                                         
                                         it's called Kiss Me Stupid it's a
                                         
                                         Billy Wilder film and you watch it and you're like
                                         
                                         I cannot believe this came out in 1960 whatever
                                         
                                         because it's wild the shit they're getting away with
                                         
                                         love it
                                         
                                         hell yeah Dean Martin first pick
                                         
    
                                         not a crazy drunk
                                         
                                         this is just sitting having a couple
                                         
                                         drinks chilling out
                                         
                                         yeah I didn't really pick a crazy drunk either
                                         
                                         so I like where you're going it's fun that
                                         
                                         you know just kind of a mellow
                                         
                                         you know my guy barely drank at all actually if you dive into him i got one glass
                                         
                                         now i'm gonna take somebody who got fucking after it with my second pick i'm taking freddie mercury
                                         
    
                                         he's still on the board that's such a good pick a man who could party a man who was known for
                                         
                                         throwing insane parties at his house with just alcohol, staying up until nine in the morning, straight through crew
                                         
                                         kind of guy. I feel like he would sit at the piano and sing like, and I'm not close to him
                                         
                                         in this situation. I feel like it would have been really hard to be close to Freddie Mercury,
                                         
                                         but I'm here for one night only. You know, I'm just getting it after it for one night only.
                                         
                                         Freddie Mercury, consummate entertainer, both of us getting drunk,
                                         
                                         both of us in tank tops at the end of the night,
                                         
                                         mustaches, you know.
                                         
    
                                         He realizes we kind of look the same.
                                         
                                         He gives me some of the clothes.
                                         
                                         Maybe that's how you guys even hit it off.
                                         
                                         Maybe that's how we hit it off.
                                         
                                         He thinks, am I looking in a fatter mirror right now?
                                         
                                         He says that, and I'm like, oh, Freddie.
                                         
                                         And then we hit it off from there.
                                         
                                         Oh, it's like a fun house.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, and then we do cocaine off that mirror.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Maybe he takes you upstairs.
                                         
                                         He puts you in one of his outfits and he's like, be me for an hour.
                                         
                                         I need a fucking break.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         You gotta go Freddie Mercury.
                                         
                                         You get a cosplay for that.
                                         
    
                                         For a little bit.
                                         
                                         Freeing around the party.
                                         
                                         It'd be great.
                                         
                                         Like that episode of Party Down.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Totally.
                                         
                                         Totally.
                                         
    
                                         Calls you darling a bunch.
                                         
                                         It would be fun.
                                         
                                         I bet.
                                         
                                         I bet we would drink chartreuse or something weird like that at first. And then we move on to the harder stuff. Totally. Calls you darling a bunch. It would be fun. I bet. I bet we would drink chartreuse or something weird like that at first.
                                         
                                         And then we move on to the harder stuff.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         What is chartreuse?
                                         
    
                                         It spills out into the pool for sure.
                                         
                                         That's a veranda.
                                         
                                         That's a pool.
                                         
                                         Oh, yeah.
                                         
                                         That's a whole mansion situation.
                                         
                                         You're in the water.
                                         
                                         What is chartreuse?
                                         
                                         It's like a digestif or an aperitif, whichever one of those two things.
                                         
    
                                         I don't think I've ever had either one of those, a digestif or an aperitif.
                                         
                                         Is Malort one of them?
                                         
                                         I say digestif.
                                         
                                         And I just want to...
                                         
                                         I feel a lot of listeners are like, it's not di,
                                         
                                         it's di. It's digestif.
                                         
                                         Digestif.
                                         
                                         And aperitif. Malort is one of those, right?
                                         
    
                                         I will never back off this corner that it is
                                         
                                         however I said it the first time.
                                         
                                         Oh, I agree. I just wanted to create division
                                         
                                         amongst AFE Nation because now
                                         
                                         there's the Dye and the D-Guys
                                         
                                         and we all know which side
                                         
                                         is right. The D-Guys, dude. The D-Boys.
                                         
                                         They're all welcome at the Teddy Pendergrass show.
                                         
    
                                         The Dye Boys, D-Boys.
                                         
                                         Everybody. As long as there's no girls.
                                         
                                         They can join Dean Martin and the...
                                         
                                         Shit's going south. The Dye and the D-Boys
                                         
                                         are here. This ain't good.
                                         
                                         Get Pendergrass to the helicopter This shit's gonna blow up
                                         
                                         Man there's hard nipple guys
                                         
                                         And big arm guys
                                         
    
                                         I don't know what we're gonna do
                                         
                                         They're all gonna run into each other
                                         
                                         We also got big nipple guys and hard arm guys
                                         
                                         Everybody's talking
                                         
                                         The whole town
                                         
                                         They've all been drinking for days
                                         
                                         Every dude's here
                                         
                                         fuck every sweaty guy in Ohio
                                         
    
                                         made it out tonight
                                         
                                         oh man Sean
                                         
                                         time for your second pick well this guy
                                         
                                         got fucked up ODB
                                         
                                         it'd be fun to have a night with the old dirty bastard
                                         
                                         he was on my list
                                         
                                         the kind of night at a certain
                                         
                                         period in my life would
                                         
    
                                         have been like yeah let's
                                         
                                         whatever anything you take me around we probably have a limo at a certain period in my life would have been like, yeah, let's whatever,
                                         
                                         anything.
                                         
                                         Let's you take me around.
                                         
                                         We probably have a limo.
                                         
                                         Who knows who's going to be there.
                                         
                                         Maybe it was when none of the other Wu Tang members were like hanging out
                                         
                                         with him.
                                         
    
                                         So maybe it was just me and him and some lunatics,
                                         
                                         or maybe they were all there.
                                         
                                         We were like a Grammy's after party or something.
                                         
                                         Who's to say,
                                         
                                         but it would have been awesome.
                                         
                                         Well,
                                         
                                         I know that baby,
                                         
                                         you like it,
                                         
    
                                         Ross.
                                         
                                         So that makes sense.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         As raw as you can get it.
                                         
                                         I think best case situation is like,
                                         
                                         he just got out of fucking jail.
                                         
                                         There's a concert that night.
                                         
                                         He surprises the Wu by showing up and jumping on stage.
                                         
    
                                         You're with him.
                                         
                                         You're in route for that whole fucking ride
                                         
                                         from jail to the venue, doing whatever he's doing.
                                         
                                         That'd be amazing.
                                         
                                         Yeah, we want to see what he's up to.
                                         
                                         I would be kind of scared.
                                         
                                         That's what I'm saying, kind of where you're just like,
                                         
                                         okay, but if you
                                         
    
                                         match someone, whatever level they're on,
                                         
                                         I guess for me anyways,
                                         
                                         that usually goes away. Not like I've hung out
                                         
                                         with absolute lunatics, but
                                         
                                         if you just get to where they're at,
                                         
                                         then I'm like, all right, I feel fine.
                                         
                                         I feel like we're on par.
                                         
                                         And if you're not scared, why should I be?
                                         
    
                                         It's all right.
                                         
                                         It's a weird place to get to.
                                         
                                         But when you get there, whatever,
                                         
                                         you just match the level that you're at.
                                         
                                         With Prince, it'd be a little more sexual, I feel like.
                                         
                                         A little more sexual.'d be a lot more sexual.
                                         
                                         Might be a little cleaner.
                                         
                                         There isn't a more sexual
                                         
    
                                         situation than probably hanging out with Prince, right?
                                         
                                         I mean, I can't imagine one.
                                         
                                         Prince is sexual at the DMV getting his
                                         
                                         license taken. That's just like the whole
                                         
                                         thing is fucking.
                                         
                                         How do you be with sexual? That's just like the whole thing is fucking. ODB was sexual too though.
                                         
                                         So it'd be, you know,
                                         
                                         I'd run the gamut.
                                         
    
                                         But yeah, there's like,
                                         
                                         is there like video of him
                                         
                                         like hanging out the top of a limo or something?
                                         
                                         It's what I'm thinking of
                                         
                                         when I think of the night with him.
                                         
                                         When he takes the limo
                                         
                                         to get his welfare check with MTV?
                                         
                                         Maybe.
                                         
    
                                         That was way late stage though.
                                         
                                         I feel like I was
                                         
                                         all dirty bastard.
                                         
                                         He also smelled bad
                                         
                                         notoriously. Really?
                                         
                                         Yeah, like other guys at Wu-Tang
                                         
                                         said that. He would just be out
                                         
                                         partying for a long time so he'd be stinking.
                                         
    
                                         Which I think is hilarious.
                                         
                                         Yeah, that doesn't surprise me at all.
                                         
                                         Yeah, that doesn't surprise me one bit.
                                         
                                         If you would have said notoriously smells, then I would have been like,
                                         
                                         oh, shocking.
                                         
                                         Did you guys listen to
                                         
                                         Open Mic Eagle's podcast, What Had Happened?
                                         
                                         You ever listen to those?
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, I do.
                                         
                                         It's with some producer about ODB.
                                         
                                         It was actually kind of surprising.
                                         
                                         He kind of was like an art
                                         
                                         prank dude.
                                         
                                         Going to get his welfare in the limo.
                                         
                                         The dude was saying when he met ODB,
                                         
                                         he was like,
                                         
    
                                         I want to do something like that's like a prank I want to do.
                                         
                                         And it was like,
                                         
                                         finally like MTV wanted to roll around with him.
                                         
                                         And he's like,
                                         
                                         yeah,
                                         
                                         this is the perfect fucking opportunity.
                                         
                                         But he kind of not saying he wasn't like in the moment and pure id and shit
                                         
                                         like that,
                                         
    
                                         but he had things he's like,
                                         
                                         this would be cool to do.
                                         
                                         This would be fucking cool to do.
                                         
                                         And he wanted to just like put on a spectacle with it i like that even better right yeah yeah yeah you don't accidentally
                                         
                                         like it whatever the picture is painted but you have to have it together a little bit to be that
                                         
                                         successful i mean you know there's there's a lot in there that wasn't just like a lunatic
                                         
                                         but it would have been yeah it would have been fun to get hammered with him i'll tell you that
                                         
                                         adam time for your second pick.
                                         
    
                                         I don't know if this is a great or horrible pick,
                                         
                                         yet here it is.
                                         
                                         Mozart.
                                         
                                         I like him.
                                         
                                         I would like to get hammered with Mozart.
                                         
                                         Granted, all I know of it is Amadeus.
                                         
                                         What I saw in the movie Amadeus looks pretty fun to me.
                                         
                                         And I know he was like,
                                         
    
                                         he was huge and he was coveted in every medieval court.
                                         
                                         So we're,
                                         
                                         I'm not even medieval.
                                         
                                         It's like 1700s.
                                         
                                         So you're just rolling around and I don't know,
                                         
                                         European carriages,
                                         
                                         horse-drawn carriages going from Vienna to Paris to play with Mozart.
                                         
                                         Sounds good.
                                         
    
                                         And I know he died penniless.
                                         
                                         So he was just burning through it.
                                         
                                         Can't take it with you, baby.
                                         
                                         Yeah, exactly.
                                         
                                         So like all the frilly outfits, all the high courts of Europe,
                                         
                                         rolling with Mozart, getting hammered.
                                         
                                         That sounds fucking great.
                                         
                                         I like that.
                                         
    
                                         I like that a lot.
                                         
                                         I like that a lot. On a a lot. He was a tiny little guy
                                         
                                         too. So just this little dude getting like
                                         
                                         fucking half cocked, full cocked,
                                         
                                         jumping on a piano.
                                         
                                         And I think people couldn't
                                         
                                         stand him. Like they wanted
                                         
                                         to hear him and then they were just
                                         
    
                                         like, get this fucking guy out
                                         
                                         of our kingdom. I mean, he also notoriously stank.
                                         
                                         Did he?
                                         
                                         No, I don't know.
                                         
                                         It's the 1770s.
                                         
                                         Everybody stank. Everybody. Nobody smelled good. He enjoyed billiards,
                                         
                                         dancing, kept pets.
                                         
                                         He liked recreational horse riding.
                                         
    
                                         He had a startling fondness for
                                         
                                         scatological humor. See, so
                                         
                                         I think you get along. We get along
                                         
                                         with together. And I do
                                         
                                         feel like you can just,
                                         
                                         it's kind of fun to just watch somebody
                                         
                                         burn it all down sometimes.
                                         
                                         And I feel like you would just sit there
                                         
    
                                         and he's not threatening.
                                         
                                         He's a little guy.
                                         
                                         So you wouldn't be like, I'm not at personal risk.
                                         
                                         Let's just get hammered and watch Mozart
                                         
                                         burn this bridge and never perform here again.
                                         
                                         You might have to like get in a couple of fights
                                         
                                         on his behalf where you're like,
                                         
                                         we got to get Mozart out of here.
                                         
    
                                         But even back then,
                                         
                                         I just feel like
                                         
                                         if you just kind of like
                                         
                                         grab someone's collar
                                         
                                         and slap them a little bit,
                                         
                                         that's the extent of the fight.
                                         
                                         It's not going to get...
                                         
                                         I said good day to you, sir.
                                         
    
                                         Like, it's just enough of that.
                                         
                                         Throw a golden bird cage
                                         
                                         and everything stops,
                                         
                                         you know, just like...
                                         
                                         This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35.
                                         
                                         Now, microdosing is an absolute game changer.
                                         
                                         I have never heard a bad word about it.
                                         
                                         And like we said, this episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35,
                                         
    
                                         our partner in getting things done.
                                         
                                         Imagine if you could.
                                         
                                         Let me just take you on a walk.
                                         
                                         You got a tool, sharpens your focus. It's going to clear your mind up. It's going to keep your anxiety at bay,
                                         
                                         which, man, wouldn't that be nice? And it's going to do it all day long. It's like a Swiss army
                                         
                                         knife for your mind. It might sound like a magic pill. I know I said it before, but that's,
                                         
                                         I swear to God, it's the plot of Limitless. It might sound like that, but you can actually get
                                         
                                         it done. There's the magic
                                         
    
                                         of microdosing with Schedule 35. Their products, they're backed by science and dose to a precise
                                         
                                         amount so you get exactly what you need to tackle your toughest days and you don't get the
                                         
                                         hallucinogenic effects. I feel like there's a lot of stigma attached with things like this.
                                         
                                         But Schedule 35, they're on a mission to de-stigmatize and educate on the
                                         
                                         science and real-world benefits of psilocybin, of which there are a ton. And they also want to
                                         
                                         make it accessible for everyone. Each order ships discreetly. No one's going to get in your business.
                                         
                                         No one's going to be in your kitchen stirring your Kool-Aid. It just comes in a nice little box.
                                         
                                         And it comes with a microdosing regime that keeps you on track. So you start small.
                                         
    
                                         I think that's the key to this.
                                         
                                         You start small and just let it ride.
                                         
                                         I know so many people do it.
                                         
                                         So, so, so many people do it.
                                         
                                         I don't think you're going to be disappointed.
                                         
                                         I strongly advise you give it a shot.
                                         
                                         And if you do, you get 15% off
                                         
                                         with code ALLFANTASY at schedule35.co.
                                         
    
                                         That's 15% off at schedule35.co and use promo code ALLFANTASY.
                                         
                                         This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Now, with this week, we want to touch a little bit on
                                         
                                         self-care routines, some stuff that's non-negotiable. Some stuff like you can't...
                                         
                                         I got buddies, they can't skip leg day. Myself, my schedule is completely packed out with hanging out with my daughter. You try to pepper in work in there. It's really hard to find the time for that. Like those things that I want that self-care stuff. I like to walk a lot. I know it sounds ridiculous. And like, I don't know what fun means, but I do like walking. I love to skateboard, but it's hard. I got to drive to the park. I got to
                                         
                                         get warmed up, which takes your boy a gentleman's half hour these days because these gams ain't what
                                         
                                         they used to be. But I know that's what makes me happy. And it's hard to make time for it.
                                         
                                         When you feel like you don't have any time for yourself, it can weigh on you more than anything
                                         
                                         else. Non-negotiables like therapy are
                                         
    
                                         more important than ever in that situation. You need to set time. Get it like I keep saying,
                                         
                                         get a new set of ears on it. If you're having a tough time finding time for yourself, if you just
                                         
                                         talk to someone, you say these things out loud, you will realize that there is time. You can make
                                         
                                         time for yourself. You just have to prioritize it. It happens. You can talk to
                                         
                                         someone, get a new set of ears on it, and they will just guide you through the path. Therapy
                                         
                                         helps with everything. And if you're thinking of starting, go on and get better help a try.
                                         
                                         Give it a shot. It helps for learning positive coping skills, setting boundaries, all these
                                         
                                         things that are extremely important. It's all online. It's convenient, flexible. They suit to
                                         
    
                                         your schedule. Go on and fill out a brief questionnaire.
                                         
                                         You get matched with a licensed therapist
                                         
                                         and you can switch therapists at any time
                                         
                                         for zero additional charge.
                                         
                                         They got your back.
                                         
                                         Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp.
                                         
                                         Visit betterhelp.com slash all fantasy today
                                         
                                         to get 10% off your first month.
                                         
    
                                         Again, that's betterhelp, H-E-L-P.com slash all fantasy.
                                         
                                         David, time for your second and third picks.
                                         
                                         My second pick, I'm taking Andre Lewis Hicks.
                                         
                                         I'm taking Mac Dre.
                                         
                                         Oh, yeah.
                                         
                                         Gosh, he was.
                                         
                                         Mac Dre, I almost want early, like too hard for the radio.
                                         
                                         Mac Dre, 18 mega reps till I'm 80 though.
                                         
    
                                         No, I actually want him when he was eating pills.
                                         
                                         So post-96, pre-2004, Mac Dre, the height of fizzle dance.
                                         
                                         He's fucking everybody from the Bays out there.
                                         
                                         So E-40s out there.
                                         
                                         It's everybody partying.
                                         
                                         Oh, man.
                                         
                                         People still, he's still like a legend out there.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
    
                                         It's like crazy how much people love Mac Dre.
                                         
                                         So like he, I learned in this was like the unfortunate part of making this list, how
                                         
                                         young a lot of these folks were, but he was like 34.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         I didn't know that.
                                         
                                         I thought he was like 45, 50.
                                         
                                         I really thought he was older than that.
                                         
                                         No, they killed him in Kansas city.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         He used to rob banks or allegedly with the romper
                                         
                                         just uh interesting it just be man that's about is fun i feel like there's no parties i would
                                         
                                         want to go to now like all my parties are like you know what i mean like i don't want to resurrect
                                         
                                         this person and have them come out have them come out for a beer with me right now no you know it's always like i'm thinking
                                         
                                         their time period yeah yeah for sure for sure i mean that's part of the fun of it like they know
                                         
                                         the lay of the land especially if you're talking someone like mozart i don't know what was going on
                                         
                                         they could show you a good time exactly you're dropped into their world it's their happy hour
                                         
    
                                         it's not yours exactly exactly and i'm just with it. I'm not trying to do it.
                                         
                                         No, let's change this to just
                                         
                                         these people have to come to whatever sad
                                         
                                         happy hour we have planned.
                                         
                                         They have to come on the rest.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         You get everyone Bill and Ted style and then you're like,
                                         
                                         we're going to Top Hat, guys.
                                         
    
                                         IPAs are only $6 tonight.
                                         
                                         You're going to love this, dude.
                                         
                                         It's stout month at vine street club
                                         
                                         and i really think they're doing some flavor profile shit over there it's gonna rock your
                                         
                                         world oh yeah this one's peanut butter you can get a gator burger they do gator burgers dude
                                         
                                         they do elk sausage be playing all their music on touch tunes right in front of them be like
                                         
                                         how you gonna handle this at happy hour?
                                         
                                         Smash cut to Kate and Holland getting choked on the floor of a brewery.
                                         
    
                                         You ever done that to someone in front of a musician?
                                         
                                         Played one of their songs in a bar?
                                         
                                         I've never had the opportunity to do that.
                                         
                                         It'd be interesting.
                                         
                                         It'd be rude, right?
                                         
                                         What do you mean?
                                         
                                         I don't know. I can't think of anyone who's on the level that they'd be hanging out with me.
                                         
                                         But if you just went and played their song at a bar,
                                         
    
                                         like somebody where nobody knew it was them,
                                         
                                         maybe that level.
                                         
                                         I would not make that move.
                                         
                                         No,
                                         
                                         I wouldn't either.
                                         
                                         But what's your third pick?
                                         
                                         I have a hard out of two.
                                         
                                         Oh shit.
                                         
    
                                         Okay.
                                         
                                         I'm taking a 67.
                                         
                                         I'm taking earth a kid.
                                         
                                         Oh,
                                         
                                         I don't know why.
                                         
                                         It just seems like that would be a good night out.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         I don't know much about her.
                                         
    
                                         Good, fun.
                                         
                                         I know that she was an activist in a lot of really cool ways.
                                         
                                         Like when AIDS was new and all.
                                         
                                         Like she was really anti-Vietnam.
                                         
                                         Like she has that quote about the hippies and shit like that.
                                         
                                         I think she was just like kind of a good time entertainment person
                                         
                                         that just I want to hear her talk to me.
                                         
                                         I want to hear what she sounds like drunk.
                                         
    
                                         Can you imagine smoking a cigarette with like a martini that, you know?
                                         
                                         Oh, man.
                                         
                                         I feel like she's the type of person who would smoke and be like,
                                         
                                         I love smoking.
                                         
                                         It feels good. person who would smoke and be like i love smoking yeah with people who smoke cigarette only when they're drunk every now and again like yeah yeah so i had to google that fuck yeah now i know
                                         
                                         exactly what you're talking about yeah that's amazing yeah cat woman but she's she's sultry
                                         
                                         i would also do old earth a kid though because I think she got her first gold record in the 80s or some shit.
                                         
                                         I don't think that's the wrong time to get her.
                                         
    
                                         She would be theatrical like that.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I think it would be a lot of fun.
                                         
                                         I think it would be a very eclectic group
                                         
                                         because she was kind of open to everybody.
                                         
                                         I think it would be a good night, man.
                                         
                                         Just like a New York night.
                                         
                                         Yeah, yes, yes, yes, yes, exactly. Adam like a New York night. Yeah, yes.
                                         
                                         Yes, yes, yes, exactly.
                                         
    
                                         Adam, time for your third pick.
                                         
                                         Okay, I'm torn. We'll see if this other one
                                         
                                         remains, but I'm going to go first.
                                         
                                         I think Tom Petty.
                                         
                                         Oh, that's a good one.
                                         
                                         I figured that was on your list, Ian.
                                         
                                         I forgot.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
    
                                         Just like maybe
                                         
                                         the Allman Brothers get involved,
                                         
                                         and it's just kind of a fucking backyard,
                                         
                                         southern house party type of party
                                         
                                         that I think could be a lot of fucking fun.
                                         
                                         I think you'd wake up the next morning,
                                         
                                         and you'd be like, I had 22 beers.
                                         
                                         Absolutely.
                                         
    
                                         And moonshine.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Oh, that would be fun. I feel like it wouldn't
                                         
                                         like I was looking this up
                                         
                                         Petty famously toured around
                                         
                                         with a confederate flag
                                         
                                         back in the day
                                         
                                         during one tour
                                         
    
                                         and he like apologized for it
                                         
                                         he's like I didn't fucking
                                         
                                         he's like I just grew up
                                         
                                         around that shit
                                         
                                         and I thought it was just
                                         
                                         like the backdrop
                                         
                                         and I rocked it on a tour
                                         
                                         and I was
                                         
    
                                         that was dumb of me
                                         
                                         my bad
                                         
                                         and I was like good on you Petty like at least just like own it it was stupid fucking hillbilly shit and I rocked it on tour and I was, that was dumb of me, my bad. And I was like, good on you, Petty.
                                         
                                         Like, at least I own it.
                                         
                                         It was stupid fucking hillbilly shit
                                         
                                         and I didn't realize the way it was making me look.
                                         
                                         So I feel like that alone
                                         
                                         means that they're not good old boy assholes.
                                         
    
                                         It's just like, it'll be a good fun hang.
                                         
                                         I think just in the fun ways.
                                         
                                         I think just where you end up like
                                         
                                         throwing records off of his back porch in Malibu and taking pot shots at him.
                                         
                                         You know, like some kind of hunting.
                                         
                                         Yeah, exactly.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Going out on the four wheelers.
                                         
    
                                         Or just like, what's that movie?
                                         
                                         Throw Mama from the Bus or whatever.
                                         
                                         Throw Mama from the Train.
                                         
                                         Where they throw the plates off the roof.
                                         
                                         It's like the dishes are done, man.
                                         
                                         Don't tell Mom the babysitter's dead.
                                         
                                         Don't tell Mom the babysitter's dead.
                                         
                                         The dishes are done, man. Don't tell mom the babysitter's dead. Don't tell mom the babysitter's dead. The dishes are done, man.
                                         
    
                                         That'd be pretty fun.
                                         
                                         Yeah, Tom Petty'd be great.
                                         
                                         Sean Jordan, time for your third pick.
                                         
                                         I can just feel it in my bones
                                         
                                         that I think it'd be a blast
                                         
                                         to hang out with Joe Cocker.
                                         
                                         I don't know a ton about Joe Cocker,
                                         
                                         but anytime you see it just looked like a loose cannon, and his voice is beautiful to me.
                                         
    
                                         It's so beautiful.
                                         
                                         I didn't realize that, but it's so beautiful to me.
                                         
                                         He just looks fun.
                                         
                                         He just looks great.
                                         
                                         If you just look up young Joe Cocker, he looks like a lunatic.
                                         
                                         Yeah, it just seems to me like it would be an absolute blast and he maybe is one who'd be like
                                         
                                         doing shots with me i don't see a lot of people doing stuff like that where he'd be like he was
                                         
                                         a drinker for sure yeah he'd be like line him up knock him back you know bottle put just leave the
                                         
    
                                         bottle that kind of dude uh right yeah and then he you know i'd get just as buck as he got. A Brit?
                                         
                                         I didn't know.
                                         
                                         You didn't know he was British?
                                         
                                         No, I had no idea.
                                         
                                         You never heard him talk?
                                         
                                         It's always wild when you hear him talk because you're like, whoa.
                                         
                                         Yeah, no, I never heard him talk. See, these are the kind of things you could get to know about him
                                         
                                         over the course of the evening.
                                         
    
                                         Oh shit, you're British?
                                         
                                         I wouldn't even figure it out right away
                                         
                                         because he'd be doing that Joe Cocker sing talk for a while. Then we'd get into mellow. I'd be like, well, you're British. I didn't even figure it out right away because he'd be doing that Joe Cocker sing talk for a while.
                                         
                                         Then we'd get into Mellow.
                                         
                                         I didn't know that.
                                         
                                         Then he gets a little drunk. He starts talking about his mom.
                                         
                                         Suddenly he sounds real British.
                                         
                                         His mom, as it were.
                                         
    
                                         His mum.
                                         
                                         They lived in Crawford, Colorado when he passed.
                                         
                                         He had a ranch out there.
                                         
                                         Is Crawford is boring?
                                         
                                         I have no idea.
                                         
                                         If Boring and I don't. Yeah, I don't even...
                                         
                                         If Boring and I don't know it,
                                         
                                         I don't think that's where it is.
                                         
    
                                         It's probably...
                                         
                                         70 highway miles southeast
                                         
                                         of Grand Junction,
                                         
                                         it says on here.
                                         
                                         Oh, that's deep, baby.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         That's deep, deep.
                                         
                                         That's like you don't want
                                         
    
                                         anybody to find you.
                                         
                                         That's like by New Mexico
                                         
                                         or something, right?
                                         
                                         Yeah, Boring and I
                                         
                                         don't fuck around over there.
                                         
                                         No, not at all.
                                         
                                         Yeah, well, me and Joe would talk about it. The Cocker District? We'd be down there of a fuck around over there. No, not at all. The Cocker District?
                                         
                                         We'd be down there at his ranch getting blasted.
                                         
    
                                         Sweating.
                                         
                                         Yeah, dude. Pouring sweat.
                                         
                                         Time for my third pick.
                                         
                                         I'm going way back.
                                         
                                         I want to hit
                                         
                                         either New York or New Orleans with this guy.
                                         
                                         I'm taking Cab Calloway.
                                         
                                         I figured.
                                         
    
                                         Ian, your picks are so classy.
                                         
                                         You've got very classy picks.
                                         
                                         I want like a spooky,
                                         
                                         just sort of eerie night out
                                         
                                         and like, you know what I mean? Like in those early
                                         
                                         jazz clubs with Cab Calloway
                                         
                                         just doing blow and like
                                         
                                         pounding drinks. I think it would be so
                                         
    
                                         much fun. Many of the moochers there.
                                         
                                         Many of the moochers there. Right. Exactly. She's a red hot hoochie coocher. Minnie the Moocher's there. Minnie the Moocher's there, right, exactly.
                                         
                                         She's a red hot hoochie coocher.
                                         
                                         She is a red, it's known.
                                         
                                         It is known and it is celebrated.
                                         
                                         You look up the saxophone player
                                         
                                         as a ghost, you're like, I knew it.
                                         
                                         I knew it.
                                         
    
                                         I just love his entire vibe, man.
                                         
                                         It's so, and his voice is so great.
                                         
                                         It would be amazing to just like
                                         
                                         start at like a concert at the cotton
                                         
                                         club watching him you know what i mean and then just being like where does this guy go afterwards
                                         
                                         yeah you showed me who he was i didn't know we were watching it was one of the youtube nights but
                                         
                                         you showed me a few times cab calloway that's why i think i was like yeah i bet i bet he's
                                         
                                         getting on the list yeah wearing zoot suits i only know the one song, but boy, do I love it.
                                         
    
                                         He's got some great ones. St. James
                                         
                                         Infirmary, his take on that too.
                                         
                                         Yeah, he's amazing.
                                         
                                         It's time for my fourth pick.
                                         
                                         And I'm going to take...
                                         
                                         Okay, I'm going with Janis Joplin.
                                         
                                         Damn. Oh, yeah.
                                         
                                         I didn't think he was going to go this late.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah. Whiskey. I didn't think it was going to go this late. Yeah.
                                         
                                         Whiskey. I didn't think so either.
                                         
                                         I thought that would be a first pick for one of us for sure.
                                         
                                         But then it didn't go.
                                         
                                         Then I was thinking I could get it last.
                                         
                                         But there on.
                                         
                                         Got to get Janice.
                                         
                                         Just drinking whiskey.
                                         
    
                                         Obviously a tragic passing at the age of 27.
                                         
                                         So many of these, you know, a lot of these people.
                                         
                                         I know, man.
                                         
                                         Problems with alcohol.
                                         
                                         But so do non-singers.
                                         
                                         So does everybody.
                                         
                                         Janice Joplin, I think like
                                         
                                         in San Francisco with Big Brother and the
                                         
    
                                         Holding Company, just
                                         
                                         putting back whiskey all night.
                                         
                                         And again, you're like, I hope she sings.
                                         
                                         If we ran it, if me and Joe Cocker ran it
                                         
                                         to you and Janis Joplin, I think we'd have to take a
                                         
                                         back seat, my friend.
                                         
                                         What if your pick was in San Francisco?
                                         
                                         You're like, but St. Louis
                                         
    
                                         during the Cardinals game.
                                         
                                         Dollar beer night at a
                                         
                                         Cardinals game. And they're playoff bound,
                                         
                                         so there's an energy in that.
                                         
                                         Stan the man Musual
                                         
                                         is winding down his career.
                                         
                                         Come on. I guess who would have been?
                                         
                                         When did Stan Musual play?
                                         
    
                                         Musual? He's probably done by
                                         
                                         then. No, I think you're right.
                                         
                                         He might've been done by then,
                                         
                                         but he was done by then.
                                         
                                         He's 50,
                                         
                                         60s,
                                         
                                         right?
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Stan the man though.
                                         
                                         Stan the man.
                                         
                                         Where?
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Me,
                                         
                                         her Salt Lake city,
                                         
    
                                         1997.
                                         
                                         I think it just would have been fun,
                                         
                                         man,
                                         
                                         to catch some of that,
                                         
                                         like authentic San Francisco.
                                         
                                         For sure.
                                         
                                         You know, just like getting tanked, wild abandoned. It just would have been fun man to catch some of that like authentic san francisco for sure you know just like getting tanked wild abandoned it just would have been amazing i think it would
                                         
                                         have been fun to also she had kind of like a you know as far as i could tell a good energy
                                         
    
                                         sure it would be fun to be around maybe not when she was hammered i don't know but
                                         
                                         you never know it'd be fun to see san francisco during that time i mean that would be amazing
                                         
                                         buddy i thought about it.
                                         
                                         I'm sure you have.
                                         
                                         I don't know.
                                         
                                         You were just talking about YouTube nights.
                                         
                                         My wife and I will watch lots of, like, 90s videos.
                                         
                                         And there's lots of San Francisco bands.
                                         
    
                                         Come on.
                                         
                                         Counting Crows, like, Third Eye Blind Jews.
                                         
                                         And I just get nostalgic for 90s San Francisco.
                                         
                                         I was like, I wish I could just walk around San Fran then.
                                         
                                         I can't even imagine the 60s.
                                         
                                         North Beach still rules.
                                         
                                         I like the whole place.
                                         
                                         The whole city rules. Yeah, I love it.
                                         
    
                                         My little brother's in the city doing music. He's having a
                                         
                                         good time, but for sure.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I'm into the whole place, man.
                                         
                                         But I was like,
                                         
                                         you know, because I did
                                         
                                         the Punchline, and I was in North Beach.
                                         
                                         I'm like, this doesn't feel
                                         
                                         tainted by like tech money the way maybe some of the other places do so much it's still like a
                                         
    
                                         little bit frozen in that old italian san francisco feeling right right um sean time for your fourth
                                         
                                         pick uh i'm just gonna live out a personal fantasy here. I'm going Lisa Left Eye Lopez. It would just be the cross-color Arab TLC on the TLC tip.
                                         
                                         I get to hang out with all of them.
                                         
                                         I get to see what T-Boss is like, probably.
                                         
                                         Or I'm just with Left Eye, and we're just going bananas in Atlanta.
                                         
                                         I don't even know where we're going.
                                         
                                         We're just out partying.
                                         
                                         She was a party animal, and I would be there for her.
                                         
    
                                         Bananas in Atlantis. Can I ask you, Sean? You sure can. She's in the bar. She's a party animal and I would be there for her. Bananas in Atlantis.
                                         
                                         Can I ask you, Sean?
                                         
                                         She sends you to the bar. She's like, get us some drinks.
                                         
                                         What do you bring her back?
                                         
                                         What a great question.
                                         
                                         What year would I say? It would be like 93?
                                         
                                         Because I can't...
                                         
                                         Pre or post Crazy Sexy Cool?
                                         
    
                                         Pre, I think, is what I'm going.
                                         
                                         So she's still really young.
                                         
                                         Well, yeah.
                                         
                                         Either. Okay. Even like waterfells.
                                         
                                         I can't because I can't do a vodka
                                         
                                         Red Bull. I don't think it was around yet.
                                         
                                         That's what I would say if it was like now.
                                         
                                         It'd be like a vodka Red Bull.
                                         
    
                                         You would get her, you would bring her
                                         
                                         back a vodka Red Bull? I think so.
                                         
                                         Now, I don't know.
                                         
                                         Interesting. Yeah, I guess she's
                                         
                                         like if you're, she's what?
                                         
                                         She looks like a vodka Red Bull.
                                         
                                         To me, she's like a personified vodka Red Bull.
                                         
                                         But at whatever 96 is equivalent of that
                                         
    
                                         would have been like a,
                                         
                                         like a, I don't know,
                                         
                                         maybe like a hurricane slushy thing.
                                         
                                         I don't know, man.
                                         
                                         She's not doing whiskey.
                                         
                                         Could have been like a 7 and 7
                                         
                                         or some gin and juice maybe.
                                         
                                         I think it's like a cocktail of some kind, right?
                                         
    
                                         I get her something that sounds like
                                         
                                         I get her something that seems like a cocktail
                                         
                                         for adults, but I get her like a
                                         
                                         brandy and Dr. Pepper or something.
                                         
                                         Yeah, like a sea breeze or something.
                                         
                                         It could be like an Incredible Hulk or something.
                                         
                                         I don't know if those were around either.
                                         
                                         Alizé was around. It could have been like some sort of Alizé drink.
                                         
    
                                         Alizé was around.
                                         
                                         Alizé was around.
                                         
                                         So there we go.
                                         
                                         Some Alizé.
                                         
                                         I think I'd probably bring back some Alizé and maybe some Henrock and see how that went down.
                                         
                                         If she didn't want any of the Hennessy, I'd obviously handle it myself.
                                         
                                         But I think she'd probably partake.
                                         
                                         That's a really good question, though.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         I'm bringing her a Seabreeze.
                                         
                                         What's a Seabreeze?
                                         
                                         Grapefruit juice?
                                         
                                         Yeah, cranberry juice,
                                         
                                         grapefruit juice,
                                         
                                         and vodka, man.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, she probably
                                         
                                         fucked with that.
                                         
                                         Lime.
                                         
                                         I'd say get away
                                         
                                         from our table,
                                         
                                         but then I'd act like
                                         
                                         I brought it, but yeah.
                                         
                                         What are you doing over here?
                                         
    
                                         Why don't you
                                         
                                         go back and sit
                                         
                                         with Cab Calloway, Jackass?
                                         
                                         At the end of this,
                                         
                                         all four of us
                                         
                                         are sitting at four tables
                                         
                                         in the corner of the bar just being like,
                                         
                                         what are they doing?
                                         
    
                                         We all get cast out.
                                         
                                         We don't have to hang with any of these fucking people.
                                         
                                         What the fuck are these four doing here?
                                         
                                         Adam, time for your fourth pick.
                                         
                                         Oh, fuck. It's getting down to
                                         
                                         four and five. Okay.
                                         
                                         This is just because I'm real curious
                                         
                                         about the scene. Selena. Selena. This is just because I'm real curious about the scene.
                                         
    
                                         Selena.
                                         
                                         Selena.
                                         
                                         Oh.
                                         
                                         Anything for Selena.
                                         
                                         Because I'm curious about the scene.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         I want to see the scene.
                                         
                                         I want to see the tour bus.
                                         
    
                                         I want to see the throngs.
                                         
                                         I speak Spanish.
                                         
                                         I love that part of the country.
                                         
                                         I just be on the bus
                                         
                                         fucking watching Selena.
                                         
                                         Like Texas?
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         But like into Mexico.
                                         
    
                                         Like driving into Mexico. Right driving into mexico right right
                                         
                                         right right you know absolutely uh you're dancing back with background to bitty bitty bomb
                                         
                                         shirt off wasted i've puked on myself her manager's not around you're like let me manage you
                                         
                                         they're like who's this creepy 43 year old who's hanging around Selena
                                         
                                         all day
                                         
                                         trust me let me manage you
                                         
                                         absolutely
                                         
                                         yeah I just think
                                         
    
                                         everything's from the movies
                                         
                                         but I just I like all that I saw
                                         
                                         and I want in on that world
                                         
                                         and there's something to be in on like a phenomenon
                                         
                                         as it's happening
                                         
                                         like at the height you know what I mean at the in on like a phenomenon as it's happening. Like at the height, you know what I mean?
                                         
                                         At the height of like a phenomenon.
                                         
                                         It's some T-Swiss shit.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                         Let me be a fly on the wall.
                                         
                                         Yeah, definitely.
                                         
                                         I wonder if she drank.
                                         
                                         Did she drink in the movie?
                                         
                                         She was only 23 when she died.
                                         
                                         That's so crazy.
                                         
                                         I feel like her brothers did.
                                         
    
                                         Like people around, the party would be there.
                                         
                                         The party's definitely there.
                                         
                                         And I've partied in Mexico a bunch of times.
                                         
                                         People love me down there.
                                         
                                         I'll tell you what,
                                         
                                         I just,
                                         
                                         I get,
                                         
                                         I fit in,
                                         
    
                                         I fit in with the,
                                         
                                         with the hardcore Mexican partying.
                                         
                                         I know how to do it.
                                         
                                         I've done it before.
                                         
                                         I'd love to do it again.
                                         
                                         And I feel like,
                                         
                                         uh,
                                         
                                         I'd be a nice addition to the tour.
                                         
    
                                         Man,
                                         
                                         I fit in.
                                         
                                         I can get drunk too.
                                         
                                         So, you know, don't worry about it.
                                         
                                         That would be great.
                                         
                                         David, time for your fourth and then your final picks.
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
                                         Fourth pick.
                                         
    
                                         I just know we had a reputation for a little bit.
                                         
                                         I love the time period.
                                         
                                         I'm taking Ray Charles.
                                         
                                         Ooh, that would be too much fun like a old industry party
                                         
                                         like a like a straight up music party man i think that would be a good good time everybody's over
                                         
                                         there he's making fun of stevie wonder i don't know why but in my head he had a beef with them
                                         
                                         yeah or he's like you know stevie can see right and i'm like ray bartender two more
                                         
                                         ray you are killing me tonight i bet they ended up getting along but there had to be a minute
                                         
    
                                         where he was like sure you doing my thing even though obviously yeah being blind isn't a thing
                                         
                                         but it's like come on well because yeah because, because Stevie Wonder was famous from when he was a kid, right?
                                         
                                         He was little Stevie Wonder.
                                         
                                         And then Ray was already an adult.
                                         
                                         So I bet he's like, this fucking kid's doing my shit.
                                         
                                         I don't know.
                                         
                                         That would be fun.
                                         
                                         And then lastly, just for the fucking sheer insanity of it, Keith Moon.
                                         
    
                                         Oh, my God.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Like, come on, man.
                                         
                                         That guy.
                                         
                                         Didn't he drive a car into
                                         
                                         a pond? He was going nuts. I think
                                         
                                         he did. That's what they say anyway.
                                         
                                         He drove a car into a lake.
                                         
    
                                         He was the Who's original drummer.
                                         
                                         Oh okay. But he died like
                                         
                                         not long into it
                                         
                                         right? Yeah.
                                         
                                         Almost immediately I think. He died
                                         
                                         1978. Which is kind of a sign
                                         
                                         that you know he was really going for it.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
    
                                         He's the guy that every annoying music fan is like,
                                         
                                         that's the best drummer of all time,
                                         
                                         and they will not hear anything other than Keith Lewis.
                                         
                                         Didn't he start trashing hotel rooms?
                                         
                                         He's the guy who started that.
                                         
                                         Like the first time that happened,
                                         
                                         you would have been like, what is going on?
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
    
                                         We got to pay for that, Keith.
                                         
                                         We got to talk about Keith, guys.
                                         
                                         We have a meeting about Keith.
                                         
                                         Keith, it's not the lamp's fault.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         I never thought about the first person
                                         
                                         to trash a room. What an uncouth
                                         
                                         thing to do. It was Mozart, dude.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, it was.
                                         
                                         Grand Hotel.
                                         
                                         Yeah, Keith Moon.
                                         
                                         That's my final pick.
                                         
                                         I want a crazy rock and roll style. You know what I mean? Grand Hotel. Yeah, Keith Moon. That's my final pick. I think it would.
                                         
                                         Yeah, good job.
                                         
                                         I want a crazy rock and roll style.
                                         
                                         You know what I mean?
                                         
    
                                         All the bad stuff.
                                         
                                         Man.
                                         
                                         The destruction of hotel toilets and plumbing costs as much as $500,000.
                                         
                                         He blew up the toilet and the plumbing is so gnarly.
                                         
                                         He blew up a bunch of shit.
                                         
                                         Did he blow up his drums on TV? Yeah.
                                         
                                         Yeah, he was... He's known for blowing
                                         
                                         shit up? That's crazy!
                                         
    
                                         Adam, your
                                         
                                         final pick.
                                         
                                         I'm just going with this because I'm fascinated by the man
                                         
                                         and I don't know how fun it would be, but
                                         
                                         I think it would be fun. Kurt Cobain.
                                         
                                         I'd like to get down with Kurt Cobain for sure.
                                         
                                         I know... What city? Washington State? Are you going in but I think it would be fun. Kurt Cobain. I'd like to get down with Kurt Cobain for sure.
                                         
                                         What city?
                                         
    
                                         Washington State? Are you going in Washington? You going to Yakima? Are you going
                                         
                                         LA? Maybe. No, I don't want to go
                                         
                                         home with him to Aberdeen. By the way,
                                         
                                         if you drive into Aberdeen, it says
                                         
                                         come as you are on the sign, which is pretty
                                         
                                         fucking odd. It's spelled U, which is crazy.
                                         
                                         And it's spelled C-U-M, yeah, which is
                                         
                                         like, Kurt would have liked that one. No, I know
                                         
    
                                         he has a good sense of humor, and he was odd and he was smart.
                                         
                                         And so I would like to be drinking with Kurt pre, pre, nevermind.
                                         
                                         Like after Bloom or whatever, after that one.
                                         
                                         Bleach, after Bleach, between Bleach and nevermind.
                                         
                                         Hanging around Seattle, drinking with Kurt Cobain.
                                         
                                         That'd be a wild ride.
                                         
                                         Plus,
                                         
                                         you know,
                                         
    
                                         Dave Grohl is coming around and he's funny.
                                         
                                         He's fun.
                                         
                                         He's got stories for days.
                                         
                                         He's picking up the energy.
                                         
                                         Like the Cobain whisperer.
                                         
                                         I don't think it's all sad.
                                         
                                         I think it's actually pretty funny.
                                         
                                         And I bet you Cobain talks shit with the best of them.
                                         
    
                                         Oh,
                                         
                                         I could see that.
                                         
                                         I could see that.
                                         
                                         When Cobain puts on like a Daniel Johnstone record and makes you listen to it
                                         
                                         and stops everyone from
                                         
                                         talking, that's when, you know,
                                         
                                         that's when, oh shit, you just said his name.
                                         
                                         I can't remember.
                                         
    
                                         That's when Groh rolls through and he's like,
                                         
                                         yeah, come on guys, you know, gets the party going.
                                         
                                         Come on, we're eating hot dogs. Let's do it.
                                         
                                         Alright, Dave, you old knucklehead.
                                         
                                         Fantastic. Sean, your final pick.
                                         
                                         Another just is foreign
                                         
                                         for me, but Whitney Houston. I just just want to sit I want to party with her
                                         
                                         I think it'd be fun for her and Left Eye
                                         
    
                                         to be at the same table to me
                                         
                                         it'd just be a blast
                                         
                                         and I just I can't imagine
                                         
                                         being around someone like Whitney Houston
                                         
                                         I just I can't it'd be crazy
                                         
                                         and if you put the whole table together
                                         
                                         it's pretty nuts
                                         
                                         everyone's be like Joe Cocker's here?
                                         
    
                                         that's alright I think everybody would get down with it.
                                         
                                         So I just, yeah, Whitney, man.
                                         
                                         And Joe Cocker's here? I didn't think about
                                         
                                         this as a team. That's interesting.
                                         
                                         No, me neither. That's crazy. I like that.
                                         
                                         I don't know that I would have wanted to hang
                                         
                                         I don't know if she would have
                                         
                                         wanted me there. The problem is
                                         
    
                                         when you make it a team, nobody wants to talk to me
                                         
                                         anymore. Yeah, I'm saying.
                                         
                                         If I'm the one weird guy, it makes sense.
                                         
                                         Now they're a super group.
                                         
                                         They're traveling Wilburys this year.
                                         
                                         You're out of the picture.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         They're the highwaymen.
                                         
    
                                         For my last pick, I'm taking this pick.
                                         
                                         It's almost like the whole night would be fun,
                                         
                                         but I know mopping it up,
                                         
                                         throwing some carbs in after it would be a lot of fun.
                                         
                                         I'm getting cheese egg and Welch's grape with a Notorious B.I.G.
                                         
                                         There we go. New York City?
                                         
                                         New York City?
                                         
                                         In New York City, ending the night.
                                         
    
                                         You know. They said it. He chronicled
                                         
                                         it for you with Big Papa. That's the night.
                                         
                                         End of the whole thing. We're having a good time.
                                         
                                         That's a dream come true, my friend. We're having a
                                         
                                         good time. It's a great way to end the evening.
                                         
                                         The Notorious B.I.G. is my
                                         
                                         final pick. Isaac is not with us.
                                         
                                         I think his number one pick probably would
                                         
    
                                         have been... I have no
                                         
                                         idea. I don't either.
                                         
                                         He'll put it in.
                                         
                                         We just tell him. I'll be like, hey, man, throw it in.
                                         
                                         Alright, this is Isaac from the future.
                                         
                                         My pick would have been Sinead O'Connor.
                                         
                                         Just to recap really quick
                                         
                                         because I have a doctor's appointment in one minute.
                                         
    
                                         David, you went first.
                                         
                                         You took Teddy Pendergrass, Matt Dre, Eartha Kitt,
                                         
                                         Ray Charles, and Keith Moon.
                                         
                                         Adam, you went second.
                                         
                                         You took Tupac Shakur, Mozart, Tom Petty,
                                         
                                         Selena, and Kurt Cobain.
                                         
                                         John, you went third.
                                         
                                         You took Prince, the old dirty bastard,
                                         
    
                                         Joe Cocker, Lisa Liftye Lopez, and Whitney Houston.
                                         
                                         I went last. I took Dean Martin, Freddie Mercury, Cab Calloway, Lisa Liftye Lopez, and Whitney Houston. I went last.
                                         
                                         I took Dean Martin, Freddie Mercury, Cab Calloway,
                                         
                                         Janis Joplin, and the Notorious B.I.G.
                                         
                                         We want to hear yours.
                                         
                                         Hit us up at AllFantasyPod on Twitter,
                                         
                                         AllFantasyPodcast at gmail.com.
                                         
                                         Shout out to everyone in the AFE subreddit,
                                         
    
                                         the AFE Patreon.
                                         
                                         Thank you for holding us down.
                                         
                                         The AFE should slack it.
                                         
                                         Shout out to Super Producer Isaac Lee on the ones and twos.
                                         
                                         Shout out to St. Sue Carmel.
                                         
                                         Shout out to Frankie O.
                                         
                                         Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats and more important
                                         
                                         than all of that, tune in next week to another
                                         
    
                                         brand new episode of all
                                         
                                         fantasy everything. Shaklackin! that was a hate gun podcast
                                         
